Q&A5 The Mindset Mistakes That Keep You Stuck

The Mindset Mistakes That Keep You Stuck

Episode Length: 11 minutes | Template: "Mistakes People Make With Frameworks"

Welcome to Q&A Wednesday!

Hey, this is Rick. I’ve been getting tons of questions lately from people who feel like certain mindset strategies just aren’t working for them.

As I looked through them, I started to see a clear pattern emerge. The frameworks themselves—gratitude, visualization, you name it, are solid. The problem is often in how we apply them. We’re all making some really common mistakes in the application that can completely stall our progress.

So today, I’m answering your top questions about these mindset mistakes that keep you stuck. If you've been wondering why that positive thinking exercise feels like a chore or why you keep sliding back into old patterns, this episode is going to clarify exactly what might be going on.

Okay, ready?

QUESTION 1

"I've tried every mindset framework – gratitude journals, visualization, affirmations – but I still emotionally eat. What am I doing wrong?"

This is such a great question because I see this ALL the time. You’ve fallen into a trap I call being a "framework collector."

Here’s what’s happening: You're trying to use every tool at once, and it’s creating total overwhelm for your brain. It's like deciding you want to learn a musical instrument and then trying to practice piano, guitar, and drums all on the same day. You’d end up feeling clumsy with all of them and mastering none.

The fix is to simplify. Pick ONE framework and commit to it for 30 days. Just one. Let's say you choose the "pause before eating" technique, where you stop and ask yourself, "Am I physically hungry, or am I feeling an emotion that I'm trying to soothe?" For one month, make that your only job.

Why 30 days? When you're trying to change a habit, you're essentially carving a new, shallow path in your brain.

At first, your thoughts will naturally want to slide back into the deep, well-worn canyon of the old habit. It takes consistent, focused repetition to deepen that new path until it becomes the default route for your brain to take. You simply haven't been giving any single framework enough time to actually create that change.

I bet if you picked just the pause technique and did it consistently for a full 30 days, you'd see more real progress than you have trying to juggle all those other methods combined.

QUESTION 2

"I tried that mindset stuff for a week and it didn't work. How long should I really expect it to take?"

You just hit on the second common mistake: expecting an instant mindset shift. A week? Oh my, that's like going to the gym once and then wondering why you don't have a six-pack yet!

Here’s the tough-love part of this work: Real, lasting mindset change takes time.

We are literally rewiring decades of ingrained thought patterns. Think about it. You've probably been responding to stress with food for years, maybe even since childhood. Your brain has built superhighways of neural pathways that automatically connect the thought "I'm stressed" to the action "I need to eat something."

Building new pathways requires repetition and patience. Most people give up right around the two- or three-week mark, which is usually when it starts to feel difficult and the initial motivation wears off. That’s precisely when the real work of rewiring is happening.

Here's a more realistic timeline:

Weeks 1-2: It'll feel awkward. You'll forget to do your new practice more often than you remember.

Weeks 3-4: You'll start remembering more consistently, but it might still feel forced or unnatural.

Weeks 5-8: This is where it starts to become more of a habit. The new pathway is getting deeper.

Month 3 and beyond: This is when it can start to feel automatic.

Give yourself at least 30 days of consistent effort as a baseline. But honestly, you should expect to be in this process for 60 to 90 days to see true transformation. Your future self will thank you for having the patience to see it through.

QUESTION 3

"These mindset tools work great when I'm motivated, but the minute I get stressed or busy, I forget everything. Help!"

This is the third mistake—only using these frameworks when you feel good. Practicing when you're calm is a great start, but the real test, the entire purpose of these tools, is to support you when life gets messy.

Many people think the goal is to be perfect with their practice when life is easy.

They might feel like a failure if they can't maintain their new habit when things are calm and predictable. But that’s like only practicing driving your car on a sunny day on an empty road; it doesn't prepare you for a sudden downpour during rush-hour traffic. The real goal is to build a toolkit that you can reliably pull from when everything feels like it's falling apart.

That's when you need these tools the most.

Here's a practical tip: Set phone reminders for your most stressful times of day.

If you know that 3 p.m. is your witching hour at work, set a 2:55 p.m. alarm that says, "Pause and check in with yourself." This external cue can be the bridge that helps you apply the tool in the heat of the moment. That’s when real transformation happens.

QUESTION 4

"I follow all the advice exactly as I read it, but it doesn't seem to fit my situation. What am I missing?"

You're making the fourth mistake, which is failing to personalize the framework. You're taking generic advice and trying to apply it to your very specific life, triggers, and patterns.

Here’s what I mean. Maybe you read an article that says to "practice mindful eating." That's good advice, but it's vague. If your biggest trigger is mindlessly eating a bag of chips while watching Netflix after the kids go to bed, the general advice doesn't directly address YOUR specific scenario.

You need to adapt every framework to your unique emotional eating patterns.

Think of yourself as a detective investigating your own behavior. If your trigger is Sunday night anxiety about the upcoming work week, your mindfulness practice needs to specifically address those Sunday evening emotions, not just a general idea of "mindful eating."

Take any framework and ask yourself: "How can I apply this directly to my biggest trigger? What would this look like in my most challenging moment?"

I bet if you took just one piece of advice and customized it for your specific 8 p.m. Netflix eating pattern, you'd see more progress than you would by following ten generic tips perfectly.

Make it yours. That's where the magic happens.

QUESTION 5

"I know all this stuff intellectually, but I still can't seem to change my behavior. Why?"

This is the big one, mistake number five. It’s about shifting your focus from knowing to doing.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of becoming a mindset scholar.

You can read all the books, listen to all the podcasts, and understand the psychology inside and out.

But if that knowledge never translates into a different choice in the moment, it can become a form of intellectual procrastination. I see people who can quote every mindset expert perfectly, yet they're still stuck in the same emotional eating cycle every night.

So here’s a shift I want you to make. Let's start tracking something different. Let's track actions.

How many times this week did you successfully pause before eating?

How many times did you choose to sit with an emotion instead of feeding it?

How many days did you eat because you were actually hungry, versus eating out of boredom or stress?

Your new measure of success is your behavior. For the next week, I want you to track one specific behavioral change. Focus entirely on what you actually DID differently in those critical moments.

Let’s wrap up!

Wow, these questions were so good! The key takeaway from all of this is to simplify your approach. Pick one framework that resonates with you, then personalize it to your specific triggers. Give it enough time to actually work, and practice it especially during those tough moments when you need it most. And finally, shift your focus to measuring your behavior change, because that's what creates real results.

Keep sending me your questions—I love answering them! And remember, you're not broken, you're just human. These tools work, but they require consistent and realistic application.

I'll see you next week!

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