Artwork for podcast This Week is Dumb
Nerf Cars and Botox - April 12th, 2021
Episode 1112th April 2021 • This Week is Dumb • Garrett and Yury
00:00:00 00:29:38

Share Episode

Shownotes

It's time for another week in dumb news. This week Garrett and Yury discuss texting etiquette, Yury's run for mayor by requiring nerf cars, fast food outrage and a medical spa where the Botox is cheap and the Four Lokos are free!

Call the FAN DUMB line to be a part of the show 888-FAN-DUMB or find us on all the social medias @ThisWeekIsDumb or finally you can just email us, garrett@dumbweek.com or yury@dumbweek.com 

Don't forget to rate the podcast and leave a review, it truly helps us grow!!!

Transcripts

Voice Over:

It's time for the, this week is dumb podcast.

Voice Over:

A chance for you to disconnect from reality for a bit and hear about some of

Voice Over:

the dumb things that we found this week.

Voice Over:

Now, here are your hosts, Garrett and Yury.

Garrett:

Hi, everybody.

Garrett:

Welcome to this episode.

Garrett:

Number 11 of this week is dumb.

Garrett:

Thanks for coming back for another week and joining us.

Garrett:

Uh, hopefully you're listening to this on Monday because that's when we

Garrett:

release our episodes and well, That's when we're funniest, because you know,

Garrett:

as the week goes on, it's not as funny.

Garrett:

Yeah.

Garrett:

Right.

Garrett:

Yury.

Yury:

What is up Dumberellas?

Garrett:

Is that this week's word Dumberellas?

Yury:

You know, it's not easy actually coming up with a

Yury:

word every week, you know?

Garrett:

I had a great idea about that though.

Garrett:

Both times we've had somebody come in and play, fill in the dumb with us.

Garrett:

They both had suggestions as to what the name of our listeners should be, right?

Yury:

Well, Harry had dumdums.

Yury:

So we had dumped dumps from Harry and we had double doors from Chelsea.

Garrett:

That's right.

Yury:

And I just came up with Dumberellas

Garrett:

So Dumberellas, Dumbledoors.

Garrett:

Dumdums I believe okay.

Yury:

Not dummerellas, Dumberellas.

Garrett:

Dumberellas, you gotta pronounce the B in there.

Garrett:

So

Yury:

actually could sound like if Dumbo and Cinderella had a kid Dumberella.

Yury:

I'll get back to the drawing board.

Yury:

I'll come up with something.

Garrett:

Yeah, I would appreciate you, uh, using the creative side there.

Garrett:

But the point that I was trying to make is maybe if the guest who comes on and

Garrett:

plays Fill In The Dumb with us, maybe if they beat me in the game, maybe they

Garrett:

get to pick what we call the person what we call our listeners next week.

Yury:

Oh, I love this idea.

Garrett:

It's like our virtual trophy to them.

Garrett:

Plus we're giving them the opportunity to call our listeners

Garrett:

something new next week.

Yury:

I like it.

Yury:

All right.

Yury:

In fact, I'm going to take this.

Yury:

I'm going to put it into our minutes.

Garrett:

Our minutes?

Yury:

That's not what people do on like board meetings?

Garrett:

Meeting minutes?

Garrett:

Are you taking minutes from this?

Yury:

I don't even know what minutes means.

Yury:

What does it mean when you take minutes?

Garrett:

I think it's just like taking notes, but it's what they used to call it

Garrett:

back in like the fifties and the sixties.

Yury:

But why can't they let's call it notes.

Yury:

Hey, what were the notes from the meeting?

Yury:

I don't know.

Yury:

You mean the minutes?

Yury:

I don't know.

Yury:

I don't know if somebody understands why they're called minutes.

Yury:

Please email me.

Yury:

Let me know.

Garrett:

What's your email address Yury?

Yury:

Yury, yury@dumbweek.Com.

Yury:

That's Yury, yury@dumbweek.Com.

Garrett:

And how else might our listeners get in touch with us?

Yury:

Well, they can call us on the a phone number 1-888-FAN-DUMB.

Yury:

That's 1-888-FAN-DUMB.

Garrett:

Any other ways they could get in

Garrett:

touch with us.

Yury:

Well, they can find us on all social media.

Yury:

They can find us on podcast networks.

Yury:

We're on YouTube.

Yury:

We're on Fox 11, CBS eye witness news.

Garrett:

That's only, that's only when they're after me in

Garrett:

the, in the high-speed chases.

Garrett:

That's the only time we end up on the news, you know that.

Yury:

In Florida,

Garrett:

In Florida, you know, I was, um, I was working this week.

Garrett:

I know, shocking to everybody listening that I have an actual job.

Garrett:

And I was talking with one of the folks that I work with, one of my

Garrett:

colleagues, and we were having a conversation about email etiquette.

Garrett:

And like, when is it okay to send emails?

Garrett:

Because I work with a global team.

Garrett:

So is it all right to send an email here and there?

Garrett:

And it got me thinking about text messaging and I don't know if you have a

Garrett:

thing about this or not Yury, but one of the dumbest things that I have run into

Garrett:

probably in the last couple of months, uh, when it came to communicating with

Garrett:

someone, was somebody actually got really mad at me for sending them a text at

Garrett:

like six 30 in the morning on a Saturday,

Yury:

Dude, it's hilarious you say this.

Yury:

I got into an argument with someone because they were upset that I

Yury:

was texting them late at night.

Garrett:

So when you say you got into an argument with someone, can you, can

Garrett:

you dig a little bit deeper on that?

Garrett:

Were there fisticuffs thrown?

Garrett:

See, we're talking minutes and fisticuffs now.

Garrett:

Uh, were there fisticuffs thrown or was it just like a verbal argument?

Garrett:

Did you slap each other in the face?

Yury:

There was no slapping.

Yury:

There was no fisticuffs.

Yury:

It's all in the minutes.

Yury:

If you want to go back and review that they were upset because I was texting.

Yury:

I think it wasn't even that late.

Yury:

It was like 1130.

Yury:

Given he has two to 1130.

Garrett:

Yeah.

Garrett:

I mean, for those of us that have kids, 1130 is super late, dude.

Garrett:

I gotta be up at like six in the morning.

Yury:

The reason texting was invented was so you didn't have to call someone.

Yury:

It's basically an instant email.

Yury:

If I was to drive up to your house at midnight and put an envelope in your

Yury:

mailbox outside, would you be upset?

Garrett:

I would probably call the cops and let them know.

Garrett:

There was a strange person out in front of my house.

Garrett:

Yes.

Yury:

You don't know what it is, I could be leaving a checks and cash.

Yury:

If you don't like to receive texts late in the evening, because of

Yury:

family obligations, well, the most phone companies have already

Yury:

solved this issue for you by just turning your phone on silent.

Yury:

Now, if you're going to come back and say, Oh, but the phone buzzes you can turn on,

Yury:

do not disturb, if you have an iPhone.

Yury:

If you have an Android, then I suggest you just immediately go get an iPhone because,

Garrett:

because you're living in the dark ages, get with the times.

Garrett:

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Garrett:

So.

Garrett:

My phone.

Garrett:

So, as I mentioned, I work with a global team, right folks all over the world.

Garrett:

So my phone goes off

Yury:

So, global teams means all around the world,?

Garrett:

All around the world.

Garrett:

Thanks for calling.

Yury:

Gotcha.

Garrett:

It goes off at all hours.

Garrett:

And so I actually, I have on my phone in the settings, the bedtime feature enabled.

Garrett:

So every night at 11:00 PM, my phone goes into bedtime mode and it doesn't

Garrett:

come off bedtime mode until 7:00 AM.

Garrett:

So if I get any emails, any texts, messages, any calls, anything during

Garrett:

that time, my phone doesn't make a single noise so I can sleep through the night.

Yury:

Now, does it have an override feature?

Yury:

Because on iPhone, it's called do not disturb.

Yury:

I imagine it's the same thing, but just probably works way better.

Garrett:

I'm on an iPhone Yury I'm with the times.

Yury:

Well, it's not called bedtime, then

Garrett:

It is called bedtime.

Yury:

It's called do not disturb.

Garrett:

Oh my gosh.

Garrett:

Hold on.

Garrett:

Let's go into settings real quick.

Garrett:

Damn it.

Garrett:

Am I wrong?

Yury:

What's it called?

Yury:

Garrett.

Yury:

What's it called?

Yury:

Garrett.

Yury:

We all can't read your screen in a podcast.

Garrett:

Okay.

Garrett:

So it's a scheduled do not disturb, so,

Yury:

Oh, goodness gracious.

Yury:

Wow.

Yury:

You're so you're about as good as life as you are at fill in the dumb

Garrett:

ah, ouch dude.

Yury:

Just kidding.

Garrett:

That was kind of Savage.

Yury:

It was a little Savage.

Yury:

I apologize.

Garrett:

The one thing that drives me the most crazy.

Garrett:

Is when you're in a group chat with somebody and they add somebody into the

Garrett:

group chat that has an Android phone.

Garrett:

And all of a sudden your entire group chat becomes green.

Garrett:

and not blue.

Yury:

I was literally having this conversation this morning, my

Yury:

stepfather who lives out of state, he had an Android I'm consistently

Yury:

texting my mother who has an iPhone.

Yury:

It's a joy.

Yury:

If you have an iPhone and you're texting other iPhone users and a group

Yury:

chat, and it's amazing, blue is good.

Yury:

Then there's certain group chats where it'll be 99% iPhones, and

Yury:

that one Android person in the group ruins it ruins the whole chat.

Yury:

But what I'm getting at is today, my stepdad upgraded

Yury:

from Android to an iPhone.

Garrett:

All right.

Garrett:

Well, let's get into some stories.

Garrett:

Yury.

Garrett:

What do you think?

Yury:

I think that's a great idea.

Yury:

I think a lot happened this week.

Yury:

There's a lot of dumbness to be had.

Garrett:

There's so much dumbness.

Garrett:

It's hard to decide what we're going to talk about, but I'm going to,

Garrett:

there's a theme to my stories today.

Garrett:

And I had a theme, probably one of our first episodes.

Garrett:

Uh, I have another theme today and the theme today is going to

Garrett:

be all around fast food again.

Yury:

How many times when you go through a drive-through, do they mess up your order?

Yury:

For me, it's like nine out of 10 times.

Yury:

And every time I discover a mess up, all I can think of is you have

Yury:

one job,

Garrett:

I'll take it a step further.

Garrett:

Not only do they mess up the order nine times out of 10,

Garrett:

but 99.9, nine, 9% of the time.

Garrett:

It's my wife's food.

Garrett:

And then

Yury:

I think they're not paying these people enough.

Yury:

I really think that the, they need to just up the pay a little bit,

Yury:

just enough to get them to care.

Yury:

That's really the baseline for any employee is you want them paid enough

Yury:

to just care the right amount to get the customers service satisfaction level up.

Garrett:

What a great segue into our first story, Yury.

Garrett:

Thanks for that.

Garrett:

The title of this first story that I want to bring to you this week is

Garrett:

woman shoots at Burger King employees, overweight time at the drive-thru.

Yury:

Shooting a gun?

Garrett:

Yes.

Garrett:

Shooting a gun.

Garrett:

A drive-thru order became a violent when a woman opened

Yury:

Holy shit

Garrett:

into a Memphis Tennessee burger King.

Yury:

Oh my Whopper.

Garrett:

According to police, this woman was in the drive-through line.

Garrett:

She got out of her car.

Garrett:

Walks up to the window and starts arguing with one of these employees and

Garrett:

there's actually surveillance video.

Garrett:

And we all know how wonderful surveillance video is, right?

Yury:

It's like watching a video made in a Minecraft world, but if you want

Yury:

to see pictures of space and Mars.

Garrett:

It's super simple to do, right?

Garrett:

I'm going to send you the link to this article Yury.

Garrett:

And you should, you should take a look at this article.

Garrett:

It shows a picture of her, you know, those drive-through windows,

Garrett:

they opened like only halfway.

Garrett:

You can actually see her standing with her face.

Garrett:

In the drive-through window, holding a gun and pointing it at the employee.

Yury:

You know, I'm looking at this picture of her leaning

Yury:

in the drive-through and she's pointing a gun, at the staff.

Yury:

You have to be a hardcore impatient person because obviously

Yury:

she had the gun with her.

Yury:

So she was expecting that at some point she was going to need a gun to

Yury:

basically make her stand about, I didn't want to wait 10 minutes for a Whopper.

Garrett:

I love what burger Kings official statement in response

Garrett:

to this whole incident was.

Yury:

Is it something along the lines of, uh, to any future customers

Yury:

our Whopper bang athon was not meant to be taken, literally.

Yury:

Please do not bring firearms to our establishments, signed management.

Garrett:

Damn dude, you hit the nail on the head with that one.

Garrett:

The official statement says we do not tolerate or condone violence of

Garrett:

any kind at our restaurants because the safety of our team members

Garrett:

and guests is our top priority.

Garrett:

Fortunately, no one in the restaurant was injured during this incident.

Garrett:

The restaurant operator is fully cooperating with authorities

Garrett:

in their ongoing investigation.

Yury:

Garrett, I think Whoppers are the best segue into our weekly game.

Yury:

I know you are the co-host on this podcast.

Garrett:

Last time I checked anyway.

Garrett:

Are you, are you firing me?

Garrett:

Is this my firing?

Yury:

Did you have some, you were going to say?

Garrett:

No, I was just wondering how we're going to play this game

Garrett:

when our guest backed out at the last minute and, well, let's be honest.

Garrett:

It's 10 30 at night and I'm not going to call anybody.

Garrett:

I could probably text someone, but maybe they probably won't get it

Garrett:

because their phone is on silent.

Yury:

It's not 10:30 at night.

Yury:

It's Monday morning when people are listening.

Garrett:

That's right.

Garrett:

It's Monday morning.

Garrett:

It's the magic of this podcast.

Yury:

Do not lose the magic and smoke and mirrors of this podcast.

Garrett:

Do people think we're recording this live or like playing it live.

Garrett:

Ladies and gentlemen, go to the podcast store, subscribe to our podcast and the

Garrett:

instant you hit play Yury, and I will be sitting in front of our microphones

Garrett:

and we will bring you this episode live.

Yury:

We are dumbweek.com on demand.

Yury:

Oh, we should start a monthly service like Netflix and Hulu we'll just be on demand.

Yury:

We'll sit in front of our computers, 24 hours a day, waiting for

Yury:

someone to buy tokens with Bitcoin.

Yury:

How much does it cost to get 10 minutes of dumbweek.com live?

Yury:

Oh point 0000000003.

Yury:

Bitcoins.

Garrett:

I'm sorry.

Garrett:

Is that them paying us for our time or do we have to pay them to listen?

Yury:

We have to see how the next couple of months goes.

Garrett:

All right, fine.

Garrett:

Hey, can we get into the game now?

Yury:

Garrett, I'm sure you're aware how the game fill in the dumb works.

Yury:

Normally we have a guest host to play along with us, but this week is a little

Yury:

different today as our guest host.

Yury:

I am featuring you.

Yury:

Basically, we don't have a guest host is what I'm saying.

Yury:

We have nobody.

Yury:

So you're going to play, but I'm going to, I'm going to kick

Yury:

up the stakes a little bit.

Garrett:

So I'm guaranteed to win, right?

Yury:

You are not guaranteed to win.

Yury:

Cause I still make up the rules and I still assign points the way I deem fit.

Garrett:

All right, I'll give it a try.

Yury:

Anyway.

Yury:

Here's how going to up the ante a little bit, Garrett, I will give you $50 for

Yury:

every answer that you get correct.

Yury:

You have a chance of winning $150.

Garrett:

Wow.

Garrett:

I I'm, I'm like blown away, dude.

Garrett:

Like we didn't set this up ahead of time.

Yury:

We did not set this up ahead of time and I was shocked $50,

Yury:

but there are some rules here.

Yury:

You need to keep your hands on the microphone so I could see them to ensure

Yury:

that you are not Googling anything.

Garrett:

What's a Google?

Yury:

And for every answer you get correct.

Yury:

I will give you $50.

Garrett:

Okay.

Garrett:

I'm ready.

Garrett:

Let's do this.

Yury:

Okay.

Yury:

Every time I can't see your hands on the microphone, I

Yury:

will deduct $30 from the prize.

Yury:

Okay, good.

Yury:

I can see your hands starting with the university of Kentucky,

Yury:

which is in the state of Kentucky.

Yury:

If you weren't aware.

Yury:

The university of Kentucky mistakenly sent blank and your possible answers

Yury:

are diplomas to students that had failed, tuition checks instead of

Yury:

tuition bills, or half a million acceptance letters and taking it

Yury:

over to Garrett since he's our only,

Garrett:

all right.

Garrett:

So we've got three options here.

Garrett:

Uh, and I'm sorry, where did you say this university was?

Yury:

Kentucky.

Yury:

The state of Kentucky.

Yury:

They have a university, the U of K I I'm assuming it's U of K.

Garrett:

So either sent out diplomas to students who failed,

Yury:

correct

Garrett:

tuition checks

Yury:

Actually, possibly correct.

Garrett:

That's fair tuition checks instead of tuition bills.

Garrett:

Or half a million acceptance letters.

Garrett:

Wow.

Garrett:

Well, half a million acceptance letters seems way too obvious.

Garrett:

It is college acceptance season though.

Garrett:

So maybe that is the right answer diplomas to students who failed.

Garrett:

I don't think it's the right time of year for that, but the tuition checks

Garrett:

instead of tuition bills, that one kind of made me think, I mean, in the grand

Garrett:

scheme of things, if they screwed up and sent tuition checks, instead of a tuition

Garrett:

bill, They could just cancel the checks right, and save themselves the money?

Yury:

Sure.

Garrett:

That's probably what they would talk about.

Garrett:

I don't think they would want to openly talk about accidentally

Garrett:

sending out diplomas or half a million acceptance letters.

Garrett:

So you know what I'm going to lock in with tuition checks and Yury.

Garrett:

I'm ready for my first $50.

Garrett:

Tell me I'm right now.

Yury:

So Garrett locks in tuition checks were accidentally sent out

Yury:

well, First answer is incorrect.

Yury:

The technical issues at the university of Kentucky cost 500,000

Yury:

high school seniors to be accepted into a program that only usually

Yury:

accepts about three dozen students.

Yury:

The school followed up with another email less than 24 hours later.

Yury:

And apologized for its mistakes stating our bad.

Garrett:

Hold on.

Garrett:

So does it say what the program was?

Garrett:

They were accidentally accepted into

Yury:

agricultural mathematics, chicken plus chicken equals chickens.

Garrett:

All right.

Garrett:

Well, I didn't get that one right

Yury:

Out of 150.

Yury:

You've lost 50 you're down to a hundred dollars that you are possibly able to win.

Garrett:

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Garrett:

You didn't tell me.

Garrett:

I started with $150.

Garrett:

Had you told me that?

Garrett:

I would've said, fuck it.

Garrett:

Let's not play the game.

Garrett:

I just want the money and let's call it a day.

Yury:

Clearly you went to agricultural mathematics school.

Yury:

So I'm going to agree with you on that one and say, you start at

Yury:

zero and you've won nothing so far.

Garrett:

I want my chicken,

Yury:

Onto the second question.

Yury:

A New Mexico man returned to his car after shopping and

Yury:

found 15,000 blank in his car.

Yury:

Your possible answers are dollars pennies, or bees.

Garrett:

Let's see if I can figure this out together.

Garrett:

So New Mexico, 15,000 blanks after he went shopping dollars pennies or bees.

Yury:

Correct.

Garrett:

I'm going to have to rule out bees because I don't think there's

Garrett:

15,000 bees left anywhere oh sad sound.

Yury:

That'd be a lot of bees by the way.

Garrett:

A lot of bees and I would run away because I don't like bees.

Garrett:

Uh, I love bees.

Garrett:

Don't get me wrong.

Garrett:

Sorry, but I just don't want to get stung by 15,000 bees.

Garrett:

I remember when they had those killer bees that were like swarming in

Garrett:

high school and like Junior High and they told us like, don't go outside.

Yury:

Oh, I thought you were talking about the murder Hornets from last year.

Garrett:

Oh no, that's a whole nother thing.

Garrett:

I'm talking about the killer bees,

Yury:

Why is it every decade we get scared with some kind of new strain of bee.

Yury:

So there was killer bees and then that kind of died out and then they're like

Yury:

murder Hornets, and that kind of died out.

Yury:

And now there's going to be like, Teradactyl honey bees that could

Yury:

live for 10 minutes after they die.

Garrett:

We're going to be the ones that die out, not them.

Yury:

Correct.

Garrett:

15,000 dollars, pennies or bees.

Garrett:

So I've ruled out bees.

Garrett:

I don't know how there would be 15,000 pennies anywhere.

Garrett:

So I'm going to say this one is $15,000.

Yury:

Now, before I give you the correct answer, 15,000 pennies, I don't

Yury:

think that would be that much, right?

Yury:

That's the only, like it's $150.

Yury:

I didn't do well in math.

Garrett:

What is that in agricultural math?

Yury:

I went to the university of Kentucky, uh, agricultural

Yury:

mathematics division.

Yury:

That's going to be our new merch shirt by the way, university of

Yury:

Kentucky, agricultural mathematics.

Garrett:

Is it going to have a picture of chickens?

Yury:

It's going to be like alumni.

Garrett:

I just did some quick math and 15,000 pennies is only 150 bucks.

Garrett:

So I'm more thinking it's, there's not a chance.

Garrett:

It's 15,000 pennies.

Garrett:

Cause that's a lot of fricking pennies to throw in someone's car.

Yury:

Sure.

Yury:

But somebody would throw in $15,000?

Garrett:

Hey man, maybe it was like undercover millionaire, undercover boss.

Garrett:

One of those shows where they come knocking on your door.

Garrett:

Normally they knock on your door.

Garrett:

This time they saw this guy's car and they're like, ah, this guy

Garrett:

looks like he's living in poverty.

Garrett:

His car looks terrible.

Garrett:

Uh, here let's just give them $15,000.

Garrett:

I'm still sticking with $15,000 Yury.

Yury:

Well, there Garrett earlier this week, a man left an

Yury:

Albertson's grocery store, and when he returned to his vehicle,

Yury:

to which he left his windows open.

Yury:

He found 15,000 bees.

Garrett:

Shut the front door.

Yury:

And actually he didn't find them at first.

Yury:

It wasn't until he started to drive off that he noticed the thousands

Yury:

of bees taking the trip with him.

Garrett:

All right.

Garrett:

I call bullshit.

Garrett:

How do you not notice 15,000 bees in your car?

Garrett:

What kind of car was he driving?

Yury:

The fire department was soon on scene.

Yury:

Here's the best part.

Yury:

It just so happens.

Yury:

One of the firemen on scene.

Yury:

Was an experienced beekeeper.

Yury:

How random is that?

Yury:

Right?

Garrett:

What, what makes you an experienced beekeeper?

Garrett:

Is that like something you go to school for at the university of Kentucky?

Yury:

I think in 2021, and you watch a couple YouTube videos,

Yury:

you can be an expert in any field.

Garrett:

Yes.

Garrett:

I, I, that's how I got to become an expert in podcasting was watching

Garrett:

a couple of YouTube videos and I'm still working on that one.

Yury:

Yeah, I'm not a plumber, but I've seen some videos and

Yury:

I call myself an expert at like fixing leaky sinks and stuff.

Garrett:

Yeah.

Garrett:

And did they still remain not leaky after you're done or are they even worse?

Garrett:

Because typically when I'm done with them, they get worse.

Yury:

Depends on the youTube video you watch in this case, no major

Yury:

injuries were reported, but an Albertson security guard was stung.

Garrett:

15,000 bees?

Garrett:

Dude.

Garrett:

That's a lot of bees.

Yury:

You will hear them, right?

Yury:

You think you get in the car and you would hear like the hum of bees.

Garrett:

That's what I'm saying.

Garrett:

Like, I call them bullshit on this story because you would, there's no

Garrett:

way you could get into a car and not realize there's 15,000 bees in there.

Garrett:

So I think the story is bullshit.

Garrett:

And I think you owe me 50 bucks.

Yury:

I'm going to go ahead and disagree with you on that one,

Yury:

Garrett, I'm going to say the article was published on the internet, which

Yury:

means it was probably fact checked.

Garrett:

And if you believe that.

Garrett:

No, I doubt it, dude.

Garrett:

I'm sorry.

Garrett:

Let's let's just say everything on the internet is true, right?

Yury:

Is it not?

Garrett:

That's what we're going with?

Yury:

All right.

Yury:

For the last and final question at your chance to possibly win $50

Yury:

in Washington, a man was arrested for allegedly stealing blank.

Yury:

And your possible answers are a 400 pound playground slide, 85 chairs

Yury:

from a Denny's restaurant or 25 hotel shower heads off to you Garrett.

Garrett:

I'm sorry, I'm just sitting here envisioning, because I know one

Garrett:

of these answers is right, right.

Garrett:

So I'm envisioning some dude with a 400 pound playground slide going up to

Garrett:

a Denny's then subsequently stealing 85 chairs while he's carrying a bag

Garrett:

with 25 hotel shower heads in it.

Yury:

I mean, I can see a motive for wanting to steal, you know,

Yury:

any of these they're all plausable.

Garrett:

Is there, is there a D all of the above option?

Yury:

Unfortunately for your $50, there is not, but I've

Yury:

seen some nice Denny's chairs.

Yury:

Now.

Yury:

I wonder if it was like a Denny's chair or like the booth, because that

Yury:

would make a nice, like backyard band.

Garrett:

Now, listen, let's just talk about this for historical purposes,

Garrett:

because we don't know when people will actually hear this episode and

Garrett:

maybe you're listening to this in 2022 or 2023, when the world has gone

Garrett:

back to normal, but this is 2021.

Garrett:

And.

Garrett:

The fact is we're still stuck in outdoor dining, most places.

Garrett:

And so there's not going to be 85 chairs sitting around anywhere

Garrett:

unless you have a really gigantic parking lot because of all the social

Garrett:

distancing and all the other stuff.

Garrett:

Right?

Garrett:

So I don't think it's 85 chairs from a Denny's.

Garrett:

Twenty-five hotel, shower heads or 400 pound playground slide.

Garrett:

Does it say how fit this guy was?

Yury:

It shows a picture of him and he's pretty fit.

Yury:

Maybe mid thirties,

Garrett:

Mid thirties, so not rocking the dad bod, he's pretty fit.

Yury:

Looks clean.

Yury:

Like he's been freshly showered 25 times.

Garrett:

I was leaning towards the slide because you said he was

Garrett:

fit, but now you've got me leaning back towards the shower heads.

Garrett:

And now I got to think about this is Yury, trying to distract me so

Garrett:

I don't win the 50 bucks from him.

Yury:

He also looks well rested.

Yury:

Like he's been sitting

Garrett:

Now, I'm all screwed up.

Garrett:

Now I have no idea.

Garrett:

You know what?

Garrett:

I'm just going to take a guess because I have absolutely no idea what it could be.

Garrett:

So I'm just going to say it's the 25 hotel shower heads.

Yury:

And Garrett, you are actually correct.

Garrett:

What?

Yury:

No, I'm kidding.

Yury:

You're absolutely wrong on that one.

Garrett:

You suck!

Yury:

A Washington man was arrested for allegedly stealing

Yury:

a 400 pound playground slide.

Garrett:

Oh my God.

Yury:

The local police department was investigating

Yury:

thefts of catalytic converters.

Yury:

I have no idea what these are, what they do on a car, but apparently people have,

Garrett:

Oh my God, dude.

Garrett:

They're part of like the smog system and they get stolen all the

Garrett:

time because they're so expensive.

Yury:

So police were, filing a search warrant on a guy's house inside the house.

Yury:

This guy had stolen a 400 pound playground slide and attached it to the bunk bed in

Yury:

his kids were so, first of all, Bravo, like, well done this guy's my hero,

Yury:

not for stealing, but the creativity.

Garrett:

Totally.

Yury:

The police were able to solve this case of the missing slide.

Yury:

And of course they found a buttload of catalytic converters.

Yury:

That this guy was also stealing.

Garrett:

So, he used the slide to transport the catalytic converters

Garrett:

from the top bunk to the floor, right?

Yury:

Like a speedy system.

Yury:

He's like the McDonald's of catalytic converter theft

Garrett:

Damnit dude, that means I didn't get any right.

Yury:

You got nothing, man.

Yury:

I gave you a chance to win $150.

Garrett:

Even when it's just me playing the game.

Garrett:

I still can't fucking win anything.

Yury:

You know, I kept thinking it, you know, If I add some money to the game

Yury:

and give you like a prize, then it'll really make you kind of like think, try

Yury:

to figure out what's the correct answer.

Yury:

And clearly today you have proven me wrong.

Garrett:

Next week, we're adding lifelines.

Garrett:

That's all I'm saying.

Yury:

I think we should start adding lifelines.

Yury:

Well, that was this week's failed fill in the dumb.

Garrett:

Failed?

Garrett:

Makes me feel so good.

Garrett:

Yury.

Garrett:

Thanks so much.

Garrett:

I mentioned that my stories this week had a theme, right?

Garrett:

We're talking fast food

Yury:

Yep.

Yury:

We're like the Disneyland of podcasts.

Garrett:

So we talked about the woman shooting at the burger King.

Garrett:

Now we're going to talk about a little story that happened over in Maryland,

Garrett:

at a taco bell and the title of the article is off-duty correctional

Garrett:

officers allegedly run over a group of people and crash through Taco Bell.

Yury:

Well, I like the allegedly, like, but either did it or they didn't do

Garrett:

it.

Garrett:

I mean, it's ABC news on the website.

Garrett:

So they have to be super politically correct.

Garrett:

I guess,

Yury:

Sure, you're innocent until proven guilty.

Garrett:

They also put up a video of this happening.

Garrett:

And you can actually see in the video, this happened,

Yury:

well, hold on, they allegedly put up a video.

Garrett:

Well, unless somebody hacked their site, I'm pretty

Garrett:

sure they put this video up.

Garrett:

Two off duty, correction officers from Maryland are being charged with

Garrett:

attempted murder and a bunch of other crimes after they ran over a group of

Garrett:

people and then crash to the front of a taco bell and an apparent case of

Garrett:

yet again, Fast food order outrage.

Yury:

Was this like road rage over the fast food.

Garrett:

That's what they're calling it.

Garrett:

Fast food order outrage, which I guess is pretty much what happened

Garrett:

with the girl at burger King as well.

Garrett:

Right.

Garrett:

What gets me about this is these are off-duty correctional officers.

Garrett:

So you would think that they would be a little bit smarter.

Garrett:

I mean, at least they weren't.

Garrett:

Going in guns drawn and shooting up the place.

Yury:

Or, have some morals, maybe a little bit of integrity.

Garrett:

Integrity, thank you.

Garrett:

That's what I was looking for.

Garrett:

Integrity.

Garrett:

Uh, it says that, uh, Tanisha Williams, who was 25 and diamond Johnson who

Garrett:

were 28, had argued with workers in the drive-through about their food order.

Garrett:

After that they decided, you know what, I'm not done.

Garrett:

Like, you know how you kind of like, you get riled up about something

Garrett:

and then you just kind of leave.

Garrett:

Cause you're like, you know what?

Garrett:

This isn't worth my time.

Garrett:

I don't want to go to jail.

Garrett:

I'm not getting arrested.

Garrett:

Right.

Garrett:

Especially as a corrections officer, I would think they probably

Garrett:

would not want to go to jail.

Yury:

You would think because they've had an inside look at it.

Garrett:

Yeah, not really.

Garrett:

Right.

Garrett:

So this is after they argued with the drive-through worker, both women exited

Garrett:

the car and then one of them assaulted the employee through the window.

Garrett:

They got back into their car, drove around to the front of the taco bell.

Garrett:

Where the person who was driving the car, drove toward a group

Garrett:

of people before stopping.

Garrett:

So she didn't actually hit anybody.

Garrett:

She just drove towards them.

Garrett:

She's like, hi, I'm going to get you, hah.

Garrett:

Watch this.

Garrett:

And then she backed up.

Garrett:

Right?

Garrett:

She backs up.

Garrett:

The people are still taunting each other.

Garrett:

This time she drives towards the group again.

Garrett:

Plowing into the people.

Garrett:

You see bodies flying all over the place and then smashing through

Garrett:

the front of the restaurant.

Yury:

Oh, for Chalupa's sake.

Garrett:

Uh, the good news about this one though, Yury, although

Garrett:

there were multiple people injured, none, none of their injuries were

Garrett:

appearing to be life-threatening.

Garrett:

So people got hurt.

Yury:

She trampled through a crowd with a car.

Yury:

Nobody got major major, it says unreal, what kind of car was she driving?

Yury:

That must have been like a Tesla.

Yury:

Those things don't have much power.

Yury:

Right?

Garrett:

I think it was an older model, like Honda civic.

Garrett:

Uh, and so it had like that scooped hood on the front.

Garrett:

So when she hit the people, the people just kind of went flying.

Yury:

I'm going to run for governor and I'm going to run on the basis

Yury:

of creating a new law that all cars exterior wise will be made of Nerf.

Garrett:

I'm sorry.

Garrett:

Made of Nerf?

Yury:

Nerf, Nerf, like the foam Nerf guns.

Garrett:

And what is that going to do for us?

Yury:

Okay.

Yury:

Let's say you accidentally hit a pedestrian, but instead of killing them,

Yury:

you'll just get like a giggle out of them.

Yury:

You've been hit with a Nerf gun.

Garrett:

I have been hit with a Nerf gun.

Yury:

It always makes you giggle.

Garrett:

It does!

Garrett:

I can't, I can't argue with you on that.

Garrett:

You're absolutely right.

Garrett:

Interestingly enough, they are both now being held at the County detention center

Garrett:

where they both worked at,without bail.

Garrett:

So I imagine they're having a fun time right now.

Yury:

Well, that's embarrassing.

Yury:

Like, weren't you just here yesterday, working.

Yury:

Now you're in here.

Garrett:

I don't know what you're talking about.

Garrett:

I've never seen you before in my life.

Yury:

You know, I've been in many, many drive-throughs and I've gotten upset.

Garrett:

Oh, hold on.

Garrett:

I thought you were going to say I've been in many, many jails.

Garrett:

The story would have been completely different.

Garrett:

No, go ahead.

Garrett:

Sorry.

Yury:

That would have took a turn.

Yury:

I've been in many, many drive throughs as a patron, legally at an establishment.

Yury:

And I've been upset with many things, whether it's loud

Yury:

music or rude employees or.

Yury:

Loud music,

Garrett:

Or rude employees.

Yury:

Or rude employees.

Yury:

I've never, once in my car said, fuck it.

Yury:

I'm just going to kill everyone.

Garrett:

I can't say that I've ever had that much fast food order outrage.

Yury:

So do we have anyone for dummy of the week?

Garrett:

I'm glad you asked.

Voice Over:

It's time for the dummy of the week.

Voice Over:

Oh who will it be?

Voice Over:

Let's find out!

Garrett:

Our dummy of the week, this week comes from none other than

Yury:

Florida?

Garrett:

Florida.

Yury:

Uh, I knew it was Florida

Garrett:

And the title for this one was a man is accused of drinking Four Lokos now.

Garrett:

Okay.

Garrett:

I'm going to stop right now because I've never heard of this before.

Garrett:

Have you heard of these Four Lokos?

Yury:

Yah, it's a malted liquor drink comes in a can?

Garrett:

Well, apparently you drink more alcohol than I do

Garrett:

because I had never heard of it.

Yury:

They're super high.

Yury:

The alcohol content on them.

Yury:

Super high.

Garrett:

Well, apparently this man is accused of drinking Four Lokos

Garrett:

while he's injecting Botox on people.

Garrett:

Without even having a license to do so.

Yury:

Okay.

Yury:

You just threw a lot of information at me in one sitting.

Yury:

He's drinking four Locos

Garrett:

on the job,

Yury:

on the job, like a medical medical job.

Yury:

Yup.

Yury:

And he's injecting people with Botox?

Garrett:

No, that's exactly what's happening here, Yury.

Garrett:

So this guy is drinking on the job, working at this medical spa and giving

Garrett:

people Botox injections, and Oh, by the way, wasn't even licensed to

Garrett:

be doing Botox in the first place.

Yury:

See, this guy just got greedy with his immorality.

Yury:

So he doesn't have a license to give Botox injections.

Yury:

He's giving injections and he's drinking on the job

Garrett:

While he's giving the injections.

Garrett:

That is absolutely correct.

Garrett:

Just to make it even more interesting.

Yury:

There's more?

Garrett:

Oh, there's more, this guy was also receiving the Botox illegally.

Garrett:

Like the actual vials that he was using, he wasn't even supposed to have the Botox.

Garrett:

So he's stealing the Botox.

Yury:

Would you really expect someone who's not licensed

Yury:

drinking Four Lokos injecting Botox to obtain the Botox legally?

Garrett:

You know, how they finally caught him though.

Garrett:

A Sheriff's deputy went into the spa where he was working and posed as a client.

Garrett:

And when they got in.

Garrett:

Sat down for their Botox injection.

Garrett:

The guy says here have a four Lokos with me and they drank it together.

Yury:

What an awkward situation though, when the guy is coming at

Yury:

him with the needle and the cops like, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa.

Yury:

Or the officer comes out and he's drunk with Botox injections.

Yury:

And they're like, what happened?

Yury:

Did you arrest him?

Yury:

No man.

Yury:

But look, I can't smile.

Garrett:

I think you mean I can't frown.

Yury:

I can't frown.

Yury:

I can't smile.

Yury:

I can't do much smiling.

Garrett:

My face is frozen.

Yury:

Officer Jones, you're going to get fired because of this.

Yury:

Aren't you upset?

Yury:

I'm really upset.

Yury:

Can't you tell?

Garrett:

I'm devastated guys, but my tear ducts aren't working anymore.

Voice Over:

That was the dummy of the week.

Garrett:

Just about wraps it up for this week.

Garrett:

Thanks again for coming back and joining us for episode.

Garrett:

Number 11 of this week is dumb.

Garrett:

You know, if you're interested in coming and playing the fill in the dumb game

Garrett:

with us, or even being a full-blown guest host with us, shoot us a message.

Garrett:

Email us.

Garrett:

garrett@dumbweek.com or yury@dumbweek.com.

Garrett:

Check out the website dumbweek.com.

Garrett:

Follow us on all the social medias.

Garrett:

However you want to get in touch with us.

Garrett:

Call the fandom line text the fandom line 888-FAN-DUMB that's

Garrett:

888-FAN-DUMB, F a N D U M B.

Garrett:

And you too, might be able to try to beat me in the next fill in the dumb game.

Garrett:

And I've heard Yury say he might put that 50 bucks back on

Garrett:

the table for our next guest.

Yury:

Yes, we'll see.

Yury:

We'll see how the next couple of weeks go.

Garrett:

Remember, please rate and subscribe to the podcast, share us with

Garrett:

your friends so that your friends get to hear the dumbness that we're involved in

Garrett:

and the dumbness that you're listening to keep coming back and we'll keep bringing

Garrett:

out this stuff for you every week.

Garrett:

So thanks for joining us again this week and we'll see, see you next time.

Links