Today’s guest is Courtney Krulis from the Byron Bay area of Australian. Courtney has such an incredible energy, which you’ll hear right away. In this episode we’re talking about living up to family expectations, breaking rules, and following breadcrumbs to magical places. We’re exploring the topic of divine coincidences bringing people together to create and the strengthening of the letting go muscle. I’m super excited for you to hear about a technique that can work for those of you with hyperactive minds who have difficulty sitting quietly to meditate.

Courtney, who’s also known by some as Coco, is a published-author and professional enthusiast – I love that, professional enthusiast, I might want to take on that title myself. She’s also a multi-passionate entrepreneur who is on a mission to spread Joy to the world. She blends wisdom from spiritual practices with positive psychology to awaken people to their creativity, play and joy through 1:1 coaching, women's empowerment courses, ecstatic dance movement experiences, and corporate workshops. She’s the author of Pick Me Up Empowerment Cards, which serve as daily motivation to bring positivity and humor into everyday life. They would make a fantastic holiday gift, just saying.

Not surprisingly, Courtney loves to be on stage, inspiring people to take risks, connect their intuition, and live their one precious life filled with love, play, and JOY!

Oh and speaking of one precious life, this episode is publishing just a few days before Courtney’s birthday. So after you listen, reach out to her and wish her a Happy Birthday. 🎂

Courtney’s hype song is Open Your Eyes by Daybreaker. Hear it at https://open.spotify.com/track/42o7WEVo6rD4rOLl26TCRo?si=85e20b6b0f2840ba

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cocokrulis/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/courtney.krulis

Pick me up cards: www.pickmeupcards.com. The updated deck with additional cards has just been printed! Place an order for standard Pick Me Up Cards and you’ll get the updated deck with Gold Plating.

Remember, for community and camaraderie, Come join us in the Fine is a 4-Letter Word Facebook group.

AND today's episode is sponsored by KuelLife.com, a community of and platform for midlife women to find articles and videos on an array of relevant topics. Join at the Founder's rate of only $4.99/month before the end of the year. Go to https://kuellife.com/.

Hello and welcome to find is a four letter word. My guest today

is Courtney rules. I'm so excited to have you on the show.

Courtney is a friend of... Oh gosh, I can't remember what episode it

was, but with Lisa... What was her title? Ionian Lisa went right.

But I was trying to remember the title of her episode anyway,

my... Courtney is guest number two from Australia, so I'm super excited

to be creating this international podcast or consent. I'm really excited

to be here. So let's get right into it.

The first question always is, what were the values and beliefs that were

instilled in you in your childhood that then contributed to

some of the decisions you made as the IT... I grew up in

a beautiful, amazing Jewish family, where values of

being as a family dinners and spending a lot of time together was

very important and following the way that my mother had lived and my

grandmother had lived, and my great grandmother had lived,

and which was to marry a Jewish man at a young age and

have children and have a stable job and

live in the work, in the corporate space,

or be a teacher, something that was a good job for a woman

and... Yeah, I guess I followed a lot of that trajectory,

went to University, studied education and business, and then kind of one

that was like, Wait a minute, is this sort of the life that

I wanna lead, but I will say that I did already have a

little bit of a... This doesn't feel totally right. And I think my

parents were pretty clued in that I was quite a big personality,

I was maybe a little bit different to my other sisters,

and so when I was 16, I actually asked my mom if I

could move schools, 'cause I went to a Jewish school my whole life,

I had Jewish friends, I never had a non Jewish boyfriend or any

of that, I always definitely played by the rules growing up,

and then at 16, I said to my mom, I feel like...

I feel really different and I wanna try something new. And so it

was a huge risk for my mom and she let me go to

a private girls school, which was huge for her, and yeah,

that felt like totally rebellious of me, even though I look back in

hindsight and I laugh at that. But that was the first time that

I sort of broke the mold for my family, and from there,

I kind of started to do my own thing and find myself that

was beyond the construct of what my family

values sort of work. So they valued education, but up to a certain

point, because then you were just gonna be pretty much a homemaker,

that was that, that it... Or you were expected to have a career

and to relative children take care of them, have a good job,

but not a job better than your husband necessarily,

marry someone who was Jewish and had a great job and could provide

for you, make safe and good decisions for your future self.

Right. Okay, so outwork out, you've already alluded to the fact that you

are a rat. I laugh it saying I broke the rules at age

16, 'cause I wouldn't exactly say a private girls school is that rebellion,

but it felt big not being in a juice for the first time

in my life and having friends that weren't Jewish, that felt big to

me, but then I ended up going to university and meeting a lawyer

who was Jewish, and he was tall and good at sport,

and all... I tick every single box. And my parents were made love

with him, and as soon as my parents kinda gave me the tick

of approval, it was like, this is the man I'm gonna marry at

age 19 when I met him, and so

yeah, it was... I continued to just do what everyone else was doing

and follow the rules, even though you ended just off a rule breaker,

you weren't too... You didn't collect the line. And I think I always

knew in my spirit, so to speak, that I was always a little

bit different, I always felt like... I loved everyone around me,

I felt super supported and connected to everyone in a way,

but there was always something to me that felt like there was more

in this life for me then I was currently living, and I ended

up moving to New York with my husband at the time,

so he was doing his MBA, and so I went along with him

and I worked there, and it was sort of as soon as I

got out of that little bubble of the Jewish community in Australia,

and I saw the bigger world in America that I kind of started

to get this inkling of how I've been living this really small sheltered

life, and now the world seems so much bigger, and have I made

the right choices and... Yeah, so my sort of journey really began of

seeing the world much bigger from my belief systems and values and all

that, once I got out, I got away from my very close family

who... My parents are very involved in my life, always encourage me to

make the decisions that they've made and always share their advice,

even though it's very often not asked for it, they just feel the

need to share all the time. Their thoughts and beliefs are...

Isn't that what parents do, that's the assays with great intentions To...

Yeah, I never get here and frustrated by it, but it definitely can

influence the way that I see and the decisions that I make,

that once I was away from that and I got to really find

myself, I realized I was living a life that they wanted me to

have... Not necessarily the life that I was choosing. Great. That's...

Why did you go to... Say This, Jon. I was... Lived at my

parents house, I lived at home for so long, and I think that's

what I love about the US, is that you go to college and

you find yourself... 'cause you're away from your family. Whereas

for me, I always lived at home for a long time and was

deeply influenced by my parents, and especially ones, were extremely involved,

even my grandmother still calls to give me advice on a daily basis.

Yeah, there are pluses and minuses to that. I can see how that

is. But I think that is one of the great things about...

I see a lot of conversation online. And being an entrepreneur myself,

and as you are, and we'll get into that in a minute,

but that is college necessary and is going away to school worth the

money? And sometimes I look at it as it's not about the money,

and it's not about what you're learning at school, per se in your

classes, it's that opportunity that you're talking about to discover who

you are and to live independently and to explore... Yeah, for sure.

I actually, I went on exchange when I was 19 to University of

Miami, and I really got to say like, Oh my gosh,

this is... The Americans just know what they're doing. I was so much

fun. Oh yeah, well, Miami is a completely different picture, just in and

of itself is a... Well, it was denial. A lot of fun.

That's for sure. I was like, I kinda imagine doing this for four

years, but boy, was it a good time for six months.

Yeah, I bet I'm so. Okay, so you're in New York and

you are exploring who you are and you're thinking, Wow, there's this whole

world out there that I know you exist, and then someone told me

You should come to Burning Man, which is a festival in the middle

of the desert, and it was like eight hour drive from Los Angeles,

and I was living in New York, so is a huge thing,

and there's no cell reception, you bring absolutely everything you need

with you, it's a festival of radical self reliance and where everyone just

comes... There's no money, it's just a battery will not even battering,

you're just giving... That's the essence of Burning Man, to just give your

gifts, and so I went there with no expectation of what this festival

was, I went, and that was a huge shift in my life because

I saw how an alternative universe could be one where

we were truly living from our soul's purpose, or just giving our soul's

gift, so I was at the... One of my gifts was I made

these little fans that said Happy, Happy Burning Man, and it was something

that I created and that felt really great, and I also sung,

so I would go into the middle of the desert and just start

singing, and that was part of my contribution and other people's contributions

would be to set up a food, still someone else would be playing

music, and this whole festival is created based on community coming together

to share their gifts, and I remember just at one point,

I was like, Why... Why does that world exist, and why do we

have money, and why isn't it all equal? And it made me question

every single value I'd ever grown up with, when we could actually create

something from scratch, where everyone just came together in community to

share their gifts and talents and how they love to be in the

world, and came with this massive open hearts and

with such diverse cultures and talents, and it was that moment of just,

why is the universe of the world the way that it is?

And it made me question everything. And I kinda came back and wanting

to have this huge desire to build something like that

in my life, and so yeah, that took me to buy her and

Bay where we live, it's such an incredible community here, and I've actually

just moved into land in melanin and I've got people that are coming

to live on the land and not pay rent, but they do gardening,

and the other person is building something on the land, so we're really

just redefining how money can be used or how energy can be used

because we just live in such a limited way of thinking about how

we can exchange energy... Right? 'cause everything is energy, we live in

a world that we have this illusion that

there are things other than energy, but really...

Everything is made up of energy. Interesting, so back up for a second,

as you were living in New York and you went to Burning Man,

and now you're in Iran, become the disheartening that up to like...

Yeah, I would say it was the most profound experience of my life,

just a huge shift, maybe question my entire life, how I was living,

what values I was living by, who had chosen them, how had society

being created? How did I wanna live? So every single thing was questioned

in that week of being at Bunyan, and I came back and there

was one point where I was in the desert,

kind of in this dust and my whole life flash before my eyes

and I just got... Just became this hole metaphor for my life or

about how I'm just like not really seeing beyond the construct that I

couldn't see more than a meter above my face, and I went straight

to the temple, which is a beautiful space at Bernie man and I

just started writing, writing myself a letter about how I wanna be in

this world, what values I choose outside the life that I've been living,

what would my future life look like if I lived by these values,

and I could see that I was totally on the wrong track in

life, and so I came back from the burn, I called my husband

and I was like, I've had this huge phony and I don't think

we're supposed to be together, I don't see our life together,

I'm gonna quit my job, I'm gonna do all these... Start doing...

Living this separate life, and he was obviously extremely taken aback by

it all and asked if he could come on this journey with me,

and I was like, Sure, if you're open to it, let's do it,

and we tried for a bit, and I think he very quickly realized

that that wasn't... He was very happy in the construct which he lives

and that wasn't the part that he wanted to choose, and so we

consciously sort of chose these separate ways, and I've just continued to

go down that more spiritual path of questioning everything in life and really

making decisions from a place of my intuition and really not listening to

my mind and all the stories and beliefs I've been told my whole

life, I now actually truly tuning every day and be like,

What is true for me today to be living and doing...

And I just live from that place, and that has taken me through

Melanie, I never planned out how my life would be, I've just

really followed the little bread crumbs along the way, and it's taken me

to the most magical places that my mind could have never,

ever... Ever constructed? Very cool. How do you attain it? It's a big

practice and I spent about two hours in the morning. But it always

starts off with a little bit of movement I'll do since I'll do

some yoga, I'll do some dancing, and then I'll meditate for at least

half an hour. I'll do some journaling, and then I pick affirmation cards,

so I actually have my own deck that I've written, but

I use all different kinds of cards just to ask my higher self

what is in the greatest good for me to know today?

And the wisdom I get from cards and how it allows me to

journey depot myself is really profound. Interesting, okay, so did you

get some kind of training on how to

do the meditations that you're doing, or how did you get into the

practice, this extensive practice that you're doing, you...

Tell me more about how you learned to do that. Or

where the inspiration... I was actually at Burning Man.

I was someone before then exercise, that's what I said, I run,

that's my meditation, I'm a runner, and that's when I get to be

with my thoughts, and I would have this huge

block... Again, sitting down in meditation for me, I was so hyperactive,

moving a million miles, and now we're working in a corporate job,

like I did not have time to sit for five minutes...

No. And I went... You just reminded me of there's that Buddha

or that the Buddhist freeze quote, that If you don't have time to

meditate for one hour a day yet you don't have time to sit

for five minutes, it for 10 minutes a similar... I was at Burning

Man and I walked into this workshop and I see this guy who

was actually a friend of mine in New York, and I was like,

Oh, nice. And he was running this workshop and I was like,

cool, and it was all about meditating and dancing, and he's like,

If you're someone with a super hyperactive mind and you're always doing

things a million miles an hour, like many New Yorkers, you should wake

up in dance first and then meditate. And so I tried this practice

at Burning Man, and it was the first time I experienced stillness in

my mind, and I was like... I went up to like,

That was amazing, and I chatted to me like in the meditation teacher,

you should learn with me. And we became really, really good friends.

And then from that day forward, I then danced. Every morning I would

wake up and I with dads to the song,

open your eyes, which is a theme from day break, which is a

dance movement company community in America in the US. And that was when

I went to that guy that I met at The Nieman lived in

New York, we went to Daybreak it together, which is that community,

and we did this morning sunrise, and that song just became this song

for my life every day I'd wake up and dance to the song,

and then over time, I've built my practice to now be about two

hours, but it started off with five minutes of dancing in five minutes

of sitting and then expanding pandian it finally enough

as a nature would have it when I came to buy a bay

Niko, that guy for Bernina was in Australia for his sister's wedding,

and we bumped into each other on the beach being like,

What are you doing in Australia, Irena. And we ended up falling in

love. And he was the one that... We just bought a house,

we bought this house together in Milan, Bambi, and my whole life from

the moment I met him to getting me into this place was all

like... It was like this crazy sense of coincidences that the universe wanted

us to create all this stuff together, which we have and...

Yeah, so it's just been a magical journey and now we've just split

up, which is really interesting too, because it's now I'm ready for the

second evolution of myself, and so I'm feeling again that we talk about

living this fine, like I'm not about fine, I'm always like,

from good to great. And when let's keep evolving and growing and letting

go of what no longer serves so we can continue to show up

and truly live out our destiny. It sounds like you're getting really good

at the letting go and letting things evolve,

part of things, which I think a lot of people struggle with because

we tend to want to hold on to what we know,

'cause it's familiar. I was gonna say... Yeah, it's safe, it's familiar.

I was gonna say it's comfortable, but a lot of times it's not

comfortable, it's just familiar, and so it's very difficult to let go

and to allow what else? The next thing to come in,

'cause you have to... A lot of times you have to let go

of something before the news thing can come in, but we want the

new things before we let go to make sure that we're gonna be

okay, or to live in the miracle... How it work.

Yeah, and then I also wanted to step back a second to when

you were talking about the movement before the meditation, and so I create

these custom meditations, customized gratitude meditations for clients,

and I hear a lot of times when I'm talking about and teaching

about meditation, I can't sit still. So I love that you shared this

technique of kind of like getting all the energy out of your body,

and then it was profound, I... Until you've had the experience of stillness,

and then you can tap into that stillness more frequently, but for someone,

especially for myself, who is so hyperactive, so stimulated from a very

young age, I never knew how to sit still, so that just was

never gonna happen for me. And now that now I can sit for

hours, but it's taken a lot of time too, and I appreciate that

still, no, so much more in my life now because I can actually

experience it fully, whereas when you're sitting in your mind's just racing,

it's so un gratifying And yeah, it's uncomfortable and un gratifying you

come out of it for additional 'cause you were trying so hard to

get to that place of stillness and it wasn't working, and I just

like the... Yeah, I'm not good at, I'm not good at it,

I can't do it. So we give up.

Right, right. Which is not the point of meditation is not to make

you more aggravated an agent, but... Yeah, so

that just is another point that meditation is a practice,

it's not like you sit down one day and you are a monk

and you can sit and meditate for hours with no thoughts at all

going through your head again, you've expanded your practice. Yes. Reprint

still have days when my mind is deeply racing and...

Yeah, of course, we all do. Yeah, okay, so continue the story of...

So you, Nico created this whole amazing thing and they parted ways and

what's not a... Back in the material. I think I wanted to touch

on the fact that you said, I'd be God and really good at

this idea of letting go, and I wanna just

reiterate that this is a... It's a muscle that we need to learn

to flex, I think the first time I did it when I was

16, and I took that risk of... What I Know is familiar.

I've always lived in a Jewish... I've always been a Jewish school,

had Jewish values. That piece of curiosity came up around, is there more

for me here, I could always have this, but what if...

And so I was obviously a very curious child and teenager,

but because I flex that muscle quite young and my parents were quite

encouraging of me to do something that was a little bit different,

I was able to flex that muscle, and there's still so much fear

every time I do it, but I get better and better at it,

because I see that when we let go of what no longer serves,

we're able to really experience the magic of life, because the universe

is always giving us these little bread crumbs when... When we follow them,

we don't get to see the loaf of bread... Yeah, it's like that

comes and you get slices along the way, but often it's just little

bread crumbs and then more magic and more magic, and

I actually just went on camping this weekend, and

it was so... I'll try and make this story as short as possible,

but in essence, I was really struggling with this break up because he's

the most beautiful... Perfect, man, our life is amazing, we've been creating

these incredible... This incredible dance movement, and we've got this corporate

workshop business to get it, things are flowing and it's been so amicable

and perfect, and for whatever reason, he said to me,

I just not fully in this... I don't know why I love you

as my best friend, I love you as my business partner,

but there's something in me, and I could feel this like not 100%

commitment. I would say I felt 999%, but I know that little something...

And I was like, What is it? He's like, I just don't know.

And having been on the other end of that, being with someone who

I wasn't a 100% in, I know that that doesn't serve him,

and therefore it doesn't serve me and doesn't serve the highest good,

therefore we let go and we see what's available in the nothingness.

But in that being in the nothingness and letting go of something that

I absolutely loved with all of my heart,

I knew that the mystery was called, that the emptiness... That would be

the magic. Anyway, I go and I'm camping, and I was like,

I just need to shift something, let me see what is in the

highest group, and I went for this huge walk in

along the beach, and I watched this eagle fly about... This eagle was

following me the entire way, and the eagle obviously represents one that

can see things from a high vantage point, one that isn't so caught

up in the little stuff that it allows you to save the greater

picture, and all this wisdom was coming in from our relationship and why

we're not together, and I could just start to see things,

and I'm watching this eagle as wisdom and download to coming into me,

and I watch it like shit and I pose and like,

Shit come on it, and it turns into a rainbow because of the

light. And it was just like, What do Wicomico metaphor for me in

that moment of like, Oh my gosh, from up close, it feels like

you're in a shit storm, but from a high advantage point,

it's really just like letting go of what no longer serves and releasing

and that paid way for the magic of life to come through,

and so I was like, Oh, I've just been in the Shoshone,

I'm just waiting for the magic now, and I just like...

I felt this huge wave of peace and acceptance come over me of

like, I'm in and the magic is about to come,

and so yeah, I'm still... I'm still sort of seeing how the patients

are unfolding, but finally enough, the next day,

when I got back, a friend of mine wants to move in,

and her and her best friend patient, he's a God and He's gonna

build this space and my whole vision for how I wanna live in

terms of having... Community is now coming to fruition because Nico isn't

there anymore, and so I'm just like, Wow,

something greater is happening, and I always say Give up the good you

get the great in life, and so don't hold on to good if

good isn't 100 for body. Yes, 100%, then it's a no.

And so give up that thing to allow space for the new to

come in... Yes. Oh my gosh, that's so beautiful. And so easy to

say, and it is a different thing, however, like you said,

all of the practices that you're talking about contribute to your being

able to do that, and I'll say more easily, but I don't mean

easy, it's not easy, but it allows you to be more accepting

of the situation. I think another thing too, is all about the frequency

that we put out in life when we're in our heart and where

the frequency of love, we will have everything that the universe that we

desire, and so I don't like I refuse to live in a frequency

of fear or a frequency of concern about the future, because then I'm

not... Nothing is gonna come to me and I say refuse,

I really choose not to. I find it challenging when I'm in those

spaces of what this is in how my life was supposed to unfold,

especially when I'm in this beautiful relationship with everything's working

and then the rug just gets pulled from underneath me, but in that

rug being pulled out and I'm in that state, all I can do

is come back to my heart and just have that... Knowing that everything

is working out for me. And so all these practices helped to bring

me back to my heart, and I know that the second I'm not

in my heart, that nothing's coming through, and so if I remember that

and know that of course, the universe wants me to have everything,

and I can only be me, and if that doesn't serve me,

then then that doesn't serve anyone all the highest good. And so when

I can remember that in those moments and hold myself and give myself

the love of validation that I was seeking in other,

I then can be the frequency of love and go out and receive

in this world. Again, that's super easy to say and to understand as

you're saying it... Yes, yes, that makes sense. That makes sense,

but when you're in that actual moment of

fear or misunderstand it, like Why is this happening...

I don't say necessarily putting yourself in the victim mode of Why is

this happening to me, but why is this happening and feeling that fear,

what is the... Is there a technique or something that you use immediately

in that moment... Yeah, just When I'm feeling that fear, I'll ask myself,

what is underneath this? Like, what is he?

And then I will choose to allow myself the space to like,

Oh wow, that's what my mind is telling me.

Wow, I may be journal about it and just be with that information

and then choose the higher... So let's say in a relationship,

I have choices that I choose every day, you call it manifesting minutes,

and I choose the unrest of a loving passion, a joyful relationship,

or we support each other in our greatness, and so I want that

greatness for myself, I want that greatness for my partner, and if the

greatness is us not being together, then there's someone who that greatness

will be with, so I can feel like, Oh, in this moment,

it sucks, like I'm really sad and feel that great, and then then

back into, what does it feel like in my heart, to be with

someone, to be in that kind of relationship, and that takes me back

to my center, to my heart, to my vision, and then I can

call that back in because we are operating from that place of the

heart, the emotion, whatever emotion we're experiencing is what will attract

into our lives or more of that, and so I just have to

flip that from fear to love, of fear from him, fear to find...

And often for me, that's dancing through that too, so I might just

put on music and shake out the breath, sound movement, shake it out,

and allow my body also not just my mind to have the space,

but my body to release that fear, 'cause there's energy that's stuck in

the body and I'll move that and then come back to my heart,

and what's true is that I know that I'm worthy, deserving and good

enough of this incredible relationship that I want in my life,

and so I'm gonna have that if I stay in the frequency of

love. Fabulous, love it. So that is the perfect segue into

what is the song that you listen to when you need to get

into that higher vibration or frequency, or your... Often listen to the

day break a theme song, which is open your eyes,

and it's just all about the life we live, see every day as

a gift, open your eyes, and I just love what that stands for,

and sometimes I'll leave you just seeing my own song and start riffing

on my own lyrics to pump myself up, 'cause I know what I

need in those moments and what I need to hear,

and that's always a beautiful practice too. Awesome, okay, so we're gonna

put a link to that song in the show notes,

what you said, do you have your own song, is there is...

It's not hard to get that I will send it to you once

we have it. Okay, so we'll put a link to both songs.

And how can people get in touch with you if they want to

see in an NME on Instagram? The moment I'm going by Coco cores,

but they may change back to court ankles, I go between my two

names, but yeah, on Instagram, and then I also have

affirmation cards that I've written and there at pick me up cards dot

com, and there are Pontypool uplifting, empowerment cards

to help make Joy a daily practice. Fabulous, and they make a great

gift as well for yourself or for your closest, or not even close

yet to a hot... Just need to pick me up, send them their

way. Wonderful, thank you so much for joining me today. I finally hougang

me. So I want to chat and always interesting to dissect the idea

of you fine, it's definitely when we were born to be on this,

to live fine life, we learn to... We were here to live something