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S3 Ep 5: A Clone Again, Naturally
Episode 64th May 2022 • The Green Horizon • Paul Walsh
00:00:00 00:33:08

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Chaos ensues aboard The Green Horizon when Sonya falls asleep at the helm.

Created and Written by Paul Walsh


Kieran Walsh as Gino Whelan

Caoimhe Walsh as Sonya Halley

Steven Stubbs as Bernard Dooley

Amy Jackman as Jilly Whelan

Paul Walsh as Peter Savage

Amy Rothwell as RedBekka Roy

Claire Cullen Delsol as Sister Modesty


Amy Orr as Vraxia Le Thor


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Augmentations by Kai Engel

Blackout Romeo by The Spin Wires


SFX sourced on

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Qubodup- Sci fi Laboratory Ambience

The Green Horizon is a Lovie Awards shortlisted sci-fi audio comedy that focuses on a na'er - do - well Irish space captain and his rag-tag crew as they traverse a war-torn Galaxy in search of fame and fortune.

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Season 3 Episode 5

A Clone Again, Naturally

INT: VRAXIA LE THOR is drinking at her desk aboard The Peacekeeper. SISTER MODESTY enters.

VLT: Sister Modesty...What do you think of my redecoration? [Laughs] I'm especially fond of the scorched pillars...[sniffs] Can't quite get the smell of burned hair and flesh out [sprays aerosol] No matter how much odour eater I use.

SM: Corypheus...You shouldn't be working here, not until our engineering team ensure the structure is secure.

VLT: Oh fuck it Modesty...I'm too important to die. The same can't be said of my dear Bombus however...I shall miss him. I will hand it to the Syndicate, it was quite a novel assasination attempt, Liquid Explosive in a wine bottle...They knew I couldn't resist a good Morosian.

SM: Corypheus...I'm afraid I must be the bearer of more ill tidings.

VLT: Must you? I'm still in mourning.

SM: Ms. Le Thor...Our attempts to contact the Syndicate has failed. On top of that, they are now in open competition with us by attempting to seduce Lord Sterling with their own supply opportunities.

VLT: Surely he won't bite? The Syndicate are nothing but gangsters on Tabriz carpet.

SM: I'm afraid they're near an agreement. It seems your efforts to avoid his emmisaries have-

VLT: Do I detect judgement in your voice Sister?

SM: No Corypheus...It's just...We've worked so hard-

VLT: I've worked so hard.

SM: Yes...And...I'm growing concerned that your fixation on The Green Horizon has resulted in our...Your ventures...Falling by the wayside.

VLT: Modesty...I do not employ you to give opinions. Your job is to command the Hellions...Not me...When I want your advice, I'll ask for it.

Door opens in the background, footsteps approaching

SM: Yes Corypheus.

VLT: Acolyte Charity...To what to we owe the interruption?

AC: Corypheus...It's The Green Horizon. A ship by that name reported a missing child to the staff of a Largos Emporium in the Tantam Void.

SM: What? Show me the report!

VLT: When did this occur Acolyte?

AC: Two weeks ago Corypheus.

VLT: And how am I only hearing this now?

SM: The employees of a Largos took it upon themselves to report a missing child to the local constabulary after the captain reported it to them. It then sat on the desk of the Sherriff for some time before he sent it on to a Pylorian Representative. Bloody Voiders.

VLT: We must act now. Sister Modesty, inform Helm that we shall be embarking immediately. From there, it shouldn't be too hard to follow the breadcrumbs.

SM: Yes Corypheus.

VLT: Acolyte Charity...

AC: Yes Corypheus?

Vraxia opens her drawer, and throws some coins on the table.

VLT: Good work.

AC: Thank you Corypheus.

VLT:[sighs with relief] Don't go far Green Horizon...We're coming.


INT: ALL CREW are present in this opening scene, which takes place in the cockpit.

G: [Enters the cockpit] Okay lads, the trap is set!

RR: Ewww...You mean the meat bucket?

G: Yes...It's not my fault Ferrets are strictly carnivores...Jilly.

J: What?

G: I've seen you feed Frank Custard Creams under the table more than once. You'll need to cut that shit out if you want him to have a nice shiny coat.

RR: Where is Frank?

J: You mean Francesca? Don't worry, I've separated her from her babies...I just wish you weren't using my room as the scene for your weird science experiment.

G: Well Jilly...I wouldn't've needed to had you not made sure than when you bought Frank, he was not in fact a heavily pregnant she...Whose babies have practically taken over the ship! Could you imagine if we were chosen for a full-hull scan when we docked at the Gypsy or The New Spokane? Our grandchildren would still be paying the fines.

J: I thought it was just a bit of water weight.

G: Yeah, well...It's grand now because Captain Amazing has saved the day. From the cockpit, I shall open the Ducts to Jilly's room, the lofty stench of carrion meat will waft through the vents and...As moths to a flame the Ferrets will enter the bedroom and...While they're hopefully covering your carpet and linens in blood I'll close the ducts and trap them inside...I'm going to pat myself on the back now...[Patting] Pat, pat pat.

J: [Tuts] Wankbag.

RR: I still think scorpions would've been a better idea.

J: I don't think Francesca likes scorpions.

RR: I don't think she gets a choice.

J: And you're sure The Providence is happy to take them Gino?

G: Yep! Turns out the Hydroponics section of the ship has a pretty bad rat infestation and Ferrets are extremely good at pest control. They're even going to pay us a small amount for each little hairy fecker.

J: So...What you're saying is...I saved the day?

G: No. You released an infestation of wire chewing monsters on our ship.


B: To be fair Gino, they did get rid of our rodent problem.

G: You don't get a say in this, I'm still not talking to you...I can't believe you knew and never told me!

B: I was going to...But then...I don't know if you remember but I ingested a massive dose of LSD and funnily enough that entire week is a blur to me.

G: Apology accepted. How are the engines?

B: Looking good. That little warning shot from Primus Cydron knocked the plasma manifolds out of line but...I managed to fix them.

G: Pat yourself on the back Bernard...I did...I might do it again. [Pats own back] Pat, pat, pat. Oh, I'm just so great.

RR: Notions.

B: What's our route Jill?

J: Well, I was going to plan out a lovely scenic route around a few lovely comets...But Captain Pennypincher over here said it would [mockingly] Cost too much money!

G: Jill...That trip would've spent all of our fuel by the time we'd reach The Providence.

J: Enjoyment doesn't have a price Gino.

G: I know a good few Alchemelian Escorts that'd beg to differ.

RR: Can I take a guess as to the route we're taking?

G: Yeah...Go on Officer-In-Training.

J: How come you never offered me an internship Gino?

G: Jill...I did! And you said and I quote "Gino, the thought of working for you for the next 7 years would make me jump out the airlock."

J: [laughs] Oh yeah...I did say that! How long ago was that again?

G: Three years.

J: [sad] Oh.

RR: Anyway...Using the Starmaps and factoring in Gravitational drag, asteroid trajectories, Raider zones and of course traffic...I'd say we're taking Vector K221 through the Vantus Expanse.

G: That's exactly right!

B: impressive.

J: A lucky guess.

SONYA Appears

S: [Yawning] Jesus Christ...I'm wrecked. What time is it?

G: Tuesday.

S: What?!

J: You slept for 20 hours Sonya.

S: Why didn't ye'e wake me? I missed my late night shift!

G: Well you looked so peaceful I didn't want to disturb you.

S: Euch, how long did you watch me sleep for?

G: Long enough to know you do this cute little thing with you nose and-


G: [Clears throat] Not long. I'm not as bed as feckface in the scuttlebug.

RR: [Sing-Song] Wierdo.

G: Actually, I'm glad you got a good sleep. You've been working too many night shifts Sonya...I need you alert and sober to...You know...Compensate.

S: [sighs] Yeah maybe. So, what's our current situation?

G: Well, we're about to take a nice, slow, Energy Conserving...Jilly-

J: Shag off.

G: 26 hour run through the Vantus Expanse. We've got the time now so I want to conserve our light reserves.

P: [Radio] Guys, I'm ready to go.

G: Good man Peter...And don't forget to be creative! Remember, god put them there to be kicked!

S: What's going on?

G: I'm glad you asked! See, because of our current ferret infestation that I only found out about now-

S: Oh...Shit...Franks babies.

J: [Corrective and angry] Francesca!

S: I totally meant to tell you but...I forgot? Jesus, maybe I do need to ease up.

G: Don't worry...I've sorted it. But it does mean that we can't risk docking with The New Spokane so... I'm sending Peter in the Bug to lodge a very painful complaint.

S: Sounds good. I have to say Gino, everything seems nicely organized. You should pat yourself on the back-


B: Stop!

RR: Don't you dare!

J: No!


INT: The Cockpit of The Green Horizon. GINO & REDBEKKA at the helm.

G: [Concentrating] Alright Becks...Easy does it...Careful! One wrong move and everything comes crashing down!

RR: Gino...It's Jenga.

G: Whether it's Jenga or spaceflight...The key to mastery is-

The Jenga set falls.

RR: [sighs in frustration]

G: Precision.

RR: Isn't there something more exciting I can do? Like weave through comets or...Blast Space rocks?

G: Well it's called the Vantus Expanse for a reason Becks...It's the Voidiest part of the Void.

RR: Ugh, it reminds me of driving through the Dune Roads of Penthus. Just miles on miles of the same red sand.

SONYA Approaches

G: Yep, another 20 hours of sheer...Nothingness. Fun times. Not that you'll have to suffer it though...Your shift is up.

S: So is yours.

G: No it's not. I'm rota'd in for the graveyard shift. I've got a stack of cook books ready to be earmarked and never opened again.

S: Gino, Bernard and Jilly are down in the canteen doing shots and talking about the good old times. You're joining them.

G: But...Who'll take the night shift?

S: Me.

G: Sonya, we spoke about this-

S: Yes...And I promise, starting tomorrow I'll ease up on the workload...But until then, I missed my shift and let you down...Please, I want to do this.

G: Alright...The helm is yours First Officer.

S: Excellent.

RR: Awesome! Let's go get wasted Captain!

G: Nice try Junior Officer. Go to bed. You're relieving Sonya here at 6 am.

RR: Solo?

G: Chewy?

S: [sighs] Yes Becks...You'll be manning the helm until 7am by yourself. Feel up to it?

RR: Fuck yeah! Bye Guys! [giggling as she walks away]

S: She'll be fine won't she? Like...if anything happens she can just raise the alarm...Right?

G: I hope that's not an evil laugh.

S: Right...Off you go.

G: Erm yeah...Not much in terms of reporting or notes of interest-

S: Just go.

G: [Running away] Okay, yeah see you later bye!

Sonya sighs, sits down in the captain's chair and picks up one of Gino's cook books.

S: Ooh...Focaccia bread.


INT: The canteen of The Green Horizon. JILLY, BERNARD & GINO are at the table drinking.

J: Cheers lads!

Glasses clink

G: Ack! Bernard this is some strong stuff!

B: Demetrian Malt...Just a few shades down from Moonshine.

J: Don't talk to me about Moonshine, the last time I had that-

G: Oh yeah I remember...It was just before we came to Penthus...Before-

B: Before the others joined. Yeah I remember that...[laughs] Jilly tried to convince us she was a Starfish. She tried sticking herself to the walls.

G: [Laughing] "Look at me Gino! I'll stick to anything!"

J: Oh god...I was out of it, that stuff does something to me.

G: Hey...You know this is the first time since then that it's been just the three of us...That's mad.

B: What's madder is the people we took on. A teachers pet, a child and a feckin Vegetable artist.

J: Yeah...We wouldn't get away with 'Gatlin Lazer Asteroid Snooker' these days with the commandant upstairs.

G: Hey now, you have to admit she's been really good for us...Plus, you can't say much considering you're dating the most annoying human being on the planet.

J: Yeah[Laughs]...He is annoying isn't he? But I really like him.

B: He's certainly better than your last few escapades Jill.

G: And how's your romantic life going for you Bernard?

B: [sarcastic] Enthralling Gino...Haven't you seen revolving door of gorgeous men coming in and out of the Engine room?

G: If you're struggling for love Bernie there's this new dating site called 'Shifter' and-

B: I'm going to stop you there Gino.

G: Oh?

B: Nothing more just...Stop.

J: I can't believe I'm the only one in a semi-stable relationship right now. I think I deserve to drink to that!

G: Ugh...I'm just going to drink.

B: Cheers lads...To life in space...And all the romantic possibilities that don't come with it.

J: Cheers.

G: Cheers.

Glasses clink


Int: The Pawnshop Plutus Pawn of The New Spokane. Peter enters.

P: Hello? Hello! Mr. Pawnshop person? I'm here to uh...Beat you up. Also, do you validate parking?

Felix (F): [voice obscured by mask] Mr. Plutus won't be seeing anyone anytime soon.

P: Woah...Nice tactical mask you got there buddy! What is that? A12 Anti-Shrapnel gas-filtration model?

F: I'm sorry Peter.

P: How do you know my name?

Felix takes off his mask.

F: Because I'm you.

Smack. Fade out.


Fade in.

INT: The cockpit of The Green Horizon. REDBEKKA voice fading in, SONYA is asleep at the helm, the book sprawled open on her face. An alarm is going off in the background. Sonya wakes up:

RR: Sonya! Sonya! Wake up Sonya! There's serious shit happening!

S: Linguinie! RedBekka? What...Are you here to relieve me?

RR: It's 2am!

S: It is? Then...What...What's the alarm?

RR: I was hoping you'd tell me!

S: Oh...Shit...I...I fell asleep at the helm.

Sonya rolls the chair across the room, turns off the alarm and scans the threat.

S: Shit...Pirates. It's one single vessel. An old first generation junker.

RR: Is that good?

S: Yeah it's slow...It must think we're in trouble because we're drifing on autopilot...We're going to have to burn light fuel to make up for the time I've lost...Shit, I fucked up bad Becks.

RR: We can worry about that later. Let's Max Light the fuck out of here.

S: Agreed. Okay, switching from Auto-Pilot.


RR: Sonya?

S: Ehhh-

RR: What's wrong?

S: I've...Forgotten the code.

RR: What?! You're First Officer!

S: I know! I...I think Jilly rotated the Password this time...She told me but...I can't remember. Gino was right, I'm not fit to fly.

RR: Okay then let's ask Jilly.

S: I'm way ahead of you. Stay here, monitor the Junker and I'll be back.

RR: Okay.

Sonya runs out the room and down the corridor cursing herself all the while.

S: Shit...Shit...Shit! I fucked up sooo bad...Why? Why did I have to fall asleep?

She opens the door to Jilly's room and is immediately greeted by dozens of wild ferrets.

She promptly closes the door.

S: Ferrets!....So many Ferrets!


INT: An unknown secure room on The New Spokane. PETER wakes up. THE LIQUIDATOR (L)is speaking as Peter comes to.

L: 10 years, 3 months, 4 days and 17 hours.

P: What? What's happening?

L: I've been looking for you for a long...Long time my friend.

Felix (F) approaches

F: 10 years, 3 months, 4 days and 17 hours...To be exact.

P: What??Fancy Hat Peter...What are you doing?

L: He's delirious Felix! [laughs] Tell me Peter, I need to know...How did you evade us for so long?

P: What are you talking about? Who are you? Why did you call one of my imaginary Peters' Felix?

F: He doesn't know. How doesn't he know? They were all told.

P: Told what?

L: What did your parents tell you...Of your heritage?

P: Nothin'. Only that I was...Left on a startship.

L: [realizing] Of course. That's how he's been able to evade us for so long! The others were easy to track because they followed the same steps...The same attempts to hide from us...But this one...Followed an unknown path!

F: The Wildcard Twin.

P: Twin? Wait...We're-

F: Brothers.

P: Woah...Umm...Hi? Do you like...Stuff?

L: Felix likes what I tell him to like.

P: Do you know where our mother is Felix?

L: Don't speak to him, you speak to me.

P: What do you want?

L: What do I want? [Laughs] A decade I spent...Hunting you... The last twin. So much wasted time spent combing the Colonies and Townships of the Lurican System. That's where I found the others...How was I to know you'd be dozens of systems away? Then I hear that a team of crack mercenaries take down the infamous Gracia Mal in Prometheus and I wonder...Could it be him? Once I got here I infiltrated the P.A.D.S and found your DNA profile. Then it was a simple task of following your waketrail...You've been a busy man Peter Savage.

P: Wait...My parents-

L: Are perfectly safe...My job isn't to liquidate them...It's to liquidate you.

P: Liquidate? You mean-

Gun Cocks

P: Beans.


INT: The Green Horizon canteen. JILLY, GINO & BERNARD are passed out at the kitchen table. SONYA bursts in.

S: Jilly! Gino! Bernard! There ye'e are...Woah...Ye'e drank alot of whiskey.

G: [Drunken mumbling]

S: Gino we're under attack...What's the code to helm control?

G: [More drunken mumbling] Toast!

S: Is...Is that the code or do you want toast?

G: Yes...[mumbling] Toast...Want toast...Butter.

S: Feck sake...Bernard! Wake up!

B: Oh...Hello there.

S: Bernard wha's the code to unlock autopilot?

B: You know...I don't remember...I think...I think the LCD...Fizzled away the memory...Lemony...Toast.

G: Toast!

B: Sonya make toast!

S: Oh my god...Jilly!

J: Urgh...No...[shushing]

S: Jilly seriously what's the code we're going to die!

J: I love Frank.

S: Yes I know you love Frank but I need the code!

J: Toast!

G: Toast!

B: Toast!

S: Oh my god...We're going to die.


INT: An unknown secure room on The New Spokane. PETER, THE LIQUIDATOR & FELIX.

P: You're...You're not going to shoot me...Brother?

L: [Laughs] You really believe that he cares your're brothers? Felix is nothing. A souless killer.

P: What happened to our mother Felix?

F: She-

L: Felix! Shut up! Kill him!

P: Wait...Before I die...I deserve to know what happened to her...Why was I left on that Starship, Felix?

L: Hmm...I suppose I owe you that. You remember I said that we'd been tracking you since the Gracia Mal? Well, we know you found The Blacksite...And the clones.

P: Wait...Are you saying we're-

L: Yes...And no. You see...There's more than one nameless faceless shadow organisation out there...And there's more than one engaging in genetic experimentation. You...Peter...Are one such experiment. You...And your 6 brothers.

P: Six?!

F: It's just us now Peter.

L: Felix and I made sure of that. 29 years ago, a slave woman was chosen to be the subject of a mass breeding programme. She was to bear 7...Each one identical, your DNA altered to make you stronger, tougher, faster reflexes...Unfortunately, the experiment was a failure.

P: How?

L: The first step was a success. They had indeed managed to produce 7 identical boys...Ohh, they were so excited. But then...They did their tests and found...Well-

F: Cognitive faults.

P: Huh?

L: You were too stupid! [laughs]

P: Did it say anything about creativity?

L: What the fuck...Creativity? [laughs] Why? Do you write pretty poems or something?

P: I'm...I'm a painter.

L: Get this fucking guy! A fucking painter! I'm sure you're making a steady income yes? People lining up to buy an original Peter Savage?


L: I thought not. Well, your mother found out about the little...Faults and managed to send a message to the Alliance before you were all liquidated. She smuggled 6 of you little bastards out before she was shot.

P: Shot?

L: Yes, boom! [laughs]...So, that's what happened to your dear mother. But as I said...She smuggled 6...One little baby was left.

P: Felix.

L: Yes...Poor thing. They beat and whipped the humanity out of him, made him a killing machine. I took him when he was 12 to help me track the rest.

P: Why?

F: To know the enemy is to know yourself.

L: The 6 babies were split and given to different Alliance families...They hired me to track them all down...But I could never find you. Now I know why...They fucking left you! [Laughs]

P: Who hired you?

L: I don't fucking know. They're smarter than that to reveal who they are. All I know is the second I kill you...I become a very rich man. I tracked the first 5 in less than 18 years but you...You were a different story. Many times I thought you'd died...But I don't get my money unless I prove you're dead so...Here I am!

P: Well...I hope it was all worth it.

L: [Laughs] You should see how much I'm getting! But...Here's the best part! That ship...The Green Horizon? Some rich slaver's put a bounty on her head! So, as soon as Felix kills you...He's going to rendevouz with your crew pretending to be you! And...When the moment is right...Kill them all! Second fucking jackpot!

P: No! Please...Kill me just...Leave them alone!

L: No, I don't think I will. The money for your head will buy me a very big mansion, the money for them will pay for the swimming pool! [Laughs]

P: Please...Felix...Don't hurt them...They're my family...And Jilly...I love her...

L: Kill this blubbering mess.

P: Please-



INT: SONYA & REDBEKKA in the cockpit of The Green Horizon.

Sonya enters

RR: Well? Did you get the code?

S: How far away is the Junker Becks?

RR: I take that as a no. Well...Do you see the little dot on the radar?

S: [Grimmly] Yeah...

RR: It was waaaaay over there a minute ago so...Pretty close.

S: Fuck...Fuck...Fuck...This is so frustrating!

RR: Hey, calm down. Whenever I forget something the worst thing to do is panic...Just take a breath. At least that's what I did and I found almost all the snakes.

S: Snakes?!

RR: Yeah...But don't worry, the ferrets got rid of the rest...I hope.

S: Okay...[Breathes] I'm breathing....[Breathes] I'm breathing...[Take a deep breath, hold & say] This isn't working...We're going to die.

Computer beeps

RR: Uh-Oh.

S: It's in range...I can see it.

RR: What's that claw thingy?

S: It's a ripper! It's going to disasemble the ship...With us inside of it!

Shields raise automatically

RR: The autopilot put up the shields...That's something!


S: Not if we don't run or fight back! Once it knocks out our shields it can start cutting us up!


RR: Shit...What we do?!

S: We can't do anything without helm control!


RR: C'mon Sonya! Think!


S: I don't know! I can't remember!

Francesca enters

RR: Francesca! How'd you get out?

S: Get Frank out of here Becks!

RR: Her name is Francesca!

S: Oh my god...I know the password!


RR: You do?!

S: When Jilly was saying "I Love Frank" in the canteen...She wasn't just being drunk...She was telling me the code!

RR: Because she calls her Francesca now!

S: Exactly! She chose the code before she knew about the babies!

Typing, computer beep

S: Aha! We did it!

RR: Now Max Light us the fuck out of here!

S: No time...But I got something better in mind! Junior Officer...Target the Ripper and fire!

RR: Fuck yeah!

Targetting sound

RR: Targetted! Firing!

Gatlin whir, Explosion

RR: Direct hit! They've let us go!

S: Target their engines and fire.

Targetting sound, Gatlin Whir, explosion

RR: Their engines are destroyed. That ship is a sitting duck. Should we destroy it?

S: No...We don't kill unless we have no choice.

RR: Aww c'mon! Lemme turn their cockpit into swiss cheese!

S: No...Let's send a message instead. Patch me through.

RR: [sighs] Fine. [Computer beep] You're on.

S: Hostile ship. This is Sonya Halley of The Green Horizon...Were it not for the fact that we are in an immense hurry, I would take a great pleasure in carving through your hull with our Gatlin Lazer until it's nothing but a porous shell. Count yourself lucky that the only thing we'll be taking from you is your Ripper & thrust capabilities. Halley out.

RR: Nice!

S: Thank you! One of the first things I practiced at the Academy was my Captain Voice!

RR: It shows!

S: Oh my god I'm glad that's over. Honestly I have needed to pee the whole time since you woke me up.

RR: Go pee! I'll start the engines.

S: Eh, Becks...Did you cut the message after I said 'Halley Out'?

RR: Ooops.

S: Great. [Sighs] Now they all know I need to pee. So much for Captain Voice.

Footsteps approaching

RR: Hey guys you won't believe what just-

B: Toast!

G: Toast!

J: Toast!


INT: The Canteen of The Green Horizon. BERNARD, JILLY & GINO are at the table dying of a hangover.

B: [Hungover groans]

G: [Hungover groans]

J: [Hungover groans]

J: What were we thinking?

G: So much whiskey...So much.

B: This is it...Genuinely...I'm never drinking again.

G: Don't you...Ah I don't even have the energy to finish my catchphrase.

SONYA enters

S: Hey lads...How are we feeling?

G: Well if it isn't Sleeping Beauty herself.

S: Becks talking to ye'e was she?

G: Yeah she wanted to 'soften us up', her words, before you tell us...She said you saved us all...After you remembered of course.

S: Yeah look...I fucked up sooo so badly...So, if you want to...I dunno dock my pay, Slap me with a disciplinary or...God help me, make me clean the toilet?

G: Well under the Astral Travel Doctrine unfortunately I can't pay you any less and to make you clean the toilet would be a crime against for the disciplinary...You're grand.

S: Really?!

G: Do you know Jilly once opened a beer bottle on the ignition switch?

J: I thought it was one of those stick-on bottle opener things...To be fair I was very drunk.

G: She almost fired our boosters in the middle of A Penthusian Docking Bay...And let's not forget Bernard disassembling the feckin reactor core full of Alchemelian Wine.

B: Don't remind me...I'm still pulling out hair in the shower.

G: You forgot the password because you were too tired from working. Chill out...And make us a coffee, that can be your penance.

S: I'll take it...Oh Jilly, Peter's after catching up with us...He's docking now if you want to say hello!

J: Oh...Thanks commandant!

S: What now?

J: Nevermind. [she gets up] Oooh...My belly...Ugh, why do we do this to ourselves lads?

Jilly leaves and meets REDBEKKA at the door.

J: Hi Becks!

RR: Hi Jilly.

J: Bye Becks!

RR: Bye Jilly. Hey guys!

G: [Groans]

S: Becks shouldn't you be at the helm?

RR: Yeah, I just came down to say we're approaching The Providence.

G: Oh feck...I need to de-hangover myself...Sonya how's that coffee coming?

S: Kettle's nearly there.

B: What's that in your hand Becks?

RR: It's an airhorn.

G: What?

B: Becks...Please-

Loud Airhorn Blast

RR: Happy Wednesday bitches!


INT: The cargo hold of The Green Horizon. PETER steps through the Airlock door and is greeted by JILLY.

J: Hi Peter. How was the trip?

P: [Distracted] Uhh hi...Yeah...Fine.

J: Did you give that Pawnbroker a good beating?

P: Oh...Yeah I...I sure did.

J: Good stuff. Listen...There's something I want to say to you, now...You don't have to say it back or anything but...Last night we were having a few and I realized how lucky I am right now so...I'm just going to say it-

P: Uh, can this wait? I've uh...I've got something to do.

J: Oh...Right? Are you okay? You don't seem yourself.

P: I'm fine. I gotta go we'll...We'll talk later.

Peter walks away

J: Peter? Peter! [sighs] Well that didn't go how I'd hoped.

G: [Over Tannoy] Ladies and Gentlemen...

Cut to: Cockpit

G: We have arrived at the Generational ship The Providence. Please mind your P's, Q's and F-U-C-K's...It's time to look professional.

B: [Vomits]

G: Oh for feck sake-

[Forget The Whale-Man Outta Town]






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