Struggling with procrastination, overthinking, anxiety, or lack of motivation? This episode is a deep dive into mindset mastery, nervous system regulation, and overcoming self-sabotage so you can take consistent action and grow your business with confidence.

Our returning guest, Nell Bauduin, and I break down how your nervous system, inner dialogue, and subconscious beliefs directly affect your productivity, emotional regulation, decision-making, and success. If you’ve been dealing with imposter syndrome, perfectionism, fear of judgment, or avoidance, this episode gives you practical tools to rewire your thinking and unlock high performance.

At the centre of this conversation is the Inner Voice Triangle—your inner child, inner critic, and inner wisdom—and how these internal voices shape your identity, confidence, and ability to execute. Learn how to shift from self-doubt and overthinking into clarity, self-trust, and aligned action.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How to stop procrastination and build consistent habits
• Proven nervous system regulation techniques to reduce stress, anxiety, and overwhelm
• How to overcome self-sabotage, limiting beliefs, and negative self-talk
• Strategies to beat imposter syndrome and fear of failure
• How to reprogram your subconscious mind and shift your identity
• Tools for confidence building, mental clarity, and emotional resilience
• How to move from overthinking to action-taking and execution
• A powerful 4-step mindset reset method you can use in real time

This episode is perfect for entrepreneurs, coaches, creators, and business owners who want to improve productivity, discipline, focus, and performance while mastering their mindset and emotions.

If you’re into self-improvement, personal development, psychology, business growth, mindset coaching, mental health, and peak performance, this episode will help you eliminate mental blocks and start taking aligned, confident action.

I always say that the way your life looks, the way your business looks is an example or a mirror of who you are.

So it reflects what is going on in your inside world.

And that's where I help people with.

Now doing business or building your business is personal development times hundreds.

So it's really a deep dive into your personal development.

That's why I came across this idea.

So what I basically do is I coach people online like we are doing now with Zoom Calls.

But I also have built a program for them to do it self paced, it's with audio, it's with podcasts, exclusive podcasts.

Exercises reflect questions that reflect the inner world of the people.

And it's basically the same.

Yes, but I'm focusing on other topics now.

Like what, for example?

Like people are very scared to be seen online, for example.

Like it's, it's difficult for, for a lot of people to become visible, to expose themselves or to expand into more visibility or more wealth or.

And it's, it all gets down to the nervous system and sometimes the nervous system keeps them stuck.

So if you learn to regulate your nervous system while you're expanding, you will find a way that is going to take you much faster to your goals because you're not sabotaging, sabotaging yourself during the way.

And that's where I focus on basically self sabotage.

Yes.

Because your nervous system exists in three, three parts.

It's like your inner child, your inner critic and your inner wisdom.

And if these three are not working together there this is going, it's going to be very chaotic.

So they need to learn.

Now again, what do I need to say again?

What are those three things?

Inner child, inner critic and the inner wisdom.

Mad, right?

Expand.

Explain what those three things are.

So the inner child is the voice, the part of yourself that wants to keep you safe.

Like if you are doing some new things or you want to do new things, this is the part that is going to keep you away from it.

Because it's new, because it's, it don't know the outcome of what you're going to try yet.

So it wants to keep you safe, it wants to keep you unseen because it's known that way.

It's a very emotional part of yourself.

It's like the female part of yourself because feminine energy is in large amounts, is very chaotic.

It's very passive and doesn't want to do much.

So that's basically the inner child.

The inner Kritik is the, the opposite of this.

It's like it's the Part that pushes you through everything.

So it wants to prove something, it wants to push you towards your goals.

And these two, if they are competing together, it's very difficult because you're constantly switching between how you feel and moving back and forth, forward.

It's like putting the gas pedal while you're putting the brakes.

And if you can go towards your inner wisdom, this voice is like basically the.

How do you say it in English?

The people person that stands between two.

Mediator.

Yeah, could be the mediator.

Yeah, indeed.

It could be the parent.

Like it could be the parent for these two children that are fighting so that you can move through the, the difficult things to.

Towards your goals.

And that's these, these three are basically your nervous system because everything that it's.

That is in your head also reflects what is going on in your body.

So if these three work together, you can find a way towards your goals.

Is there a correct balance of having which one?

You cannot push any of them away.

You cannot push away your inner child or your inner critic because they are necessary at some time, at some point in your life because they need to be alarmed if something goes wrong.

And these two will provide for that.

The goal is to live mostly from your inner wisdom because this voice is coming with calmness, with grounded.

Yeah, it's, it's a very grounded voice in your head.

Like it just knows what you need to do and it, it just keeps you calm.

And is that you think that's related to the nervous system?

Yes.

Yes.

Because everything, that's every sentence that you are telling yourself in your head, like every thought in your head is connected with what's going on in your body.

So these two are connected with each other.

So if you, if you can feel something in your body, it's.

It's probably something that's also in your head and the other way around.

And do you encounter a lot of people who have a inner child?

The inner child is the emotional one, is that right?

Yes.

Is that the one that's often causes the most trouble for people?

It depends, because some people are mostly in their, in their inner child.

And you can tell that by.

If they're passive, like they, they don't take action or they procrastinate, they're just staying in their safe zone.

But people who are very likely to push towards their goals are mostly in the inner critic.

So a lot of entrepreneurs are living in their inner critic because they push through everything.

They, they don't stop enough if it's forced.

They just keep going.

And what you can tell is that if one of the two.

So the inner critic or the inner child is in your head or is loud in your head, the other one is also there because they mostly talk to each other.

These are the two that are in conflict in your head because if your inner child has anxiety towards something, the inner critic has something to say about that because this is the voice that wants to push through.

But the inner child is scared.

And if, if you react to that with more push, the inner, inner child becomes more scared.

So you are in a loop of these thoughts.

And again, it's like living with the gas and the, the break at the same time.

Do you.

Have you heard of the Freudian ideas of the ID ego and the super ego?

No, I don't think so.

Okay, so Freud had.

In the same way that Jung had like his slightly different.

But anyway, Freud had his assessment of the psyche and one of the sort of parameters was the id, the ego and the super ego.

And the ID is kind of like the inner child.

What you're explaining here in the sense of.

It's not quite actually to be fair, it's slightly different.

But the ID was the more impulsive, more reckless parts of our personality.

And, and then the super as well as other things.

And then the super ego was like this sort of strict overbearing tyrant that kind of told us what to do and punished us, made us punish ourselves, et cetera.

And then the ego.

Not in the same way that we use the term ego in sort of regular everyday life.

It's a different meaning behind the word.

That was like the mediator.

Which is what the word that you asked for.

The middleman between the two.

When you're just aspects of that remind me a bit of that sort of.

Yeah, I also always say that, that model.

Yeah, the other.

So I, I made it, I made a triangle out of it.

So it's called the inner voice triangle.

And the other, the, the parts of us that are on, in the bottom of the triangle are the inner child and the inner critic.

And in my.

I believe that the, these two are the ego.

I always say it like that.

It's also our humanity.

Like it's, it's being human.

The bottom of the triangle.

So if you go to the, the top of the triangle, you are going into your divine self, like your highest potential.

So it's.

It really self actualization style.

Sorry, self actualization sort of type thing.

Yes, Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

Yeah.

Yeah, that makes sense.

So do you, when you coach someone, do you Ask them to identify the triggers and the issues at each different point on the triangle almost.

And be like, what is stopping you here?

What crops up?

What thoughts and feelings crop up here and then here and also here and here.

Yes.

So if they are having a thought or, or.

Or are they of.

If they have difficulties with something, I always ask them what their thoughts are, and then I will define with them which part of the triangle is speaking at that point.

And I also met him, made a method out of it.

It's.

This is called the inner authority method.

Like, there are four steps to go back to the top of the triangle.

The first step is stop.

To stop and to become aware of what is going on or that there is.

There even is something going on.

The second step is to acknowledge the part that is speaking and to name it like, okay, this is my inner child speaking right now.

And also to see it, like, as if it's.

As if it is not you that is speaking.

Like, it's separated from who you are in a way, kind of way.

And so the second step is to acknowledge that this part is talking.

The third step is to regulate yourself.

Like, pointing towards another perspective of how you can look towards what is going on.

For example, you want to record a podcast episode and your inner child is like, I'm going to procrastinate.

How do you say it?

Procrastinate.

Procrastinate.

Yes.

Procrastinate.

Procrastinate.

Yeah.

Pro.

Yes.

I don't want to do it.

It feels heavy.

I don't feel like doing it.

You can stop yourself, like, okay, this is going on.

It feels heavy.

It feels not the right thing to do right now, but who is talking?

Basically, okay, this is my inner child.

How can I regulate this part of me that I can see there is also another side to this.

It's safe to be seen.

Like, you are going to.

To have a conversation with.

A conversation with this part of yourself.

Like, it's safe to be seen.

You can come out.

Or.

Yeah, I.

The.

The sentence that I'm.

I'm using the most is like, it's safe to be seen.

So that's the, the third step.

You regulate yourself into safety.

And the fourth step is to move from the regulated state.

Because when you regulate yourself, you can.

You create space to go back to the top of the triangle, and from that place you can move forward in safety and do this step.

So safety is key.

Yes.

Safety in your body, regulated to be regulated.

I'm just running through a scenario in my head.

I can tell okay, cool.

Okay, yeah, that makes sense.

They're.

They're very.

I think you already said this, but they're very sort of contradictory drives, aren't they, those two things?

So you've got them sort of pulling against each other and they can go wrong in all sorts of different ways.

How should your inner child and your inner critic show up then?

How should they present themselves in a way that is beneficial to you?

So imagine someone had the most ideal inner critic and inner child that was conducive to a really healthy way of being and it supported them and it helped them grow and flourish.

What would that look like?

Do you understand that actually just as they are.

Because if you want to change something about your inner voices, they're just becoming much louder.

So they are perfect the way they are.

Because I told you already that at some point you're going to need them.

It's.

But the thing is that most people haven't developed their inner wisdom enough because this is the part that you learned to push away when you grew up.

A lot of people that, for example, your parents or your school teachers have declined your inner wisdom.

They have told you that it's not worth to listen to this inner wisdom because as a child you can mostly see the things in another perspective.

So the inner child and the inner critic are just perfect the way they are.

It's just important that you learn to call back your inner wisdom so they.

This voice can regulate the other too.

Because I see what you mean.

At some point.

Because for example, you are in a relationship that is not good for you.

Your inner child and your inner critic has to be there because otherwise you cannot see that this relationship is not good for you.

But you have the choice to turn it around and give it another perspective through your inner wisdom.

You don't need to lose yourself into your emotions or into.

Become hard towards the other person.

But they need to be there to make you aware of this situation.

Do you understand what I mean?

So it's the responsibility.

You can't.

The goal isn't to meddle or to intervene with the two at the bottom of the pyramid.

It's to try and improve the effectiveness of the top of the bit of the pyramid.

What you mean.

Yes, because that's where the.

The not load and the growth can be had.

Okay, I get what you mean.

Right.

So what, what do you call that?

The inner voice tri triad.

The inner voice triangle.

Because it's a triangle.

Okay.

Triangle.

Yeah.

Okay.

I'm talking a lot about procrastina.

Procrastination Now I need to learn to pronounce them.

Can you help me with my procrastination, please?

Yes, I can.

Right.

How do you help her?

I'm talking a lot, a lot of debt about that.

But like I told you, I'm also talking a lot about the nervous system.

Like the thoughts in our minds, how you can build towards your life, towards your dreams.

That's where I talk about.

Because if you master the skill of your inner leadership, like the inner authority, you can build towards everything.

That's where I think most of people have this.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's good.

Do you think lots of people have dysregulated nervous systems nowadays?

Yes.

Do you know that you do?

Okay.

Yeah.

Why?

Because every.

Everyone is very chaotic.

Like if you.

If you just are driving in your car, you.

You pass by at least five people that are angry in the, in the traffic can.

And also like I told you, you can feel it in the energy.

If the energy is very low or heavy, it means that people are das regulated because they are just living in their heads, in their negative thoughts.

Like, this is how I see the world.

This is how I see myself.

And it's.

It's all so bad and I don't like it and I hate my life.

And that's also being dysregulated because you cannot.

Do you ever do that?

Of course I do.

Because my inner critic and my inner child are still there.

But I know how to regulate myself and I know how to turn around the perspective and see the other things.

Also because you can always be grateful.

Grateful for something.

Even if it's just that you have a bottle of water beside you.

Most people, yeah, most people think or forget that we actually always live in about abundance.

Because I was visiting.

This is abundance.

And, and a lot of people forget.

Sorry, the chocolate.

Yes, indeed.

And a lot of people forget about that.

Also when you go to, to drink coffee somewhere, you also get like chocolate indeed, with your coffee or.

I don't know, that's.

It's.

That's also abundance.

And a lot of people seem to forget this and are very focused on what's not right or what is not going well.

And if you focus on what is not going well or that things that you don't want, you are going to get more of what you don't want, if that is the focus point.

So do you think that's actually true?

What?

Do you think it's actually true that if you focus on bad things more, you get more bad things?

Yes.

Or do you Just think.

You just.

You do.

Why do you think it's true?

Not necessary because you get more bad things, but because your brain is constantly searching for to be right.

And if you tell yourself this is a bad thing, this is a bad thing, and everything is bad, yeah, your brain is going to search for everything that is bad.

Because that's what you believe doesn't mean that there are extra bad things coming into your life because you believe it, but your brain is searching for them.

And if you are going to start searching for good things in your life, your brain is after one or two months or three months, going to search for good things more.

And that's the shift that a lot of people have to make.

But it has to become something that is connected with your identity.

And a lot of people are having trouble with turning around or becoming someone else.

Like they don't want to lose their identity.

That's also a big part of my work.

I teach people to step into another identity because a lot of people are very attached of the way they are thinking the way that they are.

So they take away the opportunity to grow and to see more of the good and working towards the good.

Do you understand?

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah, I understand.

So if, if it's.

It's a part of you, It's a.

If a part of you.

No, it's a part of you.

If you are very negative, if you are focused on the negative, that's something, that's a piece of your identity.

So this piece has to change into another, another piece of your identity.

And like that you can change your whole identity.

I only ask because I feel like it's one of those ideas and concepts that we take for we take to be inevitably truthful, that you see more of what you, you attract more.

Not necessarily attract, but you perceive more of what you focus on in life.

So if you focus on negative things, you, but you, you perceive more negative things in turn.

I feel like we reached a point where nobody explains why, but that makes a.

That makes logical sense.

It's the sort of confirmation bias of what it is.

The way that you're.

What it is that you're viewing you.

You confirm what it already is that you're.

You're holding within you.

So that makes sense.

Also a lot of people just tell sometimes, like, that's just the way I am.

Dot.

Do you think that's true?

You think.

I think some people are.

Their brains just are just wired that way.

Unfortunately, yes and no.

Because you always have a choice.

You always have a choice to Become someone else.

But if you don't want to.

Yes, that's who you are.

Yeah.

And you're going to stay the same, but your external world will be also the same.

And it's your choice if you want to change your external, external world.

Is it, Is it right?

External, external, external world.

You want to change this, it's your choice.

But then your internal world has to change first.

And you cannot say that's, oh, I am.

You could try and change your external world and that would hopefully expedite the process of changing your internal world.

As in speed up the process.

But.

Yeah, I get what you mean.

It has to come from within.

It has to be motivated.

Has to.

Not motivated initially, it has to be motivated from.

Yeah.

And like you say, has to be intrinsic.

Intrinsically.

There's, there's a, there's a.

There's two forms of motivation.

There's doing things for you.

Let's do things for other people.

And when people do things primarily for other people, it's a lot more difficult to maintain it.

And it doesn't last as well.

It doesn't last as long and it, yes, dwindles.

Whereas when it's internally, it's a lot more simple.

That's also where the pushing from the inner critic comes from.

You want to prove something and you will not continue doing this because it's not for yourself, it's for other people to prove that you're worthy or to prove that you're good enough.

That's the same thing.

Do you think all that is, all that not feeling good enough links back in with procrastination?

Do you think that is a, A large, A significant factor in why people go procrastinate?

God, you got me doing it now.

Procrastinate.

Yes.

Yes.

Because they feel inappropriate.

Yeah.

Say so.

I'm sorry.

Yes.

Because the inner child also believes it's not good enough.

Yeah.

And if the inner critic is going to agree with this, and it's always, it will always agree with this, then it's going to feel much harder and bigger, like.

And then you become actually not worthy in your mind.

And that's why indeed, people do procrastinate.

How do you help someone procrastinate from their procrastination?

Like I, I said, the inner authority methods.

It's like you name what's going on and you regulate yourself.

Name it.

Yeah.

I don't know what's going into your heads.

Yeah, that's true.

No, you don't, you don't want to know.

No joking.

So you.

You have to, like, eradicate the emotionality from the situation.

Is that right?

Yes.

You have to neutralize your emotions.

Neutralize it.

That's a good way of putting it.

Yeah.

And the way that you do that is by calling it out.

Yes.

And by regulating yourself and talking to yourself and telling yourself that you're safe, that you are worthy to be seen and like, stuff like that.

It.