Sex Spoken Here: Sex Love Stories 5: Dr Sam Webster
Welcome to my virtual therapy room! I am Dr Lori Beth Bisbey and this is Sex Spoken Here. Remember that this podcast deals with adult themes so if you don’t have privacy you might wish to put on your headphones.
Today is the fifth instalment of the sex love series. Joining me today is Dr Sam Webster, Master of Divinity and Mage, my oldest friend. I started by asking Sam when he first became aware of his sexual self. Sam told met this had two answers. The first was at 5 or 6 when he became aware of his body and how good he could feel and the second was when he assigned the idea of sex to that and realised that other sex was interesting which was as a teen. I asked Sam to tell me about his background and culture. He told me that he was born in New York and lived in the Bronx and when the neighbourhood changed his parents moved them to Long Island. Sam grew up in a neighbourhood that was Italian Catholic, Irish Catholic and Jewish. He spoke of loving the ritual but not liking the hypocrisy.
We spoke about meeting at the beginning of university and of exploring together. Sam talked about only recently understanding that he is gender fluid and how powerful this has been. He said that I was his first consensual polyamorous relationship and I agreed. We spoke about some of the difficulties of polyamory and some of the joys.
I asked Sam about his bisexuality and he told me that growing up it was made clear that sex between men was not acceptable, was sinful. Sam said he was bullied for a number of other reasons so he chose not to add same sex relationships to the mix at that time. He spoke about how hard it was first to allow himself to fully feel these sexual feelings and then to find partners. We spoke about a couple of the experiences he has had.
Sam spoke about how his spiritual development in Thelemic magick was very much tied in with his sexuality and what it was like when this was the case – the power of the mix but also the issues it creates. We spoke about coming full circle or rather around the spiral helix again.
We spoke of the importance of communication and of work on oneself and frequently people are afraid to do that work. I asked about when he realised he was kinky and he laughed and we talked of starting to explore that together and how when you look at all these pieces it can be really hard to find partners to meet these needs and also that we both had a line of pretty bad choices.
Sam talked about how supportive and nourishing his current relationship is and we discussed finally being in a place to make a good choice.
Today we spoke about being gender fluid, being bisexual, being non-binary in general, kink, BDSM, Master/slave relationships, non-Christian and non-monotheistic spirituality, sex magick and sexual trauma. If you were triggered or if this resonates with you, do email me. In addition to emailing me at drbisbey@the-intimacy-coach.com for more information, you can find resources on the podcast pages as part of the podcast notes.
Check out these podcasts and blogs for more information:
B is for Bisexual
BDSM dating
D/s Relationships
Consent
Communication
Gender Fluid
Risk Assessment in Relationships
Thanks for joining me for Sex Spoken Here with Dr Lori Beth Bisbey.
Write to me with suggestions for the show, questions you want answered at drbisbey@the-intimacy-coach.com, follow me on twitter, Instagram and Facebook.
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I forward to next week’s sex love story.
