In this episode, Irene and Cat shed light on:
About the show:
Join us, Irene Uy and Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, both certified life coaches, as we share our stories and hear from business leaders, generational pioneers and experts as we discuss the personal, relational and professional challenges we, immigrants and children of immigrants face.
Get ready to break personal, cultural or generational barriers that get in the way of being the best version of yourself and living the best version of life!
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Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: All right.
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:The coach is in.
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:We are your hosts, Cat and Irene.
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:Irene Uy: I'm Irene.
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:I moved to the U.
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:S.
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:on my own 10 years ago.
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:I have a background in management
engineering, earned my master's
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:degree from Columbia, and secured
my permanent residence through work.
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:I spent my career in real estate,
And I'm now a certified coach and
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: accredited with ICF
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:and I'm Cat.
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:My parents came to the States from
the Philippines in the:
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:landed in Milwaukee, where I was born.
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:I now live in Chicago with
my two daughters and husband.
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:I've always been multi passionate
and multi hyphenate and presently
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:I serve others as an attorney,
podcaster, and in the personal
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:development space as a retreat host
and as a certified coach as well.
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:Irene Uy: Join us as we share our
stories and hear from business leaders,
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:generational pioneers, and experts as
we discuss the personal, relational, and
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:professional challenges we immigrants
and children of immigrants, face.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Irene, I'm so
excited to be chatting with you.
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:We haven't connected in a while,
so I, I'm guessing that we each
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:have lots of ground to cover when
it comes to things to talk about.
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:Irene Uy: Yeah, I know, right?
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:I don't know how much you're
willing to share, but I'll start.
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:Since the last time we saw each other,
there's a lot that's been going on.
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:I got married.
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:Um, so our families were here.
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:My husband's mom actually also
got her kidney transplant.
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:Oh my gosh.
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:I haven't told you that.
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:Um, all good things, right?
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Oh,
is she, is she doing okay?
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:Irene Uy: She's doing great.
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:Actually.
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:She's getting stronger now.
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:She can walk.
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:So, yeah, we're, we're very
happy that, um, this actually
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:happened in the span of a week.
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:Like we had the tea ceremony
and then within that week,
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:she got her kidney transplant.
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:So she wasn't able to attend the
wedding, but, you know, we're looking
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:forward to like what's next to come
because now that she's able to.
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:Um, travel, um, we'll
see where that takes us.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Oh
my gosh, that's great.
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:I didn't realize, well, yeah, I
didn't realize that she, uh, was
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:not, you know, in 100 percent health.
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:And so, like you said, getting
a, like a new lease on something
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:from a health perspective, um,
that has to feel, feel good.
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:And I'm glad to hear she's
healing and recovering well.
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:Irene Uy: Yeah.
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:What about you, Cat?
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:What have you been up to?
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:Ah,
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Well, so you may
have heard the term May cember bounced
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:around when it comes to families with
kids, in school because May feels a
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:lot like December where there's like
party, banquet, end of year, like gifts
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:galore for, you know, it all kicks
off with teacher appreciation week.
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:And then at my girl's school, they
had, uh, like a junior high formal
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:at the beginning of the month.
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:One of my daughters graduated and
had her confirmation and my other
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:daughter's super involved in dance.
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:So there's end of year competitions
and recitals and showcases.
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:And so it, it feels like, you know,
but like the end of the calendar year
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:where you're racing to get in all sorts
of fun, um, sometimes stressful, uh,
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:but ultimately, you know, you, you
finish off the month or feeling like.
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:Wow.
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:That was a lot.
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:And I'm kind of proud of myself for
making, making it through without any
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:huge arguments or blowouts or breakdowns.
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:Irene Uy: It seems like, you know,
sometimes life takes over us, right?
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Yes.
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:Yes.
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:I feel like You know, I may have touched
on this in the past, but before you get
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:to this stage of parenting, uh, your,
your schedule can kind of feel, uh, like
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:the only things that jump in are, uh,
holidays or the seasons, you know, like
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:there's proof of change, but like when
my kids were in daycare, they just went
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:to daycare every day from, you know, 8
AM till 5 PM and that was year round.
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:And, but when they started school
and started their own activities
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:and getting into things that, um,
hold them in different directions,
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:it, it like the schedule kind
of takes on a life of its own.
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:So, um, it's, it can be hard, or I
know it was hard for me to adjust.
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:To to thinking like to recalibrating my
expectations for myself during this time.
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:Um, because I think I kind of didn't
either didn't anticipate or wasn't
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:willing to initially accept that.
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:This is just how it has to be.
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:There's only so many hours in the day.
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:I only have so much energy and.
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:In order for me to show up the way I
want to for my family, um, which is
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:one of my core values, you know, as
being like an exceptional parent and
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:an exceptional partner, I need to let
certain other things take the back burner
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:so that I can be there for these people.
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:In this way, and, um, yeah, it, it's
taken me years to kind of come around to
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:that realization and that place of, um,
acceptance because I think for a long time
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:I thought, oh, if I just hustle harder
or if I sleep less, or if I, you know,
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:Divvy up the schedule in a certain way and
multitask, then I'll be able to still do
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:everything at the same level, even though
these areas are extra demanding in May.
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:Um, so yeah, it's been a, it's,
it's played out like that where.
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:You know, I, my fitness routine has
taken a break, uh, you know, and, uh, I'm
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:not cooking as much or I'm not cleaning
at the same level as I do when, you
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:know, these things aren't coming up.
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:Yeah.
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:So yeah, that's been my day.
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:Irene Uy: Yeah.
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:And what a process that must have been
for you to get to that point of like
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:just self acceptance and realization.
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:Right.
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:Because, we truly never really
know what's, um, you know,
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:what's going to happen next.
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:Go in it for us.
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:I guess you enter like
different stages in life.
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:And which is I think why it's important
also to be talking about these things.
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:And thank you for sharing.
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:Because I'm pretty sure our listeners,
would appreciate, having, someone
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:share their firsthand experience.
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:You know, like for someone like me
who just got married, um, and who
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:might see myself in your position in
the future, um, it would help to like
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:hear someone's experience firsthand.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Yeah.
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:Thank you for saying that.
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:Yeah.
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:I, it reminds me of when I had a newborn
and, feeling so frustrated and at moments
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:alone and having a positive attitude
knowing that this was a blessing, but
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:also feeling incredibly inept and like,
no one gives you a manual for this or,
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:or, and having at that point in time,
eventually, a number of new moms are
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:like, It's going to suck like you're
going to second guess whether or not
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:you should have had kids or you're
going to feel like you're a terrible
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:mom and all of this is just part of it.
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:It doesn't mean that it's true.
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:These are your feelings.
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:They come and go.
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:You're sleep deprived.
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:You know, having a kid is a totally
different experience than anything you've
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:ever learned and mastered and executed
against in your professional life or your,
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:you know, your previous personal life.
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:So.
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:Yeah.
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:To your point about hearing how
other people have, you know,
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:navigated and had the same feelings
for sure can be so helpful.
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:So yes, I'm happy to,
word vomit as needed.
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:Irene Uy: Yeah.
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:And, you know, for our audience,
It's like listening into our podcast.
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:Um, I think, um, the value that, um,
you might take away from this is the
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:intersectionality of the experiences
that Cat and I bring to the table.
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:Um, we're both, um, uh, I'm, I'm
an immigrant from the Philippines
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:and Cat is a children of immigrant.
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:Um, and we're at different life stages.
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:So we have different perspectives to
offer, um, for the topics that we, uh,
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:that might come up in conversation.
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:And I don't know about you, me
personally, I've become more, um,
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:Open and candid about like my own
experiences and like my identity.
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:Um, because I'm an expert in my
own experience and I, I, you know,
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Yes.
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:Yes.
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:Uh, you know, on, on that note, uh,
I feel like we have not had a deep
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:dive into the emotional transformation
that weddings can carry with them.
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:I, I loved, uh, so obviously the listeners
can't, See this, but Irene had like
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:an engagement video and then a post
wedding video that they captured so
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:many beautiful moments from those times
and, and, you know, your relationship.
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:And, um, I, so it's, it's fun to have that
glimpse into your world and I'm curious
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:the emotions behind it and, you know, what
came up for you as you were, you know, in
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:the throes of this life changing event.
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:Irene Uy: Where do I even begin?
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:Um, yeah, because I mean to get to
the point of the wedding, like, you
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:know, I could, I could start with like
how the relationship started also.
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:But, um, I think the videos, um,
will showcase, um, certain glimpses
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:of, of the day itself and, um,
uh, our relationship as a couple.
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:Um, what did it, what it did not
show was the chaos behind all
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:of it because it was chaotic.
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:But all that to say, it was still
the best day of my life ever because
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:I got to spend it with the people.
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:But that, um, mean so much to us, right?
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:It was a very small wedding.
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:Um, and these are the people
that I've known over the years.
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:Um, the ceremony itself was, um, I don't
know, like I had to prepare myself because
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:even though these are the people that
we already, um, are, are, are close to
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:us, I was not, there was nothing that
could have prepared me for that moment.
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:Like, I did not expect to feel the
way that I did as the doors were
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:opening and everyone would see me and
my dad and, you know, see me in my
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:dress and my dad walking beside me.
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:Um, my husband now, um, almost.
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:Teared up during the exchange of vows,
you know, like these are things that
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:you normally I did not know that you
would cry like I wasn't expecting this
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:vow to turn out the way that it did.
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:It almost also made me cry.
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:Oh, I love it.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: I love it.
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:I love what you said too about,
um, that the videos don't show the
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:chaos that was behind the scenes.
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:And you also said it was the happiest
day or most beautiful day of your life.
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:And so just.
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:Just being able to recognize that the
happiest and most beautiful moments
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:don't have to be picture perfect and not
chaotic, like that can co exist, like
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:the chaos can be the best thing ever.
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:I, I, there's just something
resonated when you said that,
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:like, ah, that's amazing.
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:Like people think it has to be
calm and seamless and perfect
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:and actually not necessarily.
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:Irene Uy: And I think, you know, like it
would not have been that way without the
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:chaos because I think why I'm saying it's
the best day of my life despite the chaos
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:is because I think the people who showed
up for us, I felt the love and the care
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:of everyone who showed up like, you know,
like, can you imagine the patience that
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:everyone had to go through and like, just
the bridal party really like put things
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:together and like, I'm so grateful that
to have, um, These people in our lives
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:and to to be there for our wedding day.
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:And that's what my husband said to
like, we are so lucky and grateful that.
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:The, our bridal party are
who they are because Mm-Hmm.
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:Um, they really pulled things together,
so, you know, and, and I don't think
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:everyone has the same experience.
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:Mm-Hmm.
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:So it was, it truly was the best they ever
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:.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Uh, it sounds like they, you were able to see
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:their love in action for you.
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:Like, you know, they came together.
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:And, um, and all of them, like, what do
they say, like weddings and funerals,
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:those are the times when, when people
are together, um, and how, what a gift
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:to be able to see all those people that
you love in one place, uh, not just,
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:you know, being there, but also kind
of acting in concert to help make this
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:an amazing, uh, experience for you.
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:Irene Uy: Yeah, and I mean, I mean,
so, so the wedding day itself, I
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:started thinking like, oh, sometimes
I have a hard time receiving help and
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:receiving love from people that it
was almost overwhelming to see how,
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:how much love the bridal party gave.
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:It's like, oh my God, like it, is it, is
it that I'm unwilling to recognize that
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:these people love me and will be there
for me because then not, not to sound
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:morbid, as you mentioned, like, Funerals.
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:Also, I started thinking like, oh,
these are the people who I probably
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:would, um, show up to their funerals.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: I don't know if
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:Irene Uy: that grammar made
sense there, but we're beyond.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Wow.
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:Uh, I, this is a side note.
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:Um, In, in early April or, you know, uh,
but you may re I, I remember mentioning
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:to you that, um, there were some deaths
in, in my family, like my uncle passed
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:and, um, a close family friend, uh,
passed away and, but you're mentioning
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:about funerals and the people you love.
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:And, um, just reminded me of how,
uh, I, I am not someone, I feel
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:almost still new to funerals.
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:This sound, they sound weird
cause I'm almost, you know, I'm
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:in my late forties, but my dad
never liked talking about death.
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:And, um, when we were growing up, he
actually wouldn't take us to many funerals
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:of like family members, et cetera.
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:Um, I think partly out of
superstition, he's of Chinese descent.
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:But um, and even now, we, as we plan
for the eventualities of death and you
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:know him passing on, it's, it's, He, we
don't have conversations easily, uh, he's
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:very reluctant, but, um, all this to say
that because of my lack of experience, I
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:always thought until relatively recently
that funerals, you had to kind of earn
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:the right to attend a funeral, that you
had to be close to the person who died.
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:And so there were times when I
avoided funerals or just sent flowers
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:or whatever, cause that was the.
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:The refrain in my head was, I would
feel like a poser going to this
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:funeral because I actually didn't
know the person who died that well.
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:But in recent months, it's kind of shifted
to, um, funerals being for the living.
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:Sorry, I'm getting all teared up.
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:Um, but it's, you're there to support the
people you love that are still with us.
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:And yes, it's like the reason that
you're coming together is because of the
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:people who've passed and to honor them.
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:But it's, it's, it's
It's not just about that.
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:It's also about paying your respects
and showing your support and showing,
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:like taking action to support that
person's loved ones who you love as well.
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:And there
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:Irene Uy: goes the
complexity of life, right?
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:Because like, um, when we think
about that, it's obviously
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:very, very, we're grieving.
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:It's like a huge emotion to, um, unpack.
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:But at the same time, we're also
celebrating someone's life and the
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:good parts of it and the memories
that, you know, we shared together.
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:And like, it's a lot to, um, it's a lot
of like intense emotions all at once.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Yeah.
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:Yeah.
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:A lot, a lot, a lot.
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:Yeah.
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:And I, you know, I can just imagine at
that when, at when you were walking down
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:the aisle and seeing all those people
looking at you with such love in their
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:faces and joy that, yeah, there, there can
be this crazy mashup of emotions thinking
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:to yourself at the same time, like,
yeah, these are people that if I lose
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:them, I will be absolutely heartbroken.
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:Um, and there's, there's such beauty
in that, um, dynamic in the knowing
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:of like, what, what preciousness that
you have in your hands and kind of the
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:reminder to cherish it for what it is.
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:Um, because you know, if you lose it,
how hard, how hurt you would be like
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:there's, like you said, it's that
the layers and the intertwinedness
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:of, of, of love and loss.
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:Irene Uy: Yeah, and how lucky we
are to actually meet, um, these
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:people because like, you know, um,
when it comes to friends, these
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:are your chosen family, right?
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:You can choose to not be part of this
relationship if you didn't want to, but
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:something about this person and this
relationship draws you to them to, to make
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:you want to show up despite the distance,
despite, you know, different life stages.
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:Um, so it's a conscious choice to
want to be in this relationship
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:and to nurture the relationship.
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:And, and so like, you know, at this
age that we're in, it's like when
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:we invest in relationships, it's
kind of already long term, right?
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:Because we know who we are
and we know what to do.
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:who we want to invest our time in.
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:Um, and so, and so that's why I
thought like, oh, these are the
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:people that I would be lifelong, I
choose to be lifelong friends with.
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:Because I think one of the conversations,
um, that so, so we had, um, we spent
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:the night with the bridal party and,
um, we had really deep conversations
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:because, um, I think they were saying
like, oh, you know, when you, Get
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:married, like you never have to go
through life alone anymore, right?
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:To deal with life's adversities.
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:And I said, I'd like to think
that friends are part of that too.
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:That no one gets left behind, right?
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:Because that's the
community that you build.
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:And, um, what better way to live
life than to do it with, um, The
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:people that you love the most, right?
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:And so, you know, when I think about
funerals, um, it's very complex and
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:there's obviously the grief part of it,
but also like recognizing that how lucky
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:am I to have met these people and to have
shared and created memories with them.
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:Um, And so that's where my head's at.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Oh, I can just see
the gratitude and the, yeah, like how
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:grateful you are for, um, for those people
and the moments you shared together.
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:Yeah.
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:Yeah.
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:For the listeners.
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:Irene is just beaming.
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:She's got this permagrid.
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:If we're ever on YouTube someday,
you'll be able to see, but for
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:now, just take my word for it.
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:Yeah.
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:Bye bye!
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:Oh, well, I'm so thrilled that you
have that memory in your archive now.
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:And, um, yeah, what a beautiful
launching pad into your marriage.
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:Gosh.
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:Yeah.
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:Irene Uy: So, so yesterday I was,
um, I was invited as a guest
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:speaker to my CrossFit bar talk.
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:And one of the things that we talked about
with self care and, um, I was asked like,
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:how exactly do you take care of yourself?
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:Right.
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:Cause they.
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:It comes down to your belief in
yourself first and whether you are
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:deserving because like, you know,
like, like you mentioned earlier, like
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:you can be drawn to different places.
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:Um, your identity as a mom, as a
partner, as a daughter, it could, um,
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:pull you in, in different directions.
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:And you sometimes, um, put yourself last.
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:How do you, um, prioritize
yourself and your self care?
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:And I think we, the
bottom line of that was.
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:Um, find a support system that will
keep reminding you, you are worthy and
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:you are worthy of prioritizing yourself
because it could be hard for us to
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:reframe that thought in our head alone.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Mm.
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:Mm.
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:That's good.
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:That is very good.
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:I could not agree with that more.
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:And I think accountability or I don't
even know if every, if, if that, that
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:system support system always is labeled
accountability, but it's, there's.
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:There's an element of that, like
to remind you of who you are and
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:what you deserve and what you want
to prioritize and what you value.
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:Like that even, even, I think oftentimes
we think of accountability as like a
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:taskmaster or, you know, a drill sergeant.
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:But I think, um, those support systems
can offer you a sense of almost
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:gentle accountability in that just by
virtue of, yeah, reminding you that.
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:This is, this is who you are
and what you want to prioritize.
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:And we're going to help you get
there, whether it's slow, whether
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:it's fast, whether there's no action
for a while, or whether you want to
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:take intense action for a really,
you know, short period of time.
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:Like there's, there are people who
get you and support you through it.
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:Irene Uy: There's no right
or wrong answer to it, right?
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:Because I think as I'm not sure if this
is specific to millennials, but it seems
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:like every millennial I speak to seems
to have this drive of like, Oh, I'm
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:just going to be robotic and I will push
myself to the max without realizing that
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:you cannot sustain that way of living.
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:And I think now we're realizing that.
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:And it's so funny and ironic how, um,
self care and like, Doing nothing.
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:It's like we have to
carve time to do nothing.
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:. Right,
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: right.
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:Yeah.
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:And I wouldn't, I, I know
you speak for millennials.
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:I would not, I would say because
I'm technically Gen X and I,
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:I think we are saddled with
similar, um, thought patterns.
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:Like you work, you work, you work.
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:Uh, to get some sort of life
or, or, but it, yeah, it's all,
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:it's very, it's really complex.
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:And I, and I remember someone
advising me, which I thought
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:was good advice at the time.
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:And I, but I did not
consistently implement it.
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:And maybe there's a reason why that
I should unpack for a future podcast
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:episode, but, um, but they were saying,
you know, schedule 15 minutes of Like
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:do nothing time because it doesn't
come naturally to you that you need
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:to actually, like if you are someone
that's hardwired to do do and adhere
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:to a schedule, like you should block
in time to, for nothingness for, for
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:whatever ness and put down the phone and
get away from the screen and don't feel
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:necessarily obliged to walk, but just
let yourself kind of be like, whatever.
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:Whatever, um, stillness you can obtain
to schedule it, um, which, uh, yeah,
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:there's a lot of wisdom to that, but
just underscoring your point that self
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:care is hard for people to prioritize.
393
:I think in our culture generally, like I
think, um, self care and stillness just
394
:isn't something we do well as Westerners.
395
:Yeah,
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:Irene Uy: which I think it's this this
line of thought brings me back to what
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:my therapist shared with me between
the difference of the difference
398
:between goal based living and value
based living because I mean, this
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:might be a new way of thinking that
that our parents never taught us.
400
:And like, we're just now being
introduced to where in goal based
401
:living is like, oh, you know, we're just
working towards one goal after another.
402
:You're another because I remember I
remember that I was this way like,
403
:um, when I was in the Philippines, I
got accepted into schools, and I told
404
:my mentors about it, and the next
thing that I was talking about is.
405
:What's next?
406
:What's next?
407
:And my mentor said, um, don't
forget to celebrate the milestone
408
:that, or the achievement that
you, you, you just received.
409
:Like you got into an Ivy league school.
410
:Um, and I didn't think much of it,
but now it's like, yeah, when does,
411
:when, when do the goals ever end?
412
:Cause otherwise I'll just be living my
life, um, pursuing one goal after another.
413
:Whereas the value based living,
um, you're not so much focused on
414
:what the goal is, but you're just
living out your values kind of like.
415
:Developing habits and, and seeing
where that takes you, right?
416
:Um, and I think what I, what I want to
point out here is that, living in the way
417
:that you're just chasing chasing goals.
418
:Are you actually happy right there
because there's an undercurrent state
419
:of being sometimes we push ourselves
too much to the point where, oh,
420
:we don't realize we're unhappy and
We don't really want this anymore.
421
:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Yeah, that's
such an important distinction,
422
:the goals versus values.
423
:Um, it reminds me of a phrase
that, like the six words that,
424
:uh, can change your life, but,
uh, you have to love the process.
425
:You have to love the journey.
426
:If you don't, then, As you were
saying, you get caught up, you can
427
:get caught up in aiming so hard for
a destination and not really thinking
428
:about, is this what I really want?
429
:Or once you get there, realizing
that if you're loving the
430
:journey, then it's all about.
431
:Like that is the, that is the value in it.
432
:That's the goal.
433
:That's like, it, it becomes less
about the destination and more about
434
:the process of living and, and living
in a way that makes sense to you.
435
:Um,
436
:Irene Uy: yeah, because life is meant
to be experienced and, and not to be
437
:woo woo about this or not, this is
also not to say that just because.
438
:You are living happy and, um, and
accepting yourself for who you are.
439
:That doesn't mean you're not
actually go, uh, growing and
440
:pursuing your goals either, right?
441
:There's a difference between just focusing
on like the goals without, um, regard
442
:for your well being and there's your
sense of self worth and self acceptance.
443
:Um, I think, uh, I, and I think this is
what, um, The different, uh, what has
444
:become different for me since becoming a
life coach in that like I worked on self
445
:acceptance and being happy because then
I could propel myself into working on
446
:my goals and achieving them from a place
of worthiness and acceptance, right?
447
:As opposed to like, I don't feel good
enough so I'm just gonna keep on chasing
448
:after that goal until I feel good enough.
449
:That's a lie because I never will.
450
:There will always be another goal
that I will work towards, right?
451
:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Yeah.
452
:Yes.
453
:So true.
454
:There's always something next, like
something, something else that,
455
:uh, that comes after the goal you
accomplish that, you know, once
456
:you get that to once you accomplish
one, suddenly there's another one.
457
:So you're always feeling less than
you're always feeling incomplete.
458
:Um, and I, I love the, when you
live by your values, I love that it
459
:really, you can have this sense of.
460
:Accomplishment no matter and fullness
and enoughness, regardless of,
461
:you know, can you check this box?
462
:Do you have this degree?
463
:Is there this number on your scale?
464
:Or is there this number
on in your bank account?
465
:It's instead about the Kind of
that's those states of being and
466
:do those align with who you what
you value and what you love.
467
:Yeah.
468
:I love that I think that's what got me
to a peaceful place with parenting too is
469
:You know recognizing that Of course, it's
not, it's not all unicorns and rainbows.
470
:Like, there's definitely
arguments and annoyances and sucky
471
:moments and, um, backsliding.
472
:Like, I thought I had taught
you already that you, you know,
473
:you're not supposed to do X.
474
:Um, But, you know, it's all part of this
journey, and instead of being focused
475
:on, like, I have a kid that is this,
it's like, I have a kid, you know, that
476
:values this, that learns from mistakes,
that is constantly growing, um, and
477
:that feels good, like it feels good
to know that within the process, It's
478
:there are ups and downs and there's,
because it's, because the process
479
:is what you enjoy and what you love.
480
:And then that's, what's
aligned with your values.
481
:The journey is the point of it all.
482
:Um, if it makes it a lot easier to,
to reach that place of acceptance,
483
:like this is all part of it.
484
:Like it doesn't matter if, uh, my kid
didn't do their laundry when they said
485
:they were supposed to, or didn't fold
it and put it away, like I told them to,
486
:or, you know, didn't get the A's that.
487
:I know she wanted, like,
whatever it might be.
488
:Um, it's about, it's like, did you learn?
489
:Are you enjoying, um, kind of
discovering new information?
490
:Are you growing, like, big picture view?
491
:You know, are you more consistently
able to, like, do the things
492
:that you say you want to do?
493
:Like, it's, it's, um, It's a, it's a
perspective shift for sure, but totally
494
:liberating when you tack it not to
the goal, but to the, the values and
495
:kind of the, the journey of getting
that to be the person you want to be.
496
:Irene Uy: I love that.
497
:It's very interesting again, right?
498
:Our different life stages and our
perspectives because you are talking
499
:about it from the perspective of the
parent and I'm talking about this
500
:from the perspective of the daughter.
501
:What I wanted to add to that
was that I wish my parents.
502
:Um, work less as parents and trust that
the values that they wanted to impart
503
:in me are values that I have received
just by, um, watching them live, right?
504
:Because they, because they model it.
505
:You don't have to , say it over and
over again because I, I will naturally
506
:learn the values that matter to you
the most just by living with you.
507
:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Yeah, for sure.
508
:I, I feel like this could be a totally,
we should pick this up in our next
509
:discussion, but like the, the, the
idea of communication and modeling
510
:and, and how both of them coexist.
511
:And how we picked up different things
growing up and how we are choosing
512
:to maybe operate differently, or
maybe in some cases, the same as what
513
:we witnessed, um, as when we were
kids, there's, there's a lot there
514
:certain I'm, I'm sure every immigrant.
515
:Child or a child of immigrants can relate.
516
:Irene Uy: Absolutely.
517
:And I think we've covered
a lot of ground today.
518
:Um, so I'm curious now from the audience,
let us know what kind of topics you're
519
:interested in, because there's a lot that
Cat and I can unpack and, you know, talk
520
:about, we'd be interested in your inputs.
521
:So leave us comments in
the comment section below.
522
:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Sounds good.
523
:Yes.
524
:And Irene, I think you should
also paste a link in the show
525
:notes to your wedding video.
526
:Selfishly.
527
:I'm like, I
528
:Irene Uy: will do that.
529
:I will certainly do that after the call.
530
:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Thanks
everyone and we will be back soon.
531
:As you wrap up today's session,
we invite you to reflect on what
532
:resonated with you in today's episode.
533
:If you're interested in exploring
the topic as it relates to your
534
:own personal experience, head
to the show notes and visit
535
:www.thecoachisinpodcast.com
536
:Irene Uy: that's
537
:www.thecoachisinpodcast.com.
538
:Irene Uy: Get ready to break personal,
cultural, or generational barriers.
539
:That gets in the way of being the
best version of yourself and living
540
:the best version of your life.