🎙️ This week on The Carbon Footprint

• Our blind loyalty to sports teams
• How much would it take to sleep with ____? Everyone’s got a number, and half of you are out here giving Groupon prices.
• A teen mistaken for a squirrel — a tragic reminder that natural selection’s still putting in overtime.
• And Home Depot offering trade certifications — noble move, or just a quiet way to replace the workers already standing in the parking lot?

Dark humor, bad takes, and questionable morals — you already know what it is.