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37 - STEPHANIE TRAGER - Break The “Not Enough” Paradigm
28th November 2022 • Her Empowered Divorce • Beverly Price
00:00:00 00:24:22

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It’s possible that you may not have heard of the phrase ‘Intentional Paradigm,’ just like I hadn’t either. But, once I was done with my conversation with Stephanie Trager, I was amazed at how important this perspective can be, especially when it comes to women’s recovery and empowerment.

Stephanie is a medicine woman guide, business architect and purpose catalyst. Stephanie's been dubbed a wellness rebel, purpose whisperer and legal midwife. Coupling sharp business acumen with potent intuitive gifts, she was naturally an intuitive guide, often called an oracle and an herbalist for years before becoming a certified professional coach.

Stephanie has been coaching for 20 years and is passionate about enabling physical vitality, mental freedom, emotional peace, and spiritual expansion, and she has a massive love for trees.

HERE ARE 3 TIPS TO HELP YOU ON YOUR ROAD TO SELF-EMPOWERMENT

  1. Changing their vocabulary - mind sovereignty
  2. Examine how much of who they think they are is identity vs. who they really are
  3. Visualizing daily

CONNECT WITH STEPHANIE TRAGER

CURIOUS TO FIND OUT WAYS ON HOW YOU CAN TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE AND START YOUR OWN JOURNEY TO RECOVERY?

Curious to know how well you know where you are in your empowerment journey? Make sure you visit https://herselfexpression.com/#quiz to take the free quiz to see where your opportunities to thrive in life are.

HAVE YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW EXPERIENCING A DIVORCE HANGOVER?

Take the free quiz here to find out what’s keeping you from recovering from a divorce hangover: https://herselfexpression.com/divorce-recovery-program-1

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Transcripts

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If you'd like to move from self-loathing to self-love, as Beverly did, stay tuned for today's episode that is Sure to help you take on the world. And now here's Beverly. Enjoy the show.

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Most women struggle with their self-image and self-confidence. Her self-expression provides knowledge. And insight to help women on their journey to self-empowerment on the inside and out, so they can confidently take on the world. Today, I have these questions to ponder. Do you know what intentional paradigms are?

Do you know what to do with them? Do you know how they could affect your life? Well, today my guest is Stephanie Tra. She's going to speak with us today about intentional paradigms. Stephanie is a medicine woman guide, business architect and purpose catalyst holding space in a sacred container for intellectual, analytical, soul seekers ready to come home to who they really are to do the work they're really here to do.

From human rights and environmental justice to corporate litigation to human. Herbalism Peak Wellness and Soul Mastery. She integrates a rare and eclectic mix of education and off the beaten path. Experience. Founder of Intentional Paradigms and principal Attorney at Trager Law where she helps thought leaders scale and protect their genius.

tified professional coach. In:

Stephanie has been coaching for 20 years and is passionate about enabling physical vitality, mental freedom, emotional peace, and spiritual expansion, and she has a massive love for trees. If you want to feel empowered, if you want to be ready to take on the world world, and you're excited about your potential, listen to our convers.

Hi, Stephanie. Thank you so much for being my guest today. It's so good to have you here.

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And that's how I come home to myself. And so for me it's just been this m decades of a journey literally since I was like seven of knowing like this curiosity of self. And knowing that I'm always seeking, who am I? Like what does it feel to be myself as we live in this world full of expectations and programs and conditioning and, you know, the education and the pedigree, you know, this and that.

And, and it, what, what's real, what is real is when we really can connect to ourself. So that's me. I mean, I, I really spend most of my time in discovery around coming, what does it mean to be myself? Did

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So I, if you listen, you know, I've had a very non-linear path and to the, to the, the subject of this beautiful podcast that you share with your, your listeners around self-empowerment, around how do you really listen to yourself and chart your own. Not one you're supposed to because everyone has a different path.

So I have felt less than when I have tried to fit into the mold. You know, like I, I didn't want to become a lawyer. Like I had all these other things I wanted to do, and there was a point where I was an activist and environmental activist, and it was like, well, I will be acceptable to continue on this path if I do it through law, you know?

And so I made a lot of choices in my life that were kind of driven by the not enoughness or the, you know, not about who I am, but about what we're supposed to be. Yeah.

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If we really even think about dissecting our day and how much, what percent of your day is unintentional, what percent is intentional? You know, it's, it's it's a practice. And so everything about the work I do is around creating a deeper, deeper sense of intention and a paradigm after a lot of, when I, when I make calls, some people are like, what's international paradigm?

Well, that's, that's how people read it. You know, it's like, okay, that's how, that's how foreign these really important words are, and they are. I, I really, a lot of the work also that I do and just the way I show up everything is how we speak. Being impec impeccable with our word. And so intentionally using words and paradigm.

A paradigm is a, a set of rules, beliefs, or assumptions by which a society or group of people live very different paradigm for. Than, say, an indigenous group in the Amazon, right? For how we live and how we see the world, how we perceive the world. And a paradigm is made up of mindsets and beliefs, right?

And so how do we really shift this world that we're living in? How do we really shift our life if we're just saying, I need to make a change in my life? How do you do that? What is the paradigm I'm subscribing to? Does that resonate? What's informing it? My beliefs, my mindsets and a mind mindsets are a bunch of belief.

That paradigm is a bunch of mindsets. Okay.

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The question, I don't necessarily use those words, but we're working within the framework of how much of what you're doing is authentic to you. How much of what you're doing resonates with you If you're not feeling enough, if you're judging yourself, if you're comparing yourself, all of those self negative talk things, you know?

Right. So what are, what are your beliefs? What are the mindsets that form your reality? And what is the paradigm you're subscribing to? Is that really aligned for you? And what if it isn't? Then? . Gotcha,

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And, and here's a statistic that I saw. Of working women, four out of five women find themselves feeling less than other women, and that to me is such a shame. And what's the other one? 50% of women feel more self doubt than self love. And so to me, a lot of that has to do with the paradigms we set ourselves up for.

Then in some cases are almost a setup

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The, the, our society, our economy is built on scarcity. Scarcity is what fuels this enough thing, right? And I'm not, if I just went for a run that was three and a half miles, but I like to do five, I didn't run enough. The enough thing is everywhere. And. And the

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Because most of our stories around enough just aren't true.

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Yeah, I can, I can really see that.

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There's, it's like, yeah, there's stuff underneath that, but the I'm not enough is under so much that's on top of it. If that is a dominant negative thought for, you know, for somebody listening then the question is always like, compared to what? You know what, yeah. What, like, why, why isn't just being enough?

Or why is that being enough?

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they were like knocking down:

So there was a movement to protect these forests and we would literally build platforms in the trees and sleep in the, in 300 feet up in the, in the tree climb, you know, the climbing. And to protect the trees. And it worked a lot of times. Didn't always, but of course, like in my family, they thought I joined a cult, you know?

And so I really, and, and then I had to, I always was comparing myself because there was the inner voice. You, we all know that inner voice, that yes, even when you're on purpose and you're on your path and you're so passionate, if there's some conditioning from where you're from that, that they, they can't even understand.

Which now in retrospect, because I've lived my life very unconventionally, very outside mainstream, and I am unapologetic about it. There was, so it took a long time to be able to like really love myself and, and like know that this is perfect as is, you know? Yeah. Always thriving for. So for me, the, the, the, you know, going to law school, of course, it's like in New York, comparing yourself, I'm a nature girl and then living in New York and just kind of always looking at the other side of the fence, like, oh, I would love to have land out on the, in the country.

Oh. But, but I, I live in the city and I have to dress a certain way and look a certain way. And, you know, there's. My, you know, for many years I was single where everyone was married, and there there's always that comparison and there's always that little voice until I, I have to say if, if someone's listening, it is possible to transcend.

It takes a lot of inner work. It takes the inner work to come really to come into yourself and love yourself as it is.

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And so, you know, I wouldn't say meditation. I, I've been on a shaman journey for 25 years because as an activist in, in, you know, beautiful places, there's always the indigenous people who you're in solidarity with and working with and invited into the practices and, and being so connected to nature. Earth based traditions were my, were were, what was true for me, you know?

And so this, again, this not enough pieces like always being called to something that I knew my soul was like aligned with, but I didn't fit in with where I came from and so I never was enough for them. Right, right. How do you reconcile your truth with not feeling enough with, with the, with belonging that, needing that sense of belonging, cuz that's a human nature.

So to just, to answer your question. The inner work. There's so many, there's so many ways. I, I, what I do now with, with my work in the world is I take people on medicine wheel journeys, which really integrates a lot of the spiritual earth-based traditions, plus the mindset and beliefs work around really deconstructing and dismantling the old stories we tell ourselves.

And it's a daily practice. There's no like, I'm gonna go on a retreat and do it and be done, you know, it's.

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You know, I'm 65, so it's been a very long journey for me and I, I know that women in their twenties and thirties really lack a lot of confidence, so I would love for us to be able to reach out. And help them so that they don't have to wait till they're in their fifties or sixties to get

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What the resource is, right? Like, listening to you, it's such a resource. So it's, it's an honor that you get to. .

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Is, yeah. Is this technology thing. And one of the things I would say is I recently saw a video about like the metaverse, you know, If you're familiar with that there, there's, there's a lot of marketing and, and messaging in the world that is so brilliant at telling you, telling us where we're going, how it is.

Right. And if you could just, you know, be the, the key word I would share with anyone around intentional paradigm is discernment. Mm-hmm. discernment is a superpower. You know, there's judgment. And then there's discernment. And if you can hold those two and really understand what's judgment, where's it coming from, and what is discernment like really?

Do you wanna share

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You're, you're projecting onto the thing, the other, the situation based on something usually emotionally driven within you, and it's kinda creating some kind of charge, right? Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's, it's not productive. Discernment is always productive. Discernment is where you are kind of taking the emotion out of it, weighing, holding.

You might use judgment in your discerning capability, but it's where you're really able to look at a scenario and have no charge and feel and feel like a yes or no and right. And so when information is coming at us like, this is how it is, this is how you should look, this is how you have to do your marketing.

This is how you, you know, being discerning about gotcha. Not doing cause you should and, and that I think, For young women, for, for all women, where we really can come into our center and our power because it takes center to be discerning. Yes. And when you're in your center, you're not being and not enough, the enough thing doesn't, doesn't hang out there.

Right. Oh wow.

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I'd say number one is practice. Practice. Just even feeling into the difference between discernment and judgment. Okay. And practice those because they're muscles. Right. So a step could be is, is around really building muscles, discernment and judgment. Another one would. To really be mindful of the words you use to explain a situation to express yourself.

When we, when we are really mindful with our words externally, what we're doing is we're, we're reprogramming our internal voice as well, and so much of the not enough program, so much of the everything that is harmful to ourselves that we impose on our. It's coming from the inner negative talk. So when we start practicing using different words externally to convey a message, consciously thinking of our words, then we're actually changing our internal voice as well.

So practice. Yeah. So practicing our vocabulary. I have a, a methodology for that called the, the vocabulary of increase because what we say, what we think we are increas. So choosing the words that we want to increase, the energy we wanna increase is, is key. And the third, well, those are two huge ones.

Yes. I'd say the third one is just to go back and do those two again. .

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Self-expression is, well, it means love to me. It means love it. There's so many layers. You know, that's a hard question to answer with one piece, because for me, every day, every day in my journey, I learn something new about myself around self-expression. Mm-hmm. . Oh, wow. So it means that it's, for me, it's an evolutionary process.

Mm-hmm. of self-love, of taking, of taking personal responsibility. Right. Like, it's very easy to sit to blame other, ah, I didn't do this because that No, it's, it's all about taking personal responsibility for where am I holding back? Yeah. Why? No one's fault. Where is this thing and live in me? How do I dismantle it so that I can speak my truth, so that I can choose my life and do me?

Hmm. Beautiful.

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I absolutely love connecting you with exceptional women who provide actionable steps that help you move toward empowerment. You can find our podcast on Apple, Spotify, and more. The more we can share and reach out to other women, the more we can help. So please listen and share the podcast. Always remember, your path to self-empowerment is unique to you.

Every challenge or hurdle will teach you something about yourself and make you stronger, moving you towards self-empowerment. The more you express yourself, the better you feel. Self-expression doesn't have to be a mystery. It's your key to confidence and self-empowerment, both on the inside and out. But most importantly, remember that you don't have to do it alone.

I'm here to. Thank you and take. Thank

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Invite your friends. When you download and subscribe to our podcast on Apple, Spotify, or other podcast services, be sure to leave us a review and tell your friends to download it too so we can continue to help others. You can also subscribe to our YouTube channel, and remember, self-expression doesn't have to be a mystery.

It's your key to confidence and self-empowerment both inside and out. But most importantly, remember that you don't have to do it. Visit www.herselfexpression.com and join us today.

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