Your Hormonal Handbook with Berrion Berry

Episode 136 • 23rd January 2024 • Momma Has Goals • Kelsey Smith

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So in your menstrual phase the first thing I want you to do is write down everything you hate looking at and everything you love looking okay, in the follicular phase so in phase two, this is when you're going to literally audit your house I want you to be manic about it lay iPad out checklist let's go what do we need more of what do we need less of where's this where's that where would I like it to be get really meticulous in the follicular phase and then in the opulent Tori sees and those three days after execute, get it done. Clear it all up.

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Let's reimagine mom life together. Mama high schools is your hub for relatable support and helpful resources that help you fuel yourself alongside motherhood. Your identity is bigger than mom, and whatever your goals are. Together, we're making them a reality. Hey, Mama, this episode is jam packed. So good today. Honestly, listen in if that's all you can do, but if you can grab a notebook or be able to take some notes as we go. This has some power packed information about how hormones your nervous system in different ways to just show up as a parent. Our guest today Barry on Barry also goes by Barry is a women's health coach and fertility awareness educator. She teaches modern women how to embrace their hormonal nature, from hormone balancing to cycle syncing to mood enhancing and self healing, very covers it all and is excited to help women live a happy, healthy, wholesome life, we break into how she got started how different cycle phases matter how you can work alongside of them accomplish your goals alongside of them, different foods that you should be eating throughout the month. And when how mental health anxiety and stress can impact this, as well as pregnancy, menopause as well as having irregular cycles to regular cycles. Barry also has a blended family and is a step mama to her boyfriend's two little kids as we talk about the dynamic that they've created and how they've set themselves up for success. So grab those headphones, grab a notebook if you can, and dive on in with us. Very I'm so excited to have you here. When we go into being ambitious women, and we're looking to achieve our goals. I think that so often we focus on this like spreadsheet or map I'm 100% Guilty of the goals that we want to go achieve the experiences we want to have with our family these things we want to do. And we so often don't take a step back and go, Okay, how do I need to feel and who do I need to be in order to do those things in order to be able to show up for my family. And we then will look at maybe like our weight or how far we can run and our health in these different ways. And we don't actually look at the inside and our hormones and some of the things that we don't necessarily have control over 100%. But we have to learn how to navigate and how to make the best of our ability. So I want to just start big picture overall hormone health. How did you get started? And for someone that's listening, and it's like, I know I have hormones, but what do you mean hormone health? How would you talk through that?

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this. And that was January of: 2018

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it's interesting because I'm thinking about, I feel like I've been pretty lucky with my periods. I have friends and family members that have definitely expected It's like excruciating pain, they can't even get up out of bed. And I can hear some of those people that if I were to go to say this to right now, they would be like, No, I'm different. I have this thing going on, or I have this. So what would you say to someone just before we dive in, that's maybe already thinking that we can help them come along. If they're thinking, this wouldn't work for me because of XYZ.

5:21

I think the first thing is whether or not you're right or wrong, the answer is yes. What you believe is what's ultimately going to come true. And I have heard countless stories of people having painful periods, from endometriosis to PCOS to like everything under the sun. I've truly heard it all. And when I say you really can have a pain free period, you can but also know that there is a spectrum. Okay. So for someone like me who had really bad cramps, it only took me 30 days to transform my cycle. But if someone has, let's say endometriosis, I wouldn't tell her, it's only going to take 30 days to transform her cycle, actually, it probably going to take a lot longer. Because there's a lot more at play in the body than just, let's say, hormonal imbalance. There's a lot of autoimmune related things going on. So I think you have to realize that this is like an onion. And it's like, layer by layer. But I'm also someone that loves to give tangible tips. Can I give some really quick? Yes, please always grow up, start drinking red raspberry leaf tea almost every single day, eight to 12 ounces. If you have a painful period, do it for 30 days and tell me your period is like not paying like it's, there is so much power in herbs that we don't really realize in our society. And I'm not saying that from this woowoo perspective, it's like traditional Chinese medicine. Top tier, red raspberry leaf tea is about five or $6 at your local grocery store, grab it, drink it every single day and watch the pain decrease. Because it helps to strengthen and tone the muscles of the uterus. It also helps to decrease prostaglandins, which are often associated with cramping. The second thing, following an anti inflammatory diet, I know you've heard it once. I'm gonna say it again, because we're not going to ever stop saying it. This helps decrease inflammation in the body. When you have a very inflamed body, you often have an extremely painful period. If you can decrease the inflammation in the body, then you can have a better period, period. Yeah. So for someone that isn't familiar with a diet like that, what are some top foods to avoid and some top Go twos? Okay, so your non negotiables are always going to be protein healthy fat and fiber at every single meal. In terms of what to avoid people hate when I say this, but our favorite star B's is filled with sugar. Okay, we love I love a caramel grilled a latte. I love a caramel macchiato filled with sugar. Okay, so decrease the caffeine intake, decrease the sugar intake, decrease the alcohol intake, those three things can help decrease inflammation in the body. Now you might be thinking, what do I need more of and I will tell you to tell the girls on Instagram or Tiktok, or wherever I want you to ROY G BIV. Just like the rainbow, your diet. So in the first phase of your cycle, which is your menstrual phase, these are the days that you're bleeding, usually days one through seven, you're gonna focus on getting more red and orange food in your diet. And that's because often you're looking for those nutrients and just think of it like this, your body is releasing red, it needs more red. Okay, that's just like one way to ensure that you're getting the right nutrients and without having to think too hard. Then in the second phase of your cycle, so after your period, but pre ovulation in the follicular phase, so dazes eight through 14, you're really gonna YG it we're going for our yellows and our green foods. You can even do this when you're ovulating. ovulation is the third phase of your cycle. This is a phase that is literally the shortest but we do reap a lot of benefits pre and post ovulation. I know people don't believe it, but it does. It's a thing I promise and what we can delve into that more but you want to be having these foods because fermented food helps the body actually detoxify estrogen metabolize the estrogen and when your body is properly metabolizing estrogen, it helps actually eliminate a lot of imbalances that are present that are yielding pain, low energy, hormonal acne, mood swings, okay. And so that would be your phase two and three. So your follicular and Abila Tori phases. Again, you're going to go for those yellow and green foods. And then in the luteal phase. So technically, just after you ovulate for about 12 days, you're going to be in the fourth phase of your cycle called the luteal phase. And this is what we're going to believe it. So we've got our blue or Indigos. In our violets. Again, these are really great for the micronutrients and minerals that are present are vitamin E, or vitamin A Fleur, so many different nutrients, iron, zinc, magnesium, but what you're really looking to do is help the body again, get rid of the estrogen, a lot of us in our modern society and the way that we eat, our body doesn't actually metabolize estrogen efficiently. And so it's instead of exiting the body, it's re entering our bloodstream, which is why we have the heavy flows. While we might have migraines, and all those unhappy feelings of PMS, so I hope Yeah,

10:52

oh my gosh, that was so good. And your stepchildren are similar in age to my kids. And there's this kind of phase of filler plate with color and get them to eat all the different colors. And that's exactly what that reminded me of. And you have a shopping guide for these different phases, right? For the mom that just wants to like, plug and play, she's printed out, tell me what to buy and all know when to eat it? Where can they access that.

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So there's two places for the plug and play, you already know what your meal plan looks like, I have a cycle support planner that literally helps you plan your life. It's a digital planner. And it literally helps you track all the different habits and breaks down the phases, even how to be productive. It's like 30 bucks on my website. It's literally called cycle support cleaner. It's that simple. But if you're somebody who's I want to be a little bit more regimented and need a lot more support with this, I would highly recommend my period nutrition plan. It's a 28 day meal plan 119 pages, so it gives you recipes shopping list. And like every question you might have, it answers it. So good. I love that. Okay, so there's heavy bleeding.

12:03

What are some of the other kind of red flags? If someone's just like, Yeah, I mean, I don't feel good. But how do I know I always think about this, like when I gave birth to my first son, and they're like, what's your pain level one to 10? And I'm like, I mean, I'm in pain. But if you cut my leg off, I'd probably be in more pain. Like, I don't know how to really quantify this. It's the most pain I've been in. So if someone's sitting there, and I don't know, do I have bad periods? Like I can't tell how someone else is feeling in their period? What are some of the other red flags to know that maybe you should look into your hormones, your mood

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swings, I would argue that is the biggest one. And it's so funny. I'm saying that because I feel a little teeny people, toddlers really no how to just push a button. But I would say mood shifts is one of the biggest ones. The second would be energy levels, especially for moms energy. If you're waking up in the morning, and you cannot function without your cup of coffee, you need to be looking at your hormones. Of course, heavy bleeding is like one of the ones where I'm like, Yes, but also it depends on the color of the bleed. So let's say for instance, your blood is like stop sign red, that's actually okay. It's you do have a heavier flow, but also that's a healthy bleed. Whereas if your bleed is more on the purple side, that actually be a sign of maybe an estrogen dominance. And so you would want more fermented foods, making sure you're supporting the liver and looking at the hormones a little bit deeper. And then mood energy. bullied, cramps, if you're cramping or bloating is so valid if your bloating makes you look like you're pregnant and you're not. If you're cramping is so bad that you literally cannot walk or get out of bed unless you had a painkiller. Those are definitely signs you need to look into the hormones a little bit more. And before even looking into them more I would highly recommend you change your daily habits. I'm gonna rattle off some habits for the girls because listen, I know you're busy. Okay, moms are busy. So every single day, take a 20 minute walk. Literally start your day with a 20 minute walk if you can, from their eating three to five times a day. This is going to help stabilize the blood sugar levels, which will help stabilize energy levels and like your mood, which we all want, right? Especially PTA moms. I dealt with PTA last year and I was like, oh my god, this is so intense, and making sure you're taking a probiotic. Now I know a lot of people are like, do I have to take a probiotic? I 10 out of 10 recommend it to everyone across the board. Just because there's too many toxins in our day to day life and not enough support for our liver to process through those toxins and that's gonna save you in a great multivitamin. People always ask me the multivitamin I recommend. So depending on what your needs are, normally I go straight for minerals and there's a drinkable multivitamin that I take From mereo wellness, it's called the PMs elixir. I like the one that tastes like lemonade. I'm gonna recommend you do the one that tastes like lemonade. But those would be the habits I would recommend implementing. And then also getting into a regular sleep routine, which is really hard. When kids are tiny and they're gone. They're potty training. It's difficult. I know. But it's, yeah,

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I think we have to be honest with ourselves, right? For those that listen to this podcast, they've heard me preach 100 times. I'm like the night owl. But we are so much in control of our shifts. And when we go to sleep and creating some of those habits, and we have to remind ourselves to care for our health. I am curious, though, are these recommendations and these habits? Are these really only applicable to adults? Or what about our girls that are starting their cycles, our daughters, and if we're noticing that daughters are having these painful periods, or they're having some of these same mood swings, like that's normal in some ways, right? teen years and hormones and all of that, that you're trying to navigate? How do you know when you can start implementing some other things for your

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kid, when it comes to the nutritional side of things, I always am like, you have to trust yourself. And if you feel like you need to talk to your pediatrician do that. And that's just because it gets really dicey with preteens in Liga fiction. But one thing I would encourage is fermented foods, you can always give fermented foods, fermented foods are very similar to a probiotic. And so it can help the body metabolize. Second thing is giving them a great baseline for understanding their menstrual cycle and the phases of their cycle. And there's a really great brand I came across recently called Tina. It's T E, N A. And they're designed for preteens, and it helps them actually track their cycles, like they literally just sent me the cutest little thermometer and I'm like, Oh my gosh, this is so cute. But I would recommend utilizing a resource such as that, because it helps them their site. preteen cycles are irregular more often than not. And that's just because the hormones are not fully developed, fermented foods, sleeping, and then honestly helping them prioritize who they're friends with. So I think a lot of times, we as adults talk about trauma, and we're very aware of protecting our energy. But I think it's very important, especially with the rise of social media, that as a parent, and specifically as a mother, you are protecting what your child is exposed to and who they're exposed to. I'm not saying you have to say no to all of the friends, but maybe teaching your child that if a person's robbing them of their peace, even at 11 years old, they gotta go because it's negatively impacting their nervous system, which is negatively impacting their endocrine system. I know that was like a lot. So we need to unpack it some more we can but no, I

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think that's so important. How would you recommend we have to lead by example, right? Before we can tell our 11 year old PE Susie's not good for you. And we need to figure out how to make better friends. How do you do that, as a mom, we as a woman, if you're sitting in, you're realizing some of your associations aren't the best associations, they're not bringing you joy, they're not allowing you to be your best self. And that in turn is impacting your nervous system, how you parent, how you're feeling, and all these different areas of your cycle and everything? How do you get the confidence to really show up for yourself? Gosh, that

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is such a good question. And I have always been the boundaries kind of person. Like I grew up in a very masculine home, I have three older brothers, and I'm the only girl and I grew up in a military family. So for me boundaries are like my bestie. But I think as a parent, you have to be really honest with yourself about who you're showing your children to, maybe let's just say I'm gonna use my friend April. I love my friend, April, but maybe April is like a good influence for just me. But do I want APR to be influencing my children? And if I do, what does that do to me? How is that impacting what is she like encouraging and what is she like discouraging? I think going through, for lack of better words, the chopping block with people and just being like, Does this person relax my nervousness? Yes or No? If they're not relaxing your nervous system, first do your own work and figure out what it is. Number two, have a conversation. Number three, if nothing changes, what are you going to choose yourself and your child and your future your peace or person and pleasing them? And honestly, if you're a people pleaser, I'm sorry, that might not have been helpful. But it is really it's just how I process through things. Yeah,

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we all only have one life and we need to nurture our life without wasting time. What phase of our cycle is the best time to do this reflection? Where are we going to be most receptive to really looking at our association?

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I always say A looking into your luteal phase is actually the best time to reflect because you're already looking for problems. So you can be really cutthroat in your luteal phase, don't communicate during this phase, just really analyze and journal through it in your menstrual phase, you can actually with that a little bit more because of how the brain changes in the menstrual phase, and you are looking for more creative ways to actually resolve issues in your menstrual phase, you can ideate then once you're done with your period, that's when you communicate. And if you're like, oh, this person has a really strong personality and feeling 100% confidence and communicate, do it when you're ovulating. Because no one's going to tell you no. Or if they do, it'll roll off your shoulder and it will even faze you as oh, this person like felt some type of way about what I said are

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amazing. Okay, so we are going to be about a month into the new year when this is released. And when we have that new year energy of vibes and goals and going after everything. How can we use these four different sections and cycles to nurture a process that equals success? Right? Because we can't just take on 12 new habits and day one, maybe we can in one of our phases, maybe it will tell me that. But overall, we typically need to take bite sizes and we need to take on one thing at a time. So what would that look like if someone has something that they really want to accomplish this year? How can they use their next cycle the full four cycles to really create a habit that this becomes a part of their lifestyle?

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Okay, I'm gonna give two examples of that's okay. And that's because I'm thinking about people who are like working but also like for professional and then an example for personal. So if you were doing this for a professional standpoint, once you give yourself an eight week runway to accomplish a set goal, this is what I teach my clients in my program literally called workflow, I teach them a format called workflow. Okay, so phase one of your cycle ministration is ideation. Okay, so this is where you can go into literally brainstorm everything, face to your follicular phase. This is where I say creation. So this is where you're getting really detail oriented and really like specific about what needs to get done, how it needs to get done, and why it needs to get done. And when be like very micro with those details. I don't care how obnoxious it is. Because when you're in your Agulla Tory phase and you're early luteal phase, that's phase three. And then technically, phase four is only do phase but like the energy rate after ovulation for two or three days is shifts salon. So I always tell people execution, get it done. Take the action batch create the content. If you're launching the product, get it done. This is like all pre work. Then that luteal phase you are going to evaluate. Okay, so that just took you basically through your first four weeks. Then when you're on your period, again, you're going to reflect and say okay, what is still open, what loops are still open. Are there any bonuses I want to include? Are there any upgrades? Are there any trainings? What else do I want to add to this? Because we're getting back into ideation again, you're gonna flush it out. When you're in week six, which would be again, your follicular phase again, we're going to flush it out again, then when we get to ovulation. That's go time. That's the launch time. So I take people through a pre and post launch situation. But at a high level, that's what you would do. And then when you get to your luteal phase again, phase four, week eight. Now we're doing post launch close out post program close out. What happened? Where are your numbers? Did you hit your goal? Did you miss your goal? what needed to be tweaked when needed to be because you get to be really critical in the details.

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So that's what I do. professionally. That's what I teach people professionally. So for the professional for someone that's in a career that they don't get to dictate when the launches or what they have going on. I know you teach this in your program. So can you just give us a kind of overview of how when you're not in control the schedule or the launches, how you can apply your

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phases to it. Let me give it to you too. For me too, for you. That's something I like to teach people. So you're going to have two phases that are really designed for you in just reflecting and more back end stuff and then two phases that is really going to be externally focused in on everyone else. So phase one menstrual phase, that's a me phase back end. This is a time where you're not talking to people. So let's say for instance, you are a project manager and you've got so many different things you're moving so many different things are better. Yeah. What's more relatable project manager or teacher?

24:56

I don't know both. I'm gonna go with teacher because I feel like that so different than like your other example you gave you because you have to talk to people every day,

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during the menstrual phase, when you're a teacher, I want you to think about your top three priorities, obviously teaching, but then think about all of those extra things, you have to do the lesson planning all of that. And you're going to put, if you can push it to the menstrual phase, push it to the menstrual phase, or push it to the luteal phase. Okay, I know parent teacher conferences, it's set in stone. But guess what, that before the school year starts? Do you can plan accordingly. Okay. So that's really to do is say pick how you want to prioritize your energy. When you're in that follicular and IV LaTorre phase, that's when you're showing up and you're showing up in a different way. What I've learned is sometimes you're a better communicator, and you're ambulatory phase. That's when the the I would recommend as a teacher, you actually teach the harder concepts. Not because you don't know. Or if you can do it in your luteal phase, but because you'll have more patience with your students in your Abila Tory phase more often than not, when you're in your luteal phase, your luteal phase is that phase where you're like already irritable, why are you breathing near me? I don't want to hear your voice. You're already like that. So why would you teach a hard concept, you would actually utilize that during your follicular and Avi LaTorre. Phase. And for people who have really rented jobs, I want you to think about your skill set. Okay, so if your skill set is teaching, communicating, that's it, you're always going to be on, but the way that you're on is going to be different. Second, don't be afraid to ask for help. Do it, delete it, or delegate it. Either you're going to do it and decide you're doing it. Or you're going to delete it off your your to do list and your task list or you're going to delegate it, you can actually delegate things to a lot of students, I delegate things to my three and a half year old stepdaughter all of the time. Why? Because I know she will be able to communicate things to her brother that I just don't have the patience for. I know it sounds crazy. But she does have the capacity. And I think a lot of people forget that children do have that capacity, especially with teaching. I talk to teachers so much. I'm so stressed out. I'm so overwhelmed. I'm like timeout, you have to control. Yeah, what do you want it to be? So I teach my teachers, to, for me, to for you. To for me being these are my phases where I get to just scale back my energy and how I'm showing up. And the two three or the two phases or two weeks better yet where you're showing up fully in more

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confidently Yes, so good. Okay, I took you off of the personal one now. So I do want you to walk us through that for that person that has a personal goal coming into this year. And they really want to optimize these four cycles to hit those goals. What is your framework and example there?

27:52

Give me one of your goals? Well, we need a tangible example. Because I have so many different ways to go about this. I'm gonna say that

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my two and I think that's really common in our community. And you can pick one is either like house clutter and tidying or health and like moving your body.

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I'm gonna go with House clutter and tidying. And that's because of the health one isn't something you can do and just for like four phases. Yeah, that's a whole lifestyle over Yeah. So here's exactly how we would declutter and spark some joy with our cleaning process. Okay. So in your menstrual phase, the first thing I want you to do is write down everything you hate looking at, and everything you love looking. Okay, in the follicular phase, so in phase two, this is when you're going to literally audit your house. I want you to be manic about it, like iPad, our checklist. Let's go what do we need more of what do we need less of where's this? Where's that? Where would I like it to be get really meticulous in the follicular phase, and then in the ocular Tori C's and those three days after? execute it, get it done? Clear it all up. Now you could go room by room. It just depends on how you like to clean everyone has their own way of doing it. Or you could do a digital declutter day by day, you just have to pick and choose. But do it in that window of time. Don't try to do it all over the place. Because then you're going to live in a house that's dirty, and you're going to be like, Oh my God, what happened? Yeah, in the luteal phase, you're then going to step back and say, Okay, what have I accomplished? What do I need more of what do I need less of? What you'll notice is there's constantly two weeks of Shin basically two weeks of reflection. I think that if you can just wrap your head around that you're good to go not because it's like an overly simplified way of doing it but because I've tried doing it so nuanced before. It just leaves me upset. If you're trying to build in a A new habit for a health goal. Start with a micro habit and build on it. So a micro habit might be, I'm going to start my day with a smoothie every single day. And inside of the smoothie, I've been doing this. So that's why I'm using this as an example. And so this may be one banana. For strawberries, some colostrum effing pop it into prenatal. Those are so hard to take, like prenatals. I'm like, why is there so many of you putting into I've been splitting the capsule during the prenatal blending it and I have that before I have anything else. Yeah. Okay. Now I know the next step is once I've had my smoothie, I'm going to go walk the dog. Once I've walked the dog, I'm going to do my meditation and my journaling, micro habits that you can stack or habit stacking for lack of better words. And you should be well on your way to your goal. So

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good. I love it. I love building on things. I agree that is the number one key to success is when you can build on top of it. Now, for people that are in different scenarios with their cycles. I'm currently pregnant people are maybe in there. I can't even think of the face of it right now. What is it called when you stop getting your period? menopause, menopause, people that are in menopause, that are no longer getting their period? Or someone that doesn't have regular periods? What how does this play into each

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of those different scenarios? Gosh, everything of pregnancy is its own box. So if you're pregnant, congratulations, one happy for you. Number two, give yourself some grace. You're pregnant, be pregnant, like you real world. Okay, we are Your servants. That's how I feel when it comes to pregnancy. And I know it sounds silly. But I think that society has told women they have to do this or be this way and show up like that. And then like, if you have the liberty to relax a little bit, please do sit in your pregnancy hour and just let the belly like I just love that for the but for the women who have irregular cycles. The first thing you want to do is start tracking your basal body temperature, your cervical placement in your cervical mucus. The reason we're doing this is because we need to confirm whether or not you are ovulating. If you're ovulating. We'll know where you are in your cycle. Because basically ovulation is the only event in the menstrual cycle that actually hurts. It's the main event. So if you're ovulating if your cervical fluid if you've never heard of cervical fluid friends, it's basically when you wake up in the morning, and let's say you go to tingle, but then you notice like there's some discharge. That is the cervical fluid. Okay, if it looks like a raw and white. Yeah, we're ovulating. If it doesn't, if it looks like more, say lotion like then you're not ovulating. So you can literally look at your panties and see your cervical mucus and know where you are in. If it looks more like lotion, then you're approaching ovulation or ovulation is just past and just the reason you're tracking your cervix placement is because with your cervix, specifically it moves throughout the menstrual cycle, which a lot of people don't know. That is one of my favorite markers for people who have irregular cycles and those who are menopausal your cervix still moves place. The higher up your index finger can go into the vaginal canal and you can actually feel your cervix. The closer to ovulation you are. If you were to take your finger and touch the tip of your nose versus touching your cupid's bow. They're going to feel different. your cervix has moved. If it feels like your cupid's bow which top of your lip that means you're approaching ovulation more often not you are ovulating but you cross reference with your cervical fluid. And then if it feels like the tip of your nose, it means you're not ovulating, you're not close to ovulating. So then obviously, we don't really care. I don't say we don't really care. But it just lets you understand where you are and where you aren't. You're looking to be ovulating if you're if you have an irregular site, because that way we can get your period back and give you a good starting now for menopause. That's a whole new world. Okay. And the reason I say it's a whole new world is because there's a lot of research coming out that it's constantly changing about menopause. So it's like hard to give a concrete example but I love to tell people who have gone through menopause. One, it's only a 24 hour event even though I know you're screaming as I said that I'm sorry, I know my rules. Okay. It is only a 24 hour event. It might feel much longer than that because of the hormonal shifts, but the best thing about it is you can gauge your energy. So if you can just track your energy throughout the month as a menopausal woman, if you can track your basal body temperature, just like you would do with in a regular cycle you do with menopause if you're tracking the temperature, you'll see different rises, different highs and lows was or rise and fall. And often like when you would normally ovulate as somebody who has a period, there's a spike, just after you've ovulated. There's a dip just below you off, or just before ovulation and then a spike just after ovulation. That could be an indication of what the changes that are happening throughout the month with, I think it's just data from the body. But I have often heard menopausal women just be like, I'm done. I've done my time here. I'm good, I'm happy. But it's those who are Peri menopausal, trying to figure it out that are like more so going to benefit from what I just said in regards to tracking the basal body temperature, even to tracking their cervix placement and cervical mucus that can be really beneficial. And I do have a fertility tracking guide on my website. I know I just threw a lot at you guys. But it's all there too. Yeah.

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But at the core, whether you're pregnant menopausal, regular periods, irregular periods, you're going to have different areas of the month that you're going to have higher energy, lower energy, and you can use these different tactics and tools to be able to track that and help guide how you're feeling throughout the month. Is that correct? pregnancies, the only exception to the rule, and that's because pregnancy uses a different type of estrogen. Oh, now my area of expertise is preconception. Yeah, once you have conceived,

36:27

I pass you to the proper people. I press you over to the midwives and all of those people, because there's a lot of different fluctuations and changes that happen. And I'll say there's a different type of estrogen. Most women don't know this, but there's four different types of estrogen. And when you say estrogen, are we talking about just this type of estrogen that estrogen. I know pregnancy, estrogen, and menopausal estrogen is different. So I always tell people who are pregnant, you really are in a league of your own and not to downplay it. It's just everyone. You experience different things throughout the month. But imagine what you're experiencing per the trimester as well. Yeah, no, that makes sense. It's so interesting, though. Okay, so other things that come into play are like mental health, anxiety, stress, all of those different kinds of variables that come in and have to do with hormones. So talk to me about where they overlap, where they have nothing to do with each other and how they can support each other. I love to talk about this specifically, because I feel like people think being hormonal is bad, and I think it is such a good thing. But specifically after you ovulate, research shares, that the dip in estrogen is also associated with a dip in serotonin production anxiety, the sassiness the mood swings, the like, don't look at me, don't. It's okay, what you it's actually 100%. Okay, it's natural. I'm not excusing bad behavior, okay. But what I am saying is, you want to do the best you can to support your body, just simply being aware that your serotonin levels are not going to be as high in the second half of your cycle, because of a drop in estrogen I find is really, really reassuring for a lot of people. The second thing I always tell people is if you're a moody bird, give yourself space and grace, but also effectively communicate. I can't tell you how important it is to effectively communicate with people on your team. Whether that be in your personal life, or your professional life, just them knowing, hey, this is where you are or this is what's going on just in case I'm actually not in the best headspace right now. I need a little extra help or I need a little extra space really does help. And so when it comes to menstrual moodiness, anxiety, I've dealt with a lot of people who have depression or premenstrual dysphoria disorder, also known as PMDD. They have so much peace just knowing that one thing. Now I'm not going to just talk about the problem. Let me give you a solution because notice about oh, we got to be about it. Okay. So, that being said, one of my favorite things to do is to recommend people take the drinkable multivitamin I recommend it. Reason I recommended that is because it's literally formulated by somebody who has premenstrual dysphoric disorder where she has these thoughts that are creeping in and making her feel less than amazing. Not only this, but often a mineral deficiency in the body can present itself not only as a mood swing, but also migraine. So we've you know, that Oh, I have really bad migraines, and I'm really moody, or I'm emotional, like super sensitive or I'm just a bi Tch, because that's usually where I will fall in. I don't even try to hide that I will fall in the end. very short, very snappy. When I drink that consistently, my life is so much better because the mineral stores actually help with the shift in serotonin production, which actually helps produce more of that serotonin that we actually need. So there's a lot of people who do like adrenal cocktails or like your sleepy girl mocktails those are actually really great. That's awesome. Okay,

40:22

so we have the multivitamin. Let's give a sleepy girl mocktail example, what is one of your favorite things to put in there?

40:29

I personally, just the I think the brand is maybe it's called Moon juice, but I do something called magnesium ohm. And so it's magnesium. It's magnesium O M, F. Yeah, I just put that in some water. And that's it. I know a lot of people like to do tart cherry juice. I personally am more of a wild blueberry juice girl. I find that so much better when it comes to so many things in life, but especially helping me get deeper sleep. So that's what I would recommend. They're

40:56

amazing. Love it. So for someone that is feeling like they have so many moving pieces in their life, you guys have split custody, you have little kids coming in and out of the time you're taking on the stepmom role alongside your business and everything else. Plus, then we have this anxiety, those bi tch moments, as you mentioned, and you're trying to balance all the things, obviously balancing our hormones helps that. But what are some other tangible ways that you just navigate mom life alongside trying to always improve your body and your health and your life? And just really take each day

41:31

as a couple holes? I love that question. But I think it's by creating something called Daily standards. So there's a gentleman who is in the personal development world, his name is Derek e mills. And he came up with this concept of daily standards where basically there are seven categories. And you do three non negotiable behaviors, habits, whatever for these categories. Now, naturally, I took it and made it my own because I was like, this is boring and not q. So the acronym I recommend is called Perfect. Obvious like, okay, P is for personal health and well being. E is for energy and emotions. R is for relationships, and family. Friendships, of course, F is for finances. E is for environment and experiences. C is for career, T is for time. And I've created daily standards for these my top standards or my top non negotiables in each of these areas. And what you'll notice is that personal health and well being is at the forefront if you've got a three year old who is having a meltdown. Listen, my baby cam, she is oh, I'm like why are you still screaming? Like how do you scream so loud for so long? Or you'll get it? What do you need? It's as simple as saying, Hey, we're gonna go for a walk. Let me know when you're ready to go. And then I actually removed myself to make sure my nervous systems, okay. And then when she's calmed down, I go to her, give her a hug. And then we go for that walk. Yeah, I know that might seem so like small. But it's a way to not only have quality time with your child, but also to prioritize your health and well being. Because the tantrums impact you just as much as it impacts the child. You need to know that you're safe just as much as your child needs to know that they're safe. And you can process on that walk. If you're lucky and fortunate enough, maybe they know how to process through and explain why they did what they did. So I think that is probably the number one way to balance it all. Because I don't think that balancing life and hormones. There's over 50 hormones at play in the human body at any given time. hormonal balance is just a cute marketing term, in my opinion, for more harmony is where it's at. And that's like where everything is ebbing and flowing the right way. Also remember, you're not always in control, but you are in charge. Okay, that was a lot of Tory for the roof. No,

44:14

that is so good. Again, like you said, you're not always in control. But you are in charge. I think that's worth repeating. And I think that shows up into every different area of our life. And coming into a blended family. I am super curious to just know what are some of the ways that you've made that work so well for you, in the sense of you're not always in charge of everything but you are able to respond, you are able to react and create what you are able to create. What are some ways that you've made that work for you?

44:45

It's so funny. If you talk to me six months ago, I wouldn't have an answer for you because it is difficult. But I do think what's really worked for me is being very honest with my boyfriend and his wife and saying, Look, you all had time to actual night to this work having children. And now that children are here, and this is life. I didn't have that. Is it called incubation period. I didn't really like acclamation it was my boyfriend and I went on our first date. i By chance, met the kids literally the very next day, him and I went on our first date, we ran into each other, and we knew we were each other's people. But I didn't have kids, but also being very grounded and centered in who I am. And my role, they are my boyfriend's children. I am his support with the children. Therefore I am support for the children. And me knowing my role has made things so much easier. Because no one's ever said to me, this is your role. It's just where I've chosen to be. Yeah. Because I respect his dynamic with his children. But I also respect his ex wife as their mother, his daughter was asking a few months ago, to get her years peers. And at the time, she was to two, almost three, and he said, I don't care, go for it, we'll take you. And so I said, Hey, pump the brakes. Let me talk to her mom. And he was like, so like, you heard what I said, that is like a very sacred mother daughter thing, in my opinion. So I'm going to ask her mom, I send her mom a text message, her mom texts me back. Thank you so much for asking, I really want to wait till she's seven. And I want to take her to do it. Okay, no problem. Again, I know where I stand. And I know what my standards are and boundaries. And for me, just understanding the respect, I also noticed a calendar is really good for the kids because of their age, my boyfriend and I started dating when his daughter was almost two and his son was like about four. And so I've been in the kid's life, for a decent amount of time, I noticed that his son was really struggling with the custody in the back and forth. And so I created a calendar to provide clarity and safety for his. Now this calendar is on our fridge. So there's days where it D for Daddy M for mommy, he's only in kindergarten right now. But he does know his letters enough to understand D daddy am mom. So these are daddy days. And these are mommy days. And again, I think because I'm so accepting of I'm supporting my boyfriend as he parents. Yeah, it's easy. No, I'm very fortunate that he's, he's very traditional. He's very traditional, where he likes to go into work, he likes to come home to dinner food on the table. And then I'm in charge of like bath and bedtime. I'm also in charge of this, but we had to learn our dynamic. And for me, because I entered his daughter's life, when she was so young. It's been a really easy connection with his daughter, not a lot of work where his son, it's been a lot more difficult because he's very attached to his mom. And so I've had to actually observe him and see what makes him feel safe. What makes him feel supported and what makes him feel scared. And I'm a black woman, his kids are blond haired and blue. They're great. But this is also their first time interacting with a black woman in such an intimate capacity as well, because we all live together. You know? So I was navigating so many dynamics over the last year as I would say, you're almost two years. Probably a year and a half. Yeah, like it's been very difficult, but my personal awareness of what's best for the kids. And like being okay, when they're like we just want mommy. That's cool. You guys have Mommy. Mommy days. Do you guys want daddy right now? Okay, go Give Daddy a hug. And Lincoln also teaching my boyfriend like, Hey, you don't know this because you're not as intuitive. But what they need right now? Is it you being distant on your phone, what they need is a hug and a snuggle. And like, I have a very good relationship with my boyfriend. So I can like call them out where I'm like your kids need you get off your phone. I don't. Again, I'm a boundaries person. I'm also very straightforward and sassy. So it's been a joy, man. It's not always a joy. But it's been a joy to learn the dynamic. I'm not coming in where the tone is set. I think it'd be different. The kids were older, but because they were so young. It's just such a blessing.

49:51

Oh my gosh, so many good takeaways. And one of the themes that I hear from our conversation before into all of this is really navigating like your own well well being in your nervous system, right? Because as you're navigating all these different things, if your nervous system wasn't able to keep up with these little kid responses and transitions and changes, and all the things that you're trying to navigate, it's gonna be so much harder. And so really working on that, whether you're in that situation currently, and you're like, Yes, I need to feel better in this. Or you're like, Okay, I know life is gonna throw me something, how do I set myself up for success, so that I can be prepared for that? I think that is so good. So you gave us so many tangible takeaways, I want to thank you so much, Barry, this has been so great. I definitely hope everyone had their notebooks out. But if someone's getting off of this call, and they're like, Wow, that was so many good takeaways. And you were to tell them to just take one action today, one thing that they could do today, regardless of what cycle they're in, or what phase of their cycle they're in, what is the one thing you would have them do? Breathe,

50:52

breathe. I know, that seems so cliche. And so that wasn't actionable enough. I promise, if you could take 60 seconds right now to just connect back into your body, get out of your head off of your devices, and just simply breathe. That is just going to make you feel about that's, that's it just taking the time to breathe. And honestly, I don't have anything else to say aside from that, because it's it really does come back to the nervous system regulation. So much of your Hormonal Health is linked to your nervous system. If you can control that, which breath does do? Your good. So good.

51:39

Before you leave us today, where can everyone find you? And what is a goal that you're currently working on? Or you're really excited about in this season of

51:47

life? Gosh, okay, so you can find me over on Instagram and Tiktok at baryon Albury, I'm sure will be linked somewhere. Don't worry too much. And then you can also find me on YouTube. My podcast is called happily hormonal en Oh, cool. Gosh, I think my biggest goal right now is expanding what it is I do how it is I do it. I've been the cycle singing princess for so long. But I'm actually evolving as a human. I'm almost 30 Breton's. So I'm in my bombshell era. And the main goal is to become known as like the person who explains the science of femininity, and really helping you understand not only your body but your mind. Yeah, that's

52:33

the goal. So God thank you so much for your time very you your story and what you have to offer this world builds me up. I want to meet you join me on Instagram at this is Kelsey Smith. And let's create a ripple effect for mamas with goals together is better

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