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A deep dive into shadow work with Coach Kerri
Episode 18 • 20th May 2021 • Healing in Hindsight® • Taylor Daniele™
00:00:00 01:20:09

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Shadow work is constant! But you can get some help ????

I'm here with Coach Kerri today to chat about the importance of understanding Shadow work. We'll be walking through a couple of different ways that we can start working on our own shadows so that we can heal ourselves from within. And trust me she knows her stuff. I'm so excited for yall to learn from someone who specializes in helping people do shadow work. It's an important part of mental health and healing.

KEY POINTS

  • How can shadow work impact someone's health
  • Navigating life-changing events
  • How she got into coaching and more!

CONNECT WITH KERRI

@iamcoachkerri

www.kerrirsmith.com

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Find more at www.healinginhindsight.com

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Healing in Hindsight™ is managed by host Taylor Daniele™ and Produced by We Are 8 Studios



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Transcripts

Taylor:

What's up guys.

Taylor:

Welcome back to another episode of healing.

Taylor:

In hindsight, you're no be a source for a thriving with diabetes, and there are

Taylor:

just no words to really express how much I just appreciate this guest and all of the

Taylor:

wisdom and knowledge that came from this.

Taylor:

There are probably some moments where I just wanted to stand up and just

Taylor:

run around my house or something.

Taylor:

Cause there's just so much energy in the words that she spoke.

Taylor:

And this week's guest is none other than the awesome coach Kerry.

Taylor:

And if you're not familiar with coach Carey, she is a life coach,

Taylor:

three times certified therapist.

Taylor:

She specializes in doing shadow work and I'll let her tell her whole

Taylor:

resume, but just know that I really.

Taylor:

Enjoy the way that she shares things and teach us things.

Taylor:

Now, my connection with her is I actually am a member of the self care

Taylor:

society that is ran by data compression and she teaches a class every Tuesday.

Taylor:

And that class is surrounding doing deep shadow work.

Taylor:

And even though it's only 30 minutes, there's so much that comes from it.

Taylor:

I always leave those classes feeling so rejuvenated and having a lot

Taylor:

to think on and really reflect on.

Taylor:

So goodness gracious, Carrie, thank you so much for lending your time, your

Taylor:

energy, and just being so candid and willing to just be real about how this

Taylor:

work works and how it can be beneficial for not just diabetics, but for everybody.

Taylor:

And you guys know me when it comes to mental health stuff,

Taylor:

I'm always going to share.

Taylor:

And if you listen to my solo episode around shadow work, doing this really

Taylor:

helped me get to the place where I am with my diagnosis and being able to.

Taylor:

Make decisions moving forward that are the best for my health, because

Taylor:

I'm thinking of my mental health as well and putting me first.

Taylor:

So I won't hold this up any longer.

Taylor:

Here.

Taylor:

It is.

Taylor:

Awesome conversation with coach Carey.

Taylor:

Let's do it.

Taylor:

You're listening to healing in hindsight.

Taylor:

You're a no BS source for thriving with diabetes.

Taylor:

What's up guys.

Taylor:

I'm Taylor, Danielle, and it's my goal to help millennial diabetics like myself.

Taylor:

Live an amazing life without your diagnosis getting in the way I get it.

Taylor:

I was diagnosed back in 2015 with type two diabetes, and it was really

Taylor:

hard to find people around my age to understand how to travel, socialize,

Taylor:

or even have meaningful relationships.

Taylor:

But I feel like with a focus on mindset, perspective, and nutrition together, we

Taylor:

can take back our health and our lives consider this the red table talk, but for

Taylor:

diabetics minus the entanglements though.

Taylor:

So let's do it.

Taylor:

Hi Carrie, how are you?

Kerri:

Things are great.

Kerri:

They're absolutely great busy, but I want to stop saying booked and busy, and I want

Kerri:

everyone to stop saying booked and busy.

Kerri:

Cause I want us to be responsibly productive with time.

Kerri:

Everything else that we want to do.

Kerri:

Yeah, I like that better because while booked and busy feels very

Kerri:

like, Oh, I'm like, I'm untouchable.

Kerri:

I'm over here.

Kerri:

You're over there.

Kerri:

That's not really a good thing when it's self-care related or just feeling

Kerri:

like you're really getting things done.

Kerri:

And I'm guilty of having saying, having said that and being in that space, and now

Kerri:

I want to just be responsibly productive.

Kerri:

Like I want to have time to do all I'm setting that intention time to

Kerri:

do all the different things that I want to do, but still feeling like

Kerri:

work is getting done too, because I think everything we say, like it's

Kerri:

little spells that we're casting.

Kerri:

So we have to be really careful about the words and the verbiage that we use.

Kerri:

So that's my new thing.

Kerri:

I'm no longer booked in busy, I'm responsibly productive.

Kerri:

So that's how I'm doing.

Taylor:

I need to write that on a wall somewhere, because same, and I'm pretty

Taylor:

sure I know why this is the same.

Taylor:

So fun fact, everybody.

Taylor:

We're both Capricorns.

Taylor:

I think you're my second Capricorn shout out to glucose games,

Taylor:

Mike, that we just, we get it.

Taylor:

We like to have our hands on all the things, and we like to make

Taylor:

sure that we're affecting change.

Taylor:

And sometimes that leads to saying yes to all the things and now

Taylor:

leaving room for being able to rest and relax and do the fun stuff.

Taylor:

And so, yeah, I need to responsibly productive needs to be on

Taylor:

every wall in my house because I will find myself booked and

Kerri:

busy.

Kerri:

Okay.

Kerri:

Anyone who using that terminology to feel like, Oh man, I shouldn't, it's not

Kerri:

that it's just really think about what that says and why you're using that one.

Kerri:

It's a catchphrase.

Kerri:

And as with so many other things, we gravitate towards the things we

Kerri:

hear on social media, et cetera.

Kerri:

But when you really sit with that phrase and you really think about,

Kerri:

especially for people of color and how we think rest has to be earned.

Kerri:

And it does not have to be earned.

Kerri:

It should just be integrated into your life.

Kerri:

We need sleep people.

Kerri:

Okay.

Kerri:

We need to be able to sleep and rejuvenate.

Kerri:

So booked and busy is cool and what it means, however, you want

Kerri:

to be responsibly productive.

Kerri:

Like you want to have time for all the other things.

Kerri:

So gosh, never thought as a Capricorn, I'd be saying this, but here I am.

Taylor:

You know, there's one phrase that I'm correcting myself on.

Taylor:

And I told this actually to a friend of mine as well, who is trying,

Taylor:

he's a large streamer for gaming.

Taylor:

And so I was talking to him cause he's thinking about starting a

Taylor:

podcast and we're trading ideas and tips and stuff with each other.

Taylor:

And one phrase that I say in a joking fashion to myself and to

Taylor:

others, But I'm recognizing I need to change that is I shit.

Taylor:

Don't listen to me.

Taylor:

I'm just goofing whatever.

Taylor:

And so I'm realizing like, I really need to watch when I say that because it's

Taylor:

playing the subconscious idea that I really ain't, and that's not true at all.

Taylor:

And even when it's a funny, what am I really speaking into my

Taylor:

life when I say that, because I'm trying, or I am the shit, excuse me.

Taylor:

But when I emphasize that I'm not, or I tell someone that they're

Taylor:

not it's downplaying who they are.

Taylor:

And even if it's meant to be a joke that we often find that some jokes just really

Taylor:

aren't as funny as we think they are.

Taylor:

And so I'm trying really hard on the quickie phrases like that to reframe

Taylor:

or find ways to convey the funny part of it without it being potentially.

Taylor:

Harmful, because as I'm staring at my, be positive, you remember that I need

Taylor:

to speak the right words into my life.

Taylor:

So absolutely reframing the things that get you going.

Taylor:

Oh my God.

Taylor:

Okay.

Taylor:

I'm really excited for this conversation.

Taylor:

I'm going to try to keep it reindeer because I know you and I, we can talk and

Taylor:

talk and it would just be a mound of gold.

Taylor:

Yeah.

Taylor:

We could probably do our own season by,

Taylor:

but I obviously know you, but for those who don't are not familiar

Taylor:

with your work, I'd love it.

Taylor:

If you could just introduce yourself, share your background and your passions.

Kerri:

Sure.

Kerri:

So my name is Carrie Smith.

Kerri:

Those say, I am a three time certified master life coach.

Kerri:

I laugh when I say that, because three times a master.

Kerri:

Yeah, sort of.

Kerri:

So mental health professional, I am an emotion code practitioner certified.

Kerri:

I will get into what that means in our conversation.

Kerri:

I'm also a couples coach.

Kerri:

I'm also a law of attraction practitioner, a lot of things, but trust, you know,

Kerri:

the time to each of those things.

Kerri:

So my background is all about emotional healing and doing shadow work.

Kerri:

So with my clients, I like to say my superpower is that I help them get through

Kerri:

the ups and downs of life that has come from not resolving their emotional trauma.

Kerri:

So I've been a private practice for 12 years now.

Kerri:

Gosh, that's a long time for 12 years and I reside in Los Angeles,

Kerri:

California, where I'm based.

Kerri:

I work primarily with the LGBTQ plus.

Kerri:

That's always a tongue twister community.

Kerri:

However, I work with allies.

Kerri:

So I always say that translates to all are welcome.

Kerri:

If I can be of service, I'm absolutely going to step up and be of service.

Kerri:

My biggest goal is to normalize, asking for help, normalize, knowing that

Kerri:

there's no shame in bringing all of your burdens to the table and getting

Kerri:

someone to support you in that process.

Kerri:

So as a mental health professional, I do therapy now at this 0.5 times

Kerri:

a week with individuals, families, adolescents included, and couples.

Kerri:

And it's awesome to see Brown and black people showing up

Kerri:

in the therapy space, right?

Kerri:

Like you would think that's not such a big deal.

Kerri:

People it's a big deal and it is not lost on me.

Kerri:

And so every time I have a black or Brown person come to me for therapy, I've I am

Kerri:

acknowledging that right out the gate.

Kerri:

I'm always saying that I'm always validating that.

Kerri:

I know it probably took a lot to get here and you probably didn't want to

Kerri:

come, but the fact that you showed us a beautiful thing, so that's like,

Kerri:

I guess in a nutshell, who I am.

Kerri:

I always think about when people say their bio's and it's this long

Kerri:

drawn out, no shades, anyone have a long drawn out bias by the way.

Kerri:

But I feel I just dive into here, the things that I do, and it's really in

Kerri:

talking to me and in watching the move that you recognize how all those things

Kerri:

that I just described come together.

Kerri:

So that's it in a nutshell, I'm sure.

Kerri:

Maybe I'll think of other things that I do while we're talking,

Kerri:

because there's so many, and I'll pop them into the conversation as we

Kerri:

go, but that's the long and short.

Kerri:

Yeah.

Taylor:

Thank you for that.

Taylor:

And I have to let you know, I actually, I sent your Instagram profile to my

Taylor:

partner because we were, we're in search of our new couples therapist.

Taylor:

And I'm like, dude, you might want to check her out

Taylor:

because can we make this work?

Taylor:

Can, can we figure this out?

Taylor:

And then I saw that she had a waitlist.

Taylor:

I was like, all right, not the stars yet,

Kerri:

but yeah.

Taylor:

But I will say, so my introduction to you is actually through

Taylor:

another channel, which is through dedica brushes, self care society.

Taylor:

And I became familiar with her through the ladies from the almost

Taylor:

30 podcasts out to Kristen Lindsey.

Taylor:

And so through self care society, I've been taking Carrie's classes

Taylor:

that she does every Tuesday.

Taylor:

And what drew me to her classes is that they're based in shadow work.

Taylor:

It's one of the only ones that it's specific to that.

Taylor:

And so earlier this week, I did a solo episode on my

Taylor:

interpretation of shadow work.

Taylor:

Just the things that I do that have helped me in terms of like my

Taylor:

personal diagnosis, things like that.

Taylor:

But I really wanted to break, carry on who is an expert in

Taylor:

the field because I've literally watched her teach this every week.

Taylor:

And I'm excited to really dive deeper into how past traumas correlate with

Taylor:

the body and how it relates to even diagnosis and even getting through those

Taylor:

new traumas and working through that.

Taylor:

But before we dive deep into that, I would love to ask you.

Taylor:

What is one misconception about shadow work that you just want to be like,

Taylor:

can you please stop the badness?

Taylor:

This is not true.

Taylor:

Like, I'm shutting it down right now.

Kerri:

What's one thing.

Kerri:

Okay.

Kerri:

So there's many things by the way.

Kerri:

But like the one thing I had that I think really gets under my skin is

Kerri:

that people think, when you say shadow shadower the automatic thought is it's

Kerri:

some sort of voodoo that you're doing some sort of dark spiritual work.

Kerri:

Now that's not what we're doing.

Kerri:

Oh, by the way, I'm originally from New York.

Kerri:

So you may hear phrases dropped in here where it's like, when I'm

Kerri:

in California, it's where I lived.

Kerri:

Is that where I'm from?

Kerri:

But yeah, that's the biggest thing.

Kerri:

It's dark, spiritual work.

Kerri:

It is somehow creating spells.

Kerri:

And while I understand that because for a lot of people, it's very literal.

Kerri:

When you say a phrase or where it is very literal, how they take

Kerri:

that in anything related to shadow sounds all bad and it's not right.

Kerri:

So I know you said one thing, but can I throw in like another one

Kerri:

because yes, we kept going up extra.

Kerri:

The other thing is that when you do shadow work, it means

Kerri:

that you're completely broken.

Kerri:

That's another huge misconception.

Kerri:

And there's nothing about you.

Kerri:

That's broken when you decide to do shadow work.

Kerri:

The biggest thing that you're doing is actually acknowledging the parts

Kerri:

of yourself that you are suppressing.

Kerri:

It doesn't mean you're broken though, and you're not doing anything evil.

Kerri:

You are literally integrating parts of yourself, light and dark.

Kerri:

You're integrating those parts of yourself so that you can really

Kerri:

resolve how you view yourself and how you're showing up in the world.

Kerri:

So, yes, I know I went beyond the one misconception, but there's

Kerri:

cause there's so many, but those, I feel like are the top two for me.

Kerri:

Yeah.

Kerri:

Those are the top two.

Taylor:

No, that I wholeheartedly agree.

Taylor:

And I even mentioned it in my episode.

Taylor:

It's not dug in wrong.

Taylor:

I love charmed and all that, but you need that kind of shadow.

Kerri:

I don't even know how to do that stuff.

Kerri:

Like I'm not the ones that come know there's people out there

Kerri:

that legit, that's what they do.

Kerri:

And there's a market for that.

Kerri:

And there's something wrong with it.

Kerri:

Everyone's belief systems and what they kind of fall into and

Kerri:

gravitate toward is different.

Kerri:

And what works for one person may not work for another.

Kerri:

So no shade on anyone who is doing what they do there, but that's not

Kerri:

what this type of work is about.

Kerri:

Primarily not with me, I should say.

Kerri:

Cause I really don't know how other people do it.

Kerri:

So I can't generalize like everyone who does shadow work because I don't

Kerri:

know people do this work differently, but for me, that's not what it's about.

Kerri:

I'm very, let's bring all the parts of you, the, the good, bad air quotes.

Kerri:

Cause none of it is bad really.

Kerri:

And the indifferent, let's just bring all those parts of you together and

Kerri:

just see all the beautiful parts that can come from looking at the darkness.

Kerri:

So for me, that's what it's about.

Kerri:

Like I'm wanting to shine a light on the good that we're doing.

Kerri:

So that's that's mine.

Kerri:

Yeah.

Taylor:

Yeah, no, it's actually what.

Taylor:

Really pushed me to pursue a completely separate thing from the healing

Taylor:

and hindsight podcasts, because my, my diabetic life is one aspect.

Taylor:

I live with it.

Taylor:

It's not who I am.

Taylor:

And so it is actually through, and I'm pretty sure everybody went through

Taylor:

something last year, but it was just a domino effect of things that happened for

Taylor:

me of, I got laid off from my job, like many other people on the job that I really

Taylor:

loved, honestly, for, even within almost two years, I jumped into another one and

Taylor:

I'm recognizing I shouldn't have, because it was actually the time for me to sit

Taylor:

back and really reflect on what I had been keeping under wraps for so long, because

Taylor:

I thought, okay, once I get high enough in the corporate chain, then you know, then I

Taylor:

can take the time to pursue what I really want to do when I'm passionate about.

Taylor:

And it's led to my whole second show, which is about just deep

Taylor:

self-acceptance and being who you are, no matter what, because.

Taylor:

I recognize that was something about myself that I just hid for

Taylor:

so long, because I felt like I had to follow all the rules and I had

Taylor:

to present myself a certain way because this is what's appropriate.

Taylor:

And then when I started to see the cracks under the mask, well,

Taylor:

you're only doing that because someone else told you to do that.

Taylor:

What do you actually believe I'm out.

Taylor:

I'm out.

Taylor:

Nope, no, we're going to, I will just, I will pave the road, my damn

Taylor:

self, because no, this is dumb.

Taylor:

And so it is through a lot of deep shadow work that I was able to just be okay with

Taylor:

Taylor, because there was a lot about me, especially with body image issues that

Taylor:

I was just like, I'm not okay with me.

Taylor:

And now it's just, okay.

Taylor:

I'm pretty damn awesome.

Taylor:

And yeah, we're going to showcase that.

Taylor:

I think that's cool.

Taylor:

You want to do that?

Taylor:

Let's do it together because I've always been a developer and a trainer

Taylor:

in my professional career and I'm like, well, I don't want to end

Taylor:

that because I love helping people, but what can I help them with?

Taylor:

And that led me to figure it out what my secondary calling or I

Taylor:

don't want to call it secondary.

Taylor:

My.

Taylor:

My yang calling.

Taylor:

I don't know, they're equal to me.

Taylor:

Like my, my diabetes work is just as important word.

Taylor:

So like, there's a number of things, but I'm putting equal effort into it.

Taylor:

Cool.

Taylor:

So I know we touched on, uh, a little bit of what shadow work is and why

Taylor:

you specifically focus on that.

Taylor:

I'm curious to know though, like how does shadow work intertwine

Taylor:

with your actual health, whether that's mental or physical health?

Taylor:

Because I feel mental health is now really making its way into the space

Taylor:

of treatment for actual medical diagnosis and stuff like that.

Taylor:

But there's not enough emphasis on pairing the two.

Taylor:

Okay, here's this medication for your body stuff, but now here's what

Taylor:

you should do for your mental stuff.

Taylor:

Because when I was diagnosed almost six years ago, I was just kind of

Taylor:

left to be in my pit of despair.

Taylor:

If you will, like many others, I'm like, okay, well this sucks.

Taylor:

I have this potentially lifelong condition that.

Taylor:

Might never go away.

Taylor:

And I don't know how I feel about that and I'm still trying to live my life.

Taylor:

So I would love to know the correlation between the two from your perspective.

Taylor:

Yeah.

Kerri:

So they're everything I talk about is all relative,

Kerri:

obviously, to an individual, right?

Kerri:

Like I made generalizations because there are a lot of themes inside

Kerri:

of the work that I do where people will come to me and they'll have

Kerri:

similar situations if you will, but everyone's having a unique journey.

Kerri:

So I preface whatever I say next with that, because I don't want anyone

Kerri:

to ever feel like, Oh, it's a cookie cutter solution for how everyone

Kerri:

approaches their diagnosis of diabetes or any other diagnosis by the way.

Kerri:

But what I do know to be true is this unhealed emotional trauma, if not

Kerri:

checked, if not, if you don't do something about that, even if it's just beginning

Kerri:

to do the work, you're going to see it manifest in a physical condition.

Kerri:

Now before everyone sends me a hundred emails about, you're saying that

Kerri:

I'm the reason that I got myself in this position of having diabetes.

Kerri:

I dunno.

Kerri:

I dunno.

Kerri:

You like that.

Kerri:

Whoever's sending me that message.

Kerri:

Look at me.

Kerri:

Anticipating messages.

Kerri:

I'm being a Debbie downer.

Kerri:

No, the thing is we all have trauma.

Kerri:

I don't care who you are.

Kerri:

There's always something because we've moved in society.

Kerri:

We live in the world where like things are happening, right?

Kerri:

So we're picking up trauma along the way.

Kerri:

And yes, when we don't check that trauma, it can show up in a different way.

Kerri:

For some people, it does show up as diabetes for others.

Kerri:

It shows up as depression, anxiety, cancer, like lots of other physical, this

Kerri:

ease disease, this ease, and it shows up.

Kerri:

So I feel like if you know about shadow work and you aren't even,

Kerri:

excuse me a little bit familiar with it, you are encouraged to

Kerri:

do the work because if you don't.

Kerri:

More physical elements are going to bring themselves to

Kerri:

the surface, because guess what?

Kerri:

When you're stressed out, when you're not dealing with traumatic events from

Kerri:

the past, it doesn't have those emotions.

Kerri:

Don't have anywhere to go in your body.

Kerri:

They're not being released into anything.

Kerri:

So they find a place in your body and they lodge themselves, right?

Kerri:

The energy, the feelings, the emotions, they all kind of find a home and lodge

Kerri:

themselves in your body somewhere.

Kerri:

And the subconscious kind of compartmentalize is all of it

Kerri:

because it's trying to keep you go.

Kerri:

Your subconscious is really what is allowing you to do many of the

Kerri:

things that you do, because it's just kind of putting you on autopilot.

Kerri:

And so you're not thinking about doing this work.

Kerri:

You're not checking in to do this work because you are still

Kerri:

functioning, but you really not.

Kerri:

That's the thing, right?

Kerri:

Like you're really not under the surface.

Kerri:

If you're not looking at the shadow parts of yourself,

Kerri:

they're going to come up later.

Kerri:

And that's the thing.

Kerri:

When people, by the time people come to me to do the work, it is so far gone

Kerri:

and it's not because they weren't aware that they had trauma or they weren't

Kerri:

aware that they had things to heal.

Kerri:

They were afraid, or they were ashamed.

Kerri:

They didn't feel like anybody else was going through something similar.

Kerri:

So by the time they come to me, we are going all the way

Kerri:

back to light to childhood.

Kerri:

We're going back 20, 30 years sometimes depending on the age of the individual.

Kerri:

And we are breaking all kinds of generational stuff too.

Kerri:

So when you don't do your shadow work, you may still, you're not thriving.

Kerri:

You're definitely just surviving.

Kerri:

You are still showing up in the world than you are surviving, but.

Kerri:

You're not thriving.

Kerri:

So when you do kind of tap into shadow work, regardless of what your diagnosis

Kerri:

is, then you start to feel like there's freedom, even in showing up and knowing,

Kerri:

like you said something awesome.

Kerri:

You said about your diagnosis.

Kerri:

It's a part of you, right?

Kerri:

But it doesn't define you.

Kerri:

And I think that's something that people need to recognize too.

Kerri:

Shadow work brings all this stuff to the surface for you to look at it.

Kerri:

But none of it really defined you.

Kerri:

And so it's just an important thing to look at.

Kerri:

This is something that we're not really encouraged to do.

Kerri:

The whole premise of shadow work is that we are working with suppressed feelings.

Kerri:

We are working with emotions that are caregivers or parents, whomever raised

Kerri:

you or whomever you were around the most.

Kerri:

We are working inside of the paradigm of things they told

Kerri:

you were true about yourself.

Kerri:

And you believe that.

Kerri:

And so your whole life, you grew up thinking, you know what, maybe that's a,

Kerri:

as a boy or a man, I can't express myself because on one occasion, my dad said, man,

Kerri:

up and now you're like, Oh God, man up.

Kerri:

So now years later, you're in a relationship with a partner and

Kerri:

you're emotionally unavailable.

Kerri:

And you have no idea why?

Kerri:

Because your subconscious has suppressed.

Kerri:

What went on 25 years ago in that one conversation with

Kerri:

your dad and you're clueless.

Kerri:

And it's like, when you come to me and I start asking questions,

Kerri:

I'm like, dude, that's why.

Kerri:

Okay.

Kerri:

You remember when you were five and you just said that to me casually.

Kerri:

That's it right there.

Kerri:

That's it right there.

Kerri:

And people's minds are blown cause they're and I'm giving, this is a

Kerri:

very obvious general example, right?

Kerri:

And a small one, because it's so much deeper than that, but it's a good one

Kerri:

because people can relate to that.

Kerri:

We understand that what people tell us stay.

Kerri:

Lot of those thoughts stay lodged inside of our brains.

Kerri:

And then they show up later when we get into a relationship, they show

Kerri:

up later when we go to the doctor and all of a sudden there's this

Kerri:

diagnosis and the doctor is, yeah, we don't really know how this happened.

Kerri:

I have a friend who got diagnosed with diabetes.

Kerri:

She's been healthy, her whole life, everything has been okay.

Kerri:

And all of a sudden.

Kerri:

This is it.

Kerri:

And the doctors, I don't know, your eating habits are good.

Kerri:

Your XYZ is good.

Kerri:

And it's for her emotional health is shit.

Kerri:

And I know this because she, my friend, so she's, I don't get it.

Kerri:

I get it.

Kerri:

There's so much you haven't been working on and PS diabetes, but her

Kerri:

case was something that she would mention randomly here and there.

Kerri:

Wouldn't it be crazy if I got diabetes because she would just say, no, it's

Kerri:

really hard for me to point that out to her because people don't want to make

Kerri:

that connection of, we are manifesting things that we are focusing on, but

Kerri:

it so happened to be that right.

Kerri:

And then when I recommended for her to start seeing a therapist

Kerri:

to talk about the emotional stuff, it all started coming out and then

Kerri:

she started making the connection.

Kerri:

Weather alert.

Kerri:

Her diabetes is completely under control right now, as a matter of fact, It's

Kerri:

looking, and this is obviously not the case for everyone, but it's looking,

Kerri:

she might be beating this thing.

Kerri:

Like she might not actually have this diagnosis and working

Kerri:

longer and I'm like, wow.

Kerri:

So for some people, that's the effect of doing shadow work now that you released

Kerri:

all this stuff and you've created room in your physical body for health, guess what?

Kerri:

You start to thrive because there's a big difference.

Kerri:

There's a few, like I said, huge difference between surviving and thriving.

Kerri:

And when you shared about like, when you got your diagnosis and you were

Kerri:

just kind of left with it, right.

Kerri:

What to do, and I don't understand.

Kerri:

And that's the thing, whenever you get diagnosed, um, with the physical

Kerri:

element doctors, aren't necessarily talking about your mental health in

Kerri:

the same conversation, they're telling you all the things you need to do to.

Kerri:

Not even get beyond it, to just maintain some level of stability.

Kerri:

So here are these pills here.

Kerri:

Here's this medication.

Kerri:

Here's a bunch of shit.

Kerri:

I want you to take.

Kerri:

Let's not talk about how it's going to make you feel like that's,

Kerri:

when I'm not here for that, I'm here to write the prescription.

Kerri:

Like nobody wants to worry about your mental health right now, but

Kerri:

that's the seed I'm trying to plant.

Kerri:

Whenever something occurs in your life.

Kerri:

I want you to always try to connect the dots to your mental health,

Kerri:

because everything that you go through has an effect on your mental health.

Kerri:

I don't care if you are, or you think you are the happiest person in the world.

Kerri:

Everyone should have a therapist.

Kerri:

Everyone should be talking about how the different experiences

Kerri:

in their life make them feel, including a diagnosis of diabetes.

Kerri:

Right.

Kerri:

That's where I am on I'm.

Kerri:

That's how I think.

Kerri:

And I recognize that other people don't necessarily think like that, but.

Kerri:

Why isn't your mental health, just as important as your physical health?

Kerri:

I feel like we should always have that in the same sentence, right.

Kerri:

There should always be a connection to that.

Kerri:

So that's how I feel about it.

Kerri:

I know people may disagree, but I absolutely believe that our

Kerri:

emotional wellness is it affects our physical wellness always.

Taylor:

Yeah, no, I agree too, because a lot of times, and you hear it.

Taylor:

Stress is the one thing that comes up in so many different medical conditions

Taylor:

and at least with diabetes, and it's not surprising to hear that the

Taylor:

emotional side has caused her blood sugar to go up, which can later on

Taylor:

lead to that diagnosis because stress causes your blood sugar to go up.

Taylor:

Your miniature cycle causes your blood.

Taylor:

Like a lot of things can set your heart hormones.

Taylor:

To go all kinds of crazy and stresses.

Taylor:

Usually one of the common ones that set off all of your fight or flight

Taylor:

functions that leads to, okay, I need to raise your blood sugar.

Taylor:

So your insulin can start working more.

Taylor:

So you can have the energy to fend off whatever the hell is coming at you, even

Taylor:

if you're not actually in physical danger.

Taylor:

And then you have the work of having elevated high blood sugar

Taylor:

for a long period of time, it's damaging your blood vessels.

Taylor:

It's damaging a lot of different nerves and things like that.

Taylor:

And then your insulin productivity system, for those of us who can still

Taylor:

create the insulin it's overloaded.

Taylor:

And then it's not, I don't want to, I don't want to help the

Taylor:

glucose get into your system so you can burn the energy off.

Taylor:

There's too much, too many people here, too much I'm out.

Taylor:

And now you're insulin resistant, which also leads to it.

Taylor:

So it really is tied so closely with that because at least the way I see it

Taylor:

or what I've understood, and a lot of the efforts that I've put into myself over

Taylor:

the past, I'd honestly say two years is.

Taylor:

Every time.

Taylor:

My mind has been in a great place.

Taylor:

All of my actions followed suit, I didn't eat crappy.

Taylor:

I wanted to do more activities or I wanted to get out.

Taylor:

I wanted to, you know, be involved in things.

Taylor:

I wanted to do things that brought me joy, but in the moments where I was struggling

Taylor:

mentally, whether it was because I had something going on with myself or even

Taylor:

been the work field, I was a manager.

Taylor:

I had 15 bodies that reported to me and all of their issues that came with it,

Taylor:

whether it was work-related or not like that weighed on me and I needed to hold

Taylor:

space for them because I'm their leader.

Taylor:

I'm supposed to do that.

Taylor:

And so all of that bearing down leads to sleeping in barely getting

Taylor:

to work on time, or I'm not putting any effort to taking care of myself.

Taylor:

And my work is kind of rushed because I'm so mentally overwhelmed

Taylor:

that the order of how things should flow is just completely off.

Taylor:

And so the more that I dug into, okay.

Taylor:

If I don't get my mind right first, before I start anything else, then.

Taylor:

It's all going to go to shit because I'm putting mental energy into something

Taylor:

that isn't actually serving me.

Taylor:

And so even now working for myself, my mornings are for me, I actually

Taylor:

don't start working on anything until 11, sometimes noon, because

Taylor:

I recognize a sleep is also a big thing, especially for diabetics.

Taylor:

Like we need sleep y'all okay.

Taylor:

Or

Kerri:

five hours,

Taylor:

but sleep on top of just giving my mind the opportunity to set the tone

Taylor:

for the day I get more done in four hours.

Taylor:

Then I do an eight hour days.

Taylor:

And my, even my therapist was telling me about this year.

Taylor:

Typically you get the most productivity in four hours and you do anything else.

Taylor:

And everything else is kind of maintenance mode.

Taylor:

That's the burst that you need.

Taylor:

And so when I started rearranging my days around that, I was just

Taylor:

like, I was done early yesterday.

Taylor:

I'm like, huh?

Taylor:

Well, why am I staying away?

Taylor:

40 hours a week for lighting that don't even think twice about.

Taylor:

Okay.

Taylor:

Yeah.

Taylor:

I'm glad I quit because you don't realize how much it plays a role.

Taylor:

And so I even tell my dad sometimes because his, he, his job is insane and

Taylor:

he's also a type two diabetic and then stress and anger and things like that.

Taylor:

Bill, he builds it up and then he implodes and we're like, this is not healthy.

Taylor:

It's not healthy.

Taylor:

And so I make sure I tell him, I'm like, what are you doing for yourself today?

Taylor:

Are you doing something for yourself today?

Taylor:

What is that?

Taylor:

And then in those moments where work is crazy, I actually like to go sit in my

Taylor:

closet, like pitch-black close the door.

Taylor:

And I just sit in my car that like my own miniature sensory deprivation chamber,

Taylor:

which obviously doesn't work because my dogs are like, why are you in there?

Taylor:

But because it just gives me a minute to just stop because we're never doing that.

Taylor:

We're just constantly going all the time.

Taylor:

And when we're going all the time, it's because we want to ignore

Taylor:

the thoughts that are coming up.

Taylor:

And not dealing with them

Kerri:

mailed it.

Kerri:

That's the other part.

Kerri:

So when I think of shadow work, I think art red, let me back up.

Kerri:

A lot of people say, when I suggest, Oh, meditation, mindfulness, all

Kerri:

the things to slow down, like what you're describing that question.

Kerri:

What have you done for you today?

Kerri:

And people will respond.

Kerri:

I'm so busy.

Kerri:

I don't have time to XYZ.

Kerri:

I'm like, that's exactly what you would a prime target.

Kerri:

The moment you say, I don't have enough time, that's your trigger

Kerri:

right away to know, you know what?

Kerri:

I probably need to be doing this.

Kerri:

I need to be the one doing meditation and mindfulness the most because

Kerri:

you just, again, nailing it with how you're describing it and

Kerri:

that's because you're living it.

Kerri:

And that's why it lands for you because you've gotten to see when you haven't

Kerri:

done certain things, what has occurred.

Kerri:

And then when you maybe did a little bit of a, something would happen there.

Kerri:

And now that you're like fully committed to a process, Daily

Kerri:

rituals and things like that.

Kerri:

How completely different your life looks by the way shadow work.

Kerri:

That's doing a piece of shadow work too, right?

Kerri:

Like you probably didn't think of it that way because you having the

Kerri:

self-awareness and the recognition of what I need for versus what I want versus

Kerri:

what is necessary, because it's, you look at it all in those compartments

Kerri:

too, but then saying, you know what?

Kerri:

I can't function.

Kerri:

If I don't pour this back into me, because shadow work says somewhere in your life,

Kerri:

somebody told you, maybe you remember, maybe you don't that hard work pays off,

Kerri:

which it does, but people take that to the extreme I'll rest when I'm dead.

Kerri:

What?

Kerri:

Well, yeah, you will be, you'll be dead.

Kerri:

And I really understand when people are not asleep when I'm dead.

Kerri:

Yeah, you will.

Kerri:

And we won't have your energy to interact with who, what are you talking about?

Kerri:

All of those things.

Kerri:

So I feel like some people are doing shadow work and they don't even realize

Kerri:

they're doing shadow work because a lot of it is self-awareness itself.

Kerri:

What's that recognition of what have I been doing that hasn't been working.

Kerri:

And then if you go a little deeper with it, when you know you're doing

Kerri:

shadow work, you try to connect the root it's like, where did I learn this?

Kerri:

At what point did I pick up this habit?

Kerri:

When did I create this limiting belief for myself?

Kerri:

At what point did my subconscious just get on board with the shitty behavior?

Kerri:

Like you gotta be asking yourself those questions and people do that.

Kerri:

Not recognizing that shadow work too.

Kerri:

You don't have to be fancy y'all we don't have to have big terminology inside of it.

Kerri:

You don't have to be in, in a giant workshop.

Kerri:

I mean, definitely come to self-care society on Tuesdays nine 30 and 1130, my

Kerri:

class will have to plug it, but I'm saying focus you to come to my class, but I'm

Kerri:

just saying you don't need some big event.

Kerri:

For you to take a small step in the direction of taking

Kerri:

care of you and that's legit.

Kerri:

What shadow work is it is you taking care of you?

Kerri:

It is you putting yourself back in control of your own experiences and your thoughts

Kerri:

and your actions and your behaviors.

Kerri:

It is you being accountable for you.

Kerri:

Now in the adult version of yourself, the past is over.

Kerri:

We can't go back and change it.

Kerri:

We can't do anything about what our parents said or didn't say,

Kerri:

but as an adult, we can recognize how that has affected us.

Kerri:

And we can start to reflect on those things in the class that I

Kerri:

just plugged self-care society.

Kerri:

One of the big things we do and you can attest to this.

Kerri:

Taylor is we do a lot of prompts.

Kerri:

We do a lot of reflection.

Kerri:

People get triggered.

Kerri:

Well, my big thing is self care is not just airy theory.

Kerri:

Y'all we love a good spawn item, right?

Kerri:

We love a good candle break in the tub and all the things.

Kerri:

And that's cool.

Kerri:

Like I'm a big fan of those things as well, but I'm a bigger fan of

Kerri:

sitting with your feelings and really understanding what those feelings

Kerri:

mean and crying your eyes out.

Kerri:

If you need to taking that deep breath and going, okay, so now what does this mean?

Kerri:

What do I need to do shift this pattern?

Kerri:

That to me is self-care on a whole other level, right?

Kerri:

So I forget how I got into this space of what I'm saying, but the point is

Taylor:

you were just responding.

Kerri:

It's, it's great to take care of you is my point back to you.

Kerri:

We tend not to, especially with people of color.

Kerri:

And I just think that's a really important thing to keep pointing out.

Kerri:

Yeah.

Kerri:

It sounds like I'm a broken record when I keep saying people of color

Kerri:

and how we take care of ourselves.

Kerri:

And that is genuinely because one of my other passions and one of the other

Kerri:

things I do in my businesses, I'm helping clients break generational trauma,

Kerri:

break those curses, stop doing what those that came before you did that.

Kerri:

Wasn't working because our ancestors, we pay homage and honor

Kerri:

our ancestors, but let's be clear.

Kerri:

Our ancestors were legit, just surviving in certain scenarios, never,

Kerri:

ever getting to a point of thriving.

Kerri:

But here we are in present day, we have an opportunity.

Kerri:

This generation has an opportunity to do things different.

Kerri:

So let's take care of ourselves when you get a diagnosis of whatever it is.

Kerri:

You feel your feelings about that right?

Kerri:

More in the life that you would have had without this diagnosis.

Kerri:

For sure.

Kerri:

But then put your big girl panties on and let's figure

Kerri:

out what we have to do for you.

Kerri:

You need support, get a therapist.

Kerri:

You want to do a holistic route.

Kerri:

Great figure out what you need to bring into your life from a health space.

Kerri:

In addition to the medication, because as a therapist, I'm a big

Kerri:

proponent for a place for medication and holistic healing, right?

Kerri:

Like I think medication is necessary for a lot of diagnosis, different

Kerri:

diagnoses, but I also feel like holistic a holistic way of looking at things.

Kerri:

How are things affecting the mind, body, and soul?

Kerri:

I think there's a place for that as well.

Kerri:

My point is get on top of that and figure out a regimen

Kerri:

that's going to work for you.

Kerri:

Right?

Kerri:

How do you navigate having any kind of a diagnosis, including diabetes?

Kerri:

Well, you figure out what regimen is going to work for.

Kerri:

You.

Kerri:

You do not ignore what your doctor says.

Kerri:

Definitely don't do that.

Kerri:

However you figure out what else is there?

Kerri:

Natural ways.

Kerri:

You can also be doing things.

Kerri:

Are you moving?

Kerri:

Are you putting exercise into your regimen?

Kerri:

What's your food, your diet look like all those things are important

Kerri:

and we no longer get to just have the excuse of, well, I don't know

Kerri:

any different, figure it out.

Kerri:

Like it's time to figure it out.

Kerri:

Listening to podcasts like this shit, Google and YouTube.

Kerri:

They're our friends.

Kerri:

Y'all just go in there and pop in a search.

Kerri:

Yeah, you go down the rabbit hole of reformation.

Kerri:

That's my

Taylor:

mom's.

Taylor:

That's my mom's response to everything.

Taylor:

Did you Google it?

Taylor:

Ma'am you all right.

Kerri:

Did you, did you Google it?

Kerri:

Did you Google it?

Kerri:

Did you Google it?

Kerri:

Oh, well, shit.

Kerri:

It's true though,

Taylor:

man.

Taylor:

So, so much great stuff because I love what you said earlier about,

Taylor:

especially in our ancestry, how rest was earned there, wasn't a choice in that.

Taylor:

And I think it's also still built into our culture that you do the work hard.

Taylor:

You do, you put in your 40 hours, you show up, you do all this,

Taylor:

and then you'll be rewarded.

Taylor:

Not only with the check, but acknowledgement for all

Taylor:

the stuff that you're doing.

Taylor:

And I think even with the pandemic, it's challenging companies have,

Taylor:

that's not gonna work anymore.

Taylor:

If you're not allowing people to prioritize rest.

Taylor:

Then you're going to find yourself losing more and more people because

Taylor:

people are starting to take back their power and understanding of at

Taylor:

the end of the day, if you don't get to you together first, there's no way

Taylor:

you're going to be able to perform.

Taylor:

And I wish, I, I feel like whenever I get to a place of

Taylor:

hiring a team, that's what I want.

Taylor:

Like you straight, because the only way that you're going to be able to produce

Taylor:

what I need is if your straight, and you can tell when people are taking

Taylor:

advantage of that, obviously, but when people genuinely need to take care of

Taylor:

themselves, like that has to be first.

Taylor:

And I, you know, don't agree with any company that punishes

Taylor:

you for having to do that.

Taylor:

And when I feel like when we look at our European counterparts,

Taylor:

it's sustained working 40 hours,

Kerri:

y'all like, right.

Taylor:

So what are we doing that we have to literally for 40

Taylor:

and for those who, who lived the salary life, that's out the window.

Taylor:

You can't even say a hard stop for 40 hours.

Taylor:

Whatever, you know what I mean?

Taylor:

That makes it worse because you're just like, ah, I'm constantly on, I can't turn

Taylor:

my phone off because then I get bitched at, for like your team member needed you.

Taylor:

And he didn't answer the phone because it was after 10 o'clock

Taylor:

at night and I needed to sleep.

Taylor:

You know what I mean?

Taylor:

So

Kerri:

that's the thing though.

Kerri:

We so a part of that, right?

Kerri:

Cause we can't put it all on the companies because I've worked in corporate

Kerri:

America, I've worked in different things and then I've run my own business.

Kerri:

Now I run my business and I do therapy for an organization.

Kerri:

So it's, I'm, it's like a double life because in my home

Kerri:

office, where am I right now?

Kerri:

Like I'm in charge of creating.

Kerri:

All my scheduling and all of that.

Kerri:

And then doing therapy for an organization, they tell me what to do.

Kerri:

So that's been interesting too, because I've had to create the

Kerri:

boundaries with that for myself.

Kerri:

That's where the shadow work comes in as well, because we, the reason that

Kerri:

we are doing that 40 hours, 40 hour plus life, and not thinking about

Kerri:

taking care of ourselves is like you said, it's been ingrained in us.

Kerri:

It's been embedded in us that this is what you have to do to be seen a

Kerri:

certain way in corporate America or at your job, wherever, because it's not

Kerri:

just the corporate America space, even entrepreneurs that hire teams, they

Kerri:

get bigger than their britches still.

Kerri:

And all of a sudden they forgot what is important.

Kerri:

So I love that.

Kerri:

You said when you hire a team, this is what you're going to

Kerri:

keep in mind, kudos to you.

Kerri:

But I think we just are afraid.

Kerri:

We don't know how to ask.

Kerri:

For that time to take care of ourselves without feeling guilty.

Kerri:

We, you know, that's it, that's all that is.

Kerri:

And I put that into practice even just recently.

Kerri:

I just asked yesterday two days ago, I forget recently.

Kerri:

I asked for time off from my, from my organization that I'm doing therapy yet.

Kerri:

And to put that into perspective for you all, as a therapist, you

Kerri:

can't really ask for time off.

Kerri:

I mean, you should, but you can't, you know why?

Kerri:

Because we have clients who I've clients in crisis.

Kerri:

I have clients who have high trauma clients who are suicidal.

Kerri:

Like it's a big deal for me to ask for that time off, because I

Kerri:

am concerned for those clients.

Kerri:

What are they going to do?

Kerri:

I have clients that I have to see more times a week, cause they just

Kerri:

came out of a two month hospital stay and are on suicide watch in my mind.

Kerri:

Oh my God.

Kerri:

How are they going to survive this time off that I'm asking for?

Kerri:

And my immediate next thought was.

Kerri:

No, how are you going to survive, Carrie?

Kerri:

How are you going to be able to provide for them?

Kerri:

If you don't take this time off, if you I've been in grad school for the

Kerri:

last two and a half years straight, I've been working full time that

Kerri:

entire time, but grad school full-time working, full-time being a wife.

Kerri:

Full-time being my daughter, like all the things full-time and I'm finally

Kerri:

going to graduate in a couple of weeks.

Kerri:

And I was like, Oh no, I need to take, I know I'm so excited.

Kerri:

I was like, I need catch my breath.

Kerri:

That was me putting in action.

Kerri:

Yes.

Kerri:

The boundary that I've learned to create based on doing shadow work, it was my self

Kerri:

awareness from shadow work to understand I did earn the rest, but it wasn't because I

Kerri:

earned the rest that I asked for the time.

Kerri:

It was because I had the all to really tap in to me and asked me what did,

Kerri:

what do you think you're going to need in a few weeks when you're done.

Kerri:

And the response was to turn your goddamn brain off, to sit on method.

Kerri:

So I think that's the example and I'm not gonna lie.

Kerri:

It wasn't, there was trepidation around that because if there isn't, then you

Kerri:

really don't give a damn right, because there should be a little bit, a little

Kerri:

piece of trepidation about what I do.

Kerri:

I'm passionate about what I do, but I care about me more.

Kerri:

And I want to model that behavior even to my clients therapy and coaching clients.

Kerri:

If I need a second, I need a second.

Kerri:

And I'm going to say that.

Kerri:

And that's honestly, one thing you can count on transparently when you're doing

Kerri:

shadow work and it's actually working.

Kerri:

You can count on you being transparent with people and then

Kerri:

receiving it, how they, how you would like them to receive it.

Kerri:

But if they don't, the other part of that is that's not your problem, right?

Kerri:

If a job is not in agreement with that, You don't need to be at that job because

Kerri:

they don't care about your mental health.

Kerri:

And I know that's hard for people to really wrap their heads

Kerri:

around because you're scared.

Kerri:

You're scared.

Kerri:

You're going to lose the job.

Kerri:

You're scared of the consequences of what's going to happen, but

Kerri:

I promise you what's for you can never miss you honestly, like what's

Kerri:

for you can never, ever miss you.

Kerri:

So you've got to take care of yourself first.

Kerri:

You can't be this bright light in the world if you're not doing

Kerri:

the actual healing work and also taking care of yourself to be

Kerri:

able to showcase that light.

Kerri:

You know what I mean?

Kerri:

And so I think that's important too, and I really want people to stop feeling guilty

Kerri:

about taking care of yourself like that.

Kerri:

So it's okay.

Kerri:

It's really okay.

Kerri:

I promise you.

Kerri:

It is.

Kerri:

Yeah.

Kerri:

So.

Taylor:

I think he meant you made a big point there about not feeling guilty

Taylor:

about taking care of yourself, because one of the biggest things that I've seen,

Taylor:

not only in the diabetes space, but just anybody, you know, who are they're having

Taylor:

to navigate a health crisis of some sort is that you feel guilty about having

Taylor:

the situation in the first place you feel guilty about being in the whatever

Taylor:

body set up that has been portrayed.

Taylor:

Do you mind if chronologists told me to lose 40 pounds and I'd be fine and he

Taylor:

was nice about it, but I'm just like, okay, there's a lot to unpack there.

Taylor:

We'll come back to that.

Taylor:

Okay.

Taylor:

There's guilt around.

Taylor:

So for me, I tried to permit my diagnosis the year before because both of my parents

Taylor:

have it, um, my grandmother's habit.

Taylor:

So I know that there's a genetic side to it as well.

Taylor:

And to me it was like, okay, it's my responsibility.

Taylor:

Now that I have this information to.

Taylor:

Get my shit together.

Taylor:

So I don't end up state that I ended up in and even guilt.

Taylor:

And I was in a pretty interesting relationship at the time

Taylor:

that aided in my stress.

Taylor:

And it wasn't that we were bad people.

Taylor:

We were really bad with each other.

Taylor:

And I even felt guilty leaving that relationship because it was just like

Taylor:

this environment is killing me because I'm having to deal with all these

Taylor:

things and the reaction to people.

Taylor:

When you start taking care of yourself, when you start being a little bit more

Taylor:

selfish of like, I need to rejuvenate me more is telling for sure, because

Taylor:

when I see people that are frustrated or suddenly get quiet when I'm doing stuff

Taylor:

for myself, that says something to me.

Taylor:

Oh, okay.

Taylor:

Either you just got a bunch of stuff going on.

Taylor:

Cause I like to give everybody the benefit of the doubt or me moving this way.

Taylor:

Is somehow triggering you because I'm no longer complaining to you about

Taylor:

all the things that I have going on, or I'm not this case that needs to be

Taylor:

fixed all the time because I'm a fixer.

Taylor:

And I tend to surround myself with other fixers because I'm hoping

Taylor:

that they'll do it for me, cause I don't want to do it for myself.

Taylor:

And I had to cut that

Kerri:

cord real quick.

Kerri:

Cause

Taylor:

it wasn't working for me.

Taylor:

But you know, just realizing that once you start putting yourself in

Taylor:

the place of, I have to take care of me first, it's not selfish at all.

Taylor:

It is just honestly, what should be human nature is make sure your

Taylor:

stuff is together before I do anything else for anybody else.

Taylor:

And people that start to rub against that in the wrong way, they probably shouldn't

Taylor:

be around because they're vampires.

Taylor:

At that point, they're just reading off of you not being at a good space.

Taylor:

And it is really just helped me to understand how I should move and what

Taylor:

I set the tone for when I meet new people of this is me also just not

Taylor:

hiding myself because I used to shrink myself around all different personality

Taylor:

types to feel comfortable, but.

Taylor:

You know, this is me, this is what I'm about.

Taylor:

And when you present X, Y, and Z, to me, I'm going to consider

Taylor:

where I'm at first period.

Taylor:

And if it doesn't flow with that, then you're going to have to be

Taylor:

okay with me saying, no, thanks.

Taylor:

Maybe next time, because there's so much guilt and shame around doing

Taylor:

things for yourself, because we've been conditioned that we should be, we

Taylor:

have to fit into society because that was, that whole thought is built around

Taylor:

wanting someone else to have people around them that makes them comfortable.

Taylor:

In my opinion, other people can disagree.

Taylor:

But in my opinion, the etiquette of how you should behave with

Taylor:

people or the etiquette around this is what's appropriate in the

Taylor:

board room is all to make somebody else feel better and keep you from

Taylor:

actually being exactly who you are.

Taylor:

I feel like if we were exactly who we were, we would know how to navigate

Taylor:

relationships better because we know that people are giving us authenticity.

Taylor:

They're not faking it with this.

Taylor:

And then we can kind of build a culture around that.

Taylor:

Doing what's best for yourself is the ultimate.

Taylor:

I saw what I saw today.

Taylor:

So what I posted on Instagram self-acceptance is the biggest

Taylor:

middle finger of all time.

Taylor:

And I absolutely, it's just, I'm not going to take it where I have to

Taylor:

change what works for me, what feels best for me to make you comfortable.

Taylor:

I'm not here to manage your reactions in your emotion.

Taylor:

Do you need to manage them yourself?

Taylor:

And as you're managing yourself, we can still coincide together

Taylor:

where we're all meant to be unique and we should celebrate that.

Taylor:

And so I think that guilt and shame, underlining theme with a lot of how

Taylor:

we were brought up is such a big deal.

Taylor:

Especially when you add a health thing on top of it, because I don't want to

Taylor:

feel bad for taking medication to get to where I need to be holistically.

Taylor:

I shouldn't have to do that.

Taylor:

And there's a lot, especially in the diabetes space that people just rip each

Taylor:

other apart for doing what works for them.

Taylor:

And unfortunately, it's, it's kind of scary.

Taylor:

I had to leave a bunch of Facebook groups because I'm like.

Taylor:

You can only talk about this way of eating, but that way

Taylor:

of eating doesn't work for me.

Taylor:

So what if I just want to share, what's been working for me or get some insight

Taylor:

about tweaks and stuff and it's just, Oh, you have two slices of bread.

Kerri:

Well, that's all, I mean, all that projection though, like all

Kerri:

that, there's a lot of projection people listen, take up space.

Kerri:

Y'all I want people to show up and start taking up space because the thing is,

Kerri:

it's not just the cliche that we train people, how to treat us going back to

Kerri:

your point of being your authentic self.

Kerri:

We're still looking for permission to do that.

Kerri:

And that's generational too, right?

Kerri:

Like I don't want to have to ask for permission to show up exactly.

Kerri:

As I feel I did for a long time, because I didn't know.

Kerri:

And I promise I made to myself after I left corporate America was no more that

Kerri:

shit I'm I want to show up in spaces.

Kerri:

Where I am the G not just tolerated.

Kerri:

I want to show up and I want to feel like I'm wanted there.

Kerri:

What I have to add there is going to give value, but that's very

Kerri:

intentional on my part as well.

Kerri:

So you have to be very aware of, you said it, you surround yourself by other fixers.

Kerri:

I used to surround myself by other, which was a term I could use, not fixers

Kerri:

by people who I was captain save a ho.

Kerri:

You know what?

Kerri:

Let's just keep it real.

Kerri:

That's you know,

Kerri:

that's what it was because it vibed with who I was as a person.

Kerri:

That was the only way I could technically.

Kerri:

In that space be myself because I'm a fixer, I'm a problem solver.

Kerri:

I'm all these things.

Kerri:

If I'm around other problem solvers, interestingly, ironically, not the

Kerri:

same as you with in terms because I get what you were saying, right?

Kerri:

Like maybe they'll do it because they're fixers too.

Kerri:

But my thing was, I want to be around a bunch of fixers because

Kerri:

then we, what are we doing?

Kerri:

No, I have to be the one to be able to fix the people who need me.

Kerri:

And then I realized where that came from too, because it was the

Kerri:

only way I was really allowing myself to be authentically me.

Kerri:

I couldn't do that in other spaces.

Kerri:

And that's kind of what led me to becoming a life coach and a therapist

Kerri:

by the way, because shit, if I'm gonna do that, I'm going to get paid for it.

Kerri:

And that's just what it is.

Kerri:

Let's just be real about that.

Kerri:

I've been doing it for however long decades at this point and it occurred

Taylor:

to me, huh?

Kerri:

I probably need to get a little cash money for this for, for

Kerri:

all the effort that I'm putting in.

Kerri:

And then it would no longer meaning like a circle of people

Kerri:

around me who needed fixing.

Kerri:

Now I could just do that for work.

Kerri:

And now I could show up in spaces and just be my authentic self and just

Kerri:

give them all those pieces of me.

Kerri:

Now, I'm not going to lie.

Kerri:

I mean, it's a natural way of me being, so my career and my personal life do collide

Kerri:

in that space because I can't turn off.

Kerri:

I can't turn it off knowing what I know, but I work, but I am working

Kerri:

on trying to like, just not right.

Kerri:

Just let people talk about their issues, their problems.

Kerri:

And I just, I just not, I just I'm just like, no, I want to be

Kerri:

like, I just don't and I'm like, okay, I'll wait till I'm on a pod.

Kerri:

Let me, let me,

Kerri:

you know what not.

Kerri:

Should I tell them they're fucking everything.

Kerri:

Not fucking everything up.

Kerri:

No, I shouldn't.

Kerri:

I should just let them.

Kerri:

Okay.

Kerri:

Should I tell that person you gossiping about people, but y'all life is

Kerri:

untended to, should I, no, I shouldn't.

Kerri:

I should.

Kerri:

I shouldn't.

Kerri:

I should just listen, but you learn how to do that because you got to create space

Kerri:

for people to do that for themselves.

Kerri:

So it's okay.

Kerri:

But interestingly enough, it's the shame and guilt that takes us away

Kerri:

from being authentically who we want to be, but you have enough experiences,

Kerri:

like you said, and you, all of a sudden, you wake up and you're like,

Kerri:

I don't want to do this anymore.

Kerri:

The new me is emerging.

Kerri:

I like this version of me and anybody else that doesn't, they could

Kerri:

kick rocks and it's not being an asshole saying that it's can all go.

Kerri:

Apparently we can all go to the place that I'm going.

Kerri:

We can't all go there.

Kerri:

So thank you for your time.

Kerri:

Thank you for your energy.

Kerri:

Again, it sounds because as Capricorn does that makes us look like we're jerks

Kerri:

for saying that, but it's not there.

Kerri:

The truth is that if you try to come with me where I'm going, your

Kerri:

feelings are going to get more hurt.

Kerri:

Not because I'm trying to hurt them.

Kerri:

You're just going to realize you can't keep up.

Kerri:

You can't, you won't be able to keep up, but this is a special breed because

Kerri:

we pick it up categories and the ones who are, we're not talking about y'all

Kerri:

because there are not all capitals.

Kerri:

Twins are created equal.

Kerri:

True here

Taylor:

too.

Taylor:

I dated one.

Taylor:

It didn't work out

Kerri:

ourselves.

Kerri:

That's not how that works.

Kerri:

How that works, even though you would think another Capricorn would be able to

Kerri:

understand, but they don't, I couldn't date, I couldn't date another meat.

Kerri:

That would be nuts.

Kerri:

That would, I can't.

Kerri:

It never, my wife is a Virgo and thank God for that.

Kerri:

And even that I say is a lot because we're different, but we're the same.

Kerri:

No,

Taylor:

especially the bird.

Taylor:

Cause I remembered me and my dad's a Virgo and we got an argument with our

Taylor:

first like big fight where actually like.

Taylor:

Stood up.

Taylor:

I say air quotes, but that's what it felt like at the time for me,

Taylor:

because trying to share my feelings with him was hard because I was

Taylor:

always so afraid of retaliation.

Taylor:

And now I just tell my parents stuff because it's like they're growing too.

Taylor:

And it's really beautiful to even see my parents like step into places

Taylor:

that I never thought I'd see them.

Taylor:

My mom told me when I talked to her on Sunday, she's not emotionally

Taylor:

mature to handle doing that.

Taylor:

So I'm just gonna, I'm gonna keep myself right here because I recognize

Taylor:

that I'm not what'd you say, speak your truth, Taylor, that what you said.

Taylor:

I'm like

Taylor:

he said to me in this argument, he's, you know what, Taylor, I'm not gonna

Taylor:

keep going back and forth with you.

Taylor:

Cause I know you, you could argue just as good as I can and

Taylor:

we're not going to get nowhere.

Taylor:

So I'm gonna just end the conversation

Taylor:

on his spot.

Taylor:

So I have learned from the petty master very well, so many things.

Taylor:

Okay.

Taylor:

So.

Taylor:

I don't want to stop talking, but I know I want to honor your time

Taylor:

cause I know we're running low on it.

Taylor:

So I

Kerri:

levels to this, right?

Kerri:

There's so many things just to be clear, y'all definitely

Kerri:

emotional healing levels to it.

Kerri:

It is honestly, it is not anything you can encapsulate in a short period

Kerri:

of time, but I completely believe in planting seeds, I believe in bringing

Kerri:

resources to people, even some people are going to listen to this podcast.

Kerri:

It's going to be the first time ever.

Kerri:

They've heard about shadow work or they're being introduced to the concept of.

Kerri:

How, uh, unhealed emotional trauma can lead to physical ailments.

Kerri:

Like for some people it's going to be their first time hearing that,

Kerri:

but it's so much deeper than that.

Kerri:

Y'all honestly, and I would love to come back on and go into some of the

Kerri:

deeper parts of this, but I feel like this is a really great introduction for

Kerri:

people to understand what shadow work is, how it affects you emotionally,

Kerri:

where it comes from what it's rooted in, and that it doesn't discriminate.

Kerri:

So black, Brown, yellow listen, the trauma and having to do that work.

Kerri:

It exists.

Kerri:

So that's the other thing I think people need to be clear on therapy

Kerri:

is not just for non people of color.

Kerri:

It's not shadow work.

Kerri:

Doesn't just affect others.

Kerri:

It affects all of us.

Kerri:

And the faster we realize that the more we can step into our healing

Kerri:

and really shine, really show up in the world as our authentic selves.

Kerri:

Like you said, no longer be afraid of that because there's really

Kerri:

no point in living a small life.

Kerri:

The only person you're hurting is yourself when you're small life,

Kerri:

that's it that's the only person.

Kerri:

So

Taylor:

I mean, that I'm aware of, I won't know, until two, I have to let the

Taylor:

earth room go, but you only get one shot.

Taylor:

And so we're only get one shot.

Taylor:

I mean, Eminem said it all the job to figure it, figure out the rest.

Taylor:

So I really would love to get one piece of advice that you would give

Taylor:

somebody who is just now discovering shadow work, or they're wanting

Taylor:

to just now start to get into it.

Taylor:

Like what would be one thing that you would tell or two,

Kerri:

I would say, start with.

Kerri:

Sitting in silent for five to 10 minutes daily.

Kerri:

And in inside of that silence, just allow the thought your thoughts to come

Kerri:

up because they will like, when people start meditating, people who aren't

Kerri:

familiar, they always tell me, they're like, yeah, but then all these thoughts

Kerri:

come up and they interrupt my silence.

Kerri:

That's okay.

Kerri:

Let them come up.

Kerri:

Start to sit inside of that and learn to sit with your feelings

Kerri:

inside of those five to 10 minutes and get curious about that.

Kerri:

Not from a space of needing an answer, just get curious with stuff, reconnect

Kerri:

with your inner child, by asking some questions about what they need

Kerri:

from you now that you are an adult inside of those five to 10 minutes.

Kerri:

So I guess that's one major thing.

Kerri:

And then a few little things inside of it.

Kerri:

As far as like a piece of advice, sit in silence, sit with your feelings and inside

Kerri:

of sitting with your feelings, allow the thoughts to come get curious about it

Kerri:

and ask your inner child some questions regarding what they need from you now.

Kerri:

In order to feel that love and support that maybe you didn't get in the past.

Kerri:

That's the beginning of it because a lot of shadow work is

Kerri:

based on inner child healing.

Kerri:

I don't know if I said that prior.

Kerri:

I may have been just passing and given an example, but it's important to know

Kerri:

that it all connects back to childhood.

Kerri:

So just having that time to really sit with that little girl inside of

Kerri:

you, that little boy inside of you, because they still are inside of you.

Kerri:

Y'all okay.

Kerri:

I know people are like, Oh, well, why would I want to do that?

Kerri:

That's ridiculous.

Kerri:

I'm an adult.

Kerri:

Now the baby used to be still exists in society.

Kerri:

That little girl, that little boy, that young adult, that teenager, that, that

Kerri:

person who had their first kiss, they're like, that's still all exists within you.

Kerri:

We need to learn to have conversations with those means parts of ourselves,

Kerri:

especially if there's trauma there, because you want to reassure.

Kerri:

Like I'm taking responsibility now.

Kerri:

I am really like doing the work now I got you.

Kerri:

Now I teach my young kiddos in therapy.

Kerri:

One of the ways they deal with stress, I tell them to do the butterfly hug, right?

Kerri:

Like you gotta do.

Kerri:

And I'm telling that to the kids because they're so as adults, we have

Kerri:

to learn to do that, to cog that little person inside of you, they still exist.

Kerri:

They need to know that they're safe now.

Kerri:

So you can actually do this work because that's a big part of

Kerri:

why people don't want to do it.

Kerri:

I don't want to disturb the peace or rather the things that I have put aside.

Kerri:

Cause it ain't peace.

Kerri:

You think it's peace.

Kerri:

It's not peace.

Kerri:

So that would be, I think, a big thing that you can do as a beginner.

Kerri:

And as you get more into it, I would say, seek out the support of a therapist

Kerri:

that coach something in that room because the work can get very triggering.

Kerri:

And I don't want people to spiral as they're inside of that space.

Kerri:

So you can start on your own, but once you get really deep into it, you

Kerri:

probably need a support system at the very least a trained professional that

Kerri:

can help you navigate that journey.

Kerri:

And that's not just the plug and get you, and it doesn't have to be me.

Kerri:

Obviously.

Kerri:

I'm not even plugging myself.

Kerri:

I'm saying, get you somebody who is trained to do this work, sit with

Kerri:

you and hold that space, guide you through the journey, understand

Kerri:

how to help you regulate your emotions as you dive into it all.

Kerri:

That's important too.

Kerri:

But the biggest thing is just start wherever you are, whatever

Kerri:

you can manage, just start.

Kerri:

And I can't stress that enough.

Kerri:

So

Taylor:

dude, remind me to tell you about my first inner

Taylor:

child visualization guidance.

Taylor:

Thing that I did was really interesting.

Taylor:

Yeah.

Taylor:

Yeah.

Taylor:

Because I went straight to a four year old me and I didn't talk it.

Taylor:

I wasn't audible.

Taylor:

I just like pointed and will touch my face.

Taylor:

And what came out of that was just play.

Taylor:

And at the time that's what I was missing is you're grinding so hard,

Taylor:

have some fun, it got really crazy.

Taylor:

So I want to do something before we close out and learn where we

Taylor:

can find you, I'm going to steal something that you do in your class.

Taylor:

Really cool.

Taylor:

So if, whenever you guys not, if whenever you guys joined self-care

Taylor:

society and purposely sign up for coach Gary's classes, one thing that

Taylor:

she always does is she always pulls a card at the end to help send this off.

Taylor:

And so I have these black and gold kind of self-care affirmation cards.

Taylor:

And what I love about them is they have this beautiful visual on

Taylor:

the front with a quote, and then they have a question on the back.

Taylor:

And in coach carrier's classes, she always does these great journal prompts

Taylor:

that I feel like always leave me.

Taylor:

Like I answer it in class, but I dig deeper into it after class, because it

Taylor:

really brings up a lot of great stuff that I ended up recognizing within myself.

Taylor:

And one thing that I remember recalling in classes, I am my job.

Taylor:

I think it was the first time I shared in class too.

Taylor:

And that was like maybe two or three weeks after I had started working for myself.

Taylor:

And I needed that class so bad that day, because I was, I had already, I

Taylor:

had my first breakdown, like a weekend, like trying to get the motivation of

Taylor:

structure and all that stuff like that.

Taylor:

Cause I have to create all of that.

Taylor:

So in the spirit of your class structure, I'm going to pull a card for us.

Taylor:

So even though this is recorded, it will be beneficial to whoever comes

Kerri:

across in.

Taylor:

Okay.

Taylor:

So this one, it says I enjoy taking care of my body and it's got a pretty little

Kerri:

load.

Taylor:

And then the back question says, what has my body accomplished?

Taylor:

That is impressive.

Taylor:

What are some of the loving decisions I make for my health?

Kerri:

Yeah, that's very valid,

Taylor:

but that's what it's asking for you to reflect on.

Taylor:

And I think this is pretty awesome considering what

Taylor:

this whole podcast is around.

Taylor:

So thank you for letting me steal your little

Kerri:

tactic.

Kerri:

I thought that that kind of brings a conversation together.

Kerri:

And that's what I think like with pulling cards and anything that I, that

Kerri:

is like synchronistic for me is like the ancestors and spirit affirming.

Kerri:

Everything that just happened.

Kerri:

And I, my confirmation, and you're not going to be able to see it on

Kerri:

camera, but I always get the willies.

Kerri:

I might've told you that separately, but I was getting the willies when the

Kerri:

ancestors are like, boom, you're on point.

Kerri:

And as we were like, wrapping this up, Willy's the hair.

Kerri:

I know you can't see it, but the hairs are like standing up.

Kerri:

You can't see it, but just trust that for me, when something like that happens,

Kerri:

it's also confirmation that I am in the right energy with the person I'm speaking

Kerri:

to because that's another big deal.

Kerri:

Y'all like shadow work is about intuitively understanding who you're

Kerri:

supposed to be around and who you're not supposed to be around, who you're

Kerri:

supposed to share energy time and space with who you're not supposed to.

Kerri:

And again, this is not about judgment or anybody or shaming

Kerri:

anybody or being a cool kid.

Kerri:

And you can't sit with us.

Kerri:

It's not that it's literally protecting your peace and your

Kerri:

energy, what you have to do.

Kerri:

And until intentionally, excuse me.

Kerri:

On a daily, right.

Kerri:

That's part of the shadow work too, but I love those cards and I love that

Kerri:

because that brings it together and gives you something to reflect on later.

Kerri:

So that's dope.

Kerri:

I'll just give you a little piece of what I would answer about the body thing

Kerri:

I am in all of my body's resilience.

Kerri:

First of all, I was going to give another example, but I'm going to give this

Kerri:

one because I'm assuming you have a lot of female listeners y'all we bleed

Kerri:

every month a lot and we don't die.

Kerri:

We don't die like every month.

Kerri:

And I know that sounds, the men listening are like, yeah, how do y'all do that?

Kerri:

Exactly.

Kerri:

How do we do that?

Kerri:

Our bodies are designed to be able to have just the right amount of blood for some

Kerri:

it's obviously it's a lot worse, right?

Kerri:

And I'm not talking about, if you have a health issue related to this.

Kerri:

I can speak on that because I had fibroids.

Kerri:

I had a whole open abdominal myomectomy to remove 16 fibroids three years ago,

Kerri:

and my cut me open and my body came back.

Kerri:

So I'm thankful that my body has the reason to do something like that.

Kerri:

I'm thankful that my body knows exactly what it needs to do.

Kerri:

I'm thankful that when I get a cut, I don't have to do anything, but know that

Kerri:

my body is going to replenish that skin.

Kerri:

Do y'all understand how powerful your bodies are.

Kerri:

And if you give your bodies the right things, your bodies will

Kerri:

give you back the right things.

Kerri:

But even if you don't necessarily do all the right things, nobody

Kerri:

is still showing up for you.

Kerri:

So please be grateful for that.

Kerri:

And your body just read that pen mic, like your body just took you through

Kerri:

a whole pan Devic for those of us that thankfully never contracted COVID.

Kerri:

And I know so many people did, and my heart goes out to those that lost

Kerri:

people in the battle of this, but for the many millions and millions

Kerri:

of us who didn't necessarily contract COVID your body did that.

Kerri:

Your body did that.

Kerri:

Please be aware of that.

Kerri:

No matter what you got going on your body keeps showing up every day.

Kerri:

Even with the bullshit we put in our bodies and do to our bodies every

Kerri:

morning, you, you wake up and your body's like, all right, bitch, one more day.

Kerri:

Okay.

Kerri:

New day.

Kerri:

And you're like, okay, I get it.

Kerri:

I get to start over.

Kerri:

I get it's a new day.

Kerri:

I get to make a new decision.

Kerri:

So sorry to be so crass about how I said that, but that's real.

Kerri:

That's like a hundred percent real that I think people buy with.

Kerri:

So I'm just saying, I'll leave that right there,

Taylor:

dude.

Taylor:

You're the best you realize that you signed a soul contract that you're going

Taylor:

to not only come back on this show, I got to have you on the live stream show.

Taylor:

That's where I feel like

Kerri:

I'm going to figure it

Taylor:

out.

Taylor:

Amazing guys.

Taylor:

There's a reason why I want to carry on the show because.

Taylor:

Like you said, it's, we haven't even really just broken through

Taylor:

the surface of how powerful this type of work can be for everybody.

Taylor:

And that's why, and those who listen know that I always had a huge thing

Taylor:

about mental health included in this because so much of our diagnosis is our

Taylor:

mental health and being able to take care of both, because one, in my opinion,

Taylor:

can't really thrive without the other.

Taylor:

I can't be mentally in bliss and my body is physically in pain.

Taylor:

I have to work through all of that to connect them and keep them

Taylor:

in strive together and optimize and synchronize if you will.

Taylor:

So your expertise and your wisdom is so greatly appreciated here.

Taylor:

And as well as your energy, how can people get in touch with you if they

Taylor:

want to get on your wait list and check in with you or learn when you're doing

Taylor:

a class or something, how can they

Kerri:

get in touch with you?

Kerri:

Sure.

Kerri:

So the easiest way is probably just to go to my website because everything is there.

Kerri:

So I am coach Kerry, K E R I.

Kerri:

Dot com I am coach kerry.com.

Kerri:

Also follow me on Instagram at I'm coach Kerry.

Kerri:

I have something really exciting coming up, actually that I would love.

Kerri:

It's kind of a, I don't want to call it a VIP experience, but it kind of is because

Kerri:

we're only limiting it to 20 people.

Kerri:

I'm doing a retreat in South Africa next March of 20, 20 to 20 women.

Kerri:

That I'm actually, I want to personally invite you.

Kerri:

We can talk about it more offline, but I want to put it out there for folks.

Kerri:

So it's sisters healing sisters.

Kerri:

So while we're not discriminating, because we're not about the discrimination

Kerri:

life, this is a retreat that is targeted to women of color because all of

Kerri:

the facilitators are women of color.

Kerri:

And we did that very intentionally because as I said, Brown or black people, our

Kerri:

approach to therapy support, help, and all that usually involves feeling shame.

Kerri:

So we are, we're creating this safe, intimate space.

Kerri:

There is, I want to save.

Kerri:

Five or six of us total.

Kerri:

Don't quote me on that because we've had a couple of new people

Kerri:

that want to join and be a part of this, but it's going to be dope.

Kerri:

It's going to be so dope and we're offering a payment plan and all that.

Kerri:

I understand that COVID is still a thing right now.

Kerri:

It's next year, 2022.

Kerri:

Y'all March, 2022.

Kerri:

So please contact me directly for information.

Kerri:

We are requiring a very small deposit.

Kerri:

I want to say it's 200 bucks.

Kerri:

It might be two 50, but I feel like it's 200 by the end of this month,

Kerri:

just to hold your spot, right.

Kerri:

This resort that we're doing this retreat on is right on the beach.

Kerri:

Have you all made this up ever?

Kerri:

I have not.

Kerri:

And I'm hype about it, but this resort and everything that we've done this space.

Kerri:

Okay, so you need to come, but I would love for people to reach

Kerri:

out and get information from me.

Kerri:

I'm going to have some stuff up on my website, the person who.

Kerri:

Like the facilitator of this entire thing, she has all the information

Kerri:

that she's passed on to me.

Kerri:

I am just teaching there, but I'm pushing this because I'm hype about it.

Kerri:

Sisters, healing, sisters, 20 year old, there's going to be breathwork

Kerri:

energy work, mental health stuff.

Kerri:

We're going to be doing dancing movement stuff by the beach.

Kerri:

Like it's going to be intense.

Kerri:

And we're also going to have time to be in South Africa and

Kerri:

do things outside of the retreat.

Kerri:

So we're going to have an excursion and things like that.

Kerri:

I think we, I feel like we have maybe seven spots left.

Kerri:

I have to triple check, but I'm encouraging and we're kind

Kerri:

of hand-picking who comes to cause the energy gotta be right.

Kerri:

But if you're interested and you want more info, please reach out to me.

Kerri:

And I am coachCarey@gmail.com.

Kerri:

I am going to put all this stuff up on my website.

Kerri:

So by the time this airs, it probably will be up.

Kerri:

But I definitely want people to ask about that.

Kerri:

Cause if not this one, the next one for certain, but you and

Kerri:

I can talk about it offline.

Kerri:

The big thing I wanted to plug, the other thing is definitely yes.

Kerri:

If you do want to get on the waitlist, it's not going to be a waitlist forever.

Kerri:

Y'all I'm booked out till the June at this point.

Kerri:

No, I lied.

Kerri:

It's now the middle of July, but that's okay.

Kerri:

I mean, people cancel, sometimes people shift things.

Kerri:

So if you're on the wait list, it's not like it'll be months and months from

Kerri:

now, but that's because I want to be present and show up for everyone in a

Kerri:

capacity where I am fully rejuvenated.

Kerri:

That's another reason I have the wait-list.

Kerri:

I have a full schedule of clients, but.

Kerri:

I couldn't do more.

Kerri:

And the old me would have said, Oh no, you can fit in these 10 people

Kerri:

that want to console the new me.

Kerri:

That is about my care that has been doing my shadow work is hell

Kerri:

no waitlist and people wait too.

Kerri:

It's worth it.

Kerri:

I just need you to know that I want to be my a hundred percent authentic

Kerri:

self for you, and that can only happen.

Kerri:

If I have a work-life balance.

Kerri:

So I encourage you to go to, I am coach kerry.com.

Kerri:

Follow me on Instagram, by the way, if you follow me on Instagram, that's how

Kerri:

you can sign up for self care society.

Kerri:

There's a link in my bio, and then you can sign up for my class, which is called

Kerri:

becoming the very best version of you.

Kerri:

Tailored can attest to that how awesome the class is.

Kerri:

And yet, because that's a part of it.

Kerri:

I am got it.

Kerri:

So

Kerri:

having me on the show, this was dope.

Kerri:

I'm so glad that you asked me.

Kerri:

It was my pleasure and I definitely want to do this again.

Kerri:

And I'm not just saying that because sometimes people will say shit like that.

Kerri:

Oh yeah, no, I want to come back there and then you try it.

Kerri:

And then the numbers change.

Kerri:

You're like, no, I genuinely

Kerri:

user not found.

Kerri:

Did you block me?

Kerri:

Whatever.

Kerri:

No.

Kerri:

I was just saying that to say it.

Kerri:

No, I'm not like that.

Kerri:

I really would love to come back and get into the meat and potatoes of, you

Kerri:

know, what the work looks like, what the other side of this work looks like,

Kerri:

because I feel like that's important too, not just talking about the struggles

Kerri:

of the work, but what does the healed version of you look like on the other

Kerri:

side, that in itself is a whole podcast.

Kerri:

So thank you.

Kerri:

And thank your audience for being so gracious and for tuning in

Kerri:

y'all keep supporting Taylor.

Kerri:

It keeps importing this podcast.

Kerri:

This is dope.

Kerri:

We got to support each other.

Kerri:

I'm really big on that.

Kerri:

Like I, yeah, I'm so big on that because I get it.

Kerri:

I get this entrepreneurial life so good for you.

Kerri:

I think this is amazing.

Kerri:

I love the work that you're doing and I'm honored that you

Kerri:

wanted me to be a part of it.

Kerri:

So I wanted to make sure I got that in.

Kerri:

Thank you so very much.

Kerri:

I appreciate you.

Kerri:

Thank you.

Taylor:

I appreciate your words.

Taylor:

That really means a lot.

Taylor:

And it's funny if you'd said something like that to me two

Taylor:

years ago, I had been like,

Kerri:

right.

Taylor:

But dude, this was absolutely awesome.

Taylor:

You were totally coming back

Kerri:

in, in more ways than one.

Kerri:

It's such a great

Taylor:

thing.

Taylor:

Y'all thank you for tuning into all of our wisdom, giggles and

Taylor:

all of the things, because I hope you got so much out of this.

Taylor:

This is like a personal class for me, dude, sign up for self-care society.

Taylor:

I'm not even kidding.

Taylor:

Like her classes every week are on

Kerri:

point.

Kerri:

If you love this, like

Taylor:

what she does in 30 minutes.

Taylor:

Like around my lunchtime, like I just, I go the rest of

Taylor:

the day, ham, you know what?

Taylor:

I just got all that I need to release.

Taylor:

I'm good.

Taylor:

She always plays a song on the way

Kerri:

out, which, and music is healing.

Kerri:

That's a part of the work I do.

Kerri:

I have a whole playlist on Spotify.

Kerri:

If y'all curious about really what's going on, I believe they offer the opportunity

Kerri:

to just do like a practice run.

Kerri:

You could take one class.

Kerri:

I want to say, I don't even know the car, 1499 or something.

Kerri:

You can take the class.

Kerri:

I feel about it.

Kerri:

You get access to my playlist and all the things, but yeah, music is life.

Kerri:

So that's a part of the healing.

Kerri:

Doesn't have to be daunting.

Kerri:

We can actually infuse some fun inside of the healing.

Kerri:

I am a big believer of that.

Kerri:

And so the way I teach and I teach other classes as well and workshops, et

Kerri:

cetera, but I bring all of me to it and I believe that's a really great thing.

Kerri:

I love music.

Kerri:

And I feel like, why not make it a part of the healing process?

Kerri:

Right?

Kerri:

It's shadow work, but.

Kerri:

It doesn't have to be daunting.

Kerri:

So anyways, we could go on and on and the people will assume, find that out so

Taylor:

much fun.

Taylor:

I always leave those classes feeling.

Taylor:

So it feels like I've exhaled.

Taylor:

Honestly, guys, it feels like I've been able to take a moment to just exhale

Taylor:

because I always find myself sitting at my desk and you know how they say, relax your

Taylor:

shoulders, relax my face and everything.

Taylor:

I'm like, Oh yeah.

Taylor:

So like your class reminds me to do all of that.

Taylor:

And then some, but like deep on the inside, so wonderful all the way around.

Taylor:

So thank you for everything that you're doing in the community.

Taylor:

And for being able to give your time to this community, I feel like this

Taylor:

is going to be super beneficial.

Taylor:

So you go find Carrie, you follow her, you support her, all the things, and

Taylor:

you already know where I'm at every Tuesday and Thursday, you know where

Taylor:

to find me at just Taylor, Danielle for the personal stuff at healing

Taylor:

in hindsight for the podcast stuff.

Taylor:

And yeah, we'll catch you guys next week.

Taylor:

Bye.

Taylor:

Bye.

Taylor:

Y'all.

Taylor:

We really could have just a mini series with just me and Carrie, like real talk.

Taylor:

We could talk at length for.

Taylor:

So for someone like this truly is an amazing conversation.

Taylor:

I really hope that you guys got something out of it.

Taylor:

It's really important to understand how much your mental health

Taylor:

plays a role in your health.

Taylor:

And not only that, it's not just making sure that we're always in

Taylor:

this happy go lucky mood, but really addressing the subconscious stuff.

Taylor:

The things that we don't think about, the things that we put to the side and

Taylor:

want to hide from the rest of the world, we have to come to terms and really

Taylor:

integrate ourselves and understanding those parts of ourselves because it

Taylor:

is you and we shouldn't only praise and uplift one side of ourselves.

Taylor:

We have to love and nurture the other parts of ourselves too.

Taylor:

And so.

Taylor:

Thank you so much, Carrie, for your wisdom, for your insight, for the laughs.

Taylor:

All of that, because it is just so important, the work that you do

Taylor:

and the work that you're doing for communities of color, and then some,

Taylor:

it is so great to see you and your beautiful force of being able to make

Taylor:

change and impact people's lives.

Taylor:

So please go out and support coach Carrie and everything that she's doing.

Taylor:

Again, if you are not a part of self-care society, definitely join.

Taylor:

It is absolutely worth it.

Taylor:

Try out the one class option.

Taylor:

If you're not sure about committing to the membership, you can cancel it anytime.

Taylor:

Sometimes I've had to take a couple of breaks and that's okay,

Taylor:

and you just come right on back.

Taylor:

It's a beautiful space, and there are other amazing coaches, just like

Taylor:

Carrie, who are there to share their wisdom and help you navigate and learn

Taylor:

more about yourself and being able to really be you and know that self-care

Taylor:

is not selfish and giving you the tools that you need to be your best self.

Taylor:

So.

Taylor:

Make sure you go follow at, I am coach Carey, check out our website.

Taylor:

I am coach kerry.com.

Taylor:

All of that, because I promise you if you're able to get into a

Taylor:

space, you will change as it's me.

Taylor:

Taylor Danielle.

Taylor:

And if you would love to support the show, you can always buy me

Taylor:

a drink@buymeacoffee.com forward slash Taylor, Danielle with one L

Taylor:

D a N I E L E N, that you decide to contribute is so appreciated.

Taylor:

It helps keeps the lights on, helps to make sure that I'm able to bring in.

Taylor:

Great people and keep this podcast going.

Taylor:

I will never, and I absolutely mean this one.

Taylor:

I say, never ask anybody to pay, to listen to me in a subscription.

Taylor:

I know that's new things, Spotify, Apple, they're all coming

Taylor:

out with their own versions.

Taylor:

For me, this information is free.

Taylor:

And anything that you decide to donate is out of the goodness of your heart

Taylor:

and not because I need you to do it.

Taylor:

Okay.

Taylor:

So thank you so much for your time and energy for listening to this conversation.

Taylor:

Again, I really hope that it is meaningful to you and that you

Taylor:

take something away from it.

Taylor:

Don't forget.

Taylor:

Don't just prioritize your physical health, prioritize your mental

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