How do you know if something is truly aligned with the life you're meant to live?

In this special Game episode, PlateFit founder Rachael Blumberg joins Roxy for a rapid-fire round of Is it Aligned or Out of Alignment? that goes beyond fitness and dives into intuition, boundaries, relationships, purpose, and personal growth.

Through a series of thought-provoking scenarios, Rachael reveals how she decides what deserves a "yes," what gets a "no," and how living in alignment has transformed every area of her life.

It's fun, insightful, and might just inspire you to rethink a few of your own answers.

In this episode:

• What it really means to live in alignment

• How to recognize when something feels out of alignment

• Quick-fire questions on relationships, work, and personal growth

• Why saying "no" can be one of the most powerful forms of self-care

• The role intuition plays in making difficult decisions

• Rachael's honest, unfiltered answers to the Alignment Game

Enjoying The Iconic Midlife? Please follow, rate, and review the show wherever you listen to podcasts. Your support helps us reach more women navigating midlife. And if this episode made you think differently, share it with a friend who could use a little more alignment in her life.

Follow Roxy and The Iconic Midlife on social media:

@redcarpetroxy (Host)

@theiconicmidlife (Podcast)

Thanks for listening to The Iconic Midlife. New full episodes drop every Tuesday, with bonus Game Time episodes every Thursday.

No. No is a full sentence like, no can't come. Bueller. Oui.

The name of this game is called aligned or out of alignment. Staying longer than you want to in a conversation to avoid being perceived as rude. Aligned or out of alignment.

Out of alignment.

Choosing the peaceful option over the honest one. Aligned or out of alignment? Out of alignment. Feeling calm in a relationship, but also a little bored. Aligned or out of alignment. I think you.

I always like to play a game with my guests. If you are feeling up for it, great.

Go for it.

All right. Okay, let's do it. The name of this game is called aligned or out of alignment.

So I'm going to throw out different situations and or habits, behaviors, and you tell me your gut reaction. Does this feel aligned for you right now or out of alignment? All right, so here we go.

Staying longer than you want to in a conversation to avoid being perceived as rude, aligned or out of alignment.

Out of. I was on a birthday and a bunch of women were talking negatively about somebody that wasn't there. And I didn't even know any of the.

I didn't know any context to anybody there, but I was just like, you know what? This is just not for me. So I just exited. I literally took myself up and. And put place myself somewhere else because I just didn't.

It was just a physical choice. Like, I don't want to be in that conversation.

That's a powerful thing. Feeling calm in a relationship, but also a little bored. Aligned or out of alignment?

I. I think you could go both ways. What I would do is I would ask myself the question, why am I bored? And is this calmness, is it a tool, a fuel, an invitation for something?

Okay.

Or is it less? Is it also an invitation to just learn how to be bored, to sit in the calmness, into the peace? So I don't. I think it could go either way.

I'm gonna go both ways.

You know, I really like too, the idea of being bored, especially as it relates to our kids, because I think so much of the time they're like, I'm bored. I'm bored. What should I do? Like, fix this for me. And it's actually, I think a good thing for them to sit in their boredom.

We used to be bored. So much as kids create something or.

Go outside or yes, absolutely missing a version of yourself that doesn't fit your life anymore. Aligned or out of alignment.

Aligned.

Yeah. Yeah.

I think it's. I think sometimes as you're going through process, it gets so lonely before. It doesn't and that's what nobody really talks about.

So the healing journey can feel very lonely, and it will get lonely.

You're dying and, like, it's like this old self is going away and everything is restructuring, and it's so uncomfortable, and it feels like everything's misaligned, but it's really like your soul moving into alignment. And some of my. My greatest teachers, I just. I'm so happy that they said to me, it's so lonely.

The path where you're going is so lonely, but just stay the course, because you come out on the other side. And I just remember going, like, why am I doing this so many times? Like, why do I keep doing this?

Why am I committing social suicide, like, over again, you know? But, like. But I. But I just stayed the course so happy I didn't go back to that old version of me. Like, I could.

I could just, like, go back to drinking and start. Go back. Back out, and I could just, like, just go back to sleep, you know, it was easier before, and. Because the loneliness through is. Is real.

Yeah. Because not everybody's on the same journey. Right.

Like, it's not like all of a sudden, everybody in your family is like, let's do this together, you know?

And you never know what's going to happen as a result, you know?

Right.

Terrifying, too. But staying the course. And that question is a really good question. That's a beautiful question.

Oh, thank you. No, I'm glad you answered that because that's. I think that that too, holds people back, you know, like, not having that assurance because it's.

You're taking a path that you haven't taken before. Yeah. It's unknown.

Yep.

You know, choosing the peaceful option over the honest one. Aligned or out of alignment?

Out of alignment. I. I feel like this qu. These questions are so beautiful because it just depends on who you're talking to. And, like, it can be true either way.

But for me, I'm just like a truth seeker. Like, just feel like I'm kind of. I'm. I'm a truth alchemist, like, legitimately, Like, I, like, desire to find real truth, as tough as it is.

I love that you call. That's, like, your title too. Like, Truth Alchemist.

It's like, because it does my gift, it's like, it's such a gift, and I have this. Just have such a gift for finding my own truth. And then when I find my own truth, I help.

I can just really help other people find theirs as hard as the truth is. Because it isn't Always the greatest thing to see. Yeah. But when you're right, you're like.

It's like, I feel like it's an invitation for me, like an invitation to be different. It's an invitation to be like, oh my God. That's what I've been up to. That's what I've been doing. That's why I'm not getting the thing that I want.

That's what I've been blocking. Oh my God. And then what do I need to do in order to like, not to not do that anymore?

Yeah, what to do. Exactly. That's like the exciting part too, right? It's like, what can you do? What's like a new outcome, a new way of approaching something.

Being the easy one in a relationship. Aligned or out of alignment.

I mean, bless us. Honestly, like, I fit in a box for as long as I could fit in a box and I don't easy going.

And I did whatever wanted me to do and I like, felt like I was just like. And then I would like, and then I would explode. You know what I mean?

And it's like, no, I feel the exact same way. I feel like, you know, too for myself. Like, you know, I'm kind of this easygoing person and you know, have always been really.

And so the friends are always like, oh my God, you're always so fun to be around and like, you know, easy and like all those things. But then, you know, in these last couple years, it's really started to shift for me.

And it's like now I put down, you know, more boundaries and like, you know, doing things in a different way. And sometimes people are the most receptive to that. Even the people that are the closest to you.

No, of course, usually the people that are closest to you are the worst. The people that don't want you to change because when you change, that means they have to change.

People want you to stay the same, especially the people closest to you.

It's like predictable. They know what they're getting. Yep.

Like, like that's the way that you're supposed to be.

And then all of a sudden somebody uproots their life and like decides to just like, do something completely different or set a boundary and say, you know what? I'm not going to come. I. It's too late for me. Have a time. No. No is a full sentence. Like, no, can't come. Feel like, yeah, yeah. Where, Where'd she go?

The over explainer that I used to be.

Right.

You see like, like dialogues about, like, why I Couldn't come to somebody, something because I felt like I was going to disappoint somebody by being honest about what I actually wanted to do. And now I'm just like, sorry, I can't come.

And that's that.

It's just so, it's so empowering. But people are not going to like it and that's okay. And that's part of this process too.

Yeah. You don't have to always be liked. Right?

I mean, that's, you're not going to always be liked. And I think the acceptance of that, like is such a beautiful gift. One of my friends said to me, I think it was like a few months ago.

She's just like, I, I just feel like everybody's going to judge me. And I said, and what she said, what I said to her is that they are, everybody is going to judge you.

And it's, it's really your, it's your own reflect, it's your own judgment, it's the own, it's a reflection of your own self judgment, but it's showing up as a mirror. Everybody is going to judge you, so expect that and do it anyways.

And by the way, they're going to forget about it in like two seconds.

This has been like, by the way, all the people that were judging me are now back on board.

Right?

Right.

I'm building something actually really successful and it's like growing and like I'm reaching people and people see, see what I'm doing now because at first they were like cringing. They were like, what is she doing?

Huh? Well, you.

I was going like, what am I doing? Yes.

Well, you also like took the step to do it. You, you know, and like a lot of times people, that even scares people, you know, they're like, oh God, she took the chance.

And like, because maybe they wanted to do that too and they haven't, you know.

Yeah.

It's so wild. Okay. Letting something slide. Because it's not a big deal. Even though it kind of is.

It depends on what the big deal is. So here's my quick story about this one, which is so good. It's so good. So I came home from, I just, I hold circles. I have these circles that I do.

And I came home from this two hour circle and it's, I just feel so alive in these circles and they're wonderful and they're beautiful. And I come home and Yuval has the kids and I walk into the kitchen and it's like a bomb blew up in the kitchen.

I'm like, yeah, you're like, what the.

Like, doing this. Like, oh, why did he not do the kitchen? Why didn't he. Why didn't he just clean up the kitchen? Yes, yes. And it was like. And, and. And I'm right.

Because he could just clean up the kitchen good. It was worth fighting for because why couldn't he just do the thing? Like, it's not that hard. But I was just like. Then I. Then I. I was like.

And then I was like, did you take the dog on a walk? And he was like, no, I was just shut my mouth. I've learned to zip my mouth. Okay, take a beat. Take a beat. And I walk the dog.

And I came back and I took a deep breath. When I came back in, I heard exactly what I needed to hear.

I heard him laughing with the kids upstairs and having the best night, and they had his attention, and I just didn't need to fight the battle. And so I walked into the kitchen and I just did the dishes. And by the way, I kind of like doing the dishes. Pausing is.

Is like a major, major, major tool that is never really talked about, but it's like one of the greatest gifts of my life.

And last one, not bringing something up because you don't want to shift the dynamic aligned or out of alignment.

I will bring it up if I'm asked.

Okay. If you're asked, it's not any of my business.

I can't bring it up. So it depends if it's none of my business. I think sometimes we as human beings want to insert ourselves in something that's none of our business.

That's. You're right. That's human nature. Right. To kind of get in there and.

And I think I can fix it for people.

Right, Right.

And I think I have the solution. And I may have the solution. So it just depends. Yeah. If. If, if I always ask somebody, like, do you want my opinion? Want me to just listen? I can be.

I can play both roles. And a listening role is just as powerful as a giving advice role.

So what if you see a good friend struggling but they're not asking for help? Like, what do you do in a situation like that? Like, if you really.

If you want to give them help or you think you might know something that might be helpful, but they're struggling and they're not asking you for help, what do you do?

I listen to them and I'll reflect back maybe what they've said and give empathy and validation for their experience. And from that place ignites more conversation. So the reflection circles that I lead are one of the most powerful practices that I have also.

I mean there's so many and so many circles, many. But this is, this is a, a, a, a safe container where women come and they get to share on the prompts that I give.

And what comes out are life experiences and things that are women, that women are going through. And the container is no advice giving at all. No advice. And there's no same sameing. You can't say that happened to me too.

You keep the entire experience with the person and ultimately what happens is there's like a healing that happens. And they almost figure it out themselves by talking and then having everyone reflect back and give validation for where they're at.

And then from that place they can say, oh, I do, I want, I want somebody's opinion or advice. I don't really give my opinion often unless I'm hired to do it or somebody asks me for their opinion.

And usually when I insert my opinion, it's not well received.

They don't want to hear it.

Huh. People don't. And then I just have to say it's not mine. Like as much as hard as it is, like, you know, and when it comes to kids, it's even harder.

Gosh, tell me about it.

I mean, God bless us. I mean I got to have a 11 year old in two years with a girl, so God bless you because she's already hard.

Yes.

The pre, like.

The pre teens hit hard, you know, I mean it's, it's a whole other ball game, you know, different, different time and hormones and all the things, you know, I know. God help us.