Do you ever wonder why you give up on some goals, and others you don't? What is it that leads to getting bored or burned out by your goals? In this episode, Dr Demartini shares practical steps on how to realign with your goals and their timeframes, and the importance of setting goals from your authentic self to increase your ability to achieve your desired outcomes.

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You won't set too big a goal in too short a timeframe or too small a goal in too

long a timeframe, you'll set real goals in real timeframes.

Today I'm gonna talk about how to not give up when progress is slow.

So I know many people are sitting in situations where they have a goal to get

something done and it's taken longer than you expect.

So if you've got a paper and pencil or someplace to write or type you might

wanna take a few notes. First of all,

I'd like you to realize that there's,

inside a human being, there is the authentic self,

which is our true self,

and then there is our inflated self,

which we go into sometimes puff ourself up and get a little pride,

and our deflated self,

where we kind of deflate ourselves and get kind of shameful almost, or humble,

and these two personas on either side

of our true nature, true authentic self,

tend to skew and distort the goals and objectives that

we strive for. Sometimes fantasies we strive for.

They're a result of a judgment

because when we look down on somebody, we tend to exaggerate ourselves,

when we look up at somebody we tend to minimize ourself,

and any time we exaggerate or minimize ourselves,

we distort time and space in our goals.

So I want you to think about it this way, and maybe you can write this down.

Whenever you set a goal,

if you're puffed up and elated and inflated and cocky and self

righteous and puffed up with pride,

you tend to set too big a goal in too short a timeframe.

Which is designed,

because of the subjected bias in your interpretation of your reality,

is designed to humble you - pride before the fall.

So what you do you set a goal, it's not happening in the timeframe, you

over extended yourself and thought, 'well,

I could get it done' and you didn't get it done and then you kind of beat

yourself up and you humble yourself. The purpose of that is not a mistake,

it's not a weakness,

it's a feedback to you that you set too big a goal in too short a timeframe

without the proper strategies on how to get it done.

It's not that it couldn't be done possibly in that time,

but you didn't have the manpower or the resources or the strategies to get it

done in that time. Or you didn't have the drive,

it wasn't as important as you thought it was. Whatever the thing,

or you have things that are more important that surfaced in your mind.

But when you tend to set goals in a manic state,

this is why going to hype seminars that are hype speakers

that hype you up and get you all puffed up with fantasies,

and you then have a crash afterwards because you set a goal that's too big in

too short a timeframe. So I'm not here to teach that.

In the Breakthrough Experience program that I've been teaching all these years,

I try to help people get poised and present and authentic,

cause that's where they set real goals in real time frames.

So anytime you puff yourself up, get elated, get puffed up, get proud,

you are very likely to set a goal that's too big in too short a timeframe,

without the strategy. And that is designed to humble you.

So then you end up beat yourself up go, 'by now I thought I'd be'.

But on the other side of the personas,

where we minimize ourselves,

we tend to set too small a goals in too long a timeframe,

cuz we deflate ourselves and depreciate ourselves and don't believe in ourselves

and are less confident in ourselves,

so we tend to minimize ourselves and minimize what we can accomplish in

timeframes. But we set too small a goal in too long a timeframe,

which means we usually accomplish it within that timeframe.

So then that lifts us back up.

Every one of our goals that we've set from those personas,

the exaggerated or minimized persona,

are feedback mechanisms to get us to set real goals in real timeframes,

with real strategies.

So if we set too big a goal and we get humbled that calms us down back into real

goals in real timeframes.

And if we set too small a goal in too long a timeframe, that makes us succeed,

which lifts us up again.

Both are mechanisms to guide us back into authenticity. In fact,

everything that's going on in your life, if you really,

really wanna look carefully,

you'll see that it's guiding you back to authenticity.

It's guiding you back to your true self,

where you set real goals in real time frames.

Whenever you puff yourself up with that persona and look down on people,

you also tend to want to expect them to live in your values, which is futile.

So that's a feedback to let you know that you're puffing yourself up,

you don't have equanimity and equity with other people and you have an

unrealistic expectation on others.

And a lot of the goals we have are not just us not accomplishing things,

we sometimes expect other people to do things in the timeframe and then they

don't do it because we projected onto them our values and expected them to live

in our values and they can't live in our values, so they're gonna let us down.

And that is necessary to humble us from our pride,

to make sure we communicate what we want in terms of their values,

so they have just as much incentive to get it done.

And by being who we really are, we set real goals with real time frames.

And then do it respectfully in terms of other people's values.

So every thing that's going on in our business, in our life,

is a feedback to make sure we go back to authenticity.

It's really quite amazing how the body works and the mind works, life works.

At the same time, if we sit down and minimize ourselves and

expect ourselves to live in other people's values,

we're automatically going to set up an unrealistic expectation too,

because we're not gonna be able to live in their values.

We're gonna end up further depreciating ourselves.

We can't live in other people's values.

We can't get others to live in our values,

but we can communicate what we value in terms of other people's values, and

help other people get what they want,

which then turns around and helps us get what we want.

So if you're setting an objective,

and I'd like to think of an objective as a neutral, balanced,

authentic goal,

and a fantasy is one that's subjectively biased, not objective, but subjective,

biased, skewed. You know, Einstein said something really,

really profound years ago.

He said that when you're kissing a girlfriend and you're elated and manic,

two hours flies by, you know, bam like that, like two minutes.

But when you're waiting for a freight train, two minutes seems like two hours.

So whenever you're not in your authentic self and you're elated or

depressed or manic or depressed or puffed or deflated, anytime we do,

we distort our perceptions of time and set unrealistic timeframes.

And this sets us up, sets us up,

for unrealistic expectations on getting things done,

with ourselves or other people.

That's why all of those are feedback mechanisms,

trying to get us back to loving individuals, respecting individuals,

communicating in their values, our values in terms of their values.

Which is exactly what I teach in the Breakthrough

values training program. I do what I can to help people do that.

Cuz what that does is helps people set realistic expectations in real times with

real strategies, et cetera.

Anytime you're living by your highest value where you're most objective,

the blood glucose oxygen goes into the forebrain and activates the executive

center where you can see it vision,

you can actually strategically plan, you can execute the plans,

and you're gonna walk your talk in your highest values cuz that's where you

don't let yourself down. And you calm down these subjective biases.

That's what that part of the brain does.

It calms down the amygdala where all the subjective biases and all the sources

of our turmoil is.

The moment we end up setting real goals in real timeframes,

that are really aligned with the highest values,

we tend to spontaneously act and we tend to get things done by priority.

The most any human being can do is live by the highest priority at any moment in

time. One of the greatest questions you can ever ask yourself,

what is the highest priority action I can do right now to fulfill what's most

deeply meaningful to me at this moment?

And how do I do it most effectively and efficiently?

So I'm doing the highest priority action. If you do,

you will set realistic expectations. You will get things done.

You won't subjectively bias yourself with puffing yourself up and beating

yourself up.

You won't set too big a goal in too short a timeframe or too small a goal in too

long a timeframe, you'll set real goals in real timeframes.

And what I would advise, is whenever you're setting objectives and goals,

and you have long term or short term goals, write down the date you set them,

write down the date you intend to accomplish it.

And then as you're pursuing them, monitor and measure the progress.

If you're on track,

it's probably because you set an authentic goal and it's aligned with your

highest values.

If you're not on track and you're not getting started or you're taking longer or

you're getting it done faster than you do, you probably had a different persona,

log those and take a record of when you actually accomplish it.

If you accomplished it before what you thought,

that's most likely your minimized self setting a goal.

And if you took longer than you expect,

is probably your exaggerated self setting a goal.

Or you set a goal that wasn't really important,

you had a lot of other stuff on your plate that you weren't thinking was

important but is more important to you. Or you had things that came up,

and if so,

the reality of life is there's times great opportunities come up that are even

higher in priority than what the goal was you set.

And then you don't wanna beat yourself up if you're delayed on the goal because

you took and chose to do something more important. And that's understandable.

I have sometimes goals that I'm on my path on I'm making progress on,

things are on track, and then some great opportunity comes along and I say, 'oh,

that's even more important than this.' So I'm prioritizing my life.

I get that next priority thing done.

I then delay my long term outcome that I set. And,

I then now readjust the timeframes on it, now it's realistic. Again,

it's not realistic if you all of a sudden have something that's more important.

So you just gotta get realistic on your expectations.

A lot of our let downs are because of unrealistic expectations.

And those come whenever we're living in our amygdala,

you can almost guarantee that if you're not living by the highest priority,

your blood glucose and oxygen goes in the amygdala and you start activating from

the amygdala and the amygdala wants to avoid pain and seek pleasure,

and that's not real, cuz there's always pain and pleasure in life.

And whenever you do that, you're going to subjectively bias your interpretation,

you're gonna distort your reality,

you're gonna set goals that are too fast or too slow.

And then you're gonna get feedback to hone you back in on authenticity again.

So one of the wisest things to do is if you have a goal,

make sure it's really, really important to you. Go back.

If you haven't taken the time to go on my website and do the value determination

process,

I highly recommend you take the time to go do the value determination process

that's on the site, Dr Demartini value determination on dr.demartin.com.

Do that exercise,

go look at what's really highest on your values and make sure you set goals that

are aligned with that.

I tell people in my Master Planning program and other programs I teach,

don't waste your time on goals that aren't truly, truly, truly,

absolutely highest in priority and meaningful to you. Because if you do,

you're automatically gonna set yourself up to train yourself,

to have these volatilities and these wobbling feelings about it.

You're gonna exaggerate or minimize yourself.

And those are all symptoms to let you know that you're not pursuing what's

really authentically most important in your life. Again,

all the symptoms in your life are trying to get you authentic and trying to get

you in priority, trying to get you to live by your highest value,

which I call the telos. The telos is the highest value,

the most important thing that you wanna pursue in life.

And if you're not delegating lower priority things that

here. If you're trying to do low priority things,

because you set a goal and the goal encompasses

values, you're gonna automatically procrastinate, hesitate and frustrate.

Anything that's not inspiring to do,

it's wise to outsource and get somebody to delegate it to and get on with doing

it what's priority. Cause if you're not doing what's priority,

you're not gonna maximize, you're gonna set skewed objectives.

You're gonna end up having to procrastinate, hesitate,

I love business, but the part I love about business is the researching, writing,

and teaching. I don't necessarily like doing some of the administrative,

I wouldn't want sit there and have to do accounting and things of this nature.

So I'm business oriented, but in my little niche.

So I target that and I focus on what's highest and I delegate the rest.

If I try to do all those things, chaos ensues,

and I'll set unrealistic expectations and I won't get things done because I'll

procrastinate,

hesitate and frustrate on it because it's not really important to me.

What's important to me is what I do.

So you wanna make sure that you really know yourself and willing to be yourself

and you'll love yourself for it,

because that's what's really priority in your life. So stop.

Go do the value determination process, go make sure you're up to date with it.

Make sure it's really what's important.

Make sure the goals you're setting are not whims and fantasies and new

year's resolution type things that are just delusions, temporarily.

Make sure it's so meaningful that your life demonstrates you're committed to it.

Don't waste your time on low priority things. Don't major in minor stuff.

Go after what's most important in your life and then delegate everything else.

And you probably think, 'Well,

I can't afford to delegate.' I hear that every week almost.

You can't afford not to.

Cuz if you're not delegating lower priority things and

yourself, you're gonna not have a life of inspiration.

You need to surround yourself with people that are experts doing the things that

need to be done that are not inspiring to you.

And then go out and do something that's so meaningful that produces an income.

That leads to another point here.

If you're going and pursuing what's most important to you,

you're not gonna have fulfillment in life unless you're doing something that's

meaningful that serves other people.

I've been studying people and I find that people that go and pursue goals that

have no meaning that don't serve anybody, are not gonna have fulfillment.

Your fulfillment in life is a combination of the integration of self-other

fulfillment, helping yourself, help other people, help yourself.

It's not altruistic where you're sacrificing others.

It's not narcissist where you're sacrificing others for you.

It's a combination of the two where fair exchange,

you have reflective awareness,

you see that other people are equal to you and you're there to be of service,

in a sustainable fair exchange.

If you do that and you do something you really love to do that,

you can't wait to get up in the morning and be of service to it,

people can't wait to get your service.

When that's a fair exchange and a fair service, you'll get remunerated for it,

you'll get income, you'll be able to afford to delegate lower priority things.

That's the path of inspiration. I do what I love,

love what I do - that's the way you wanna live your life.

It's not gonna happen if you're not doing the highest priority thing,

that's most inspiring to you that's deeply meaningful that serves people.

Ask yourself,

what's the highest priority thing that I could do that I absolutely love doing

and how do I serve great numbers of people with it?

How can I get handsomely and beautifully paid to do it?

What are the highest priority actions today I can do right now to move in that

direction and live by priority? If you do,

you will be more objective, set more goals to get more accomplished,

it's sufficient.

I learned from The Time Trap by Alec MacKenzie when I was 27 years old,

about how important it is to prioritize your life,

to make a list of everything you're doing and prioritize it based on

productivity, how much it earns and meaning.

That means it's something that serves others and meaning,

something that serves you.

And then to make sure you hire somebody to do the lower priority things so

you're free to do the most important things to produce the most income.

If you do, you'll make more income, you'll be free of the lower priority things,

you'll have more meaning and fulfillment, you'll serve more people,

and life is pretty amazing when you do that.

But otherwise you're sitting there doing lower priority things going into your

amygdala. The second you do low priority things, your amygdala comes online.

You're going to subjectively bias your interpretations.

You're gonna set too big or too small a goal.

You're gonna expect others to live in your values.

You're gonna expect you to live in other people's values.

You're gonna end up creating chaos and all that chaos is feedback to let you

know you're being inauthentic. It's trying to get you to live by your,

everything going on in your life is trying to get you to live by your highest

value and try to help you serve other people in their highest value.

And to the degree that you do, you're engaged and inspired.

That's how you build companies. That's how you build leadership.

That's how you reduce the noise in your brain.

That's how you end up with more income.

That's how you have more stable relationships.

That's how you have better wellbeing and wellness.

Cuz when you're pursuing something that inspires you,

that's solving a problem for other people, you wake up your eustress,

not distress. That's how you're inspired,

that's how your spiritual path is awakened.

It's just really obvious that the life is actually pointing you into

authenticity. And so that's the key of it.

So keep asking yourself, go online,

do the value determination process and narrow down,

I don't care if you have to do it once or twice or three times,

do it again and again until you are clear, 'This is what I'm committed to.'

This is what my mission is.

Your purpose in life and mission in life is an expression of what you value

most. And an individual on a mission is unstoppable,

and they get way more done in a shorter period of time than anybody else.

I've been living by my mission for 49 years and I'm getting lot done

because of it.

And I delegate a lot of things and I've generated income doing that.

And I've served millions of people doing that.

And I'm absolutely certain it works.

So if you take this advice and you put it in operation and start working towards

it, maybe it takes a a day or a week or a few months to get it all in place,

finding the right people, getting the delegations in place.

But if you wanna master achievement and get more done and do it in a

timeframe that's reasonable, that you set out for, that's gonna be the path.

I don't know of shortcuts other than that, I think that's the bottom line.

And many people think that they're gonna do it some other way, but,

it's strategically planning things with foresight that are truly valuable,

that have thought through with planning.

One of the reasons I teach my Master Planning program is for people to have

foresight, not have to live in hindsight. Hindsight is inefficient.

Foresight is very efficient.

But by focusing on that and getting it basically done on the highest priority

actions, on a daily basis.

You know Bill Gates was asked, you know,

one time in an interview and you know, whats his day consist of?

And he asked himself a very simple question, at least

this video, he asked,

what is the highest priority action I could today to serve the greatest number

of people in the most efficient and effective manner with the resources I have

access to at this moment? Wow.

Stick to that priority system and watch what happens.

If you prioritize what you feed your mind, reading,

if you prioritize what you listen to, if you prioritize what you eat,

if you prioritize who you hang out with, if you prioritize your actions,

you prioritize your time, prioritize your space - you're

going to go farther in life, get more accomplished in life, than if you don't.

There's no shortcut to that. That's the bottom line. I learned that at 27,

it's made a huge difference in my life.

I've got a lot accomplished because of that.

And I'm just passing that on to you. I'm absolutely certain it works.

It's just a matter of taking the time to do it.

But if you don't and you do low priority things and you set unrealistic

expectations because of those biases and you set too big a goal in too short a

timeframe or too small a goal in too long a timeframe,

all you're gonna do is get feedback from the universe and your life,

that you're not being authentic.

You're not being true to what's really valuable to you.

Your identity revolves around your highest value.

So anytime you're away from your highest value, you're gonna lose your identity.

And you're going to self depreciate, you are designed,

we are designed to self depreciate anytime we're living by anything other than

our highest value. We're gonna appreciate ourself,

anytime we live in our highest value,

the blood glucose and oxygen goes to the forebrain.

And that forebrain is not only the executive center for achievement,

it's also the gratitude center.

You're gonna have more gratitude if you're living by your highest value than if

you live in any other value. So you want to ask yourself,

what is the highest priority action I can be doing today?

What's the highest priority goal? What's truly important?

What does my life demonstrate? My life demonstrates teaching,

researching and writing. I do it every single day.

Nobody has to remind me to do it. I'm committed to it.

If I go around and I set a goal to go and cook, I'm gonna let myself down,

I'm gonna procrastinate, hesitate and frustrate. If I set a goal to go drive,

I'm gonna procrastinate, hesitate and frustrate.

If I set a goal to go do accounting or do administrative work,

I'm gonna procrastinate, hesitate and frustrate.

If I set a goal to do that and I set this whim that way and I let myself down,

I'm getting feedback that that's not who I am. That's not authentic.

And if I'm sitting there going 'Well, I have no choice.

And I trap myself cuz I don't have anybody to do it.' Well,

then get somebody to do it.

Cuz otherwise you're going to have a life of desperation,

not a life of inspiration. A life of inspiration is living by priority,

delegating lower priorities and giving job opportunities.

You're rewarded in life by giving job opportunities to other people,

giving them an opportunity to grow in their life. If they get to do,

if you hire somebody that can do what it is you want to delegate and they love

doing it, they've got a job opportunity.

You're free to do more productive things to make more income,

pay the difference, extract surplus labor value out of their work.

They now help the economy cuz the more people working,

we can see when all of a sudden there's unemployment there's problems,

more crime, more drug issues, more addictions, more health issues.

It's so important for doing it.

I think the universe is trying to help us fulfill growing culture.

I believe that somehow the universe is set up,

the physics and the metaphysics of it is trying to help evolution of

consciousness.

And consciousness grows by basically being contributive and doing something

meaningful and serving people.

So by providing jobs and helping the economy and giving them an opportunity and

freeing ourselves up to do what's most meaningful and most inspiring and most

objective, we're gonna set real goals in real timeframe, get 'em done.

We'll more people helping us. We'll get even more accomplished.

Everybody wins out of this.

And it gives them an opportunity to do the same in their executive center.

So they're grateful. You're grateful. You're both engaged.

You're doing something prioritized. You getting things done. Magic occurs.

So go back to our first question.

How do you not give up on when you're making progress when it seems slow?

If you're giving up, it's not important to you. It's that simple.

It's not important. Face the fact. And that's a feedback right there.

If you're giving up on something, it means it's not really important to you.

If you think you failed, then what you're giving, you gave up on it.

And that means you stopped before you got, come up with it, an answer.

When the why is big enough the how's take care of themselves,

you find solutions or you delegate.

So just make sure that you're not setting goals that aren't meaningful.

Make sure you're not sitting goals that are low in priority that aren't yours.

See, this is why I take people,

I teach people to come to the Breakthrough Experience.

In The Breakthrough Experience,

one of the things we do is we go in and take the people that you're looking up

to and you're subordinate to and you think, 'oh,

I wish I could be like them' and you're now you're cat trying to swim like a

fish, trying to live in the shadows of others or trying to be second at being

somebody, instead of being first at being you. The moment you do,

you inject other people's values. You set goals that aren't yours.

You go into the amygdala and boom,

you got subjective bias and you distort yourself.

And then you wonder why you're beating yourself up. You are designed to,

whenever you're not being you.

The magnificence of who you are is far greater than all those fantasies you

might impose on yourself.

So you gotta give yourself permission to go after what's truly meaningful to

you, what your identity revolves around,

which is your highest value and get people around you to delegate things and

outsource 'em.

That includes people in your home or at work or whatever it is.

Get somebody to help you get the things done so you can get on to doing the most

important things. Otherwise you're going to have a quiet life of desperation,

not a life of inspiration.

And that's why I want you to come to the Breakthrough Experience,

come learn the Demartini Method to dissolve the

to prioritize your life. That's one of the things I teach in that program,

to prioritize your life.

Nobody's gonna get up in the morning and dedicate their life to your fulfillment

and your highest priorities. If you don't do it, nobody else is gonna do it.

So I wanted to share that today so you can get on with making things happen and

achieve more. And also some way to help on that,

I wanna share with you something,

I've got a special masterclass on Accessing Your 7 Greatest Powers.

This is how to do achievement in all of the seven areas of life.

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So this is about discovering your unique genius and the potential of all seven

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It's a on demand masterclass, take advantage of this.

I don't think you can listen to me and hear these ideas about some of this

sticking, I'm hoping anyway, so please take advantage of this masterclass,

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It's worth it and come to the Breakthrough Experience so I can give you

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I'm 67 years old, been ticking for 49 years doing what I love doing,

which is speaking. Goes by quick,

you do not want to have Bronnie Ware's regrets at the end of your life.

You wanna basically be able to say I did everything I could with everything I