Our players have found themselves in their first official "side quest!" The question is, can they hold it together? Why do they sound completely different? What has Malnag done to them? It's time to find out WHO they really are!

Please rate and review so more people can find the show!

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Quest Happens is: Corey Keller, Nick Jackson, Lauren Keller, and Nathan Guidry.

Main theme by, Elevate Audio

Find us on socials: @questhappens

Previously on Quest Happens. You all find yourself now faced with a multitude of Tabaxi guards coming into this room.

Kraus kind of backs out of the doorway to let the guards in, and he says, law breakers, you are under.

Arrest by order of the magistrate.

Listen, everybody. Before us today, we have arrested law breakers.

These have been convicted and brought in.

Before me, your magistrate, Lord Floof.

Oh, you are the magic plate.

And the crowd kind of goes silent at this point in the morning to add your.

Like, they're getting ready to go, you.

Know, and this guy looks at you all. He's looking at you, and his eyes fix on Stump, and he says, you.

May not know or remember who I am. I was with my family, going on vacation, train person. And I knew you were here. And now I am going to take my revenge.

And he begins to rip off his silver suit. You find yourselves in the same grove, but you're starting to feel very weird, like things are starting to happen.

That's getting some brain fog as Malnag has switched your forms. All right, welcome back, everybody, to another episode of Quest Happens. Thank you all so much for joining us.

Today is going to be a little bit of a different episode. This is going to be a part of the series where we break off into what are called side quests. So welcome to the first ever side.

Quest on Quest Happens.

Oh, yeah. Yes.

Are we going to do introductions?

We are. Yes. So, yeah, this will be a side quest. It's not necessarily going to have to do much with the main storyline.

Eventually we'll do these little side quests when certain things happen just to give a little, you know, differences here and there. But I am joined today by three special people, and I use special in quotations.

Oh, my goodness.

Yeah. Why don't you all introduce yourselves?

Let's do it in reverse.

Oh, let's start over here then.

I am Stump, AKA Lauren.

He who.

I'm Elui, AKA Nathan.

I don't sound like Beavis and Butthead.

You do now.

Is that supposed to be Lauren?

That's a horrible impression.

I'm Esmeralda Fitzmonster, also known as Nick Jackson.

Oh, my gosh.

Whoa.

You're just prepping for that?

Prepping for that.

I got told last time that we don't introduce ourselves very.

That is true.

You and so are excited.

You.

You tilted the needle to the complete other side of the spectrum.

He's gonna have to adjust that in editing.

Can you say sn a Slim Jim?

Step into a Slim Jim, brother.

And if you're wondering why they're introducing their characters as a different character from the last episode. We ended it with where there was a body swap situation. And so that is why they are. If they find themselves in different bodies. Yeah.

So last episode, you talked with Finch. You got. You know, we had Malnag show up out of the blue. You all.

She remember?

Yep. A very strong curse was placed upon your bodies. You awoke with different appendages, different looks, as you found yourselves in other bodies.

About that. I didn't think about all the appendage.

Oh, so I have a penis now?

Yeah, you got one of those.

I didn't have one of those before.

Oh, boy, now you do. Yeah. So, yeah, you found yourselves waking up.

That's where we will have one.

I lost something.

So that is where we will start this episode. You all find yourselves waking up in a completely new body. If things are feeling weird, Malnag is nowhere to be seen. I mean, how.

How does it feel to be in your new bodies?

Wow.

Wow.

I think it feels just kind of normal.

This. There's. It's. I don't know.

Oh, whoops.

Okay, hold on. So I have to think like I'm.

Elui in Easy's body.

Oh, is that what we're doing?

But you have. You still have the characteristics of the body.

We're coming to.

This is really strange and interesting. Oh, what was that? Me.

That was just my hoot.

You're just really gassy. Okay, that's accurate. Okay.

Did somebody make the room bigger? Stump feels close to the ground.

Did someone make the room smaller?

Oh, that sounded like Stump. What?

Okay, let's just get moving.

For some reason, really weird, feels like.

He really could use a drink right now.

Oh, yes, I did have a drink, too.

Oh, I've got plenty of drinks on me.

Just let me go through these.

Daggers Two.

Three.

Daggers four. I've got so many bloody daggers.

Oh, it's your keg. I can help you. I know all about it.

Well, I said I instead of stump. This is weird.

This is.

And then where are we? Because Stump leaves.

Good question. All right, so you take a moment to look around. Everything around you has a purple hue that covers every material object in this grove.

There is a soft fog that hovers in every direction, leaving you with an eerie feeling of dread. You recognize that you are still in the grove of trees, and you remember that you had just met Finch here. That memory is still there.

The grove is eerily quiet and damp, feeling like the morning dew resting upon your face on a cold spring morning. The sounds of birds can be heard in the distance. Not quite sure how far away, but they don't sound like happy birds.

The forest floor is covered in thick moss and foliage much thicker than you remember it when you arrived here. And in the center of the grove, you see a very large, warped and rotted tree.

The base of this tree is twisted and mangled with roots jetting in and out of the ground. And on that tree, you see a dagger stabbed into it. And on that same dagger, a piece of parchment has been pierced and hangs against the tree.

A purple glow outlines the parchment and seems to grow brighter as you look at it.

So what do you all do?

Stump or not Stump, But I'm Stump.

Go look at the note.

Stop is Stump.

So who are you?

Who am I?

I don't even recognize these hands.

I keep having to change my voice.

Okay, so my mind is doing acrobatics right now, so. But really what we're doing is we are. We are playing our actual characters. We just have to change the voice, right?

Yes.

So that's what's happening. So you really would do the same things. You would just use a different voice. Okay, so I don't really have to think.

I'm.

I'm just processing this. So I don't have to do what Easy would do. I'm going to do what Eli Elui would do. You're still going to do what Stump would do. But.

So, okay, so that's what I'm. I had to say that out loud to be like, process it. What's my motive here?

Okay, but you're still in my body, so.

Yeah.

You're still gassy.

Yeah, absolutely.

There's that.

Stump doesn't know who's who because he wouldn't know.

That's true. None of you know who's who raises.

His hand in the air and says, stump is Stump.

Who are you and who are you?

I tell Stump.

Now Stump is freaking out.

I am you, but I am easy on the inside.

Easy on the inside,.

Yes.

So then you must be elui.

Yes, I'm still Ilui. I'm still Ilui.

I have a voice that's. Stop. We're moving on.

That's a good impression.

Oh, easy. Could you pick me up, put me on your shoulders? It's so weird being close to this wet floor, ground.

I just don't know what to do with all this height and all this. I mean, I am muscly, but there's so much more to it.

So I pick you up.

Oh, thank you.

Yes. And I Just plop you right on down.

And I'm like this.

That feels much better.

And the first time, it feels very weird being able to just like, pick up and put on your shoulder. No. No big deal. Like. Yeah.

All right.

This is gonna take some really, some getting used to. I have so much armor all over me.

It's just. Yeah.

You don't feel like your normal, nimble self.

Like it's so difficult to move. Don't you feel, like, important, though? Oh, because of all the armor. Well, you feel very strong and you look cool.

Well, thank you.

I suppose. I just. I didn't really. Not sure what to do. I haven't had hair for several hundred years.

You know what? I think this here is a two seater.

Why don't you come up on here?

Oh, and then.

Of course.

And then I pick myself up.

Yeah.

Put on my other shoulder.

I do that every morning.

You give yourself, like, a good look. Like a. Like a twist, like looking over. Like you might pick up a dog or a puppy.

That's what I look like from the back.

Yes. And I'm like.

I'm like, looking good as you're.

As you're holding me. I go,.

Good,.

Good.

And that does not sound natural at all. Coming from the body of Easy.

So we walk up. I. So with them on my shoulders, I want to go observe.

Investigate the note.

Yeah.

Sweet. Yeah.

Yeah.

As you approach the knife. Yeah, definitely. It's the outline around it. Gets brighter. Who's reading the note?

I'll do it.

Okay. This is what the note says.

Oh, Eloi and little wanderers lost and misplaced. How curious you look in another's face. Skin not your own, breath not yours true. Tell me, does it still feel like you?

I've stitched you together in bodies untrue. A patchwork of souls I've twisted askew. Your voices may falter, your steps may betray. For nothing you are is quite yours.

Today this grove is my garden, my stage, my delight. Where wrong becomes right and day feasts on night.

I'll watch as you wander, confused and afraid, Till the hope starts to rot and courage will fade.

But I am not, not heartless, no, not quite so cruel.

I do love a game, I do love a fool.

Somewhere within what I've broken apart lies.

A path to your flesh, to your body, your heart.

Find what was taken, restore what was torn or live as these strangers forever reborn.

Fail and your souls will take root in this glade. New trees will grow where your bones will be laid. Tick, tick, dear anomalies, your time Slips away. Two hours to win or forever you stay.

This is just terrible. I. I tried. I can't believe that she's coming back.

And in the distance you hear a.

Two hours something that was taken.

So is this how it normally was at your grandmother's house?

It's not her grand. His grandmother.

His.

Her grandmother.

It's just so strange. Explaining to myself that it's not your grandmother. Who's my grandmother?

Wait, who's.

Who's not my grandmother's grandmother, But I am my own grandpa.

Okay, what we have to know is how you got rid of her the first time.

Oh, right.

This is really difficult.

So gross.

It is.

This is like a mental exercise.

Yes, it is way more than I thought.

You have to speak in short sentences.

Hands, they're way out wide.

And her shoulders are big.

Match the voice.

I'm trying to embody the voice.

Yeah, you're doing a really good job.

Thank you. I.

Okay, can you say that again?

So, okay, I'm going to put my hands at my side and. How did you get rid of her the first time?

Well, that's the thing. I don't. I can't really remember. I just remember my hands being tied and a banana stuck in my throat.

That's how you died.

Oh, that is right.

But how did she die? Cause you killed her.

That's a great question.

Before.

My memory's so foggy still, I just feel like the same. It was at the same event. I know she was there and I know that I wasn't in a bathroom or anything. I was in an arena of some sort.

Oh, an arena.

But I can't remember much more. There were other people there, other creatures.

I sound so soft spoken coming from you.

I would like to scramble down stump and I'm like. I want to tickles. Investigate the gnarled. Yeah, Oak.

Yeah, go ahead and roll me a Investigation check, please.

15 Plus we are minus one.

Minus one. So before we started this episode, there was a lot of trying to figure out how to access each other's character sheets. But we got it now and so.

It was a lot of fun.

So. 14.

14.

Cool. That's a. That's a good enough number. I mean, what you're looking for.

So you don't really see anything on the front side of this tree that you're looking at. You're looking through the roots and st. See where the note is? The note actually starts to shrivel up and go away after it was completely red. So the.

The note is like shriveled up and like, gone.

But as you're, like, looking around this tree, you're, like, starting to look around, trying to figure things out, you notice that there's a lot of big gaps within these roots. And so you. You don't see anything from it.

You make your way to the back, and in the back is where you notice down in the roots, you see three cocoons.

Okay.

And when you look at the cocoons, there are. They're, like, wrapped up, but there's, like, a face showing. Oh, you see three faces.

Are they.

They look very similar to the faces you see around.

I see.

And above each cocoon, there is a brass tray. Above each cocoon.

Okay.

And all three trays have a symbol on them.

Ooh, that.

So Stump is kind of like, guys, there's.

There's something in here.

You're going between. Like, Mario.

Guys, let's go into the noddle.

So Eli comes around and says, oh, wow.

Yes, those are faces. Oh, and it looks. This must be a tray for it to find something that was taken, we have to put something in these trays. That's my guess.

There are some symbols.

Does my symbol look like a 69?

No, it does not.

Because that's what EZ would say. But that's not what Stump would say.

Goodness, Lassie, that quite a lot sometimes.

I'm assuming you're gonna look at the symbols on the trays.

Yes, please.

So you notice that easy is on the left, and above easy is the tray. And on the tray there is a horn is the symbol.

It's because they're so horny.

That's. I was close. I was close with the 69 in the middle.

In the middle is Eloi. And on that tray there is a book as the symbol. And you're writing this down. Perfect. And above Stump on the tray, there is a sun symbol.

And not Stump, but now Eloise. Why don't you roll me another investigation check?

Okay, that's a 12 minus 1 1.

Okay.

Can I do something?

Sure.

Stump.

Easy. Now, Stump.

Okay. And what was. What was.

Investigation, please.

Investigation. Well, that's not good. First stump. Okay, you might roll. Well, I did roll an 18, but he has a negative 2 with that, so 16.

Okay, that's good enough. You do notice that when you're investigating the. The cocoons a little bit more. Everything looks normal at first. You're like, okay, that's our faces.

But you do notice one slight difference. Amongst all three faces, you notice that Stump is the only one with, like, a normal face. Eloise. Eloise.

And Easy's faces to you especially, you're like, my face. I have the wrong nose. Your nose is on Eloise body. And Eloise nose is on Easy Spice. So Stump is the only one with the normal face.

And the minute you like, notice that you all fear this rumble, like, oh. And this loud noise coming from behind you. And when you turn around, you now see in the grove, three archways have appeared.

Okay.

One on the left, one in the middle, one on the right.

Okay.

And each archway has a pathway leading into it.

Gotcha.

And I have a huge nose. And when I'm looking.

Now you have a. Now you have a tiny nose, guys. Oh, unless Easy had the bigger nose or he had the bigger.

He had the bigger nose.

Either way, your nose is different. You do notice Stump is the only one that looks accurate at the moment.

And he's on the. When we're looking at stuff is on the right. Yeah, he's on the right.

So when we're looking at the pathways, would we see like the trays and then the pathways and the arches. So the.

The trays are above the cocoons.

Yeah.

And behind you are the three archways. So if we do the archways have no symbols or anything on them.

Okay, guys, Stump figured something out.

What you got?

The symbol for Stump is a star, just like Stump. Stump's the brightest star of all.

That is true.

So we just need to find Eloise.

Grandmother and tell her that.

Okay, Stump, I.

We're done.

I really needed to. Oh man. This is not my grandmother.

This is a very evil unto.

Fine.

Wait. No, that was not your voice backwards.

Eloise grandmother.

Oh man.

That was good impression.

Oh man was good.

Yeah.

Well, which.

Which path?

We have three arches. And do they coincide with the three trays?

Maybe. Perhaps they do.

And so. Well, but let's go through. Should we send you first?

Oh, that's a great idea.

Okay.

But the problem is also. Are we sending Stump as Eloise? Are we sending Stump who is actually Easy?

Ah, what if we send Stump?

Then you want to be Stump and Stump.

The face was good.

And the sun maybe lines up with this arch.

Oh, can I do an investigation for the arch? You said that as far as.

Yeah, you could roll an investigation and see if he knows anything else I want to do.

Eloise is going to do an investigation.

Okay.

For the arm. Well, using easy stats.

So that's why I hate those dice. Because it a one.

What does no mean?

It means one.

So that's actually accurate. No.

So they look like archways and the trays look like trees.

I would like to try.

Okay, go ahead. Roll investigation on the archways.

Oh, a 19.

Are you just looking at. Looking from a distance. Are you going up to investigate them?

I will go up to investigate.

Okay, let's all go up to the trenches.

What's funny is that Lauren is staying in the character so much that she's asking the DM questions in Stump's voice.

I would not do roll.

I've done that before.

Break it.

So, yeah, you all are pretty decent as you all get a little bit closer. So I mean, they're good, like, you know, 30, 40 yards behind you the archway. So a little bit of a walk to get up to them.

The closer you get, you notice that in the middle of these archways, like you were able to see through them, but now there's like a purple, like floating haze just in the archway. There's almost like a portal.

Portals.

Yep. So as you get closer to all three archways, you start to hear a bunch of whispers in the air, like.

Make any distinction of what they're saying.

You may have to get closer to one, but when you're standing in the middle looking at all three, it's almost like you're hearing voices coming from all three of them and they're jumbling up together.

Okay. Oh, good.

Good luck, guys. I wish.

But as far as looking at the archways, there's no symbols on them, nothing like that, just the purple haze.

Okay, so the Elys face was in the middle, right, with the book. Okay, so Elui as Easy walks up to the furthest arch on the right to get a closer look and to listen.

To the right archway?

Yes, to the one on the right as you go.

As you start walking up to the right archway, the voices get clear and louder. Okay. And you hear, that's good.

You pretend to be wise when in fact you know nothing. You meditate to escape reality because you, you know, you are a failure. You can't be trusted.

You hide behind a braid because otherwise you wouldn't be interesting.

Oh, dear Lord, that's harsh.

Stump as Eloi kind of pokes his head around like he was behind him the whole time.

I wonder who that's about.

And.

Eluise says, that was really rude,.

But it sounds seems like it's speaking to some of my greater fears.

And then are you still on my.

Shoulder or no, no, I'm down.

I just pat you.

So I say on the head, easy.

Why don't you come listen and see if it's the same thing, Okay?

I will.

I will do it, actually.

So easy as Stump walks over and you hear the same exact thing. You pretend to be wise, when in fact you know the same exact thing.

So I will go.

You were middle right.

No, to the left.

The left archway, right.

This was the archway all the way on the right.

So I'll go to the one to the left.

Okay, so the far left archway, you hear?

You will never find love. You choked because you wanted a way out. You make jokes to hide the fact that you are insignificant cure and can't cut it in the real world.

Man, that. I don't.

I don't know what they're talking about.

We're talking about.

Is that my easy. Is that my Easy dad talking?

And he and Elui walks up to Easy as Stump and puts his hand on Stump's hip and says, are you okay?

And. And I like turn around with like a forced smile and I'm like, I'm fine. I'm fine. But like, I'm.

It seems like that they're preying on your deepest fears. But fear not. We will face this together.

Oh, that's so nice. Thank you.

Thank you.

This is really difficult.

Wow, these portals are saying some pretty messed up things about you guys.

Is it because of the Malnag?

If I know anything about the Malnag, she does prey on your fears.

I think portals probably just hate you.

Probably.

So I'm imagining that you should walk up to the middle and see what it says.

That's a great idea.

But guard your heart and mind and don't believe all the things there.

My ribcage guards my heart. Well, Stump is not saying Stump as much. This is so strange.

It's weird.

Stump, Louis and Does a. Does A listen.

Yeah, I am like rubbing his little shoulders.

Okay, so you go. You go as well. So then you always. You all would hear this. You hear?

You will never find the treat which you seek. You knew there were innocent people inside. People pretend to like you.

Oh no.

This must be about someone else. Guys, I don't have a portal.

I think this portal belongs to you. My only question now is, should we face our fears and walk into the portals? But what to do with the trays and the symbols?

I think. I think I'm good. I don't.

Let's go into the middle one.

If I know anything about the Malnag, she will make you face your fears. But she is terrifying herself as well. I think that we're meant to walk into these portals.

What if we walked into each other's Portals instead of our own? What if we're not ready to mind games?

You're saying we should split up?

Yes.

All right, I think maybe a volunteer should go. And I'll do it. I'll walk into the portal on the right since it spoke to my greatest fears.

And we'll see what happens.

One sec.

And Stump Louis ties, like, a rope around himself, and he takes the end of the rope, and he swings it, and he throws it into the portal.

Ooh.

And he goes, oh, wait, that's backwards.

And then he pulls it out, and can I tie it to. Is there a tree somewhere I could tie the rope to?

Not around these portals.

So easy.

Says, well, he puts the rope away.

You can.

You can tie it. You can tie it to me.

Oh, that's a grand idea.

And I just, like, stand, and I.

Have really firm footing, and I put my hands on my shoulder. Not my shoulders, but my hips. And I just really taken being large and in charge.

Stump once won a tree lookalike contest, so this is fantastic.

So can I tie the other end around me before I go in this portal?

Rope aside. Around Stump at easy as stump.

And then.

And then I got the typed around.

Stump Louie is gonna go in to the middle.

I'm going in. I'm doing it to the middle. I'm doing it right now.

Dan, you're tied around.

All right, so Stump Louie is going into the middle door.

Yes.

That had, like, the things that were for Stump, like, as far as the thing. Okay, so Stump as Eloi.

Well, it's up for debate if it's about Stump.

Yeah. All right. So you are going in.

Yes.

Okay. Yeah. As you begin to, like, make your way, you're tied up. You walk. You start to hear those same things.

You know, you'll never find the treat you seek. People pretend all those things. You face this purple curtain portal in front of you, and you step right through.

Okay.

And as you step through, you two that are on the outside get sucked right in with Stump Louis, even with my firm footing.

Yep.

I'm glad.

I wanted my congratulations.

You have guessed correctly on the first one. I'm surprised you got that without. Without the other clues I expected you to look for. You got it right on the first try. All right.

I'm not gonna say anymore, but you got this one right on your first try. Okay.

That's so funny.

That is very funny.

Oh, dumb luck.

Okay.

As you all enter this room, like, you two on the outside are like, he disappears for a second before you could even be like, look at each other and go yeah. Or you know, whatever. It just. You're sucked right into the portal as well.

Okay.

And you all three appear on the other side of this portal where behind you the archway still exists. There's still a purple haze, but in front of you is wide open spaces. The sun is shining.

Birds are flying high in the air, singing their beautiful songs. Rivers and lakes surround them and the water is calm and peaceful. What you see is just this open like beautiful meadow.

There's a few trees here and there you see bird. Lots of birds just flying around singing their songs. Some are in the treetops. It's just the weather is warm.

You can feel the sunshine and this seems just very peaceful.

Let's just live here.

Okay.

Yeah, that sounds good.

And so yeah says we're just kind of like looking around and taking it all in. And Elui is like wow,.

This is really, really nice. A great place to meditate.

Did easy always like I thought. Okay. So I thought it was just sword.

This is a lot of. Is actually a little more gassy. But probably okay.

Easy does have gas. That is canon.

But probably just has been really startled by the change.

Okay. So yeah. You find yourself this peace player. What do you all do?

I would like to do a perception check.

All right.

Roll a perception check.

That is a 10 plus 2 or 12.

Woohoo.

Basically everything I described to you. Yeah, same thing.

Okay, cool.

From what you can see where you are at, you can see the meadow goes a long way. Like there's a lot of area, open area.

But like.

And there's a. Yeah. To like the very left. There's like some streams. To the right there's a lake.

Okay.

But everything's wide open. But I mean it does go ways in every area. But in your immediate vicinity, nothing besides what I explained to you.

Cool.

Should we go to one of the bodies of water?

I don't really know what else to.

Easy takes a few. Or Elui takes a few steps forward to kind of look at that kind of cautiously. Definitely cautiously to look at the water. The body of water.

Yeah. It's going to be a little bit of walk to get there. I mean you can see it but it's not like oh it's just a hop, skip and a jumper here. Yeah.

So you begin to make your journey to the river or the lake.

Going to the lake.

The lake.

Okay.

So to the. And there's that the east.

And there's nobody else that we can see so far. So we're just besides the birds Alone.

Yeah.

I'm going with.

Do we notice any change in Stump?

Yes, there is one thing that has changed. I'm sorry, I totally forgot to say this. Now, Stump. Louis.

Yeah.

You notice that Stump looks normal.

Huh?

Some spotty. But you do notice that Easy's body nose looks a little different.

Okay.

And Easy if you look at. Or Eloise. Easy if you look at yourself, Eloise, you notice that the nose is also different on that.

Gotcha.

On me.

Yeah. You're all. Your body. You're looking. Yeah. Stump is the only one in this new area whose face looks the same.

But your noses are swapped just like the cocoons.

Gotcha.

And then you could probably notice that by looking in the water and seeing the reflection.

Yeah. And even just looking at each other, like you notice something's off. Like you look different than you were a second ago. Yeah.

So as you now make your way to the lake, you're walking along, you know, doing a little bit of a journey, kind of having to go down this trail. And as you're looking at the lake, you.

You kind of spot something to the left a little bit when you're walking down this trail that you couldn't quite see from where you were started because now you've been walking for a little bit. So now this is now coming into view.

You notice that there is a pedestal just out in the middle of this little filled area that was covered from high brush from where you were before. But now as you're getting closer and moved around some different paths, you now see there's a pedestal.

And on this pedestal is this bright yellow orb that is like very shiny.

Guess what else is bright yellow orb?

The sun.

Oh, I did not even.

We gotta go get that. Okay.

Yeah.

So Illui, as Easy says, hey, look,.

There's a sun out there. Let's go get it.

There's always a sun out there as long as it's daytime.

Well, on the pedestal in the grassy area.

Oh, that one. That's not the sun.

Don't go touch it.

Or an orb.

Oh, don't touch it.

Wait, so let's go.

Something you understand now?

Yes, let's go.

Elui takes a turn and starts heading toward the pedestal.

Cool. Yeah. As you're heading towards this pedestal, like you're getting closer to it. Birds are still singing, weather's still beautiful.

There's a breeze going. Get closer.

You.

You get up to the pedestal and it is just sitting out here in the open. It is an old stone pedestal that looks like a bird bath. And. Yeah, that's just bright orb you. It looks like it should be so bright it hurts your eyes.

But you can stare at it just fine. But you do notice there's a lot of like light coming from it.

If there's one thing Stump knows, it's taking a valuable object from a pedestal never had a consequence. Let's take it.

Don't touch it. Maybe we should investigate before touching. But.

Oh, we're really good at that. Let's do that.

I'm not very good at. Well, actually I've been rolling fairly well.

I think you want to investigate.

I think. I think investigating before because maybe.

Because maybe it's like wicked smart.

What is that? Like a palantir? You can't really touch those. Is that what they are like in.

Oh, a palantir. Yeah, it might cause you to.

Yeah. Like.

Yeah, most do. Investigation. Yeah, yeah.

Palantir or those things in Spencer's Gifts.

Yes.

There you go.

13 Minus 2.

Just a normal investigation, like whether, like whether it can.

Yeah. What are you looking for?

Like to see if there's. Or maybe. I don't know, I'm like, would we know like if this is safe to touch?

Yeah.

Or to pick up.

I would like to investigate to see if it's harmful. Yeah, but you're. It's your role so.

Yeah. So am I able to discern whether it is safe to touch?

I mean just off an investigation, not knowing anything about it, you wouldn't know if it's safe or not to touch by just doing an investigation check. From what you can see, there's nothing holding this down. There doesn't seem to be any like levers or buttons or spikes anywhere.

And stump doesn't really have a whole lot of clothing. So it's not like I can take something off to wrap it in. Right.

We could just like get some like dirt and mud and make a ball.

Or like a leaf. Like a big leaf.

Oh, you wanted to wrap it, not replace it. You don't want to do the Indiana Jones thing?

Oh no, I just don't want to touch it.

I was going somewhere else. Yeah, yeah. Why not?

Well, we could cut some grass.

We see out here.

You do like cutting the grass, don't you?

Sure, I've got plenty of daggers for it. Here's one for each blade. Oh, a blade for a blade. Stump feels smarter in this body.

So Eli would like to also look at it to see if there's anything strange.

Do you want to do like an arcana check?

Yeah, maybe like an arcana or nature. Something so, okay, we'll shoot for arcana. Check.

Perfect. Okay. Okay, here we go.

You got this.

That's a no.

Oh, my God.

That's why I told you,.

Dear listener. That's another NAT one.

He's using my cursed red dice.

Is it really? That was just a test scroll because I gave him a new D20.

You gotta take a picture of this.

Okay, so now a real one. Yeah, no, we go.

I can go.

We can go with one. Yep.

That was what. That was the original rule. Yeah.

That's crazy, though.

I mean, as far as, you know, like, Even with that NAT1, you know, like, it's. There's definitely something magical about this. It's an orb. It's glowing very bright, you know, so there's definitely something magical.

Change Stump back into his thing. No one should touch it but him because this was your archway.

Take it anymore.

You mean Stump is going to get.

Oh, wait, no, you're a boy.

I was like, he's going to get his thing back.

But his thing, that's me.

I'm hoping for my thing back.

Listen, Stump. Or easy, fake Stump. Can I have uppies? Give Stump uppies.

And then I'm like.

And then I'm like, come here, little fella.

Oh, thank you.

And I. I grab the orbeez.

Grab the orb. Yeah, you grab it.

It. You.

The minute you touch it, like, it's not hot. It's got a cool feel to it. You lift it up just fine. We were all scared to be anything.

We were so scared of this thing.

Oh, well, why wouldn't we be scared of it?

It's just like Stump said. So now we've got a little sun.

We need to probably go put it in the thing.

Oh, yeah, this is a good idea. Let's go. So the portal.

Is the porter still there? Portal still there?

Yeah, you can see it just up on the ridge. Yeah, the portal is still there. Like, it's kind of small from. Because you took a good walk, but yeah, you see it.

You guys want to trek?

So I have you on my shoulder and then you're down below, but I grab your hand and I just like, bolt.

Sweet. Like you're like running.

Yeah.

Okay, so as you're like running, you notice that as you get about 10, 20ft away from the pedestal, the orb starts to lose some of its luminosity. And the world around you also is like the sun is setting. Oh, and the. The further. And then the further you keep running, like it's getting darker.

And you see the sky starting to Turn red. And you see all the birds just starting to give these evil squawks, these terrible yells.

And Stump as Eloise, you remember this from that time you were sleeping or you that you know out there and there's blood screaming curls. Do you keep running, Stump? As easy or easiest Stump. Do you keep running?

You're running and we are on your.

A.m. like slowing down, and then I'm.

Like, wait a second. What?

So as you kind of slow down and say, wait a second, all of a sudden you just hear these, like, evil squawks as three birds dive. Oh, no. All right, that is going to be. I'm going to roll an attack from these guys. We should have kept running.

We're getting surprise attacked maybe.

Oh, that's a good one.

Should have launched him through the portal.

Okay, so now when I say character names, that's your bodies. Okay, so Stump, since you're the bigger one, and Eloi. Old Stump or New Stump? New Eloe. Sorry, New Stump. New Eloie. There we go. Yeah, yeah.

Lauren and Nathan, that's me. You're both getting attacked. They miss you. Okay, New Easy. They miss you. But. So yeah, you two. These. These birds look like they. They look like flowers.

They're beautiful. They look like flower creatures, but now they look mangled and larger teeth and their beaks become sharper and they come at such great speed.

All right, and they're going to roll some damage.

Snap.

You each take four points of damage. Not terrible, terrible, but you take damage and then they like, swoop back up. Is there anything you all would like to do?

Yeah, let's go.

Let's get to the gateway. Let's run.

Oh, well, should we keep going or should we turn back? I'm confused.

I think we get there.

You hear there's another round of birds starting to make some dive bombs.

Okay, let's go.

This is scary. And. And yeah, and so Eloise pulling on easy.

Back that way.

Okay, so since you keep running, they're going to take another dive bomb attack. Since you're just out in the open.

Misses.

Second one definitely hits. The third one misses. This one's gonna go for New Eloie. You're gonna get hit for nine points of damage.

Oh, nice.

As this bird just begins to rip at your shoulder for. Okay, New Easy. Yeah, Nick.

And so we are in. So this is like an environmental thing. So we are not really. It's just swift.

If you want it. If you want to attack one of these, you surely can.

Quick question on just like mechanics does it work like, if we begin attacking, are we like, locked in to combat? Like, we can't leave? Or can. Can we escape even if we attack?

You could totally attack. Yeah, this is more environmental. Not necessarily. We're going to do initiative combat because.

There's so many birds.

Yep, there's a lot. And there's no way this is gonna be a turn by turn combat. So you all could just tell me what you do.

And once you do something, they're gonna attack again.

How close are we now?

That's the question.

You're about halfway back to the portal.

You think so?

That's my vote.

Oh, my gosh. Okay, you guys seem.

Wait, wait, wait. I'm on your shoulder.

Yeah, you two are on the shoulder running.

I'm throwing daggers.

There you go.

So many of these boys.

There you go.

I'm.

I'm so sorry.

Because you have so many daggers, three.

More are swooping down. What do you do?

I'm throwing daggers.

Okay, go ahead and make an attack.

Okay.

What are you doing?

Easy's like, stump, put me on your shoulders.

I mean, easy. I'm elui Put me on your shoulders.

And then I'm like, come here.

Okay, I got a nine plus seven, so.

Oh, that hits.

Okay, and so roll.

Go ahead and roll your damage on the dagger. And then while he's rolling, damage.

1D6 plus.

So as stump puts easy on his shoulders, he pulls. He whips. He pulls out his flail and just starts helicoptering.

Oh, that's awesome. Okay, so the dagger you threw.

Six damage.

Six damage. Nice. So, yeah, you see these birds coming down. You chuck a dagger and you see it, it stabs this bird and, like, goes clean through.

And it's like the feathers go everywhere. So one. One bird down. All right, you're swinging your flail doing,.

Like an area right now.

I think I just put that on my character, like, as I leveled up. So have fun with that. You're using it before I get to use it.

All right, roll me an attack roll with your flail.

19 Plus 6.

Nice. Roll some damage.

Okay. And damage is going to be 1d8 plus 4. Oh, awesome.

5. 5 Damage. Believe it or not, that's enough to completely destroy the next two birds that were coming down.

Since you were swinging it, it has such a good attack. Roll it. Actually, they both, like, fly into the path of the spinning flail.

I'm just like, patting you both on the back.

So I'm hella with the flail.

It's like a force.

You're getting daggers you're getting closer now to the door. And there's one last like swooping of birds. You see about 10 of these suckers are coming down.

These ones though, they don't necessarily attack to like bites. They are, they kind of.

They fly by and they like swoop their tail and you just see spikes like it's almost like a volley of arrows are now coming down at all.

Can I just like. Well, when you're done, I would just like to punch a bird.

Does. Does our flail shield affect possibly.

So I gotta roll six times here. Okay. Okay. So these volley of arrows, are you gonna continue swinging your flail? Yes.

He's easy as flailing and I'm doing this in the studio.

Oh, just, just like this. It's like Nick has never looked cooler.

Okay.

He's fist pumping essentially.

Yes. That's. I was like what's.

What is he doing?

What's that called? The F is bumping.

Okay, so eight arrows have made it through.

Wow, that's a lot of them.

Yes, there was a lot of arrows. Eight have made it through the flail in the area. And so now what I'm going to do is I'm going to. There's three of you.

So I'm going to roll a D6 to see who takes the blunt of these arrows.

There's three of us for now.

Oh, sorry, I forgot to mention you're One, two, three.

Gotcha.

Oh, and then five and six count is three. So Eloi, who is spinning the flail? They.

Maybe you turn your wrist just the wrong way or something but they made their way through and you're going to take at least four arrows. Damage. Seven points of damage.

Seven points. Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

That's stump.

Manageable.

Big stump, New stump. You are going to take eight points of damage.

Why?

And as you get hit with these volley of arrows you start to hear behind you just even bigger bird sounds. But at this point, stump is.

New stump is still running and dives right through the door at the last minute as you hear almost like pterodactyl size bird come down and right through the portal back to the grove.

That's what's up.

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We said now.

Yeah. You make your way back to the grove, the sun in hand. The. The. Or the sun orbed. Yeah.

You kind of get back up, pull out some of those spikes that were in you, and now what do you do?

Fake stump put it in.

Yeah.

I end it here.

And.

Oh, you're already getting smarter because your stump. I'm stump Take stomp to the stump, please.

Yes.

And so I go inside the stump where stump is and take stump next to the stump.

And so. Stump. Stump.

Yes.

Just. Just put it here.

I put the stump. Yes. In the stump.

I think we're all in the same stump.

Stop.

Stakes up.

So what in English, what does this mean?

I didn't quite.

I'm kidding.

So we take this son, and we put it in.

Yes.

On the tray.

On the sun.

As the sun.

As you take the tray or the sun, you put it on the tray above stump's head. Okay. The stump's body, you know, put it. And as you put it in there, it's almost like this dome covers the sun.

This clear dome that's on the tray to like, hold it in place. And you notice Stump's body begins to turn that same purple hue. And the cocoon is slowly starting to come off of Stump's body.

But it's moving at a very slow pace. But it's coming. And in the distance you hear, oh,.

Man, that's at least 15 minutes, maybe an hour.

I don't know.

But we better get in the next one.

Roll an investigation check now on the bodies.

Why are we doing so many investigation checks?

There's a lot to see.

I rolled. Oh. So I rolled a 2. But I have minus 2. So I got it. 0.

17 For me. 17.

Okay, 7. Nice. So with the 17, you notice that as Stump's body is now beginning to the cocoons coming off you like you remember the nose situations, right?

With the thing. And as you come back out, you notice your noses are back to where they were as far as, like, the live ones.

Now, looking at the two bodies left, Easy and Eloi, you notice that Easy's face is normal, but Eloise face is a little distorted. Like, his face looks to be a little twisted.

She just really hates you.

She does not like Eloie the Malnag. Yeah.

And you have two symbols left. You have the book symbol above Eloise, and you have the horn symbol above Easy.

Okay, so elui says, okay, are you all ready?

Let's go through the one on the right. Let's go through mine.

Sounds like a grand idea.

Oh, or we can do the one.

On the left or. Which is for you.

Or for.

The one on the right is for ilui, who is me. Yes, I know I look like you. Easy, this can be complicated sometimes.

To the right portal.

To the right, to the right, to the right.

Okay.

Yeah.

So elui. Yeah, so elui.

Different song.

As Easy goes into the right portal.

Oh, yeah. So Eloise. Easy, who goes into the right portal. You start to hear the same things on the right.

You pretend to be wise when in.

Fact you know nothing. Blah, blah, blah, blah. As you get to that portal, I need you to make a dexterity saving throw. Oh, shoot.

As easy, not Eloi.

You're welcome.

Oh, my gosh. Dexterity.

So I will say, earlier, Corey pointed out that there were clues we didn't find.

We probably should have looked for those clues. It's a whopping 11, which I know is gonna pass any.

So you, like, you know, you're walking through the door that has Eloise like fears, you know, and you're like, I'm Eloise. I'm gonna walk through.

You walk through, and as you hit the portal expecting to walk through, you just feels this burning sensation rush through your body as it pushes you back. What? And impossible. And you take. You're not gonna take a whole lot of damage. You are just gonna take 1d4 damage on that.

So you're gonna take 3 damage.

Okay.

Lightning damage.

Son of a.

And you hear in the distance.

Subtract 30 minutes.

Oh, no, wait.

Did I go through the long. I was the one on the ride, though, with the brakes.

But maybe you were. But maybe might not be the right door.

The.

Okay, well, you already think it has.

To do with what person goes through what portal, or do you think there's, like, something we're just completely missing, and these portals aren't even.

Wait a second.

You were Eluie, but you went through the stump because you went through the stump. Yeah, yeah.

So he went through the middle door.

For our listeners to the left then.

No. So. So for listeners, yes, the middle door was Stump spheres.

Yeah.

And Stump as Eloi went through it and it did work.

Yes, but your door was now.

But Eloise door was on the right with Eloise fears, and Eloise tried to go through it, Easy went through it, but this time it didn't.

Okay, so he did go through his.

Own fear door, and that didn't work. And there's only one other option. There's only three of us, thankfully. So.

So, so either you try the right.

Door, you gotta go through the right.

So I go through the left.

Go through the left.

Go through the left, buddy.

How much damage have you taken? Are you good?

I've still got 20. Oh, can I do a second win or can I do a second wind as a.

To heal yourself?

That's right.

It's a whopping two. Plus four is six. Puts me back up to 26.

Woohoo.

Okay.

Yeah, you know, no big deal. Three damage or so. All right, so all right, I'm gonna.

Try this again on the other side. Here I go.

There's that second wind.

There it is.

So, so Eloi as Easy is gonna go through the. The left door, which has easy fears, easy spheres.

All right, so as Eloi as Easy goes through easy spheres doors, can you please make me a dexterity saving throw?

We need to look for these clues, guys. Son of a. Oh, it's a nat 20.

So I won't even make you take half damage since you did so well with the NAT20. But you hear.

15 Minutes subtracted, so.

You've wasted pretty much about an hour. Now you have an hour left.

Oh, maybe I should try each door.

And then I'm like, I'm just. And I start scrambling and I'm like, wait, wait.

Let's just wait and talk about this.

Okay, okay, seriously, let's talk about this.

Could you give me a refresher on what's around us? I know we got the gnarled oak.

Yeah, the gnarled oak tree. You have the three bodies in cocoons, which stumps is now like, being released. The cocoon is now getting released and he's like, glowing purple.

You have the trays above the note is gone. And then you have the three archways.

Okay, I'm just throwing spaghetti at the archways here. Should we try to grab one of the bodies and do something with the body, like remove it and throw it through a portal.

Okay, so I had assumed. So what I assumed was that the that's because Stumps fear stump had to face his fears and go through the door in the middle.

Yes.

And you did that and it worked.

Yeah.

And. And Corey was surprised.

Yes, well, you're surprised we figured it out without actually doing it the way we're supposed to.

So then I will say you all.

Have the answer to this. I did give you the answer already through one of the things. Things you looked at. I'm not gonna tell you what it was.

But you do have the answer of what you need to do.

It is the where on which plate is the sun? Is it on the left, middle or right?

The one above Stomp and Stomp is in the right.

Oh, I thought stuff would be in the middle because his archway was in the middle. But that's not.

Yeah, your archway is in the middle but your bodies are not laid out correctly. Okay.

Your guys's noses are swapped. Not anymore.

Out here.

Not anymore.

His face now on the cocoons. On the cocoons. They're also not swapped anymore.

Okay, okay. Okay. And your face is twisted.

You're close to putting it together, but you haven't put it together yet.

I thought logic would follow that Elui.

Yes.

His real Eli would face the fears. And that did.

I will say you're not wrong Stump.

I had the wrong nose Stump.

Louis has like. He's like can I move the bodies or is that not possible?

I mean, if you want to try to touch them, you're more than welcome to try to touch them.

That is one of those things you say when I'll get before. No, I don't want to do that.

Oh, what did I so okay, somebody with the right face has to walk in through the portal.

Oh, maybe your face is right.

So my face is right.

Oh, and my face is not.

And you're the only one who' the.

Eye shaped Go through your own portal.

It's your turn when you're you can't face your fears until your face is right.

You have to have a face to face.

You got the right face to face your fears. That's crazy face.

And then I.

And then I as easy this guy I.

It's all coming together.

Go in backwards through no face it the easy store. Yes.

So easy.

Don't go in back. You're about to get easy.

And Stumps body walks over to the portal. Walks over to the archway that has easy spheres.

Yes.

So easy. As stump walks up to this and as you're walking up to the portal. You walk right in.

Yeah, but first she turned around and she twerked in.

That's what I said.

So piecing together like you said, welcome. Whoever's face is normal is the one to face the fears.

Okay.

Love it.

Okay, so there it is. Louise says, guys, we better hurry.

We gotta hurry.

I'm already in there.

Aren't we getting. Oh, yeah.

Aren't we sucked right now?

Exactly. You're getting sucked right now on the show.

Really get sucked right now.

That is inappropriate.

Okay, so you all got sucked into this archway, and so now we will see. See where this takes you. So congrats on solving the second part of the puzzle.

We're so smart.

You're so smart.

Try first try. No time wasted at all.

Oh, yeah, you got about hours left at one hour left. Because of the. The failed attempts earlier. We won't say who did those, but. Yeah.

So as you come through the pathway, before you lies a quaint small village. Happy families can be seen going about their day. Children laughing and playing in the streets. There are people buying things from merchants.

The sun is shining. A nice breeze in the air. It is perfect. And there's a path that leads down to this village. And everything just seems to be in perfect harmony.

Oh, that's nice.

Perhaps we should go into the village.

Easy. We have to find the horn. So that's what we're looking for here.

Okay, well, we need to. Where would that be? I don't know. I was trying to think of a sexual joke, but I couldn't think of anything.

Oh, Stump is growing on you.

I guess so.

So maybe they've got a bar.

Maybe Stump could use a stiff one. Wait, not. No.

Just lining her up for these jokes new to this.

Okay.

And so I. Let's go find some stuff.

Let's.

Let's do that.

Heading to the village.

Let's.

Yeah, yeah, Go.

Yeah. So you make your way down the pathway, and the pathway leads down a hill. Okay.

And you notice that, like, your path intersects with another path that leads into. And then the path that it intersects into also goes the opposite direction, like leaving out of town.

And so the path grabs this path, and you walk down into this village.

And as you enter this village, you notice that the walls around this village, so they were like, almost like wooden old school wood farm fences, you know, around this village.

But as you actually enter the village, those wooden fences that surround the whole village actually turn into like solid wood and raise up about 15ft, almost like encasing the whole village, they don't seem to notice the people here. It just seems like when you enter, it's like, oh, defenses are up.

Okay.

You know, around this village, we are able to enter. Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah. It doesn't keep you from entering because the path you walk in is, like, the main entrance.

Yeah.

But once you get in, from the outside, it looks just like a small fence. But when you go inside the village, boom, those walls shoot up.

Gotcha.

Yep. So it's almost like this defense mechanism around this village. As you come in, everyone's going about their day. It's a normal, small village.

All right. If I was a horn, where would I be?

Can I do a perception check for horns?

Sure.

Roll for a horny.

I've rolled all nines today. It's crazy.

Yeah.

Roll for horn plus one.

I believe it's a plus one. Yeah. So 10.

10.

I'm shocked that you're allowing this.

Yeah. 10. I mean, you don't. There's so much going on, you can't pinpoint anything.

Okay, okay.

With a 10.

Okay.

Very fair.

Okay.

I would also like to roll for horns.

Look around to see if I can find maybe someone selling horns or. Or maybe I would like to look to. I don't know if I can do a history check to see what place or would be most likely to have.

A horn or do we hear it? Hear anything, like, any music playing?

Because, wait, wait, is it a horn, like, an animal horn, or is it like a trumpet?

Because it is shaped like an animal horn.

Okay.

Oh.

Because I was like, oh, maybe we didn't.

Not a music horn for music. So.

Okay. Normally when I have those thoughts, Cory.

And I have the same around a tavern.

Oh, yeah, there is an animal horn.

How are we not gonna drink drinking out of a horn at a tavern? So I would like to start walking toward a tavern.

There you go.

Yeah.

Trump would also like to go to a tavern for some reason.

Hey, friends, let's go toward this tavern and see what's in there.

It's kind of more towards the center of town where this tavern is.

All the while, head on the swivel for a horn.

Okay.

Head on the swivel.

As you, you know, make your way to the tavern. Eventually, you get to the tavern. What should this tavern's name be?

Horny Toad.

Yeah, I like that.

The horny Toad.

I was gonna say the place that has a horn.

We'll go with the horny toad. So you make your way into the horny Toad, and as you make your way in everything here is just. Is lizard themed inside this tavern.

Like there's like lizard, lizard or amphibians.

Or is it a horny toad?

A lizard would definitely not be an amphibian as that they live in water and a horny toad is a desert dwelling creature.

I did not know, I take it back.

Get fact bogged.

But some I've heard can shoot blood from their eye.

From their eyeball. Yeah. So as you make your way into here, you see like there is a lot of like lizard paraphernalia and things happening in here. A few small.

It's not a very large tavern obviously because it's a small village.

But yeah, there, there is a bartender who's standing behind the bar, he's, you know, cleaning some, some glasses out and he's putting some plates together and just kind of seems like he's getting ready for the day. Seems to be earlyish morning when you all arrive here. There's no other guests, but the door is open. Yeah, that's what you see as you walk in.

So Eloise walks up to the bar and dips his plate metal down just a little bit and says his.

Hey, good looking fella.

That's what I was gonna say. Is he good looking?

You just hear clink on the bar top. Turns around, you see a young man, about his mid-20s, kind of tall, like six four, like decent height, you know,.

And tall, that's for sure.

And he's cleaning glasses out.

He's like, oh, I'm sorry, I didn't hear you there.

Didn't hear you walk in. You all must be new to town. He's cleaning his glass while he's looking at you. And he places up. What can I do for you?

Well, first I'd like a pint of beer. The largest one you have, please.

Sure.

16 Ounces. Okay.

Do you have anything larger than that?

Sorry, we try to keep a cap on things around here, but we do have a 16 ounce.

Sure, that'd be wonderful. Okay.

Yeah, sure. Any, any particular type of beer? We have IPAs, we have lagers.

An ale would be wonderful.

An ale. We don't get a lot of ale.

Drinkers around here, believe it or not, but okay. And he like blows off one of the taps and pours an ale, sparks.

It down flying here, I can just,.

I can tell that'll just be a copper.

Oh, of course.

And so Stump Easy, or Louis, hands.

Him a copper stump, puts like two daggers on the counter.

How many bitters can Stump get for these?

You're not gonna have Many daggers next week.

Looks at his. Looks at these daggers and is like, these are. These are mighty fine daggers. You know what, Stump, what the hell are you doing?

You could drink all week on me.

Oh, fantastic.

My dad, he's already put him behind the counter.

It's all right.

You've got so many of them.

Have.

Do you know of any horns around?

That's so awkward.

Well, I mean, you come to horn.

Toad village asking if there's horns around.

I mean, sure, show us a. One of the favorites.

Show us your favorite horn.

These are some very weird questions you're asking.

I mean there's.

Well, we're looking for a corn.

Toads don't have big horns, if that's what you're looking for. Are you talking like.

Like the.

The instrument that makes terrible noises that you blow in?

Maybe one that might belong to an animal even?

No, I mean for a special kind of horn.

You know what I mean?

I. I really don't know what you mean.

I mean, I don't even know who you all are. I don't even know your name.

I interrupt and.

And I'm like, what do you think of this lady? She's. She's a good looking lady.

I mean, she's fine looking down, you know, like smallish.

And Elu has a huge smile on his face. Just like really interested in this conversation.

So awkward.

Where are my manners? I'm sorry, what are your names?

My name's Esmerel's a Fitz monster.

That's close enough.

A stump is Stump.

Okay, I'm Stump.

So two stumps. Interesting.

I'm also stumped.

Okay, well, my name is dude. Whoa. 14. Very nice to meet you.

People we meet that have numbers in their name.

Yeah, I was. Yeah, interesting name my parents gave me. Dude. Whoa. 14. I don't know if that's just like some code name they gave me, but.

Are there 13 others of you?

I. If there were, I don't know where they're at.

That's really sad. Yeah.

Interesting.

That makes stump.

I'm pretty sure I'm an only child.

Stump could be our new dude.

Whoa.

Oh. Could you be dude?

Well, 15.

Sure. Here, have a dagger.

Oh, thank you. What's another dagger? Behind the bar. He's strapping around his waist.

It's fine. You've got so many.

Oh, it's.

Well, you've had so many.

Probably doubted.

Now, as far as the horn thing goes. I'm sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about, but here's some ales. Very nice. To meet you. I'm gonna go back to cleaning some things.

If you need me, just. Just call me. But. Yeah, I really don't know what you need.

Okay, let's get out of here. We got to find a horn somewhere else.

Let's. Let's go back out and let's.

And then come back easy.

He mentioned merchant.

Easy pounds the L and like, lightning speed.

That's what's up.

And he's like, well, he. Louis says, well, it's time to go. And walks out and looks around outside.

I want to look around to see if there's anything that might give us a clue whether there's livestock or. I would like to gaze at the merchants and then look around.

Give me a perception check.

Okay. This is gonna be amazing. It is a 15.

Plus one. 16.

Perfect.

Okay.

Yeah.

As you.

You're kind of keeping in mind you mentioned livestock and other things. You notice that this is also a big agricultural farming village community. You do see, like, you notice you're scanning everything around.

Maybe you're all walking around for about 10 minutes or so. You do notice that there are. You do notice some pig pens. You notice some chicken coops.

Do the pigs have horns?

They do not. Chicken coops do not have horns.

There are some sheep pens, horned chickens.

There are some donkey pens.

No horns there.

There's a horse pen, and there is a pen that is empty.

There's got to be a horn.

There's a lot of crap laying on the ground, and the gate is open. But nothing's in this one pen. But every other pen has animals in it, but there is one pen that is empty.

Okay. We walk toward the empty pen looking for tracks. Well, I was gonna say like a caretaker.

I mean, there's definitely somebody likes, like, shoveling.

Okay.

What are they. What are they shoveling?

What do you think they're shoveling?

He's a poop something.

He's a poop smith.

Louie, in attempt to be like, easy,.

Says, hey, good looking fella.

Oh, my God.

What are you doing there?

As this old man turns around,.

What.

Does it look like I'm doing? I'm shoveling.

Are you 12? 15.

My name is Frank.

Frank, what animal? I just had a question. We were curious, and we're from out of town. What kind of animal was in this pen?

Well, if you look at the. On the floor, you see how round and flat it is? No, obviously they're cows and bulls that have been in here.

Aha.

And where are they now? The bull? I don't see any bulls.

Oh, they took them out grazing. They should be back any minute now.

Oh, where do you usually take him in grazing? Which direction?

There's a big strong man like you. That's what you're sounding like.

But a big strong man like you shoveling that.

It's so romantic.

He's like, well, it's on the north hill. They take him grazing out there. And he's pointing to like the pathway that you all came in. It's that pathway that goes out.

So the one that you connected into command, that keeps going further up the hill. Like they're up that way. Okay. Oh, wow.

Thank you so much. And then I turned, I'm like, let's.

Get out of here quick up the hill. We gotta find this horn from this bull.

I. Are you sure, man?

I'm.

I gosh. There has to be.

Oh, did we see anything in the market?

No, I mean, just like pottery and there's.

Let's follow the cow lead.

Nothing. Hornes.

Okay.

It's. Dude.

Yeah.

You know, is there something that you wanted to say?

I just feel like there would be. I think that's.

You think it's too simple?

I think it's too simple.

Too obvious.

Too obvious.

Too.

The.

On the horn.

Horn.

Oh my goodness.

While you all are discussing this. Yeah. While you all are discussing this and like figuring out like, why. Why is this so easy? Whatever, you start to feel the ground kind of.

You were taking way too long.

Oh my God.

You're starting to feel like more archways, some vibration going on. No one's really seeming to notice this, but you all are feeling.

As you look at the ground, you see like some gravel going like up and down, like bouncing on the ground.

They're not noticing cuz they're NPCs. None of this is real, man. Oh, Malnag, guys.

Freaking Malnag.

We're being malnagged.

If you. If it's not copyright, can you put the oblivion like NPC music music here, please?

We'll see.

I mean, so far they're not noticing. Let's just put it that way. So far they're not noticing.

All right, let's go.

Let's go after this cow.

Let's go find the cow.

So Louie starts walking back out the trail.

As you start walking back up the trail before you get to the exit that leaves out of town, the the was getting louder and this time people are starting to notice, like, what's going on. Like, and as you look up the hill, you see a small figure in like metal armor. Like Running away in the distance, like, kind of laughing.

And then coming over the hill, you see just a stampede. Cows and bulls.

Oh, no.

Making their way to this village.

What are we doing here?

Are we trying to find the bull in the stampede with one horn?

You do notice that there are cows and there are bulls with horns. People are starting to freak out and, like, grab their kids because they're coming straight for the town.

Okay, we got an easy. We got it. Or Louie says, get on a high place somewhere quick and starts crawling up with distress because he has plates.

Armor on.

Up on top of some of the shanty houses.

Or stump. Like, scrambles up stump, new stump, fake.

Stump is on your shoulders.

How many? How many do we see?

Oh, there's several hundred head of several hundred.

Because I was gonna maybe just try and stand in front of it, but.

That would not be.

We're gonna need them.

Who's the plated figure person?

Who do you think it is?

Freaking Krause Dave on crows.

Nope.

No, he's not. He's not plated. He has suspenders.

That's true.

Is it?

How do you not know this?

Oh, hold on. No, this is so easy. It's totally.

Yes, it is easy. It's easy. This is how easy killed all the. The people that ended up in the dmv. She smacked. She smacked the cow that caught.

Caused a stampede that killed all those innocent villagers.

I didn't even.

You are now currently in the village.

That you murdered all the innocent people contest. Oh, my.

I didn't even. I didn't put that together.

Did we miss, like, a train puzzle in my portal?

Nope.

Okay.

Okay, Never mind.

Never mind.

Nope.

So I just beg the question, though.

What happened? What happened there?

Who did that?

Why, that. That's really.

That's unfortunate for this town as I.

My eyes still twitching. My eyes been twitching the whole game.

So Elui looks out because he's on top of, like, I'm. I'm imagining, like, some kind of grass thatched roof. Like, as he's crawled, she has crawled.

Louis has crawled up a pole and looks out and sees this metal. This tiny, small person in metal plate armor and is like, is that me you?

Is that you? Is that me you?

That's. That's me you.

Yes. So as you all are kind of climbing up to higher ground, the stampede is definitely getting closer.

But now you're starting to see, like, children running, like, where's my mommy?

Where are you?

There's about four or five just, like, innocent children running around. And there's Some people who are also climbing up and some are trying to gather. You know, that unless something happens, these children might not get.

Okay.

Yeah. Definitely jumps on the ground and tries to.

Oh, sorry.

Tries to start picking up the children. As many as Louis can.

What can I roll to attempt to ratatouille New stump. Easy stump to go do that.

Well, what is. What does everyone have in mind? Does everyone want to go to try to save some of these children, or do you want to stay hidden, like, in a safe spot?

Louie couldn't do anything different. He has to jump down.

Yeah.

And try to save some kids.

And he's got.

He's got a lot of strength now.

Why does there have to be.

I'm stacking the children. Yeah.

Okay.

Head over, you know, feed it.

So what we're gonna do is we're gonna roll some checks.

Okay.

Okay. Okay.

I will let everyone choose either athletics or acrobatics.

Athletics, please.

You can choose whichever one you want.

Okay.

Okay.

Athletics.

So each person is going to roll. There's six children. We will say acrobatics, actually. Okay, perfect. There are six children. Okay. Each person is going to roll to try to save two.

To make six, you have to roll a 10 or higher.

Yeah.

To successfully grab the child.

Okay.

Oh, my gosh.

Now, is it just extremely easy? Can I hold. Can I hold more than one child?

Well, two is gonna be the max. Okay.

Yeah.

You're gonna do one, children.

Okay. All right, we'll roll away.

That is a 12.

Sweet.

Dang.

You can add your bonus.

Yeah, Yeah, I got plus seven.

Yeah, it's a 20. Something. That'll work. 18 Plus six.

24.

Okay, so you all successfully grab one.

And this is.

Keep going.

Okay.

16. I've got two.

You got two.

That is.

That's a nine, right?

Yeah.

16.

Perfect.

I'm real in my head about this because I put the pieces together, but I'm just like. I. So I feel a whole bunch of different ways about it. So I'm trying my best because you're really.

Your options are save children or. Or let children die.

Yep.

But I let it happen before, apparently.

Oh, that's right.

So I'm just, like, wracked with guilt and. And I'm, like, watching it.

It's all happening again.

Again. My worst.

But is it stifling? So did you. Is it stifling? Do you stop or do you.

It's. It's really. It's really difficult for me.

So you have one child.

Yeah.

So what'd you roll for the second?

Okay. So it would be a 16.

16. Okay.

Yeah.

So you.

Each of you were successfully grabbed two kids, you run, like, out of the way, and right at the last minute, you just hear this crashing coming through the front gate as just stampede. Like, you do hear some screams, unfortunately. But luckily, the.

At least the six children you saw that didn't have parents around, you were able to grab them and get out of the way. As some of the. The buildings begin to crumble and some of the gates begin to fall.

Delightful little.

And the. These. These. These bulls and cows are just, like, crushing their way through everything. Some of them fall and trample and fall over.

Eventually, you're kind of like, holding the children and, like, taking cover, and there's dust everywhere. And eventually it all settles as the sound goes away and you notice they have, like, destroyed and moved on.

Oh, my gosh.

Unfortunately, there are a few bodies laying around. A few meaning more than I'd like to say. And then you also notice, like, you know, you let go of the children.

They, like, run.

They find their families. Luckily, all six of them, they find their families. There are casualties. Unfortunately, the lot's been destroyed.

In the middle of all of this and all the damage, you see what appears to be a horn that was knocked off one of the bulls just laying in the dirt.

I need. I. Well, I need to go.

I need to go get this. I need to redeem myself. I just.

Louis says, you can do it. It's there. Just grab it and let's run back to the portal.

Okay, so I. I'm still, like, wrestling with a lot here, and I'm like,.

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

And then I go and get the horn and I pick it up.

And then you pick it up. It is a hefty horn, guys.

I have a hefty horn.

All right, great. Quickly.

Here, let's go.

30.

Oh, my gosh.

All right, so we start running, jump.

On Stump, and I, like, kick my heels into his sides like a horse as well.

Yeah, you're, like, booking it up there.

Yes.

And as you get to the archway, as you're about to go in, you see in the distance, the person that initially started this stampede, still running away. As you, like, you kind of last minute, you get just one last glance. Oh, my gosh. Easy. As you make your way through the.

Portal, I have to make myself a better life as I say that.

And as you make your way through, just. You're back in the grove. Purple haze over everything. You have the horn play Jimi Hendrix here.

Louie Easy's face is back to normal.

Yes.

Yes.

Ah.

All right, quick, let's go through the last one.

29 Minutes.

It's been a minute. We gotta go.

Louie starts running and just. Just runs into the portal on the other side.

Why?

Are you gonna go put the horn on the tray first?

No, just kidding.

Yes.

I mean, you can if you want. Wait, no, hold on. Technically, you did say you jump through first. I'm not gonna give you you.

Yes, well, I'm running because I have the horn.

Yeah, yeah, you have the horn. But he said he was gonna go run through the portal.

Here I go.

Are you gonna place the horn before he runs through the portal?

Absolutely.

Throw it so you're running toward the place.

Throw it. I throw the horn like.

Okay.

Like a football.

So since you all kind of set this up, we are going to do a roll to see who gets there first.

I'm sorry.

Roll.

Roll the first. Roll a D20. Okay, Nick, roll a D20. Highest number is all we're going. Gets there first.

15.

Do I have advantage?

Nope, just highest number gets there first.

All right.

Rolled an eight.

All right.

So you're so excited to, like, get through this, like, before she can even get. Because technically, by placing the horn, it starts the next trial.

Oh.

So the next trial hasn't started yet. So you make your way. So the faces haven't changed. Changed.

So Easy's fate or Eloise face is still warped because the horn has not been placed above Easy's head, which is normal, which would then change Eloise face to normal. So please give me a dexterity saving throw as you hit. Don't face first. I know what to do. Okay, 18. 18. Perfect. You will just take half damage.

Kind of wild how rolling better hurt you.

Yeah.

In this situation.

So four damage will take two damage. You're gonna take half damage to that. And then you hear.

15 Minutes.

Yeah.

Put the horn on the plate.

I'm trying.

See, obviously, if you've learned now wrong moves cause the time to go down. You lose time. So, yeah, you place the horn above Easy on the tray, and as you do that same thing, the body begins to turn this purple glow.

The cocoon is starting to fall off. And now stumps is starting to speed up a little bit more. Even Easy's is starting to speed up a little bit more on the cocoon removal.

Now you also, when you look at Eloise face in the cocoon, it's like, back to normal. No twistiness, no wrong noses, nothing like that. And what do you do now, Louie.

Turns back to the. After the horn is placed, turns back to the portal and says, I really.

Want my body back.

And runs back this portal.

Biggest fart you've had so far.

This time as you run through the portal, you make it through.

You guys, how many times have I run a portal?

Three times.

I've taken, like, 15 damage now.

Yes.

So as have inside, Easy's body runs through the Eloi door. So, as you have now learned, the true player has to go through the fears in the correct order. Which is the face tells you which order to go in. Yes.

Okay, so you make it through. Sucks, everybody in.