This week we’re joined by Nathan, a dad bravely living in a blended family of four kids under one roof. Four. Under. One. Roof. Respect. 🫡

We talk about what it’s really like merging families, juggling kids of different ages, working for weeks away from your family and trying to raise emotionally decent humans without losing your mind in the process. Nathan shares the wins, the challenges, and the stuff no one warns you about when suddenly your family tree gets way more complicated.

There’s honest chat, hard-earned lessons, and plenty of moments where we realise parenting is mostly just making it up as you go along.

Funny, thoughtful, and very real, this episode is for anyone in a blended family, thinking about one, or just curious how people manage that many kids without hiding in the garage.

-------------------------------------

Alex has two kids. Scott would like some.

Together, they’re figuring out parenting one questionable decision at a time.

My Friend Had a Baby is the podcast where two mates explore what it really takes to make and raise tiny humans, from a dad’s point of view. With a mix of personal stories, real-time learning, and expert guests who actually know what they're talking about, you’ll get honest insights into pregnancy, birth, and parenting… without taking any of it too seriously.

Funny, thoughtful, and surprisingly informative, this show is for dads, mums, parents-to-be, or anyone who’s ever met a baby and wondered, “How do people do this?”

Nothing in this podcast should be considered personal or professional advice.

In this episode, Scott and Alex talk to Nathan. Nathan's got four kids all under one roof. Wow. There's also some rude words.

My friend had a baby now he don't sleep no more Waves crash in his eyes Tides on the nursery floor. Oh, my friend had a baby I.

Was at a family function today, and so we've got two kids, Right. As you know, we're bringing in a third into the world.

And I was talking to more people at the family function who have three kids in their family, and they were just like, are you. Are you dumb? Are you an idiot? I was like, hang on a second. We've talked about this more and more.

And people are like, oh, it's so.

Lovely that you're bringing three kids into the family. And now, as we're getting closer and closer, we're doing Christmas functions and family functions, like, are you sure, Alex?

Are you really sure that this is what you want to do? I was surrounded by yes people who say, oh, it's so lovely. It's great. And now I'm slightly worried now, am I doing the right thing?

It's problematic for you in particular, being around a bunch of yes people that are really supportive of you because I'm often a huge part of the naysayer crowd. And speaking of Christmas functions, I was at a Christmas function just yesterday and very much the.

The level of enthusiasm for my wife and I bringing number one in was very, very high.

And one of my colleagues who I've mentioned before is having number five on the way kind of cut in and was, oh, I'm here as well, and I've got number five. And I was like, shut up. Like, you've had your time. You know, it's always like these people that.

That kind of love kids, but almost love the excitement of number one or number two. And then after that, it's like, oh, they're doing this again. You're doing this all over again. Yeah, no worries. That's cool.

Yeah. And we have a special guest this week who can probably. Who, let's say is number three for me, is probably just a cakewalk for him.

Scott, do you want to introduce our guest this week?

Yeah, we're. We're joined this week by our near and dear friend Nathan, who. He's coming in. I've mentioned him in the past, Mr. Australian Brady Bunch.

With the combined blended family varying different ages. You won't be able to see him. And it's a massive disappointment because he rocks the most hardcore dad mustache you've ever seen in Your life.

Welcome, Nathan.

Thank you. Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure.

It's absolute pleasure. What can you tell us?

Just throwing some hardcore questions at you right from the get go, but you've obviously been through the journey of two bio kids, if we want to call it that, and then suddenly you're in a situation where you've got extra kids in the mix as well. Is that an exciting experience? Is it like having more kids or they're just sort of established human beings that you know now?

It's a weird situation because I met my second wife, Nia.

Obviously we had, I had kids in a previous marriage before that, but I met these kids when they were still teenagers and it's been six or seven years. It gives you this insight. I've been fast forwarded through the teenage years and now in the most odd ways because these kids are amazing too.

Their mother done a really great job of bringing them up, but they're confident and they're cocky and now my 11 year old has turned into 11 teenager. She's drinking off their energy and you know, I get teased a lot by this situation.

I know other people in similar situation have differing results and you know, it can be quite troublesome but, you know, I've lucked out. I've got the best sort of situation.

So what are we talking about in terms of age range? Your youngest through to the eldest in the mix. Like give us a bit of a snapshot.

My youngest is 9 and my oldest is 24.

Yeah, that's, that's a real interesting dynamic that you're working with there.

Nathan, my oldest son there, is like my newest beer buddy. I get teased and hacked on quite relentlessly, which he is absolutely as funniest person I've ever come across. So I guess this situation, I'm.

I can only take things as they come. You know, you and me have been mates for a long time.

Everyone goes through trials and tribulations, but these kids have probably taught me a bit more about being a father and realizing where a good father should sit.

Because when they're young, when they're real young, especially I think the first episode you guys are talking about, you know, what do you do after the sperm donor sort of situation, I found out as a father, I'm a heaps better father. When they were above five years old, I could look after them. I can do everything.

But as far as engaging with them, yeah, after five it was heaps better. And having these teenage kids there and sharing some special moments with their life.

And their father and me amicable and you know, we had the lads 21st not long ago. It's, it's really good but it just teaches you a lot. It's just a different dynamic. So it's, it still works.

What do you attribute that turning point? So you said you're, you're a much better father over the age when your kids are over the age of five. Well, is it because they're more interactive?

Is it because you, I mean I've known you for a long time and you know, you're excellent educator and sort of guide, so to speak. Is it the ability to sort of absorb more information or complete more complex activities and conversations? What, what do you think it is?

Well, I don't think you can just extrapolate that comment across people in general. It's just because how it worked out for me.

Me and my first wife separated earlier on in the kids lives, which meant they were sort of under that five years old mark. They were with their mother a lot at the time and she's a really good mother to them.

She looks after them quite well, always being and doing everything for them. It's like you have to step back and go, what's the best for them kids? And they are in her capable hands all the time.

So when they were after four and it's probably a classic, you know, daddy's girl situation, she's pumped up to see me because she knows probably the, the regime is going to be out the window. We're going to do some fun stuff.

So just explain to me. So Nathan, just so people understand. So your, your situation there, is that. So there were two children with a previous partner.

There are two children that you've joined with a new partner and she's brought her kids along? That's correct.

Yeah, that's correct.

And you're expanding the family, is that right?

No, no, four's enough. No, we, we had a brief moment where my wife, my current wife, now we had the discussion, we both bounced back and forth over a fortnight.

I was keen for it and she wasn't. And then a week later she was keen and I was like, no. And I booked myself in to get the snip. I love babies. I love like newborns.

I love the say people's families developing that. I just haven't got it in me to do nappies ever again. I don't think I found sleep again. So that's nice.

Yeah. Oh, that's so funny you mentioned the nappy comment because I had my work due during the week.

And my one deterrent for making the most of the open bar was knowing that I had to change a nappy at 7 o' clock in the morning the next day. And I was like, you know what? Nah, I'm good. I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna get a good night's sleep and, and, and not overdo myself.

Unlike Scott, I know during the week you're able to let loose a little bit again and there were no consequences.

No consequences. Well, as per my what's very quickly to the list is going to be seen as my brand of podcasting.

I am yet again hungover and absolutely regretting starting this podcast at this time of year, because when we record again, I will yet again be hungover because it will be my wife's birthday and I'm drinking for two.

Good. Good, dad.

Yeah, yeah. No consequences.

The worst thing that happened to me as a result of sort of day and early evening and what turned into late evening drinking was needing to take the dog to the beach. That. That was the worst thing that happened to me today.

In hindsight of what it could be and probably what it will be, I should be not complaining about the fact I've got sand on me compared to having human excrement that I've got to manage.

Oh, just wait until you got to change a nappy on a kid who's been to the pool and is still being toilet trained and you go to pull their bathers off and you're like, you've let go in your training nappy in the pool, and now I've got to deal with this. That is a challenging site. I can assure you you'll get there.

It was problematic enough.

I stepped on a half packet of sweet and sour sauce at McDonald's when I went in there after the beach and I just looked down at my shoe and I was off.

Fuck.

This is not. No one's ever had anything worse happen to them before than what's going on right now.

I've got a story for you. My eldest daughter from the first marriage got her rhinovirus injection back in the day and my first wife was bringing her home.

I think she might have been maybe six or eight months old, small but, you know, not sort of newborn phase. I get this hurried phone call from her. You know, where are you? I'm at home. Open the doors. Why? There's shit everywhere.

And I went into this baby capsule that was flooded and I've pulled this muck covered love of my life, child, out of this war. Crime and taken her inside. And I'm sort of disgusted. I can't do it. At the same time, I get in the sh.

I'm trying to undress myself as I'm trying to, you know, she's just. It's just horrific. Anyway, later on that night, it was a Friday, I'm pretty sure, or Thursday was the end of the week. I was pretty tired.

I've been working a fair bit. She'd been sick all night.

I started to feel sick and I broke out in this horrific both end job where it required going to the doctor to get the injection and he goes, oh, you've, you've picked it up, you've picked up the rhinovirus injection. I was like, how's that? And goes, oh, you've probably eaten it. Nearly died. I'm already like feeling genuinely, genuinely sick.

And then he just told me I was eating my daughter's.

So for those of you that are afraid of needles, get your young ones vaccinated and then just eat the shit and you too will become vaccinated. That's how it works.

Right, That's a good segue because I do, I, I do want to talk a bit about, and this is purely from a selfish perspective because I've got two dads on hand that have been through this.

I do want to talk a little bit about the, the medical process in the lead up to birth in the sense of appointments, assessments and blood tests and all that kind of thing, because I am very much not the person that is being assessed and tested all the time.

But it's still, from an observer's perspective, pretty wild, the amount of stuff that needs to go into it and yeah, I guess the general anxieties that come out of the lead up to each one of those appointments. Because I think, Alex, you were saying before you're coming up to week, your 20 week scan.

We are a couple of weeks away from the 20 week scan, which is the big one where they do absolutely everything, where they measure and test the size of every single, what it feels like bone in the body of the baby. I remember the first time that we did it with our, with our firstborn.

That appointment took about three hours because baby had to be in the right position and they, and they had her doing, my wife doing calisthenics in the car park at one point just to get the baby in the right position and she had to drink water and then she had to go send it to the toilet. Oh, no, drink a bit more water. Baby's not in the right Quite in the right position. Da da, da, da. But Scott, I remember you.

Which we never actually got to talk about. Cause we got distracted in the last episode that you had just had the 12 week scan. So your partner would be, she'd be now what, around 15 weeks?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's up to that point and I think like interest, probably of interest or maybe it's interesting.

I mean, I know I spoke a lot about masturbating in the first episode, but that the prescribed sex I say we had to do pre or during the conception phase. We were given a very strict prescribed regime of penetration that needed to occur.

And.

You'Ve not had anything suck the fun out of the room. More than checking your list of different things that you need to do that's been given to you by a, you know, a 55 year old man. Not even with a wink.

He didn't even wink as he gave it. He's like, right, do this, then this, then touch this, smell this, poke this and eventually there'll be a baby in there.

Nothing less sexy than medically induced coitus.

Having tests, getting coitus, the nature of the game. So Nathan, from your, both of your kids from your first marriage, they were just sort of naturally conceived.

Did you, did you go through any of the, the fun that I'm going through or went through with the, the prescription around how to put said seed into said egg?

No, I just classically hit the target straight up. And I think there's proportionally. You can tell by my accent and you can make your own assumptions, but I seem to have done it right the first time.

But I tell you what, as a man, that, that's you said in the first episode, that's your job done. Hit the showers, boys.

There's probably a surprise for me like with the first child, you know, obviously if you care as a loving family, you know, you want to be involved.

I was and you know, I remember driving around trying to find the pathology office that had the results for the, the neck, the down syndrome measurement. It was frustrating, it's concerning. But yeah, it does feel like that.

And, and every time you turn up it feels like you get lobbed with another concern. And it's like, just give me at least at the start so I can, you know, we got nine months. I can start dealing with this at an appropriate time.

But I, I do genuinely the thing that shocked me the most as how many tests and how invasive it is for women in, in this process and then this was my observation, this my personal opinion they sort of get treated a little bit different, I thought too. And especially when it got to birth, it was a bit wild how they did talk to them. Right.

So I think about back when my first daughter was born, I was probably actually shocked about. Some of the midwives were so lovely and so caring and so, you know, this was a genuine passion.

And I mean, there's probably no ultimate sort of nexus where you can get your career and like a biological function to me.

But at the same time, there's some people, they're just like, you know, when you mentioned the guys just do this, they're just like, why aren't you breastfeeding? Are you stupid? But that's what it felt like. And I was like, wow, what.

We've got a bit of a mixed bag of midwives as well. Majority of them been absolutely incredible, you know, like, very, very caring and very available.

And here's my number and call me whenever you need something, et cetera, et cetera.

Then we've had some that are almost like, well, a very few that are kind of a bit like, you know, have this test and I'll stick a needle in you and let's check this. And yeah, it's fine. It's very, it's very procedural. But I think that I've got to remind myself in those ways because I find that very frustrating.

I get very, I get very irritable because probably a bit like yourself, Nathan and Alex, I stream the same as yourself.

I'm.

I go to all the appointments, I go to all the scans because I'm, you know, I want to see what's going on. I want to be involved in the process.

But I've got to remind myself that those midwives that don't, they're not always sharing the good news, you know, sometimes they got to break some pretty hard news or see some pretty, pretty scary along the way. So you can't blame them, I think, for being a bit, you know, emotionally detached at times for their own self preservation as well.

I think the same too. But in all, it wasn't a horrible experience for any strengths. Like, everyone was amazing in the end. It was just.

I was probably surprised about how complex this situation is for us. And I'm just, hey, guys, I'm going to be a dad.

It's hard to be a bystander sometimes, I think in this, when, because I think Scott and I have talked about it quite a lot about how the breadth of tests that you sort of go, oh, it's this week now, and you're having this test and unless you've done the research, you're not particularly aware of some of the things that come up.

And it can be a surprise for both of you sometimes, especially if you're in the privileged position of being able to have private healthcare where you do have access to more tests compared to the public system sometimes. And sometimes I wonder, oh, you know, is that a better option?

Because you're not exposed to so many, I guess, options, but at the same time you do find a level of comfort in those medical tests, but you are exposed to so much more Information which we've talked about in the past, tell us a bit about the births themselves. Like, has it was everything smooth sailing? Was everything final?

Were there a couple of moments where you're like, oh, this is not going the way that I expected it.

First child was pretty near in hindsight, pretty standard. It was a different time in my career too, so probably wasn't available as much. Like I still had to work and pretty involved in. In that.

But getting towards the end of it and before she was born, it was. It become a lot more tense, I guess. The test sort of ramped up and then my first wife's water broke late on.

I think it was a Saturday night and my daughter's head was actually on her cervix, which left a reasonable like half a squash ball. I would probably sort of save a hickey on top of her head.

And then my poor girl had to have that suction cup divorce priced to the back, which I could probably talk about this hour of my life for 10 years. Very much more brutal. A lot more force to retrieve a child than you think would be.

Yeah.

And I was like, man, my eyes were open. I. I was amazed. I was impressed. I was in love. I was a range of emotions all at the same time. So it's just one of those things.

I guess I'm the sort of person that just accept things as I happened around them. I probably didn't hold high expectations.

Everything was going the way it should have, you know, and everything was fine with the second child because I'll tell you about the OB in a minute for the first completely different story. So we had a. You said about private insurance. We got an OB first time around, paid the money, got to the day of birth. Guess what?

He's on holidays, isn't he? Oh no.

Oh no.

Almost like you couldn't calculate out nine months while you're taking on new clients.

So then we find ourselves in a situation where this guy standing in for holiday OB is trying to put an epidural in this lady while he's chatting up a nurse. I watched that. That was like the craziest day I've ever had in my life. I was like, you know, mate, can we. This is serious. Let's wrap this up.

Oh, he's trying to put an epidural, which is a very precise task, mind you, navigating a needle through a spine. And.

Yeah.

And is. And is casually having a conversation to. With a nurse trying to get his flirt on.

I was like, good for you. Not the time.

I don't know if there's. If that would inspire more confidence in me, though, where I'm like, he's so good with a needle that he's.

He's just, you know, tuning birds on the side while he's doing this is, oh, yeah, another day, another needle to the spine. But in the moment, I'm sure. Absolutely fucking ropeable.

Topic adjacent, if you will, on the back on that discussion around all the examinations and so forth that lead up to the big day. Because of the placenta placement for my wife, all of her examinations need to be done internally. So they're all internal exams.

And it's when we go in and we have these scans that I think it kind of reminds me how lucky we are as guys to not have to just be so natural with people jamming things inside of us. Like, I think about the last time I've had my bits assessed. The doctor was just like, you know, snap, on comes the glove, jiggle, jiggle, jiggle.

Didn't even get the classic, you know, blow a bit of hot air on the palm of the hand beforehand. Just give them a little slap and they're like, yeah, there's two in there. You're off you go. But I was sitting there and.

And we've got a really good ob. He's very, very good. He's very, very thorough. And I'm looking at this wand, you know, that's being about to be inserted into my wife.

And then I'm, you know, looking down at my own crutch and I'm like, you gotta. You got a smaller one of them. Like, I'm feeling a little bit emasculated by that.

But my wife's just like, you know, on the table, and she's like, just natural. Get your kid off. And then a doctor's in there poking around. I asked her, I was like, is that like, you know, is it weird?

Like, she's like, was that sexual? Like, it's not, it's not a dildo, it's like it's a medical instrument.

And I went, yeah, but it's like, it's, I'm just saying, like if the OB is going to do it, can you break eye contact with me while you're doing it? Like, it's like staring into my soul while he's doing it.

I was saying about that air. I think I felt like the, the cleaner come in at one stage and just had an inspection.

It was ridiculous the amount of different paper that come out and, and do that. So, you know, I get why that, yes, I, they were all doing their job, but it's like we have to have maybe a prostate exhibit once a year.

Well, they had, I reckon that day she would have had 50. Prostate exam, you know, adjacent.

Yeah.

In an hour. And then they're like, oh, we'll, we'll be back in, in an hour to do obs again. Yeah, I think we could do this in one trip.

I, I'm fortunate enough. I've, I've only ever had. Well, I've, I've had a colonoscopy and it's.

I immediately before when you were talking about that sludge that your wife has to drink all that, all of them, all women need to drink to check for gestational diabetes. It took me back to, I don't know, three months ago when I had my very first colonoscopy and had to drink the orange prep.

I don't know what everyone's fucking complaining about. That stuff's fine. Like if you can. Well, it's just a power, it's fine. But thinking about things being inserted inside of me.

The only time I've been awake when it happened was I'd sprained my back and the doctor did it. Like I sprained a muscle in my back.

I was going in there because I'm aware that if you pull a muscle in your back, you're meant to go to the doctor and then the doctor says, come back in four weeks time, it's still problematic. We'll send you off for an MRI and all that kind of thing. So I thought I'll just get ahead of the curve.

And I know it's probably musculoskeletal non event, go in, get it checked. So that clock starts ticking in case I need a scan.

And she got me on the bed and gave me a finger in the bum and I'm there, the socially anxious person that I am. And I'm just allowing this to happen.

And then I got out And I'm like, wait a minute, I'm no orthopedic surgeon, but I don't know what you're feeling for up there.

Pleasure.

But I. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

And I mean, I still, I still assume that's the reason we had so much difficulty conceiving in the first place was because so much was purged from me in that moment. On that topic of things being inserted inside of you though, like that I was a one time and that's like a glaring memory for me. That's like a.

Like I lay awake thinking about that at night. And then we've got our, you know, some good, some bad, but then we've got like our fairer sex that needs to just go.

And that's just a part of the routine of existing, of having things jammed in and things squished and you know, let's check for this. And yeah, lift your arms up and yeah, I'll give you a boob, a squeeze. And yeah, it's seeing it in person though.

I think you can mentally detach yourself as a man and go, oh yeah, you're off getting a pap smear or yeah, you're off getting this examined and whatnot. When you're there in person, it's like, this is agricultural.

Like, this is so, so clinical and your body's just this meat puppet that you is wrapped around your brain and everyone just wants a piece of it at any given time. So it's. Yeah, it's seeing in person really. It's a real eye opener.

I recall when, when we had our firstborn and Nathan, as you were mentioning, just like the number of times they get inspected over sort of the 12 hours leading up to birth and the number of different people that come in. It's like, okay, just kind of have a little check now. Check how, how dilated you are. And middle of the night, massive spotlight on the crotch.

And here's the next thing that we're checking for. And then, yeah, around the time of when she was in active labor and pushing, like all of a sudden there were like nine people in the room.

Like, where did you guys all come from? What's going on? Who are you people and what are you doing?

I assume you all know what you're doing and I appreciate you being here, but it is, it is really intimidating to see when it actually happens.

I didn't realize how rough it could be to the point where, and this is how I found out that babies heads are malleable to the passage they pass through and then can be changed by external forces. This kid's head looked like a predator head coming out by the end. But the doctor had has to put the suction cap on her head.

There's only one way you can do that. And then the force required to remove this child was when he said, come and grab the other leg. I was like, is this real?

You know, you hitting on a nurse two hours ago. So this, like, default baby birthing, because I feel like Ashton Kutcher is going to jump out on this one.

But she was born and she was healthy, and it was all good.

I got a question for you on that, right? So I am constantly impressed because when I'm handed a baby, I've never. I've never seen a baby being born.

I've never been in that moment where you've got what sounds like a rack, like, where the baby's stretched out by all these people and pulled, and there's a suction cup and there's a Jaws of Life and all that. I've never seen a baby being handled roughly, right? So I get handled. I get handed a baby, and I'm holding it like it's fine china.

I'm like, you know, better not, like, you know, squeeze his little finger too hard. And better not, you know, wiggle his little toes or her little toes too much. I don't want to hurt the baby.

And then the parents are like, what are you so worried about? It's a fucking baby. Like, you know, it's fine.

And I'm like, is that part of the process when you see it in action, where you go, okay, well, they're not, you know, a stiff wind isn't going to make this baby shatter. Is that something that contributes to your confidence in handling a baby?

Because I am genuinely worried about accidentally pulling my baby's arms off. Like, and I'm not saying that because I'm Hercules, but I'm like, they're just so. They just look really delicate.

I was the same after.

I don't know when it changed, but I. I know something had changed because I was at a CPR course one day, and it was my turn in a group to do a baby CPR thing. And I just had the baby sort of perpendicular to my body laying in my shoulder just like. But I was instantly just bobbing out. I was.

I didn't even know I was doing it until the instructor goes, got kids? I said, yeah. She goes, can say, I didn't even know how to do it. The kids weren't even a baby at that Stage. They were like sort of pretty grown.

You know, you just got to find your own path and be a bit more. That's your. Your bond as is as a dad to your kid as well and your mum as well.

But, you know, mums will hold the kids completely different to their dads. And that's. That's just biology or whatever it is ends up being.

But yeah, at the start though, you know, I'd feel a sneeze coming on and I'd be like, someone take this baby.

Like, this is the level like of fear that I have around hurting. I don't know if you guys ever had a baby. Did you ever. Baby Think it over. When you're in school.

No.

Did you never went through that.

A baby.

It's called a baby. Think it over. Did you ever have one of those?

No.

So it's an art. You get given an artificial baby, right, and. And you have it for three days. It's when. So I had mine, I think in year 10. So maybe think it over.

My baby's name was Moses.

Moses.

Cecil K was his name.

Core Memory.

They give you these babies and they. They cry and it's got like a little, like, it looks.

It's like a bottle and it's got a chip in it and you put it in the mouth so it's like it wakes you up throughout the night and you've got to rock it back to sleep. And you've got a feeder and it's got. You get even a couple of nappies that have got chips inside of them.

So you got to figure out what's wrong with the baby at 2 o' clock in the morning. So the idea is to put enough fear in you as a, you know, promiscuous teenager that you will use conception and not impregnate your classmates, right?

And so when I had Moses, I was. Because, like the head moves like, you know, and it registers like it keeps the score. You get a score at the end, you know, if you shake or you.

The head falls back or, you know, you take too long to respond to it or something like that. You get a little score at the end of it. And I was just so terrified even of parts of this baby Think it over Artificial baby.

That the parts of it that didn't register if something went wrong, like you could pull its legs off and it wouldn't register that it really just. It really just responded to your movement of it and so forth rather than anything else. I don't know if it's just that that Fear that, paranoia.

Like obviously that's a pretend baby, but having a real baby, I, I just have the, the heebie jeebies around. Doing something wrong, you'll be right.

Especially I'm sure, as Nathan can attest to, once you've got four of them, they're pretty resilient. They know what they're doing.

Mostly I think about the things I did as a kid and I probably say a lot in these children now. Children are resilient. It's just the social stuff that changes around us. I had to go out yesterday.

If I was 11 years old back in the day, I would have been left home by myself for the last two years. But leaving kids at home, you know, I guess too like Scott, it just. Like I said, it happens to you like that. That's a test, an experiment.

Like you are reacting to the things on. In. In three days for that. Like it's. Yes.

Like we don't want teenagers just to be running around impregnating each other because it's troublesome for the back end. But with children, what I found is you just start it and it just doesn't stop, but it just becomes your life.

And that's probably the happy part about it, is that they just become your life.

I've got some other questions for you, Nathan, but we're going to go into a break shortly. So I think it might be time for Alex to entertain us with his word of the week.

Last week you hit us with meconium. Meconium Classic. What a great one this. This time, actually, do you want to give us the intro to the music?

Cue that music.

It's time for word of the week. It's time for word of the wave. It's time, yeah, for Right off the wind.

Colostrum. Now, colostrum is a nutrient rich first milk produced by mammals. Well, in this case, you can tell here that I've used the Google thing here.

Your partner will produce a colostrum because it says here, including humans right after giving birth. Well, that's actually not true because colostrum can come before birth anyway.

It appears as thick, sticky and yellowish, packed with antibodies, proteins and growth factors to build a newborn's immune system, aid digestion and promote gut health. Often called liquid gold for its crucial role in early development. And that is colostrum. I should probably explain where the colostrum comes from.

I was going to say, I think you missed. I think, you know, I can connect the dots of where it comes from.

It comes out the boobies. It's before. Nice. It's before the milk comes in, which is another agricultural term, before your partner's milk comes in or the or it drops.

So you can look forward to that with colostrum.

On that wonderful note, talking about boobs and juice and all those sorts of things after the break, I think, Scott, you have a How to dad segment lined up for us?

I certainly do.

All right, we'll head into the break and we'll be right back.

Oh my friend had a baby Chaos joined the joy.

I hope you are enjoying this post class. If you like it, give it five stars. Don't forget to tear your fans and family.

Diapers on the dashboard.

Mil stains on the moon he says he's drowning in love but man it came too soon Baseline pounding heartbeat Wah wah guitar our scream Parenthood's a d not some easy dream. Oh my friend had a baby.

Welcome back to the My Friend Had a Baby podcast with Scott, Alex and our guest this week, Nathan Scott. As is now world renowned and famous is our how to dad segment. What is your question this week?

Scott well, most importantly, I have slaved away on the AI generation to create this theme song and I think it deserves its time in the sun.

How to dad how to do fix a boo boo or a shoe Got.

A tantrum got no clue how to.

Dad it's in your hand Step by step you'll understand how to dad, you're the man.

Now, as the listeners are probably well aware, I am using this podcast primarily as a source of free therapy for myself and I very much intend on continuing to pose all the questions I possibly can to our guests that are going to abate and sort of douse my crippling anxiety around fatherhood and something that's been plaguing me, and I'm glad we got Nathan here to share some insights into this is how long does it take your kids to realize that you're not really as competent of an adult as you're making out to be and realizing that you just got lucky a few times along the way?

Probably. Two answers. One, I think for maybe there's kids in the world. Unfortunately, they find that out through, you know, extenuating circumstances.

That which is a little bit sad, but the answer for me would be not until I become a dad.

So they realized right from the get go, like immediately they were just like, oh, fuck.

I guess it's just about your perception towards your parents, isn't it? They're your first origin point. They're your first rock. It's not until you have children of your own that you got.

God, this is say to your pants all the time, isn't it? You know, your reality compared to their reality is completely different. But we're like, oh, we're the same. It's hard.

Some days you get it right, a lot of the times you get it wrong. But I mean, I think for me the, the best way to parent is, you know, trust your gut, take a bit of intuition into it.

But realistically, you're just caring about people all the time. These are the people you most want to care about. So it just sort of, it becomes a thing. It just becomes natural.

Have you had any of those moments where you've been doing something or you've totally balled something up and your kids have just given you the old side eye and gone, wait a minute, I thought this guy had all the answers here.

I remember probably the first night we took first child home. I was like, they let us home with like a, like a human. That's nuts. Why would they do that?

But then sometimes like lunches, I've given out some lunches some days and I'm probably sure a lot of parents can attest to this, they'll sort of give you the side eye and you sort of got your parent look back and it's like, is what it is. But dad just can't be bothered today. And I'm sure there's a lot of parents out there that would get that.

And other times you slave your ass out and you're making the best meal they can and you get the same look. So it's.

Well, the reason this question has popped up for me is that very, very recently, as in sort of like the last couple of months, we had the, my, my wife's nieces over on her side. And I thought, well, this would be a good opportunity to like, show off my skills in the kitchen and feed them and make them something nice.

And I thought, well, they're here. They both had rough days. I'll get, you know, do the classic edition. I'll make some chocolate chip cookies.

Like, you know, that's always wholesome and you know, kids love it. It's full of sugar. Happy days and be fucked if they didn't come out, like as hard as a diamond. And the look on like, the younger one was fine.

She was like, yeah, it's fine, I'll eat it still sugar. You know, I hear a teeth snapping as she's sort of powering through it.

But the older one, it was, it was almost like this the glass floor shattered underneath it.

She looked at him and she looked at me and went, oh, no, you're, you're actually a hot mess and you can't even do this very simple activity of making chocolate chip cookies that I have done myself in home EC class. And you're a fully grown man and you fucked it up.

Have you had any of those moments, Alex, with your kids where they've, are they old enough yet to recognize your failings?

A lot of the time it comes down to, especially with my 5 year old, she's very, sort of becoming very aware of the world and the world around us and quite often it'll manifest in sparks of frustration I'll have while driving and she'll question me about that. You're like, what Daddy?

Was that, Was that person being a silly head or was that person like, I might have had a mild outburst at someone on the road and she is questioning me more and more about my interactions with the world and trying to understand that more. And sometimes I won't have the answer for her and she can probably get a little bit disappointed in that.

Where I go, oh, to be honest, I'm not sure why that happened. And I think she may be slowly realising that dad doesn't know everything, despite probably trying to put a face on that. I do know everything.

And when they sort of poke holes in that reality that you've sort of created for them, you sort of have that, oh, no, they're growing up, they're exposing me for what I am, for the fraud that I am of a father of just trying to put them in this bubble of confidence, something that's.

That'S always not always hasn't been sort of front and center of my mind throughout knowing you, Nathan, but I know for a big chunk of our friendship together you have done FIFO work. And for anyone that's listening outside of our Australian audience, and thank you to those people that have done that so far.

When we talk about FIFO work in Australia, we're talking about fly in, fly out work which essentially trades people that are jumping on planes and going to ultra remote areas of Australia and they're away from their families for anywhere from two to six weeks and beyond, living in little camping huts and you know, eating mass food or mass produced food in halls, being surrounded by, you know, other sweaty, grizzled human beings as well, plenty of which I'm sure are mustachioed, just like Nathan.

But what I'm curious about and, and I know I'm in a luxurious position Because I get to be there for all of the, the tests and the scans and all that kind of thing for you as a FIFO worker in that time in your life, what, what was that like? And, and how did you cope with that?

I was starting probably at that point probably about four or five years into supervising, slash pm.

I stayed home on a project in Adelaide for that and then I went back to do it because we wanted to move on, we wanted to build a house, we wanted to get set up. But I guess the thing at the time was I was so worked up about not being with my children, I'm missing out on these milestones.

I wasn't there for when my son's gender was reviewed. I got that in a text message and I guess I'm pretty sentimental and that should have been something that I, I wish I really was there for.

And that sort of. I know it's probably tried, but it doesn't really change the outcome. But it was, yeah, it was, it was tough.

And a lot of them sort of situations when they're sick and they're on the phone and mum was upset and a lot of them situations ultimately led to the classic detriment of that marriage.

I've met a lot of guys over the years that they're out earning really good money, working hard for it.

Obviously, you know, you're pulling the 14 plus hour days and slogging away in real, real rough conditions away from their families and for those that do it.

And I know that there are people out there that don't really have a choice because the cost of living is just so obscene not to get too political in that space there that people say, well fuck, I sort of have to do this now to maintain any kind of semblance of normality and lifestyle and so forth. But it's really dawned on me how hard that that would be. You know, again from a bystanders perspective.

Like I've, I've, I've only missed one appointment and it was big. It was because I was sick and I just go to it. They wouldn't, they wouldn't, wouldn't have liked me to come in there.

Snot in a coffin all over the place.

And I was there on the phone trying to make out what was going on as I was on loudspeaker because there was a sort of pretty dicey test result that came in. So yeah, that was kind of tricky enough to navigate as it was.

So hearing about you guys that, you know, that miss out on this stuff because you're out there earning money for your family, it's. Yeah, it's pretty full on.

That's the probably the hardest thing. You know, I was, I've been fortunate enough and you'll probably attest to the same, you know, we.

I still do fly at work now, but I'm not a tradesman anymore. I'm a pm.

I can within raising command, you know, Monday to Friday a bit more, you know, I can make it work for me a lot more in, in whatever sense that is. There's no real sort of emotional wins in, in FIFO work. You're removed, you're from your family.

When the kids were here, I used to go home and I'd be. I wasn't in the routine, you know, it was hard and I can understand why it sort of, it fell apart.

But the other thing, it was like I felt horrible because someone else has to do this experience completely alone. It's justification as well.

If we lined up what a husband does and what a wife does together, we'd end up with a whiteboard full of tallies, you know, within one or two numbers of each other. It doesn't really mean Much. And that sort of, it sort of brings back that core family value.

I guess at the end that you know, yes, you're doing something for that person, that other person is looking and caring. And sometimes, you know, relationships do get set to the side a bit for the benefit of the children, but there needs to be a balance. So.

Yeah, but it was tough. But at the same time my kids say now that I keep doing it and I've been quite successful in doing that.

And there's not any time at any point, like, because we've all probably been through it where it was like how we're gonna eat today.

You know, when we're sort of out of home in our 20s, like it's pretty nice being able to just like before we got on here today, 3 o' clock today, we decided let's go buy a slip and slide. So we just do it. But that's nine year old. Nice going to my daughter and my son. You know what you should do? Slip and slide. And I've got adult money.

Daddy's got the bankroll.

Before we slowly wrap things up with all four kids are under the one roof in your place here.

Yes.

What works for you with having that many people under one roof?

I'll probably think about this question in some versions a lot really. So build some context. I bought this house after the divorce and it's a 70s four bedroom house and we cream six people in it.

My 21 year old son is in a like walking robes are probably bigger on new floor plans than what he has for an entire room.

But I guess because I've sort of been fast forwarded through my biological children to these kids that I met at the end of their teens, I sort of resonated with them a lot more. And I guess what that situation taught me about my younger children is that you've got five different personalities in your household.

And I think what works for us is that everyone in this household, the younger kids, you know, sort of do their thing pretty independently. But like I said, my wife, now her kids, she's done an amazing job.

She was working for her father in a snack bar the late 20s, early 30s, needed to make a massive change, done an apprenticeship, put them both, same kids through private school by herself, the whole lot. And then I met her. Sucked in.

But then these kids, everyone's really good at that emotional intelligence, you know, you sort of address people one at a time and I guess that sort of taught me about my own kids. You know, there's so much noise and info that, you know, for Scott, you know, you're gonna be. You go Google something now, man.

And Alex, you've probably done the same. It's just what works for you and your family is an individual nugget of love and. And truth. That's why it makes it so special.

So, you know, for us, I think we're really good at being kind and courteous to each other because we had to start out that way. This was covert, too. My. My wife and these kids moved in this house, but that sort of dissipated, and now it's become a really a lovely place of love.

And we're going to renovate this house next year because it absolutely needs to. It's, like, beyond where I'd like. But I'm.

I'm a little bit sad now because all that sort of living room banter, our Christmases where we try to shove about 15 people into a room that's got a capacity of four into. And we all do it. It's, you know, it's nice. So I think just, you know, run your own race. There's a couple of blokes. So.

My friend had a baby now he.

Don'T sleep no more Waves crash in his eyes Tides on the nursery floor oh, my friend had a baby Life flipped like a coin oh, my friend had a baby Chaos joins the joy.

That's about all the time we've got today. We've got kids that need to be bathed and put to bed. Nathan's got beers that need to be drunk, and I've got a headache that needs to be nursed.

Huge thank you to Nathan for taking the time and sharing some of those real intimate details of parenthood and blended families and FIFO work.

And it's nice to have another voice in the room that has a different perspective on some things, but, you know, able to share some of those wisdoms along the way and we hope for any of our friends and the rest of the world that's out there and maybe needs to be away from their family at times for work or just missing the crew, missing the family unit that you're holding up. Okay?

I appreciate it, guys. Nothing but love.

And for all you tired parents out there, remember, coolant in the car, formula in the bottle.