Do you want more connection as a couple but feel that you’re too busy to create connection in your relationship?

Discover ten simple ways to create connection as a couple, even if you’re busy!

And find out one key thing that makes a huge difference in your relationship that you’re likely not doing (listen all the way through to find out what this is).

Take the “What’s Your Play Personality?” quiz.

And come join The Couples Playhouse community for date night ideas and real date night reviews.

Do you want connection in your relationship, but think you're too busy to do that? Well, I'm gonna share 10 simple ways in today's episode that you can do, even if you're busy. Before we get into that, I wanna invite you to take the What's your Play Personality quiz to discover your play type for your relationship so you can create a deeper connection and add fun back into your date nights.

2

Leanne: You can sign up for that at playdatesforcouples.com/quiz. Now let's get into those 10 simple ways to create connection in your relationship.

3

Leanne: If you want connection in your relationship, but think you're too busy to connect with your partner, think again. I'm gonna give you 10 ways to connect as a couple that are simple to do, even if you're busy, so you can go from feeling like disconnected roommates to connected romantic partners again. I've used these ways myself to create an awesome relationship with my partner.

4

Leanne: Be sure to listen all the way to the end to hear one key thing that makes a huge difference in your relationship that you're likely not doing. So you probably have some sort of transition moment in the morning, right? For example, you and your partner leave for work, or one partner does.

5

Leanne: Or one or both of you start work at home at a certain time. Or at least you both wake up in the morning. What if you could create a connection and a feeling of closeness at the start of every day without adding any more time by using one of those already existing moments? Got ideas about what this first tip to connect as a couple might be?

6

Leanne: It's to create what I call a couple connection moment and it's based on something that the Gottman's created. It's super simple to do even if you're busy because it only takes six seconds during one of those already existing moments in your day. The six seconds are for a six second hug or kiss. So you can do this whenever the first person leaves for the day right there at the door. Or if no one leaves, do it right before the first person starts work for the day at home or just when you first wake up. I recommend being present in the moment and really focusing on your partner and the kiss or hug, or both.

7

Leanne: Since I work from home, my partner and I have created this habit whenever he leaves for work, and it feels so good to start our days off like this. We actually don't ever wanna miss this tiny bit of time together.

8

Leanne: The second way to connect as a couple is another version of my couple connection moments. It's also really easy to do because it only takes 60 seconds at bedtime, which isn't adding anything to your schedule. You're already going to bed anyway. These 60 seconds could technically be whatever you choose to do.

9

Leanne: My partner and I typically kiss and then cuddle for that time and then keep cuddling for longer. Another thing you could do is each share something specific that you appreciate about your partner, like something they did that day, or a trait that they have that you really like. Just like in the morning, this helps you end every day with a great feeling that helps you connect as a couple.

10

Leanne: Now, I don't know about you, but many couples default to the same-old, same-old. Or because of busyness, they do nothing but hope that the disconnection magically changes. Having a great relationship where you feel like partners and not roommates takes intentional focus on creating a deeper connection. And I'm all about ways that don't add a ton of time to your already busy schedule. So the third way to connect as a couple is to leave a small love note for each other in unexpected places and at unexpected times.

11

Leanne: This doesn't have to be every day or even every week. In fact, it's best if it's fairly frequent, but random so that it creates an element of surprise. These little surprise notes can be a pop of something new and exciting in your relationship and they're a way to show thoughtfulness and intentionally create connection without taking much time.

12

Leanne: You might put a quick note into your partner's lunch bag or pocket that says I love you, or make it a spicy note.

13

Leanne: You could put a post-it note on the bathroom mirror with just a heart or a simple message of appreciation to your partner. My partner and I did this a little differently when we wrote out things that we love about each other, put them into a jar for each other, and then picked out one every day for a month.

14

Leanne: Since we're talking about not adding more time to your busy schedule, what do you always include in your day that you could build connection into? For example, the fourth way to reconnect as a couple that I recommend if it works for you in your own life circumstances is to create a morning coffee ritual.

15

Leanne: This is as simple as it sounds. Spend 10 minutes each morning having coffee or whatever you drink together and actually connect by sharing your plans for the day or expressing any thoughts or feelings about your day or about each other. The next way to reconnect as a couple is based on the same idea.

16

Leanne: You likely work out every day, or at least a few times a week, right? So build in some time as a couple by working out together. This could be your regular workout time at the gym, a workout at home, or even going for a run or a walk together outside. Not only does this create connection with your partner, but it also makes working out more fun and helps you get physical activity and reduce stress.

17

Leanne: The sixth simple way to reconnect with your partner is to unplug from tech devices and screens and actually spend time being together or doing something together like talking, reading or playing a game. You could even cook dinner together. You gotta do that anyway, so why not use it to connect?

18

Leanne: Too often, time together involves sitting in front of your devices, vegging out after a busy and stressful day. But by eliminating the tech, it creates an environment that's better for a connection and also communication. The seventh way to reconnect is a couple can happen anytime you talk to your partner. So there's no extra time involved at all.

19

Leanne: Practice mindful listening when your partner talks. Focus on them without thinking about your response. If you pay attention, you'll probably notice that most of the time that your partner talks, you're thinking about what you'll say next or what you think about what they're saying. Acknowledge their feelings and validate their experiences.

20

Leanne: This helps improve communication as well as connection with your partner. The eighth simple way to create connection in your relationship is to take time to reminisce about the happy memories that you've shared. Look through old photos or talk about past vacations or experiences where you made those memories.

21

Leanne: You could do this on a walk and make it into an actual date night, which brings me to the ninth way. In a study by the National Marriage Project, they found that over half, actually 52%, of couples said they never have date nights or only do a few times a year. It's known that couples who devote time specifically to dating one another at least once or twice a month are markedly more likely to report happier and more stable relationships compared to couples who do not go on dates as often.

22

Leanne: So the ninth way to reconnect as a couple is to have regular date nights, which is the one key thing I mentioned at the beginning that you're likely not doing. Schedule dates once a week or once every two weeks. I can see you over there rolling your eyes. So I want you to know that these can be simple.

23

Leanne: In fact, one of the things that my partner and I love to do is play a game together at home. The 10th simple way to reconnect as a couple takes more time, but it can actually make all the other things even better. So I'm sure you've heard the recommendation to have weekly meetings as a couple. If you're a busy couple though, that can feel like way too much.

24

Leanne: I recommend a monthly meeting for about an hour each time. So set aside 60 minutes once a month for an uninterrupted meeting, or you could even do a 15 minute check-in as a way to intentionally make your relationship a priority and create connection as well as get on the same page together as partners.

25

Leanne: One of your conversations can be about brainstorming a bunch of date night ideas. See how these things can work together? So a few tips for the meeting: Be present with each other, listen and connect as you also check in about emotions, needs, wants, your relationship, sex goals, finances, challenges or life in general.

26

Leanne: And use great listening skills like I statements, no interrupting, reflecting back and taking breaks if needed. Now, if you loved these 10 simple ways to reconnect as a couple and if you haven't yet, go back and listen to the other episodes, especially the number one secret to date nights. Thanks for listening and I'll see you in the next one.