Self-doubt can often hinder our progress and prevent us from achieving our goals, especially as we approach the end of the year and begin to plan for the future.

Sara discusses the nature of self-doubt, how it manifests in our lives, and offers strategies for recognizing and overcoming it.

By acknowledging self-doubt as a common human experience, we can shift our mindset from fear of failure to embracing growth and opportunity.

The episode emphasises the importance of reframing negative thoughts, taking small actions, and surrounding ourselves with supportive individuals to combat self-doubt and actually use it's presence to our advantage!

Join Sara as she provides practical tools to transform self-doubt into a catalyst for personal growth and empowerment.

Takeaways:

• Self-doubt often manifests itself uniquely for each individual, making it essential to recognise and address it.
• Recognising self-doubt is the first step towards overcoming it and achieving your goals.
• By reframing negative thoughts and focusing on potential success, you can effectively combat self-doubt.
• Surrounding yourself with supportive people can provide the encouragement needed to beat self-doubt.
• Taking action, even in small steps, can help build momentum and reduce feelings of self-doubt.
• Practicing self-compassion allows individuals to acknowledge their self-doubt without letting it define them.

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Christmas is upon us.

2024 is coming to a close.

It's a very exciting time and it's a very positive time.

But before we do that, I want to make sure we've got an episode all about self doubt.

Because it's at these times when we start to stretch ourselves, when we go for the goals that we want to do, when we start to make those plans, that self doubt starts to creep in.

It is sneaky and it shows up in all sorts of different ways.

So in this episode we're going to look at what it is, how to recognize it, what to do about it, how to overcome it, and how you can use self doubt to your advantage.

Welcome to Start over and Rise.

I'm Sara Burton, your host and this is the podcast for you.

If you are ready for fresh starts to reclaim your power and create the life that you truly desire.

Whether you're navigating a major life change, recovering from a setback, or simply just feeling a bit stuck, or that something is missing, this is your space for inspiration, practical tools and empowering conversation.

Each week we'll dive into topics that help you step into the person you're meant to be so that you can rise to your new desired heights.

Because here's the truth.

It's never too late to make a change.

And it's never too early to start over with your thinking, with your approach, with your attitude so that you can be, do and have all you want in your life.

So let's get started.

Hey gorgeous.

Thanks for joining me again.

I cannot.

It seems to have flashed by this year.

It really has.

But when I start to think about it, it's because so much has happened.

So I'm very grateful for that self doubt.

I really wanted to make sure that I did this episode before next week's episode because the more we are conscious about our own self doubt and for each and every one of us, it will manifest itself in different ways.

It will crop up in ways that are only personal to you.

It will feel only personal to you.

So everything that I'm talking about today, I want you to see how it is for you, start to recognize it.

Now, you might instantly know when self doubt comes up and you might not.

So if I can plant the seed that, you know, no, self doubt can be so destructive.

It can really hold you back.

And it has many partners, it has many partners of perfectionism and self sabotage and all of those.

So I want you to be starting to become the master of your self doubt, of your emotions before you start to make your plans for next year.

Because it will just equip you to be so much more effective in squashing down the things that do not serve you so that you can instill new habits and rituals and routines and really think big, really think about what it is so that you want so you can be intentional in everything that you do.

It's just the recipe for happiness, fulfillment and success.

It's just wonderful.

Okay, so what is self doubt?

Self doubt at its core is the voice inside your head that questions your abilities, your decisions, even your self worth.

And it often shows up in things like you thinking, I'm not good enough.

What if I fail, I don't deserve this opportunity or I'm never going to hit this, this particular target.

And the thing about these things are, even when we set great intentions, the more we push ourselves out of our comfort zone, the more self doubt starts to come in.

You know, you will understand that self doubt can be triggered by external factors and situations.

So, such as doing something that is going to have you stepping out of your comfort zone in some way.

So it might be if you want to, if you have your own business, you want to be bringing in more income.

It might be if you're thinking about your fitness, that you want to sign up to do a marathon.

Whatever it is, it tends to come up when we start to push our comfort zones.

Now I'm also going to add in here very quickly that yes, self sabotage can start to happen and all of those other things as well.

And that's where the other factors come into play.

These are the ingrained traits, things like perfection or the fear of being judged.

So it's perfectly natural to feel this way.

And I want to normalize that, because it can really be one of those things that if we don't start to become self aware and we start recognizing when that self doubt is there, then we can't address it.

If we don't think there's anything that needs to change, we don't change.

And self doubt can be a major barrier for your progress, your sense of fulfillment, and of course, your happiness and successes.

So take a moment, have a little think.

Think about a recent moment when you felt uncertain about yourself.

Take out a little time to think about it and maybe ask some of these questions.

What triggered it?

What made that self doubt creep into play?

Those thoughts that started to come into your head, how did it feel in your body?

Did you hesitate or hold back or once you realized it was there, what decision, what action did you make once you felt that self doubt there?

And here's the big one to ask yourself, how did that decision or action that you took once you felt that self doubt, how does that compare to the original action you had planned?

Now there are so many things that can come up here, so it's personal to you.

Have a think about that.

Okay, so let's elaborate on that a little bit more.

How do you actually recognize self doubt in real time, right when it's actually happening in the moment?

So it can be sneaky.

Self doubt often disguises itself as you saying things like, no, I'm going to play it safe or I'm being realistic, I'm not being negative, I'm being realistic.

Come on, be honest.

How many times have you found yourself saying that that is a form of self doubt?

So here are some signs to watch out for.

Now, before I go into these, I just want to say, you know me of old, if you've been listening to this podcast, you will know everything that I've put in here is not just, you know, from the research that I do, the work that I do, clients that this has happened with and we've overcome it.

So I do include myself in all of these things.

And so you might hear a few examples.

So things to watch out for.

First of all, I think this is the biggest one and massive for me personally overthinking.

Do you keep replaying the same decision in your mind and analysing every possible outcome so you might set yourself a goal and then you start to think, okay, so what are all the things that can go wrong?

What are all the things that can go wrong that can stop you from actually achieving that goal?

And the secret here, we'll go into This a little bit later but the secret here is to recognize which ones are real potential problems and which ones are manufactured by your own personal self doubt.

So that's the first sign, overthinking things.

Number two, procrastination, a favourite for many, right?

So are you putting off a task or an opportunity because perhaps you're afraid you're not ready?

Maybe that doubt of am I actually capable of seeing this through?

Can I actually do this?

So procrastination, the minute you start to feel that, question it.

Why are you procrastinating?

What is the belief behind it?

For example the third one, again massive for so many people comparison.

Are you scrolling through social media and feeling less than when you see other people's achievements?

So if you're like me and you've got your own business, that is I work with coaches and people in business and that comparison itis is just shocking.

Now why would, why do you feel the need to compare yourself to anyone else when you stay in your own lane?

When you decide that actually this is what I'm going to do and this is how I'm going to do it, you are helping to eliminate that self doubt.

What happens is when self doubt comes in it can be triggered by looking at what everybody else is doing.

You don't need to be doing that, you know what you're doing.

Start to look at when you are comparing yourself in whatever area of your life, okay it's indicating that you have a level of self doubt and as I said we've got to recognize when it's happening.

Physical reactions.

Now this is one of my favorite because so many people ignore these.

Sometimes self doubt manifests itself physically.

So it might be your chest feels tight, you have racing thoughts, it might be you break out into a sweat or even the other thing, you might suddenly feel really really tired.

So like oh, I couldn't possibly do whatever it is you want to do, I feel too tired.

Your body is basically telling you that something's not right, okay?

And it can be self doubt.

So when you notice these signs, when you start to consciously look out for them, I want you to pause and I want you to acknowledge them, maybe even personify this emotion of self doubt.

Now what I mean by that is you can literally speak to it when you recognise that it's happening, maybe have that thought in your head of ah, hello self doubt, here you are again.

Because it just makes it a little more light hearted for me.

It massively helps.

It's almost like if I can see it as a separate Character, this emotion, almost like as a separate character to the core essence of who I am.

It helps me recognize, yeah, here it is.

And awareness as we know is the very first step towards change.

You cannot change a thing if you don't think anything needs to be changed.

So start to recognize how it shows up for you, what it feels like when it tends to show up and start to get familiar with that.

Now you might be having a few thoughts, you might be cooking right now, you might be out on a run.

But if you can think of an example of.

Ah yes, actually when self doubt creeps in for me it feels like this or it tends to happen when I'm doing X, Y and Z, start to make a note of it.

So let's move on to how we actually overcome this so we know what it is we're recognizing when it's happening to us.

What do we actually do about it?

This is where we are going to start shifting your thinking and creating a brand new approach to how you deal with it next.

Because here's the thing, self doubt in itself isn't actually a problem.

But when we attach an actual meaning behind it and put some emotion and feeling behind that, that shows and demonstrates that we actually believe that the self doubt is a truth.

That is when we start to get into trouble.

Okay, so the first thing we've got to do is we've got to reframe your thoughts.

Thoughts are just thoughts, they aren't necessarily truths.

So instead of what if I fail?

If you hear yourself saying something like that, put the opposite in what if you succeed?

What if I succeed?

So for example, if you're hesitating to apply for a new job or growing your business, or you want to become fitter, rather than what if I fail, let's look at what if you don't.

So if you're going for a new job, imagine what your life would look like if you got that job.

Picture yourself thriving in the role, contributing value, growing professionally becoming the person that you want to be in that particular job role.

Now the reassuring thing about having negative thoughts around something you want to achieve.

Where the self doubt comes in is if your brain can think that way and it hasn't happened, it can also think in the opposite way because it still hasn't happened.

You get to choose.

So you get to decide what that future looks like.

You're actually using the same amount of energy to think negatively as you are positively, but one gives you a much better chance of it actually happening.

Guess which one that is when you Go to the gym, for example, and then you really can't be bothered.

You know, you just think, no, I just don't want to go.

Because if I go today, and here's one of my excuses, see if this is a familiar one for you.

I sometimes tell myself there's no point, there's no point in me going when I feel that I'm not going to give it my best.

However, there is no thing, there is no such thing as a bad workout.

Even if you go and even if you only give it half effort, it is still better than not going at all.

And that's exactly the type of thing that I'm talking about that changes your approach.

We all have self doubt.

We all tell ourselves we're too tired or it's not going to be worth it.

But my goodness, most of the time when you actually go there, by the time you've got there and you've reframed your thoughts about why you're doing all of this, that self doubt goes because you've just proven to yourself that you can carry it through.

So the next thing to do is when we're reframing our thoughts, we've got to challenge those negative beliefs and we've got to challenge them by finding evidence.

So for example, if you think I'm not good at this, reflect on the times when you have been good at things, when you have been able to succeed in maybe similar situations.

So if you're trying a new hobby and you've never done it before, you don't necessarily have to think, well, whenever I succeeded in doing this, but think of a different hobby that you had or a different sport that you did or something where it was brand new to you and you succeeded.

Draw upon that evidence.

So number one is definitely reframe your thoughts.

And again, this is one of those things that is really personal to you.

Okay?

So make sure you're picking the thoughts that you know are truths.

Number two, take action.

Even if it's a small one.

I cannot tell you how powerful this is.

If something feels really enormous and you feel that your self doubt is huge to the point where maybe you've gone into freeze over it, just take action.

Even in a small way.

Self doubt thrives on inaction.

So prove to yourself that you're capable by taking just one small step forward.

Momentum builds confidence.

So for example, if you're hesitant to start a new project, just commit to spending 10 minutes on the initial research or 10 minutes on brainstorming it, or 10 minutes just looking at some Level of preparation.

Preparation, because that small action can break the cycle of doubt and it can help you gain that traction so that that momentum can start to build.

Okay, so let's move on to number three, focus on growth, not perfection, growth.

And what I mean by this is when you start to shift your mindset from it's got to be perfect.

I need to get this 100% right.

Two, I'm learning and improving.

Two, being okay with making mistakes.

Because mistakes aren't failures, they're lessons or they're successes.

When we start to tell ourselves that we have to be perfect, you're just putting in unrealistic things.

Little kids, when they first start to walk, don't beat themselves up.

Every time they fall down, they just get up and they learn and they practice and they keep doing it.

Winners were always beginners.

And it's so true.

And I think there's such pressure for us to be immediately brilliant at everything that we do that when the self doubt comes in, sometimes we think, because I'm not going to be perfect at it straight away, I'm not even going to attempt it.

And it may not be a thought that is as conscious as that, but it's probably there in some area of your life.

So when you are learning something brand new or you are pushing into a new level, give yourself a little bit of compassion.

You know, focus on the journey as this is part of it.

You start off as a beginner and it's only by doing all of the things that you need to do on a regular basis.

Practice it, get better at it, grow with it, that you will nail it.

So when self doubt starts to come in, go.

Yep.

Okay, here it is.

Thank it for showing up and tell it that you gotta get started to get better at it.

Number four, always important, surround yourself with supportive people.

When you have self doubt, share your doubts with trusted friends, with mentors, or dare I say a coach.

Because these are great ways to actually stop it becoming really, really enormous and destructive.

So often when you've spoken to someone about it, they'll remind you of your strengths.

They will help you see past these self imposed limitations that we end up putting on ourselves as a result of allowing self doubt to creep in.

So for example, if you're struggling with imposter syndrome at work, talk to a colleague or a mentor who can provide an objective perspective on your contributions and skills.

Mentors, coaches, they will question you around it.

Where is this self doubt coming from?

What does it look like?

What are the outcomes that you're fearful of all of those kind of questions.

So if you've got trusted resources in terms of friends, mentors or a coach, then use them.

Nip it in the bud.

Number five is practice self compassion.

Treat yourself as you would your friend.

If they were coming to you and talking about their self doubt, you would be speaking kindly and supportively with them.

You would be celebrating their wins along the way and you'd be reminding them that it's okay to have self doubt.

Self doubt doesn't define you, it's what you do as a result of it.

So speak to yourself in the same way.

If you have made a mistake, instead of beating yourself up about it and berating yourself, acknowledge that this was just a learning experience and be proud for trying in the first place.

And just take it on board that you can only get better from here.

And if you made another mistake, you found another way that isn't going to get you where you want to go.

So you can cut it off and you can pivot and you can move forward.

All right, here's a quick exercise for you.

Grab a piece of paper or your journal and write down one area where self doubt is holding you back.

From what you've heard so far in this episode, there must be something.

I'm pretty sure there'll be something that you've gone yet.

You know what?

I am really delaying on that.

I'm really holding myself back from getting that started or finishing it off.

And then think about it and write three reasons why you can succeed in that area.

It's a really simple practice, but it can help you start to rewire your brain.

Get your mindset right now.

The final area that I want to talk about is my favourite.

I often am accused of being irritatingly Disney like and positive and that I can always find the positives in the negative.

So this will be no surprise to you when I say when you start to feel self doubt.

I'm going to show you how you can use that self doubt to your advantage.

Da da.

Self doubt isn't the problem.

I said this earlier.

We all experience it.

The real issue arises when we assign meaning to that emotion of self doubt.

When we start to believe it, we take it as a truth and we act as though it's that's it written in stone that self doubt actually is true.

So for example, if you're thinking I'm not good enough, this might lead you to take actions that keep you small.

You might try and fool yourself that you are actually going for that big goal that you want to do you are making the change that you want to make but have a look at what you're actually doing about it.

Have a look at when the self doubt creeps in, are you actually taking the right actions or are you playing it safe?

Are you being realistic?

Question it.

Because if you know, rather than taking those bold moves, those bold actions that you need to that are going to lead you to bigger successes or you know, oh yeah, I've got to take slightly bigger risk on this and go for it.

But you allow the self doubt to go, yeah, but I won't do that today, I'll really go for it next week.

In the meantime, what I'm going to do is this.

If you recognize that actually it's a bit of a cop out, be honest with yourself, be honest with yourself because here's the good news my friends, you can use self doubt to your advantage because when you feel self doubt creeping in, use it, use it as a sign that you are actually trying to progress in some way.

You're trying to do something different.

And it's coming up as a, like whoa there, we need to keep ourselves safe.

Safe.

It's trying to protect you, so what is it trying to protect you from?

Where is this doubt coming from?

When does it tend to appear?

What might this self doubt be trying to tell you about your goals, your approach, the negativity, those self doubt thoughts that are, you can't do it, you don't deserve to have this.

I'm never going to hit that target, I'm never going to reach that goal.

Things like this don't happen for people like me.

All of those types of things, what are they protecting you from?

What is the fear?

What is the fear that shows up as self doubt?

And a very big real fear that often can come up for people is actually the fear of success.

What happens if you do grow your business?

Who will you lose?

What will people say about you?

All those kind of things and facing them and actually dealing with them and actually deciding if you want to live by those thoughts, if you want to act by those thoughts is a very, very powerful thing.

It's a fascinating thing to dive into.

And don't forget that your inaction is also a decision.

It's a choice.

Your inaction is a choice whether you like it or not.

So it's well worth looking into these things, spend just a little bit of time on it, see what's really going on for you.

Because by questioning that doubt, you're not letting it drive your actions or your dis or your decisions.

Instead, you're using it as a tool for self awareness and growth.

So when you hear self doubt you're not thinking to yourself, yeah, it's right.

So I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to go to the gym, I'm not going to put that social media post out about my business, I'm not going to email my database, I'm not going to have that difficult conversation with my partner.

Yeah.

Rather than go down that route, recognize the self doubt and say, yay, this is a moment for self awareness.

This is a moment that I can take some steps towards my personal growth so that I can take those brave bold moves because I know the rewards for what I want are on the other side of it.

Doubt then becomes the catalyst for improvement, not the barrier.

You turn it around and it becomes the thing that makes you motivated, that drives you in the right direction.

So it's important to remember that self doubt won't disappear.

It's not a, you know, you just turn it around on one occasion.

It takes practice.

It's like any other feeling or emotion.

It takes practice to work with it effectively.

It takes practice to recognise and to keep questioning and to turn those old habits of downward spiralling with self doubt into upward spiralling from self doubt.

So view it as an invitation to be curious, to experiment with your approach, to try different things.

So the next time self doubt arises, don't push it away, don't try and ignore it, see it, welcome it and do something with it, do something positive with it.

So starting over with your thinking and approach to self doubt, it's not a one and done process, it's a journey.

But every time you choose, I'm going to repeat that.

Every time you choose to face your doubts, to recognize them and take action anyway, you're building your resistance, you're building on your confidence and you're adding to that vault experience, giving yourself more evidence of how you can recognize and then overcome any self doubt.

Because remember, self doubt doesn't mean you're incapable, it's not necessarily a truth, it means you're human and the key is not to let it stop you.

So there we go, lots there.

I hope you've enjoyed this episode.

Thank you for joining me today and let me know how you got on.

There's a couple of little exercises in there.

What came up for you, I would love to hear from you.

You can find the links for me on social media, in the show notes or just search for start over with Sara on any of the platforms and you will find me.

So have a wonderful week.

Thank you for joining me.

Don't forget to subscribe share this episode if you know somebody who would benefit from it.

And I'll see you next week.

You take care.

Bye.