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How Hard Work Will Not Make You Successful
Episode 4816th August 2022 • Captivate & Close • Kinsey Machos
00:00:00 00:28:46

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If you’ve relied on “working hard” to get where you are today, growing to the next level of business will require you to let go of this mentality, especially if you are trying to build a business that doesn’t require more of your time each week. 

Listen to this episode as Kinsey and Jenny discuss the mistakes female entrepreneurs commonly make when growing their coaching business and what happens when you start to create success outside of the common belief: ‘If I just work a little harder, I know I’ll be more successful.’

To get more info on how to work with us inside Female Founders Board where you learn how to grow from 6 to 7-figures, email hello@kinseymachos.com 

Do not miss these highlights:  

04:55 You're successful if you create those neural pathways around working hard in some capacity, and still generating good results.

06:01 To be successful is understanding how hard work is sabotaging you, self awareness is key. 

07:25 Your biggest vulnerability at this point is the entitlement, assuming that you already know it all. 

09:05 The difference that we can make is how we're showing up to each action, and not to retreat backward.  

09:47 What am I trying to protect myself from learning, or knowing, is sabotaging the very success that I'm after. 

10:16 Having the belief, and the permission inside you to come out and reach those next levels.  

11:03 Stepping into your power where this just naturally happens. It's inevitable. 

11:20 Manifesting the extremes, "I'm just going to sit back," or the opposite extreme that is "I'm just  gonna work hard my way to success."

12:00 Another discovery process, are we staying right in that middle ground, or are we really allowing ourselves to create more success?  

13:14 What are some indicator that shows you are solely forward-focused, and you're not in the present.  

13:42 Metaphor of monkey bars. To swing your arm to that next monkey bar, you have to let go of the last one.  

14:38 The biggest thing you can do to alleviate not getting very far because you haven't let go, is to just have awareness. 

16:15 Handling perspectives of time and energy spent. What things do you allow into your mind, your heart, and your soul, make a bigger difference. 

17:21 Working towards that next-level identity. How you show and believe that you get to create those roles. 

18:05 Rules of the version of ourselves that we want to create success that's aligned with how we want to create it. 

19:02 It's not about what you're having or doing that should be shaping how you show up. It's who you want to be that drives how to show up, 

19:09 It's not about letting your circumstances determine what's possible for you. It's you 

stepping into what's possible for you, and then creating the circumstances from there. 

12:42 If we already exist in this kind of peace and presence that we desire, that is actually where success is born. 

22:20 Experiencing ourselves out wanting to work on stuff is such a beautiful way to just observe yourself. That is where actual ultimate creativity is born.  

22:40 You think you know, what you think you know? And then you don't? 

24:22 When you're in that change, it changes you. The cool thing is that you wake up being different without having to try to be different. 

24:33 Transformational mindset life coaching is important to the next level of your success. 

24:59 Allowing yourself to tap into that massive creativity. Having that accountability to do that with somebody else is what allows you to be different without having to try to be different. 

25:38 Just surrender. It just tells me how to get clients when I'm surrendering.   

26:49 “We're opening doors for a super short time to the female founder's board, which is, for you if you're making that leap, because like we’ve said, it's not just about that next-level strategy. It's about that next-level mindset.”

About the Host

Kinsey Machos, a Marketing Strategist, is also a recovering people pleaser, self-sabotager, and corporate hustler. She helps entrepreneurs create and execute magnetic marketing and build expert brands so that they can get known, seen, and heard online. 

She believes that creating a business that’s 100% in alignment with SELF is one of the most important things that we can do as women — because there’s inner magic that we all have if we commit to an infinite pursuit of discovering (and re-discovering) that. 

As a wife and a mom of three, the family takes priority. And having a business that’s run AROUND her lifestyle is a daily intention of hers. 

https://kinseymachos.com/

Instagram: @kinseymachos

Facebook: @kinsmachos

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Transcripts

Kinsey Machos:

Welcome to captivate and close. I'm Kinsey Machos, business consultant and marketing strategist. And I'm going to show you how to attract and enroll high-paying clients using my breakthrough online marketing strategies, all without having to rely on complicated funnels, disingenuous clickbait, or spammy sales tactics. These are the messaging marketing and selling secrets that virtually no one is talking about. So let's dive in. Welcome back to another episode of captivating close. I have the one the only Jenny Beecher, my ride or die here with me today. Jenny say, Hey, hi, everybody.

Jenny Beecher:

I'm so excited to be back. I freaking love doing these podcasts with you. Why haven't you here? It's such an honor and so much fun.

Kinsey Machos:

It's so much fun. I feel like Jenny and I have too much fun. We just like every time we give a live training or whatever, just like what like is this what we get paid to do?

Jenny Beecher:

Sometimes I forget your other people watching and listening. I know, a lot of problems of the world. Wow. At a time,

Kinsey Machos:

male domination. Okay, so we have a really fun conversation for you all today. And we have some things to unpack. And it's super, it's super timely, not just for us. But I know a lot of our clients are going through the going through a lot of these issues and challenges that we're going to talk about today. But I think too is like being like bringing the vulnerability around the fact that this is something that we have intentionally, really had to work through. Because of the depth of what this covers, because ultimately, if you don't learn how to work less, and scrub out this idea that I have to work harder to make more money, you will die. Not die, okay, like that was super morbid, but truly like a lot. I mean, what would be the worst thing after death is like, of like hating your life hating your business being so tired. That you you don't even you know, you don't even have the energy for your family, which by the way, all of us went into entrepreneurship to experience freedom. And yet we're seeing time and time again, that this your business becomes your life. And your personal life is sort of like the hobby. And we just kind of flip those. And we've really been able to pick up these, we're just seeing this more. So for the women that are growing from six to seven figures. And because we have actively had to go through this, and I think it's an infinite process. And Jimmy can talk about this. But if you are somebody that generally has known to be a high achiever, you have really great work ethic, you've had, you know, a lot of success. What you have to know is like what got you here, won't won't get you there. And I know you guys have heard this, but truly, and we know this from personal experiences, like you will not have a business you love that brings you joy that brings you freedom, if you think that working hard will get you to seven, multiple seven figures that we wanted to bring that combo here today.

Jenny Beecher:

Yeah. And I think you nailed it when you were saying, you know, will we die? And I think we joke and we're like it was more of it is that we don't really think that but psychologically, it does come down to the survivability factor that internally and this is what successful women especially really like to think that they're above, but you're not. We're not. It is internally there is something in you that saying if I don't work hard, nothing will work. You can you can work your way around that yeah, unless you really dive in and unlock some of this stuff with some really deep coaching right this isn't something that you're just going to be able to wake up and say I decided to not work hard because when you were younger you created right this world around working hard in some capacity and that generating a result and so when you don't have any other experience that you have survived I'm air quoting that showing you that Oh, I rested I took care of myself and I put my business down for two days right actually went on vacation and was on vacation, right? Didn't take my laptop and like check in on Slack the whole time. Like when you do that and you're still successful until you create those neural halfways Yeah, it can feel sort of like, die if I, like I understand working hard isn't really something that I always have to do. But for me, I kind of do. And, you know, we also, there's an adrenaline rush, I can see, I know you and I say, we'd love to work hard, it is really fun to work my ass off, I will tell you that even when I was in my 20s, doing, I worked with horses for a long time, I loved at the end of the day, knowing that I was completely depleted, I would constantly take on too much. Because number one, look at me nailing it, look at me being better than everybody is not working this hard. Look at me making more money, like all of that validation. But I also loved how it felt in my body. So I was altra wired to work hard. But now I've got kids, I've got a farm, I've got a marriage, I've got business, I've got a whole bunch of like, I've got myself, right, we kind of leave ourselves out of that. I don't get to just run around working my ass off with no consequence, if I neglect all those other things. And so to be a successful woman to really take that to that next level, to where you're actually understanding how hard work is sabotaging you, that is a huge key, a huge component to that next level of success. And I think that there's still a piece of most women in the back of their mind, they're like, I totally get that. I'm just gonna finish working hard on all this stuff that I do now. And when I get to a certain point, and I'll totally do what you're saying. I think self-awareness is key.

Kinsey Machos:

Oh, one hundred percent. And I think you hit I think this, this idea that if you guys are listening, and you're resonating with this, especially if you are, you know, maybe you're close to one hundred k, or you're making that leap from six to seven figures, you probably have, right, a certain set of wisdom and knowledge that you gained. And if you're like me, you you sort of like assume that you already know it. And I'm like, I'm totally at fault of this. I told Jenny, I went into my mindset call, or my mindset coaching call, already, I could feel my brain being like, Oh, what is she like this, like what she's gonna say to me right now, I've already heard I already know this. And of course, like I caught it right away. But what I really want you guys to stay like to kind of be come aware of is when you find yourself saying those things, because that is ultimately your biggest vulnerability at this point. Because you have had success, right? And so there's this sort of like entitlement to not just more success, but also already knowing it all. And by the way, we all only have like no, like a sliver sliver of a fraction of a fraction of anything anyway, right in the context of the grant in the context of the big picture. But I went into this call, kind of like already could feel those thoughts pop up? And what that did, if I continue to come into that with those same thoughts, right, it would hinder me from having the experience that I had. And ultimately, it's it all comes back to this idea that it always, always goes back to your thoughts. It always goes back to your mindset. And if you ever believe that you just need a better strategy. Or you need a better landing page, or you need a better challenge, or you're gonna need a better whatever, like, you have, you have a hole to fill there. And so I think this is where, especially women that are over one hundred k, like, you know, that's where they're most vulnerable is because it's like, well, I could just continue doing what I'm doing, and just work a little bit harder at it, because I already know it. All. Right.

Jenny Beecher:

Yeah. And I think there's so much that comes into play, because you you see that it worked. And I think that you know, as we work with clients, too, you can see it happen like but this is working and then they start to overthink in the wrong direction. Right? Instead of really going with what they know or looking at okay, how am I showing up right? Because the biggest difference that we can make this is not in what we're doing but how we're showing up to each action and instead of you see women almost search a retreat backwards because it's like oh, if I just run farther faster with everything that I'm doing now and keep sacrificing like I have sacrificed in essence this math equation should equal me getting more faster but it's really very backwards. But I love this topic like you have said Kinsey of when you said that you know you like the mindset like I kind of know this like we we do and I think every woman listening to this right now does know herself really well but that self-awareness to also say me saying that I know this like what am I trying to protect myself from seeing in this conversation? What am I trying to protect myself from learning or knowing and how am I keeping myself you know, keeping my Elon blinders on. And in a way that's actually sabotaging the very success that I'm after. And it takes really just holding that space. And I think that this is why what we do is so different and some special because, yeah, we can give you all the strategy in the world we do. But you can't without having the belief. And the permission really, truly inside you is that permission that you have to have coming out to reach those next levels, you'll just always work your ass off and still feel a day late and 1 dollar short. And we don't want that for women. Because, you know, we always say we believe when a woman steps into her power, the world changes. But if the woman takes the power and tries to hold on to it with her hands, and it's burning her and she's in raged at half the time or exhausted, that's not the kind of world change you're after. That's not the business grafter, that's not the lifestyle is a mother or wife that you're after. And so you're really challenging yourself, say, Do you have the power? And you're afraid of losing it? Or are you stepping into your power where this just naturally happens? It's inevitable. And I don't have to be on twenty-five hours a frickin day in order to manifest and make these things happen?

Kinsey Machos:

Yeah, oh, it's so good. And I think there's two in speaking of manifesting there, there really is sort of these, these extremes, right, it's like, I'm just going to sit back and I'm going to manifest my way through success. And things, you know, good things will just happened me if I just sit here and think it. And then the other extreme is just I'm gonna work my way to success, right? And the harder I work, the more successful I get. And so it ultimately is, like that sweet spot in the middle. And that's hard. And I and I don't think you ever find it and like, settle into it, I think it is because it's, it's almost like that Infinite Journey of, because you will, as you evolve as your business evolves, that sweet spot will ebb and flow. And so it really is another discovery process for us to go on to make sure are we staying right in that middle ground of really allowing ourselves to create more success? Being who we already are, and without feeling like need to do more. But what are some indicators? Jenny, would you say when it comes to really making the leap from six to seven figures and, and for those of you that don't know, Jenny, and I work together with our claims on both strategy and mindset, and Jenny's zone is really the mindset piece and helping you really see not just, like, unlock your beret, like, uncover ultimately what your unique barriers are. Because at the end of the day, we all have a similar theme at play when it comes to self sabotage and, and what's ultimately going to keep us from having success. But it's always nuanced, right, based on, you know, your, your lens, the lens that you're viewing, through, you know, seeing the world. But what would you say are like, for somebody that isn't aware yet that they're just trained to rely on working harder to create success? What are some indicators of that that you see?

Jenny Beecher:

Yeah, I think one of the biggest things that we see is everybody's very forward focused, successful people are you have to be, but when you are solely forward focused, and you're not in the present, and able to take that time to kind of scope out and see what you might be bringing from your past into that future. That is actually something that slows you down. So we'll see a lot of people I like to use the metaphor of monkey bars, right? So success is Monkey Bars. In order to swing your arm to that next monkey bar, you have to let go of the last one, right? And then it's a big scoop to the next one, we'll see a lot of women that are like, yes, that I have to hold on to these routines, and things and habits and mindsets and thoughts and friend groups and social circles and whatever, for whatever reason, they don't want to let go. You can think of which one of those just resonated with you everybody listening and pick out, you know, what's standing out to you and what your reason is that you can't like, oh, but but those are ultimately the themes. Because if you have that hand closer on that you don't have it open for the success on the other side. And what you're doing is you're hanging there, which byli monkeys are monkey bars are very hard as an adult, I don't know, if you've tried to hurt your shoulders. I have much heavier than I was when I was nine. And so so you're hanging there, so it's painful. And you're hanging there and you can see the end of the monkey bars and you're like, Oh, you're like trying to reach out with your feet and doing all these things, and ultimately not getting very far because you haven't let go. So I think that is the biggest thing and and what a woman can do to alleviate that is to just have awareness, I think, really ambitious high achieving women. We want to get to work on stuff, right? And the way that I that I've challenged people the most is to not work on stuff. What would it look like to just have awareness over this issue? When I say not letting go of things, your next iteration of success requires the next iteration of view. So everything from how you're waking up in the morning to how you're dressing to how you see yourself to what you're choosing to put in your body, these things, these choices, the tiny subliminal messages that you're giving yourself with each of those choices, changes throughout each level of your journey to success. So for example, when I started entrepreneurship, I had no clue. You know, I had zero, I hadn't had any health or fitness training or anything like that. And so my idea of breakfast was like, sugary cereal loaded with milk. And then I would eat like half of a pizza for dinner and drink half a bottle of wine, because that's where I was at, and in my life, now, none of that goes into my body. And it's not because I have willpower, but just who I am now can't operate with that type of system. And of course, that's a very obvious example, that you can think about that and who you're hanging out with, how many of you guys have friends, or maybe it's where you're going to church, or even your family of origin, you guys, this is a big one for me, really handling perspectives there, and time and energy spent, and allowing what things you allow into your mind, your heart and your soul, as far as truth and reality. And that makes such a bigger difference. Because you know, what you need to know to get to the next level, right? And you know, that when you partner with amazing mentors, coaches, you get the trait, you know, you'll do it. But in order to do it more quickly, you do have to be able to let go of what's holding

Kinsey Machos:

you back. Yeah, I love that. And I think to it, it similarily and just said differently, I think is like growing into the identity of that version of you, which, like you said, means letting go of old identity patterns. And, and I think that's why identity, I think is like an evolving process, right? Because as if you are just getting started, right? Your identity at the time might have been, you know, just, you know, a solopreneur you know, just kind of like dabbling in clients, but you were reaching for maybe that one hundred k identity, but then you've reached it right? So now you have it's like working towards that next level identity and like, what, how would she be showing that, but then also believing that believing that you get to create those roles. And I think this goes ties back to working harder. So if you think about the seven figure identity of you, and there's sort of this attachment of like she's working 40 hours a week, that's your like, that's on you, if you have decided that that seven figure self is, you know, working 40 hours a week or 50 hours a week, then that's how you will evolve. And that's what you'll step into. And I think this, it's like giving yourself permission and ourselves permission to define the rules of the version of ourselves that we want to create in order to create the success that's aligned with how we want to create it. So I think that this is this is so huge journey, and I think it is sort of a, I think it's so hard because like it's not cookie cutter, it's not like, if you're doing this, it means this. And if you want to go to the next level, then it's x, y, z. And this is why it's so important to you know, like Jenny said, get a mentor and work with someone that can kind of start unpacking this for you. But also know that the work is not ever done. And I had this realization when I had my mind set called the other day. And again, I came with sort of the lens of like, I already know this, but you know, I allowed myself to be open. And she helped me do this exercise. And you know, I have always been you, Jenny and I always coach on we do have right? It's not about what you're having or doing that should be shaping how you show up. It's who you want to be that drives how to show up, right? It's not about letting your circumstances determine, right, what's possible for you, it's you stepping into what's possible for you, and then creating the circumstances from there. So I've under always understood being versus doing. But what was so fascinating is in I've been living in the context of the beam being in the future, and you said this earlier, and my mindset coach had me do this exercise and she's like, because I came with the same questions right? It's like, I can't get this I want to scrub more of this work ethic out of me. And that because that ultimately right now, you guys that's the game I'm playing. It's like I really want to yes, we've like especially this summer has been such a blessing because it's been Fruit, we have been working less and her business has continued to exponentially grow. And so it's evidence to my brain that yeah, you can work less and still grow. But there's still I can feel this inside of me and it still needs to continue to like get out is like working harder, because my default is always to go fix. Right? If something's not Yeah, so. So she hadn't do that. She was like, so that's what I came to the the call with. But she's like, well, how often are you just being, like, being I'm like, and of course I go, Well, I'm like, I'm all I always like, I always living in that version of myself, you know, one year, two years, or whatever I want to be. And then I went down, oh, my gosh. And if I could have just caught myself, I was like, I am working on my sleep. I feed I am eating all the right things. I exercise, and she's like, No, no, like, how often are you just being like, Oh, well, I don't know.

Jenny Beecher:

It's so hard. I know, even meditating. It's very, I have to listen to a track and ten minutes is a challenge for me. But it's so powerful to do. And I think that if that's okay, that doesn't make me bad, you know, add to it, the important thing is that we sit down and do it, and giving ourselves that space and time. And I love that you said that about like, we have to scrub this out of us because sometimes even that we're like, we want to get to work on that like, but we are like most perfect existence is already in us this kind of peace and presence that we desire. And that is actually where success is born. And so yes, sometimes we're in that hustle, we get to go we get the adrenaline of things. But what if how we were today was exactly how we needed to be in order to be that seven figure earner, that eight figure earner be on the stages, have the books be on the shows whatever your dream is, right? What if all that took was just sitting in that and I think, you know, what, what we find is, is even though we have all the reasons to to keep working to get more things done to wait till something, you know that it's quiet or whatever to, to be with ourselves, even in those moments, experiencing ourselves just sort of like freaking out wanting to work on stuff is such a beautiful way to just observe yourself. And that is where actual ultimate creativity is born. And that permission like we talked about to move forward. Because you realize like, Oh, I got this. Yeah.

Kinsey Machos:

Yeah. And I don't know, I you think, you know, again, this is just proof that like, you think you know, what you think you know? And then you don't? And also, like, how deep how much more deeper? Can you go in this regard. And she so to circle the wagon on this, she, um, she's like, let's do an exercise right now. So she had me, she basically guided me through meditation, but most she wasn't talking a lot. And she made me sit there with her for what felt like years. And I even circled back to Jenny later. And I was like, oh my god, I thought I was gonna die. I was. So if I could have just seen myself on video, I couldn't stop fidgeting. I was in pain just sitting there doing nothing. And I realized that that is ultimately the the I think the challenge that we all feel is high achieving women that are the were the bat. I mean, we don't wear it with honor. But we are we're very busy women with kids and marriage and all thing, all the things but like, it's not necessarily honorable if it's, you know, at the sacrifice of your own well being. And I couldn't believe how painful that experience was, because I'll do guided meditations. But I'll pick the ones that are like less than five minutes. Yeah, and so but I was like sweating, I felt sick to my stomach. So I think it was because they're

Jenny Beecher:

holding you accountable for too. And this is what's so powerful. You'll have people listening, maybe like, okay, cool, I'm gonna go sit in the chair. But when you are in a situation where somebody is like there and holding space for your energy, and this is it, this is what it is. And like you're invested in it, when you're in that like that change, it changes you. And that's the cool thing because you wake up being different without having to try to be different. And I think ultimately when we're talking about mindset mastery, when we're talking about coaching and really that transformational mindset life coaching that is important to the next level of your success. It truly is I don't think you can really experience fulfilling success fulfilling sustainable success without it past six, seven figures really at any level of growth, but especially in those phases. In order if you don't do that So when you do that, I should say is when you're really allowing yourself to tap into that massive creativity. And I think it having that accountability to do that with somebody else is what really allows you, like I said to be different without having to try to be different. And that is when you create success, because you're not trying hard anymore. You're just doing it. And I think that's what we're all after.

Kinsey Machos:

Yes. And that is ultimately that leap from six to seven figures, your it, it will feel like you need to work harder and, and even are saying, it's about you know, being in the beam scrubbing the working harder out of you and surrendering. And I know your brains, your brains are always going but how, what how, right, but if I just surrender, what does that look like it tell me how to do that tell me how to get clients when I'm surrendering or meditating. And like, that's, that is that's the doing? Right? The how trying to figure out the how is the doing? And like going right back to the beam. And that is the ultimate, that's the ultimate game and making that big leap. Because if you don't, you will burn yourself to the ground, for sure it and we're seeing a lot. And we can also see the people that are just trying harder and harder and harder. You can see it in in their, you know, their content. Right there. Their their strategy is just like the white knuckling and that's just suppressing that truest form, like that truce brilliance within. And that's not what we want for you.

Jenny Beecher:

No, no, this is so good. This is good. I know, everybody wants the how sometimes and the what, but and this is this is the real juice. This is the real juice. I love this topic.

Kinsey Machos:

Oh, good. Well, and I know we'll just wrap it up here. I think this is definitely you know, top of mind for us, because we're opening doors for super short time to female founders board, which is, you know, for you if you're making that leap, because like we said, it's not just about that next level strategy. It's about that next level mindset. And it might You might already be thinking like, why did he know that? I don't need that. Well, you probably are the one that needs most. I'm just kidding. But that it really, why it's so important to us is because we know what it's like to be women that have other demands other priorities. And the business is not all and and the only thing and it's about fitting you know your business into the vision that you have for your life. And to be able to do that, right? It has it starts with the mind. And so there's a link in the show notes for you guys to inquire about that experience. But Jenny, thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much.

Jenny Beecher:

I love doing this.

Kinsey Machos:

I know this is so good. What do you hear soon? This is so good. All right, guys. Have a really great week. And we'll see you next time. Hey, you, thank you so much for listening. It's an honor to be able to pour into the hearts and minds of like minded entrepreneurs all over the world. But my most favorite part is being able to connect with you in real life. If you love what you heard here, head over to the community where Thousands of female CEOs just like you are changing the world one human at a time. We go deeper into the topics you discuss here and give away tangible roadmaps to help you crush your revenue goals to join this high caliber free community head over to https://kinseymachos.com/community. see you there

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