It's the place of stuckness, it's the messy middle, it's the walking through treacle.... or it's EXACTLY where you're supposed to be ... let's rename it and reframe it.

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Hello darling heart and welcome to the drink less live better podcast. This is the podcast that helps you to see that drinking

less doesn't need to be stressful, lonely or boring. I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I decided to have a year alcohol

free as a little life experiment and haven't looked back. With my experience and training, I now help other women with their

alcohol free or drink less adventures. I'm here to tell you that you can be truly joyful without alcohol in your life. Join

me here each week to find out how. Today I'd like to tell you a story about getting ready to make a change. I spent several

years in the time or space before I was ready to make my final decision about being alcohol free for a year. I was in a place

where I was back and forth not quite ready to commit to the change. There's an area between spaces, transient places, compartments,

corridors, chrysalises, where you move from one place to another, where the journey from a to b is made possible. We cannot

click our fingers and become different immediately. We need the opportunity to think, to learn, to grow, and to develop, and

that can all happen in this space, the magical space called the liminal space. We might go into this middle ground with eyes

wide open to the change that's happening. You may know nothing of it until you were out the other side, or indeed you may

never know you were in it at all. Any or all of these options are viable and lovely to think of. Whilst I am referring to

my middle ground here with regards to my alcohol free life experiment, it could apply to so many different life scenarios.

Changing careers, having children, choosing partners, deciding where to live, the in limbo, on the threshold feeling that

comes with knowing you're stepping forward into something new. The liminal space is the middle bit, sometimes comfortable,

sometimes not so. The place of transition, of neither here nor there, of uncomfortableness, questioning, not readiness, but

looking back it's where the magic happened for me. I felt as if I was poised, ready for something different, but not knowing

if I was really bold enough or ready enough. What if I made the leap and failed? Yes. What if what if what if came up a lot?

And we know and love that voice, what if, don't we? It's sent from our brain to keep us safe from saber toothed tigers and

the like from our dim and distant pasts, but also to keep us safe, perhaps, from thinking other people are judging us or misunderstanding

us. I choose to see the liminal space I was in as a gathering and turning point. I asked myself questions. I thought long

and hard, and when I was ready, I committed. I turned away from some old behaviors and accepted some new ways of being that

I was sure were going to serve me better. Looking back, I was right, but I didn't know I was for sure at the time. I just

made a choice, drew a boundary, and stepped forward out of the prison of indecision. I hadn't realized I'd been holding myself

back until I chose to free myself. Of course, I was the only one holding myself back. No one else was responsible for that.

While I was in the liminal space, I sought other people's opinions, I researched, I thought long and hard, I dismissed some

feelings, challenged myself, and came eventually to a point of acceptance. It was a time of growth that was at times horribly

unpleasant. I saw some thoughts as truths when they weren't. I told myself stories that were founded on shaky ground, and

I asked myself endless questions to find out the reality of my situation, both past and present. I'm grateful now that I recognized

the liminal space I was in, and I recognized it while I was in it too. Although I wouldn't have called it that back at that

time. What did I call it? I called it the place of stuckness. It was the messy middle. I called it this because I thought

I was stuck. I felt I was stuck. I behaved as if I was stuck. Poor me. I wasn't stuck. I was in between who I was then and

who I am now. The place of stuckness was exactly where I needed to be then, although the liminal place does sound much better,

and the place I am now is exactly where I need to be. If you're feeling a bit stuck, a bit in between, undecided, or untethered,

try calling it the liminal space and find some comfort in the idea that you are moving in the perfect direction. Do you hear

me? You're doing just perfectly. Thank you for listening to this episode. Please listen in again next time. You can sign up

to my 5 day drink less experiment and find out about working with me one to 1 at drink less live better dot com. I'd love

it if you could 5 star rate this podcast and leave me a review. All that chisel helps, you know. Thank you. And, PS, I believe in you.