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Loving Yourself in Midlife
Episode 15026th August 2024 • The BraveHearted Woman • Dawn Damon
00:00:00 00:21:34

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Hello, beautiful Bravehearts. It is so wonderful to be with you once again!

Today, I want to offer you some thoughts about self-care and specifically really self-love in midlife. Is it okay to love ourselves? Absolutely. I'm not talking about being narcissistic. I'm not talking about an inappropriate obsession with loving yourself, but about a loving, compassionate attunement to you because you're changing. Things are different. You are in a transition and we have to pay attention to that.

So I want to offer you a few thoughts about how to just really come into this thing called midlife and beyond. I know some of you go, what's really midlife? Well, we don't know because science tells us that now the person who is going to live to 120 is already born and on this earth. It could be you, who knows, but you need to live your life and take care of yourself as if you are going to be around for a long time. And we know that you know what, your designated time to relocate to heaven and be with the Lord is established. But until then, you've got to be the best manager, the best steward of you that you can be. So I want to give you a few things.

Number one, just acceptance. That's a hard one sometimes to come into just accepting. We can't kick against the goads. We can't push against what is in terms of what we are now in midlife. We can't reverse the clock. That's not going to happen. We can delay and we can continue to live full out like I just mentioned, but embrace the new you. No shaming words, no dislike of yourself, and no criticizing of yourself. How can you do that? Well, you need to set your mind every day. Set your mind to love the woman that you see, the woman that you are, that when you look in the mirror, that woman that's looking back at you. Bless her. Be thankful for her. Speak life into her. Bring joy to her with your words of affirmation.

You know, the Bible tells us in Proverbs 17, 22, that a merry heart doeth good like a medicine. Are you a merry heart? Do you have joy in your heart? Do you say, Hey, good morning, you good-looking thing? I can't wait to see what's in store for you today. You can just determine that outlook every morning, every day determined today's going to be the best day of my life. We can do that by starting with gratitude, giving God thanks, you know, cultivating and priming that pump. We really actually do change our brains. When you start being grateful and thankful, you create a mindset that teaches your brain to observe and look for the things that are things to be grateful for. You become a magnet for miracles when you live with gratitude, when you live with acceptance when you say, I'm going to embrace the woman that I am in this season of my life. I'm going to love her. I'm going to accept her. You will find more things about yourself to love and accept.

But you know what? I'm going to give this to you as number two, be gentle and compassionate about yourself. Because when you do that you show gentleness, no scolding, no harsh words, no inner discipline or criticism. That's, you know, bossing you around and pointing out your flaws. Be gentle with yourself. Be compassionate. Because when you do that, you actually allow yourself more freedom to try, more freedom to explore, to say, Well, I can do this. I can overcome anything that comes my way because I'm not afraid of the bashing that I'm going to give myself, the shaming, the scolding, the beat down that I'm going to give myself. I'm going to be gentle and compassionate. Can you offer words to you just like you would a good friend who maybe did something and failed? Or didn't do something and feel dumb or embarrassed or they're struggling with a behavior or a habit that really is not serving them well and they know they need to change it. They fall time and time again. Maybe that's you. Maybe you're going around that same mountain again, and you're thinking, am I ever going to get victory in this area? Well, yes, you can get victory in that area.

By the way, you might not know that I do coaching. If you are interested in one-on-one coaching or group coaching, I have a brand new coaching course that's available for you. I'm helping women defeat and win and get victory over bad habits that have entangled them, that stop them, stall them, keep them stuck, mindsets that don't serve them well, and we're seeing amazing results. So that would be available for you. You can just click the show notes and you'll see my link there to get ahold of me.

But be gentle and compassionate with yourself because in so doing, you give yourself so much freedom to actually try new things, explore new things, enlarge, and increase your capacity of living. No small living. You don't have to shrink. You don't have to dissolve into some little puddle just because you're in midlife. Absolutely not.

Then it links into number one. I have a merry heart and that does your job body good, just like medicine. You'll find more energy. You'll find more enthusiasm for life. Number three, I want you to stay away from laziness. Yes, stay away from laziness.

L A Z Y. Let me give you an acronym. L, low energy. If you're struggling with low energy, don't just acquiesce. Say, okay, what's going on here? Why do I have low energy? Am I getting enough sleep? Am I getting enough good food in my body? Is there something going on that's zapping me? Am I depleted? Do I need more vitamins, uh, D vitamins? Especially if you are in Michigan or any low-sun areas, you need vitamin D3 for your body. You need supplements for your body. Maybe there's something that you're eating. Maybe something's going on, but find out because there's no reason for you to say, Oh, at this age, I'm just going to have low. I just don't have the energy that I used to. Keep saying that. You'll keep getting that. We only speak words that we want to come to pass. I have amazing energy. I have enthusiasm for every day. My body shows up 100%. What are your affirmations? What are you saying? So stay away from laziness. Stay away from low energy. Figure it out. Everything is figureoutable. Everything.

A in our lazy acronym stands for everything acquiescing to poor health. Stay away from acquiescing to poor health. Again, same principle. You don't have to say, Oh, I can't do that anymore. I used to be able to sit Indian style, but I can't do that anymore. I used to be able to do a flight of steps without stopping in between for a breath. I can't do that anymore. I used to be able to ride my bike, swim, or ski. You don't have to accept it. poor health is just part of the aging process. Don't do it. It's a lie. It's a myth. Keep owning your body. Keep stretching. Keep pushing. Keep energizing. Don't say, Oh, now I just have this condition. I have to live with it. I understand. Believe me, I understand that different new things start popping up in our bodies. But again, we don't acquiesce. We discover what's going on. We do our best to treat it. We accept what we cannot change, but we change what we can. We transform, we modify, we adjust, we learn, we educate.

All right, the Z in lazy stays away from zero personal growth. You have to keep growing. Who said you can't teach an old dog new tricks? Can of course you can keep growing. Your brain and your mind need stimulation. Keep doing the things that bring you joy, but also discover what are some new things. Do I want to learn a new language? Do I want to learn how to play the piano? Do I want to write a signature speech? Because I believe that My testimony is now ready to be shared. Do I want to write that book, or start that business? Do I want to go online and learn how to do Reels or YouTube? You can learn how to do it. You have a message. You have a burden. You have a passion. You have a calling. You have an anointing. You must keep growing. Keep learning. Study. Read. Watch the news. Stay attuned to what's going on in our world. How does God want to use your life in this season of your life?

And the Y - the younger me woes. And I said it before, the younger me was so much better than this me. When I was young, I used to do this, I used to do that as if you have no vision for right now. The younger me woes will tell you that your best days are behind you, and that's not true. The younger me woes will tell you that there's no great fulfilling purpose for your life. The younger me woes will lie to you and say there's no romance ahead for you. There's no financial turnaround for you. There's no happy ending to your story. Stay away from the younger me woes. It's all a lie. So that is my stay away from lazy acronym low energy, acquiescing to poor health, zero continued personal growth, and the younger me woes. We push them aside and we say, not me, not going to do it. Pay attention to that brave heart. Sincerely pay attention to that. Don't let the old woman get on the inside of you. Stay alert, stay attuned.

And number four, really loving yourself, and really caring for yourself means caring for your body. I've kind of touched on that already, but let me just take a little bit of a deeper dive because we know that as we age it becomes all the more important to nurture our bodies. Yes, we don't always spring back like we used to and sometimes that's because years of neglect are kind of catching up with us. But we can reverse aging, we can reverse the damage, we can't reverse the clock. So to speak, we can reverse the effects of the clock. So that includes supporting our immune system. That includes nurturing and oiling our joints, and keeping our cardiovascular and digestive systems in our best shape purview, paying attention to that. That includes our weight control, muscle control, mobility, and flexibility, all these things you are responsible for. And I really believe, you know, that we're going to give an answer to how we manage these bodies.

Some women pay more attention to their vehicles, and their cars than they do their bodies. You can get a new car, but you don't get a new body. This is it. So what about that? Well, when I was younger my metabolism just worked and those things happened. Well, we're staying away from younger me woes right now how can I support my metabolism? What can I do? What are my activity levels? Do you know that energy will begin to stimulate that metabolism? activity. We don't wait for the motivation. That motivation follows the decision to do something. So everything is constantly changing. So we have to figure it out. But I want to give you four things that you need to do for your body every day. And I'm not going to go in length.

I have another podcast that addressed this, but I am going to touch on them really quickly. Four things you have to do for your body to love yourself. to care for yourself. And again, I am at the age where I am seeing my body, my friends, people that I've known loosely, people that I've known on the big screen. We're watching the aging process and it is catching up with us. What we've done over time is beginning to show. And I don't want you to be that statistic. I don't want you to be that woman who just let go. You gotta be braveheart. That means you stay the leading lady. You stay engaged. You keep that energy.

All right. Four things you need to do for your body every day. Drink water. Every day, make sure you are drinking plenty of fluid and the general rule is this, take your weight, divide it in half, and drink that many ounces of water every day. So for easy figuring, if you're 150 pounds, you need to be drinking 75 ounces of water a day.

Drinking water does so much for your body and for your brain, your brain runs on fat and water and a dehydrated brain is a dysfunctional brain. It's not optimal. You're not going to think good. You're not going to feel good if you deplete your body of water. Number two, eat real food. Stay away from processed meats, which are proven to induce Alzheimer's or contribute to Alzheimer's, stay away from sugary sodas, which is another thing that contributes to Alzheimer's, stay away from sugar, and processed food. Stay away from those things that over drinking, too much alcohol, those things that will cause your body to have inflammation. The disease is nothing more than inflammation in the body. So eat real things, especially things like broccoli and kale, eggs, chicken, pickles, beautiful spinach, berries, strawberries, blueberries, grapes, maybe for a sweet snack.

Bet the things that you care for will care for you. The parts of your body you take care of are the parts of the body that will take care of you. Number three, already touched on it, gonna say it again. Strengthen your body and oil your joints with daily movement. You need to work out your body every day and specifically if you can do it in the morning. You do lots of research around that whole thing about what happens for you all day when you exercise your body in the morning.

Now, I'm not a runner, so for me, that doesn't mean crazy amounts of cardio, which is a myth now anyway. We know that crazy amounts of running on the treadmill really don't do anything. In fact, can, uh, Actually produce more weight gain by releasing so much cortisol, but weight training, muscle, weight lifting, resistance training, stretching, squats, abdominal work, maybe some push-ups against the wall, Pilates, maybe somatic stretching, moving your body.

Okay, every day I want to know what you're doing for your body because keeping a healthy body is important. including breath work is so good for your muscles, your bones, your sustainability. Do you know the number one thing that causes death in the elderly is after a fall, breaking a hip, some surgery, and you know why they fall? Because their balance is gone. Do you know why their balance is gone? Because they don't practice balance. Need to do that every day. Stand on one foot all day.

Okay. Number four is sleep. Get adequate rest. This is loving your body, loving your body, making sure. And I know that sleep is a splendid thing right now. Sleep is a wonderful thing and it's okay to take an afternoon siesta. It's okay to take a few minutes. There's a lot of research about that, but your overall well-being. Starts getting your body used to waking up, at a certain time in the morning and shutting down at a certain time at night. Your circadian rhythms. Pay attention to that.

All right, that's what I have for you today. I'm going to leave you with this thought. Simon Sinek's famous TED Talk, Start With Why, is one of the most viewed and listened to TED Talks. of all time. And he says this, start with why. Why is this important? Why do I want to do this? What is my compelling purpose? What is my big why?

Well, you need to do that. You need to figure that out. But I'm going to add something to this. I want you to think about it like this. Why not? Why not you? Why not now? Somebody else is doing it? Why not you? If it's a good idea, why not try it? If it's an opportunity, why not take it? If it's a challenge, why not prove it?

Do it. Start with why. Maybe. include, why not? I want you to continue to love yourself and take care of yourself because a merry heart doeth good like medicine. We need that medicine in our bodies. We need that medicine in our minds and in our hearts. All right, beautiful, brave hearts. I hope and pray that this has been a blessing to you.

You know, what could really be a blessing to me and really help me is if you will like this, subscribe and follow me, and also share it. I need reviews on Amazon. I need reviews for my book, The Making of a Bravehearted Woman. All of that helps the world know that you appreciate Christian motivation and it helps me make my message more available to more women.

I'm going to leave you like I always do. Beautiful Braveheart, is this your moment to find your brave and live your dreams?

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