• Growth often feels confusing before it feels empowering, and restlessness can be a sign of expansion rather than something being wrong.
• Outgrowing people is not about superiority. It happens because comfort with an old version of you can create distance when you change.
• Releasing identities like the people pleaser, the overachiever, or the go to person is one of the hardest parts of growth.
• Major life transitions, including parenting shifts and career changes, often trigger a deeper identity search.
• Setting boundaries protects emotional and physical health, even when it disappoints people who benefited from the old version of you.
• Judgment toward others who are changing is often more about our own unmet desires than about their choices.
• Becoming who you are meant to be happens one small decision at a time, not through a single dramatic overhaul.

Memorable Quotes

• “Some identities protected us for a season, but eventually they become too heavy to keep wearing.”
• “Only you can change you. No one else is gonna do it for you.”
• “Some seasons aren't about finding yourself, they're about allowing yourself to become.”

Themes Explored

• Identity and self-worth
• Faith and spiritual growth
• Relationships and community
• Motherhood and the empty nest transition
• Emotional health and boundaries

Kimberly Rash: The things that once excited you just don't light you up in the same way. The conversations hit different. The goals have changed. And if you've ever felt guilty for feeling that way, then this episode's for you. Today, we're talking about what happens when you're outgrowing your old life. many people think growth feels exciting, and sometimes it does, but often growth feels confusing before it feels empowering.

Kimberly Rash: You may find yourself questioning things you've always believed, wanting different things than you used to want, feeling disconnected from old routines, craving more meaning, purpose, and peace in your life, realizing you've changed while everything around you has stayed the same. And that doesn't mean you're broken.

Kimberly Rash: And not because we're better than anybody else, but because we're changing. Sometimes the people around us are comfortable where they are. Sometimes they don't understand the new questions we're asking. Sometimes they're attached to the version of us that made them comfortable, and that's hard.

Kimberly Rash: Some identities protected us for a season, but eventually they become too heavy to keep wearing And I like to think like a few signs that show that you're kinda entering a new season is you feel restless even when life looks fine on paper. You're becoming more selective with your time and energy. I think it's really cool, when you start being particular about who you're gonna allow in your space when you have time to yourself, who you wanna share it with, and what that looks like.

Kimberly Rash: Things that once felt important no longer feel meaningful. You're drawn toward learning, healing, creative, or serving in new ways. You're feeling called towards something you can't fully explain yet. You're craving authenticity more than approval. And if you're experiencing any of these things, don't panic.

Kimberly Rash: And when you have teenagers, like you lose control, and that's a whole different part of Parenting and identifying yourself as a parent because you used to be your child's world, and now they're stretching for independence, and there's more headbutting and more battles. And not saying everyone experiences these things, but there are growing pains in children and parents.

Kimberly Rash: then once your kids are all grown up and you've done a great job and you've sent them off into this world, you spent your whole life identified as Mom, identified as, Mrs. So-and-So. This was your life, and now you're left to your own devices, so to speak. you still may have your husband or mate, whomever, in your life.

Kimberly Rash: And you go from being just on it to having all this time to yourself going, "Now what do I do? What does this look like? Who the freak am I? Who am I? What do I actually like doing? What are things that I enjoyed doing long before I became so overwhelmed," taking care of everybody else. And I won't even say overwhelmed, but just that was your identity.

Kimberly Rash: you identified with being whatever that position was, and that now you're, like, looking around trying to figure out, okay, did I even like that job? Do I even wanna still keep doing that job? now that I'm leaving that job, what piques my interest? Who am I? What do I love?

Kimberly Rash: it's hard to trust that you're going in the right direction sometimes. people look at you and they're just like... Even doing what I'm doing right now, right? So I'm doing all the things I like doing. I garden. I started a little farm cart. I like to put my little wares out there. I have my little beeswax wraps.

Kimberly Rash: I have my Etsy shop that I'm still trying to get up and off the ground and people will be like, "Who are you?" where is all this coming from?" And honestly, you wanna know where it's coming from?

Kimberly Rash: And, "Oh, you don't have time for me anymore. You're so busy always doing all these other things," and blah, blah, blah. And it's not that I'm too busy for them, I'm just too busy trying to reach the goals that I wanna reach in my lifetime that make me happy. Because I have spent the majority of my life honestly making everyone else happy, taking care of everybody else, legitimately, and been people's shoulder to cry on, and I've been a safe haven.

Kimberly Rash: And when that happened, that kind of kickstarted the whole, "What am I doing? Why am I spending more of my time pouring into everyone but me?" And I'm not saying it wasn't worth pouring into people. I still pour into people, but I remind me that I'm important, too. I have a place. I should be listened to. I actually should figure out what I like to do and then step out and do it, even if it goes against what I was raised as, even

Kimberly Rash: If I end up with a different personality, for the love of God, because I'm setting better boundaries. and let's not even say different personality. It's just a different perspective of the way people would see me, and that's scary. That's scary for me, and that would be scary for a person walking through changing their identity to a certain degree, and it's not like you're trying to do an overhaul.

Kimberly Rash: You're, y- you're just learning. your brain is bigger. You're expanding your thought. You're understanding that, you know what, your line of thinking doesn't have to be just what they drill in your head. I was in church for 44 years, and I love the Bible. It is an amazing book. I love the Lord my God with all my heart, mind, and soul, and I love my neighbor as I love myself.

Kimberly Rash: Go mind your business. I'm going to pour into me and be happy and live my life and do the things I wanna do And I'm gonna become who I wanna become because it's okay to change. It's okay to outgrow old belief systems. It's okay to not always be that girl. And you know what? On top of being like the girl who used to rescue everybody, it was a very ungrateful position to be in because you were always also the person people blamed for everything.

Kimberly Rash: I would have poured into or they would have poured into me and I'm just like, "You do you, boo. Whatever makes you happy." my opinion should be none of your business, and your opinion is none of mine

Kimberly Rash: And that's hard because judgment is a very slippery slope. in the Bible it says take the plank out of your own eye before you go trying to take it out of somebody else's eye, right?

Kimberly Rash: And that can be so easy to say because I know a lot of people that do it and they say, "Oh, look what you're doing." But honestly, you're judging me. And in the Bible it says, "Judge not, lest you be judged yourself. And in the same measure in which you are judging someone, it will be poured out back to you." So w- what are you doing?

Kimberly Rash: I think the world would be really great if most people just minded their business and loved people. The religion of the world should actually just be called love

Kimberly Rash: I just want you to know that it's okay. You don't have to have every answer, and you don't need a five-year plan. You don't need permission from anybody to tell you anything when it comes to you being who you wanna be

Kimberly Rash: Sometimes growth simply starts with acknowledging, "I am not who I used to be, and that's okay." The next version of you doesn't appear overnight. She emerges one choice at a time, one new interest at a time, one stepping away from something that no longer serves you at a time, one brave conversation, one small step, one decision to honor what is true for you

Kimberly Rash: Journal that. Write that down. Let that resonate with you for a little while, and ask yourself why

Kimberly Rash: then say, " Hmm, I think I'm gonna let that go now." I think I'm gonna just release that And slowly but surely, I'm just going to become a better version of me. Because I'm still me. At the base of me, I am still the same Kimberly that I've been all my life.

Kimberly Rash: I have always been kind. I have always been loving. I have always taken care of people. It is my joy and my pleasure. What comes along with that sometimes is not a joy and a pleasure, getting taken advantage of, always being expected to be that person. The minute you change or set a boundary because someone just went over the top, and did something completely inappropriate and broke a boundary, and you're the jerk.

Kimberly Rash: When people truly have a problem with you, most of the time, and this is for me too, if I have a problem with somebody, I really need to reflect upon myself and say, "Why is this bothering me so much? why is it making me angry? And honestly, why should it matter?

Kimberly Rash: You love somebody. So if someone's doing something in your life and you're like, they're making a decision, and honestly, it does not impact your life whatsoever, really Then why are you getting mad? Why are you getting upset because they're doing something that maybe you don't agree with? But just because you don't agree with it doesn't mean you have a right to say anything Maybe we think we're saving them from something.

Kimberly Rash: upset that they're going out and doing something maybe we never would've been brave enough to do. Maybe It would be nice because you've always had to be the responsible one to be able to be as carefree and just make off-the-whim decisions and just go about and do what you wanna do with no repercussions really Because the problem probably wasn't with that person, the problem probably was with you and being like, "Man, why has my, life always been like this?

Kimberly Rash: Why have I always had to be responsible for everybody? Why have I always had to do this, and that?" you know what? So and so deserves to be happy, and I should be happy for them. We need to Be okay with other people changing. Watching other people change makes us uncomfortable sometimes. And you know what?

Kimberly Rash: We should just be cheering them on. And granted, let me state, obviously, if someone's changing for the worse, they're addicted to drugs or they're addicted to alcohol or they're addicted to things that are not serving them well, I'm not saying don't intervene, don't say anything, don't do anything.

Kimberly Rash: And when you can do that pretty much all the time with pretty much any person in any situation, then you know you've grown. You've grown into a better person. You've grown into a better version of yourself

Kimberly Rash: Because if they're not changing at all and you're not changing at all, your life is gonna be very mundane. And some people, because they're scared, are gonna be okay with mundane, and that's not for me to judge. Go ahead, be mundane. That's all right. It's all right if you're happy about it. But if you're not, and inside you feel like you're sinking and you're dying because you're trapped somewhere, or in a relationship, or in a part of your life that you're just miserable about, then go and change it.

Kimberly Rash: Only you can change you. No one else is gonna do it for you

Kimberly Rash: So if you've been feeling disconnected or restless or unsure of where you fit lately, I want you to know you're not alone. Some seasons aren't about finding yourself, they're about allowing yourself to become. You don't have to change your whole life overnight. Just take one small step toward the person that you're becoming And until the next time, stay rooted, release what no longer serves you, and rise into what's next.