Ever wondered what it would feel like to discover a sibling you never knew you had?

In this insightful episode of Family Twist, hosts Corey and Kendall Stulce revisit conversations with Kendall’s half-siblings. Listen as they explore the deep emotional landscapes revealed through their familial connections, offering listeners a glimpse into the complexities of reuniting with long-lost relatives. The episode is rich with reflections on past dialogues, delving into personal stories that highlight the significant emotional undertones of their discoveries.

Discovering and Connecting with Long-Lost Siblings

Listeners will gain:

• A unique insight into the emotional nuances and challenges that come with discovering and connecting with long-lost siblings.
• An understanding of the complexities involved in merging past histories and new relationships within family dynamics.
• Strategies for approaching newfound family connections with sensitivity and empathy, as demonstrated through Kendall’s personal experiences.

Tune in to hear Kendall and Corey unwrap layers of family history and emotional revelations, offering a compelling narrative that connects the past with the present. Discover the intricacies of forming bonds with newfound siblings, and perhaps find the courage to explore your own family mysteries.

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Family Twist, a podcast about relatively unusual stories of long lost families, adoption, and lots of drama. I'm Corey. And I'm Kendall, and we've been partners for over 16 years.

Welcome back to Family Twist. If you've been listening throughout this series, you know that Cory and I have spoken to three of my six half siblings. We've spoken to my dad's son, Chris, my dad's daughter, Monica, and my mother's daughter, Stephanie.

And what we thought we'd do on this episode is listen to some clips again and give you guys as listeners some of our thoughts about the way that those conversations went. We chose some clips that stood out to us. Like the Chris clips, he's talking a little bit about information from his dad, how Kendall came to be, how they live on the base and that the reason that Chris wasn't named Scott was that Kendall was already named Scott.

He went on to explain that your name was Scott and that's all he knew. They were transferred off base out of Otis Air Force Base. They were transferred away and they kept in touch through letter a few times, never spoke again. He didn't know anything after that. That was it. Just that I was born. Just that, yeah, that he knew you were there and that the reason I wasn't named Scott was because you were already named Scott, my middle name Scott. So something just literally popped into my head. And I don't know if you've thought about this before, but

a very short period of time. You were a junior. You were Scott. Well, I mean, yes, but I didn't have the last name. True. True. The junior wasn't part of my name either, of course, because she didn't give me dad's last name. But I get it. I get what you're saying. Yeah. Your name has changed a couple of times. It has. Well, and you know, keep in mind too, dad's first name is Walter. So dad is Walter Scott Clark. And I was never anything but.

Scott White. So, you know, Walter wasn't part of it at all for me. Do we know how he went from being known as Walter to Scott? Because I know your uncle Sean calls him Wally. Yeah, I think that's just a family thing. Because I think even all through school, dad was called Scott and uncle Sean was called Sean. And uncle Sean's first name is not Sean either. His middle name is Sean.

So uncle Steve, dad's older brother is the only one whose first name was Steven and he went by Steve. But the other two boys went by their middle names. Crazy. I know. Part of Chris's recollections of talking to your dad, almost being like a interrogator or a detective or something, like trying to get whatever information he could out of him. How did that make you feel that Chris was so adamant about finding?

you know, this brother that he knew was out there that really almost seems like he was on a lone mission at that point.

One thing, if you haven't figured out, he's a pretty reclusive guy and he's okay with letting the past stay in the past and I'm sure he's got his regrets that he didn't do right by you. I think he'd rather just leave that in the past, that type of thing. So I asked him and he said, yeah, I do. So we talked about you and I was always thinking of when am I gonna meet my brother Scott? I knew I couldn't find you. Like that was my thing. You were just a Scott. I had searched for you, I don't know, probably on six or seven occasions.

I think Chris told me way back when that he was curious, you know, about me. And of course, wanted to find me because he wanted a brother, but also wanted to find me because he was so curious, you know, does Scott, which is what he thought my name was back then, does Scott look like dad? How would Scott fit into the family? We've often talked about how we wish we'd known each other, you know, when we were children and teenagers and that sort of thing, how much that would have meant.

to us. I mean, it would have meant a lot to Monica as well. I know that and I can sense that from everything that she and I have talked about, but Chris is just the one who really tried, you know, who really did do the research, who did register with the registries and try to, you know, find me. That means a lot to me because when you're the child who's been given up, you hope that that's the way somebody in your...

never said he's had a great relationship with his mother, but Chris feels like him getting Jackie pregnant was the final straw or whatever that just kind of like really put a wrench into their relationship.

How did dad describe what happened when the pregnancy with me was discovered? What he told you about the whole circumstances of my being conceived. Yeah, they were very carefree and careless hippie type kids. And this is his first real serious girlfriend. He's dumb enough probably to this day to think that was one of his true loves in his life. Sadly, it was right. I mean, my mother was the last one.

and that he was 17 when he married her. So sadly, when he looks back at the history of his great girlfriends, or they were all like middle young teenage stuff where I have three teenagers and none of them have had a serious relationship yet, thank God. It's just a different world. You go back into the late 60s, early 70s, but he said that she became pregnant. And I don't know any details about like how long they hid the fact that she was pregnant. I don't, I've never asked that. I don't.

know if he even remembers the details behind that. It was found out on base. The base commander was upset that two teenagers, children of two guys on base were going to have a child. And back then things were handled a little differently and pulled in grandpa, your other grandfather. Yeah. And said that one of you guys have to pick up and transfer out. And I guess their decision was to get her family, your mom's side of the family out.

So they transferred to Arkansas. And like I said, that's all I really knew about that. But he was madly in love with her. He wanted to marry her. He wanted to raise you in our grandparents' house. He tried to convince grandma and grandpa of that. And they weren't having it. And I think deep down, that was probably some of the stuff that created such a wedge between grandma and him. Because you ask him about her, he describes that relationship as bad.

and violent and honestly I think she probably just had enough of him being reckless.

It's interesting in that, you know, Scott has memory issues and he tends to tell the same stories over and over and say the same things over and over. And he keeps going back to not a great relationship with his mother. And so it's just, it's interesting that he's really stuck on that. And I wonder if it's, if that was the thing that made it so hard between them. Well, I do think it was not easy. And it sounds like my grandfather, my dad's.

father was trying to be the voice of reason, but I think it sounds like my grandmother just had enough of everything at that point. I think that had been not particularly rebellious, but kind of just did what he wanted to do and hung out too late and drank too much and smoked too much. And, you know, probably had a good time as a teenager, but at the same time, you know, I think my grandmother just sometimes struggled when my grandfather would be out of town.

on military business. And then my grandmother was left with these three boys who were, you know, pretty close to the same age as each other. And it sounds like it was a free for all sometimes. So I can't relate. I have never wanted three children, nor would I ever. I get the sense from everybody. My uncle Sean's been more diplomatic about it, but everybody kind of says, yeah, Scott's getting Jackie pregnant was not a great moment for the family.

I remember Chris, when he first told me this story before the podcast, a long time ago, five years ago, almost that he said he was trying to be so careful of my feelings. He wanted to tell me, for instance, that my mother's pregnancy caused difficulty between him and his, between my dad and his parents. But he tried to do it so gingerly that it wouldn't hurt my feelings. And of course, you know,

I don't feel at all to blame or responsible for that. I was in utero. I don't know how it would be my fault. I do appreciate how Chris really tried to safeguard my feelings while he's telling me these stories way back then. And it meant a lot to me that he was trying to be so careful about how I felt about the whole thing. Let's move on to Monica.

Monica, where she kind of gets a little cheery at talking about the fact that deep down wished she had a sibling that she was closer to and that one that kind of followed along with her sort of ideology and beliefs and things like that.

You share a lot of common beliefs and interests and I feel the same connection. I instantly felt comfortable with you and just having a lot of the same beliefs and same compassion and heart towards other human beings in the world and the things we believe are right from wrong. And Chris and I are definitely very opposite on a lot of that stuff. And so I loved having you to be close with. And yeah, I definitely feel that we connected immediately that way. For sure. Yeah.

I think it's clear, through listening to episodes about your stories, that we're ultra -liberal, and Monica is as well, like, you know, socially super -liberal. And I think that that was a sort of an instant connection between all of us. For sure. And it's funny because she and I talked about that during our very first conversation on the phone. And you're right, we both kind of latched onto that similarity.

And she explained that dad was kind of middle of the road, but really wasn't very vocal about politics. Her mother, my stepmother was more on the conservative side and Chris definitely is as well. And I think she was so happy to see that I wasn't and that she and I could in the future have some great conversations and we have. So that was a nice point.

What's interesting too though is she also said to me early on, and she might've even said it during the podcast episode, but I think she thought that if I had known her when I was a teenager and she was, you know, she's six years younger than I am, a much younger person that I would have been more supportive of her than Chris was. I'm just going to say, I don't know if I would have been. And the reason I say that.

is that I was a goody goody and I wasn't always supportive of Darla, my stepsister that I lived with. I had pretty high standards for people's behavior and I don't know that Monica lived up to them. I mean, and she would admit that, but I also know that, you know, Chris and I both love her and you know, it might've been tough love from Chris, but.

You know, we both have always probably just wanted what's best for her. Well, it's interesting, you know, because you and Darla were same age, same grade. So like you were seeing, you're looking at yourself as like super scholarly and you know,

best grades and everything else. And so you were probably judging her a little bit for not going down that path. Now you're six years older than Monica. Right. You would have been six more years mature. It's possible you could have been more of an influence on her being the older brother and, you know, stepping in and saying like, Hey, this path you're going down right now. Not cool. I don't like it. What can we do? What can I do to help you turn this around?

But you know, who knows? We can, we can't, we can just look at the past and, and say, what if, but yeah. Well, and I have said to Monica, don't you think you might've just resented me the way that you resented Chris? You know, then you would have had two big brothers being really, you know, judgmental and snarky with you. Right. Right. So, you know, yeah, who knows, right? We weren't there, but I wasn't there. But it is interesting to think that, you know, she assumes the best about.

my behavior. That's nice. That's nice of her.

I'm glad I found my brother. You know, I am so grateful to have you. I'm gonna cry now because I wish I had you growing up and I'm just glad I have you now.

This just in, we were hoping that my sister Stephanie would be able to join us and surprise, she's here. Stephanie, you've heard about people finding each other through DNA tests, but you never thought that would be something that would happen to your family.

I've heard quite a few people finding loved ones through ancestry DNA or other forms of DNA testing, but never thought in a million years it would happen in my family. But just talking to friends and coworkers, these are interesting. There's a lot of things that you see families, coworkers that you work with and you think everything's perfect and families are complicated and complicated good, complicated bad, but this has definitely been.

one of the best experiences of my life and very fortunate that this has happened. It's been a great ride so far.

Yeah. Even since we recorded that first episode with Stephanie, I think she and I have both heard of so many new stories of people who have found others. I don't want to speak for you, Stephanie, but it just warms my heart to think that other people have had really positive experiences like you and I have had. And I love that. If we can do anything with this podcast, similar to that, like getting the word out, getting

people to feel comfortable meeting their family members, connecting with them, whether it's on things like video calls or getting to see people in person. I think it's worth it. Absolutely. Since meeting you through the Ancestry DNA, I feel like I'm more alert to people and their stories now, or it catches my attention. I listen to a lot of podcasts and it's crazy how you will come across one who said,

was adopted and I found my birth parents and sometimes it works out great, sometimes it doesn't, but I feel like I'm way more high alert to those stories now or it catches my attention. And just speaking with coworkers and listening to their stories and there's so many people out there that have that shared experience that I never would have known about or wouldn't be as interested, I guess, but.

Yeah, I think what you're doing is really positive and every episode that I listen to, I'm just really proud of you guys. Oh, thank you. So I think I talked about this a little bit in the episode that we had you on Stephanie, but as you remember, you were on vacation when Kendall sort of plunged himself into your family. You know, Brooke was the first one that he, that he spoke to and...

Your brother found out about him as well and they both got to see what he looked like and everything else. And I think you're like, your gut reaction was like, well, why did they get to know that we look like worms?

I remember, because my question was, well, why did he reach out to Brooke first? Why did he reach out to me? Find me through Facebook. And then I think Brooke and Richard may have have sent a picture of you. It's a Senate via text. I'm like, oh my gosh, he looks just like me. And so that made the connection even more strong is that we favor so much, I think. And you just look like my family, I feel like. And it's like, wow, this is really real. And.

you know, you don't know, you're told that you have a biological sibling out there and you really don't know what you're going to get. And to see you look normal and then to see like you're, you are, you're one of us, you look like my brother. That made it more at ease for me as well. And then of course, just talking to you. I don't know if talking to you, the bond started there, but then when I met you, it was...

know, it's really hard to describe the bond that I have with you because it is different than the bond that I have with my other siblings. I feel like we share the same outlooks and personality traits, but it's kind of unreal.

It's just kind of funny because you two have developed this amazingly strong bond as siblings, you know, in the meantime, in the last four years. Yeah. My initial reaction was, why was I the last to find out when I'm the oldest of Richard and Brooke? But I understand now why, but I was just curious, like, well, why didn't he reach out to me? But I don't think you could, like you couldn't connect with me through social media for some reason or another. But from the first moment I spoke to you and then...

Whenever we met at the airport, it was just immediate and I don't, I don't know how to explain it. We're just very much alike. I feel like, and we've just got this bond that I never thought I would have with someone. You know, that I just met, but it's almost like I've known you my whole life with the closeness that we have. So it's been such a good experience. I miss you guys already. I wish.

We lived closer and hopefully one day we will be closer in proximity, maybe when we retire. It's been really amazing. I just, I could never ever imagine that I would have an older brother and that we would have developed the closeness that we have. It's been one of the greatest experiences that I've ever had. Growing up, our outlooks on life, that bond just grew, but I felt like it was immediate, but it definitely grew. And that...

time with you was extremely valuable and getting to know you and it was it was just a really wonderful time and taking you over to our aunt's house and I remember even this sounds really weird but just being protected like I just wanted to protect you even though you're my older brother I wanted to make sure that you were okay and but you're so easy you know everything with you is pretty easy you're easy to talk to easy to be with but I just remember like

This is my new brother and I want to take care of him and it was wonderful. The best part was just getting to hear your stories of growing up with your your family and what it was like living in Arkansas.

I mean, we just visited with you last week. You know, it just had a really, really nice. I think one of the, one of the things that's really helped us along is who Kendall is, like who the person Kendall is. The times that we've come out to New England to visit, he has taken off work and has spent as much time with me and my family as he possibly could. Not a lot of people would do that. And.

I'm a very giving person. I always want to make sure everyone feels comfortable and included. And he's like that. And I love the fact that he makes me and my family a priority when we're there. He came to Maine with us and stayed with us. And he's been over to my husband's sister's house and has stayed with us. And he's taken a ferry ride to P -Town with us and gone to...

Red Sox and Patriot games. So I love the fact that he's all in when I'm there. And it's like, he takes his time is completely given to me. And that, that means so much to me that touches my heart because it just shows his character and his love. And I love that about him. I think that's, I don't know. I mean, it's very special because you're not going to find that in a lot of people. And my husband's commented too. He's like,

Wow, Kendall just really gives up his time for you when we're here. And I mean, it does not go unnoticed. It's really great to see. And just like seeing the two of you in the same room and sitting next to each other, whatever, there's just a light, there's a spark there that gets brighter, you know, when the two of you are together. So I don't know, like Stephanie just said, it's hard to describe, but Kendall, like what...

How do you describe that bond, that this relationship that you guys have developed over the last few years? Well, you know, it's funny. When I was an only child until I was almost 12, I always wanted, you know, I always wanted siblings. And you can't really say that to your parents who struggled to just get you, right? Like you can't keep saying, can you find another kid? But I always wanted it. When my dad married my stepmother,

I did get, you know, instant step family and one of my stepsisters was already out of the house. She was already married, but Darla, my stepsister is exactly my age. And that was great. I loved having her as a stepsister and I loved, um, you know, having her in the house, but at the same time, you know, we'd missed a lot of years living together. Right. I mean,

We came, we got to start living together right before we were both 12. And I'm not saying that that wasn't so great. It was, but there's something about the fact that, you know, it's different, right? I didn't get to grow up with my stepsister. So, I mean, yes, I knew her and we got along really well. We hung out as much as two teenagers, you know, who would probably, but there is something just a little bit different, right? About not having.

gotten to grow up, you know, between birth and 12 with somebody else. So I feel like there was always this missing feeling for me. And now I have it. I know I didn't get to spend any of those same years with any of my siblings, but still there's just something neat about having, you know, somebody that's biological and, you know, that you look like and you, you know, um,

sound like sometimes and have, you know, people have watched me and my brother Chris and say that even some of our mannerisms are similar and we, you know, haven't known each other that long in comparison to the length of our lives. So, you know, those things are just fun for me because if you're somebody who'd never had any biological family, you didn't know what you were missing. You didn't know how you might relate with all these people. So it's been wonderful.

that I want to spend as much time with you guys as I can. And we always do fun stuff too. It's great. And I feel like there's no way for us to miss makeup for all the years that we missed, but having those moments are fantastic. When Stephanie arrived in town last week with her husband and their son, the first thing she did was give me my birthday gift, which was this great photo that is of all of us, including Corey. And it's just, I love it.

You know, like that's, it's a, it's a cool photo that's on a canvas backing and it was, it's just, it's the perfect gift for us. Cause we love that sort of thing. And you know, it's already on the wall. So we're trying to catch up for all those lost memories and make memories here. Well, I love to hear this because I did spring this on Stephanie. She was here, but I, I volunteered to ship Kendall down for Christmas.

Just because I was thinking like, well, when we moved to California years ago, and even since we've been in New England for the last four years, like it's probably been at least every other year that I've gone back to St. Louis to spend some part of the holiday season with my family. And it's like, well, I shouldn't be the only one that gets to do that. I'm willing to take on.

taking care of our 18 animals so Kendall can go down and enjoy Christmas with his family. Yeah. Really excited. That was kind of a highlight of the trip, knowing that there's possibility he could spend Christmas with us. I love it. So this is our first recap episode, just as Kendall mentioned earlier on that we've had three of his six siblings on the podcast. We would love to have the other three. I think we're pretty hopeful about two of the three. We'll see what happens with.

Kendall's brother on his mom's side. We had some pretty deep conversations with Stephanie when she was here about, about their mother and you know, just why a connection has not yet occurred. And I think we're all hopeful, you know, for the best still, but I think it's become, you know, a point of frustration for both Kendall and Stephanie. I hope it doesn't cause a f***ing f

heard it riff, Stephanie, between you and your family members, but I know that it's caused some stress and upset for you. Yeah, it's not been easy. I just wish it didn't have to be this way. I wish what we all want, you know, is to have a peaceful resolution. And like you said, it's really frustrating. Just want the best for everybody. I don't want anybody to look back and...

Have any regrets? Well, as much as Kendall and I are fans of Halloween, and we are, we're also huge fans of Christmas as well. And it is definitely a time of magic. So who knows what could happen this year? Kendall comes next. Yeah. So we just, you know, we remain hopeful and we will keep the door open for conversation and relationship. You know, I don't think I can't imagine Kendall ever permanently closing the door on anyone. I wouldn't.

Now we've definitely gone through and we haven't gotten to like all the dirty details of how this journey has been. I mean, you know, there are some twists that we probably will never talk about on this podcast, but it hasn't always been sunshine and roses, but we are not closing the door on anybody. I will always want to meet everybody in my family. You know, it is bizarre when I stop and think that, you know, I haven't met.

our brother Richard, I haven't met, you know, his children. It just seems odd, you know, I'm not the big bad wolf, you know, like I don't, I don't get the trepidation on anybody's part except just not knowing me, you know, but, um. I mean, we're not getting any older. You never know what can happen. So I just would love to see the family whole and.

everyone getting along and this just come to a good resolution for everyone. I love everyone in my family and I just, I just want it to work out in a positive way. Yeah, I agree. I never dreamt that it would be as awkward for everybody as it is. It's just, it just, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know why I didn't think it was a possibility. Obviously it's.

It kind of makes sense. You know, people are nervous about meeting somebody they've never met, but I am. They're flesh and blood, you know? And anyone that has met you and Cory know that you're one of the kindest people out there. You know, I'm not perfect. I've got some regrets that, you know, that has happened in the family. And I feel like I've tried to make amends with that. And that's all I can do is learn from learn from my mistakes and try to do better. And.

I just want to see us all come to a positive resolution and this should be a happy time for everyone. What I've learned in doing research for this podcast and being part of several Facebook groups about DNA found families is that, you know, you too are part of the lucky ones, the fortunate ones, able to have a good relationship. And it's, I would say more often than not, I'm seeing people say like, well, I found my birth father.

He wants nothing to do with me, that every single day and in posts, we're going to talk about that. They're not all super happy endings. I mean, I know, I think most of the episodes we've had so far have been, you know, really great stories and we love those stories and we'll continue to tell those stories. And we definitely have some coming up, but it's not always the case. And I think that it's becoming more and more common for people to, you know, spin the tube and send it away and, and, and find out their family history.

And, you know, there are some deep, dark, buried secrets that are coming to light. And the people that buried them aren't always happy about it. And I always go back to the fact that it shouldn't be this way, you know? It shouldn't be this way. Not to end on a somber note, it was a wonderful visit. And I think, I mean, the good that has come out of this experience over the last five years.

definitely outweighs the negative. Absolutely. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, Kendall has been one of the highlights of my life. I mean, I wouldn't change a thing. I'm so fortunate that we found each other and I don't regret anything. Anything. I love you guys. I again wish we were closer, but my relationship with Kendall is amazing and so positive. And I can't wait to spend more time with you guys.

We feel the same way. Excellent. Well, I think that's a great spot to end this episode on a positive note. We love you dearly, Jim and Oliver included. I can't wait to meet your critters because you know how we are, how many critters we have in you. Two gorgeous dogs and a kitty cat. And so, uh, Kendall's coming for Christmas. Then, you know, mark me down for fourth of July. Sounds great. Sounds great.

I love it. Okay. This was good talking to you guys again and I'll talk to you soon. I love you both. Love you too. Bye bye. Bye bye. Bye bye.

This is the Family Twist podcast hosted by Kendall and Corey Stulz with original music by Cosmic Afterthoughts and produced by Outpost Productions and presented by Savoir Fair Marketing Communications. Have a story you want to share? Visit Family Twist Podcast .com. All our social media links are there as well.