One woman's share on a client panel made Erica ugly cry. And it sparked something and has inspired a whole summer series.

In this episode, Erica starts to explore what it looks like to start loving yourself through learning Human Design. We all grew up with a healthy dose of ways we should look and messages from magazines, TV, advertising, and family. And what if our flaws were gifts?

Learn more about the summer-long series – the Summer of Self-Love.

---

Book your Life Patterns Review here.

Follow me on Substack: https://substack.com/@ericavoell

Get the latest email newsletter: https://ericavoell.com/newsletter

Connect with me: erica[at]ericavoell[dot]com

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ericavoell.coaching/

Welcome to the Unfolding podcast, a space where we explore what

2

it looks like to really trust yourself,

say no without guilt, and live your

3

life like it actually belongs to you.

4

I am Erica Voell, a decision mentor

and inner trust guide, and I help

5

women in midlife untangle from the life

patterns of shape-shifting and keeping

6

everyone else happy, claim how they are

uniquely designed to make decisions,

7

and understand their unique strengths.

8

Using human design as a lens, we clear the

noise of conditioning so their no feels

9

powerful and their yes feels true, and

they can move forward without self-doubt,

10

guilt, or the pressure to prove anything.

11

On this show, we have honest conversations

about self-trust, boundaries, energy,

12

and identity, especially for women

in midlife who are done living by the

13

shoulds and second-guessing themselves.

14

If you have taken every personality

test, followed the recommended path, and

15

still can't shake the feeling that you've

been spending your whole life trying to

16

fit in when what you really wanted was

to belong, you are in the right place.

17

You'll hear stories, insights,

and tools rooted in human

18

design, coaching, and real life.

19

Not to tell you what to do like

another self-help book, but to help you

20

really hear yourself so you can stop

overthinking and start making decisions

21

that feel grounded, clear, and true.

22

A few weeks ago, I was watching a client

panel that was part of a master class

23

that my mentor was hosting, and one

of the women shared how Human Design

24

helped her learn to love herself.

25

Everyone was getting teary-eyed as

she spoke, and me, I had big tears,

26

and then I full-on started ugly

crying, and it lasted for a while.

27

I had to gather myself to go

pick up my daughter from school.

28

But while I was waiting in front of

the school to pick her up, I reached

29

out to the woman who had shared, and I

said that I had a similar experience.

30

I felt like for most of my life, that

there was something wrong with my body.

31

There were always things

that needed to be fixed.

32

There's a list I had thought for so

much of my life that was wrong with me.

33

I wasn't tall enough.

34

I wasn't thin enough.

35

I was too sensitive.

36

I was too moody.

37

I was too emotional.

38

I was too strong at times.

39

I was too critical.

40

I mean, goodness, the

list could go on for days.

41

But learning my Human Design

was such a game changer, and I

42

know I say that a lot, but Human

Design literally changed my life.

43

It's, it's so true.

44

I started to see myself not as someone

that needed to be fixed or needed

45

to read another self-help book.

46

I actually started to understand

that I was perfectly designed,

47

even if they were seen as flaws.

48

What others saw as a gap turned out

to be a gift, and my sensitivity has

49

me so in tune with others around me.

50

I can sense how things

are going in a group.

51

I can't explain how it happens.

52

I just…

53

there's just something sensitive about me.

54

My feelings of lack of self-worth

are a lesson for my entire life to

55

learn that I have nothing to prove.

56

And then the next morning

after this client panel, I was

57

meditating, and I had this download.

58

And if this has been the experience

of two women, I was wondering what

59

is the experience of more women?

60

So I started to reach out to a few people,

and I learned that while our experiences

61

with human design are unique for each one

of us, we all experience it differently.

62

The theme of learning to be less critical

and more accepting of ourselves seemed to

63

carry through other women's experiences.

64

All just because I s- put out a short

calling that said, " I'm writing

65

about self-love and how we talk to

ourselves as women for a series.

66

I'm going to be exploring it

through hu- the human design lens.

67

If you have had a rocky relationship

with your body, loving yourself,

68

or having a history of criticizing

yourself, I want to hear from you."

69

Everyone I reached out to said yes,

and I had even more people respond.

70

I know as women we've been raised

with a healthy dose of self-criticism.

71

In the US, in the '80s and the

'90s, we grew up with Seventeen

72

and Sassy magazines, which then

moved us into Vogue and Elle.

73

There were models on the covers that

we hoped we would look like one day.

74

SlimFast weight loss shakes.

75

I mean, we all watched Oprah's

weight loss and weight gain

76

journeys on The Oprah Show.

77

There was a makeup and hair

product industry that's still

78

around that was going to make us

beautiful with long, luxurious hair,

79

even if we had super fine hair.

80

Women's bodies and clothing were

the butt of jokes on TV, and that's

81

all on top of any criticism we

received from friends or family.

82

I was told to stand up straight

because I didn't want my stomach

83

to pooch out and look fat.

84

That's what I was told

when I was 10 years old.

85

Or my grandmother saying, "Erica,

stop frowning," when I was just

86

relaxing my face watching TV.

87

There was a healthy dose of criticism of

other women's bodies in my family too,

88

and it continues through to this day.

89

That is a pattern I am

really focusing on breaking.

90

I still hear, "Can you

believe what so-and-so wore?"

91

And I know we were not alone in

this in the US with this constant

92

bombardment of advertising and messaging.

93

And is it any wonder that women

in their 40s and 50s and 60s have

94

carried with them a strong case

of self-criticism, self-loathing,

95

feelings of unworthiness, and feeling

like that their body was less than?

96

I know for me as a 13-year-old, I

would always be disappointed when

97

I would get a great outfit that I

either saw on a mannequin in the

98

store or in a magazine because it

would look different on my short body.

99

I'm not even five feet tall, so of

course it looked different compared

100

to the models and the mannequins that

were, like, practically six feet tall.

101

But there was a part of me that always

held out hope, and I don't think

102

any of us are alone in that feeling.

103

So this summer is inspired

by this one woman's share on

104

the masterclass client panel.

105

It's going to be the summer of

falling in love with ourselves again.

106

I'm calling it the summer of self-love.

107

I will be right along the journey with

you because I feel like we all need

108

some reminders now and then, and I'm not

leaving behind the powerful experience

109

of women trusting their own voices.

110

This is just an evolution.

111

Our inner voice is just as important

as our outer voice, and we know that

112

when we feel good inside and confident,

that that also affects our outer voice.

113

Some topics that are s- floating around

my head right now are the shoulds in

114

self-love, shame and self-love, the

lessons of my life's work in human design

115

and how more flow and less habit tracking

shifted my relationship with myself, our

116

inner voice and our self-love, self-love

and where it shows up in the human

117

design chart, and then learning to love

yourself, learning your human design.

118

I can't wait to share this with you,

and I'm so excited to see how this

119

project evolves through the summer.

120

Nothing is really planned yet.

121

I have a couple of questions I'm

sending out to people that are

122

participating in the interviews.

123

We're going to be exploring self-love

through human design, and I'll be

124

interviewing women for the articles,

which are always podcast episodes,

125

as well as doing Substack Lives.

126

And at this time, I am also going

to be profiling each of the women

127

who are interested in participating.

128

There will also be a couple of

workshops that I'm going to be

129

developing as we go along this summer.

130

I have no idea what

they're gonna look like.

131

I'm just putting that out there.

132

But I feel like there's a workshop

in-- coming through, so stay tuned.

133

And I'm so grateful for-- that

you're here, and I think it's

134

going to be an amazing summer.

135

So thank you for listening.

136

And if this episode resonated

with you, I would be so grateful

137

if you click the plus sign to

subscribe or share it with a friend.

138

You can also find me on Substack, where

I publish articles, host workshops, and

139

share more about human design and midlife.

140

Thanks for joining me, be well,

and I will talk to you next time