What if your “yes” to God changed everything?

In this inspiring episode of The Collide Podcast, we sit down with author, speaker, and God Hears Her podcast host Vivian Mabuni to talk about the beauty and bravery of saying yes to God. Vivian shares how surrendering to God’s leading has shaped her story—from ministry and motherhood to surviving cancer—and why the risks of obedience are always worth it. Whether you’re standing at a crossroads, holding tightly to control, or longing to trust God more deeply, this episode will remind you that saying yes to Him is never wasted.

Meet Vivian

Vivian Mabuni is an international speaker and writer with a passion for helping others experience the hope and life found through intimacy with God. With over thirty years of ministry experience on staff with Cru, she brings a depth of biblical wisdom and practical insight to her teaching. Vivian is a cancer survivor, co-host of the Our Daily Bread Ministries podcast God Hears Her, and the author of Open Hands, Willing Heart. She lives in California with her husband, Darrin, and their three kids.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn

• What it means to give God your “yes,” even when it feels risky
• Practical ways to grow in surrender and trust
• Why obedience often leads to unexpected blessings
• How saying yes can deepen your intimacy with God
• Encouragement for seasons when surrender feels scary or uncertain

How This Episode Will Encourage You

If you’ve ever struggled to trust God’s plan or feared what obedience might cost, this conversation will fill your heart with hope. You’ll be reminded that surrender isn’t about losing control—it’s about finding freedom and peace in the One who holds it all.

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Hey, there. This is Willow Weston, and I'm so glad you hopped on the podcast to hang out with me and Vivian today.

And I just love saying the name Vivian over and over and over again. I actually don't know a Vivian, except for this one that I just got to know, but I just love the name.

I think it's cool.

It'd also be fun to write in cursive, don't you think? I do. Vivian Mabuniis an international speaker and a writer. She's written several books.

She's been in ministry for 30 years, and her latest book is called Open Hands, Willing Heart. And she lays out an invitation for us to begin to give God our yes more and more in our lives to practice surrender.

And this isn't an invitation that most of us are looking for. It's it. It's a hard one. It's a tough one.

And yet I wonder if our lack of surrender and are not giving God our yes is why we feel like we're banging our head against the wall sometimes and why it feels like. And I mentioned this in the episode, God almost has to pry open our fingers because we're holding on too tightly to some things.

And so my hope is that when you listen to this interview that you're open to the spirit of God speaking. Vivian, I'm so glad to have you on the podcast. It's going to be such a great time talking to you.

I told you I stalked you, and I see that you are not a singer. You say you're horrible with numbers, so I'm totally tracking with you. Your favorites are coffee, post it notes, and shoes.

So I thought it'd be really fun to start with. What's your favorite coffee drink, your favorite color of post it notes, and your favorite pair of shoes.

Oh, Willow, I love your first question. Thank you. All of my favorites. Okay.

My husband and I, we've been married for 34 years, and we decided this summer that we would combine our birthday presents to each other and our anniversary presents to each other. And we went and got an espresso machine.

Oh, wow.

So he's been dialing it in. That is a term I'm not that familiar with with espresso. Espresso. But I am enjoying vanilla lattes. Like multiple.

Like, I go to bed at night looking forward to waking up, and then I was getting my nails done and I was like, I can't wait to get home and have a latte.

So.

So, yes, I love a vanilla latte. I. You know, the rest of My family drinks black coffee, but I am a dessert woman, so I did buy some pumpkin spice for after it turns fall.

I'm committed to September 21st. I do not pumpkin before September 21st.

Okay. Okay. You. You. You're almost there.

I'm almost there. Post its. I love them all. I love the big ones and the little ones. So. Favorite color. Post it. I would go with just about anyone.

So, yeah, I'm a pretty open post it lover. And the third question was, was it favorite shoes?

Favorite pair of shoes? Since you love shoes, what's your very fav. If you could only wear it for the rest of your life and no other shoes, what pair are you gonna go with?

Okay, Willa, this is a very, very challenging question. I'm gonna go with.

I have a pair of leather flat 10 like, sneakers, but they're, you know, I got them at Nordstrom Rack, so they're kind of like a little bit dressier than a Converse, but they're flat and they. So they look cute. You can wear them with, like, your basic jeans. You could also wear them with some slacks, you know, and kind of.

You could do the blazer thing, but you can walk for miles, so, you know, a little bit of support inside. So, yeah, I'm all for it, but, you know, I love variety. And, you know, at a women's retreat, I will pack five or six pairs, because you never know.

So. Oh, my gosh, you're hilarious. I love it. You have been a speaker, a writer, a person in ministry for over 30 years.

I just wonder, like, if you could rewind the clock and go back before these 30 years. Did you ever think that this is where God would guide your life?

Wow, that is a great question.

I did not grow up in a Christian home, so I had aspirations to be the president of the United States at one point or an astronaut or, you know, just big dreams like that. And at one point thought I would go into broadcast journalism possibly. You know, I saw Connie Chung, and she was kind of killing it.

Back, back, back, back in the day. And when I surrendered my life to the Lord, I was choosing between pursuing potentially law school or going into ministry.

And my parents are still not believers even to this day, still praying for their salvation. But I had asked, could I just join staff with a couple years, and I can always go to law school after that.

So two years turned to 36 years in vocational ministry. And I didn't see the speaker, writer, author.

I didn't have that as a picture, but I do remember sitting in a lot of audiences not seeing anyone who looked like me represented on stage or in the books that were written. And so that was always such a longing to see representation.

And that wasn't necessarily what I set out to be a part of, but I do see the value, the importance, and if I can learn anything to help make it easier for others to join that on ramp, that's kind of part of the ministry.

So I feel like God's plan is one that just continually unfolds and we just keep following the good shepherd and we don't know what's around the bend or, you know, over that next hill. But the. It's truly an adventure. And God is good. He is really good, even when it's hard.

It's crazy to me that you not only grew up in a non Christian home, which I did as well, but you had these ideas for yourself that you might be a lawyer, which is so entirely different than going into ministry. So God really threw you a curveball. Lady, you. I was reading up about you. You've written a few books.

I know we'll end up talking about the subject matter in those books, but you started writing not because you set out, it sounds like, to write a book, but you are writing on Caring Bridge. Can you tell us more about that?

Sure. I was diagnosed with breast cancer and my best friend set up a CaringBridge medical journal.

And that was back in the day when blogs had taken off, but it was just a place for people to get prayer requests and updates. But I started writing there and it really felt. I don't know how to describe except for Holy Ground.

There was a space where I just felt like as I was processing with the Lord through writing, it was helping me to kind of be centered. But I didn't feel pressure to have to produce an essay or, you know, anything.

But it seemed to resonate with people that they were sharing with other people. And they're like, we're not even going through cancer right now, but what you're saying, these words are hitting us.

And would you mind if I shared with my friends?

So that's what began my writing, which was so backwards because what ended up Happening was an author I had never met forwarded my medical blog to a publishing house. And an editor from a publishing house actually reached out to me and said, hey, do you have a book proposal? And I'm like, googling book proposal.

So it really came in a roundabout way for me to write my first book on my, my cancer journey.

But in it, those lessons were foundational ones that I have been passionate about in my own life and then in teaching that they're kind of evergreen topics, like, what does it look like to go through challenging times, whether it's a medical challenge or a financial challenge, any kind of death and disappointment. Like, how do we maintain an accurate view of who God is? How do we experience his comfort? How do we lean into community?

And those have been topics that I love to teach about. And then that kind of led to a next book, which was again, another passion teaching, which is on living surrendered.

Because that posture of yieldedness to the lordship of Christ really does free up his spirit to lead us into the next. And I have found over and over that for myself and for my friends and women that I cross paths with that.

It's often when we are holding on so tightly to what we think is the way and the plan that. That really ends up choking up God's spirit.

Working and leading and guiding healing, even whether it's forgiveness or dealing with genuine trauma and pain, all of those things that can keep us stunted in our growth and stunted in our ability to produce fruit. And. And you know, Jesus says, I'm glorified when you produce much fruit.

So it's really this upside down kingdom, and that's kind of where the writing has come out of. So I think I'm a speaker who writes rather than a writer who speaks. But it's been another form of being able to teach that I have learned to enjoy.

But I still feel really, I. If I'm honest, it's really. I feel very intimidated by the whole writing world. I love great writing, but it's. It's something where I'm.

Like, when you put out writing, like, if I speak, most people forget what I've said within a month. But if you put it out in writing, people can go back and highlight things and say, you know, so, yes.

It's in cement, lady. I understand that pain, right? Take, take us back to the day you found out that you had cancer.

Because I think, I mean, I know I have several friends right now and women, you know, in the Collide community who have cancer. Did you just automatically have this really grounded response.

And you were good with God and you're ready to tell the world about him when you had cancer? Like, how did you walk from that initial diagnosis to this place where you move to being able to write about the sacredness of the journey?

Yeah, you know, going back, it's so interesting how certain times mark us. And so to think back to the day that I got the diagnosis, now so many years out of that place, I can look back and see God's faithfulness.

And so there are two pieces that really made all the difference that came prior to the phone call. And one was that I had really sensed from God. My husband and I were in Japan on a summer mission leading college students.

And I had sensed from the Lord that summer, like, Viv, would you be willing to sell the house in Southern California, move the kids all the way here to Japan where they drive on the other side of the road and learn a language you don't even know and come here to do ministry? And I was really angry at God, to be honest. I'm like, we're already missionaries. We brought this whole group of students here.

What do you mean, we're surrendered? And it was just, do you want more from me? Really?

It was like that willow, I was stomping around the streets of Nagoya kind of angry, and finally came to a place of surrender again. It was like. Because we re up. And it was like, you know, ultimately, Lord, the house is yours. And the money, the money is yours.

And the kids, ultimately, the kids are yours. They've been entrusted to us for a short time, but the kids are yours and I am yours.

And so if you want us to sell the house and do all those things, I'm in. So it was this place of surrender. And it.

And I didn't realize till years later, probably another 15 years later, that that decision wasn't about moving to Japan as much as my heart posture. But I had no idea that it was going to be later on in that same calendar year that I was going to get the call.

And then the second really key piece of my story that changed everything was I had been leading a women's Bible study. Brand new believers, non believers.

And as we spent time together because women are amazing when we create environments where there's trust and confidentiality and we see each other, it's beautiful.

We can also be the worst because we can gossip and backstab and be mean girls and be cliquey, but when we are healthy and in great places, we are the best. So I was having this amazing connection with these women.

And one of them shared about a woman in their neighborhood that had been diagnosed with breast cancer. She was not a believer. She was, they termed her. She had the reputation in the neighborhood of being an Asian Martha Stewart.

So she always looked put together and her house was clean and her kids were well behaved, and everything about her life was just perfect. And when she got diagnosed, people wanted to help her and she refused help from everyone. And she was like, no, no, no, I'll be fine.

She didn't want to put anyone out. And then she started going through her active treatment and was unable to hold her perfect world together.

And then my friend shared that tragically, this woman ended up taking her own life. And so she left behind her husband, her two kids.

And we had been meeting in a food court at the time, and I felt like the Lord just completely had my full attention and everything froze. And God was like, viv, you don't know this Asian Martha Stewart, but you're kind of like her. You like being the strong one. You like to help others.

And you have a really hard time letting people in. And so I just promised God right there. And then I just said, you know, if.

If anything like this happens, I purpose right here, right now, I'm gonna let people in. So this was in October, and three days before Christmas is when I got that call.

And I would just say that God had gone before and had prepared my heart. So it was like as we went, these things were unfolding.

But it's in looking back that I realized that he had prepared my heart to be in a place of surrender, where I didn't respond with anger. There was sure, there was concern, and is this a bad dream? And is this really happening?

And at the same time, I feel like those decisions to continue again, to tell the Lord, you know, I'm all yours, everything that I have is yours. And that decision about community, I feel like that really shifted the entire experience for me and for our family. And so that. That just set.

That set us to a different trajectory.

I think it's so interesting that you can sort of piece together these sort of proactive moves of God in your heart, getting you ready for something. And sometimes we don't know what we're getting ready for. And you can look back and see that those were gifts.

It's also interesting because you released a book, your second book, I believe. Second book, Open Hands, Willing Heart.

And in this book, you talk about willingly, you talk about surrender, you talk about willingly risking saying yes, and that's not something you're just preaching but haven't had to do.

You it sounds like you've had to do some surrendering, some handing over your plan, your way, your perfect life, your definition of looking strong and all of these things. I wanted to ask you a little bit about this topic because I think it applies to so many women who are listening. Why is our yes to God so important?

Well, it's we. We are in relationship with God and trust is really built in a place, in a space where there is trust and engagement.

So rather than seeing our faith as a list of do's and don'ts and our faith as kind of mechanical, we are really called into an intimacy with the Lord.

So I could liken it to my closest friendships with my girlfriends, I could liken it to my marriage with my husband that when there is a posture of yes, it creates the environment for more life and growth. And my resistance really does prevent the knowing. Like the true knowing, the deep knowing, not just an intellectual knowing.

I've met believers who have attended church for decades and their knowledge of God is truly like intellectual.

Like you could ask them to find a verse in the Bible and they could find it, but their experience of intimacy with the Lord, of knowing him, not just about him, but knowing him, that is directly correlated with I believe that yes. And so our yes to God, I would if you to visualize it, it's just easier to steer a moving car. So when we have said yes, then we really are a lot.

God is able to lead and guide us in new ways. And I think he waits for that.

I think he really waits for us to be in a place where it's like I will trust you, I'll go where you tell me to go and I'll do what you want me to do. And that adventure, it changes our countenance.

It's almost like I don't know if you've experienced this, but if I'm on an airplane and I meet a believer who's had that yes moment, one of.

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Be in a place where it's like I Will trust you. I'll go where you tell me to go, and I'll do what you want me to do. And that adventure, it changes our countenance.

It's almost like, I don't know if you've experienced this, but if I'm on an airplane and I meet a believer who's had that yes moment, it's so evident. Like, we have the types of conversations that go so deep because we both know the same shepherd, and we're like, oh, my goodness.

There's just a vitality about our faith because we live surrendered. And that, yes, is pivotal in how we navigate all of life.

Yeah. Well, it's so interesting. I'm watching my son, who's 22. Jesus has just radically changed him and gotten a hold of his life in the last few years.

And he absolutely loves this idea of surrender and that every day is this adventure. And he's looking. It's like you're saying he's in the moving car and he can't wait for God to be like, no, go left.

And he's having these experiences where the Lord is speaking to him and he's going and doing the thing that the Lord's telling him to do, and he's experiencing miracles. It's so crazy to watch. I look forward to his daily reports.

But why do you think we often say yes with our words to God, but really our actions say no? What do you think's going on there?

Control. We are. We are. I think we are just prone to two things. I think we are prone to grasp for control in whatever capacity because we want security.

And so it's easy to pay lip service. And it is definitely a place to start. I think, like, never despise the small beginnings. Someone wisely said that before. I have prayed.

I don't think it's just like, bust in and, okay, it's just one great big yes. There are times that the struggle is so real. It's the prayer that. That dad made in the scriptures where it's like, I believe, help me in my unbelief.

And so my yes is as much as I know right now, but I'm still kind of needing to try. I don't know your track record in my life. It's interesting because fresh faith requires a yes every step of the way.

And on one hand, the longer you walk with the Lord, you see that he's been faithful and. But it doesn't change the difficulty of that yes. And life gets increasingly more complex as we go.

So I think about 22 year old me and the yeses that I was making and they were as big as that moment.

But that was before children and a car payment, you know, the things that just add to like the future and retirement and health issues and I mean all the things that come with life. So our yes is still as sincere as it can be in that moment. I think we just want to think that we have control when we truly don't.

And sometimes that gets in the way.

The other thing for me that gets in the way when it's just my mouth versus my whole being, I struggle with thinking that I know better, you know, like I, I have a better plan. My, my plan, you know, for sure was.

And my wrestling when I got the cancer diagnosis was, Lord, it makes a lot of sense to me that I would be able to witness every milestone in my kids lives. I have three kids. Like I want to see every driver's license, graduation, wedding, grandchild. Like that to me is a great plan.

I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for welfare. And interestingly, we tend to in America, North America, read you as an individual when the Hebrew is all y'. All.

So it wasn't written to individuals, you know, it really wasn't.

I loved the Hebrew is all y', all, all y'.

All. And the Greek is all y'.

All.

Like truly, it says when Jesus says, let your light shine, the Greek there is all y'. All. Like, it's not an individualistic faith, you know, it's just so powerful. So that'll be the third book, God willing.

But going back to this, that verse in particular, so yes, it's all you all. But what struck me in that was the first three words of that verse is for I know, declares the Lord.

And I just thought, okay, Lord, I don't know what the best plan is, but I have to trust that if it's not what I'm seeing, that you see something far greater. And I want to trust you with that. So it's hard to say yes when I think I have the best plan. And I'm a firstborn kind of bossy person.

So sometimes I pray that way too.

Like this is what needs to happen in this time frame instead of just literally bringing those requests to the Lord and just saying here, and you take it and you do what you see fit because you know much more than I do. And I'm going to trust you.

What's your advice for people listening who maybe have a sense of what God is calling them to say yes to, and they don't want to say yes. How can we get to a heart place where we're willing to get there?

You know, we can't deal unless we feel so. I am a big proponent of raw honesty with God. You know, and I think back of every time God's called me to re up.

It's come with a tug of war of my will. And it's been sometimes full of tears or anger or kind of. I mean, like when I was in Japan, I'm kind of mad about it. Like, can you see our lives?

We've already made all of these decisions. We've been trying to live for you.

How could you even ask this when we've already done X, Y or Z, which I'm sure he's just smiling and nodding, going, you have no idea. You have no idea. But those. I think honesty with the Lord, he's not at all afraid of our true emotions. We don't have to clean up our.

We don't have to perform. And I think it's better to come to a place of genuine authenticity with God and let that be like there.

I think that there are places where the Lord, it's so clear what he wants us to trust him with. It's like it is the prodigal child, you know, and that's the place that cuts me every time.

Like, okay, or it is this financial situation that seems impossible or marriage trials or whatever the issue is that most cuts us. That's the very place that the Lord is inviting us to trust Him.

And so I generally think of all the things that are most important in my list of things, and that's what I need to surrender. So a lot of times it's the future. It's my kids, it's our home. I think about that all the time. Like, we've had fires here in Southern California.

And I've thought often, like, what would happen if our house literally went up in flames. Like, am I so attached to these things? And can I trust God even. Even if. And not to be morbid and not to be unnecessarily anxiety written.

But I think it's a good thing to do a little inventory. Like, where is really. Where is my heart? And do those things have me or do I have.

Or do I just happen to have those things, you know, and that's a good. A good. A good starting point and what Are.

You saying are some practical ways that we can grow and surrender?

One thing would be to be around other believers who are surrendered. We become like the people we spend time with.

And when I have spent time with other surrendered people, I leave refreshed with a deeper desire to know God and to trust him. And so who we spend time with and what we fill our minds with absolutely impacts how we decide to respond to things.

So I would say be very intentional. And there are those that I can leave.

And if I spend a lot of time with certain people, all I care about is the car, the type of car I drive, or the condition of my home and what my kitchen looks like compared to somebody else's. You know, I mean, it really does impact us.

And so being with other believers who love the Lord the same way and are challenging me to see and trust and live beyond just the here and now gives me a sense of a bigger purpose. And that is huge. That's important. A lot of times for me, I need regular times away from my phone on a very practical level.

Like I just take Instagram off my phone because if I get sucked into that world for too long, I start to do a lot of comparison. And there's envy and jealousy or pride or just things that are just icky in my soul. And so taking regular breaks from those kinds of things.

And I'm not saying that it's bad, but too much is just not good.

And I can tell by the type of gratitude level I have of my own life if I'm spending way too much time comparing my life to other people or they're curated, like maybe I need Botox, I don't know, things I would have never even thought about or whatever, all of a sudden become forefront of my mind rather than thinking on things that are true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and of good repute. So intake people. All of those things influence whether or not we are going to continue to say yes to God.

I think that's why reading the scriptures is so important to renew our minds. I think reading books can be helpful too, just to be inspired by other people and how they have responded.

And I think it's sometimes helpful just to get out of our own world.

We can get so lost in just trying to keep up with, I don't know, some random idea of what the good life is and miss out on genuine people and relationships. And sometimes it's just good to get out of our environment to be able to see again what's true.

Absolutely. So you mentioned earlier that God has Sort of prepared your surrender before you got the cancer diagnosis.

We talk a lot around here about Jesus colliding with our lives, running into our lives, into our pain, into our heartache and our brokenness, and bringing hope and healing.

And I'm curious what it looked like for you to continue to sustain your surrender through your cancer journey, and how did you experience Jesus showing up and colliding with you in that painful time? Mm.

It's very challenging to learn to be a gracious receiver, especially for.

And I think, you know, women are amazing, and we really help make the world go round, and we can be pillars of strength and we can be right there to help other people. But that switching that around to be gracious receivers, it can be really, really humbling. And I see how that posture of it's really humbling.

It's humbling to admit need to express that. So, yeah, that's something that comes to mind for sure. Jesus colliding. It really is his hands and feet through his people that was sustaining.

My understanding of prayer changed significantly from how you start a meeting, how you begin a meal, how you end a meeting, like these little bookends, but actually praying. And I remember one of my rounds of chemo was so awful.

I was up in the middle of the night crying in my pillow and just asking God, like, I don't know if I can make it. Would you just please wake some people to pray for me right now? Because it is just that bad.

And I didn't think much of it, but literally the following weeks, I would bump into people at the grocery store, or someone would just randomly text me, or I'd be at church, and they're like, I normally sleep like a rock, but for some reason, the Lord woke me up and you were on my mind, and I was praying for you so that the body of Christ. And I don't know exactly how it works with prayer, but there's something about our prayers that help sustain us again.

The head knowledge becoming heart knowledge and experiencing Jesus. That collision of.

In that moment of need, he was there and he was hearing those prayers and he was sustaining and he was strengthening in ways that I couldn't put my finger to it at the time, but I look back on it now and see that that's exactly what was happening.

Yeah, that's amazing. Vivian, are you still battling cancer or where are you at on that journey?

So I'm in remission, and I am grateful for that gift all the time.

The way that it usually works is once you finish your active treatment there's usually some kind of oral medication, like my cancer was estrogen positive, so I had to be on some medication of some type for about. I think it was 10 years or something like that. But you start to gradually need to see your oncologist less and less.

And so now my primary care doctor said, I don't think you need to go see your oncologist anymore. I think we're far enough out, and that has been really, really wonderful.

So.

Yeah.

So I hope you party when you heard that news.

Oh, gosh, it's. Yeah, yeah. Definitely worth celebrating.

I know there's women listening who. They know there's some things they need to surrender. I. I don't know if.

If they resonate with this, but I even know I had this experience this summer where I was holding on so tightly to something that I. That I didn't want to lose.

It almost felt like the Lord's like, I'm inviting you to surrender and let go of this and trust me with it, or the prying your fingers off of this thing is going to be really, really much harder on you and everyone around you. And I'm just thinking about women listening who know they need to surrender something.

Can you remind them or give them some encouragement on why it's worth it?

When I think about John 15 and the vine and the branches, Jesus says, I am the true vine. And you believers, all y' all are the branches. And he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me, you can do nothing.

Oftentimes we think that the blessing is the fruit, that we think that the blessing is all the things that get produced in us and through us. And I would like to add to that thinking, instead of looking to that as the blessing, it's actually Jesus, he is the blessing.

And when we abide in him, we. We end up with everything that way, because he is everything in Him. We live and move and have our being like that.

I just want to remind my sisters that truly our hearts are always going to be restless unless they find true rest in Him. And rather than just a platitude or a mug, you know, a saying on a mug or anything like that.

But truly, truly in the deepest parts of who each of us is, it's that intimacy with the Lord that is what we're truly craving. And so even that thing that I'm holding on and my fist so tight, I'm thinking that that's going to be life. But that's not life, because he is life.

And entrusting that part to him helps us to know God in a way that we wouldn't otherwise, because we're so focused on that thing that we're holding so tightly to.

So my encouragement would just be that that posture of living with open hands means that God is free to remove things from our life if he sees that that's best. He's also free to place things in our life if he thinks that's best, which sometimes those things aren't very welcome.

Like we wouldn't mind letting go of some of these hardships. I have friends who are walking through a season of infertility, and that is extremely, excruciatingly painful.

There are so many more questions than answers, and that is something that God has actually allowed to be in that person's life. One of my best friends right now is walking through stage four ovarian cancer, and I was just with her in the infusion room yesterday.

And I have more questions than answers. So the needing to trust him will never change. It's just that the circumstances will keep shifting.

But the only true freedom we find is in that place when there's surrender. Because that's the only place that true peace comes. Otherwise, we're looking to that thing for peace. We're looking to that outcome for peace.

We're looking to a certain circumstance for peace, rather than looking to the Prince of peace who truly is our comfort and our peace.

That helps me to kind of frame everything else is that we were created to depend and we were created to recognize that we don't have all the answers and to live in that tension because in some way we know God in a very different way when we have that kind of posture.

Well, Vivian, thank you so much for being on with us today. I know there's other women out there who not only needed to hear what you are inviting them into, but they also love coffee, post notes and shoes.

So how can they follow you and check out your books and all the things?

Oh thank you.

Well, I'm mostly@instagram ivmabooneyouney and I have a website, vivianmabooni.com I just finished my master's at Denver Seminary in Biblical Theological Studies. And a little shout out there for your listeners if there are any women who have ever wanted to go to seminary.

I started these women's leadership cohorts that are a three year master's in biblical theological studies.

And there's a $7,000 tuition break for these women's leadership cohorts where people can women can like zoom in from all over the country and be in the same group to go through this three year program together.

And that's a passion project that I would love if that would be a resource in any way to the women listening if they've ever had the inkling and desire to go to seminary. It's a great way to do it. Women from all different life stages, little kids, empty nesters, single working, all of it.

But it's possible because of technology and all those things. But yeah, I would love for women to be able to check it out. I also co host a podcast called called God Hears Her Through Our Daily Bread.

And that's another area that I have really loved as well. So those are some fun places to connect.

Thank you so much, Vivian.

You're welcome.

Friend. I know that the topic of surrender and giving God your yes is not the easiest topic in the world.

And yet, you know, I think about Mary in, in the Bible, Jesus's mother who finds out that she's going to give birth to Jesus. And it's crazy news. It's absolutely crazy. It's going to wreck a lot of her relationships and her life. And she has the most beautiful response.

She says, may it be, as you have said, somehow the God of the universe, the God who made her crash right into her life and says, hey, I'm going to take your life in a direction that you never thought possible, that you never imagined, that you never wanted, you never prayed for. And actually, it's going to maybe feel a little like it's wrecking your life, but I promise you it's for a purpose. And her response is so beautiful.

I want to get to a place where I'm more like Mary.

And I mentioned when I was talking to Vivian that I've recently gone through a season where I realized I'm holding on too tightly to something I want, something I. Something I want desperately.

And the Lord has made it so clear that I'm holding onto it so tightly and I actually have to let it go and trust God with this thing that I care about so much. And if I don't, he's gonna end up. The prying of the fingers to have to let go and trust is gonna be harder than if I hand it over.

And I mentioned that to you today because I don't know where you are. I don't know if you're in your car, I don't know if you're on a treadmill, maybe you're, you know, cooking.

I don't know.

I don't I don't know. Maybe you're doing something super cool, but I wonder what is the thing that God is saying? Just open up your hands and hand it to me.

Just trust me with this thing you care about. What is that thing for you, friend?

I wonder if it would feel so empowering, like a moment, a leap of faith, a deeper intimacy with the Lord for you to just hand it over and say, I give it to you. I can't control it. I can't make it stop. I can't make it start. I can't make sure it's going to be okay. I can't force it into being.

I can't make the plan in my head become my reality. I hand it to you, and all you have to do is literally, I'm doing it right now in the podcast room.

Just open up your hands and say to God, I trust you with this, Lord. I surrender this to you. I hand it over to you. I don't want to hold onto it too tightly, and I trust that if it's mine, you'll give it back to me.

And if it's not, you'll take it away. Friend. Let's continue to practice surrender and see the fruit and life and peace that comes from it. Keep colliding and we'll catch you next week.