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Feed Drop - Creativity Found Podcast with Rabiah as the guest
Episode 613th July 2022 • More Than Work • Rabiah Coon
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For the first time on More Than Work, the podcast is doing a feed drop! This means that another podcast is dropping into this feed. Welcome Creativity Found podcast! The host and creator of Creativity found interviewed the host of More Than Work, Rabiah Coon, and that episode is featured here this week. We get into a few things I don’t get to dive into much like why I started comedy, where my creativity stems from and why I started this podcast! 

Note from Rabiah (Host): 

I have enjoyed meeting and getting to know Claire over the past year or more. She has a special podcast that gives a lot of inspiration and it was an honor to be her guest. I am glad to share this episode with you and will be back with a regular interview next week!

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Find Claire and Rabiah

Creativity Found: creativityfound.co.uk

Rabiah Coon: https://www.rabiahsaid.com 

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Mentioned in this episode:

New Yorker: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine 

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More than Work Facebook, Instagram, Twitter: @morethanworkpod Please review and follow anywhere you get podcasts. Thank you for listening. Have feedback? Email morethanworkpod(at)gmail.com!

Transcripts

Rabiah Coon:

This is More Than Work, the podcast reminding you that your self worth

Rabiah Coon:

is made up of more than your job title.

Rabiah Coon:

Each week, I'll talk to a guest about how they discovered that for themselves.

Rabiah Coon:

You'll hear about what they did, what they're doing and who they are.

Rabiah Coon:

I'm your host, Rabiah.

Rabiah Coon:

I work in IT, perform standup comedy, write, volunteer, and of course podcast.

Rabiah Coon:

Thank you for listening.

Rabiah Coon:

Here we go!

Rabiah Coon:

Hey, everybody, this is gonna be a quick intro because we

Rabiah Coon:

are in a heat wave in London.

Rabiah Coon:

So it's, I don't know.

Rabiah Coon:

I can't remember the Celsius temperature, but it's been about 86 today.

Rabiah Coon:

And there's no air conditioner here.

Rabiah Coon:

I mean, I bought one, but just because I need to, I can't for health

Rabiah Coon:

reasons get two overheated for too long, but man, it's been crazy.

Rabiah Coon:

So, uh, I I'm actually sharing an episode where I'm the guest and

Rabiah Coon:

someone else is interviewing me.

Rabiah Coon:

I was on the Creativity Found Podcast a while back.

Rabiah Coon:

And then more recently, Claire, the host of the podcast invited me to join

Rabiah Coon:

her at the podcast festival in London.

Rabiah Coon:

And so we hung out there, recorded in the Shure

Rabiah Coon:

audio booth and did another episode.

Rabiah Coon:

What I'm gonna do now is a feed drop.

Rabiah Coon:

So I'm dropping one of her podcast episodes that we recorded

Rabiah Coon:

together, I guess last year actually, into this episode.

Rabiah Coon:

So you're gonna hear her interview me.

Rabiah Coon:

I'll talk a little bit about comedy, the podcast, and some other stuff.

Rabiah Coon:

And next week I'll be back with me interviewing another guest, but this

Rabiah Coon:

was a good opportunity to share Claire's podcast with you and just, I don't

Rabiah Coon:

know, maybe you wanted to learn more about who you listen to every week.

Rabiah Coon:

Enjoy, definitely follow Claire at Creativity Found

Rabiah Coon:

Podcast and enjoy this show.

Rabiah Coon:

That it lit something in me where I was like, wow, you can write about

Rabiah Coon:

fishing and it can be this incredible.

Rabiah Coon:

You're trying to match what you think people want versus

Rabiah Coon:

doing what's true to you.

Rabiah Coon:

So it's weird cause it beats you up, but it also gives you confidence.

Rabiah Coon:

Just giving myself time to do these creative things and

Rabiah Coon:

not just one, but several.

Rabiah Coon:

And that's, that's kind of nice.

Rabiah Coon:

And I'm very organized, so I like to have an organized set and I've been

Rabiah Coon:

complimented for my organization.

Rabiah Coon:

I don't know if they think I'm funny, but they think I'm organized...

Rabiah Coon:

which is kind of nice.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Hi, I'm Claire, founder of Open Stage Arts drama

Claire Waite-Brown:

and singing classes for adults.

Claire Waite-Brown:

For this podcast, I chat with people who have found or refound their creativity

Claire Waite-Brown:

as adults, we'll explore their childhood experiences of the arts, discuss how

Claire Waite-Brown:

they came to the artistic practices they now love and consider the barriers they

Claire Waite-Brown:

may have experienced between the two.

Claire Waite-Brown:

We'll also explore what it is that people value and gain from their

Claire Waite-Brown:

newfound, artistic pursuits and how their creative lives enrich their

Claire Waite-Brown:

practical, necessary everyday lives.

Claire Waite-Brown:

For this episode, I'm speaking with Rabiah Coon who gave herself a

Claire Waite-Brown:

mission to do one particular quite scary thing before she was 40.

Claire Waite-Brown:

It was originally a onetime ambition, but thankfully Rabiah has continued

Claire Waite-Brown:

with her new creative release even after moving from the us to the UK,

Claire Waite-Brown:

right before a global pandemic hit.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Hi Rabiah.

Rabiah Coon:

Hello.

Claire Waite-Brown:

How are you?

Rabiah Coon:

Doing well.

Rabiah Coon:

Thanks for having me.

Rabiah Coon:

It's nice to see you virtually and hear you.

Rabiah Coon:

So yeah.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Yeah, you too.

Claire Waite-Brown:

So tell me what your newfound creative outlet is.

Rabiah Coon:

It's I there?

Rabiah Coon:

Well, I'm kind of one of those people who tries to put my hand

Rabiah Coon:

in a lot of different things, but comedy's the main one right now.

Rabiah Coon:

And then I have a podcast too, but comedy's been like a big focus.

Claire Waite-Brown:

brilliant.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Okay.

Claire Waite-Brown:

I'm looking forward to hearing more about how that came about.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Let's go back.

Claire Waite-Brown:

However, did you have a creative childhood?

Rabiah Coon:

Well, I would say that my childhood, I would do some writing.

Rabiah Coon:

I was always kind of bashful about sharing it and I feel like when I

Rabiah Coon:

tried to share it, no one was really that interested so it was kinda

Rabiah Coon:

like, oh, well you read this paper.

Rabiah Coon:

I wrote and stuff and I would write poetry.

Rabiah Coon:

And so I've always written things, but more privately and for myself.

Rabiah Coon:

But I didn't really have anything where I was gifted artistically or something.

Rabiah Coon:

It was more just kind of, I don't know, academics and reading

Rabiah Coon:

more than anything, right?

Rabiah Coon:

And then I would write, but just not realize it was

Rabiah Coon:

something I might be decent at.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Yeah.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Yeah.

Claire Waite-Brown:

So how did your education and then career progress?

Rabiah Coon:

Yeah, so, I mean, a teacher in high school really influenced me.

Rabiah Coon:

I mean, I always did well in school.

Rabiah Coon:

It was just kind of one of those things that I did.

Rabiah Coon:

I worked hard, but I did well.

Rabiah Coon:

And so I was in a advanced English class.

Rabiah Coon:

We have these things in the US called AP tests and they're just advanced

Rabiah Coon:

placement and you'll get college credit if you pass a certain standardized test.

Rabiah Coon:

And so I took writing and I, from what I remember is the only person

Rabiah Coon:

who passed in our class, the standardized test, but that teacher.

Rabiah Coon:

It just had a real impact on me.

Rabiah Coon:

And then I didn't really do anything with writing though until college again.

Rabiah Coon:

I mean, actually I remember I wrote for the school newspaper

Rabiah Coon:

in fourth grade, but that was the closest I got to doing anything.

Rabiah Coon:

And then in college I took, I kind of went through some stuff and just

Rabiah Coon:

some depression and my uncle got sick and, and passed away and I

Rabiah Coon:

got, I got sick for a little bit.

Rabiah Coon:

And then I ended up just this one quarter in college taking writing.

Rabiah Coon:

I was kinda like screw it, I'm not gonna focus on my major, which was political

Rabiah Coon:

science, just gonna focus on writing.

Rabiah Coon:

And I went into this writing class and we read a piece in the New

Rabiah Coon:

Yorker by this author, Jack McPhee.

Rabiah Coon:

And it was about shad fishing, this kind of fish.

Rabiah Coon:

And I don't care about fishing.

Rabiah Coon:

I still don't really know what a shad is, but the way it was written was so

Rabiah Coon:

incredible that it lit something in me where I was like, wow, you can write about

Rabiah Coon:

fishing and it can be this incredible.

Rabiah Coon:

And, it changed me.

Rabiah Coon:

It changed the way I looked at writing and the way I looked at writing nonfiction.

Rabiah Coon:

And it's when I started reading the New Yorker.

Rabiah Coon:

And I, I have to say I've probably skipped most articles in the New Yorker

Rabiah Coon:

versus reading them, just cause I haven't ever been able to force myself.

Rabiah Coon:

I had one year in New York City when I was living there that

Rabiah Coon:

was commuting on the train.

Rabiah Coon:

I could, I could get through, uh, an issue a week for a little while, but, um,

Rabiah Coon:

it changed everything and I think, but it didn't change enough because then I

Rabiah Coon:

still was scared to do it for a living.

Rabiah Coon:

I mean, I wanted to, and so I would take, like, I took screenwriting

Rabiah Coon:

course right after college, but I just kind of ended up working.

Rabiah Coon:

I ended up working in IT pretty quick after college and I'm still in it.

Rabiah Coon:

It wasn't until about two years ago, I took a writing class at

Rabiah Coon:

Esalen, the Esalan Institute and Big Sur in California where I'm from.

Rabiah Coon:

And that lit the, the spark in me again that did it.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Okay, well, that's brilliant.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Why, why political science do you think?

Rabiah Coon:

I was always interested in politics.

Rabiah Coon:

I always admired for better or worse, I admired the people in government.

Rabiah Coon:

I don't know.

Rabiah Coon:

I mean, I admire people who serve , you know.

Rabiah Coon:

I think there are people who serve and they spend their life

Rabiah Coon:

in service of others and that can be in the government or otherwise.

Rabiah Coon:

And so I admire those people.

Rabiah Coon:

And I admire the parts of them that are doing that, but I just,

Rabiah Coon:

I was always interested as a kid.

Rabiah Coon:

I don't know why, cause it certainly isn't for my family.

Rabiah Coon:

My, I mean, my family's pretty engaged now or they have been for the last like

Rabiah Coon:

four or five years because of what's been going on in the us, but I was

Rabiah Coon:

always, and I always thought it was so important to vote and I had this

Rabiah Coon:

kind of resolute attitude about that.

Rabiah Coon:

And so, and I thought I wanted to be a lawyer and that was the path.

Rabiah Coon:

I really wanted to be a prosecutor actually.

Rabiah Coon:

and then.

Rabiah Coon:

I realized I didn't.

Rabiah Coon:

You know, life happened and things happened in my, my black and white

Rabiah Coon:

views changed to a lot of gray.

Rabiah Coon:

And I just was like, oh, I don't wanna do that anymore.

Rabiah Coon:

But yeah, PoliSci was the path to being a lawyer.

Rabiah Coon:

And that's what I thought I wanted to do.

Rabiah Coon:

Plus I thought law was success.

Rabiah Coon:

I thought that was gonna be me being successful, you know?

Claire Waite-Brown:

Yeah.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Interesting.

Claire Waite-Brown:

You said you fell into jobs then after college, what kind of thing came about and

Claire Waite-Brown:

how did that lead to, uh, what you do now?

Rabiah Coon:

Just, some people know.

Rabiah Coon:

I mean, I, I just left a role as a project manager in IT, which I've been in for

Rabiah Coon:

five years and I started a marketing role.

Rabiah Coon:

and how I got into that role is very similar to how I got into my other roles.

Rabiah Coon:

And so right after college, I had been working in, it could sound

Rabiah Coon:

fancy and say housing and dining.

Rabiah Coon:

I worked in the cafeteria serving fries.

Rabiah Coon:

, you know, would you like fries with that and other things.

Rabiah Coon:

And I, I was a student manager eventually and helped with training programs.

Rabiah Coon:

I've always been kind of a person who's curious and who tries to do

Rabiah Coon:

a little bit more and that can.

Rabiah Coon:

You know, when you grow up the younger sibling of someone like me, it's pretty

Rabiah Coon:

annoying . But, um, I, so in college, when I was working at the cafeteria, I,

Rabiah Coon:

I ended up doing some training programs and stuff that helped the HR department.

Rabiah Coon:

And so then this woman was going on maternity leave and they asked me if

Rabiah Coon:

I'd fill in, in the HR department, helping coordinate training with people

Rabiah Coon:

who are English as the second language speakers and coordinating all the

Rabiah Coon:

trainings across the department and just doing other admin kind of things.

Rabiah Coon:

And.

Rabiah Coon:

I also, wasn't getting student loans anymore and I really needed more money

Rabiah Coon:

cause I needed to start paying them back.

Rabiah Coon:

And when you're working in those low wage jobs, , it gets, it gets

Rabiah Coon:

real, very fast after college.

Rabiah Coon:

And so I took a part-time job in a call center and I was working,

Rabiah Coon:

selling flowers, basically.

Rabiah Coon:

It was a flower company and I asked for more things to do.

Rabiah Coon:

I would work overnight.

Rabiah Coon:

So a lot of times I would work during the week, you know, at my job, eight

Rabiah Coon:

to five, then I'd go to the other job from like six or seven to 11 or 12.

Rabiah Coon:

And then on the weekend, I'd get the overnight shift.

Rabiah Coon:

And so, wow.

Rabiah Coon:

I ended up becoming a supervisor and then someone saw like,

Rabiah Coon:

Hey, this isn't working out.

Rabiah Coon:

You keep trying to do these other projects, kind of operations stuff.

Rabiah Coon:

And I never had labels for things.

Rabiah Coon:

I just was kind of trying to improve processes.

Rabiah Coon:

So I moved in operations, then warehouse management and product management.

Rabiah Coon:

I just kept saying yes to things and people kept offering them.

Rabiah Coon:

And that's kind of like, I became a product manager in the mobile and

Rabiah Coon:

webspace, and that's what led me to where I am, because I was, it was again,

Rabiah Coon:

Hey, do you wanna do this or try this?

Rabiah Coon:

And sure.

Rabiah Coon:

And I worked all over.

Rabiah Coon:

I worked in New York City, in Dallas, and now I'm here in London, but I

Rabiah Coon:

just kind of kept doing a good job and asking questions and being curious.

Rabiah Coon:

And I moved around and, and so now with my current role after being in it

Rabiah Coon:

for almost 20 years, I was asked if I wanted to try out the marketing side

Rabiah Coon:

and that it, it, it's been hard to reckon with cuz someone's actually just

Rabiah Coon:

recognizing who I am and what I'm good at.

Rabiah Coon:

And it's giving me a chance to do it professionally.

Rabiah Coon:

And that's insane to me.

Rabiah Coon:

And it's in a different, it's an in the context of it, but it's, it's amazing.

Rabiah Coon:

And it's, it's kind of applying my creativity to work and I, I didn't think

Rabiah Coon:

that would ever happen to be honest.

Claire Waite-Brown:

That is amazing.

Claire Waite-Brown:

So can I ask how did stand up comedy start coming into your psyche?

Rabiah Coon:

Yeah, so, you know, I, it's funny.

Rabiah Coon:

Um, just this weekend I had this epiphany, I was out, I was out having

Rabiah Coon:

beers with a mate as one might say here, and I just remembered this

Rabiah Coon:

guy, Victor Borge, he's this comedian and piano player from Denmark.

Rabiah Coon:

And I remembered it suddenly and it just came flooding back.

Rabiah Coon:

And I sent a video of the guy to my friend and he goes, well, I can see where your

Rabiah Coon:

humor came from and I'm not silly the way he is, but there's a, there's the writing.

Rabiah Coon:

So I, I would watch out with my grandma.

Rabiah Coon:

So I just, over a time writing my sets, I realized more and more how much of an

Rabiah Coon:

influence my grandma's been and it's kind.

Rabiah Coon:

It's just interesting, but I think I've always liked comedy.

Rabiah Coon:

I mean, I always watched Dave Letterman growing up and I'm not a comedy

Rabiah Coon:

nerd, so I can't name every comedian.

Rabiah Coon:

Like some people can, but I just, I always wanted to try it.

Rabiah Coon:

And it was this thing that I didn't articulate for a while.

Rabiah Coon:

And then finally, like I was around 30 or so, and I said, oh, I'm gonna do comedy

Rabiah Coon:

by the time I'm 40 and I'm the friend in the group that everyone said, oh, you

Rabiah Coon:

should do comedy or do you do comedy?

Rabiah Coon:

And you know, it doesn't translate from being just a smart ass among

Rabiah Coon:

your friends to the stage always.

Rabiah Coon:

It really doesn't.

Rabiah Coon:

I mean, it's kind of a thing people don't get, cuz you're not being yourself really

Rabiah Coon:

at that point when you're on stage.

Rabiah Coon:

And so I, um, I just said, well, by the time I'm 40, I'll do it.

Rabiah Coon:

But then it became this statement I said that I had to stick with cuz it was like

Rabiah Coon:

the only time I've really stated, like by the time I'm X age, I'll do something.

Rabiah Coon:

So I waited.

Rabiah Coon:

I mean, I waited until I was 39 , you know, the eve of my turning into

Rabiah Coon:

an adult, you know what I mean?

Rabiah Coon:

But I, like I mentioned, I took that writing course at Esalen.

Rabiah Coon:

I was this, this kind of gift I gave myself to go to this beautiful place and,

Rabiah Coon:

and write, and that wasn't comedy writing, but it was more narrative writing.

Rabiah Coon:

And I just, I was like, oh, I held my own with these people who are, some of them

Rabiah Coon:

have been writers for their whole lives.

Rabiah Coon:

And I had real writing instructors and it informed me that, okay, I could do it and

Rabiah Coon:

I could write in a funny way, but I have a lot of serious things to write about too.

Rabiah Coon:

And so then I took that kind of momentum in 2000 into 2018.

Rabiah Coon:

And on 2019, I signed up for a comedy class and I paid for it and I was

Rabiah Coon:

like, all right, now I have to go.

Rabiah Coon:

And then I took the stage for the first time in March of 2019.

Rabiah Coon:

And I turned 40 in May.

Rabiah Coon:

And so I, the deal was I had to do it once and then I just kind

Rabiah Coon:

of, I kept doing it and I kept...

Rabiah Coon:

the writing doesn't come as easy as I'd like it to, but it comes.

Rabiah Coon:

And the part that excites me the most is that, and the part that excites me even

Rabiah Coon:

more than that is putting together a set and having a line that goes through

Rabiah Coon:

things that don't seem related and then saying, oh, that word didn't work.

Rabiah Coon:

But that word word does.

Rabiah Coon:

All of it.

Rabiah Coon:

And so, yeah.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Speaking of which, what is your style and how

Claire Waite-Brown:

do you go about preparing your set, but also getting yourself out there

Claire Waite-Brown:

and getting booked and putting yourself on stage in front of people?

Rabiah Coon:

So it's, well, first of all, it's more admin than I thought.

Rabiah Coon:

I mean, I did not expect to be, to have to project manage my comedy, but I do.

Rabiah Coon:

So as far as writing and writing a set, I mean, some people carry a notebook.

Rabiah Coon:

I, I might do that or I'll just put it in my notes on my phone.

Rabiah Coon:

I just read an article about how people use notes for everything.

Rabiah Coon:

It's almost like a, a journal of their stream of consciousness at this point,

Rabiah Coon:

but I use a notes application on my phone and if I just, something makes me laugh

Rabiah Coon:

and I'll put it in there and sometimes it'll be six months and I'll go back to

Rabiah Coon:

it and say, oh yeah, I'll just scroll through and say, oh yeah, that's funny.

Rabiah Coon:

I can do something with that now.

Rabiah Coon:

I try to just find something I find funny or a premise that

Rabiah Coon:

I like and then build on it.

Rabiah Coon:

And so I do a bit about, I choked.

Rabiah Coon:

I choked in a restaurant.

Rabiah Coon:

I needed the Heimlich.

Rabiah Coon:

I truly did.

Rabiah Coon:

It didn't work out.

Rabiah Coon:

I mean, it was, it was.

Rabiah Coon:

But I found a way to exaggerate a few things and interpret a few

Rabiah Coon:

things that, that make it funny.

Rabiah Coon:

And so I ended up writing about it six months later.

Rabiah Coon:

I didn't write about it right away.

Rabiah Coon:

I was kind of scared actually at the time when happened.

Rabiah Coon:

So there's things like that, or I'll just see.

Rabiah Coon:

Something occurs.

Rabiah Coon:

And I'll just think, well, maybe it's a throwaway joke or

Rabiah Coon:

maybe I'll turn it into a bit.

Rabiah Coon:

And so I'll put it together, a set just in that, based on like different things I've

Rabiah Coon:

worked out and try to throw a new thing in to test it out while I'm doing old stuff.

Rabiah Coon:

So you kind of are safe cuz you do old stuff that works and then you do

Rabiah Coon:

new stuff that you don't know what's gonna happen, but you can recover from.

Rabiah Coon:

And then just with booking gigs, I mean in London, It's a lot of work.

Rabiah Coon:

I mean, you have to email people, talk to people, fill in

Rabiah Coon:

Google forms, hope you get on.

Rabiah Coon:

Make sure you update your calendar so you don't double book yourself

Rabiah Coon:

cuz a lot of people do that.

Rabiah Coon:

There's this idea of a bringer where you have to have someone with you so

Rabiah Coon:

that you can perform, which is really hard when you just move to a country.

Rabiah Coon:

But it's even hard.

Rabiah Coon:

If you've been doing comedy for years.

Rabiah Coon:

Your friends don't wanna go see every single, see you do the same bit, the

Rabiah Coon:

same set you did like 50 times before.

Rabiah Coon:

So I get, you know, I just book gigs and I talk to people and

Rabiah Coon:

try to build relationships with people when they're the people I

Rabiah Coon:

wanna be involved with creatively.

Rabiah Coon:

There's different types of humor, different types of comics but I

Rabiah Coon:

found that I've been able to build a really nice community here for

Rabiah Coon:

myself now, at least a friendly face.

Rabiah Coon:

When I walk into most gigs, I'll usually recognize someone

Rabiah Coon:

and they'll recognize me.

Rabiah Coon:

And hopefully I didn't do anything to upset them last time I saw them.

Rabiah Coon:

I don't know.

Rabiah Coon:

I mean, that's possible.

Rabiah Coon:

Um, and I just try to like, not be too self deprecating with myself just

Rabiah Coon:

because I have done a lot of therapy so I know , I know where that comes from.

Rabiah Coon:

And I know it makes people, it's funny sometimes, sometimes

Rabiah Coon:

it makes people uncomfortable.

Rabiah Coon:

When you say things that are clearly untrue about yourself, that you just

Rabiah Coon:

have a bad self image versus you're being funny and exaggerating something.

Rabiah Coon:

So I try to be careful about that, the subject of myself and other subjects too.

Rabiah Coon:

I know everyone's complaining about "woke" stuff, but it's like, I don't

Rabiah Coon:

know if you have to say something racist, then you probably just need to

Rabiah Coon:

find something else to say, honestly, like, you know, that's my opinion.

Rabiah Coon:

So say what you want, but just know someone's gonna talk about it.

Rabiah Coon:

And I, I watch it too, cuz I mean, even as someone who considers themself pretty,

Rabiah Coon:

pretty woke and pretty aware, I learn every day I learn something I think

Rabiah Coon:

about who am I making fun of in my jokes?

Rabiah Coon:

And am I making fun of someone I don't wanna make fun of?

Rabiah Coon:

So that's when you turn it on yourself, kind of but it's interesting

Rabiah Coon:

though, to put it all together, I really love doing it though.

Rabiah Coon:

That's the part that I find the most interesting.

Rabiah Coon:

and I'm very organized.

Rabiah Coon:

So I like to have an organized set and I've been complimented

Rabiah Coon:

for my organization.

Rabiah Coon:

I don't know if they think I'm funny, but they think I'm organized.

Rabiah Coon:

which kind of nice.

Claire Waite-Brown:

yeah.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Brilliant.

Claire Waite-Brown:

You've mentioned about coming to London.

Claire Waite-Brown:

It wasn't, it wasn't that long ago that you came coming to London,

Claire Waite-Brown:

how has that kind of affected your comedy side of things?

Claire Waite-Brown:

Generally your resilience, cuz you came here at quite a tough time.

Rabiah Coon:

Yeah.

Rabiah Coon:

Yeah.

Rabiah Coon:

I arrived in January of 2020 at the very end of January too.

Rabiah Coon:

I like to say that cause it's not like I got that extra month.

Rabiah Coon:

People might think I got, I got, you know, a couple days in January.

Rabiah Coon:

and then yeah, I got around a little bit right before, before

Rabiah Coon:

lockdown, the initial lockdown.

Rabiah Coon:

So I got to meet a few people and started to see how things worked.

Rabiah Coon:

When I moved here.

Rabiah Coon:

And I, and people might relate to this when they are trying a new

Rabiah Coon:

thing or whatever, but I tried to fit what I thought they wanted to hear.

Rabiah Coon:

And I think that could apply in any way, like you you're trying to

Rabiah Coon:

match what you think people want versus doing what's true to you.

Rabiah Coon:

And so I try to change my jokes or I try to write new jokes for London audience.

Rabiah Coon:

Like I just made up what I thought they wanted.

Rabiah Coon:

And, and really I had this kind of moment where I said, all right,

Rabiah Coon:

you're not, nothing's working.

Rabiah Coon:

You've done three gigs.

Rabiah Coon:

Nothing's working.

Rabiah Coon:

and maybe you should just try what, what was working and then change it

Rabiah Coon:

if you find there's something there.

Rabiah Coon:

And so that little, like six weeks time gave me that opportunity.

Rabiah Coon:

And then we went into lockdown and so, uh, some of us transitioned onto

Rabiah Coon:

zoom and we did zoom comedy gigs.

Rabiah Coon:

And, and I actually just met this weekend.

Rabiah Coon:

Um, a woman that I had met online that was in, in a zoom comedy room, like on a gig.

Rabiah Coon:

She was funny.

Rabiah Coon:

She thought I was funny.

Rabiah Coon:

We just connected she's from Alaska lives in Germany.

Rabiah Coon:

I'm from California live here in London.

Rabiah Coon:

She came here for a contest and stayed with me for two nights and it could have

Rabiah Coon:

gone either way, but it went really well.

Rabiah Coon:

And I've had a few people like I've met now in person.

Rabiah Coon:

We met online, we did in person and now we're back online.

Rabiah Coon:

I think the most shocking thing has just been everyone's height.

Rabiah Coon:

really funny.

Rabiah Coon:

and I've surprised people with my height.

Rabiah Coon:

I think I, I come off as shorter on online for some reason, but that's

Rabiah Coon:

what I, the feedback I've gotten.

Rabiah Coon:

But I think it really, the connection that was built and also just the ability

Rabiah Coon:

to keep doing the comedy, the people who organize this, organize these gigs.

Rabiah Coon:

It takes a lot of work.

Rabiah Coon:

They gave everyone opportunity to connect and to keep working on their stuff.

Rabiah Coon:

And so I think participating in that really helped me a lot.

Rabiah Coon:

It helped me build a life within a studio flat that was everywhere.

Rabiah Coon:

It's been weird to transition out, to be honest with you.

Rabiah Coon:

Like the more I go out, the more odd it is because I kind of knew what

Rabiah Coon:

my life was for a year and a half.

Rabiah Coon:

The only life I knew in London and now it's changed so that's a bit jarring.

Rabiah Coon:

I think people aren't talking about that too much, but it's happening.

Rabiah Coon:

But, uh, moving to a new country and then in that situation really made.

Rabiah Coon:

Appreciate the fact that I had these creative outlets to, to do things.

Rabiah Coon:

And I started podcasting that time too.

Rabiah Coon:

Like I, everyone did fine.

Rabiah Coon:

That's all right.

Rabiah Coon:

We're both but we have something to say and we have people on who

Rabiah Coon:

have something to say, I don't wanna be too defensive, but, uh,

Rabiah Coon:

but yeah, it's just, I don't know.

Rabiah Coon:

It just helped build like my ability to say, okay, I saw life as one way

Rabiah Coon:

now it's another way I can adjust.

Rabiah Coon:

And that's been really, and now I'm doing the same thing again.

Rabiah Coon:

I think everyone is we're adjusting again.

Rabiah Coon:

It's cool.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Yeah.

Claire Waite-Brown:

What are the differences and what are your preferences with performing

Claire Waite-Brown:

online and performing in clubs, which I know you are doing more of now?

Rabiah Coon:

Yeah, well, I think buttoning up your jeans,

Rabiah Coon:

you know, that's a little bit

Rabiah Coon:

no, but, uh, so online.

Rabiah Coon:

So yeah, that's actually, it's interesting because in person you are,

Rabiah Coon:

if you do well, you do well, right?

Rabiah Coon:

You know what that is.

Rabiah Coon:

But when you don't, oh man.

Rabiah Coon:

I mean, they're just there.

Rabiah Coon:

Their whole body is there.

Rabiah Coon:

So you're not even just seeing their face, not like you, but you're seeing their

Rabiah Coon:

whole body just kind of reject you and you know, but it's kind of nice because after

Rabiah Coon:

a performance too, you get the hangout and talk to people and see each other.

Rabiah Coon:

So that's a little different.

Rabiah Coon:

Maybe someone might come up and say great job or whatever.

Rabiah Coon:

They just might ignore you when they walk by, which is fine.

Rabiah Coon:

So in person, I think there's just the energy is there and, and you,

Rabiah Coon:

you can detect it and you can play off the room a little bit more.

Rabiah Coon:

And, online,

Rabiah Coon:

I think it actually helped me because it, I got used to silence and not because

Rabiah Coon:

I wasn't funny necessarily, but just because people are muted, you know.

Rabiah Coon:

Or they're not even showing their camera.

Rabiah Coon:

And when I was comfortable with my material, certain of it, then

Rabiah Coon:

it's fine not to be conceited, but I know what's funny.

Rabiah Coon:

And I know some of mine's not, and the stuff that I know is funny, I'm okay.

Rabiah Coon:

If I don't hear anything, uh, the stuff that's not, I become very uneasy, but

Rabiah Coon:

it made me deal with it a little bit.

Rabiah Coon:

So now on stage, a little easier.

Rabiah Coon:

Not much easier, but a little easier to deal.

Rabiah Coon:

The online you had the camera to play with in a different way, which was fun.

Rabiah Coon:

But I mean, I prefer in person for sure.

Rabiah Coon:

Um, but online was good because also you didn't have to commute.

Rabiah Coon:

I mean, you saved a lot of time.

Rabiah Coon:

It was more accessible.

Rabiah Coon:

I think what opened my eyes a lot.

Rabiah Coon:

And even when I did a show in Camden fringe, like the venues, aren't accessible

Rabiah Coon:

to people who have mobility issues.

Rabiah Coon:

And even if they're hearing impaired, they're not necessarily accessible

Rabiah Coon:

where Zoom has captioning and people can just see it in their living room.

Rabiah Coon:

So I think that that's something that needs to be addressed more.

Rabiah Coon:

And I think we'll see more blending of online and in person because of that

Rabiah Coon:

so that was something I wasn't maybe aware of just because it's not an issue

Rabiah Coon:

I have to deal with, but yeah, so I like both, but they're very different.

Rabiah Coon:

they're very different

Claire Waite-Brown:

creativity found dot co dot uk (creativityfound.co.uk)

Claire Waite-Brown:

is the place to go to find workshops, courses, supplies, kits, and

Claire Waite-Brown:

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Claire Waite-Brown:

So, if you are looking for your own creativity, found experience, go have

Claire Waite-Brown:

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Claire Waite-Brown:

And if you can help adults to find their new creative passion, please get

Claire Waite-Brown:

in touch on social media or through the contact details on the website

Claire Waite-Brown:

So stand up, obviously you are very organized and you are scripted, but you

Claire Waite-Brown:

are not completely tethered by a script as you would be in a theater production.

Claire Waite-Brown:

And obviously when you're out there in real life, audiences do react and that

Claire Waite-Brown:

plays a big part in the performance.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Have you learned any lessons or developed in confidence with regards to dealing

Claire Waite-Brown:

with your audience there and then, and maybe dealing with what you've heard or

Claire Waite-Brown:

what you felt after the show and your own kind of resilience and acceptance?

Rabiah Coon:

Yeah, actually, I've learned a lot and I, and it's iterative.

Rabiah Coon:

Like I learn it and I forget it.

Rabiah Coon:

And then I learn it again.

Rabiah Coon:

But I think a couple things, I mean, typically I don't

Rabiah Coon:

get heckled, which is good.

Rabiah Coon:

I have, and I've handled it poorly where I try to just get them back and

Rabiah Coon:

I've handled it better where I just kind of throw it away and it's better

Rabiah Coon:

to not, if I wanna do my set, then I need to have respect for myself and my

Rabiah Coon:

time and not spend it on those people.

Rabiah Coon:

If I wanna make them the focus, then I can do that.

Rabiah Coon:

And I think that maybe if I had more experience, I would

Rabiah Coon:

make them the focus sometimes.

Rabiah Coon:

But if I have only five minutes on stage, I don't wanna spend

Rabiah Coon:

three of it with these people.

Rabiah Coon:

Yeah.

Rabiah Coon:

Um, if people don't laugh and stuff, I try, I, I work really hard and

Rabiah Coon:

I'm not good at it yet, but to not internalize things while I'm on

Rabiah Coon:

stage, because one thing I've found and is I'll record my sets a lot.

Rabiah Coon:

I don't hear clearly when I'm on stage.

Rabiah Coon:

So I am busy trying to figure out what I'm saying and trying to react to things, but

Rabiah Coon:

I might not hear as many laughs as I got.

Rabiah Coon:

And so when I listen back, I'm like, oh, okay.

Rabiah Coon:

That didn't go as badly as I thought it doesn't feel as gross.

Rabiah Coon:

And sometimes it does and sometimes like, okay, well what didn't work?

Rabiah Coon:

And then it'll, I'll have to try to remember well, yeah, cuz I started

Rabiah Coon:

feeling really badly at that point, so I didn't deliver the next thing.

Rabiah Coon:

Well, and so it's this thing.

Rabiah Coon:

Trying to almost realize when I'm not present and then to remember

Rabiah Coon:

the next time to stay present.

Rabiah Coon:

And I don't know if that happens with you with performance, but

Rabiah Coon:

I feel like being present really helps even when you're having to

Rabiah Coon:

interact and feed off of audiences.

Rabiah Coon:

I think too, it's not Shakespeare, you know?

Rabiah Coon:

And I've, I've told this to other comics.

Rabiah Coon:

I don't know if it ever helps them, but they go, oh, I I'm gonna forget

Rabiah Coon:

my line and I'll do the same thing.

Rabiah Coon:

Oh, I forgot one of my punchlines.

Rabiah Coon:

And it happened to a friend last night and I'm just like, yeah, but

Rabiah Coon:

no one knew, you know what I mean?

Rabiah Coon:

Cause if I can't imagine doing Shakespeare, there's all these

Rabiah Coon:

experts sitting there going, oh, they didn't do this right.

Rabiah Coon:

You know, but no one knows our stuff so it's, it's kind of like a freedom in that.

Rabiah Coon:

And you know, if you mess up, you just do the next thing.

Rabiah Coon:

The one thing I did learn, and I don't know if I learned it from someone or

Rabiah Coon:

I made it up, but I don't think I did I'll I won't take credit for making

Rabiah Coon:

up was no matter how my set today goes, my next steps are the same.

Rabiah Coon:

It's to reflect on it either if it goes badly or, well, I'll still reflect on it.

Rabiah Coon:

And then it's to do the next show.

Rabiah Coon:

If I did badly, I don't skip the next show.

Rabiah Coon:

And if I did well, I don't skip the next show.

Rabiah Coon:

I just do it and then I'll do badly or well, the next time.

Rabiah Coon:

So that's kind of freeing in a way.

Rabiah Coon:

There's no real consequence, unless, I mean, if it's a contest, you don't win it.

Rabiah Coon:

Well, whatever, but it takes a lot and it's just, um, I have to

Rabiah Coon:

remind myself constantly, cuz I, I wanna quit like once a week.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Oh.

Rabiah Coon:

just because I'm like, what am I doing this for?

Claire Waite-Brown:

yeah.

Rabiah Coon:

You know, so, but then once a week, I think, oh,

Rabiah Coon:

maybe I'll make it too, you know,

Claire Waite-Brown:

But, do you see a relationship between you mentioned at

Claire Waite-Brown:

the very beginning of this episode, about the new role in your day job?

Rabiah Coon:

Mm-hmm

Claire Waite-Brown:

do you see a relationship in perhaps gaining

Claire Waite-Brown:

confidence through doing the comedy that has somehow, maybe subconsciously

Claire Waite-Brown:

filtered into your day job?

Rabiah Coon:

Yeah, sure.

Rabiah Coon:

In my day job in general, I mean, I'll have to, I'll have

Rabiah Coon:

to really think on my feet well, and I have to do that in comedy.

Rabiah Coon:

And then I have to speak confidently about whatever it is and speak with

Rabiah Coon:

the client and speak with different people I might not expect to.

Rabiah Coon:

And a lot of times speaking and giving presentations really intimidates

Rabiah Coon:

people, but it's like, I've, I've had to present some of the toughest

Rabiah Coon:

stuff I I'll ever have to on stage because it's just really hard to just

Rabiah Coon:

go and talk to random people who don't necessarily want you to succeed, you know.

Rabiah Coon:

So I think it's helped with that.

Rabiah Coon:

And yeah, it's given me a little bit more, just self confidence.

Rabiah Coon:

It's weird.

Rabiah Coon:

Cause it beats you up, but it also gives you confidence because it

Rabiah Coon:

tells you that yeah, you can do it.

Rabiah Coon:

So even if a meeting goes badly, I can go well, okay.

Rabiah Coon:

I can just, at least . With a meeting, you can go have luxury of emailing the person

Rabiah Coon:

and saying, Hey, Hey, that did part didn't go, well, I want to reticulate this.

Rabiah Coon:

Like in comedy you can't email the audience and, well, Hey

Rabiah Coon:

guys, no, I'm really funny.

Rabiah Coon:

I really am.

Rabiah Coon:

Here's how the bit was supposed to go, come back.

Rabiah Coon:

So, um, but yeah, it's helped me with work for sure.

Rabiah Coon:

And it's given me, it's kind of made me more efficient at work in a way,

Rabiah Coon:

because like, if I have something to do after work, I can't sit and

Rabiah Coon:

work for 12 hours because I've gotta leave at 6:00 PM to get to my gig.

Rabiah Coon:

So now I have to get my stuff done by six, where I would say before,

Rabiah Coon:

I mean, I do work hard and I did work long hours, but sometimes I

Rabiah Coon:

would probably say unnecessarily.

Rabiah Coon:

And I think a lot of people do that they don't time box themselves.

Rabiah Coon:

So they go, oh, I had to work a really long day.

Rabiah Coon:

It's like, well, did you, or did you kind of not value your time, right?

Rabiah Coon:

And sometimes we have to work a 12 hour day and sometimes it's

Rabiah Coon:

like, well, we put it on ourselves.

Rabiah Coon:

And, and so it's made me see that.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Talking about the young Rabiah who liked writing,

Claire Waite-Brown:

but didn't feel confident enough to share that writing you are sharing

Claire Waite-Brown:

your writing now by performing it.

Claire Waite-Brown:

And do you feel that you can do more with your writing and

Claire Waite-Brown:

have the confidence behind that, that you might use it elsewhere?

Rabiah Coon:

Yeah, absolutely.

Rabiah Coon:

I, a dream would be to like get published in the New Yorker,

Rabiah Coon:

you know, ultimately, right?

Rabiah Coon:

That, but that's, I don't know.

Rabiah Coon:

That's a lot of people's dream, but I think also I wanna do more spoken

Rabiah Coon:

word kind of things if I could, I've written a lot of poetry over the years.

Rabiah Coon:

Now, some of it I will burn if I ever find out like, this is the date of

Rabiah Coon:

your death in the future, the day before, there will be some things gone.

Rabiah Coon:

Some of them will be my poetry because there's no way.

Rabiah Coon:

But yeah, I mean, and I've shared some of that too here and and that's tricky

Rabiah Coon:

that that really makes me feel vulnerable, sharing that more than the comedy.

Rabiah Coon:

And then writing, like I'll write things in my blog and I'm trying to write

Rabiah Coon:

more like the other night I just, I was supposed to do maybe some schoolwork and

Rabiah Coon:

I was also supposed to do, I just thought, oh, I have to get all this admin done

Rabiah Coon:

and whatever, but I was really wanted to write something about an experi-

Rabiah Coon:

I wanted to see a concert and I wanted to write about that.

Rabiah Coon:

And I.

Rabiah Coon:

It respected kind of what I was thinking about and just did it.

Rabiah Coon:

And it was partly because I had talked to my therapist the day before, just

Rabiah Coon:

about some things and I thought, no, I'm gonna listen to myself and do it.

Rabiah Coon:

And it felt really good.

Rabiah Coon:

And I, I think I wanna do that more, uh, because I think I can write and

Rabiah Coon:

I think I have things to say that aren't just on, on the comedy stage.

Rabiah Coon:

So it's getting me more and more into like, giving myself

Rabiah Coon:

time to do these creative things and not just one, but several.

Rabiah Coon:

And that's, that's been kind of nice.

Claire Waite-Brown:

You mentioned about your time and respecting your time.

Claire Waite-Brown:

And that's a really good thing that you can do now in a way that

Claire Waite-Brown:

you can think that you can allow yourself to do more writing.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Because quite often my guests, we talk about that balance and it can be

Claire Waite-Brown:

the admin side of running a creative business is way more than the actual,

Claire Waite-Brown:

lovely, creative time you get to do it.

Rabiah Coon:

Yeah, I've heard your guests talk about that.

Rabiah Coon:

And it totally resonated with me because, so what I've tried to do, and

Rabiah Coon:

it's not look, it's not always working, but I try, and my friend told me this.

Rabiah Coon:

She said she does defensive calendaring and you know how

Rabiah Coon:

Americans talk funny anyways.

Rabiah Coon:

So now we're but the idea, and I guess you would call it di diarying

Rabiah Coon:

I don't know.

Rabiah Coon:

That doesn't really flow.

Rabiah Coon:

So maybe you guys should change things to calendar, but basically the idea is that

Rabiah Coon:

she'll just block time in her calendar where no one can book anything and it,

Rabiah Coon:

nothing can be booked because then it gives her time to do what she needs to do.

Rabiah Coon:

And, you know, I have to do that with my podcast.

Rabiah Coon:

Like I don't wanna record or do comedy every single night, so I block time.

Rabiah Coon:

So then it gives me time and then I can say, yeah, alright,

Rabiah Coon:

what do I have to get done today?

Rabiah Coon:

And I get those things done.

Rabiah Coon:

What would be nice to get done and what can wait.

Rabiah Coon:

And I just kind of try to organize things that way, do admin for 15 minutes

Rabiah Coon:

and just get it knocked out versus try to write and do admin and watch

Rabiah Coon:

TV and do this all at the same time.

Rabiah Coon:

And I, I get my mind works that way, where I think of all the five

Rabiah Coon:

things I need to do, but it's like, all right, no focus on one for this

Rabiah Coon:

amount of time and get it done.

Rabiah Coon:

And that's been helpful, but it's hard.

Rabiah Coon:

It's really hard.

Rabiah Coon:

And people they're being business people and being creative.

Rabiah Coon:

And it would be nice if we could all have an admin to do this stuff for us.

Rabiah Coon:

Honestly, I wish I could have an admin do my work.

Claire Waite-Brown:

So tell me about your podcast.

Rabiah Coon:

Yes.

Rabiah Coon:

And you're a guest on my podcast.

Rabiah Coon:

It was a fun episode, but yeah, my podcast it's called More Than Work and this isn't

Rabiah Coon:

the first time I podcasted, I interviewed bands about 15 years ago and that was

Rabiah Coon:

cool, but we didn't know how to monetize.

Rabiah Coon:

So Marc Maron won that battle, but my podcast now I'm passionate about

Rabiah Coon:

kind of like you like sharing other people's stories to help others really.

Rabiah Coon:

Service is something I'm passionate about.

Rabiah Coon:

And one, one way I see people not serving themselves is just by making

Rabiah Coon:

their whole self worth based on their job and their job title and

Rabiah Coon:

working at kind of a, a startup that grew really fast in my twenties.

Rabiah Coon:

I saw it happen in myself and to my friends over time where we thought we

Rabiah Coon:

actually, we were really good at our jobs.

Rabiah Coon:

We thought we were nothing.

Rabiah Coon:

If we didn't have those.

Rabiah Coon:

And we were nothing.

Rabiah Coon:

If we didn't work the crazy hours and we were nothing, if we.

Rabiah Coon:

Had to leave the job and go somewhere else.

Rabiah Coon:

And it got really tiring.

Rabiah Coon:

Seeing people go through that and going through it myself and not seeing myself

Rabiah Coon:

as a full person outside of work.

Rabiah Coon:

And so I developed a podcast or produced it, I guess, to kind of

Rabiah Coon:

tell the stories of people who either found work that's meaningful.

Rabiah Coon:

That's kind of representing their values too.

Rabiah Coon:

Like people working nonprofits and stuff often it's reflecting

Rabiah Coon:

their values as a person.

Rabiah Coon:

but then also people will find things outside of work.

Rabiah Coon:

So creative things are otherwise like, and just talk to them.

Rabiah Coon:

And it's been really, I don't know, it's been so great.

Rabiah Coon:

I learn so much every time.

Rabiah Coon:

And then like you, I edit my own thing.

Rabiah Coon:

And so I listen to it again and, and learn so much and get so much out of it.

Rabiah Coon:

And it's just been really awesome to have so many people

Rabiah Coon:

willing, be willing to talk to.

Rabiah Coon:

Yeah.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Yeah.

Claire Waite-Brown:

It's really sociable.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Isn't it?

Claire Waite-Brown:

I love talking to meeting people and hearing their

Claire Waite-Brown:

stories and having a good chat.

Claire Waite-Brown:

What's your podcast called?

Rabiah Coon:

More than work podcast.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Yeah.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Brilliant and Rabiah, generally, how can people contact you?

Rabiah Coon:

Yeah, you can find me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn.

Rabiah Coon:

TikTok, which the TikToks are really boring that I do.

Rabiah Coon:

I don't do funny ones.

Rabiah Coon:

I just post my podcast there but yeah.

Rabiah Coon:

And it's rabiahcomedy or morethanworkpod or rabiahc in any of those places.

Rabiah Coon:

So I'm pretty Googleable as one might say, if they're, again, making up words.

Rabiah Coon:

Yeah.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Like the Americans do, we'll just make up a new word for it.

Rabiah Coon:

Yeah.

Rabiah Coon:

new word.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Oh, that's brilliant.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Thank you so much, raver.

Claire Waite-Brown:

That's been absolutely superb.

Rabiah Coon:

Cool.

Rabiah Coon:

Thank you.

Rabiah Coon:

Thanks for having me on.

Claire Waite-Brown:

You're welcome.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Creativity found is an Open Stage Arts production.

Claire Waite-Brown:

If you are listening on Apple podcasts, please subscribe, rate, and review.

Claire Waite-Brown:

If you would like to contribute to future episode.

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Visit Ko, hyphen FI dot com slash creativity found podcast.

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If you contact any of the artists featured sign up to their workshops

Claire Waite-Brown:

or by their products, don't forget to mention creativity found

Claire Waite-Brown:

podcast on Instagram or Facebook.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Follow at Creativity Found Podcast where you'll find photos of our

Claire Waite-Brown:

contributors artwork and be kept abreast of everything we are up to.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Thanks for listening.

Claire Waite-Brown:

You can learn more about the guest and what was talked about in the show notes.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Joe Maffia created the music you're listening to.

Claire Waite-Brown:

You can find him on Spotify at Joe M A F F I A.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Rob Metke does all the design for which I am so grateful.

Claire Waite-Brown:

You can find him online by searching Rob M E T K E.

Claire Waite-Brown:

Please leave a review if you like the show and get in touch if you

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have feedback or guest ideas.

Claire Waite-Brown:

The pod is on all the social channels at, at more than work pod

Claire Waite-Brown:

(@morethanworkpod) or at Rabiah comedy (@rabiahcomedy) on TikTok.

Claire Waite-Brown:

And the website is more than work pod dot com (morethanworkpod.com).

Claire Waite-Brown:

While being kind to others, don't forget to be kind to yourself.

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