Have you ever wondered how someone can rise from repeated abandonment, three failed marriages, and the brink of homelessness to create a life of purpose and hope? Sometimes our greatest struggles become the foundation for our most meaningful work.

In this deeply personal recording, I share the raw truth behind my transformation from a woman questioning her worth to someone dedicated to supporting solo mothers through their darkest moments. This isn't just another success story. It's a testament to what becomes possible when we stop running from our pain and start learning from it.

After my third divorce, I faced a choice that would change everything. Instead of falling into bitterness or blame, I chose to look inward. What I discovered through a simple but powerful exercise changed not only how I saw myself, but how I approached every relationship moving forward. The process revealed baggage I didn't even know I was carrying and patterns I had been unconsciously repeating for years.

From Rock Bottom to Radical Faith

The real test came when I found myself alone with two young sons, facing potential homelessness in Atlanta. What happened next required a leap of faith that still amazes me. A series of events so perfectly timed that they could only be described as miraculous. From an unexpected phone call to free plane tickets, from a stranger's generosity to a 900-mile move with everything we owned packed into a Toyota Camry.

But this story isn't just about divine intervention. But it's also about the courage to act even when fear threatens to paralyze you. It's about recognizing that our children are more aware of our struggles than we think, and how they can become our greatest source of strength.

What You'll Discover

Through this vulnerable sharing, you'll gain insights into:

1. The power of taking responsibility for your part in failed relationships without falling into self-blame
2. A practical exercise that can reveal unconscious patterns in your relationship choices
3. How to recognize when fear is masquerading as wisdom and holding you back
4. The difference between being desperate and being ready to receive help
5. Why your faith story matters and how it connects to something much bigger than your circumstances

This experience became the catalyst for my devotional "Courage to Believe: 21 Day Devotional for Single Moms". This is a resource born from the realization that grace meets us exactly where we are, even in our messiest moments.

A Message of Hope

Whether you're freshly divorced, widowed, or simply raising children while feeling utterly alone, this story serves as a reminder that you're not walking this path by yourself. Your current chapter doesn't define your entire story.

Sometimes the very experiences that break us open are the ones that prepare us to pour hope into others.

If you've ever felt like you're barely keeping your head above water, or if you're ready to stop repeating old patterns and start writing a new story, this episode offers both practical wisdom and spiritual encouragement for the road ahead.

Grab your copy of Courage To Believe: 21 Day Devotional for Single Mom: https://amzn.to/3Lb7AZi. Ebook available soon.

Ebook purchasers get a free companion workbook download with proof of purchase.

Join our Facebook group for support and faith connection: https://tr.ee/6IKiM6

https://solomomstalk.mysites.io/podcast-2-copy/from-three-divorces-to-divine-purpose-how-god-rebuilt-my-broken-foundation

This podcast is hosted by Captivate, try it yourself for free.

Today I want to reintroduce myself and what I've been doing over the past 10 years that highlights and bring to bear what I'm doing right now. So my name is J Rosemary Francis. I'm a divorced mom of three adult sons. I have two granddaughters and a grandson. And today I want to reintroduce myself as I said before.

because I've been in this space a while as a podcaster, as a blogger. I write, I do videos, I have a YouTube channel, and I wanted to just refocus my efforts on supporting, providing support for the moms that are in a phase or in the phase of life that

they need the most, you need the most support for. So I want to start by talking about my life story in simple terms. So I was raised by a single grandfather. I'm a product of a single mom who left me at nine months old with my single grandfather, her dad, and my granddad died when I was 12 years old. So I was left without parents for a time.

Eventually I went to join my mom, ⁓ where she was living in another country, but essentially I started out life basically alone, but that's not the real story. Right. I want to focus in now on what set me on the path. What set me on this journey of supporting single moms, solo moms. So.

after my third divorce, I went through this metamorphosis, if you will, because I began to find myself thinking about the reasons I was in the place I was. And what it boiled down to is that I took responsibility for my failed marriages. And in that moment,

At first, I questioned who I was. I questioned why nobody want me. I questioned why I wasn't good enough and what was wrong with me. And in that moment, a voice said to me, there is nothing wrong with you. But I discovered that there were things that I needed to do. I needed to fix in myself before I could move forward.

I didn't want to be bitter. I didn't want to be that woman who was always angry, especially at men. And so I developed my own technique that I learned from Tony Robbins about in seeking the maid, make a list of what you want in that maid, make a list of the qualities you want in that maid.

on one side, draw a column and on one side, you make a list of what you are looking for in a mate. Not that I was looking, but I think it was the pivotal exercise for me at that point in time. And on the other side, make a list of the things that I was missing from that list. So if the person was kind and I wasn't a kind person,

then I needed to write that down on that second column. That exercise was very eye-opening for me because I realized I didn't even, I wasn't even conscious in selecting my maids. I was unconscious in the people I married. And I could say I was unintentional, but

When I look back, I was really unconscious. So this exercise led me to start reading the scriptures more, ⁓ doing daily devotional. read Joel Osteen's book, Your Best Life Now, was one of those pivotal texts that I read that really helped me to focus in on my responsibility in my life. Because

I realized and I discovered through all that, that I had a lot of baggage that I hadn't really addressed. And most of it is because I hadn't even realized I had that baggage. I had these things at the back of my head that were sitting there. It's like, it's like they were part of my psyche, but they weren't at knowledge. You know, they weren't at a forefront.

It wasn't until I did all this introspection that I realized all the hurt and the pain that I was trying to hide behind. And so I wanted family. ⁓ I wanted to, I tried to turn rejection into my own story, building on those rejection, building on those abandonment, building on those

fears of being left, which was not a foundation to build on at all. And so I sought out, you know, there's a phrase that says hurt people hurt people, but I'd like to put my own phrase on that and said, the people who are hurt look for people who are hurting to peer up with and ⁓

that makes for a real stinky soup. For those of you who've ever been in this situation, you understand what I'm talking about. So I was fortunate that I wasn't one of those people who got out of a marriage and hated men or blamed men or lived in this constant state of

always pointing the finger. I took the time to do this, point the finger at me and got perspective because it wasn't a I'm to blame session. It was a what is it that you could do in the future to avoid getting yourself in these situations. And so that helped me to

unfold my life's history and realize that there were things in my life that I needed to take care of if I wanted to have healthy relationships going forward. And it wasn't just relationships with a partner. It was relationships with all people who I come in contact with. Now I want to move on from that

stage of life because it developed in a sense that once I got past all that mental and emotional and spiritual stuff, garbage that once I got through that, then real life was happening, right? And I found myself at a stage where I was really struggling financially.

And I was scared out of my wits because I didn't want to be that woman who had her kids living on the street. And this is no condemnation of anyone, but I didn't want that to happen to me. I'd lived in fear because of my life or my childhood. I've lived in fear of being homeless my whole life.

And so this was a big thing for me. It was a big fear that I could not be homeless. And because of that, by the time my middle son was 15, we checked it. We had moved, no, by the time he was 14, we had moved 15 times. And I was moving to avoid being evicted. And I was at this stage where it was getting to a point where it just was too much.

It was nauseous. It was making me nauseous. So what happened was that how I ended up with my two youngest son, parenting alone, divorced, was that I talk about it on my podcast and in my writings that I came down on one day with those two young two and four year old and my husband at the time had cleaned out our house.

took everything, trashed everything that was left and just disappeared. And truthfully, it's been 28 years and I haven't seen him. ⁓ None of us have seen him. So it's one of those things that leaves you reeling and it did leave me reeling. I can't tell you how much

It devastated me because, and it was the fact that I was abandoned again, but it was also the fact that I was left to raise children I didn't know how to raise because I needed raising myself. I still needed raising because I have never really been parented. But something miraculous happened a few years later.

And it was after this soul searching moment after my third divorce, being at my wits end, being desperate, I decided that I needed to leave Atlanta. And so I was searching for ways. was, I was at first, I would have gone to Florida. I had family there. The accommodations were there. I'd been there to, to visit, to check it out. And so that was the plan. But one day.

I was thinking about all this and a friend of mine from my childhood reached out to me and suggested that I look for a job in New York. And it was the most horrible suggestion he could make, because I had no intention of going to New York. I had visited and it wasn't my cup of tea. But I was at that stage where I was desperate.

I'm just going to say it. I was desperate. so I had taken while living in Toronto, I had gone to secretarial school and I decided, I decided that maybe I should try to get a job as an admin, secretary. So I went online and I applied to this agency, this temp agency that my friend suggested and applied for a job. And I didn't just apply.

to that agency applied to a second one, just putting it out there, right? I don't know, I didn't know at the time how I was gonna get to New York, let alone move to New York. But anyway, about 15 minutes after sending my email, I got a phone call from that agency. We got your resume and we'd like you to come in for an interview tomorrow.

So this was, I believe Wednesday. And I said, well, I can't come in tomorrow, but I could come in, no, sorry, this was Tuesday. I can't come in tomorrow, but I could come in on Thursday. Would that work? And she said, yes, fine. We'll see you at 9 a.m. on Thursday morning. So I got off the phone and I kind of stopped and was thinking to myself, what?

in heaven's name did you do? And I went into my bedroom and kneeled down and prayed to God. I said, God, you see what I just did? I just agreed to go to New York for an interview. How am I gonna get to New York? How is this supposed to happen? And after I finished praying, before I even got off my knee, my phone rang again and I went to answer it and it was...

It was this friend of mine who worked for the airline. And the only thing he said was, what's up? That was his way of greeting. And I hadn't called him. I hadn't texted him. hadn't said anything. But I told him, it was a good friend and somebody who was acquainted with my situation. And I told him what I was doing. And he just said, okay, here's a number. Call this guy. He owes me one. Tell him to give you a ticket.

So called the guy, told him when I was traveling and he said, okay, ticket will be waiting for you at the counter. So I ended up going to New York for that interview and another interview and nothing came of it. I stayed until the Friday with my cousin and I was getting ready to leave because I had left my children, my youngest sons with my oldest son who was

You know, had his own life and, but he volunteered to, to look after my two youngest while I was off interviewing. So this Friday, it was Friday, it was time for me to go. And I said to my cousin, he's gone now, God rest his soul. I said to my cousin, ⁓ I need to go back to my kids. And he's like, where are you running to? Why are you running home? What, why don't you just hang out for a few days? Stay still Monday morning and see.

What if someone calls you? I wasn't too sure about it, but I decided to stay, to listen and stay till Monday. Monday I got a call, Monday afternoon I got a call from the first agency that I went to. And they said, we got a three day job for you. It started Wednesday. Would you like it? Would you take it? I said, sure, I'll take it.

And not too long after that, I got another call. I got a call from the other agency saying, we have a three week job for you. Would you take it? I said, no, I can't take it because I just agreed to take a three day job and I don't really want to break my commitment because you know, I'm that kind of person. She said, she said to me, okay, I admire your commitment. And if that doesn't work, give us a

Work out, give us a call back and we'll see what we can find for you. End of story. Wednesday morning, a total mess. I walked into this firm, to the 19th floor of this firm on Wall Street. And the person I was going to help out was also a divorced mom from the Caribbean as well. And we hit it off immediately. And I'm going to tell you that felt like serendipity. I worked the three days, no, I worked that day.

And I worked the second day, which was Thursday. And the lady came to me and she said, ⁓ we'd like to extend you for another two weeks. So, because we liked all your work and can you come back for two more weeks? It was then that I had to come clean because I live 900 miles away. I only came to have an interview. I didn't even come to work. And I explained to her as best I could.

And she said, well, that's okay. Why don't you take tomorrow off and I'll see you on Monday morning. So here I am 900 miles away from home, a single mom. My kids are left back home, going to school. It's May in Atlanta. So they're in school and I am contemplating leaving them there and coming and staying in New York and working for two weeks. But then it occurred to me that

maybe I shouldn't be leaving my kids there. So I called my aunt in New York, in New Jersey, and asked her if, and told her. Well, first of all, I didn't decide about the kids until later. So I told my aunt about the job and all of that. She knew I was in New York. And I told her that I have something for a couple of weeks and could I stay with her when I come back? She said, yeah, yeah, you could stay. And I,

I needed a backup, so I asked my cousin the same thing and he said, yeah, sure, you could stay. So I got on the plane on Friday and all these plane tickets I didn't pay for came through my friend's friend. And so it was all this stuff, one thing after the other set in place, set in motion. While I was journeying back on the plane, I was thinking about my situation.

And it occurred to me that, no, I could not leave my kids in Atlanta. This is something I had to do whole, like I had to move from Atlanta and I had to take my kids with me. So when I got to Atlanta Friday evening, I called my aunt and said, you know, I think maybe what I should do is to bring the boys. So I'm going to need, you know, to have them with me while I'm there with you. She said, no.

That can't happen. She can't have kids in her house. Some other things do, but I am leaving it alone. I call my cousin. He said the same thing. So here it was Friday evening with a life changing decision to make and not, and no support. Like nobody to take up one little thing that I needed taken up. And okay, it's a big ass to have somebody to, you know, to have someone open their home.

with your two children. I mean, I don't have family like that. So that's how it is. So anyway, I didn't hesitate. I called the friend who had referred me to the ticket guy and I knew he had a truck. So I told him, if you know anybody who want furniture, I'm packing up everything. They can have what they want.

had nowhere to go, nowhere to live. Now, if I was alone, I could figure it out when I had these two little boys with me. Now, and also the other thing was that I had to have the conversation with these two preteen boys in school playing basketball, doing other things. And we've already moved schools several times and they were a little annoyed that they had to move to New York. They had been, they didn't like it like I didn't, but they said,

You know, they were, they were my biggest fans, my biggest support. I'm going to tell you, no matter what you're struggling with, listen, keep your mind open and remember those children are aware. They are aware of everything that's going on, even when you try to block them. So remember that. So I was a real estate agent. I was also a licensed.

insurance agent and I was a big networker. I checked my database and I found the number for a mortgage person, a person I knew did mortgage from Queens at the time he was living in Florida. So I called him and I said, do you know anybody who have a room in Queens? I don't know why I said that, the room, three of us, I don't know. That's what I said. I said, do you know anyone with a room in New York? Because I am moving.

tomorrow and I need somewhere to stay and he said I have a room in Queens and I said how much and he said don't worry about that just get there so now it's set but I want to back up because there's some other things that I didn't fill in I kind of glossed over certain things because this is a long story so as I go I retreat a bit sometimes to

fill in the blanks, because there are some blanks. The next morning, on the morning at 6.30, I drove out from Atlanta. My Toyota camera was packed full of what we could bring, and my two sons were in the back. Two youngest boys were in the back. I drove from that time, and at 3 a.m., the next Monday morning, we arrived at the location we were supposed to go to.

No GPS, New York City at night. For anyone who's driven that city, you know what I'm talking about. Fortunately, a guy I rented from, he kept in touch to make sure that, you know, I got to the place because there's nobody else, right? And I often say that God always send the person you need just when you need them to fulfill whatever need you have at that time.

And so this was this guy who guided me to this apartment in Queens. Now I'm not going to discuss the condition of the apartment because I detail that a lot in the book that I'm writing about my story, about this story, especially. So what brought me to talking about all of this and creating this video is one, to reintroduce myself and to

let you see what the journey has been for me, at least part of my journey and what brought me to this point. So in my writing, I talk about this journey, I talk about it on my podcast, but the whole realization of that journey came to be when one morning when I was in church, it was singing and, you know, worshiping and the soloist on the choir was singing

I still believe and a feeling overwhelmed me. And because even at that moment in time, I was still struggling. was struggling with, with bullying at work. I was struggling with still trying to maintain a roof over her head. And I had a lot of burden at the time living in New York city with two black boys and I was still struggling. But

That moment, that song I still believe resonated with me. And after worship, I sat down, God forgive me, I was in church, but it just flowed. This story just flowed. It flowed, it flowed. And I wrote, I was writing, it helped me actualize some feelings and some emotions that I was going through. And the biggest one was fear. And

I use that fear, I use that word as the stepping board to a devotional I wrote called Courage to Believe, 21 Day Devotional for Single Moms. And what it is, it's a rundown of the emotions we experience as single moms, especially when we're fresh after break up. The courage part is the act of actually

stepping out, even when you are afraid, because that's what I did. Moving from Atlanta, driving from Atlanta, there was a lot of fear. You know, I have had a condition with high blood pressure and I mean, it is so heart wrenching, even thinking about it and thinking that I can't believe that I went through all of that.

and I'm still here. So this is what this is all about. Me bringing into focus this time of my life that while writing this devotional, I'm realizing that I'm not the only one going through it. And the fact that I have to take responsibility for what I write. I can't just write words on a page. They have to mean something. They have to

not just express my own emotions and or overcame them if I did, but they also have to be a bomb to the reader, you the single mom who will read it. The fact that it's a Christian text is important because there many of us who claim Christianity, but we

are so far removed from its blessings. We're so far removed from grace that it's an abstract thought to be a Christian. But I use this devotional to connect our story to the everlasting story of grace. And I pray that if you decide to read it, that it will bring that solace to you that

light, will shine in your darkness and help you to realize that you're not alone, that whatever you're going through, you're not alone, but also that there is grace for every need. And also that Lord Jesus Christ understands, he's familiar with your grief. He experienced

abandonment and abuse. This is what I want to bring out in this devotion. I ask the Lord when I'm each day when I write something, I ask the Lord, please shine your light through these words. So readers life can be illuminated so they can find their way over and through whatever it is they're experiencing. And so I want it to go through

My background, in essence, and just talk about a few of the things that has put me in a position to put these words on paper and to create this devotional that I pray will help single moms, divorced mom, widowed mom, our moms still married but lonely, raising children solo.

Again, I'm J Rosemary Francis. Thank you.