Why do we have moments of insecurity and why do we have moments of security? In this presentation, learn how the insecurities you have in life are feedback mechanisms to guide you back to what's really authentic. Dr Demartini shares the wise steps to take to transform insecurities into inspired certainties.
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That's one of the reasons why it's important to prioritize your life,
Speaker:because it increases the certainty, it increases the security, if you will,
Speaker:or thrival instead of survival. When you're in survival,
Speaker:that's when you're insecure,
Speaker:In all probability,
Speaker:there's been times in your life where you felt you were in possibly social
Speaker:settings, where you felt a little insecure,
Speaker:a little uncertain about stepping forward and taking actions and leading
Speaker:the pack or leading the way in your life.
Speaker:And other times you may have felt in command and took the direction and
Speaker:took the, you know, the bull by the horns, if you will,
Speaker:and had more certainty and security in your positioning.
Speaker:The question that you want to ask is why do we have moments of insecurity and
Speaker:why do we have moments of security?
Speaker:And I'd like to address that in this particular little presentation.
Speaker:Every human being has a set of priorities, a set of values in their life,
Speaker:and whatever is highest on the list of priorities or values or things that are
Speaker:most important to them, is where they tend to gather the most information.
Speaker:Your brain is set up as an integrative source of information.
Speaker:It takes information from the senses and puts it up and integrates it.
Speaker:And in the area of the highest values,
Speaker:we gather the most information therefore we got the most data to work with to be
Speaker:able to perceive, decide, and act. And therefore we have the most certainty,
Speaker:the most security, if you will. And in the area that's lower on our values,
Speaker:because we tend to procrastinate, hesitate, and frustrate,
Speaker:we don't tend to focus, we don't filter information towards that,
Speaker:we tend to have attention deficit disorder,
Speaker:we tend to not have the plethora of information to be able to
Speaker:feel confident to perceive, decide and act.
Speaker:So what's interesting is that anytime you are setting a goal or an objective
Speaker:in a direction that's not highest on your values,
Speaker:you increase the probability of uncertainty and insecurity,
Speaker:And anytime you're doing it in your highest value, your core confidence,
Speaker:your core confidence is an expression of what you value most.
Speaker:And what's interesting is everybody here has a different set of values,
Speaker:a unique set of values,
Speaker:and some of you are dedicated to business and want to grow a business,
Speaker:some of you are dedicated to intellectual pursuits,
Speaker:some are dedicated to spiritual quests, some to physical fitness and beauty,
Speaker:some into maybe social causes, some into beautiful families,
Speaker:some into wealth building, or combinations thereof. But whatever it is,
Speaker:that's highest on your values,
Speaker:is where you're going to have your core competence.
Speaker:That's where you're going to excel the most.
Speaker:That's where you're going to have the most data to be able to make decisions
Speaker:quickly and lead.
Speaker:That's why whatever's highest on our value is where we lead and we have the most
Speaker:certainty and we have more of an executive function and self-governance in that
Speaker:area. If I walk up to somebody and I ask them,
Speaker:you know, do you believe that you're more one side, more positive than negative,
Speaker:more kind than cruel, more nice than mean,
Speaker:they have an uncertainty about that answer and they go, not exactly.
Speaker:If I say you're more mean than nice, more cruel than kind,
Speaker:more negative than positive, they go I don't think so either.
Speaker:But if I say sometimes you're nice, sometimes you're
Speaker:Yep.
Speaker:Because in the forebrain and the area of the executive center in the brain,
Speaker:when we're living by our highest values,
Speaker:we're more objective and objectivity means neutral, more balanced.
Speaker:But if we're living in our amygdala,
Speaker:which as a result of living by lower priorities, lower values,
Speaker:we tend to go into amygdala and we tend to polarize our information and
Speaker:subjectively bias information and there's no way we can have certainty and
Speaker:security when we're sitting in there in this survival mode.
Speaker:Anytime we're living in our lower values, we go into survival mode.
Speaker:Anytime we live by the highest value and living congruently and by priority,
Speaker:we go into thrival mode.
Speaker:And that's where we have the most certainty and security
Speaker:Maslow beautifully described it, as you got kind of a suicidal survival level,
Speaker:then you got security and then a socialization,
Speaker:self-esteem and then you eventually have self-actualization. Well,
Speaker:that's a correlation with values. You live by your highest values,
Speaker:you're moving in self-actualization pathway.
Speaker:Self-Actualized individuals that have self-governance.
Speaker:And people that are sitting there in insecurity,
Speaker:they're going to be living in lower values.
Speaker:So anytime you are trying to do something that's out of your core competence,
Speaker:out of what you value most, out of what you excel at,
Speaker:it's normal to have insecurity. If I was going to speak at an IT convention,
Speaker:I'd have insecurity.
Speaker:I'd have anxiety probably about to speak to cuz that's not my area of expertise.
Speaker:I delegate that.
Speaker:It's wise to delegate all lower priority things and get on to doing the higher
Speaker:priority things in life to master your life.
Speaker:You can't do everything so you're going to have to delegate things that aren't
Speaker:inspiring to if you want an inspiring life.
Speaker:And so that's one of the reasons why it's important to prioritize your life,
Speaker:because it increases the certainty, It increases the security if you will,
Speaker:or thrival instead of survival. When you're in survival,
Speaker:that's when you're insecure. Because when you don't have food and, you know,
Speaker:if you don't have oxygen, you don't have water, you don't have food,
Speaker:you don't have protective house,
Speaker:you don't have reproduction and clothing and things, you're in survival mode,
Speaker:barely surviving. And so the next one is now that you got that,
Speaker:now you wanna secure that and stabilize that. So these are all basic you know,
Speaker:basic survival strategies,
Speaker:but the second you're living by priority and you're doing something of service
Speaker:and your income is going up and you're feeling like you're ahead of the game,
Speaker:your insecurities automatically drop out,
Speaker:because you now focused on what's really important and being of service and
Speaker:being compensated and you can pay your bills and things of this nature.
Speaker:So anytime you're in a changing environment that's
Speaker:to and it's not what's highest on your priorities,
Speaker:it's normal to feel an insecurity. I don't know if anybody doesn't have it.
Speaker:I have those periodically when I have changes that I'm adapting to.
Speaker:So insecurity is not a bad thing, but it is a feedback.
Speaker:It's a feedback to let you know that you're probably
Speaker:really most important, not really highest in priority.
Speaker:And this is a common thing that occurs when you you're walking around in the
Speaker:world out there and you meet somebody you thinks got more intelligence than you,
Speaker:or more success than you, or more, you know, wealth than you,
Speaker:or more stable relationships than you, or more social connections than you,
Speaker:or more physically fit than you, or more spiritually aware than you,
Speaker:the moment you compare yourself to them and think, oh my God,
Speaker:they have something I don't, you feel a little insecure and you,
Speaker:you're too humble to admit what you see in them inside yourself and you're
Speaker:playing small and exaggerating them,
Speaker:you're automatically going to be feeding yourself and injecting their values
Speaker:into your life and trying to be doing something that's not really important to
Speaker:you, you just think it is,
Speaker:and you're living in their shadows instead of standing on shoulders and giving
Speaker:yourself permission to shine according to your own highest values.
Speaker:If you look carefully, whatever you see in them, you have,
Speaker:it's just in a different form according to what you value,
Speaker:you have the same intelligence.
Speaker:I have the same intelligence as an IT specialist, but in human behavior.
Speaker:And you have the same intelligence on whatever's most important to you.
Speaker:It may be raising a family or maybe going and working in the gardens or
Speaker:something, or maybe you know what goes on on television or in a sport.
Speaker:But you're not lacking whatever you perceive in others,
Speaker:you just have it in your area of expertise, which is your highest value.
Speaker:That's why on my website,
Speaker:I tell people to go and do the Value Determination process, because if you do,
Speaker:it'll help you identify where your highest values are and it'll help you
Speaker:structure your life according and delegate lower priority things and excel,
Speaker:and then your insecurities drop.
Speaker:That's also one of the reasons why I do the Breakthrough Experience program,
Speaker:pretty well, I've done it 1,133 times around the world,
Speaker:getting ready to do it again. And that program,
Speaker:I do what I can to show people how to dissolve the comparisons you have to other
Speaker:people and dissolve the emotions that arise when you're not living by your
Speaker:highest priority, and you've now got yourself trapped in an insecure mode,
Speaker:uncertainties.
Speaker:I show you how to dissolve that emotional baggage that's distracting you,
Speaker:get back onto priority and reclaim your power again.
Speaker:And it's a very powerful exercise in doing that and it's a simple educational
Speaker:process that I give in the Breakthrough Experience to help you do that.
Speaker:Because if you live by priority and fill your day with the highest priority
Speaker:actions that inspire you,
Speaker:where you have core competence and you know that you know that you know,
Speaker:and you start with what you know, and just keep letting what you know grow,
Speaker:your security level is transcended.
Speaker:Your insecurities are transcended and your security level is off the roof.
Speaker:You're basically empowered again. You know,
Speaker:I have very good strength and knowledge in the area of human behavior.
Speaker:But again, put me in IT, that's not my area. I delegate that so,
Speaker:I I would feel insecure there.
Speaker:Put me in there and all of a sudden taking care of a grandbaby,
Speaker:I have a new grandbaby.
And I'm like going, I'm not sure exactly what to do every minute with the baby,
Speaker:you know,
it's been 30 something years since I've had children.
Speaker:So in the process of doing it, I would feel less secure in that situation.
Speaker:Or if I had to go repair a car, the car broke down, I'd repair,
Speaker:I'd feel insecure,
Speaker:cuz those aren't things that I normally do or not high on my values and not
Speaker:priorities.
Speaker:So fill your day with the highest priority actions that inspire you most,
Speaker:where you excel, where you know that you know that you know,
Speaker:you know something and build upon that and gain momentum,
Speaker:incremental momentum and more knowledge about that
Speaker:and you'll grow your security level and won't feel so much insecure.
Speaker:And beware of comparing yourself to other people and trying to be somebody
Speaker:you're not.
Speaker:The magnificence of who you are is far greater than any fantasies you'll make of
Speaker:yourself trying to fit in. Einstein said,
Speaker:if you're a cat trying to swim like a fish,
Speaker:you're going to beat yourself up and feel insecure, in water.
Speaker:But if you're a cat climbing a tree, you feel fine. So realize who you are,
Speaker:realize what your highest values are. Do the Value Determination process,
Speaker:come and learn at the Breakthrough Experience how to dissolve the emotional
Speaker:baggage that's revolving around this insecurity and reintegrate your life onto
Speaker:priority.
Speaker:And give yourself permission to delegate the lower priority things and not trap
Speaker:yourself in time by doing things that aren't really, truly meaningful,
Speaker:inspiring and where you excel.
Speaker:And do something that you do excel at that serves people
Speaker:so you're remunerated enough to pay for all that,
Speaker:and get rewarded in life and then get paid So you have financial security in
Speaker:addition to regular security. And if you do,
Speaker:then you're not going to be sitting there living in an insecure world so much.
Speaker:And it is an option.
Speaker:I really believe that the insecurities we have in life are just feedback
Speaker:mechanisms to guide us back to what's really authentic.
Speaker:I really think that everything that's going on in our life is actually trying to
Speaker:get us authentic. And the authentic us revolves around our highest value,
Speaker:our identity and our most knowledge and our purpose in life revolves around
Speaker:what we value most. So finding it out what it is, go on the website,
Speaker:do the Demartini Value Determination process and take advantage of being really
Speaker:clear about what's really important,
Speaker:prioritize your daily life in that direction,
Speaker:delegate the lower priority things and watch how your insecurities now become
Speaker:inspired certainties. And those are the people who lead.
Speaker:You can either follow the crowd and follow the, be a follower of a culture,
Speaker:or you can lead one.
Speaker:And I'd much rather be on the living by design than living by duty,
Speaker:living by an inspiration, not a desperation.
Speaker:So walk the path of more certainty and security by prioritizing your life
Speaker:and filling your day with things that you know, with certainty,
Speaker:you know something about and stick to that. And by the way,
Speaker:you don't have to say anything except what you know,
Speaker:so you don't have to speak up.
Speaker:You can just smile
If you learn and listen,
Speaker:you might learn more and you'll have more confidence as you go along.
Speaker:But stick to priority. Watch what happens. And if you do you'll,
Speaker:you'll say thank you to your own life and know that everything is a feedback to