Artwork for podcast The Grief Code
Optional or Necessity?
Episode 22126th September 2022 • The Grief Code • Ian Hawkins
00:00:00 00:08:12

Share Episode


Episode Summary

In this episode, Ian speaks about learning to differentiate the things that are necessary from the things that can be treated as optional. He further talks about the importance of taking the time to sort out your priorities.

Don’t miss:

  • Learning a deeper sense and perspective on satisfaction and fulfillment.
  • Achieving a better clarity on where you are heading to know the steps you need to take towards the successful path.
  • Acknowledge that you have all the support when you are on the right path.
  • Setting goals, reaching them gradually, and recognizing their positive impact on your life.

About the Host:

Ian Hawkins is the Founder and Host of The Grief Code. Dealing with grief firsthand with the passing of his father back in 2005 planted the seed in Ian to discover what personal freedom and legacy truly are. This experience was the start of his journey to healing the unresolved and unknown grief that was negatively impacting every area of his life. Leaning into his own intuition led him to leave corporate and follow his purpose of creating connections for himself and others. 

The Grief Code is a divinely guided process that enables every living person to uncover their unresolved and unknown grief and dramatically change their lives and the lives of those they love. Thousands of people have now moved from loss to light following this exact process. 

Check Me Out On:

Join The Grief Code Facebook group:




Start your healing journey with my FREE Start Program 

I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Coach podcast, thank you so much for listening. 

Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. 

If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief, let's chat. Email me at

You can also stay connected with me by joining The Grief Code community at and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal, please subscribe and leave a review on your favourite podcast platform.


Ian Hawkins 0:02

Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfillment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back, you've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it, and what to do next. Before we start by one request, if any new insights or awareness land with you during this episode, please send me an email at info at the and Hawkins And let me know what you found. I know the power of this work, I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it.

Good day all. So often in life, we're faced with this question that I've posed, they're necessary or or optional. Now, there are some basic needs we have which are necessary for our survival for our life. But there's a whole lot of stuff in our life that's optional, which we lead ourselves to believe, unnecessary. So what am i What do I mean by that? Used to have a think about how many different things you get caught up in, which you feel is just so necessary, and you put all this pressure on yourself, to, to do it, to have it to achieve it. And you're often chasing in the wrong place, right? Because then you actually get to that next moment, or you get that next thing or you experience what it is you thought was the next necessary thing only to find that the same patterns playing out, you're not feeling how you want to feel, and you don't have in your life what you want to have. So it's a great question to ask, is this actually necessary? And if it is, why, and if it's not, why am I even going after? Great questions to ask. Now, the easiest way to find out in your life, whether something is actually necessary or not, or whether it's just optional, is to get real clear on where you're heading. So do you have a vision for your future? Do you have goals that you want to achieve? You're a naturally competitive person, right? You'd love to continue to strive to be your best and to win and to keep ticking off those milestones. Because there's so much fulfillment and satisfaction when you do. Unless you've got clarity on where you're heading and what you want life to look like and what else you want to be successful at what else you want to win at. What else you want to be able to back yourself to do to allow you the freedom to live how you want. Unless you know what that is, then you weren't able to answer that question. Is it optional? Or is it necessary to take the time to get that clarity, take the time to start setting out that map for your future. Take the time to create a direction for your life. That you can have absolute clarity on where you're heading. Know that you're taking the right steps and have the support to that you know that you're on the right path. For me, that was something I'd never done. And I guess that's why when when my dad passed, it was such a massive shock to the system because I had no way of navigating my way out of it. And I dabble with a little bit of goal setting here and there but nothing of any note or anything that had had an impact there for you wherever you're at. You don't need to sink down into a really dark space to be able to take those steps. You've already had those moments in your life. You've already had those big setbacks. Don't keep waiting for the next one. Don't keep waiting for the next big moment. You've already had time to start setting yourself on that pathway creating that clear vision. Now,

pen to paper typing about writing an imagery, using photos, whatever it is, but the clearer you can get on that path, and then reverse engineer from, where you wanting to go, what you want him to have into your life and then working out, well, what are the steps to get there? If that's where I want to get, and this is where I'm at now? Well, what, what needs to happen to get you there? What needs to change? What do you need to stop doing? What do you need to keep doing? And what do you need to start doing? And when you can answer those questions, then you'll have the clarity, then you'll be able to answer that question with absolute certainty every time is this a necessity? Or is it actually just optional? And if the option is to take you towards that future vision, then it's an option worth taking? If it's not, then the question is, why would you bother? Wouldn't it be better to invest your time, energy, and everything you have into something that you really want? Life's too short to be being stuck being on the treadmill. Stuck in the constant loop that's repeating over and over again, leave you feeling inadequate, and so many different areas again, and again. It's time for action, it's time to build this vision for your future. Start taking action. And of course, if this is something that you would want help with, then jump onto any more pages and have a look, I actually have a specific program called direction. It's stuff that I've taught for at least 10 years, it's it's the early days of my growth of me starting to be able to put structures in place. Now. I've gotten better at that. And I've refined the process. So it's not just those things I learned the early days. But those foundational things are still there. I've just added the different elements. And as always reach out if you have any questions, I'd love to speak to you and I'd love to hear from you. Have an awesome day. Speak to you soon.

I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Code podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief. Let's chat. Email me at info at Ian Hawkins You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at Ian Hawkins forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform