Shownotes
Oh man, this bonus episode is something special. We recorded one of our phone calls. Believe it or not, these kind of chaotic conversations, actually inspired American Groove. It’s raw, unfiltered, and full of the weird stuff we usually brainstorm off the record. Think bacon cooking experiments with clothing irons, and ranting about work. Somehow landing on why stoner-friendly candles are a must.
It’s basically the blueprint of our groove, just us. Vibing, laughing, and getting way too deep about random things. If you’ve ever wondered what our brainstorming sounds like. Obviously when no one’s “officially” listening, this is it. Oh, and quick plug please check out: https://www.velvetearthshop.com/
For Karissa’s hand-made candles. perfect for the holiday season. Also sweet deals right now, up to 30% off. You’ll thank us later. Let’s roll, muchachos!
The host of American groove is Karissa Andrews. A licensed aesthetician, makeup artist and lover of pugs. The best part is that you can check out her work on Instagram:
We have a magical link below with all our socials and handle so you can find us on your favorite pod spot.
Transcripts
Karissa Andrews
Well, we should try it
You
Oh yeah fuck yeah I mean like God sake you know any phone calls we could've recorded if we had a bit of technology like we could've made a series of like literal shit like absolute
Karissa Andrews
Like actual recorded phone
You
actual right yeah
Karissa Andrews
calls
You
girl like hard-core like did he beware this week?
Karissa Andrews
Come up to me the other day and they were like I've never even heard of daddy before like They were like was I supposed to know who he was like before and I was like no nobody's heard of him in forever
You
I mean, it's kind of hilarious because he think about like most people know who Paris Hilton is right you know if somebody's like oh I've never heard of
Karissa Andrews
Yeah
You
Paris Hilton Really like you never seen a television before in your life Just saying
Karissa Andrews
Yeah, I think most people have heard of Paris Hilton but not everybody has seen the
You
Yeah
Karissa Andrews
simple life. The TV show that she was in.
You
That is like already like getting into like Intermediate level you know there are people like no
Karissa Andrews
Yeah, it's deep
You
yeah But like people that just like know somebody by name or like by like a song or I don't know like just a bit or something
Karissa Andrews
I saw like a video today like a real Paris Hilton and she was like it was a long long time ago and she was like much much younger and she had like bacon like raw bacon from the grocery store and she was like in the kitchen and she had like To like irons like to iron your clothes with, and she was putting the piece of bacon and like ironing the piece of bacon, and she was like pressing the two irons together with like a piece of bacon in the middle
You
Are you enjoying saying this while like explaining it to me cause I feel like you're getting like a slight orgasm or erection while we're talking about? I'm just saying.
Karissa Andrews
No, I just like I I'm trying to explain it well enough that it's like anybody could understand like what it was on the video like it's just like you know I don't know what made her think that like you could iron a piece of bacon like I feel like it presses like steam like it's not just a hot plate Like it does more I don't know I've never seen anybody use that for cooking
You
I mean, I've seen people use weird as shit to cook food like particularly when you're in those hotel rooms I got no kitchen or dinette and people like figure out creative ways
Karissa Andrews
Oh yeah
You
Yeah, like people be using the iron and they use like the kettle to make coffee to like mix stuff believe it or not you can use some of that. I don't know how good the food is like you know
Karissa Andrews
But if you need to eat
You
yeah and you don't got like the goddamn like fucking $28 to go to DoorDash and get like a little Caesars it's like 99 9 like literally right next-door.
Karissa Andrews
Breaking your bank because you went to little Caesars it's true like I know that life I have been eaten good for about a year now living at my parents house. I can afford the food that I want and stuff but like a couple years before it was like extra sad.
You
Yeah
Karissa Andrews
I couldn't even get a bagel from the Starbucks remember that
You
Yeah, I mean I remember the days were like Aldi was my friend and let me tell you all these should never be your friend. OK that's the place whammo go all right
Karissa Andrews
I like it
You
like I like it too, but like there was a level
Karissa Andrews
I'm I just feel like there's a couple
You
Yeah
Karissa Andrews
different things there that are good and then they had Squishmallows and like that's where I can find the most affordable candy for my candy dish like they always have like cheap candy that I can put in there
You
It's definitely been made by like a five and nine-year-old in Cambodia and then like shipped to like a dozen countries before it came here but I totally get where you're coming from like those are the best right like three dollars like a big ass bag and like it takes it like a month
Karissa Andrews
Candy I don't know I got a bag of like like tiny Snickers I have a candy dish at work and like I put candy in there for everybody I need to
You
Or you do
Karissa Andrews
get more candy. My poor students have been like so patient about the candy.
You
I'm happy they are I mean I'm trying to be patient with rolling this joint right now. That's like fat and thick like what I'm packing downstairs but totally. I have to throw it in there like yeah come on but yeah, I mean honestly like it's it's definitely. It's definitely an experience for sure for sure. So what is new with you? No yeah, like I was like to put you in the
Karissa Andrews
New with me
You
spotlight even though you don't want to like that big push it like go out there
Karissa Andrews
I bought like a for my eyebrows and it's supposed to make my eyebrows like grow like grow back in and like growing thicker OK, and then I've been under a lot of like shitty stress at my work because they fired one of my friends. Well they fired two of my friends and then now they wanna make me do all their work.
You
The same amount of money
Karissa Andrews
You have to like, yeah for sure
You
It's always the
Karissa Andrews
And then there's a whole bunch of other things that I could say about that but I'm not allowed
You
case It's like literally isn't
Karissa Andrews
to
You
that the story right? It's like we're gonna give you more stuff to do. We're gonna give you a better position. OK what about my pay all right you're gonna have like a premier parking space what about my pay and guess what else? All right you have a larger classroom yeah but what about my pay but also OK I'm done with the but what about my pay right?
Karissa Andrews
They even like gave me a review and then told me that I don't
You
What?
Karissa Andrews
qualify for a radio yet because I haven't worked there long enough
You
Excuse me, pearl
Karissa Andrews
But they were like, but if you had worked your long enough like we would give you a raise and like this time next year, we will give you a raise on you guys are gonna fire me before then for no damn reason
You
Yeah, my ass
Karissa Andrews
and like I think OK I find it irritating that they have fired my my friend but Like I find it, I forgot what I was gonna say about like yes I do. I do find it irritating that they fired him but like I find it even more irritating that I'm not allowed to talk about it. Like that is like I don't know like I don't like this like they like it's like yeah they got some type of like control over me and like I got it like you know I work for them like they deserve respect and I follow their rules and like yeah that's all fair. You know like I get it. We all gotta do what we gotta do but like there seems to be kind of like a.
You
Right
Karissa Andrews
Little overreach like on their side like I'm like yeah it seems like it had a little
You
Really
Karissa Andrews
little over controlling like and I gotta go to like a little bit more effort to like please them than like what's normal like I'm like getting a little weird like sometimes I feel like I'm like part of a cult or something and it's like what do I need to do like Stay in the colt or like you know, yeah I
You
Get out of the cold
Karissa Andrews
don't know It just feels very like odd. I don't know. I was kind of hoping that it wouldn't be that way and then it would just be like OK but it's been uncomfortable to say the least.
You
I can imagine it being uncomfortable I mean, nobody wants to put themselves or be in that type of situation I mean, obviously it's not stress. It's it's unsettling you know it doesn't give the feeling of you know come on in. Let me show you the ropes
Karissa Andrews
It just makes me want like the day to go by like so that I can just like be free of like The anxiety of like making sure that I don't like screw up. I don't know. I think they just like when a little heavy. The past couple weeks
You
They always go a little have they don't they? I mean it kind of feels like they kinda wanna like stick it to the man you know or like you like show you who's in charge and like almost repercussion of that action in itself is where you make people miserable you know it's like I get it. You're trying to prove a point but but you doing that Everybody fucking bat is crazy and don't wanna be here I I
Karissa Andrews
Yeah
You
You know it's
Karissa Andrews
Well, I just you know it's like I kinda get this like I wish that work wouldn't like like I don't want work to like take up my time like outside of like the time that they pay me for
You
Right
Karissa Andrews
But it's like they make everything so like stressful that it's really hard for me not to like talk to the people in my life like about it and then I feel like it's taken up like time Outside of like what they're paying me for because like they stress me out so much that I have to like stress my family out know The weird shit it's just like bizarre
You
We live in a very unnatural we live in very unnatural environments what I mean by that is
Karissa Andrews
We don't do anything together we all leave and like go contribute to 1 billion different things and then we come
You
Right
Karissa Andrews
back. It's fucked up.
You
yeah it's it's very unhuman. I mean we were not designed to operate in this fashion like I'm not trying to be one of those to be like you know pick it and stop working like I do nothing
Karissa Andrews
Depressing
You
exactly what I'm trying to.
Karissa Andrews
Well, you can't you we already said you have to you have to do you gotta play the game there's no choice
You
There's no choice like your choices when you did when you did you got all the choices you want you know what I'm certain
Karissa Andrews
I don't know be extra fucking hungry if you don't play the game
You
Shit, but you know what their ways of being able to have it like work to your benefit we are it's kind of being able to gravitate towards what can give you that strength and ability. I think that also environment has a very. Strong effect on how you know your day-to-day operates I think that the places and the people that we interact with has an effect on us and maybe sometimes we don't wanna see the full picture but I think we kinda do know you know like I really shouldn't be here, but I'm still here cause I have today or whatever the case may be, but like you know You know you know
Karissa Andrews
Yeah Well, yeah, you just gotta play the game
You
Story of my life
Karissa Andrews
I don't know well I say that because there was I refuse to play the game
You
Refuse it never does it never
Karissa Andrews
And it didn't go very well No, if you've ever like, what did they say like the other day was at school and you know like I can't really like say a whole lot that's one of the hard things about being a teachers like everything that you say you have to like
You
It's all right you spill your beans with me like get you drunk and shit or whatever
Karissa Andrews
No, I'm not allowed to like there's all kinds of things. I'm not allowed to say you know like it's just like we have to like.
You
This is what they do they make you sign a contract right like blood OK I'm like you don't even know
Karissa Andrews
You just have to be like Uber appropriate like you can't like you're a teacher now so you get there's like a whole bunch of things you can't talk about but like the one the one student was like she was like oh she was like I'm gonna kill myself and I was like I was like I didn't know what to say like I was like cause like I kind of felt the same and I was like I was like well You know every time I haven't it was a good thing
You
Yeah, yeah yeah
Karissa Andrews
And they all laughed like so hard, and I was like, but like honestly, like that's the best piece of advice that I can give you guys with like all of the what's the word when they They edit like all the rappers and stuff monetizing is that yeah with all the
You
Yeah, monetization
Karissa Andrews
monetization that's been put on my heart and soul and mouse and being that's the advice that I'll give you like every time I didn't kill myself. It was a good decision and I just thought that was the
You
Yeah, you know
Karissa Andrews
funniest thing in the world.
You
You could also be the person that like yeah I thought about it and I jumped the bridge and they be like you standing in here motherfucker what are you talking about? What you talking about? You chicken is like It's a real thing and I have like literally classmate the other day he's like am I alone here but like does any of you ever like think about suicide and like all yeah you like OK like I'm not alone in this and I'm like you're not alone like
Karissa Andrews
No, what is happening seems very unfair but it also seems very unfair. That dying seems better like I'm like at some point when I got older I was like hey I was like I'm mad. I'm mad at the world for making me think that I would be better off dead. Fuck you guys. Like I was like I don't know what's wrong with you but I know it's not me like you
You
It's not me it's it's
Karissa Andrews
know it's not me and I'm not gonna let like the world make me think that like I'm what's
You
you
Karissa Andrews
wrong and that I should be dead. What's wrong is the world
You
Oh
Karissa Andrews
Like I'm sorry, but like if anybody needs that peptalk you know and they just write that down Word for Word and say it back to yourself because it's true like the world is
You
I'm not trying to get
Karissa Andrews
fucked like it's not
You
I'm sorry I'm not trying to get
Karissa Andrews
you
You
political which I generally do but it's like one of those things like if somebody if somebody like that can get elected and have all those kind of folks like the running like the stuff like sometimes you gotta hate yourself like don't other people kind of feel the same way we're like the world is kind of crazy and they're kind of thinking the same way being like we should really do something about that and I'm like yeah we've been talking about this for
Karissa Andrews
Tomorrow
You
years hello
Karissa Andrews
There isn't anything to do
You
I mean, there is stuff to do like is it gonna get
Karissa Andrews
Like what?
You
on? I don't know I don't know. I'm not predict. I'm here to listen.
Karissa Andrews
Yeah, I don't know I don't. I don't know. I don't think that there's anything to do like because like. I don't know like I remember one time because nobody ever wants to like really get into it like give her like there's no one that you can really get into it with like in the first place like who the fuck are you gonna have this conversation with because it's fucking weird and morbid and strange so first off that's why this conversation doesn't happen because it's just weird and strange but like anybody that you can actually like get this far with like you've got a cool relationship with like this conversation with you cause it's like fucking strange and like we just had like a good understanding of each other but like anybody else like this is just like odd And so like whenever somebody will just be like the revolution like I'll be like yeah yeah do you like do you like running water?
You
I don't I like dirty water
Karissa Andrews
Like in a real revolution, there's no running water. There's no Internet there's no cars there's no TikTok there's no nothing in the real
You
No, no
Karissa Andrews
revolution. I hope that Ke Lingling understands that.
You
It's like it's coming to the realization like this where everybody's against each other. The thing is you gotta be able to find like common grounds with people think you're never gonna run into somebody that you're gonna like like everything about them. It's gonna be things you're not gonna like about the person the thing you gotta focus on all the things that you like about the person and what makes you connect with that individual like the way relationship stick, and the way the relationships last the way that I'm being able to see it. Is not it's not about the fight. It's not about the arguments. It's not about the differences it's about what connects you like. Why do you wanna like have a relationship with this person like why do you wanna spend time with this person like why do you wanna do anything like these are for me personally like this is important for me and not only like because I see the world for what it is. It's because like I realize how many people come and go. Limb and like snap they're gone never never again like five years ago by oh shit I have never heard from
Karissa Andrews
Yeah, I mean that kind of thing like that bothers me to think of like how people just like come and go and like their existence is like completed and I don't know it really bothers me like just to think About it at all I don't know ever since I moved home like it bothers me even more, but I try not to think about it. You know
You
Try not to think about what
Karissa Andrews
dying.
You
Oh shit, we're still talking about that. Oh fuck I totally lost track.
Karissa Andrews
Like Well, no I mean just like thinking about like people coming and going like you know like their legacy that they leave or like just like a completion of life yeah what is it? It's
You
Cell
Karissa Andrews
like. There's that song where he's like you make some money then you die
You
What song is that?
Karissa Andrews
You know just like some like 90s song like It's it was like like a Coldplay song I think like the Coldplay song
You
Play OK
Karissa Andrews
Coldplay
You
Coldplay
Karissa Andrews
Coldplay
You
I'm not gonna give her any names I had several years ago I had a Facebook account I still do and it's probably one of the only like personal social media like I don't really have any personal social media account so anyway my relative Found my Facebook page and sent it to my dad no, just for a little background. I come from religious upbringing and at the time it was not very religious. My dad finds out he flips out. And like there was no reason why the family member like had to like to do this right like there's no reason
Karissa Andrews
Yeah, people just go out of their way to get your fucking business
You
Exactly and
Karissa Andrews
I hate that
You
I really like had a rocky relationship with my dad and I still read until like he passed away but With this family member did was not only like set me back, but like where I was at the time with my dad I reached that point again when he died and I was like a four year gap so like four years before he died, I was like when this happened and I like I went back four years prior and then I like I had to like like this this person literally set me back so like the whole idea of like you literally lose somebody right you no longer have a person here anymore and like I know you can't like live in the past or whatever but you literally have somebody that like took your timeline and altered it for you without asking does that make sense? Am I like nuts over here cause I kind of feel a little crazy.
Karissa Andrews
No, I feel like well. I just wonder
You
What do you have to say?
Karissa Andrews
like if like it's morally correct for your like dad's. I don't even know if it's his friend and your dad's acquaintance to like do that like and what his motive
You
A family member on my mom side
Karissa Andrews
was. Still I feel like it's just like he's doing it just to be like ha ha look at your son or something like he's not doing it like with a good heart like it all
You
Oh yeah, it's like it's so unnecessary like the whole idea is we all have things that are going on but it's like there's also like that level of like not interfering there are times where you know like people say like don't put these people together like you're just gonna get yourself in trouble or don't work for your family like trust me it's like not a good idea or whatever it's like a lot of those like different things There's a reason why people say those things like it's not just like oh whatever that there's a real reason
Karissa Andrews
Nothing everything can go wrong, but there are specific things that go wrong more than often
You
It depends on It depends on where you wanna focus on you know what I mean
Karissa Andrews
I don't know be like weaknesses is like kind of like a strange Thought recently like you know like what is it like today? The word week was brought up a couple times and I was like how strange like I've never really thought about it before like they did my performance review and they were like asking me like what I think like my biggest weaknesses are and then like. One of the students she's talking about like any interviews they ask you like what two biggest weakness and then it was interesting like Brett sent me this thing and I said like you know, I'm like dating anyone anything or anyone that's on this list is not for the week and one of the funniest ones was like it's not for the week to like date anyone at your local bar
You
Oh my God
Karissa Andrews
I was like Truman you don't wanna date somebody from the local bar
You
Not at all But I saw them got the cheapest shit on the top Beer, I'm talking about beer
Karissa Andrews
I love you you know I get five days off work
You
We are all Thanksgiving, which is not tomorrow the following day You're off Friday you're off Saturday. You're off Sunday.
Karissa Andrews
Yeah, and now I have Monday off
You
That's a lonely You have Monday off too you lucky bitch
Karissa Andrews
I work Tuesday through Saturday this week
You
Wait this
Karissa Andrews
It was funny I was just if anybody wanted to come in on Friday and I was like I think I'm good
You
You're not going in on Friday
Karissa Andrews
If you don't make me, I was like I never get the
You
You're not going
Karissa Andrews
option
You
It's such a bad idea like what like it's literally the day after Thanksgiving it's like you want me to come in after like I sat with my family and have like for some people like just you know like normal normality like just something and like you want me to come back to your prison OK like the day after no No
Karissa Andrews
It is a present
You
It literally is with a
Karissa Andrews
Watch the
You
capital B
Karissa Andrews
students graduate and I'm like oh my God You get to leave
You
Round three you're a come, baby
Karissa Andrews
It's kind of funny to be like you know be like you're free Go live I'm stuck
You
Be free my child
Karissa Andrews
Well, I bought a happy light. You know what this is did I already tell you about this?
You
Eight I don't know every week you be getting something new last week was like a drop this week is a happy light next week will be a cactus mumu. I don't.
Karissa Andrews
The drop has gone over very well
You
He still squished the crap out of that thing
Karissa Andrews
I think today was the only day that I didn't squish it
You
Will you not nervous or afraid or paranoid?
Karissa Andrews
I was very nervous and afraid all day long. I just didn't really know where it was. I think I left it at home by mistake.
You
Oh no, that's like the worst thing ever
Karissa Andrews
It was at home yeah but I I did a lot of stuff in general today with my hand, but
You
Oh, I did a lot of stuff here today too. I actually cleaned my car.
Karissa Andrews
Oh, that's nice to get done
You
Yeah, I like I have the microfiber cloths you know and
Karissa Andrews
Oh nice
You
Very nice
Karissa Andrews
absolutely giving that car some attention. It's good.
You
Listen, if the men be not staring and let me tell you, we got some problems Just saying
Karissa Andrews
No, that sounds good. Are you liking your car? Would you like the most about it?
You
I have a 10 inch tablet screen in my car currently
Karissa Andrews
Oh, that's interesting
You
And it has CarPlay yeah OK it is really weird when you have a massive screen in your car like I don't know how people do it in Teslas cause it's very distracting
Karissa Andrews
Oh no, we don't need your distracted
You
But seriously, like yeah I don't know if your car too like they put massive screens and cars these days like
Karissa Andrews
My mom, my mom's is really big but mines not so big
You
Yours is like a little teeny, itsy-bitsy, tiny yellow polka top bikini
Karissa Andrews
It seems more it doesn't seem like a tablet or or so much like a screen screen as much as it kind of seems as you know just a like control panel in the middle I guess is what it feels like to me, but
You
I mean, you got heated seats So I'm just saying like girl you got heated seats
Karissa Andrews
Dude, I am extremely grateful and I like that the roof opens yes Like when I think of like you know, moving back here until I improve my life and everything it hasn't really gone well. The one thing that is pretty good. Is that car?
You
What about a car like the cargo in the back like you got plenty of space and stuff to put things in there now
Karissa Andrews
I do it's pretty long. I want to make a bunch of like Christmas candles, but I'm worried that I'm gonna be like a little too late.
You
By the way, like I've been asking you do you still have your website up?
Karissa Andrews
Yeah, the website still up dude and so I wanna like put
You
OK
Karissa Andrews
up like peppermint and pine and then like probably like Christmas cookie and then all the other ones but their for sale yeah, I'll ship them
You
OK So I like literally I don't know like if we've talked about this before but like you seriously make homemade candles and what is your what is the website wants to buy candles?
Karissa Andrews
I know we should put it at the beginning of an episode
You
He definitely should
Karissa Andrews
velvet earth shop .com
You
vel
Karissa Andrews
wawshop .com
You
ve t earthshoPavelvetearthshop
Karissa Andrews
Yeah
You
.com
Karissa Andrews
E A RT H
You
Shop
Karissa Andrews
shop.sho p .com
You
Yay pick up your candles this holiday season. Let me tell you when you smoke a lot of marijuana indoors. You need them candles because you want the house to smell fresh not stank I. Anyway, this has been fun. I don't know. I'm gonna press the stop recording button whenever this happens, but this has been American groove baby.
Karissa Andrews
Thank you for listening
You
Adios Muchachos
Karissa Andrews
Muchachos
