This is a special episode all about grief. We have all experienced loss in the last year, some more than others. Glenn goes one on one with the amazing Kim Walnes to explore what she has learned in the 30 years since her daughter was murdered at college. A serious and important discussion in a unique time....
I can’t quite wrap my head around the fact that it’s been thirty years since my daughter, Andrea’s (Andy’s) abduction and murder. I am not the only one…many still communicate with me about how much she affected them in her eighteen years of life, as well as others who have developed a closeness with her after her death.
I have so much to be grateful for…I am much closer to Andy now than in the years right after her death. I have but to reach out in my mind and heart, and right away her presence fills me with Love. I can’t begin to find words for how much that comforts me.
Since grief, loss, and disappointment are pretty common in today’s world, I thought I would share some of what I’ve learned in the past 30 years, through multiple losses and traumatic events:
Everyone grieves at some point.
Everyone’s process is unique.
There is absolutely no timetable for grief, loss, and disappointment.
Clinging to grief, anger, and frustration can act as barriers to connecting beyond this world.
Meditation is one of the best balms ever.
No one--absolutely no one--can comfort me the way I or connecting with Andy can.
Longing for what might have been is not only fruitless, but for me constitutes torture.
It IS possible to return to Joy.
Laughter is not a betrayal or a denial of your loss. It is a sign of being in the moment and receiving Goodness from what surrounds you. Seize those moments and treasure them.
A major loss does NOT have to define you. I had to recognize and release that in myself before I could truly heal.
Love, Andy constantly reminds me, is part and parcel of everything around us. We just have to pay attention and receive it.
Is it possible to reach back through the decades and bring back the unspeakable pain of that time? Absolutely…it is burned into my soul. However, I do not choose to do so. I much prefer to relate to Andy as she is now…not the18 year old daughter frozen in childhood, but a Divine Presence who has Wisdom far beyond my human understanding, and who brings comfort to this tender heart.