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The Art of Playing Devil's Advocate: Empowered Decision-Making for Moms with Goals
Episode 6622nd June 2023 • Momma Has Goals • Kelsey Smith
00:00:00 00:08:08

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Maybe you have a dream or a vision in your heart, and you've been waiting to take action on it because you're just not sure if it's for you or your family. This could be a change in your career, coming home and staying with your kids, starting a business, or anything else! And you're just not sure if you should play devil's advocate.

In this episode, I'll dive into the art of playing devil's advocate with yourself to make the best decisions as a busy mom pursuing her goals. We'll explore the concept of opportunity cost, compare pros and cons lists with the devil's advocate mindset, and discover the importance of finding a safe space for exploring alternate perspectives. Join me as we continue to support fellow moms on their journey towards achieving their goals and creating a fulfilling life.

What you'll hear in this episode:

[1:20] Playing devil’s advocate with yourself to navigate choices.

[3:00] What is the opportunity cost?

[4:15] Pros and cons list vs. playing devil's advocate.

[5:40] What’s the worst that can happen?

[6:55] Find a safe space to play this out.


Follow Kelsey: @thisiskelseysmith

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Kelsey Smith 0:00

Maybe you have a dream or a vision on your heart, and you've been waiting to take action on it because you're just not sure if it's for you or for your family. This could be changing in your career, coming home and staying with your kids. This could be starting a business, anything that is on your heart, and you're not sure if you should play devil's advocate. Welcome to mama has goals, your weekly reminder that you shouldn't have to sacrifice your dreams to take on the role of mom. I'm Kelsey Smith, mom of two boys. Why an entrepreneur who's passionate about helping other moms current and aspiring to reimagine mom life. I'm bringing you the resources, support and relatability to debunk that limiting belief that you may have about your ability to achieve your goals while raising acumen we're covering everything from mom guilt, marriage, relationships, careers, finances, mental health, physical health, you name it, your life doesn't have to fully shift once you become a mom, you can have it all. And we'll show you how.

Kelsey Smith 1:18

am not an expert on how you should navigate life. I share with you the things that work for me, the experts come in on Tuesdays, we have our guest episode. But today I was thinking about a practice that I've implemented that I really like that helps me in how I navigate all the different choices that we have every day. And that's truly just playing devil's advocate with myself. So anytime that I am trying to walk through a decision, knowing should I pursue something or should I pull back? Is This Desire this dream or this thought or this vision? Is it something I should pursue? Is it something I should move forward with? Is this a goal that I should go after? And not even big visions and goals, but just day to day activities? Maybe decisions I'm making as a parent or whether or not we should go to a event that we've been invited to a birthday party? A barbecue? My husband and I should go on date night? Like little things and also the big vision? Yeah. And if you've lost me, I'll bring you back that I play devil's advocate in the should or should I not with each of these things, right? So if I'm invited to a barbecue, and we're not really sure we want to go it's not a hack. Yes. Because you hear this a lot. If it's not a hack, yes, it's a hack, no type of thing. Not always. It's not always the case. But I play devil's advocate with each of those things. I say, Okay, I was invited to this barbecue. If I go XYZ, if I don't go XYZ. And I play out each situation, when I'm not sure if I want to go so that I can see the devil's advocate. I can see the opportunity cost, if you will. Yeah. With the little things. This is helpful. Right. Okay. My son was invited to a birthday party, we had other things going on that day, it was going to be a little stressful to make it work. Option one is we don't go. And he just doesn't go. He doesn't know anything about it. He doesn't get the opportunity. We just don't go. Option two is I figured out how to make it work. We're maybe a little tight on timeline. We're out 20 ish dollars for a gift for the birthday party. My son may or may not have fun when he gets to the birthday party, but he gets to experience this kid's birthday party that we don't know. So it's not like a huge heck yes. And it's not a huge Heck no, because he's early in his age where he's invited to birthday parties of kids that we haven't met before from school. And I love that example. Because even with myself, it has me look at this and say, Okay, what is the opportunity costs? And how can I play devil's advocate with myself, sometimes we get so overwhelmed in situations that we don't need to be so overwhelmed with that if we actually just took a step back and looked at the alternative and was like we could make that work, then you would save yourself so much stress, so much overwhelmed. And you would allow yourself to truly just take the next steps forward. Now, if this is something bigger, maybe you have a dream or a vision on your heart, and you've been waiting to take action on it because you're just not sure if it's for you or for your family. This could be changing in your career, coming home and staying with your kids. This could be starting a business, anything that is on your heart and you're not sure if you should pursue it. play devil's advocate with yourself. It's like a different version of a pro and cons list. But I think the pros and cons can be hard because not everything is a true positive or negative. It just is where when we play devil's advocate, we see the other side. We don't have to pick Is this good or bad? We just play out the scenario. Because to me, we don't actually know if it's good or bad. Let's say It's about you staying home with your kids. Like, okay, pro, I'd be able to be home with my kids. Well, some days that could be a con, you don't know. So it's more just the scenario. Same thing financially, right? You may not be bringing in the same income is not a con, maybe. But maybe you're saving money and other places because you're able to be home and you're doing things differently. There's not always a pro or con. It's just more the vision, the situation and the dynamic that's being created. Same thing, you go to pursue a business, okay? There's pros, there's cons, but it's more the vision. It's more playing it out and saying, If I don't, I'm always gonna wonder what is. I'm always gonna think maybe I could have done that. What is the worst that can happen? That is not a bad question to ask. So often people will say horrible things could happen. They could. And then what? And then what if something really horrible happens if your business totally fails? You guys filed bankruptcy, you and your husband move into a car? What's the worst that can happen? Play that situation out. And then play the devil's advocate? What's the best that can happen in the truth is typically somewhere in the middle, you're not typically going to end up with this horrible situation. If you choose to come home with your kids or pursue your dream or take that promotion, or go on that vacation that you're not sure you should be spending the money on? Not all the worst case scenarios are likely going to happen. But what are some of the good things that can happen? How can you play devil's advocate with yourself? How can you allow yourself to step into these opportunities that you're not allowing yourself to because you're not playing devil's advocate? When you have that next moment? You say, Oh, no, you can't do that. Or what if okay, what is played out, play the scenario out. And this is something that you can do on your own. You can also find someone in your life that can help you do this. We have a lot of really amazing women in the mama high schools community that their brains work like this, there are a safe place for you to play this out with. If you don't have that person in your life, if you don't have a partner that right now could handle that. It doesn't mean they're a bad person, they just might have a lot going on. And for you to throw this at them could be hard. It doesn't mean that your husband or your partner won't get on board with you one day, it just means that they might not be the first person for you to share this with. Whether it's your parents or your best friend, any of those people, they may not be able to play out all the different scenarios with you. And if you can do it by yourself and then take action great. If you can't find some accountability, find someone to play it out with you. If you want to do that with me, you know how to get a hold of me. I cannot wait to talk to you next week. I love you so much, Mama. Keep getting those goals. There's so much more where this came from. Take the next step and download the mama high schools app or visit our web platform. real authentic, full supportive community is available at your fingertips and we can't wait to create space for you mama