Kristin Crockett welcomes Kate Juozaitis, a clinical mental health therapist and women's empowerment coach, to share her journey of personal growth and professional evolution in a heartfelt conversation. Kate recounts her early experiences as a helper, starting with volunteering at the American Lung Association alongside her grandmother. Her path took a transformative turn when she became a firefighter and paramedic at just 17 years old, a decision triggered by a life-altering car accident. This pivotal moment instilled in her a profound sense of purpose: to help others while also healing herself along the way. The discussion delves into the critical concept of 'mother wounds,' a term that Kate uses to describe the deep-rooted issues many women face regarding their relationships with their mothers. Through her coaching, she aims to empower women to recognize and address these wounds, which often manifest as negative self-talk and diminished self-esteem. The conversation highlights how understanding these wounds can foster healing, self-acceptance, and the ability to love oneself without the burden of inherited fears or criticisms.

The episode further explores the theme of fear versus clarity. Kate shares her profound realization of how a traumatic experience stripped her of fear and brought clarity to her life path. This clarity, she explains, allows individuals to swat away fears like annoyances, focusing instead on their courageous destinies. Kristin and Kate emphasize the importance of self-awareness in the journey of self-love and healing, discussing how recognizing and reframing negative self-talk can significantly change one’s life trajectory. They encourage listeners to become observant of their inner dialogues, suggesting that the way one speaks to oneself can either empower or undermine one’s goals. Ultimately, they present a compelling case for the necessity of self-compassion and the active pursuit of understanding one’s purpose, inviting listeners to embark on their own journeys of courageous self-discovery.

Takeaways:

• The journey to self-love involves recognizing and changing negative self-talk patterns that limit our potential.
• Many women experience mother wounds, which can significantly impact their self-esteem and relationships.
• The commitment to personal growth and understanding one's purpose is essential for creating meaningful change.
• Clarity in one's life goals can diminish fear and empower individuals to take bold actions.
• Healthy relationships require vulnerability, open communication, and a willingness to grow together.
• Finding joy and peace in life often means learning to embrace change and discomfort.

About Kate Juozaitis:

Kate is a seasoned relationship and empowerment Clini-coach with over 20 years of experience in helping women gain clarity and make confident decisions whether at the crossroads of their relationships or in life. As the founder of Lift as You Climb Coaching (an homage to her first responder days, Kate blends her 20 years of therapeutic expertise into her coaching approach to guide women through their most intimate and complex challenges, whether revitalizing a current relationship or moving forward independently. Her mission is to empower women to take action quickly, fostering self-efficacy and personal growth, define their values clearly so they can live lives filled with confidence, happiness, unapologetic authenticity and fulfillment. She leaves no woman behind and wants them all to be the hero in their own stories.

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the courageous destiny build a business and life you love podcast.

I am your hostess, Kristen Crockett, and I am so elated to have Kate Uzaitis, clinical mental health therapist and coach, relationship and women's empowerment coach, to talk to me today and help all of you guys get some empowerment and, you know, realize that there might be a different way of looking at the things that you're looking at right now to help move us forward.

Welcome, Kate.

How are you doing?

I am great.

Thank you so much for having me.

Yay.

Wednesday, it's hump day.

Oh, my goodness.

I really want to get right into it and I would love for you to share your story with the audience and how you got into, you know, not just becoming a therapist, but what you're all about as a therapist and as a coach.

Well, that's.

I appreciate the opening into talking about the whole story.

The whole story.

Who is the guy that hears the rest of the story?

I remember growing up listening to my grandparents radio and that was the.

The storyline.

My gosh, Darian just played that the other day too.

I know exactly what you're talk, talking and here's the rest of the story.

And we will date ourselves right now.

So honestly, I've been on a whole life's journey of just knowing and growing, and I would like to call it the flow of my life.

So young I started.

I always was a helper.

I was always a helper.

I started volunteering at a very young age for the American Lung association with my grandmother's stuffing envelopes.

I became a firefighter and a paramedic at 17 years old following a rollover car accident that should have taken my life.

And from there, I just knew that my goal, my purpose in life was to help other people.

And in that also through that journey, helping myself along the way.

So while I had grand plans of going to med school, that wasn't in the cards for me.

I was immediately declined and had to make a quick pivot.

So psychology is where I landed.

And truthfully, it's where I belonged.

That's amazing.

There's never any accidents, right?

No, no.

Well, I mean, there was a accident, but it wasn't necessary.

In your case, there definitely was an accident, but it did guide you forward toward your.

What you're, you know, what you're here.

To do with no fear, which is a very strange thing for me to say.

At 17 years old, when I signed the contract and said I was going to start training and educating in fire science, I did it with absolutely no fear.

Did you have fear prior to that accident?

Yeah, tons.

I mean, I would tell you I was scared of a lot of things, but that moment, everything was very clear.

I knew exactly what I needed to do and I just stepped very honestly forward.

You know, I love that you said that because as soon as that clarity comes, that clarity that you know you won't quit on that, you're so clear about your life.

Fear is more like a mosquito.

Sometimes it rises, you know, sometimes it's annoying and you can swat it away, but it doesn't stop you anymore.

So I love you sharing that.

It's.

It's also sometimes not our own and we have to learn to decipher the distinction between what is our stuff and other people's stuff.

Like a lot of fears I had growing up, really, they were my mom's stuff.

Yes.

You know, it's funny that you say that.

Like, I remember when I was deciding, well, it wasn't really deciding, it was a decision to become a coach.

And I remember telling my mother, and my mother was like, oh my gosh, where's your pension?

How are you going to pay into Medicaid?

Like, what's going to happen?

You know, where's your, where's your insurance going to come from?

Where's this going to come from?

Where's that going to come from?

And I, I'm like, I'm gonna, it's gonna come from.

God's gonna have my back and I know it and I'm gonna figure all that stuff out.

But in the meanwhile, it's not enough to let that fear stop me from doing what I'm, I'm put here to do.

Right?

Knowing your purpose.

Knowing your purpose.

Knowing your courageous destiny.

Woohoo.

Yes.

Give myself a plug.

I'm gonna give myself a plug.

So tell me about how, because you, you are a women's empowerment coach or a relationship coach, what are some of the, the biggest things you help people with?

So a very specific group of women that I like to work with are women with mother wounds.

Okay.

We talk a lot about daddy issues, right?

And we don't talk about mother wounds.

And they are impactful, they're incredibly empower, powerful.

I shouldn't say empowering.

They're power taking and they, they dissolve women's self esteem and really create a foundation for negative self talk.

And we don't want to ever talk bad on moms because I mean, if you've ever been on the receiving end, you only have one mom.

You can't talk bad about her.

And it's like, yeah, but she also only has one of you.

And that's true too.

And regardless, like, moms can be great and they can be nurturing.

Not all moms are though, and that's a reality.

And we can't dismiss that because it's uncomfortable.

And.

And there are moms that become mothers when they're not ready to be moms.

There are moms that are under a lot of existing stress and so they don't have the time or the bandwidth to really be nurturing.

And in today's society, it's more true than ever.

Like, moms are really tired and they're exhausted.

We're not doing anything to help them outside of say you're really tired and exhausted, here's a foundation or a cream that's going to take care of the wrinkles that you have or the bag is under your eyes.

But we're not giving them the real help that they need.

And that filters down then to their children too.

That plays out then in so many aspects of their life.

What is a common.

I have an idea.

But what is a common mother wound that you see?

Critical self talk.

Critical self talk.

Yeah.

Yes.

You know, it's interesting.

One of the things that I love my mom to death.

Mom, if you're listening, I do love you.

But you worry a lot.

My mom worries a lot.

She lives in a state of, of worry that creates anxiety.

And I know that I had picked that up from her, sure, but that, but that self talk piece that you know, everything you know, you know, even with what I do, encourage destiny.

If you want to know why you don't have something, become the observer of the way you're speaking to yourself.

And you're your biggest salesperson.

I love that.

And there's psychology and statistics and everything around that that say 80% of the things that we think are negative.

And on top of that, there's a lack of a definition to understanding the difference between selfishness, selfless, and what ends up being in the between that most people don't know about, which is self love and that self compassion.

And it is positive self talk and knowing the difference between what's your voice and what are other people's voices.

And we vacillate between these two extremes and there's somewhere in between that we can land.

I can't agree more.

And I think that if anybody has ever gone down the journey of, of self love, right, to me, it's an area of life.

It's an area of life.

That it, you know, as far as I'm concerned for my personal right.

Here's.

Here's God.

And then right under that is my self love.

Right?

And if I'm not loving myself, if I'm not honoring myself, then I'm that example for my kids.

That's the example that I bring to the world.

That's the example I bring for my kids, my clients, everybody.

Right.

So it's critical that I'm working on that.

And like you said, 80%.

I love that statistic.

Right.

80% is automatically negative.

And I, you know, and the other part is 95% of the way that we think isn't necessarily conscious to us.

Right.

We're on autopilot.

Right.

That.

That's our anatomy.

So in order to bring something like additional self love or to help you impact that chatter in your mind, it's expanding awareness and putting your focus into creating into self love.

So I love that you see that because I see that as well.

Yeah.

And.

Yes, please.

And rebuilding the neural pathways, right?

Yes.

Like, because that becomes a big part of it.

What we don't recognize, like we're an addictive society.

Like everybody and nobody is.

Nobody is like, free of that.

We are all addicted to something and it could be good or bad, right?

Like everything.

It could be good or bad.

We become addicted to negative behavior.

And that's why it becomes automatic, because we're addicted to it.

I have, I have clients right now and I've asked them.

I was like, I want you to go 24 hours full, full on play full out, 24 hours.

And don't be critical and don't judge and see how you feel and see how you feel.

And I have.

They're hesitant.

They're like, well, why would I do that?

To see how it.

Or they say, I don't judge.

I'm not really doing that.

No, none of them, none of them say that.

They all.

Okay, good.

Here's too.

They all own it.

No, no, no, I do.

I absolutely judge.

And, and when asked, why do you do that?

What's the purpose?

How does it serve you?

Right?

Because you have to understand that we have to do critical thinking.

I do it so people don't do it to me.

So I judge outside so people don't do it to me.

I'm like, that doesn't make any sense.

Say it out loud.

I'll say it back to you.

It's fine.

But it doesn't make any sense.

I create harm and discord and chaos in my life so that somebody Else doesn't do it to me.

No, you just did it to yourself, and it doesn't make any sense.

So if you stop the addiction, because that's what you're addicted to, you're addicted to the chaos.

If you stop that, Right.

And actively work against the natural inclination to do what you've always done, you will feel strange.

That's the first one I tell them it's going to feel weird.

You're going to be like, oh, outside.

Of their comfort zone.

And it's like being a toddler again.

Yes.

Hey, go ahead and change the way you think today.

Yeah, it's definitely like learning how to walk again, 100%.

And that's how we redirect the neural pathways to having a much better life.

Yes, yes.

Into.

You know, one of the things I'm always sharing with my clients is in that process, as you're practicing new ways of thinking, new ways of action.

Right?

Because we want to align action to self love and align action to, you know, the ways that we think.

You know, you can align action by creating, you know, those.

I like to call them courageous destiny declarations.

But it's like an acclaim, you know, it's like an affirmation, but more specific to whatever that chatter is in your mind.

Right.

And the opposite, that would actually lead you forward toward the things that you want.

And if you practice those enough, there's multiple ways to practice it.

Over time, it becomes the new norm.

And you train your unconscious mind to have that be the autopilot.

That's when things get natural and instinctive, and you look around your life and you're like, oh, my gosh, this is easy, and this is easy now.

And I don't even know where this popped out.

And it's because you're retraining yourself and you're going down that journey.

And, you know, I.

I'm so glad that you brought that up because, like, going back to the analogy of a toddler learning how to walk, you know, if we're not going to tell him, hey, you know what?

You just are no good at this.

Why don't you quit?

You're gonna push them back down and be like, that's fine, stay there.

Like, you don't need to ever learn.

I'll carry you for life.

I'll carry for life.

But it's.

But if you give yourself the grace and allow yourself, like, recognize, like, hey, I'm relearning the way that I think, and that's a courageous thing to do, and that's okay.

Right.

And I'm going to be fascinated when I see how many times that pops in.

You know, the awfulizing.

My awful, my awfulizations from day.

I like, I like that, I like that.

The awfulizations.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah, it's.

I have a number of clients, I have them doing it.

So it'll be interesting.

They get a check in today, like, hey, how's that going?

It's like the whole, the whole world isn't always so bad.

I live in the same world you do and I don't see the same things.

And again, part of it is like I don't look for it.

Yeah, yeah.

You don't focus on it when whatever you folk am always saying.

Right.

And I've learned it and it's a very difficult thing to learn.

It's an easy thing to hear because we hear it, I feel like we hear it a lot now.

But it could be the world that I'm in.

You get what you think about.

If you focus on it, it grows, you know, all of those different types of sayings and everybody's like, yeah, I know, I know, I know.

But put it to practice.

Put your money where your mind is.

Exactly.

It's not easy to do and it's.

Well, it is easy to do once you commit to doing it.

Yeah, you've got to commit to doing it.

You've got to commit to changing your mindset.

You've got to commit to going down the journey.

Right.

That's where people self sabotage is because they get all tied up in the well, what if, don't worry about that.

You'll get there.

When you get there, you can create a pivot whenever you get to that.

What if you can't plan for them?

Just start the steps.

It's a baby step at a time and the next thing you know, you are running.

It's so true.

I remember when I was going to be a coach, you know, I decided to make the leap from corporate America and I was a sales executive for years and years and I remember talking to my mentor and I asked her, I said, okay, how long is this going to take me real, you know, be really straight with me.

Like, how long is it going to take me to, you know, learn what I need to learn?

Have clients be able to be paid and replace an income.

You got to tell me how long it's going to take because if I don't know how long it's going to take, then I'm not going to be able to, to do this.

And she's like, well, it's up to you.

You know, it could take you a week, it could take you a year, it could take you 10 years.

It could never happen.

And it's your free will.

And that always stuck with me.

I'm my what if?

Yeah.

Right.

We create the.

They're called upper limits.

They're upper limiting beliefs.

Right.

And.

And we create them.

Some of them are imposed upon us and we were taught them know through childhood, and we didn't know what they were.

And we.

Sometimes people still don't know what they are, and they're the things that we don't want to confront.

Because if I confront that, then what?

Well, I get two choices.

Ultimate happiness and joy.

Or I get to stay where I'm comfortable.

Right.

And nobody wants.

I mean, they all say it.

I don't want to be where I'm comfortable because it's.

Truthfully, it's uncomfortable and nobody really wants to be there, but it's.

Sorry, it's effing easy.

That almost came completely out of my mouth.

But it's okay.

Okay, good.

I'm real, and I'm real about it.

I want you to be real.

It's the Courageous Destiny podcast.

Like, we could be real, but it is.

It's.

It's just easy, and that's what people lean into.

Easy does not mean happy.

Easy does not mean joy.

Actually, it's the antithesis of that.

Like, happy and joy comes from those breakthroughs.

It comes from making the.

The declaration.

I choose that.

And I'm not going to let anything stand in my way of getting there.

Including me?

Yes.

When people.

People say to me, I'm unstoppable.

I am creating myself as unstoppable.

And I.

I cheer them on, of course.

You know, hell yes.

But I understand what, what that means.

You know, it's not just, I'm running a race, so I'm going to be unstoppable.

Or I'm right.

It means, like when you get a limit.

Like when somebody says, I'm limitless, or, you know, that's that word.

That's such a cool word.

Yeah.

And I believe that people are limitless.

And all it is is not letting the limits stop us from building and designing our lives the way we want them to be.

A life worth living.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Or a courageous destiny.

But it's so true.

It's like.

And it all.

It all starts with that chatter in our mind.

It all starts there because that's what's making our arms and our feet move.

Right?

Right.

You know, I remember you had said something a little while back about joy, that people, they have a fear of the unknown.

And if somebody doesn't know what it's like to be happy, or somebody doesn't know what it's like to feel joy, then they don't have a habit of feeling joy and they don't have a habit of feeling healthy or feeling happy.

Even though that's what they want.

They sabotage themselves because it's not, it's, it's very unfamiliar feeling to them.

So.

And there's a, there's research in psychology around that.

Tell me.

So because we've become a society where we shut down feelings, right?

They're.

They're meaningless, they're purposeless.

You're not allowed to feel that way.

Why?

Well, because it makes me uncomfortable or I don't know how to help you through that.

That's a parenting thing.

I don't know how to help you through that because maybe I'm not doing that right.

And now, now we've created a shame cycle.

And like, for kids, really, it's just really important to like, just co regulate with them.

They just want to know that you're not going to abandon them, that they get to have their feelings.

And it might be confusing to both of you.

Guess what?

That's okay.

So we started moving society away from recognizing our feelings are truthfully, intuition.

It's just information.

The information is purposeful to create pivots in our life.

Right.

You feel depressed.

Why?

Well, that means that something in your life is, is not in alignment, causes you discomfort.

Right.

It causes a feeling.

The feeling is information.

To do what?

Change.

Change isn't meant to be bad.

Change is purposeful.

Right.

But we have to.

We're here to evolve.

We're here to change.

Right.

And learn and grow.

We're not meant to again, hit that upper limit and just be ordinary.

We're all meant to be extraordinary.

Yes.

But when we put those limits right, we've created those rules of this is how it has to look and everything else.

Like we've now entered into our ego and just our head.

And we try to attack everything in life from an intellectual perspective.

We're not.

I mean, that's what makes the human being human and uniquely beautiful, is that we get both logic and feelings as well as an intuition to guide us.

Absolutely.

You know, I do a lot of work with people to open up their heart and to learn to hear what their heart is saying.

Because to me, that's where my true self lies.

That's where my authenticity Is.

It's in my heart.

It's not.

It doesn't live in my head, but I need my heart.

My head to stop closing off my heart.

Yes.

So I can't tell you the psychology necessarily all around that, but I can tell you that if you're thinking in such a way that's disempowering to you, that you can't get what you want, that nobody loves you, that there's, you know, and you're thinking in a disempowering way, it closes off your heart, and that's.

That's that kind of sadness and that, you know, that Des.

You know, kind of that.

That place where that's not how you necessarily.

Or at least how I want to feel.

Right.

Right.

But we do get a habit of feeling that way.

But if we can get to the point where we really open up and practice loving and figure out what that looks like for us, because it's a journey for everybody.

Right.

What opens up my heart might not open up your heart.

Right.

But if I go down that journey to understand how I get that loving feeling, right, that heart opening, I can train my brain not to close it off.

Our.

Our heart's intention is to hurt and to heal.

I.

I mean, I do say it a lot.

I'm.

I'm like, if you have not hurt, you have not loved nor lived.

Yeah.

You have to.

It's a contrast, but it is.

It is the part that hurts, but it is also the part that heals.

And it can do both.

Two things can exist in the same space, literally in this case, and we have to be open to both.

You have to be open to hurting.

That's living.

And you have to be open to healing.

That's loving.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

I remember when I was looking to.

It was very hard to get a divorce.

I know that everybody probably would say that.

Right.

But it can be.

It can be difficult to get a divorce.

The decision can be difficult, especially if there's not a, you know, like a trauma that's associated, you know, so in my situation, there was no trauma.

He wasn't a bad person.

You know, we just weren't in love.

We had evolved into a friendship over time.

And I didn't want to get divorced because I didn't.

I felt like this is.

This is when you bring on other people and kind of the world that I had to hate him in order to divorce him.

Oh, God.

Right.

So.

And I found that through the work that I do.

Right.

It's not like I.

You know, I had that conscious thought.

But I did some work and some journaling and I could see that about myself.

And I'm like, no, I don't have to hate him.

I can actually still love him.

I can still honor him as a friend and I can still remove myself from the situation.

Love can transition.

It doesn't have to transition to hate.

Right.

Just transition.

Like we can still love people and not have them in our life the way they were.

We can still love people and even through breakups.

I mean, I'm not married, not divorced, but I, I've told, I, I've told exes, I'm like, I will still love you.

It'll just be different just because I have given you a part of my heart and love and my, my being in time and energy and memories and everything.

I don't stop loving you.

I just have to choose to love you differently.

And that doesn't equate to hate and.

Not give ourselves up in the process.

Yes.

I always choose my peace.

Yes.

Yes.

Very good, very good.

Well, you are, I know you have a lot of expertise in this area into relationships.

Yes.

And I would love to find out from you what, what is, what are a few pieces of advice.

Right.

Or, or coaching that you want to make sure that you give somebody who's struggling in a relationship.

It's like this.

I'm going to make a very sad thing right now.

A sad statement is, and this is reality time wise right now.

This is the time most people are sealing the deal on committing to divorce.

The most divorces are filed January, the first Monday in January past the holidays.

Really?

Yes, absolutely.

That, that is, that is a statistical fact.

It is incredibly sad.

They've all white knuckled it through the holidays.

Ah, yes.

And, and so the best advice, like it takes two people with 100 commitment and it takes to, with each person having 100%.

They have to own their responsibility and their accountability in the relationship and things, things really can be worked out.

I have, I have a couple I've recently worked with that came in.

They're like hell bent we're going to get divorced.

We are in session seven and their relationship has done such a 180.

Like divorce isn't even on the, on the table at all anymore.

They've actually stated how much they didn't recognize that they could love each other.

Right.

And like January, I mean literally January 6th, which is the first Monday of this year, was their D day.

And I was just like, let's give it a shot and see what magic we can do if there's just this much a shot glass full of hope.

Anything can change with commitment.

I love that you say, and we've mentioned a few times now, anything can change.

Whether it's your relationships, whether it is your bank account, whatever that thing is commitment.

You need to actually commit and not.

I have a.

I have a very formal, very technical statement that I use all the time in my coaching.

Do you want to hear what it is?

Love it.

Don't whiffle waffle.

You can't be dancing with one foot in and one foot out.

No, you can't.

No, no.

And I'm so glad that people actually know what that means, because I know that's my dad and me.

He's like, let's go to Finertners.

And I'm like, okay, we'll go to Menards.

But it was.

It was.

But you can't wiffle waffle if you.

I remember being in.

It was actually landmark, and there was a gentleman that had stood up at one point and he said, we need to commit.

And you can commit one of two ways.

You can, you know, so on.

He was using the analogy of a breakfast plate.

Right.

You can commit like the chicken, but the chicken can lay another egg tomorrow.

Or you can commit like the pig.

His ass is on the plate.

Right.

Ass is on the line.

That always stuck with me.

I'm like, do I think I can lay another egg tomorrow?

Do I think that.

You know.

Because sometimes we commit to things, but we're not all in.

No.

You have to learn how to play full out.

Yeah.

And if you have a percentage of you that is all in, that's probably the percentage of the fulfillment and the results that you achieve.

If you really look at it, it's measurable.

Sure.

Absolutely.

So it makes sense that when you get two people committed to doing the work and even just creating the possibility that they don't have to get divorced, like, maybe there's another way when we start.

I know for me, I really needed to look at what was my responsibility in it.

And a lot of the times my responsibility came down to just my idea of what a healthy, happy relationship was, which was basically like a Hallmark movie.

I don't always know that they do us all that good.

No.

It's a beautiful fantasy, though.

I know.

They always look like Long Grove.

Yeah.

Like, it's so nice, you know?

And they wake up in a different pair of Christmas pajamas every day with their hair fully done and their makeup on.

And reality.

Yeah.

I'm like, they just ran out of the house.

And somehow they're perfectly coiffed.

But it's, it's, it's not reality.

And I had to take responsibility for that.

And I kept picturing him doing exactly what I thought he would do.

Yeah.

But that's my perspective, not his.

And so I think that communication in a couple is so important.

You, you have to be willing to be vulnerable.

Right.

Because people talk all the time about how they want connection and yet they skim across the surface.

Like, connection is depth, connection is vulnerability.

Connection is.

Truthfully, it's uncomfortable.

Right.

Because it is all of those things that we've created a verbal train around of fear.

Like, oh, I can't share that.

Why not?

Yeah, why not?

And most people can't answer that question when I ask them why not?

Because it's your stuff and they don't.

See what's in you.

How do they know how to behave with you?

Navigate with you, problem solve with you, Compliment you?

All of those things.

Like you were, you weren't born perfect.

Sorry your mom and dad lied to you.

Right.

And you definitely haven't been running the perfect train since.

So, like, knock it off.

Like Bob Newhart would say.

Stop it.

Oh my gosh.

You just quoted my very, very favorite, very, very favorite little six minute skit I've had to watch a thousand times.

Perfect, by the way, for anybody retraining their brain.

Stop it.

Just stop it.

I'll put that link in our show notes.

But it's, it's, I really do find that it's that expectation that I need to be responsible for.

Right.

I'm, I'm in control of my expectations, I'm in control of my actions, my reactions and my motivations.

So I need to be, you know, if I'm open minded, you know, what I've learned over the years in this area, you know, now that I'm in a working relationship.

Right.

And it's not perfect.

No means.

But I love the person he is and I love the way he thinks and I love how he thinks very differently than me.

So instead of looking at that as a threat like I might have in the past, I look at it like as a huge asset.

Yeah, yeah.

Because he's teaching that's like the whole point of a relationship and is Right.

To get us somewhere.

Ships are meant to get us somewhere.

And in that process, we grow, we learn.

Relationships, partnerships, they're all vessels to get us somewhere.

Friendships.

Yes.

I love that analogy.

I'm so glad you brought it up.

You know, when we, I'll just tell my audience we did another recording.

And it was brilliant.

Kate was brilliant.

And then I couldn't hear her for whatever reason on the recording.

And so I think it had to do with us needing to do this today.

Divine guide lighting.

Yep.

But I love that you said that about the ships, because we often think that.

We often think that we're supposed to.

Like, I used to think that it.

It was.

It's a ship that takes me to joy.

That takes me to this blissful kind of place, right?

Well, no, not really.

It takes me to my evolution as a person.

And when you look at it like that, not like it has to be all unicorns and rainbows.

It really gives you a lot of freedom to be you and to be your authentic self.

But it also left space for them to.

And a safe place for them to be themselves.

Yes.

All true.

And sometimes ships go through hurricanes.

That's right.

You still get to where you need to go.

You do.

You do.

Oh, I love talking to you.

Okay, so the time goes by fast.

So I wanna.

I ask everybody on my show, what is the most courageous thing that you've ever done?

Oh, so you did this to me the last time.

And I'll.

I'll stand on it.

I like the.

The most courageous thing I have done was.

Was to show up for my mom in her last moments to help her pass with peace.

We did not.

I am what I coach.

So I am a woman with a mother wound that needed healing, and I needed to show up for her and get the apology that I truly deserved in the last moment.

Wow.

Wow.

That she got peace.

And that was a gift for both of us.

You know, And I don't need to hear the specifics of your story to feel the energy of that and how powerful that is.

So thank you for sharing.

Thank you.

And what is the most courageous thing left for you to do on your bucket list?

What if.

I don't know because it hasn't shown up yet.

I think that's okay.

You know what?

I don't know.

It doesn't have to be the most.

It could be in the top five, if that helps open the door.

I have recognized I'm being called to do and be more than I think I've given myself credit to do and be.

And recently it has been to do public speaking.

And I do have some big feelings around it.

It is nervousness and excitement at the same time.

And I think me navigating and figuring out how to do that and what that looks like is the next thing that I need to figure out.

All right, well, you know that public speaking can be people's number one fear.

Number one fear.

And, and I think you're.

You are a number one warrior.

So I know you'll make your way.

It's fine.

I'm not afraid to talk.

That's not my issue.

I think it's the.

How do you find the people that are willing to listen?

They're everywhere.

They're everywhere.

They're everywhere.

I.

Hopefully, then I will navigate that path next.

All right, well, I have some things I'll speak to you about offline, where that's concerned, and some different resources for you.

For everybody who's listening today, you can find Kate.

We're going to go ahead and post her link in the show notes.

So if you want to reach out to Kate, please, please do so.

You know, she is a brilliant therapist, a brilliant coach, and just a phenomenal human being.

Thank you so much, Kate, for being on my podcast today.

Is there any last bits of wisdom you want to make sure that the listeners of this episode here.

I.

Well, one, I want to thank you.

I, I'm, I'm ever so grateful that your energy drew us together in an unfamiliar place for me, and I'm.

I, I appreciate divine intervention.

Awesome.

So thank you.

My honor.

My honor.

Well, thank you so much.

And thank you, everybody, for listening.

Until next time, live courageously.