Is confidence the secret to successful selling?

Jean Wright, a sales confidence coach, joins me to share her passion about helping women break free from the outdated, aggressive sales stereotypes. Jean shares her journey from selling Girl Scout cookies to becoming a sales pro, and how she learned to thrive by building relationships, not just closing deals. Her approach focuses on tapping into your authentic self, believing in your product, and developing the confidence to ask for what you’re worth.

Jean offers practical advice on how to move away from the fear of being "too salesy" and instead focus on the power of genuine connection. We also dive into the importance of trust, confidence, and the ability to stand firm when asking for what you’re worth in any sales conversation.

Highlights:

• Sales success is built on confidence and authenticity, not aggressive techniques.
• Building relationships and trust with customers is key to long-term success.
• Asking for money or closing a deal should come from a place of knowing your worth, not fear.
• Overcoming self-doubt in sales is a skill that can be learned and strengthened over time.
• Women in sales should use their natural empathy and communication skills to their advantage.

Connect with Jean:

Website: https://sellingyourconfidence.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeanwright-confidencebuilder/

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Jean. Hello everyone, and welcome to this

week's episode of relationships rule. My guest this week is Jean

Wright, and Jean and I have had a chance to visit a couple of

times, and I'm quite excited to share with you Jean's knowledge

and wisdom around selling, and not just selling, but selling

with confidence, and selling your confidence. And a little

bit also about Jean is that she is a well, let me just read a

little bit about her on her bio before I bring her to the table.

Jean is now a sales confidence builder, and as a speaker, is on

a mission to empower women's groups and solopreneurs alike,

showing them how to tap into their unique strengths and

become more confident in their sales abilities. She coaches

female entrepreneurs who are new to selling or feel stuck when it

comes to asking for the business. That's a big one. I

think Jean creates impact by transforming their mindset

around selling, empowering them to develop authentic

relationship, building skills, and helping them approach sales

with greater confidence. There is a lot more to Jean to Jean,

and I'm going to get into that with her. So welcome to the

show, Jean.

Thanks so much Janice for inviting me, and I'm

looking forward to our conversation. Absolutely, I'm

going to show the audience. I'm not well show the

audience. I'm going to show it for my purposes. I'm not on

video. But Jean has written this book called selling your

confidence forging a successful sales career from mint cookies

to martinis. And I love that which kind of spills the beans

about when you first started selling, because I remember

those Girl Guide cookies. And in fact, I just bought some of

those mint cookies last week from a Girl Guide locally.

Those, we call those here the American cookies, because we

didn't used to have them here. We only had the the chocolate

and vanilla basic cookies. Do you do you get those two or no?

Oh, there

are. There's a variety of choices, and the mint

is probably one of the most favorite. Yeah, my favorite of

all the cookies. Yeah.

So I want to start Jean by reading a little

quote from the from the preface of your book, because this is

what grabbed me. What I found is that selling is not about being

aggressive or shifty like a used car scammer. It's all about

having confidence in your ability to make connections with

your customer and sell well. And really making connections and

building relationships is what I'm all about. And so that just

sort of, you know, speak, it sings to me when I hear that,

because selling hasn't always really been that way. And I

wondered, after reading your book and and talking to you, I

wondered if, if selling was more in that, in your terminology,

aggressive, when it was more transactional, and some people

are still that way, but now it has shifted and it is more

relational. So I want to know your talk, your take on that.

I think that our culture, unfortunately has

cultivated throughout the decades the image of the

aggressive salesperson, and usually it's a man that we have

the image of a lot of women I know carry the baggage of the

experience they've had with the salesman or the salesperson who

was forcing them to make a decision they weren't ready to

make. They intimidated them because they had them feel like

they knew more than they did. So yeah, who am I to not buy this?

Because I don't understand it, so I'll just go with what they

tell me, and then now they're going to take my money. So there

is an unfortunate image that remains in our psyche about the

salesperson. And when women tell me, I am not a salesperson,

that's what they're thinking of. They're thinking of the sales

person. They've had the experience went with that was,

unfortunately, a bad and we're being sold to all the time, but

when we make the big ticket item purchase, or we're just not sure

about the product and what it's offering us, and we feel we're

being forced into a decision, then we get that, oh, that's a

salesperson. They're forcing me to do something. And women don't

have to be that way, and most likely, they're not. They're not

using those personality traits that they think they they're

really not that person, but they think they have to adopt those

traits to be a salesperson, and so that's where they have that

fear of, I'm not. A salesperson. I can't do this, and it's that

turns into a negative instead of a positive experience,

for sure. It makes me think back to the the

door to door sales people and the I mean, they're in your

home, but they kind of have you can't leave, right? So how much

that intimidation and so forth goes on back in the day? I'll

never forget this. This is kind of an aside, but when I was

young, newly married, and very mad at my husband, and it was my

starter marriage, not the one I'm in now, I um, a vacuum

cleaner salesman came to my door, and I was so mad at my

husband that I bought the vacuum cleaner. Like, that's how, you

know, like, they they were so, like, overpriced in those days,

but it was just one of those things. I'll never forget that.

Anyway, that's an aside. Okay, so you describe yourself as a

confidence builder, share a little bit about your journey,

because your book talks all about the different sales roles

that you've had, and how each one of them really has a played

a role in building your confidence. And so now you teach

other women, mostly, I think, to although I know you do sales

teams, and there may be men on there too as well, right? But

you teach them how to boost their confidence,

right? And I don't think that sales as a profession

has a the reputation as being a noble type of career because of

that image of the salesperson. So when I was in college and I

was learning about getting into the field, I wanted to get into,

which, in my case, was communications and the media.

You know, it was all about, let's train you to be on the

air. Let's train you to be in production, all that. But guess

what? There are people out there that are selling advertising so

that they'll pay your salary. And so there wasn't the

description of all the options to all the career paths to go

into in a sales realm. So I kind of found myself in it by

accident, you know, working with people who are looking for a

sales rep, well, what's a sales rep or marketing rep? That was

like the term. We want you to go out and talk to people in the

neighborhood or in the city and tell them about our services and

bring them on as a client. And you have to know that we are the

best product ever, and we're going to change their lives. And

it's going to be, we're we're going to compete with everybody

else, but you're going to tell them we're number one. And you

know where I had that first opportunity to do that, in

Washington, DC, in the biggest town I've ever worked in at the

time, it was one of my first jobs, and I was sent out on the

street, and there I was knocking on doors, presenting myself, and

what I realized was the reason I was hired was whenever the man

who owned the business said to me, eventually, I said, so Why

don't you hire me? Because I came from out of town. I was

just looking for a job to get started. He said, You know what?

You dressed for success. You and in that town, in the town that I

that I was in Washington town, the city, it's a very

conservative and very dressy business place. And so I, I

adopted that look because I knew that's what they're looking for.

So the dress for success stayed with me, and I felt

professional. I felt like I was representing his brand the way

he wanted me to, and I was speaking the way he had. They

had trained me to speak about the business. So that confidence

I was given, kind of an approval on how I presented myself, and

then I took it from there to present my confidence in the

business that I was representing. So I felt good

about myself. I got that little bit of approval that helped me

walk out the door, and then I had to knock on those doors to

talk to the people about the business. And the more

experience I had opening the door and presenting myself and

talking about the business and telling them why we were the

best in town, was how I just developed my style, why people

like me. There were things that I just took through my career as

to why people wanted to work with me. I didn't really know

what it was, but it was something about how I presented

myself, my knowledge, my warmth and that I care. About building

the relationship so that we could work together. Made the

difference. Okay? So I

wanted to break that down a little bit, because

my um perception of sales has always been, well, in one

aspect, there's I have my own experience in another model of

selling. But this, I'm thinking traditional. And I'm thinking,

if you want to make money, this is my head, if you want to make

money, get into sales, because you're you're not limited, as

you are, in a salaried position. But some companies it's salary

anyway, and some companies it's salary plus commission, and some

is just commission. But the real sales people are on commission.

They only have themselves to answer, you know, like, right,

right? It's all related to how much they do and and the sky's

the limit, and that's where the money is. That's my perception

that going along the years and and so you have to be confident

in yourself and in what you can do to be able to be successful

in that now, when you were doing that particular job, and it was

you early in your career, were you probably on on salary,

probably not on commission at that point,

right? We received a salary plus commission on on

our accounts, okay, but the

thing that I'm quite I'm going to ask you is,

were you that early on, were you not attached to the outcome? Did

you learn that early on? Because to also be a good salesperson, I

believe you have to not be attached to the outcome,

otherwise it can bring you down. And then you you know, like I

knew someone once who was selling. I think it was life

insurance. And he'd make a sale, and then he'd go celebrate as if

it was a like, you know, a big deal. Well, that's his job. He

was supposed to be selling. So you don't stop and celebrate and

then do nothing for another month, you know? Yeah,

right, right. Well, I was the first time, but

interesting lately enough, I said to this boss I had, it was

a husband and a wife who owned this big this company, and I was

so proud of myself that I was bringing a new business. And I

said to him, Wow, isn't it great, you've got some new

clients that I brought in. He said, That's what I hired you to

do exactly. Now continue doing that exactly, and then I kind of

set the bar, because he appreciated it, but said, Well,

yeah, that's what I expected. And and I was so excited,

because, of course, this is exciting. I bring in business.

So the next level was after I established my accounts, and

after I was doing well, we have another office. We're going to

open. We want you to go and run that office right? Do I have a

choice? No, we have a lot of confidence in you that you can

do this for us, and we're going to send you there now. And so

the next, the next level of the bar was set. And you know, it's

almost like Be careful what you're doing, you're asking for

the next challenge. But I wanted that, and that's what turned

into be I love the thrill of the hunt, and I also like the next

challenge. So it was bring in more. I really love getting, you

know, bringing in the new clients. But I wanted more

responsibility, and I wanted to test my skills to lead people,

to manage a staff and to conquer a new territory. How exciting

was that I conquered that other one, and now I'm moving on to

the next one. So that was really wonderful to feel that way in a

doing this new and I never sold like that before, being

successful and getting the confirmation from the employer

that I can even do more, because they saw that in me. They saw

something in me that they knew I couldn't help them achieve more

for the company, of course, they want to make money, of course,

and I wanted to branch out and and see what I could do with

that. So I was grateful for the opportunity that they offered

me.

Do you see today in the I'm sure you're you come

across a lot of younger people that you're training or that

you're meeting and that you're speaking, do you see anything

specific that's different in them today than when you and I

were younger and when you were first starting out? Do you see

anything major that's different? Yeah.

I see and the younger women that I talk to,

they have they don't always have the support from like how they

were brought up to feel good about themselves in what they're

doing to promote themselves, present themselves. They need a

little more help with that. I was very fortunate, because my

mother had a business mind, and she was always telling me how to

dress and look professional, speak the right way, so that

people understand you're intelligent. And there are women

that don't get a lot of that really, or just from well, some

of the ones that I work with, and not that they're not

professional on how they are now in their career. But we need

help from every what, every area you know. We need mentors,

people that we work with. But we also need that basic because I

can sometimes look at somebody and think to myself, why did you

walk out the door looking like that today. I would not, I would

not present myself today looking that way if you were going to a

meeting. And I don't know if they don't think about it in

those terms of the professional look. I don't mean to wear a

jack suit jacket. I know what you mean, representing your

brand, or, you know, kind of understanding that we're not

always casual. We need to look the parts, and I find that the

hardest thing to face with some younger people right now. Well,

that's interesting, because I wouldn't

have thought that being that prevalent, but because style is

different today, for sure, as what is, yeah,

there's professional casual style too.

Yes, okay, yes,

for sure. And I mean, first impressions, right?

First impressions,

that's the thing. That's the thing. And if they're

saying I'm not getting respect in the meeting, or they don't

seem to want to refer me to anybody, they're not taking me

seriously. And I think to myself, you're just not looking

the part. Yeah, so let's that's up. That's up at a bit. And it's

not because you're a woman, it's, I think men and women, I

have to be aware of that. But I'm talking to women about

confidence, and I think if you can feel good about yourself and

how you look, that's just the first step, for sure.

I also think, I also think it's different in the

east to the west.

We're very different. Yes, we're

laid back over on the West Coast, you know, we, we

don't like Vancouver, but we're kind of like Hollywood north.

We, we look at, you know, we're west coast, outdoorsy, you know,

casual. We're not like Washington, DC and New York and

Montreal, right? I agree with you, different, yeah, but, but

it's just, and then also you look at, you know, the the likes

of Steve Jobs and what he presented and and, yes, now that

kind of the the Silicon Valley. Look, you know what I mean?

Yeah, well,

yeah, but, well, I think what I'm getting at is

more the confidence in no idea how you feel about yourself. But

I do agree with you, because I did work on the West Coast. I

worked in LA for one of my jobs, for a year in Hollywood,

actually. And there I was coming from Washington, DC, all

buttoned up a few decades ago, but, and I'm looking at this

executive that I'm speaking with, and she's just a whole

different style and a look. And of course, it's the

entertainment industry, yeah. But it was shocking and it was

different. And then I had to adjust myself into, okay, this

is how I'm going to dress myself. And it was so

professional, but it was a different style. Yeah, totally,

yeah. That's why they call them the suits, right?

Because the executives are the only do that in, right, right.

Okay, so confidence and trust go hand in hand. How do you help

people foster genuine trust in relationships, whether personal

or professional and and what tips do you have for maintaining

trust over time?

I think trust occurs with Okay? In an

interaction when you're speaking to somebody, and you, first of

all, if you're representing a product or a service, you have

to believe in it, and you have to understand how it works, so

that you know what it is that you're presenting to them is

going to help them and it's going to solve their problem.

Okay, so right away, when I'm being open and honest about

that, not thinking, Oh, I'm going to make a commission off

of this, and I better get through this quickly, because I

just want them to buy it. That's not the way you want to come

across. You want to you want to be able to listen first to what

their problems are. Are how you can solve that with the products

or services you're offering. And that, I think, is the beginning

of developing the trust and explaining to people that you

have clients that have found your product to help them as

well. And you know, talk about the story that you can relate

to, who you've helped, how they've improved their life, or

whatever it is that you're offering that's going to make a

difference. And having that one on one and that direct. And then

here's another thing about just being in person is that eye

contact and showing people that if I'm talking to someone and

they're not looking at me and they're looking down and they're

trying to convince me to do something, it's just really hard

for me to trust them and being sincere. And I think women have

the ability to have that sincerity and empathy, and they

should use it to their advantage to pull people in, so that you

can start developing that trust and that relationship that bonds

people together, and they feel that okay, they've explained

everything to me. They're looking at me. They're, they're,

they're feeling my pain, and I think I'm going to trust the

fact that they're going to help me. And there's a lot of body

language involved too. So, yeah,

totally. But if you're not in person, then it's

your voice and your influence. Yeah,

exactly right. Yes. It's

funny. I went to my husband, I went to a store

the other day to I have to get new tires for my car. And we

went to this place that was he'd been to a few places to check

out or he called to get pricing. And then we went to this place

that was close by, and the woman that helped us at the service

desk, young woman, and she started telling us the

difference between the different tires and what she recommended.

And I loved her confidence in what her and she knew her

products, that that's what convinced me, that that's where

I wanted to bring my car. And yeah, and you know, in that

environment, she was a woman, which was unusual, and she, she

really knew her stuff. So I, when I phoned to make the

appointment, I made sure that I talked to her again, and I asked

her a couple other questions and and what she, you know, I just,

I was impressed with that confidence.

Because, number one, you didn't expect in that

industry, right, there would be a woman who was so knowledgeable

about that, and I have talked to women who own businesses. They

they are businesses that you would not be traditionally,

yeah, be run by a woman, or work there. And they do have and then

those women, sometimes, you know, they come from a diverse

background, and then that's another thing that's not in

their favor. When they're trying to talk to people and be like, I

know my stuff. I am knowledgeable. And really you

have to look past my you know, my color, or that I'm a woman,

my gender, you know, and that is very difficult for many women

today, who are owned businesses that are unconventional for a

female to be part of, and it's, it's a bit of a struggle, but

they're the ones that I know that that do these businesses,

that run these businesses. They are straw. They are women that

have a purpose, and they're just going to keep you know, showing

that they they are confident about what they know about their

product, and that they're going to help you, and that you know,

you don't have to think about the fact that a woman is, you

know, and it's a non traditional role, right, right? There's a

lot of things people overcome today that's an issue, but I see

some confident women out there that are very successful. And I

I'm just like, you. I'm like, yay. This is great.

That's really good. I remember few years ago,

several years ago, I did some teaching up at an extension

program up at the local college, and it was an entrepreneur group

of people, and one of the I was asked to come in and talk about

networking. And I'll never forget this, because I had the

the class break out into groups. This is in person. And you know,

as if they were at a networking event, and I would go around and

sort of talk to each group and see what they were up to. And

there was a woman in this small group of people who kind of

stood back a little bit, and. She was from Iran. I think it

was. And so there's a lot of Iranians that had moved to

Vancouver. A lot of them had come from Uganda and whatever at

this later times. And so they were here, and she was, she, I

said something to her about, you know, not taking part, and she

wasn't. It was a cultural thing that she that I hadn't learned

about at that point, and I realized how strong it was for

her, and that she had to be behind the men, she had to be

deaf, deferential. Is that the word Yeah, yeah to them, and to

be in North America and learn those customs is hard and

difficult and brand new for women in that that come from

those kinds of cultures. So that was a real eye opener for me

back then, that you know, that woman could be a real confident

woman in certain areas, but she'd never been able to be that

way. So when they come here, it's very interesting, I think,

to see so many women. In particular, I have this thing

about when, you know, when in Rome do as the Romans do, but

it's very hard for a lot of them to do that, because they go home

to to their family, in their home in, you know, Vancouver, or

wherever they are, and it's still traditional cultural so

they don't, yeah, so do you ever come across that today, even

with women from other cultures, because they're everywhere. So I

just wonder,

well, yeah, I know a woman who is from South

America, and she worked in a construction she came up to the

United States and started like in Florida, and then she kept

going north, but she talked about working in an office in a

construction kind of business. And then she got to really

understand the inner workings of how the construction business

is. And she felt very confident that she could maybe go out on

her own and build a business of her own. And so she, she did

that. And so she had to overcome those stereotypes first that,

yeah, she she had a, you know, she has an accent. She's from

that country. So right away, a lot of people just think maybe

you're not educated, and that's not the case at all. And then

that she was a woman, and what did she know? And she really

felt like there was a lot to overcome as an immigrant and

then as a woman, and then in the construction industry. So wow,

a lot of No, yeah,

there's a lot. There's a lot. So I've seen

that in the automotive industry too, where

women right? Just yeah. So you must speak to, do you talk to,

like the sales managers? Do you talk to the business owners who

are looking to help their teams increase?

I focus more on entrepreneurial women, okay,

because I find they wear so many hats. They have a passion for

their product, and they're really excited about it in the

market, putting it in the marketplace, and then they say,

oh, but I've got to sell it. And that's where we get that fear of

I don't have time to be a salesperson. I don't have money

to hire somebody to sell for me, but I have to do it, and I have

to figure out a way to sell, and it's frustrating to them. So

it's a little bit sorry.

I'm sorry. I

know that's fine about this,

because, um, if it's their own business or their

own service, their own product, you would think that they were,

they're certainly passionate enough about it that they would

that that would come naturally. But I guess it doesn't.

They don't want to ask for the money. They don't

that's the worth. Am I worth it? How much do I charge for this?

There are a lot of women out there who coach. There are a lot

of women who have businesses that are service oriented. They

have to set pricing. They don't know for sure. If it's where am

I in the marketplace? Maybe I'll just start them out for free

first and see where it goes. I mean, we all like to give

something. Oh, you're so right. You're so right, yeah, okay. And

I think it's how we grow up, like, don't ask for money for

that. Like, what do you know? You don't have all that

education that you should feel worthy to ask for that. And I

think even when we're doing our our life dream you think, Oh, I

know so much. I just give it. I'll just give my knowledge away

for free. And that's not fair. Think of how much your knowledge

and experience is worth.

I actually experienced this yesterday. I

had been referred a client, a prospect, had been referred to

me, who owns he's a doctor, and he. He, He owns a clinic, a

couple of clinics, and we were talking about LinkedIn, and what

I could do for him to help him with this LinkedIn, because of a

project that was going on. And I said, this is what it would cost

to do my to do your profile. And he, he said, he, said, What did

he say? He said something about, oh, that's a little high, or

something like that. And I said, I said, really. I said, I tell

you what. I said, I am not the the lowest price, but I'm not

the highest price either. And I said, I think you'll get great

value out of what I will do for you. And I think you'll, you

know, whatever, but that, that's the long time coming for me,

because couple of years ago, if he'd said that to me, I might

have said, well, let's do it for such and such instead, I could

bring my price down, right? But it I didn't. And then he said to

me, he said, I'm from Nigeria, and I have to, I have to say

that. He said they're taught

to do that, barter, negotiate, that's the thing.

And I said, Thank you for sharing that. I said,

but I think that you'll find that it's worth it. And that's

all I said. So I have not job yet, but we'll see. You know

that's like when people say that's too expensive,

well, but what? What were you expecting? How? What is

expensive to you? Because, and there are also people with

preconceived notions about when I was selling advertising for

television and then also advertising for print, and a

client that I'd been working with for print and then I

switched jobs, they'd say, Oh, I'm never gonna be able to

afford you. I can't pay for television. Do you even know how

much it costs? Well, I just know it's gonna be expensive. So

let's just talk, and it's educate you about what it is

that you're getting for the money you're spending. And

expensive to you, maybe 10s of 1000s of dollars. And that's

really what it was. They were thinking 1000s of dollars more

than it actually costs. And you need to have a conversation,

absolutely. Let's get down to what this is that we're

offering, and then what it's the value that you're going to

receive for that.

And I love that, though, that that's a big issue

for women and their confidence is knowing what to charge and

being and standing in their power, yes, standing in their

car and asking for the sale. Yes.

And you know, I'm happy to negotiate a bit on a

price point, but I don't want to devalue my product, because it

comes to a point where once I give it away, then what value is

left? Well, they're not. They're just getting a deal. And there's

always benefiting you, and there's always that,

that thing, like yesterday, I had a little toddler, my

granddaughter's bike, her old bike has been sitting in the

garage at my house, and I said, we have to sell it. Let's get it

out of here. So I sold two of them, but the second one I was

saving because this guy said I'm coming next Saturday to get the

bike. I said, fine, no problem. Then he tells me his old girl

didn't want that color. So I put it up on Facebook marketplace

yesterday. In half an hour, I had six people that wanted the

bike, and this first one, the woman said, I'm coming to get

it. I'll be there in 20 minutes. I said, Fine. And it was like 50

bucks. And then when she came, gave me the $50 never even

looked much at the bike, other than my son already has a red

one. He'll love this red bike. And I thought, could I have sold

it for more? Like, you know, it's so

funny when you go through and high so that when

you have to go down, it's you're still making, yeah, you know,

bit of a profit. I was just happy that it was

going to a good home. But don't get me wrong,

but, but the thing is that you start to question, right? You

start to question yourself. Yeah,

that was too easy. Wow, did I devalue that really

quickly. But, yeah, I think it just depends on your

circumstance. But I always feel that you can never go up, you

can always go down. And then you know how low you can go before

you have to say, That's my final, you know, call. So, yeah,

it's, it gets to be a little tricky sometimes. But the value

is, you definitely have to remember there is value

so do you. Can you recall a story that one of

your clients went from non confident to confident and

shared with you something that was a big aha moment for them.

Does anything come to mind with one of your, your recent

clients,

oh, I have some, someone I'm working with who was

transitioning from a job that thought you were

gonna say, transitioning from male to

female. Oh, no, no, no. She

was transitioning, which is fine. Yeah, that a job

that was uh. Uh, not going the direction she wanted to, and it

was a smaller practice, and she felt like it was a little more

male dominated, and she was being seen for who she was. And

she's young, but she has her credentials, and she has

opportunities that she was exploring. And she said to me,

you know, we talked about, how do you feel about yourself when

you're presenting yourself and standing up to people who are

should be treating you at their level, at the level you deserve,

and speak up about it. And she started doing that with the

person she was working for, and then she had an opportunity to

look into another position for a bigger company that would give

her more opportunity to show that her worth and to be on that

level that she needs to be. And I even helped her with her

resume, to to really just help her shine more, because she

needed that to present to the interviewer, and she just said,

I have to be honest with you, I don't get and this is the thing

about the support network that she needed to talk to, people

that loved her, that weren't there for her, you know, like

people that she Were in her family, she needed to look out

elsewhere to find some type of mentor that has been out there

doing things in the business world, like me. And it was I was

just doing what I felt was going to be helpful to her in every

way, to stand up to people, to show her value, because she has

value and to pump up her herself, but she talks about

herself and her resume and how she appears, even on LinkedIn.

We talked a little bit about that, and she just told me how

much everything that she learned from me and my book was so

helpful to her, and I just feel I'm doing it's good when you

have someone outside the box looking in, and I feel like I

did what I could that she asked me to do, and I did give her

what she needed, but to her, it was like a million dollars that

I gave her To help her feel more confident.

So, yeah, that's the special kind of work that

you do, yeah.

So I think the whole thing about selling is, I

encourage people to take a course on the basics of sales,

you know, networking, prospecting, present, presenting

a product, closing, asking for the money, follow up, customer

service, all that. But what they don't tell you. When you take

this training classes, and I've took many, taken many of them,

wherever I've worked, everybody has their way that they want you

to sell, right? But how do you really feel about it? You know,

it's a it's a lonely sport, I feel that whenever I've been on

a sales team, we're all in our we're on a team, but we're doing

our individual thing, and it's good. You're out there, yeah,

you're out there in the territory, or you're making the

calls, or you do but it's you have to motivate yourself. Yeah,

you have you get those days where you're not getting

anywhere, and you have to, you're constantly thinking and

doing that introspection of, what did I do right today? What

did I do right? How did would this have gone better? And

that's good, but you do have to work it on, it yourself a lot.

It's a lot of self motivation. And you know that you have to

report in you have quotas, you have team, Team contests, you

have all those things, but in the end, it's you that has to

produce. And how do you feel? And sometimes I speak with women

who look from the outside, they have it all together. They have

a professional feel about them. They seem to be successful in

their businesses, and then they tell me, you know, I really have

trouble asking for the money. It is the worst part of my job. And

I'm thinking, Well, you seem like you know what you're doing.

Yeah, not this inner thing. Or I can't do follow up very well.

I'm afraid to call people back. How long do I wait? Are they

ghosting me? Forever? Will I be able to close it's just and

nobody's really helping them with that, especially if they're

on their own and they have their own business, or they're one of

just maybe a couple people in an office that's small business. No

one's there to really train them and explain to them. Well, this

is how it works. This is what happens sometimes with people.

This is how you should think about it. And here are some tips

for doing some follow ups, and how to reach people and maybe

get an answer faster because you're asking the right

questions. So you know, those are the things that people need

help with.

Yes, and it may seem really Elementary to you or

I, in some of those cases, I remember when I learned that and

I didn't formally learn how to be a salesperson. I did those

things that you did. I've taken a couple of sales courses, and

I've, you know, I've tried to learn, but it one was about I

mentioned earlier about not being attached to the outcome,

and the other one is, don't leave a meeting without booking

the next meeting, because it takes a while to the sales cycle

in different things is, is, you know, longer or shorter, and

with different people, it's longer or shorter, depending on

who's making the decisions. So, yeah, the follow ups easier if

you book the next meeting. I

always say, once they walk out that door, they

may be gone forever, because you either did not set a mutual time

to reconnect, you didn't have a, you know, an idea of where you

stood in the process with them, and they're gone, or I'm just

going to take this I used to do some home based business

selling, and there would be women that would come to the

event, this is many years ago, but they would sit there and

say, um, I'm not ready to place an order, but I'm going to take

the catalog Home, and I'll call you. And I knew that was it.

They weren't going to I was probably never going to hear

from them again. I could call them and I would, but that was

their non committal. I don't think I can. I don't know what

their reasons were. They either couldn't afford it, they

couldn't decide, or they had a question about something that,

if I could answer it would help them make a decision. Yeah. So

there's so many reasons why people don't make a decision or

walk out the door, but you may never see them again. That's so

true. That's what I always say. Have that mutual agreement to

reconnect? Absolutely, one of the best tips I can provide.

Like you said,

yeah, exactly. Well, this has been great. I

have one, two more questions for you. One is, what advice? What's

your biggest piece of advice? What's the one thing that you

love to share with people who struggle with self doubt and its

impact on their ability to market themselves or or sell and

build me meaningful business relationships. What's the one

thing for you? So this

is just like a few sentences that I can tell you

that all kind of mean the same thing, but it's all about

understanding that you're selling every day, and just feel

positive that your sales skills are good, and just let go of

those sales images that are negative and holding you back.

And so as long as you're authentic and know that you're

the expert about what it is you have to offer that helps build a

more confident mindset, it's all about just talking to yourself

that you are the expert you you're selling every day,

whether you know it or not, and your persuasive skills will, in

the end, be helpful to you to get an answer make the sale. Use

that ability as a woman to be empathetic and and solve

people's problems. It's you have it and use it. It's there.

Thank you. Okay. Last question, um, I love the

word curiosity. I think um, Curiosity can be the backbone of

good sales can be. I'm not saying it's the only or has to

be, but my question for you is, do you believe that curiosity is

innate or learned? And part two is, what are you most curious

about these days?

Well, I think we all can be curious, but I don't

always think I am curious enough. I I've always interested

in learning, if that's being curious. I guess inquisitive is

another word for that. Just kind of wanting to know a little bit

more about something that I've heard about, or I love listening

to podcasts, so I want to I delve into, I really enjoy sales

podcast, believe it or not, and I like to learn more to help me

feel even more confident about what I'm telling people. Because

if I can get something I'm curious about, like, how do they

feel about this one particular aspect of selling? And I try to

match it and see if I'm also on that same wavelength, because we

all need a little bit of confirmation that what we're

talking about is true and it's also valid. Validates. Valid.

The more curious I am about well, how do they feel about it?

And there are some people that are writing books about this

too, where they're speaking about it, and I want to be sure

that I feel. Validated and also curious about their thoughts. So

I'd like hearing what people I love opinions. So I like hearing

other people's opinions so I can form my own opinion or change my

mind about something. So that's where my curiosity comes in.

Okay, in those areas,

do you think it's innate or learned?

I think it's more learned. I think you have to

work on it a little bit. Okay, that's

cool. All right. So thank you again for being

here. Thank you to my audience. I'm going to put your book up

again for those who actually will see this, and for those who

don't. Jean's book is called selling your confidence, forging

a successful sales career from mink cookies to martinis. And I

would, I will put the link in the in the show notes so people

can buy it. It's worth it. It's a quick read, and it's

enjoyable, and it's really tells Jean story of how she learned to

be a great salesperson and and teach others how to do the same.

By the way, one last thing, I was at the grocery store the

other day, and there were two girls, they are selling mint

cookies, Girl Guide cookies. One was outside and one was just

sort of in the entrance. And I always watch these young girls

to see who's selling and who's just standing there. And it's

really a shame when they're just standing there and not

interacting with people because they haven't had any any advice

or training from their moms or the the leader to not be

aggressive, but show some personality and sell those

cookies so

well. Yeah, in my opinion, too, I find more girls

seem to be more passionate about the cookies. I always tell

people, I wish we could continue to be 11 year olds as we get

older. For the girls who are just so they have no baggage,

they're just saying, buy those cookies. I love them. You're

going to love them too. How many boxes you want and asking my

favorite Yep, ask my favorite one. Yeah, exactly. So for the

girls that are putting themselves out there, I commend

them for just being themselves, being authentic, and if we could

carry that through our lives, I do meet some women today that

say I hated selling girls got cookies, and that's okay. I

mean, that just wasn't their thing. I guess they didn't get

trained, or they feeling like they had the support. But on the

whole, I do see a lot of excitement and enthusiasm from

the girls, and I feel that they need to bottle that and keep

that because in 20 years, they're going to need that

energy again, exactly,

exactly, well, this has been delightful. Thank

you, Jean. Thank you again. And to my audience, if you like,

what you heard, let us know and remember to stay connected and

be remembered. You.