Have you ever wondered if true freedom and authenticity lie in being real with ourselves—and God—about our messiest insecurities? Join us on this episode of Seek Go Create - The Leadership Journey as Tim Winders sits down with Melissa Hughes, bestselling author and spiritual mentor, to explore personal branding through the lens of divine validation. Discover how embracing authenticity, awkwardness, and faith can transform both your personal journey and digital presence. Tune in to hear Melissa's incredible story, practical advice, and the viral moment that changed everything.

"Confidence comes from embracing your authentic self, flaws and all." —Melissa Hughes

Access all show and episode resources HERE

About Our Guest:

Melissa Hughes is the bestselling author of "She Can Laugh," a transformative guide blending spiritual, emotional, and physical health. As a dynamic speaker and influential social media personality, she has inspired countless individuals to embrace their authentic selves and grow their personal brands. Hughes is renowned for her insightful approach to faith and business, seamlessly integrating practical spirituality into everyday interactions. Her journey from challenging beginnings to viral success demonstrates her resilience and impactful message, earning her national recognition, including an appearance on the Kelly Clarkson Show. Melissa's expertise and passion for helping others communicate effectively make her a sought-after consultant and mentor in personal branding.

Reasons to Listen:

1. Personal Growth Insights: Discover Melissa Hughes' transformative journey from seeking validation to embracing authenticity, offering practical advice for anyone battling people-pleasing tendencies.
2. Spiritual Empowerment: Learn how tuning into spiritual guidance and understanding divine validation can enhance your personal and professional life, as illustrated by Melissa's and Tim's experiences.
3. Effective Personal Branding: Gain valuable tips on developing a powerful personal brand rooted in authenticity and spiritual insights, and understand its impact on influencing and adding value through social media.

Episode Resources & Action Steps:

Resources Mentioned

1. Book: "She Can Laugh" by Melissa Hughes - Covers spiritual, emotional, and physical health, including recipes and humor.
2. Free Resource by Melissa Hughes - Aimed at helping people gain clarity on their brand message. Focuses on understanding what God says about them.

Action Steps

1. Embrace Authenticity in Personal Branding - Reflect on how God sees you and use this understanding as the foundational step for your personal brand. Focus on being honest and transparent about your own journey and struggles to connect with your audience genuinely.
2. Utilize Social Media Effectively - Use social media platforms as tools to spread positive messages and share your personal and spiritual growth stories. Engage with your audience by sharing content that resonates with your values and beliefs.
3. Develop Spiritual Sensitivity - Practice tuning into God's voice by maintaining an open and active pursuit of spiritual connection. Confirm what you believe you hear from God by asking simple questions about people and verifying the answers, as described by Melissa Hughes.

Resources for Leaders from Tim Winders & SGC:

🎙 Unlock Leadership Excellence with Tim

• Transform your leadership and align your career with your deepest values. Schedule your Free Discovery Call now to explore how you can reach new heights in personal and professional growth. Limited slots available each month – Book your session today!

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• Challenge your perceptions and embark on a journey toward true fulfillment. Dive into transformative insights with "Coach: A Story of Success Redefined." This book will help you rethink what success means and how to achieve it on your terms. Don't miss out on this essential read—order your copy today!

Key Lessons:

1. Seek Validation from Within and Above: Melissa Hughes emphasizes the importance of seeking to be seen, known, and heard by God first rather than relying on external validation, which can lead to people-pleasing and a lack of authenticity.
2. Embrace Authenticity and Vulnerability: Melissa shares her journey of personal growth and finding freedom by being honest with God about her messiness and insecurities. She encourages others to embrace their true selves, even if it feels awkward or "cringy."
3. Leveraging Spiritual Guidance in Personal Branding: Understanding how God sees you is foundational for personal branding. Hughes combines practical advice on building a brand with spiritual insights, highlighting the importance of aligning one's message with divine guidance.
4. Transformation Through Adversity: Both Melissa and Tim discuss the concept of "post-traumatic growth," illustrating how difficult experiences can lead to profound personal development, deeper gratitude, and a stronger sense of purpose.
5. Utilize Social Media Positively: Despite some reluctance within religious communities, Melissa passionately argues for the effective use of social media platforms to spread positive messages and build personal credibility, thereby extending one's influence and sharing solutions rooted in faith.

These key lessons offer listeners actionable insights on integrating faith into personal growth, branding, and social interactions, emphasizing both spiritual and practical aspects.

Episode Highlights:

00:00 The Viral Video That Changed Everything

00:47 Introduction to Melissa Hughes

02:08 Melissa's Journey and Career

04:05 The Role of Faith in Melissa's Life

06:21 Challenges and Resilience

12:36 The Valley Experience

21:06 Post-Traumatic Growth and Gratitude

30:54 From Valley to Viral

34:34 A Viral Video and Its Aftermath

35:42 From Viral Sensation to Entrepreneur

44:27 The Importance of Personal Branding

54:34 Embrace the Cringe: Pathway to Confidence

58:02 Final Thoughts and Resources

Thank you for listening to Seek Go Create!

Our podcast is dedicated to empowering Christian leaders, entrepreneurs, and individuals looking to redefine success in their personal and professional lives. Through in-depth interviews, personal anecdotes, and expert advice, we offer valuable insights and actionable strategies for achieving your goals and living a life of purpose and fulfillment.

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Mentioned in this episode:

Achieve Your Vision with Tim Winders' Executive Coaching

Dreaming of a leadership role that not only achieves goals but also truly inspires? Join Tim Winders, your SeekGoCreate host, on a journey to make those dreams a tangible reality. As an expert executive coach, Tim is dedicated to transforming your aspirations into lasting legacies. With a unique blend of faith-driven guidance and real-world experience, he helps align your professional goals with your deepest values for a fulfilling and successful journey. Ready to shape a path that's truly your own? Schedule a free Discovery Coaching Call with Tim now. Dive into a conversation that could turn your vision into reality. Let's embark on this transformative journey together.

Book Coaching Call

One day, God says, Hey, Melissa, post videos online.

And I'm like, Oh my gosh, this is silly.

This is absolute silliness.

I post one video and the first video on my camera roll, that

video generates 22 million views.

And I end up on the Kelly Clarkson show from a click of

a button, not sell your house.

Not quit your jobs.

I clicked a freaking button.

And to me, that is just God truly showing me like you said, you're not in control

and also not by your strength, honey.

Oh, yeah.

What if your most challenging moments were actually paving the way for

unprecedented impact today on seat, go create the leadership journey.

We welcome Melissa Hughes, bestselling author, podcaster, And an accidental

TikTok influencer turned life's lemons into a thriving social media empire.

journey from a career in the valley next to a cemetery, literally, to

lighting up screens with over 22 million views on her first video teaches us

the power of resilience divine timing.

Join us as Melissa shares how her Valley experiences helped cultivate

a vision that now inspires thousands to leverage their stories for impact

and influence through social media.

Melissa, welcome to SeatGoCreate.

Thank you for that awesome introduction.

I am, I'm glad for us to talk this is a little bit of a

different conversation for me.

I'm talking to someone who's like famous.

I don't know if I'd go that far, but I am excited to be on the show.

All right, well, yeah, I'm, and I'm sort of joking, I'm not joking about it.

It's like, okay, I was looking last night and said, wow, she's been on

Kelly Clarkson and had this video.

We'll get to that in just a moment, but before we kind of get rolling.

When I meet someone I'm out and about one of the first questions I

will typically ask is what you do.

And so I've kind of gotten in the habit of doing that here on the

podcast, even though I have done quite a bit of research and all that.

But if somebody asks you what you do, Melissa, what do you typically tell them?

Ooh, this is a very good question.

I have two answers.

Do you want both?

give them both to me and tell me the situation that you might decide.

Well, the first one is the, you know how, and this is like a really good,

Maybe way for your audience to introduce themselves when they're at a networking

event or whatever is you do a you know How and you lead with a pain and then you

tell them that you fix that so sometimes they go You know how you have like a

message that's inside of you and you like want to get it out to the world But

you don't really know how and sometimes you have so many things that you want to

say You don't know how to make it clear.

Well, I fix that.

I help people grow their personal brand online and on stage Or I

just say I help people grow their personal brand online or on stage.

So the first one you mentioned was sort of at a networking event.

so you are around sort of business type people I guess the second one would

that be more like the general public?

Yeah, I think it probably also depends on have I had a coffee or have I not, but

I think the, you know, how really does it's more engaging in my mind because

it helps people to think about their own life, rather than just, oh, I do this.

Whereas this, the first one I think engages people in a conversation and

that's probably more of what you want.

Yeah, it is and those help me because i've kind of seen both of those just

over the last few days when i've been checking things and doing research and

all that, but does bring up something that's interesting that we'll go ahead.

I sometimes like to just go ahead and dive in the deep end of the pool right, here.

And I think I listened to you on a podcast and I don't remember the name of it.

It was where someone was interviewing you and y'all were talking about listening and

hearing the Holy Spirit you instructions and tell you things and things like that.

How often does that.

enter in when you are just meeting and greeting and connecting or, hustling

through an airport or something like that.

how does the Holy Spirit factor into what I just brought up, that

question that you're answering?

Wow, I love that you are leading with this, and I love that

you're asking this question.

I feel like it factors in every day, all the time.

that's actually a skill that people can learn, and it's one

that I have just kind of learned.

whenever I'm in conversation with someone, I try to, Tune in to maybe

like what God might be saying to me about them or just for them.

But yeah, it does lead me into some interesting conversations and some

interesting encounters with people I have I I I one day will write a book of all

the stories because they're really fun But yeah that's a skill that i've learned

and that actually is Kind of how I came to a place of faith is someone did that

for me And so I just have taken it my responsibility to do that in the world.

so it's fascinating about that, and you know how this works.

You've been around church world and all for a period of time.

When we start Talking about the voice of the Lord or the Holy Spirit.

And we're injecting it into what I would consider a business

or a practical conversation.

people get a little bit weird with that.

They don't quite, they like to keep it separate.

I'm with you.

I just had a meeting this morning where I was discussing bylaws, policies and rules

and regulations with an organization.

I know it sounds exciting.

I know you're sitting here going, Ooh, I wish I could have been in on

that meeting, but, no, you don't.

But as we're walking through things, I'm just sitting here thinking,

you know, this could be some tough stuff, but I really do believe that

the Holy Spirit is here with me.

Holy Spirit's helping with some tough things where we're trying to redo

documents of a 40 year old organization.

I guess my question is at what point do you recall having the expectation,

that's the word I want to use, the expectation that he, the Holy Spirit, she,

if it's a she that's fine with me too,

Was going to be involved with those kind of conversations.

It's going to be walking with you to the airport It was going to be

sitting with you on the plane do you recall like I know you said someone

did it for you and I actually i'm going to backtrack with your story at

some point But when did you like go?

You know what this is?

This is me.

I'm walking with the holy spirit

Yeah.

Well, I think, I think the first thing is truly believing that that's possible.

'cause I remember coming into church and someone said that, and

I just thought, that is weird.

I mean, really, that was my thought.

I was like, what do you mean you feel like God speaks to you?

And lo and behold, I mean, I knew God.

Yeah.

I don't think you can know Christ without knowing his voice.

The truth is, is like how aware.

Are you of how often he's speaking to you is the thing.

And I remember though, being in church and someone said, do you

guys all feel God's presence?

And I remember being, looking around and, and being like, I, I feel air.

I, all I feel is air and I don't even feel that really.

So like, I have no idea.

So I think like just being open to that idea was like, I remember

those moments specifically.

And then I just remember it wasn't so much that it happened accidentally.

I think I was so intrigued.

That it was possible that I read this scripture that said

eagerly desire spiritual gifts.

And so I actually Tim I pursued it and I remember like praying and being like

Like god speak to me for this person or speak to me about me or like show me

How you speak to me and then and then the way that I would find out if I was

hearing properly Was I would ask god a question about the person and then

i'd hear something And then I would ask them if it was true, sounds kind

of silly, but it would literally be like, do you have a cousin named Dave?

And they'd be like, no, I'm like, oh, okay, no worries.

That's fine.

But then the more that like, I just started having this relationship of

asking God for weird, random things.

And then I'd start to get sharper and sharper and sharper.

and One of the I know you have a background and I think help

Yeah.

health coaching.

Is it, some people will say this, and at times I will agree with this.

And at times I'll disagree that what we're talking about here, hearing the

voice of the spirit, acting on it.

We'll talk about that because some people will hear and then they won't act on it.

It's sort of like a muscle, sort of like working a muscle.

And the more you work it, there are times, Melissa, where I agree with that.

And then there are times I'm going, I think that might be oversimplifying it.

But it, Is it like that?

Is it like working something and the more you work it, the stronger it gets?

I think it's truly, I think here's what I would say is I truly think that

God is speaking to us all the time, but I just think it's so natural.

And we just don't, we don't number one, attribute it necessarily to like, cause

when we think I heard God's voice, we, we over spiritualize it and think we

hear this like booming voice from heaven.

And it's not like that.

I feel like I've just become more and more aware of how often God's speaking.

He's already speaking.

So I think it's more so just like.

Finding out how naturally that relationship that you have with

God really is so natural and tuning into that and being aware of it.

And there isn't like a level of confidence.

the more you find out that people do have a cousin named Dave.

Yes!

And you're like, oh wow, that was accurate.

So I do believe all of this ties into a conversation I want us to have in

a few minutes on personal branding on how do we arrive on some of these

social media platforms and, and how do we know we're being authentic?

trying to be something that we're not, I want to have conversations because

it's kind of what attracted me to want to talk to you I see you doing it and

I see you doing it with how we would often define it in a successful way.

So I'll ask you in a little while, how you define success there.

But before we do that, I read your book.

She can laugh.

yesterday, a guide to living spiritually, emotionally, and physically healthy.

You kind of covered all their spirit, soul, and body.

and I was sort of joking with my wife.

She goes, how'd you like Melissa's book?

I said, you know what?

She had recipes.

had recipes in there and, and my wife has written a recipe book and she

knows how Little, I think about food.

I said, what kind of recipes?

I said, well, there was a quinoa salad and there was, there was

some really, really good stuff.

I'm sure I have no idea what it meant.

I'm showing my weakness there.

That's not me in any way,

Yeah.

but you did walk through the story of you.

And I think it was your

Yeah, my husband can.

Yeah.

and I think this, the thing that was fascinating to me, it sounds as if.

And I know that sometimes when we write things, we can't

include every single day, but it

Yeah.

as if y'all had very, I'll use the word interesting, but let's go ahead

and said, say challenging year to year and a half plus up to a move overseas.

And then also when you were overseas, let's go back to that and walk me through.

where you were at, this is a little bit cheesy, but kind of

where you were at spiritually.

Obviously, if you think the

Yeah.

telling you to move overseas and plant a church and do things, feel as if

you're hearing from the Lord, but sounds like there was a lot of opportunity

to question that along the way.

Yeah.

we had the opportunity to move to the UK to start a church.

And since I was a kid, just the idea of living in the UK

was like, so exciting to me.

And then I ended up marrying someone who's from there.

All the stars are aligning.

Like, I don't know if anyone on here has like ever had a dream and then suddenly

you're like, Oh my gosh, it's coming to like, it's, it's going to happen.

I was excited.

And I had this belief system that what God calls you to, if God calls you

to it, it's going to be fantastic.

Like he's obviously in it and Jesus is good.

So it's going to be great.

But we experienced a lot of, challenges to, move.

And then once we were on that airplane and sitting there, we're like,

yay, the dream's coming together.

But then about a month after moving there, my husband got

into a horrible car accident.

And at that point, We had no house, no car, no jobs, no forks, no couches.

The only place that would rent to us was a funeral home in a valley.

I was going to be my husband's full time carer and, I was pregnant.

And so.

I think at the time, my belief was like, Oh, well, this is a bump in

the road again, but God's good.

And like, you know, we're just going to keep going and it's all going

to be, it's all going to be great.

But then as like the weeks and the months ticked on, it actually got worse.

And I just remember sitting in my bed, looking out my window, and as

far as my eye can see, are headstones, and a friend calls me, and she's

like, Hey, Melissa, how are you?

And I was like, you know, we've had some challenges, but we're good.

Like God's good.

And we're going to be great.

And she just, there was like just this long pause.

And she was like, Melissa, you know, that you can just say

that things are really hard.

Right now.

And I, Tim, here's what happened.

I cracked.

I had a moment where I realized that like, I could not even get those words

out of my mouth because I was going to have to answer a question that

was under the surface of all this stuff that I wasn't really prepared

to answer, which was, but then if God is good and I believe that, then why

would he call us into something so bad?

And I really had a.

Faith crisis and like that question just hung there and I didn't have an

answer for it And I was in a pit that I did not know how I was gonna get

out of and honestly thought i'm never gonna get Out of this I felt so broken

the one thing that I felt like I put my whole life in like In God's hands.

I felt like he had betrayed me and I did not have faith.

which was like the one thing that felt so strong to me.

And it was a couple months slash year later that I remember one day saying, God,

how could anything good come from this?

And I truly felt like God Bent down from heaven and whispered to me into

such like a tender part of my heart.

He said, mountaintop experiences are for sights and inspiration,

but fruit grows in the valley.

And that was a Billy Graham quote that I had read and it just

went right into my heart and I realized, Oh, God's still good.

He's just doing something on the inside of me right now.

And it's not visible to the, to anybody else.

I couldn't even see it, but God's wanting to do a deep work in

my heart and it's for purpose.

while you were sharing that I'm at.

This is a sort of a backtrack, but I'm curious what was going on with your

husband and I know I'm not interviewing him and sometimes it's not good to ask.

you know, cause I asked, we had some friends recently that, uh, husband,

he was going through a little bit of a health challenge and I asked

the wife and said, how's he doing?

And the wife said, oh, he's fine.

But I'm looking at him going, I don't think he's fine.

so what, I mean, what can you share about what was going on?

Cause I mean, he obviously had some physical issues he was dealing with.

He probably thought just like you, that the Lord was about to

just open up the gates of heaven and pour out blessings on you.

As you're there, I, I hate it, but I love the imagery of being

in a valley in a cemetery.

I'm not laughing at you.

I'm laughing with you.

Sorta.

I love that, that imagery there.

But tell me a little bit about what he was possibly going through at the time.

Cause I'm sure y'all debriefed and discussed it some.

Yeah, you know, it was actually a very lonely season for both of us because,

as he's going through his challenges physically, he's experiencing his own,

challenges, but then as the carer, I'm experiencing my own challenges.

And so I don't know if anybody.

Has as a married couple has experienced that, but the person that's caring

for that person can eventually become resentful because they're

like, I'm doing everything and they aren't getting their needs met.

And then this person then is also going through their challenges that

they need caring, but then over time it can very quickly become a very

lonely experience for both people.

And I would say that we both felt that.

So it was a really hard time.

And then on top of that, he's also having to deal with a wife who is spiraling.

So Tim, I'm just wondering for you, from a man's perspective,

probably not a great time.

He, he, I have to say though, um, and let's have this on record.

He handled it with incredible.

Bravery and perseverance that I did not have.

And I regularly tell him that, that he, he really carried us, like even in his

own condition, he really did carry us.

So, one of the things is very similar.

The details are different, but it's a similar, mental thing that wife

and I went through from 08 till 13, and it was post financial collapse.

You know, we thought we were doing all that the Lord wanted,

our life was blessed living in a country club, blah, blah, blah.

And then, you know, five years later, we're homeless, bankrupt,

living out of a Honda van.

what I tell people ask all the time, very similar question,

what was it like for you?

What was it like for your wife?

and the thing I say two things and I'll say these and then I'll

let you respond or whatever.

One thing we say is that the way the Lord had us, we were going

deeper with the Lord the whole time.

We weren't aware of it fully but because things of the world were just

being peeled away almost daily from us.

Yeah.

we were getting to a broken place.

And many times it's what the Lord, I don't want to say He desires it.

He needs it because we won't allow change unless we really become broken.

the interesting thing for the two of us was that didn't both, air

quotes here, quit at the same time.

There were probably times where I was in quit mode and had lost my mojo

and all these thoughts, but she was like, all of a sudden, super positive.

I'm typically

Yeah,

in the relationship.

And then sometimes when she was down, I would be caring.

And so we never quit at the same time.

The second thing that we say now to everyone that asks about it is that we

wouldn't wish we went through on anyone.

But we are thankful that we went through it.

yeah,

any response to any of those comments about our experience?

yeah, I would say we, we would probably share very similar experiences 100

percent and especially, that sentiment we would, you know, would not want

anyone to go through it, but like, it really was the making of us.

And I would, you know, it's same for you.

there's actually a term.

I just did a talk about this called the value of the valley.

And when I was doing some research around valley seasons, there's actually

a term called post traumatic growth, which is after you've experienced

trauma, incredible growth can come.

And a lot of people, 70 percent of people, Experience a deeper sense

of gratitude, of satisfaction, of, meaning in their life after going

through something very traumatic because pain helps you prioritize.

Helps you think like what really is important like all that stuff that

you had you're like that was nice But man, like i'm just grateful

that me and my wife are together.

I'm just grateful that we still love each other I'm, just grateful to have

breath in my lungs Like it just puts so much into perspective and I think

anyone that goes through a valley like that I mean, I don't know about

for you, but for me I Regularly, every day I'm like, thank you so much

God for what you've done in my life.

Like I just can't get over it.

Nobody will, only Jesus and my husband knows, you know, and I'm

sure you guys feel the same way.

Yeah, we're very grateful.

And I think what you brought up is powerful about the Post traumatic

growth, because in many ways we're recording this, I'll put a timestamp

whenever people listen, we're recording this in fall of 2024, all as the world

appears if we've moved away from COVID, which was quite traumatic for I think

everyone, But I think collectively, Culture society is going through this.

What's important to me now, what did I think was important in 2020,

early 2020 than now it's different.

And we're similar also.

I mean, I had a conversation yesterday and we aren't minimalist,

but we really are essentialist.

We live in 39 feet space.

You know, a few hundred square feet.

Yeah.

Right.

for the winter.

We're thankful for that, but we don't have a lot of stuff.

When in 2008, we were in a 6, 000 square foot home, Melissa.

And so, uh, you know, a lot of that.

this brings up my next thing and I'm circling moving towards

a personal brand conversation, because I believe some of this is

character issues that lead to that.

Right.

So, the second part of the question when you were walking through your

story is, we, especially those of us in First World, and First World

Christians especially, believe that life is supposed to be sunshine,

unicorns, and roses all the time?

And we define the sunshine is what type roses we deal with

and what the unicorns look like.

In other words, as control types, you're probably not this.

We, we believe that we can control our lives.

And so you probably had, as y'all were preparing for this incredibly

miraculous move over to the UK, you probably had the visions in your mind.

You might've even journaled and written out.

This is the way it's going to be like, and then

bam.

So talk about.

the expectations we have

Hmm.

related to possibly God may have planned, but I think there's big

disconnects and gaps there, and sometimes we just need to try to reconcile

it, and I don't know how to do it.

Well, I just have to tell you that many times in my life, my husband

actually calls me sunshine and skittles.

Because I approach life, like, even people, I'm like, oh, they're amazing,

they're great, my husband also, he's in the police academy, so his story

is he's gone from pastor to police officer, but it's a gift, he's a gift

to my life, because he, He's called to see the dirt in society and I

truly feel called to see the light.

But so to have for so for god to take somebody that he's wired to see everything

as sunshine skittles and rainbows and stick them in the valley on the cemetery.

he had no problem popping that bubble.

And I truly believe that God is more interested in creating people that will

move from being, a beggar to a builder.

And I want to just say what I mean by that is a lot of times when we enter

into a relationship with Jesus, we are like, what can you do for me, God?

And, you know, like, I want this, I want that, make my life great.

And we're called to build the kingdom.

And in order to be a builder, you have to be fit for service.

And so God has no problem building you up to be fit for what he has

called and commissioned you to do.

And we say like, I want to be used by God.

Well, listen, you are, he's going to take you on a journey.

And that is not like a scare tactic.

It is the best, most profound, that is the thing, Tim.

We're not called to a pain free life.

We're called to live a profound life.

which is the cross and the resurrection.

It's the love that we've experienced and also the sin that we've had to forego.

It's like this beautiful dichotomy in life of what God calls us to have.

we walk through the cross to experience the resurrection

and that's what Jesus modeled.

So, that was, I feel like I got a firsthand experience to that.

Has it, has it changed your level of optimism at all, or have you, adjusted it?

I mean, listen, I'm typically an optimistic person that actually got me in

trouble with some business because I kept thinking things are going to be great.

God, I'm on God's family.

He'll take care of me, blah, blah, blah.

Right.

And he, didn't look like my one to three year plan that I had listed out.

Yeah.

And yeah, so go ahead.

I mean, has it changed the way you look at things?

I would say I'm still, like if you were to see me walking through life, I look like

Skittles, sunshine and rainbows, right?

That's like my disposition.

I'm very sunny.

But, I think what it helped me to understand was that, God is building

something and he wants us, he wants.

To equip us.

And I think, there's a quote by CS Lewis and it's so good.

And it's basically describes us as like a decent little cottage.

You might have heard it.

Have you heard this quote before?

don't think so.

My wife really loves C.

S.

Lewis.

I've read quite a bit, but not everything, but go ahead.

Well, he essentially says like, when I came to know Jesus, I'm like a

decent little cottage, but I knew that there were things that needed fixing.

Like the plumbing needed to be fixed.

Like this wall needed to be painted.

But what ended up happening was like the wall got blown out and it wasn't

just like the plumbing needed fixing.

It needed all new plumbing.

And he goes through this whole thing about like.

He thought that he was going to be built into a nice, decent little cottage.

When in fact, God was building a mansion for him to reside in and a Matt and

it's something that was beautiful.

And so I think like my perspective is, is of that, that like, God

cares so much about your life.

He cares so much about you that he will go to extreme lengths.

And extreme measures to make sure that you become exactly who he

has crafted and created you to be.

And I think that that's probably, so it's still on a level of like, it's a bright

side, but it's like, he has no problem.

You know, making you face the fears, making you get honest, making you

get real with the insecurities and the doubts and the disappointments,

because he knows that that cannot come with you into the next season and

the thing that he's called you to do.

I love the house analogy because what I, my mind started wandering towards

foundation and the subtitle in your book says a guide to living spiritually,

emotionally, and physically, which I word that is spirit, soul, and body.

Yeah.

And what I recognized was that my foundation wasn't as strong spiritually.

And I

Yeah.

For me, the last few years, it's been, he wants my heart.

hmm.

my heart.

And my exercise here on this earth is getting my heart in the condition that

it's going to be for all eternity.

And so I've got work to do and I've been through a lot of work.

And so that's what we're doing.

is a great time to transition into.

What happens as one moves into social media with

Right.

we're talking about?

For example, I'm going to ask this to kind of begin prepping the story

of kind of how you kind of what I call lightning in a bottle occur.

And the way I want to ask it is this, if that had happened

your experience, can you guesstimate?

What might have gone on with you versus It happening when it did and maybe you

can tell a little bit of what happened.

So people, We'll know what we're talking about

So basically, Tim, that, thank you for bringing that up because I am

such a believer that the valley saved my life because if I didn't have

the valley before the mountaintop, I would have thought I was pretty great.

And so when I'm in the valley, like flexing my biggest muscle, trying to

produce something and I see a vineyard and all I'm producing is one tiny raisin.

I mean, you're just like, Oh my gosh, like I can't do it.

And finally God's like, thank God, like, thank God.

You finally came to that realization that you can't do it.

And I got real honest about all my limitations, all my humanity,

all of my fears and failures.

And then.

One day, God says, Hey, Melissa, post videos online.

And I'm like, Oh my gosh, this is silly.

This is absolute silliness.

I post one video and the first video on my camera roll, that

video generates 22 million views.

And I end up on the Kelly Clarkson show from a click of

a button, not sell your house.

Not quit your jobs.

I clicked a freaking button.

And to me, that is just God truly showing me like you said, you're not in control

and also not by your strength, honey.

I think of Moses and how, you know, When God wants to part the Red

Sea in your life, He will do it.

We don't have to get all of our panties in a bunch and make it happen.

Like, just stay faithful, continue to do and be faithful

with what He's put in your hand.

But I feel like I just got so set free from performance and striving and trying

to make it happen that when that video went viral, I was like, that's it.

This is unreal,

it

So

and you are you are kind of a Control or take charge type personality that,

yeah.

guessing, and you still have this wired in you because I've got this,

but God's just doing different things with it now, is a, you can somewhat

shape and craft your environment.

Do you believe that?

Since I've been a kid, I was president of student council.

I was captain of safety patrol.

I was homecoming queen.

I can make it happen if I want to.

And the valley, the gift was, I can't make it happen.

That was the gift that God gave me was he helped me realize how I am not enough.

had, going to use that you had kind of been broken down in that valley and then

all of a sudden you've got, I know there was probably a bit of time frame here,

but you all of a sudden you have this video 22 million views, which there are

people right now that are strategizing, you know, how to make something go viral.

They've got all these formulas and things like that.

And some people do have some degree of formula around that, at what

point, how far off was it like that Kelly Clarkson kind of got involved?

Because that's like, you're going like big media now.

know.

Yeah.

She reached out about two weeks.

So that video went viral and it stayed viral for, you know, a couple of weeks.

That they reached out about maybe two weeks after that video popped.

And then the show aired in June or July.

But I, then they had me on the show maybe a week later than

it aired in the summertime.

yeah, it was an, it was unbelievable.

And tell us what the video roughly was, because I went

back on your feed last night.

I'm sitting here talking to my wife, I said, I've got to go back and see

what this 22 million view video is.

And I looked at it.

My wife at one point said, did you find it?

I said, I think I did.

I said, and I'm not sure that I get it.

Yeah,

So

It was dumb.

That's the thing.

It was a video of my kids sledding.

Like I put my three year old and two year old on a sled, pushed them

down this Hill that then they just like hit a little jump and the sled

turned and my daughter goes, right.

So it's, I was on the Kelly Clarkson show for a mom fail, which I love.

Cause how many moms feel that way?

But, exactly.

I did not think that it was that funny, but apparently people

thought it was entertaining.

All right.

so then here's the follow up question is, so someone has that, divine or

lightning in a bottle or whatever term you want to use something that

so many people aspire for, have it, you get a lot of recognition for it.

You get asked to be on a national talk show and all of that.

What happens next?

What happens next after that type of an event?

Yeah.

Well, full transparency, like where I was in my life at that time was

we had moved home from the UK.

I was working in childcare and my biggest prayer was, God, I just want

to find a way to work from home.

And so my next step.

Was I needed to figure out video content like that video goes viral,

but it doesn't change my life.

So I just started posting videos in my car on my lunch break while working

in childcare, grew a following.

And then someone came to me and said, Melissa, why don't you

teach people how to do this?

And I, and they'll pay you for that.

And I thought that was ridiculous.

I thought, I said, nobody would pay me to coach them to make videos.

Like that's not a thing.

Turns out it's a thing, Tim.

It's a thing.

He, found me my first client.

And with one client, I was able to replace my income because he pitched me as a

social media consultant, which I was not.

I went out on my own as an entrepreneur with one client and just started

learning business and entrepreneurship.

truly God has just brought clients and people and the right connections.

And it's just been like a different type of walk of faith.

Did you and your husband, you mentioned this sort of happened after

y'all had come back from England.

And I don't know if y'all have discussed this, but did y'all

feel at all as if you had failed?

Oh yeah.

then all right, so hold that thought and then at what point along this next

part of your journey Did you feel as if?

Maybe there's some success occurring because truthfully i'm not sure that

a that a viral video because first of all, how do you duplicate it?

You know, it's like okay this happened, but now what at what point

did you kind of wake up and go?

Hmm, you know what things things are working You Either again or for the

first time or something like that.

So so yes, you did feel like you failed.

So when did you start going?

Okay, I I'm i'm getting a little mojo back here

Yeah, well, I think for most of the journey, it's felt

like an imposter syndrome.

And I think if I were to write a next book, it would be, you are an imposter.

Like I think everything that God calls us to, we should feel like an imposter

because it's him that does it, not us.

And so, but I think to your question for a lot of it, I was like, Oh, this is luck.

The video goes viral.

It's luck.

The fact I grew an audience, it's luck.

The fact I got a client, it's luck.

I just kept putting it down to that.

But now we're three years in and I have a thriving business and I think

only probably just now, you know, I'm like, I think maybe I'm good at this.

I think maybe this is something that like God has gifted me with that like

I can communicate and I can help people craft messages that bring clarity.

so I guess it would be like a three year journey and then also to look at

what we did in the UK as really, truly, I mean, we still have connections

with the people there and God's taken it and it's taken on its own.

we planted that, you know, and we weren't meant to be the ones to carry it on.

And I think I struggled with that.

I felt so deeply loyal to like what God had said, but God wanted us to move on.

Like that wasn't supposed to be my field.

And I think I thought that because I couldn't see the next thing

that I had failed, but we were just meant to go and start it.

And so I think hindsight's 2020, but yeah, we came back and I was

like, man, this is, I've failed.

part of what we do here is define success.

we use a term called redefining it because I think there's world

system, there's kingdom of God and sounds easy, but it's not easy.

Especially when we get into things like, you know, what's my personal

brand, what should it look like?

You know, I'm a, I'm a believer in all, but you know, it also, I'm

still operating in this world system.

So how are you currently defining success?

What does success look like for you?

And you, you could take it in whatever direction you want, but how do you

gauge and measure, measure success now?

how much I'm enjoying my life.

That is like the bottom line is my level of enjoyment.

I mean, and like, I don't know how else to say that, but like there

are, I was having a conversation with someone and I was like, I

don't really want to launch a thing.

I'm so happy.

Like I'm at home with my children.

I have a business that I get to help people and I'm excited.

Is it a multimillion dollar business?

No, but you know what?

I don't think I want what's required to build that.

I really want to be the mom that at 3.

30 I am at the school gate and my kiddo comes running to me with a big smile on

their face, brings me to tears with their paper being like, look at what I made.

I mean, that's success to me.

I truly feel like there's part of me.

I know that I'm, I'm only 34.

So I still have a lot of life to live, but there is part of me where if I were

to die today, I'd be like, I'm so happy.

Thank you for it.

Thank you, Lord.

and so that's, I think when I stop enjoying my life, that's an indicator

to me that I'm no longer successful.

And also, not just me enjoying, but like I'm a blessing to my family.

And the people that I've been entrusted to serve.

and the thing about it is there's some people, they're probably not listening

in this long into the podcast where they would say, well, I enjoy life and I've

got a bunch of money in my bank account.

And I'm not saying that's a bad thing

Yeah.

I like money.

What's odd for me, I'll say it this way and you can respond, is like, it seems as

if, I've been wired to be kind of a hard charger, and what's interesting when you

just mentioned your age, and I do want it to go on record, I did not ask your age.

My wife has gotten on to me before for asking females how old they are.

You're the same age as our daughter.

And we've got two grandchildren and life's awesome.

So we have a perspective of that age bracket.

And, one cool thing by the way, is when you get to the stage where you

can be grandparents and, the month of October, we're going to be spending

with our grandkids and all there.

That's so nice.

but I do think part of the process that we go through.

Is determining what's important to us kind of like we talked about earlier

Yeah.

i've got this weird thing going on and maybe you can say something

about it is the less That I have been doing over the last few years.

I'm not making a doctrine out of this.

The more financial resources we seem to have, but I'm not thinking about it as

Right.

What are your thoughts about that?

Yeah, I had someone the other day and they were like, Hey, do you want

to write a chapter in this book?

It actually is titled give God your yes, and I said, no, I don't, which

is actually really funny, but I just thought, no, I know what I'm like.

There's a scripture in the Bible that says she considers a field

and buys it out of her earnings.

She plants a vineyard and I kind of feel like I know the vineyard that I want to

plant and that would be like a really cool piece of fruit in that vineyard,

but that's not where I'm going right now.

And so these opportunities that might be coming or things that we could

do, I completely agree with you.

I'm really trying to say no more and get more focused on the one thing.

because it, yeah, going all in and, saying no more.

Yeah, that's good.

I actually just had this thought when you were talking about planting the vineyard.

I think I'm in a place where I just want to show up after the wine's

ready and just enjoy the wine.

That's wonderful.

I don't know, but I'm like, well, yeah, there's a lot of people out

there planting vineyards and all that.

Lord, if you want me to do it, I will, but I just like to have a sip of the

wine with some folks that are there.

Right.

the thing I want to get this, this is going to, I'm going

to have a few questions.

I'm going to go ahead and telegraph this that are going to come across cynical.

And it could be my age.

It could be just the world we're in.

But when I hear people say things like they help with

their, someone's personal brand.

I sometimes have a tinge, maybe it's what I've been through, it's like, why

should we care about our personal brand?

Mm hmm.

that's my first question for you.

I want to have some practical discussion here over the last few minutes.

Why should Tim or anyone, I mean, I know you deal with a lot of women, but why

should our personal brands be important to

Okay.

is there somebody do you have an author or someone that has been

like a mentor to you from far away?

Yes.

Okay.

it is?

Patrick Linceoni has written some great books.

Okay.

And has Patrick, do you feel like impacted your life

yes, I reference at least one of his books.

Almost every client I interact with

and how did you find Patrick?

trying to remember someone recommended Patrick to me.

Well, what's funny about that is you have been impacted because

Patrick decided to take a message that was inside of him seriously.

And try to get it out to the world.

And what's funny is as Christians, I spent a long time living in a Valley on

a cemetery, praying this prayer, God, how can we help people come to know Christ?

That was my prayer.

I would door knock.

I stopped people in the grocery store to try to get them to hear about Jesus.

And people were busy.

Yeah, people were pretty busy.

And then I'd say, Hey, you want to come to church?

Well, guess what?

People had a car that broke down or they had problems in their marriage, or they

had a child that was estranged from their life, or they had a dishwasher that broke.

And you know what people needed?

They needed answers to their problems.

And you know what God has put inside of people?

Answers to people's problems.

How are people going to find those people by putting themselves

out there and getting known.

And when we become known, we then have the credibility and the trust

to then share the message of Christ.

And I do not see it any other way.

Right now, Tim, I don't see it any other way.

I don't see people running down the doors at the church.

I don't see people like, tell me about Jesus.

I don't see lost people doing that.

What I do see is Christians that are afraid, that are

timid, that are not bold enough.

And I truly believe that the enemy has used their purity against them.

That he's saying, yeah, you don't want to be too prideful

and put yourself out there.

You don't want to, we just want to make Jesus known.

Well, guess what?

People aren't going to know about Jesus until they meet you because

we are the children of God.

And if we want to make disciples of all nations, we need to get equipped

to go out into the world and do it.

And that is how people are going to do it is by building a personal brand.

I love that.

I sort of pulled your string there because your, your tone changed.

It's like, woo.

I am so.

You know what?

Because I was very timid.

I actually agree with you 100%.

I thought, God, why would you have me?

That feels so selfish.

Like to have people build a personal brand.

So egotistical we're supposed to make Christ known.

And I feel like God really revealed that to me.

And so now I'm going from like being timid about it to no, I'm shouting it

from the rooftops, build a brand, which is very Christian and worldly terminology.

But really what it is is get your booty out there in the world, figure out

who you are and how Christ has fitted you to be work for service, do it.

right.

Very good.

I'm going to throw a little bit of gas on your fire.

So, you know, if you need to start yelling or throwing things, go ahead.

the second phase of my cynicism revolves around some of the tools that

are out there today and specifically the social media platforms.

I have such a love hate with those and I'll Talk more about it.

Why?

Because really it relates back to some of the things we talked

about at the beginning of the foundation and what people have

been through and things like that.

But if someone says, well, yeah, but I don't really want to participate

with TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, or any of that kind of stuff.

so, you know, I don't think there's good things going on there.

what say you?

Oh, I would say I didn't realize I'm going to get really snarky now.

I'm a little passionate today

I'm,

don't want to get too,

like

Okay.

Go.

Okay.

Cause yeah, there's this, there's like the sunshine side of Mel and then there's this

like fiery side that like when you start touching on certain topics, But, you know,

if we are, if we are called right now to go into all the world and you have a

phone and we're over here in church being like, man, should we put on another event?

Should we try to, you know, how can we reach people when God has

literally opened up the passageways for us to communicate to the world?

And we're over here like offended because of social media.

And I'm like, hello?

It's a tool.

Yes.

People are going to be inappropriate with it.

Yes.

People are going to use it for their own selfish gain.

But as a believer, hello, it's a megaphone that we are not using.

And I just am, I'm over it.

I'm so over like people being offended with some of this stuff.

get over yourself, post the freaking video and put yourself out there because

there are people that could really use it.

And I think that, I think it's a religious attitude that I'm over.

I,

I'm over it.

So excited that you are passionate about this because this was, I think, one of the

first things that sort of attracted me.

It's like, you know, I'd like to talk to Melissa because I didn't know you'd

been through what you've been through.

But I know people dealing with these tools they have to have a certain mindset.

And I also think they have to have a certain their soul and their spirit

has to be in a certain condition.

Mm hmm.

having said all that you just said, which I love, what can you advise

people about the proper mindset for the personal branding, the proper

mindset for going onto these platforms?

Because they're also messing with people.

Mm hmm.

are attempting to be something that they're not.

They're using words like authenticity and things like that

when they're not quite clear on it.

And you did say earlier that had this happened to you.

Whenever we might be having a different conversation, if a

conversation also us your wisdom on where people need to be when they're

interacting with these platforms and

I think a really big thing.

So this is the truth.

Every person has a desire to feel seen, known, and heard.

And so where you get that from is everything.

Pre Valley, I can honestly say.

and I'll be fully transparent.

I want people to like me.

It's bad.

I know that I have tendencies about myself that I have to check myself,

be like, Oh, I'm people pleasing.

Why am I doing that?

Like I have safeguards in my life.

I'm aware I like, and my husband doesn't, I'm really grateful for him.

But like, I do things where I'm like, I wanting to feel seen.

I'm wanting to feel heard.

And that was a problem for me.

And God brought me into a Valley.

Or he had to deal with me on some of those things and I'm grateful for that.

So I think educating people on, Hey, wanting to be, seen, heard,

and known is not a problem.

That's not a bad thing, but making sure that you, that you are seen, heard, and

known by the father first is everything.

And I just did a post yesterday actually saying, we don't want to be recognized.

We want to be seen, but being seen means seen for the good, the bad, and the ugly.

And that is the problem right now, is people want to be recognized.

They don't want to be seen.

And so I felt like I had to be seen by God in the valley when I

was messy, when I was ugly, when I was gross, when I wasn't pretty.

And I felt his love for me in that season.

And it set me free from honestly needing that from other people.

And so I feel like I'm equipped to do that online.

Do I need to make sure that I stay in a place of humility?

Of course.

But am I going to allow the fear that I won't hold me back from doing it?

No, because I don't think that that's good stewardship either.

But I think the crux of it, Tim, is educating people on having

honest conversations with God.

God can take your messy.

He can take your problems.

He can take your doubts, your fears, your insecurities.

have those conversations with him so that you can show up really authentic

and not trying to feel seen, known, and heard through likes on social media.

And that's the difference.

not using authenticity as a tactic.

a character trait.

I'm very similar.

I'm wired.

To desire significance.

That's the word that I've kind of come.

and some people, some of us use impact, some of us, you know,

whatever I desire to be significant.

And I believe that my journey has been part of God getting me to a place where

I'm okay with you being significant.

We just need to make sure we remember where that significance comes from.

Right.

so we we've only got a few minutes here melissa, but I want to i've loved

the conversation by the way but i'd like to leave with maybe just a few I

don't know, I don't even know if tips are the right word, but if you are

going to give someone a quick, I guess, either encouragement or a strategy

related to their personal brand, I mean, maybe even if you want to take me

Yeah.

what would you, Say to them and listen, I know you do this for people and before

Yeah.

We'll make sure people know how they could connect with you on

that But just what would you say?

What is some things that you are seeing quite a bit of that people

just need to know about personal

Yeah.

So, you know, personal branding is essentially like your reputation

or what you want to be known for.

and.

There's a lot of steps to take, but I'm going to give you just one.

And it's probably also what sets me apart too, as a believer, helping

people with this is the most important thing is finding out how God sees you.

And that for me.

Cause we see ourselves a certain way.

If you think about Moses, God called him to do something.

He saw himself as someone that stutters.

Whereas God saw a leader that would set people free.

And when I feel like how I have seen myself.

Like I just have, this is a picture of how I see myself.

I try and like, I have nails on that.

I tried to like making my nails look really nice and they fell off.

And so it's just like, I feel like I try and try to be like

put together and perfect.

And God constantly reminds me that I'm not, that I'm not, but.

I'll never forget, stepping out to pray for someone.

And I totally said something I shouldn't have put my foot in my mouth, felt

stupid, went in my car and was having this massive, like pity party for myself.

Like, Melissa, you're so this, you're so that blah, blah, blah.

And in the midst of that, I felt God almost like put his

chin and his hand like this.

Like he was looking at me and he said, Melissa, you're my ferocious babe.

And I just started crying, like I would never have put those words together,

but it just felt like he likes my personality, this like ferocious

kind of I'm trying and I'm figuring out and it's okay if it's messy, but

I'm just going to give you my best.

And then this babe part, which it's like, I'm his girl.

Like, I'm his daughter and he's okay with my mistakes and it gave me

permission to show up authentically.

And so when I'm working with people, that is one of the first questions that

I ask is, have you ever asked God, what he thinks about you, because it will be

part of the foundation as well, along with your story, along with things that you're

good at, what brings you energy, but it will give you insight into the foundation

of how you show up in the world.

So the fact that I created content in my car, the fact that I had a

video go viral on accident, like it's so on brand for me because I'm

God's ferocious babe and he's got me.

And so that would be step one.

I saw those words in the book when I was reading, I said, Oh, ferocious babe.

And the book was a little bit older.

I said, I wonder if she still considers herself a ferocious babe.

I do.

I will say, I love that you're calling yourself that for

that to come out of my mouth.

Doesn't seem quite appropriate to even reference you that way,

but anyway, we're all good here.

comfortable with that.

So,

Melissa, in light of all the conversation we've had, is there anything else

you would like to just add or say or

Yeah.

got one or two things and we'll wrap up here,

Yes.

if anything that I've said is helpful and you're like, okay, maybe I should just

start like sharing the message in my heart and I'm going to post the dang video.

I just want you to know you will feel cringey.

And just embrace the cringe and it feels awkward.

It feels cringey.

You feel stupid, but eventually the cringey, right?

We'll turn into confidence and you'll really start to find your voice.

Embrace the cringe.

It is the pathway to confidence.

Yeah, I'm thinking if there is there a book or a training or the title

of this episode to be cringy to confident or something like that.

I love, love the alliteration of value of Valley and I'm

sitting here thinking cringe to confidence or something like that.

I often have alliterations.

Melissa, I've loved this.

I know you've got the book, you've got the podcast, you've got your coaching,

I've got your website pulled up here.

If someone really wants to connect with you, where do they need to go?

And I know they've, there's places they could follow you, but where

do you want people to go if they're saying, I need more of Melissa?

Yeah.

I have a free resource, three steps to getting clarity on your brand

message that I would be happy to give your audience that will walk you

through step one, I find out what God says about you, but also some very

practical steps that you can take to start getting clarity On your message.

' cause if you're not clear, you can put out as much content as

you want and it won't resonate.

you can connect with me on Instagram at Melissa Lee Hughes or shoot me an

email at melissa@melissaleehughes.com.

Yeah, very good.

You got a great website.

I was able to get a lot of information there and

Thank you.

about you melissa.

We're seek go create those three words I'm going to allow you to choose one

of those words over the other two and why seek Go or create and don't

ever think it just which word jumps

Create.

the truth.

Yeah, go.

All right.

Why?

Create.

Well, God's a creator, and I think all of us are meant to create.

And when you step into that role as a creator, I really believe that you're

looking to solve problems and you're looking to, add value to the world.

And so stepping into the role is like, I'm going to create today.

You have to think about who you're creating for and what

it's going to be useful for.

So creating and expressing Christ in you is probably the one I would choose.

Awesome.

Thank you, Melissa.

And author of She Can Laugh that is on my Kindle here pulled up.

So check that out.

Connect with her.

And, I've enjoyed this.

I appreciate you allowing me to, be a little bit cynical.

to poke

Yeah.

bit and to, uh, I, I loved some of the dialogue we've had.

We're see, go create here.

I appreciate everyone listening in.

We have new episodes every Monday.

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Leave some comments below.

I'd love to hear comments on this episode about some of the, deeper topics

that we talked about, about who you are as you arrive at, moving towards

your personal brand and start doing things on these social media platforms.

We have.

New episodes every Monday until next time continue being all

that you were created to be.