[00:00:26] Trish Ware RN: For mamas looking for powerful education and support, I've had the amazing privilege of delivering mini babies in my 15 plus year career as a labor and delivery nurse, and as a mama of seven. I'm here to help you take the guesswork out of childbirth so you can make the choices that are right for you and your baby and write the birth story of your dreams. 


[00:01:12] Trish Ware RN: show notes. 


[00:01:18] Trish Ware RN: everyone. I'm so excited. Today we have another powerful birth story and I have one of my followers from Instagram. Her name is Ronnie, and she's gonna tell us all about her birth. So welcome 


[00:01:35] Trish Ware RN: so excited. I know that this is probably kind new for you to be on here, so we're gonna just walk through some different things about your birth and just share with everyone. 


[00:01:48] Ronnie: about today? This is my second baby. 


[00:01:55] Ronnie: Yeah, my first birth was a C-section back in April of 2020. It [00:02:00] was right at the beginning of the pandemic. There was just a lot of, there was a lot 


[00:02:08] Trish Ware RN: That's when we launched our first course, and it was literally when everything shut 


[00:02:27] Ronnie: I wasn't very dilated and they admitted me and they were like, it's okay. We'll get you started on Pitocin. Let's get your epidural. And I was just like, okay. Like you guys are the medical professionals. I was so wrong. And yeah, it was just a really. Rough labor. It was on my back the whole time. Yeah. Baby was OP and the nurses and I kept trying to tell the resident, He's op, he's facing up. 


[00:03:07] Ronnie: And I pushed for four and a half hours. And this nurse kept saying to me like, oh, you're almost there. You're almost there. And after four and a half hours of that, like any trust I had and this woman was gone, I was like, I'm not almost there, or I wouldn't still be pushing. Eventually they were like, well, Maybe we should call like the doctor on call and not just the resident. 


[00:03:48] Ronnie: The woman next door just had her baby. She gave good pushe. And yeah, she's like telling the nurses like, she did a really good job. How does that mean for you? I was, I was like, are you [00:04:00] insinuating I'm not? I don't know. Like I'm a first time mom, just help me out. Yeah. Doctor showed up and there like there was no change. 


[00:04:28] Ronnie: I very traumatized and my husband. He explains it probably better than I even could. He was like, it was like, I knew this like vibrant, happy woman for our entire relationship, for high school sweethearts. We've been together for a long time. Wow. And yeah, and he was like, and it was just like a ghost of her was left. 


[00:05:03] Ronnie: Like I would go out in public and be absolutely fine and I would come home and just cry and cry like I felt so broken as a woman and like I had no trust in medicine. After that, I went back for my six week appointment and my doctor was, how was it? How was the birth? Cuz he wasn't there. And I was like, it wasn't great. 


[00:05:34] Trish Ware RN: I'm so shocked right now. 


[00:05:49] Ronnie: Everything is fine. So gosh. I think when my son was 10 ish months, we were like, let's try for another baby. I was ready for another little one, so and so was my husband. [00:06:00] So we tried and got pregnant pretty quickly in March of 2021. And this time like I wanted redemption. I was like, this is gonna be different 


[00:06:10] Trish Ware RN: you already thinking V 


[00:06:33] Ronnie: I am finding someone who's gonna support me. So I showed up and I, my guard was up. And I, I told him everything. I was super transparent about my, my C-section and the reasons I had one and all of that. And he just like listened and he said, how do you feel about Vback before I could even bring it up. Oh, that's awesome. 


[00:07:14] Ronnie: I'm here for you. These nurses are here for you. We're here for you. Had a pretty, like physically a pretty healthy pregnancy. Again, like my first pregnancy was emotionally. . There was a lot going on in my life. My husband got a new job and had to take a long trip out of the country. My, so I was chasing a toddler and pregnant. 


[00:07:59] Ronnie: [00:08:00] Right around, I would say 37 weeks like pregnancy just flew by and I all that trauma like resurfaced, . I was like, oh my gosh, like I am weeks away from doing this again. And all of it just came flooding back and I was like, I need to find someone to help me. So I was like Googling like crazy. I'm like V A C V, back support, birth trauma, like help and. 


[00:08:50] Trish Ware RN: And I wanna interject really quick for those of you guys who are listening, I have had people join the courses the night before their induction. We do what we call [00:09:00] a fearless birth experience every couple months where we do five days of live workshops and we invite people into our community so they see what we do inside of our MAMA membership and inside the birth courses. 


[00:09:33] Trish Ware RN: But what I love about, cuz we, we now have the pregnancy and postpartum membership, which is just a very low cost membership. And we meet, so we meet on Mondays for the Vback moms. We do a Zoom happy hour Wednesdays for all other moms, and then Thursdays for our postpartum moms and for mamas like you that. 


[00:10:15] Trish Ware RN: And what's best for Sally may not be best for Ronnie. So, but we meet with our postpartum moms every Thursday and oh my gosh, it's so powerful. We have pro, we all end up crying to be honest. But you know how that is, it's lonely. Like the, that postpartum can be very isolating and very lonely. So anyway, I was just interjecting because in case I have a mom out there who's, oh my gosh, I'm 38 weeks, what should I do? 


[00:11:01] Trish Ware RN: But that being said, we also provide a lot of free 


[00:11:25] Ronnie: If she was here with me, she would be telling me, yes, you can do this. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, a few days after that I lost a little bit of my mucus plug and kind of continued to, and I knew like that didn't mean labor was imminent necessarily, but I figured I was probably dilating a little bit. And so when I was 38 weeks and six days, I woke up. 


[00:12:09] Trish Ware RN: sister. 


[00:12:11] Ronnie: Only my husband and my sister-in-law noticed. I was like sitting there eating pie, eating Thanksgiving dinner and I was like, I'm not missing this. Not before I have a baby. I am eating Thanksgiving. And she saw me like gripping the chair one at one point. And she was like, are you contracting? 


[00:12:40] Trish Ware RN: distraction 


[00:12:53] Ronnie: Like, why haven't you called me? You could go get some rest or something. And I was like, like, I'll have another Thanksgiving dinner here. [00:13:00] So we did, but I was getting tired by then, so I was like, we'll just, we'll go home a little early. We laid our toddler down and my husband and I watched a movie and just counted contractions. 


[00:13:30] Ronnie: I, I went and curled my hair at midnight cause I'm like, we're probably going to the hospital at some point here. Oh, I'm, oh lord, I'm gonna try to look cute. So curled my hair, and I did a miles circuit in the middle of the night, and eventually I fell asleep for about three hours. So when I woke up I was like, oh, this must not be labor. 


[00:14:07] Ronnie: And I'm like, just stay on the phone with me, like I'm still talking. I'm still fine. My last labor was very slow. Okay, stop. 


[00:14:18] Ronnie: babies are typically faster. I remembered you saying that . Okay. 


[00:14:26] Ronnie: oh no, I'm definitely spoiler. 


[00:14:30] Trish Ware RN: Okay, so he goes on an hour, one way, 


[00:14:48] Ronnie: So he came home, my mom came over and then we loaded up and we had an hour drive to the hospital. So we went and we got to the hospital. Definitely still [00:15:00] contracting and things were getting a little more painful. So we just, we sat together and set a few prayers together and then went in, got admitted or not, I guess You went to triage? 


[00:15:24] Trish Ware RN: of course. Yeah. The studies show that using gravity and movement is more powerful than Pitocin. 


[00:15:50] Ronnie: They were like, if you're deciding to stay, let's give you antibiotics. And I was like, alright, let's stay. We'll stay. And I was very hesitant. I'm not so sure about this. [00:16:00] The nurse that was with me at the time, she's a little older school, and she just, she kept like laying me on my back and I was like, I'm not contracting as well on my back. 


[00:16:24] Trish Ware RN: but it's easier for me if I can trace the baby and you don't move. 


[00:16:34] Trish Ware RN: Oh, that aggravates me. And Oh yeah. Let's just clarify. Mm-hmm. , the baby was having no issues, right? Nothing. Yes. And you were a low risk pregnancy. Had a V A C, his, uh, cesarean history. 


[00:17:13] Trish Ware RN: Ronnie wanted to move when she was in pain. The nurse is making her stay in an immobile position, which has been proven to increase your risk of cesarean and all of their interventions. It also has been proven to increase the risk of fetal deceleration and intolerance of labor, all the things that land you in the or. 


[00:18:00] Trish Ware RN: If you stubbed your toe, you wouldn't just lay down flat on the ground, you'd be jumping around, shaking your foot, yelling and using rhythm and movement to help you cope with the pain. That is what we all do in all instances of pain. We don't ever, unless it's your back. If you've hurt your back, you may not be able to move. 


[00:18:33] Ronnie: Yeah. So I only tolerated it for so long, , and then I heard your voice, like I literally heard your voice in my. I just remembered you saying you can fire anybody you want to. 


[00:19:04] Ronnie: We have a shift change. And I was like, hallelu. Yeah. Like this is gonna be better. So she left and I heard that door latch and I looked at the two new nurses. One was like a student who had just graduated and the other was a nurse overseeing her. And I was like, I have to get outta this bed. Like I cannot be. 


[00:19:25] Trish Ware RN: you like whatcha are doing in back? They even had a wireless monitor and she didn't use it. That's so lazy. I know. Shame on you. Shame 


[00:19:42] Ronnie: I've never met better medical professionals in my life. Shout out to those nurses. Yes, Rachel and Stephanie . Shout out to Rachel and Stephanie. Yes. So they got me hooked up to the portable monitor and they brought in a birth ball and they even brought in like a comfy chair for me to sit in if I wanted to, [00:20:00] and brought in all this stuff. 


[00:20:15] Ronnie: Yeah. Yes. . Yeah. I was like, this is it. This is what it should be. So we did that for a little while and then, um, They were like, you know what, let's just dim the lights and give you a few minutes to labor peacefully by yourself. And things were getting like pretty intense. And I don't know how to explain it besides, I was just in the fog. 


[00:20:54] Trish Ware RN: shocked. 


[00:20:57] Ronnie: I was, you love it. Shocked. But it was just my [00:21:00] husband and my baby and I just like laboring all this together and eventually, it was probably like an hour or two after that I was like, Okay. The contractions were right on top of each other, and I knew what transition was like. 


[00:21:23] Trish Ware RN: Isn't it funny how it sneaks up on you and you're like, what is this? What is this? And then all of a sudden you're like, oh, I know what this 


[00:21:31] Ronnie: Yeah, it's fun. Like the last thing, check me. I was at a four, so I was like pushing and having a baby is so far off right now. I've got way more time and I'm not sure I can handle this. So I told my husband like, call in for an epidural. Even though like I was a little disappointed because I wanted to go natural and I was like, I'm just gonna go use the bathroom. 


[00:22:03] Trish Ware RN: and Ra. Rachel did not leave 


[00:22:08] Ronnie: And so my husband called, I went in the bathroom and, and I was alternating between like sitting on the toilet and leaning over the sink vanity and just rocking and just trying to relax. Yeah. And I was like, oh my gosh, like this epidural cannot come soon enough. I can't even think right now. So I did that probably for six or seven contractions and then I sat down and I felt this like really odd thing, sat 


[00:22:34] Trish Ware RN: I did. Yeah. So funny thing for those of you guys listening, I teach my girls to do at least three to five contractions per O hour on the toilet because your brain from childhood is trained to relax your pelvic floor on the toilet. So perfect job. Yeah. 


[00:22:57] Ronnie: Yeah. Yes. Yeah. So I [00:23:00] was like, it's probably good that I'm on here before I get the epidural or whatever was 


[00:23:05] Ronnie: my epidural . Yeah. And, and then I just felt that like odd, like lurching sensation and I was like, am I gonna throw up? So I grabbed the trashcan and fold it over. and it happened again. 


[00:23:38] Ronnie: And he was like, I did. They're coming. They can't hurry the anesthesiologist along too much. And I was like, no. Like you have to get them now. And he was like, I called. He's like, I did, I promise. I called. Didn't you hear me? And I was like, now, and I grabbed the counter and like the bar by the toilet and he was like, okay, all right, I'm going now. 


[00:24:16] Trish Ware RN: is she the trainer or is she the trainer? 


[00:24:21] Ronnie: Trainer. Yeah. So she came in and she said, I'm just gonna look real quick if that's ok. And she lifted my gown and she. Okay. Hey Rachel, like why don't you. Go get a doctor real quick. You know, she's trying to be calm. Yeah. And Rachel, do you want me to call Dr. Blake? Because that was the doctor on call and she said, Nope, scream into the hallway for a doctor please. 


[00:25:05] Ronnie: Like I'm, I 


[00:25:09] Ronnie: am. I don't really, I don't know how I did it. I don't either. I was like, yeah, I, but after that, she must have been, at least her head must have been out decently because I was like, I can't move from here. So she picked me. This little nurse, she just picked me up over her shoulder and my husband's, I can help. 


[00:25:30] Trish Ware RN: I just am blown away. Like, why didn't she just let you deliver standing there? I dunno. I don't even, I would seriously have done that before I picked up a pregnant woman with a baby sticking out of her vagina. I 


[00:25:44] Ronnie: I dunno. 


[00:25:53] Ronnie: don't know. Yeah, I think she must have been. Cause like we talked about it later and she's like, I've never done that my whole career. I dunno, 


[00:26:01] Trish Ware RN: Yeah, yeah. I would've gotten a blue pad, put it under you and waited for the doctor . 


[00:26:07] Trish Ware RN: She probably, she's probably having p balloons with her back at this point. Oh, 


[00:26:25] Ronnie: I wish I could have voiced, no, I don't wanna be on my back. Cuz they wouldn't, I don't think they would've made me, they were just so like good and supportive. Yeah. But I couldn't, I couldn't even talk to say, oh, I wanna, and 


[00:26:56] Trish Ware RN: But every single one of them, I fell back onto my back in a wonky [00:27:00] position like it was the last thing. And that's just what I did. So you might have done that anyway. . 


[00:27:06] Trish Ware RN: I mean, cause the hardest. pushing is getting the head out. And you've apparently already accomplished that. 


[00:27:13] Ronnie: I. Yeah. . So I 


[00:27:19] Ronnie: he and he like does not do super well with like medical things, so he was like ghost white. He was like, oh gosh, is happening. Yeah. So a few other nurses ran in. I noticed that, and the doctors just, he just kind of moseyed in and he is this like big burly guy and Stephanie was like, you need to get over here. 


[00:27:48] Trish Ware RN: this is like a Saturday night life skit. I see this little nurse picking up a pregnant woman with a baby. 


[00:28:07] Ronnie: epidural. . Yeah. Yeah. I'm still like, and like still, I'm laying on the bed and I'm still like, I got hours to go. I don't know how I'm gonna do this. And, Stephanie, I was called Denial 


[00:28:40] Ronnie: Yeah. and two pushes and like she just popped right out. Nice. That was it. Yeah. And I had a second degree 


[00:28:52] Ronnie: Yeah, she did. She really did. . Yeah. But, but they took her and checked her because she had a bowel [00:29:00] movement inside of me. Yeah, because 


[00:29:03] Trish Ware RN: I'm sure I 


[00:29:21] Ronnie: Yeah, it wasn't like that. It was, you 


[00:29:44] Ronnie: No, and I felt it afterwards. It hurt, but really, I guess it's all the hormones that just rushed in. I was just like, I just had a baby and IV backed, like I did it and I was so happy. I didn't even feel 


[00:30:03] Trish Ware RN: It's okay. I'm dealing with this pain. That pain I don't know about. 


[00:30:08] Trish Ware RN: it. I love that first story. It's so amazing. I'm so proud 


[00:30:15] Trish Ware RN: I'm sure, so that was such a redemptive feeling when they laid that baby on you. 


[00:30:24] Ronnie: We did it like all of the work and like all of the suffering and the trauma, it was just gone. It was just like I did it. I was like trying not to cry, but, well, and 


[00:30:49] Trish Ware RN: Like my body's broken or there's something wrong and like maybe my body can't do it, and that is traumatizing. To have those thoughts and [00:31:00] to be like, oh, my body isn't broken. The system's broken, but my body's not broken. . 


[00:31:20] Ronnie: My husband looked at me and he was, I have my wife back. You're back. You're so happy. And he did. Yeah. I'm so healed. 


[00:32:16] Trish Ware RN: you're able to separate that and be like, okay, my body didn't fail me. And even in some cases for some of my students, there was an absolute legit reason for the cesarean, but a lot of 'em there wasn't. And so I love that part of it because. even. Even in calm labor, we have a lot of students. Like I just, right before I hopped on here, I was doing a birth plan consult with a second time mom who is processing a lot of trauma from her first birth. 


[00:33:18] Trish Ware RN: Now, nine times outta 10, that's happening when she's on her back with her feet and lithotomy because that's what the doctor wants. And I tell my girls all the time, I can't refuse for. I have to obey the doctor's orders. So if the doctor says, put her in lithotomy, when you're reg ready to push, I have to, unless you. 


[00:33:58] Ronnie: It was, yes. [00:34:00] It really was my, like when we got home and we were all settled as a family. 


[00:34:23] Ronnie: And I was like, I know that doesn't sound romantic to a lot of people, but coming from my husband, yeah. It's just like you're speaking about language. 


[00:34:43] Ronnie: yeah. It really, yeah, it was good. 


[00:35:14] Ronnie: Mm-hmm. , like in the end, I'm glad it all happened. Yeah. The way it did and I'm so glad I found you. Thank you. Oh, I love it so 


[00:35:40] Trish Ware RN: They can ever have another baby because they're processing so much. And I think it's really important part of healing when you're able to look at that circumstance of whatever it is that caused the trauma. And this is in all areas of life, not just birth. And be able to say, okay, and I just watched this [00:36:00] amazing documentary on Netflix and. 


[00:36:23] Trish Ware RN: Thank 


[00:36:31] Trish Ware RN: I hope you enjoyed this episode of the Birth Experience with Labor Nurse Mama. I just wanna remind you guys, the postpartum period is hard, but you don't have to do it alone. We'd love to invite you. Into our pregnancy and postpartum membership. 


[00:36:56] Ronnie: for now.[00:37:00]