A man who spends his life seeking approval learns to play small, and his kids are often the first to feel what that costs. My guest Josh Cary calls himself the hidden entrepreneur. For more than 40 years he hid his talent and ability to win the approval of others. Deep down he believed he didn't fit in, nobody wanted him around, and he wasn't good enough. Rather than risk conflict, he proved people's low expectations right. He spent 15 years in acting and film chasing applause that never filled the void. By the time he had a young daughter and son, he describes himself as angry, miserable, and depressed. One day, playing Candyland, he won the last spin and broke down crying with his head in his hands. His daughter looked up and asked, "Daddy, why are you crying? You won." That question became his turning point. Soon after, he left a toxic partnership in the digital marketing agency he'd run for 10 years.

The changes started small. Josh looked at the habit he used every night to bury his fear and cut it first. He studied how people living the life he wanted spent their mornings, and he copied them. Today he wakes up before anyone else in his house and takes 30 to 60 minutes for himself. He credits that idea to Hal Elrod's The Miracle Morning. He skips the snooze button, rides his Peloton three to four days a week, and watches little television before bed. A checkup showing very high cholesterol pushed him to cut nearly all sugar. He also names a five-step process he calls "F that noise" for quieting the self-talk that drowns out what we're capable of. His view of fear changed too. He treats fear as a signpost that he's heading the right way, and then he acts through it. He calls it stacking habits, one day at a time, into a life he's proud of.

The heart of Josh's story is what happened once he stopped waiting to be discovered. He launched the Hidden Entrepreneur Show with no idea what came next. He quietly chose a coach and mentor as his Mickey, the person he'd call if old critics came after him. Nobody ever did. Recording at an event, he met a fellow New Jersey podcaster who invited him to his studio, and they co-founded PodMAX. Josh says that door opened because he was already showing up as powerfully as he could. All his life he'd hoped someone would see his potential first. He learned he had to see it himself. Mike Forrester lives and teaches that a man should quit trying to fix himself by himself. Josh's mentor gave him the backing to finally play big. If your kids have seen you angry and checked out, Josh shows what changes when you make them your reason.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

• Recognize how seeking approval and avoiding conflict can keep a man hiding what he's capable of.
• See how one honest moment with your kids can become the reason you finally change.
• Use small stacked habits, like waking before your family and skipping the snooze button, to start your day on your terms.
• Learn how a health scare like high cholesterol can push you to care for your body so you're around for your kids.
• Understand why treating fear as a signpost helps you take bold action at work instead of playing small.
• Spot why one mentor in your corner makes it easier to leave what isn't working and step into something better.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:03:17 - what it looks like to hide your talent to win approval

00:05:00 - how your kids can show you that you still have growing up to do

00:07:15 - the Candyland moment that made an angry, depressed dad decide to change

00:08:32 - how to walk away from a toxic business relationship

00:12:31 - what to do when you fear people will pull you back down

00:15:59 - why chasing applause never fills the void

00:18:19 - how a high cholesterol scare can change the way you eat

00:20:20 - why owning every choice gives you your power back

00:21:10 - how to build confidence when you're used to playing small

00:22:23 - why feeling fear means you're on the right track

00:25:15 - how showing up powerfully attracts the right opportunities

00:29:24 - morning habits that help a busy dad perform at his best

Connect with Josh Cary

Website:

https://joshcary.com/

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/josh.cary.39/

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/joshcaryco/

Connect with Mike Forrester

https://linktr.ee/hicoachmike