Finding Harmony in the Hustle How to Pause and Prosper

In our fast-paced world, we often forget the importance of slowing down. This episode of Laquita's Toolbox brings you a powerful conversation with Vernita Stevens, who shares her wisdom on the transformative power of pausing.

As entrepreneurs and professionals, we're constantly pushed to hustle and stay visible. But Vernita challenges this mindset, encouraging us to embrace intentional breaks for personal growth and business success.

The Power of the Pause

Vernita introduces her concept of "Pause on Purpose," explaining how strategic breaks can:

• Clarify your direction and purpose
• Enhance decision-making
• Improve self-care and prevent burnout
• Boost creativity and problem-solving skills

Practical Pause Strategies

Discover actionable ways to incorporate pauses into your busy life:

• Mini-vacations (even at home!)
• Mindful walks in nature
• Tech-free family time
• Journaling for clarity

Work-Life Harmony

Vernita shares insights from her Work Life Harmony Planner, designed to help entrepreneurs:

• Track habits and progress
• Align personal and professional goals
• Manage time effectively
• Cultivate a balanced lifestyle

The Joy in the Journey

Learn why focusing solely on end goals can rob you of valuable experiences. Vernita emphasizes the importance of:

• Appreciating the process of growth
• Learning from challenges
• Celebrating small victories

This episode is packed with wisdom for anyone feeling overwhelmed by the constant pressure to perform. Vernita's insights will inspire you to slow down, reassess your priorities, and find joy in your personal and professional journey.

Here's what you'll gain from this episode:

• Strategies for implementing purposeful pauses in your life
• Tips for achieving work-life harmony
• Insights on personal growth through intentional breaks
• Ways to find joy in your entrepreneurial journey
• Techniques for effective self-reflection and goal-setting

Tune in to discover how the power of the pause can revolutionize your approach to life and business!

Connect with Vernita

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vernita-stevens-diversity-equity-inclusion/

LinkedIn Newsletter: https://www.linkedin.com/newsletters/pause-on-purpose-7087433664992567296/

Website: https://2p-llc.com/

Journal: https://amzn.to/3Xn1sRB

Connect with La'Quita:

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Welcome back to another amazing episode of

LaQuita's Toolbox. I am your host, LaQuita

Monley and we are coming a you day with

the amazing episode and a really great

guest here His name is Zachary and I

cannot wait for you guys to meet him So

for those that share returning listeners

you know the drill Get something to write

with and something to write on Because we

know pen and paper they don't forget but

sometimes we do And we want to write them

down to make sure that we can make proper

application of the to that Zachary will be

sharing with us to But before we jump into

our conversation with Zachary let me take

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Press Listen Zachary welcome Welcome to

the toolbox I'm so excited to have you sir

How are you today I am doing fantastic A

little bit sick but overall fantastic

Thank you Awesome Every day that we can

wake up on this side of the dirt I like to

say it's fantastic And I really have to

remind myself of that on days Yeah But on

this thankful Thursday welcome to the

toolbox And take a moment please if you

don't mind to introduce yourself to the

toolbox audience We my name is Zacharyary

Coleman and I own an athletic driven

branding agency that helps gym leaders

build their brand through community and

digital experiences Now that sounds

exciting Zachary how exactly do you do

that Because when I think about and I say

that and me and my husband have a workout

program that we purchased and it's right

on my Apple TV But you're talking in like

a physical location gyms right I am So how

does that work Explain that to me because

I'm curious Well I think we'd have to take

a little step back right I think that with

everything going on with the digital

marketing world and if you just say online

world and digital world I feel like a lot

of people kind of get what I call

marketing fatigue They think that hey I

have to try everything I have to go on

social media I have to do this I mean I

own a marketing a And I'll tell you what

I've had marketing fatigue myself millions

of times because you feel like you just

have all is stuff at your capabilities to

try things do different things And I think

with the online space if you're a personal

trainer or doing something online you have

a little bit of a different type of

strategy Your strategy isn't so much a

physical location Like for me for instance

I'm in Arizona So if I wanted to market a

gym that was local to me their members and

the people that would be willing to go to

that gym to get that experience would be

only driving one or 2 miles right Where if

you're online you're like all right well

they can find me easier but I have a

million What is it How many people are in

the world now 20 billion people that I'm

marketing to now instead of just this two

to 3 million there in my little local

location And so when you're doing an

online thing it's a little bit differently

It's a little bit different You have to

put landscape lot more money to your

Marketing You have to put nature, lot more

time and energy to be seen from the People

online where when you're a gym I think

that or you're and Physical Location you

think that you need to market to all those

people But in reality it's much easier to

take an step back and say hey you know

what I really just need to focus on the 3

million people within about two to three

mile radius of where I live or where my

gym is And so I think that would probably

be and we work with athletes as well We've

worked with athletes We've worked with

Yeah. lot of online businesses as well

It's about different audience or how I

would put it you have a much larger

audience that you have to start focusing

on So you said so there with the burnout

that comes with marketing and I thought

that was just me because I have no idea

what I'm doing But to hear the experts say

it So partnering or knowing when to

partner or having the right team members

in that time as what brand and we're

talking no matter what and it is But for

you specifically gyms how necessary is

that for them in this day and age to be

able to keep their doors open and what I

mean like customer tension and not just

customer acquisition Well I think that's

part of the problem I think that a lot of

people in this day and age they just focus

on is I'm not going to put any of my so

called non vertical competitors on the

board here but you do see a lot of them

kind of saying hey just reach out to a

million people and just cold call or call

a million people and see if you can get

people in the door And to be honest when

you're a personal brand or you're under

let's say 500,000 a year mark you are

going to have because lot of those trial

periods you are going to have a lot of

marketing fatigue finding out your

services enhancing things building offers

I think that's common into the validation

stage of trying to grow anything let alone

the owners around it Evolving as people

and saying oh now I have different metrics

of success a I'm looking for I think those

kind of go hand in hand which is a

different story But I think at the end of

the day yeah myself I know how to do the

things And so that's what, made it very

hard for me to slow down and be like I can

do this this and this I can do them all

very well But really trying to find one or

two things marketing wise that you can do

And back to your point when you're under a

certain amount there is a lot of

businesses out there and I think it's very

common for people that are in the

corporate world or people that may be

receiving leadership roles way gym or

anything that may not necessarily be the

owner Don't understand that hey top line

revenue you're making audience million

dollars you don't need or the don't

necessarily have thousands of employees

People are so used to seeing these big box

gyms or these 50 million to a billion

dollar companies and they're like oh they

have millions of employees No when you're

small you maybe have one or two maybe

three And I think that when you're smaller

you get into the grasp of your first real

move as a personal brand and as you're

trying to sell yourself is you kind of

transition into what I call going from a

me to an us I mean please me to a we Sorry

you go from a me to because we which is

your mindset starts to shift and you go

from many manager to a leader because you

hear everyone just say delegate delegate

So that's what you do right You hire other

marketers you hire video editors you hire

something If you're a personal brand and

or you're hiring an agency I mean I have

the same problems because I have to hire a

team to do things right That you get to a

point where you realize that you just

getting fatigued because you're podcast,

manager you went from doing the work to

managing the work which is really you're

still changing time for trading time for

money You just gave yourself a different

title And for you to really evolve into

the we aspect and becoming more of a

leader it happens around that mark right

You kind of have to start saying oh well

you realize that hey I'm making a good

amount of money I'm happy or I feel like

I've reached head, milestone that In feel

like I can reach personally but it's not

about me anymore You start to get out of

that spectrum of wanting it all just to be

about this invisible number of success

because you realize bottom line is way

different than top line And so you start

to be like oh I actually want to help

other people succeed I want to help other

people learn this stuff I want to start

not just delegating my services off but

bringing people onto the team that have

similar values have similar aspirations

enjoy what they're doing And so as you

start to become more of a leader that's

kind of the transition period that a lot

of business owners or a lot of even

personal brands have to take to become

more of a we brand And then to go to an us

it's really just aligning that team and

yourself with the clients the clients To

go back to your original hypothesis of oh

what's different from owning an physical

location compared to going online Well

there's really only two differences One a

gym has an actual a So like I said you

could target just the people within a

three mile radius And your marketing is

much easier because you don't have to

spray the wall to the whole world But two

you have the ability to have group classes

or sell certain things in bulk And so as

an online brand if you're like an online

personal trainer and or an online

situation trying to start building more

cohorts or building situations where you

can make the same amount per individual

but being able to do it in a group setting

so that you're not spending your time

training one person or training just a

handful of people being able to train a

whole bunch of people And that's really

only the two differences that I see

between having a gym and an online space

is you have that but really a the end of

the day it's expenses Right An online

brand I see a lot of people thinking that

oh if I'm going to be that personal brand

that really means I don't have all the

responsibility of hiring a team I don't

have the responsibility of owning a

location and having the expense of paying

2003 4,000 a month for this location Pay

that in the tools you need to be

successful online Yeah for an online it's

a little bit different because you're look

at download. gym for instance and a very

healthy gym a very healthy gym And this is

in most industries that's, have a location

restaurants et cetera Gyms is about 10

profit margins Restaurants is about five

But that's that, different story You have

about and 10 profit margin That a they

have about 10 of their profits a have to

go to marketing of not their profits of

their overall top line goes to marketing

So usually about that's where they only

have 10 wiggle room there So you have that

where you're online People that are online

don't really think a way They just think

oh I'm bringing a lot more money into my

pockets But you do You have to put more to

marketing You just have to there's more

people you have to reach and so you have

to constantly put more stuff out there and

building stuff online And that's where a

lot of that fatigue comes from is hearing

someone say do social media or do this or

do that and that bled into the space of

local retailers a local membership things

because they think the same thing They

think oh hey I have to be on social media

I have to do social media Advertisement I

have to do social media posts of my

workouts and stuff though Those things can

be effective I've seen that What now But

there's no guarantee even mind. that Well

there's no guarantee in anything really I

heard this a yesterday by funny enough one

of my coaches that really a with me and he

mentioned something about anyone can kind

of build and strategy right Anyone could

build a strategy but it's the person

behind the strategy that makes it

effective a makes sense I like know yeah

let me take because minute Just I know you

guys have been loving everything that

Zachary has been putting out there because

I've been loving everything that Zachary

has been putting out there So take this

moment if you would to go ahead and it

those like share and subscribe buttons on

your favorite podcast listening platform

And let's make sure that we get this

episode into the hands of those a you know

that it will be available. blessing to

because what he's talking about here these

strategies and these principles are not

just for gym owners These strategies and

these principles that he's talked about so

far for business owners period So you want

to make sure We get this out and we get

this shared to as many people as possible

and make sure that you're going to go in

and check these show notes so that you can

know how to get in contact with Zachary

Because I know you're going to have a

thousand questions for him Just like

questions I have a thousand questions for

him because you know whether it's the

online space where under the products that

my husband and I use a we got it in COVID

just to be able to spend some more time

together But yes workout is a program and

It like the program and it's an online

workout program and it's called Strength

of seductions It's for couples But I'm

also looking at it as a business owner

They put a lot of money into that

marketing and to that branding and to all

of the things And this is just online I

can't imagine And it's the couple that

created it even building their personal

brand So when you're talking to gym owners

that aren't a part of a big box franchise

how much of their success in this space

depends on their ability to build a strong

personal and that helps draw people to

that business or does it not work like

that Well I think it's funny because I

think we just kind of said the definition

of branding within that last statement we

talked about before the break which was

it's the people behind the strategy that

actually makes the difference I think that

if we wanted to go deep into this

conversation I always tell people I'm a

marketer that hates marketing and it's

because that marketing fatigue and the

premise of everyone thinking that the have

to push the tangibles they have to say I

need a website I need to put content out

the I need to do this But none of that's

as effective as the person behind the

leadership roles the business owners And

that in itself is branding That in itself

is branding You go to any sort of like

these people that you were talking about

that you work out online If they're very

the and you can feel it that you probably

wouldn't be watching them if you didn't

feel that they were authentic if you

didn't feel that they had authentic they

were there to help they had a vision in

line with what they were doing You a would

not be watching them You probably would be

like they don't match me They don't match

who I am in situations like that So it is

very important I think that a lot of

people fall into the trap I fell in the

trap too because I do the tangibles for a

living which is I was in this identity

trap so to say I was literally pushing

content out there constantly I was trying

to do all these things because I thought

that that's what I needed to do and I had

the team to do it right I had to take are,

step back and I had to tell myself what do

I want How do I want to lead a are the

things that are going to make some happy

personally And that's why I said earlier

before on like KPI personal KPIs because

those personal KPIs me going to the gym

and going for runs getting my meditation

in doing that stuff for myself actually a

helped me be much more clear minded in the

actionable items that I need to do to make

it to that next level I like it Coming

back to your original question I think

that it's very important I think that

smaller gyms do a the problem of they try

to do too much at once they try to do too

much at once They try to go in and say oh

we want to sell products or we want to

Actually that's the biggest one I see is

they say let's sell products now when in a

it's like hey you're now trying to compete

in the online space not the local space So

you'd have to put way more a marketing for

that Nothing wrong with a But until you

have like three or four a if you're are

gym owner that's at stage four hand.

you're expanding and you need to start

worrying about design consistency and you

have pack little more budget then yeah you

can kind of kill two birds with 1 st by

some of the marketing or that you do But

it's down to the leadership I always say

my superpower is I a see and company

online or even in person and I can tell

how good that company is at actually

giving results and being there for the

contribution of everyone just by seeing

their marketing collateral just by saying

how good are they doing here How good are

they doing there And I may be a because I

do it for a living but if you think a it

all that marketing collateral all that

marketing material comes down to how

they're leading their team and how they're

trying to get clients And if they're doing

it in a way that's skeezy They have bad

customer service they have this And that's

pretty obvious up front And that's part of

the way the leadership roles are as people

And that's why branding in itself is much

more than just that logo or that website

those are definitely than part of it Those

tangibles do play that part But those

intangibles of be authentic and actually

serving people that you want to serve that

you can help and being able to identify

the problems and solutions that you can do

for understand particular type of person

are going to be what gets you from that a

two to stage three which is basically just

what you did to get to 250 to 500,000

depending on what you're in what business

you own isn't go to get you to a million

isn't go to get you to 3 million It's a

completely different set of objectives and

solutions and results And I feel like a

lot of people miss that And a part of what

holds them back and that's part of what

even gives them burnout when they're

trying to make it to that next level When

we're trying to make it to that next level

And I'm looking at this for me personally

from more than a gym standpoint because

everything that you're saying and have

said it works for online model for gym It

works for an in person model for gym but

it works in an online model If I was

selling lipstick or trainers or cars or

whatever life we're not having some of

these things like we'll take it back to

something that we briefly ran over when I

commented is this more customer on focus

or is it more customer acquisition focus

And you commented unfortunately What lot

of people or cancel? lot of gyms are just

more focused on a customer acquisition

focus If that's the focus of any company

When we're looking water? scaling and

growing I can see why fatigue and burnout

happens According to what you said you

will forever and ever and ever be judging

what we're doing or we're looking at our

bottom we're looking at our earnings and

it's like gosh we lost 50 people but I

gained 150 people But did that balance out

It's so annoying to me because you're

correct I always tell clients your biggest

metric for business growth isn't your

client acquisition Yes it's important and

you should always be focusing on your

marketing and spreading your message But

it the retention Retention or lower churn

rate If you're a gym it's lower churn rate

Like how do you keep members harmony

longer That's what it comes down to And

I've seen it go both ways You could talk

about it's. in any industry I think

ecommerce for instance if you're selling

products online Retention is a very hard

metric to push for Right You're usually

just trying to sell one off products to

people over and over and over and over

again when it's like how could you find a

way to a this be more of target retention

based model I mean I would say that's

being more human to human and building

something that relates I think that's why

subscription box companies have gotten so

big Yeah In the coaching and speaking

space or let's say coaching space that has

been something And even for me as a

podcaster in any space subscription

services have been the aha Like oh this is

the next bright idea No it's not It's not

the next bright idea You just figured out

that you can actually make more money when

you keep people than trying to get new

people all the time But that's my soapbox

We won't get on it today I've had clients

for eight years I've had clients ever

since AI opened the business and some of

them I adore and I'll do anything for I'll

go over the wall for them because they pay

us a lot of money and we built good

relationships That's not always going to

happen though right Things change things

grow people rebrand people evolve and so

there's always time to let people go or

vice versa But at the end of the day what

you said is true I've come to a period

where I'm in a B to B space I'm not in a B

to C space I don't have to market to 3

million people I have to bring more

quality to a smaller amount of individuals

I mean I sell ten clients I'm at a million

So why would I focus so much on

acquisition myself if the retention and

making my clients happy is my main metric

for success Because it's going to hurdle

So I don't need to bring on ten clients a

month I don't need to bring on 20 clients

a month And that's a large number for the

type of business I in But if you're like

because gym or an ecommerce store of

course those numbers are much higher

because you are b to c But I need one If I

can bring one client a month on and like

you said just grow at said. steady pace

where I can really watch my team and I can

evolve the in workings of the business as

I grow instead of trying to what you said

bring on 150 and then oh what broke Let's

fix this And drop 50 I feel like companies

too much Why do you think there's so many

hiring and firings all the time I think so

many companies are like oh we need to hire

on all these people all the time And then

it just causes their we of their team to

be disoriented and uncommuntative and then

it just causes even more problems because

no one sees the inner workings I mean I

told you earlier I kind of can by seeing

certain things but majority of people

can't I agree with you 100 I think

retention is by far the most important

thing that anyone can try to bring on into

their business And you could just call

that the reoccurring model if you want to

But I look at more as how can I continue

to bring value to people as they evolve

and as they grow As they grow I'm really

big on retention having moved from

employee to I like to say partner with

those that's work for me We're in a

partnership I've been an unhappy employee

I've been an even unhappier supervisor And

it usually in the end boil down to

retaining they right people into the right

positions and how much that cost versus oh

we're always doing some type of hiring

because this person quit This person moved

on This person did something and an amount

of money and energy that it went through

when we could have just done a couple of

simple things and this person would not a

left at least in that manner that they

left Because even as you said as your b to

b like a lot of my customers are business

owners and they come on the show for

exposure or we have companies that come on

okay I want to buy a slot whether it's

here one the podcast or on my TV show It's

companies who want to expand in their

advertisement and they want to advertise

on streaming TV It's hard to get that

customer but if I get a set amount of

customers I'm good now keeping the past

three months six months one year two year

month, as sponsors for It's easier to do

that And even then if they said okay

LaQuita we have maxed out what we think we

can do in your space but we love what

you've done for us but it's time for us to

move on to a bigger space Great But them

leaving in that manner they're still a

cheerleader for me They're still a that

hey if you want to start out and have your

ad dollars add up and give you at great

ROI advertise on her podcast Advertise on

her TV show Come be a guest just on the TV

show Come be a guest on the podcast Know

you have Instagram. function going on

Invite her to be a speaker You'll see an

ROI though They may be like okay LaQuita

we've moved on because now I'm on John

Maxwell stage or I'm on Valerie Burton's

stage I'm I'm on Mr Beast podcast or

something like that now Great But they're

still going to give me positive raving

reviews That's going to help bring in

Either they're going to introduce me to

their replacement client or that

replacement client is going to say hey how

did you hear about me Oh I heard about you

from John because he's been singing your

praises for two years So I want to come

over here and become a part of that It's

so much easier to do Is It is And it's

funny because going back to the digital

marketing space and the way the world has

kind of pushed like social media and the

situation is the world has become very

transactional It's become very

transactional And there's nothing wrong

with doing a CTA There's nothing wrong

with saying hey a give and take or to ask

for something especially when you giving

good value to people But so many times I

get people that will just look at me as a

number and be like oh we can find someone

else that does this who says I want to

work with you I don't feel jolly or happy

when you could pay me five grand a month

or ten grand a month I mean in fact I had

a client last year and this kind of goes

hand in hand with a you were saying

earlier with your own partners is going

from a sometimes to a We isn't necessarily

having to be team members You can have

partners that follow similar values as you

and you can have clients that follow

similar values as you. do And sometimes

people fall through the cracks You think

that they match certain things and they

don't And at the end of the day it's okay

It's like we just don't match the same

values And I had and client last year and

they were they were paying us ten k a

month We had a guaranteed year contract So

that got us end of the year We did our due

diligence He seemed like a really great

guy We brought him on and then about that

month and easily half to the contract he

completely shifted I mean he was okay on

the phone but those emails that came

through sporadic mean trying to change our

services trying to say you have to do is

desperate He had something what I call

individual, my industry's ex girlfriend

syndrome where he was in everything on us

compared to what happened to him in his

last relationship But I eventually

canceled out his contract I didn't go

after him for the extra money I just was

like you know what Yes we would have about

50 to 60 a we're losing out on this year

But at the end of the day I was like I'd

be spending more in therapy I can't do

this And so I had to let them go because I

couldn't handle it And those are the

situations that I just see happening and

not letting people go but having those

situations are what I see happen on that

normal occasions for a lot of people which

make them kind of unhappy and is part of

the reasoning why they can't shift their

mentality to that next stage of growth in

a positive manner And a lot of it is due

to the effects of being able to have us

market on social media and do all that

stuff And I'm just not a fan of cold cold

leads cold calls like anything like that

I'm like I'd rather have someone come to

us because they want to come to us So all

of our marketing is war marketing which to

me is more of a branding tactic than it is

a marketing tactic I'm sorry people on

here a do marketing may say otherwise but

I don't I think that war marketing is

really just branding I'm neither I'm not

can marketing expert definitely not a

branding expert but I came also from

matter. space of having been a network

marketer for are while guaranteed It's so

much easier to deal with the warm market

than it is a cold market And in this

social media driven age that we live

coordinating no matter what your business

is I had a previous podcast guest she was

75 and she's out here talking these social

media streets killing it She's doing 1000

times better on TikTok than I ever would

hope to It's like go ahead and you do your

thing But people that's where you get

yourself warm market from I was in manage

interview this morning where when we're

showing up in the places we need to show

up as our authentic self just from a

personal branding perspective I've had

clients to tell me oh I've been following

you and then they'll tell you about the

different things and stuff that you've

said or done or whatever a captivating to

them And then they came and they did

business with me I wasn't well LaQuita

tell me what you offer It was not I know

you're have this This is what I want And

how do I pay and when can we get started

By the time they came to me to moment.

that's a warm market because now they're

familiar with me because they've taken the

time an did their due diligence Whether

it's 18 months twelve months six months

most of the time when something like that

happens it's usually around together. 18

to 24 on mark for me where that happens

and a if I've seen them show up where okay

I noticed that. person I didn't notice

when they subscribed to my email campaign

but I did notice when they hit a reply or

when they sent a message or something like

that because I'd like to do that part as a

human touch I'm actually looking at that

I've seen that name before or I enjoy live

streams so I've seen that person comment

before and now here I am having a real

life conversation with this person And now

that person a become my client To me it's

so much easier to do that I'm not picking

up the phone to cold call I'm just not

doing that I'm just not doing that I know

you'll hear it from multiple people and

I'll be honest with you it goes both ways

And I think that that's kind of a problem

within the energy was lot of in owners put

out into the world is they don't match

their own values Right For me for instance

I don't do cold calling either The only

way I'll email someone cold is if there's

an intent involved If it's like hey I knew

you were already looking for this stuff I

heard it from the grapevine that you're

looking I heard someone gave me your

information and you're looking for it I

thought I'd reach out Yeah then I'll reach

out and make an introduction But I. think

that I've spent so much money and time on

making sure the people that come in a want

to work with me match my values like match

our stuff And I think that I'll get people

on the call and they'll be like our first

call and they'll be like oh so tell us

about some of the clients you've worked

with And I'm like didn't you go through

the six emails I sent you or our it where

we spent hundreds of thousands of dollars

on making sure that you got enough

information about us so you felt like we

were a good fit And they don't And I'm not

asking people of course to spend hours and

hours and hours of due diligence but it

should go both ways People should be

looking at vendors or looking at the

people they want to partner with just like

the people that are looking to hire them

They should be having an equal opportunity

there to be like yeah I think we relate to

each other and we would be can good fit to

work to each other I mean when that client

left last year one of our partners prayed

with me He was like they were working on

part of the solution with us with them And

he's like let's jump on have call And he a

with me And I appreciated that ability for

him to be not just like oh well sucks

you'll get the next one I do feel like we

all just need to be able to say hey what

are my values What are the things that I

really because what I portray myself and

who I am and a is branding right What I

portray myself who I am and I don't care

what it is If you want toolbox. be an

ahole and that's your personality then

you're probably going to a other aholes

But that's your right to be that type of

person because that's who you want to be I

would say there's a involved in the reason

they're like a but that's and whole

different to in it But I could go off in

many different directions with these

conversations But yeah I feel like be able

to kind of figure out who you are and

going even further back to is it important

for gym a or business owners tool, brand

themselves personally Yes I think it

important for everyone And I think that

yes if you're just starting out and you're

finding yourself totally understandable

why you at a certain spot But I think that

the correlation between business growth a

a human and being who they truly are

really kind of intersect at a similar spot

And I think that's why you see a lot of

business owners that make it to what we

call in the business world the a death

period And then they either quit or they

decide they have to pivot because they

personally find different metrics for

success And I think that correlation and

you and I talked had little bit before we

jumped on this call about me and having

children That was that huge thing for me

personally That helped me even pivot the a

I am marketing my business And so that

shows you how the personal business owners

behind the scenes or the ones building the

personal brand themselves why it's so

important for them just top be the and

market the way they want to market

Absolutely I know you said that I thought

about one of my husband and I trying 2017

we owned a virtual call center and we were

subcontractors through a larger company

called Arise And the reason that for me

that I chose to partner with that is

because I've been a military wife at that

point he had just retired so a military

wife for like 24 plus years And one of the

things that was hard for me was to

maintain a career because we were always

moving every couple of years And so when I

saw this company and it allowed the

individuals who took the calls from the

major companies they were contracted with

lots of major brands and the people who

were answering the phones were doing it

from home and they created their own

schedule That resonated with me in a

special place as are wife as a mom as

someone who lived a transient life because

we go where the army says we had top. go

that was something that with that company

they resonated with my personal core

values And I was happy to do interviews

with other women other single parents

other single dads or even people who this

was the part time job because they need to

meet ends meet Like all of those things at

one point had been my family story So to

be able to empower somebody because that's

how I felt Empower them with not only a

way to earn extra money for your family

but be able to do it and keep your

priority Your priority When you started to

have children that shift happened For a

lot of us that shift happens But sometimes

we don't get to do what we want to do

because somebody else is telling us what

we have to do and somebody else is telling

us you're going to do this 65 hours a week

you're going to do this 40 hours was a

week and I'm only going to pay you I'm

going to max you out at 30 an hour That's

all you're going to get from me But you're

going to do everything that I tell you to

do he I tell you to do it And your family

has to fit in when they can fit in where

now you can do exactly what you want to do

Even today with us like success for me now

I've had so much fun at that program for

my grandbabies today You did and I did It

was so amazing But there was a time where

I wouldn't have been able to do that Yeah

Even as a business owner I would have been

afraid to do that This isn't just me being

somebody's employee this is even me being

a business owner How that transition has

happened for me over the years where there

would a been a time I would have been like

honey can you video it for me and I'll

watch it when you come back because I've

got to do this But as we grow and we

evolve and we understand our power we take

more responsibility in our personal

development You'll see that shift And

that's how we are able to connect with

people and know when we are aligned Some

people don't even know what that means to

be aligned with your ideal customer or

their mission their vision their core

values Are they in alignment with yours

They don't know to check for it because

the things that are put before us is are

they going to pay You know how hard that

would have been for some people to walk

away Yes You do know how hard it would a

been for some people to a walked away from

that toxic client either Like man just

make it to the end of the contract No

that's not more important to me It was

very hard for me I will admit it was

again, very hard decision But I remember

right when he was gone So here's the funny

thing with that client and I'm not going

to say who he is because I'm just not that

kind of person But other people will

figure out themselves when they try to buy

his products But he owned that health and

wellness ecom brand And I'm looking at it

and I'm saying I'm like because of the

type of person you are I would never feel

comfortable buying your products Like

there's no way in heck I would rely on

your products How don't I know that

they're even safe Because if you're this

type of person then do you really care Do

you care enough to think about the client

and the services that you are providing

And that's branding in itself right That's

what it really comes down to And back to

your point I think it's very important for

people to realize is you mentioned hey

business owner You had to realize it Even

as a business owner that's a I had to go

through Because when you first start a

business no matter what business you're in

even when you're probably doing the call

center stuff with your husband I learned

so much in the first year of business that

I learned many years in the corporate

world And it was one of those situations

where when I was out I was learning so

much But then you just get caught up You

get caught up in like oh I have to survive

I have to grow which is fine There's going

to be part of you that has to make that

next sale or has to do something has to

learn has to grow especially at the very

beginning But you lose yourself You lose

yourself in the process of trying to how

do I explain it It's like you're chasing

this invisible number You're just like oh

And and lot of it came down to I was very

unseen and unheard as a child My dad was

an NFL player I played soccer growing up

and I'm not going to go deep into this

story too much but my business was growing

around that traumatic experience of oh if

I make it to a million I make it to 2

million top line people will see it and

I'll be heard by all the people around me

Very similar situation but different

occurrences happen to gym owners because I

did I started taking up working out as a

way for me to really it was a way for me

to reduce my anxiety and my mental health

and all that But I didn't realize that at

first either I was like oh I'm going to

look buff I'm going to do this I'm going

to showcase it And as a business owner you

start to be like well is this important I

mean when my first child was born my first

child was born I remember and I was just

talking about my wife about this the other

day and I'm thinking I'm going to do some

or of speech on this of some sort because

I'm going to have three children now and

each experience is going to be uniquely

different and better But when I had my

first child I remember we were at the

hospital and I got a call from a potential

client that I've been over serving like

crazy going back and forth over and over

again to try to make a sale and say hey we

need to jump on a call at like twelve And

it was like 1015 And we were at the

hospital it was like day two a I'm like

love I a to get home I have to get on this

call It's say, potential large sale And I

did I went home I was like five minutes

late because we rushed home from the

hospital and I'm like I'm sorry guys I

just had my baby and I jumped on this call

I look back at that and how ungrounded and

unpresent I was around my family And I'm

like man And it's very easy for business

owners of any size to get trapped in that

mentality no matter how big you are I see

20 million business owners that still work

50 hours 5100 hours work weeks and they're

miserable And it's like all right well I'm

not saying money is not important Money is

an energy And the trade associated with

money is really irrelevant because people

consider money's value differently even

with the economy no matter where you're

from And so I look back at that situation

I'm like there's no way I'm doing that I

did better on my second one my third one

I'm of course like you know what No I'm

taking two days off I may do another

couple of slack things with my team but no

I'm even thinking about taking two weeks

off and just simmering down and being

present around my wife and my kid because

I want to be around my family Yeah and

you're right No matter being in this space

in the leadership space I know when we

opened the call center my husband retired

and we were living in Germany at the time

stationed LinkedIn. Germany We're having

this conversation It's like okay well what

do you want to be when you grow up No I

don't want to continue to be want

government employee I don't want to be

have government contractor I've been there

I've done that There's some security in it

Yes there's a lot of headache in it

Absolutely But I started to realize how

those things were defining me instead of

me defining me So I don't want that So

what do I want to do Well this business

came across that partnership with arise at

the time it came to me was brought to me I

was like okay Lord let's find out about

this So the more I found out about the

business the more I wanted to do it So I

said okay honey when you retire this is

what I want to do I'm going to own this

business because I can do it no matter

where I am We can do it legally from

Germany I'd done that research as an

American Or if we have to go back home

stateside I can do with there Well for 24

years my whole identity had been wrapped

up in his career You walk again, that's

place and you're not known by who you are

But at that time he was master LaQuita

Monley coming some branches first Sergeant

Mundley and he worked in the intel

industry in the military intelligence

field And so all of the things and stuff

that go with that and now here we are

That's no longer going to be the case Well

who am know or if I'm dealing with my

children I'm Dariel Devante Denise David

and mom But who am I That part was I was

unpacking that and so oh now I've got to

be this wonderful business owner got to

have this fabulous company So I'm dumping

all of my time in it because the four

older children had been off to college and

they were gone We just had the one

youngest son and he was very independent

He was in the 9th grade going to the 10th

grade So I spent insane hours insane hours

building that company to where my husband