We often think fear is designed to keep us safe. When you shift focus you may find it’s that very fear that keeps each of us from living out our dreams. Perhaps we misunderstand fear’s purpose and message. It’s uncomfortable to be in relationship with fear so we tend towards making choices that allow us to avoid fear altogether, that keep us safe (and playing small). The thing is, that our fears cloud our ability to enjoy the crap out of our lives. Fear and joy coexists simultaneously, constant companions. We don’t eventually become unscared. Instead, we learn to feel the fear and move forward anyway.
In this discussion, Lauree Ostrofsky and I reflect on the power in vulnerability, possibility and community—that sometimes, we just need someone to be the first to be vulnerable to give us permission to do the same. We talk about laying groundwork for our dreams, seeding our visions, and about choosing our words and company wisely along the way. And we discuss the importance in viewing joy and pleasure as a practice—in choosing to feel it ourselves, in seeking it out in others. And, of course, we dive into the reality of fear as a guiding presence throughout our lives and how we keep it in its serviceable place.
Quoted in the Episode:
“What I learned from the brain tumor was that things are really scary and you don’t become unscared. You actually just deal with fear in a different way.” - Lauree Ostrofsky
“If you’re not enjoying your life now, how will you ever enjoy it when you get the goal that you want to achieve? Enjoying your life is actually a muscle that you have to develop.” - Lauree Ostrofsky
“If we can be present with the fear that’s in us, we can also be present with the joy. Because it’s likely you have multiple feelings going on at the same time.” - Lauree Ostrofsky
“Luckily that happened because, otherwise, I would still be in that marriage. I would still be doing that job. And I would know that I was unhappy, but it was definitely safer. I was making all safe choices and I think I needed something big enough to wake myself up.” - Lauree Ostrofsky
“If we don’t feel that there’s other people with us, then part of the fear is that we are all alone. So, this is beautiful because we’re really talking about how to make these leaps, how to reach our own audacious goals even when they’re intimidating. And a lot of it has to do with being with ourselves and finding community that we can also be with.” - Rebecca Wong
Resources Referenced in this Episode:
Joseph Campbell’s quote, “If the path before you is clear, you’re probably on someone else’s.”
IFS (Internal Family Systems) model of therapy
Where to find Lauree Ostrofsky:
SimplyLeap.com
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If you're interested in working with Rebecca Wong, you can find out more about her services here:
1. If you're in New York and would like to schedule a relationship therapy session start here: https://connectfulness.com/therapy/
2. If you're a therapist and are interested in mentorship with Rebecca, find out more about services offered here: https://www.practiceofbeingseen.com/work-with-rebecca/
3. To learn more about Rebecca’s Private Couples Intensive Retreats, start here: https://connectfulness.com/intensive-private-retreat/
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If you have questions or inquiries, email us at practiceofbeingseen@gmail.com
