We’re going deeper with Krystal Nielson than she’s ever been on a podcast. You may know “Coach Krystal” from Instagram or her reality TV days. She is known for her appearances on The Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise and her growing health & fitness brand, Total Body Guide. She’s also a busy mom, business owner, podcast host, and Certified Fitness Nutrition and Life & Success Coach. She is most recently a Certified Pre and Post Natal Fitness Specialist, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) Practitioner, NLP Practitioner, and Level 1 Reiki Certified. She believes that building a strong foundation in health is the cornerstone to your transformation and how retraining your brain is key to reigning over all areas of your life! 

Let me tell you, she’s a walking testimonial of what she teaches. We talked about so many different things in this episode; her journey from working in entertainment to finding her passion in fitness and personal development, the intensity of being on reality tv and how experiencing depression motivated her to achieve her professional dreams, getting quiet and recognizing what’s shiny versus what’s authentic to you, her process of deciding to end a relationship, different modalities and techniques she uses to release emotion and trauma from the body, and her advice for anyone going through a hard time.

This is one of my favorite episodes I’ve done in a long time, with someone I’ve admired for years. I appreciate Krystal so much for coming on the podcast and sharing her heart with this community!

“There's a bigger hand at play guiding us that loves us and is ushering us in the right direction. Are we getting quiet every day to listen to the whispers that are there to support us?” - Krystal Nielson

What we talk about:

• Moving from Montana to California to work in entertainment
• Why she decided to pursue a career in health and fitness instead
• How she found her authenticity when her identity was being projected on her
• Acknowledging grief in postpartum
• Affirmation work with physical fitness
• How Krystal uses EFT to release emotions, recover from trauma and move energy 
• Why she decided to end her marriage
• Gabby Bernstein: gabbybernstein.com
• Support she has gained from her faith
• Getting caught up in milestones and anchoring in what’s really important
• Dealing with depression after the Bachelor
• Made for this Moment by Maddie Pruitt

“We don't wanna be shaming ourselves for expressing emotions. They're really healthy, but they need to come out of the body, and that's why I really believe in physical movement, breathwork as well.” - Krystal Nielson

New episodes of the Alchemized Life Podcast are live every Tuesday!

Resources:

• Instagram: @coachkrystal_
• YouTube: youtube.com/c/CoachKrystal
• Podcast: Reign Over Your Life
• Owl Venice Gut Reset
• The Iconic Coach Free Training on June 14th: academyofbreath.org/iconic
• Ava’s Instagram: @avajohanna
• 💸 Sign up for Six-Figure Selling Masterclass here.
• ✨ Want to be featured on a Community Call Episode?? Fill out The Alchemized Life 2023 Community Guest Form
• 🧘🏼‍♀️ Join The Academy of Breath Waitlist for Summer 2023 Cohort
• 🔥 Join PROXIMITY: the all-access pass membership you've been waiting for by CLICKING HERE!

The Alchemized Life Podcast: Episode 254 with Krystal Nielson

Intro

[00:00:28] It's so funny, I was actually putting together an Instagram reel earlier today when I was waiting to get my eyebrows done, and I scrolled back and found a bunch of videos and photos from when I did my first cleanse and. Gosh. I mean, that was forever ago, but I'm still doing them. They still feel amazing.

[00:01:14] And there's been times where I've done the cleanse and it's like really felt like a detox. But this time it's just been so good. So I've been loving it. I'm feeling really, really energized right now. Like I said, I'm freaking beaming and I feel so grateful and truly like I'm pinching myself that I get to say.

[00:01:58] And then when she was on the Bachelor, I was like, holy shit, I follow that girl. This is amazing. And so I've just always really, really adored her and I'm so grateful that she's on the podcast. Like I truly. Loved this conversation, and you'll hear me in the episode. I was like, we're gonna go deep. I wanna go deeper, like I'm setting the intention that we go deeper than you have ever gone on a podcast, and I really feel like we did it.

[00:02:54] And she's just, she's just a real one, you guys. I. Loved her before this episode and this conversation and just like I felt even more in love and it's been so cool to watch her journey and really like a phoenix from the ashes rise from. The intensity of being on reality tv, and she talks about that in this episode, like really having to pick yourself up, getting, still getting quiet, coming back to who you truly are.

[00:03:48] We're supposed to be this or that. And I just wanted to know, because you know, crystal had a really intense go once the Bachelor aired. How did you stay authentic to yourself? How did you not forget who you truly are when all of these people are projecting lies and, and. And illusions of who you are. And so her answer was just so beautiful.

[00:04:36] And. I am just so excited to get your feedback. So I know I've been saying this a lot, but I'm gonna say it again. Spotify has the option for you to share at the bottom of the episode. What did you think? I would love to hear what you thought. If you haven't already left a review on the podcast on Apple, please take a moment to leave a review.

[00:05:17] I'd love to hear what other types of conversations or guests you'd like to see on the podcast. So if you're listening right now, I would love for you to just take a screenshot. Posted it up on your Instagram stories. Tag me at Ava Johanna and tag Crystal at Coach Krystal underscore and let us know what your biggest takeaway was from this episode.

[00:06:10] Like she is a walking testimonial for what she teaches and what she coaches on. And if you're looking for that total transformation, not just of your body, but of your mind, of your heart, of your soul, which we know, like we know this, y'all. We know that when we start to do this work, we come into even greater alignment with our purpose.

[00:06:45] So if there's anything that speaks to you, definitely click the links. We have the Academy of Breath coming up at the end of June, June 29th is when we officially start. So definitely, definitely, definitely check that out if you're wanting to become a breathwork and meditation cert certified teacher. And I think that that's it.

Interview

[00:07:20] krystal: Okay, well, well, I think we can come back to that. But you used to live in San Diego. We're Foh San Diegos.

[00:07:49] That's where I met my husband. That's really I went there after high school. And so that was like really all that I had ever known and. Moved to Austin officially about a year ago, and it has been such a whirlwind and such a like beautiful new season. And I know that one of the reasons I wanna talk to you, and I have so many things that I wanna ask you, but just the seasonality of our life.

[00:08:20] krystal: Oh, thank you. That is so kind. I will receive that today. Thank you.

[00:08:45] I'm like, let's get to the heart of it. I would love for you to just share a little bit more of your background and where you started to where you are now.

[00:09:19] And it took me to Boise, Idaho, where I got into working in radio and broadcasting. I went to college and it's where I got to know my dad for the first time in my whole life. He wasn't a part of my life until I was 17. And so while I was there, I had an opportunity to either sign with a radio station for three years or.

[00:10:00] And I knew that this was my window to pursue and I didn't know how it was gonna work out, but I just got in my car, saved out three months of money and moved. And that kind of landed me in the entertainment industry where I was pursuing acting and modeling, but nothing ever felt right. And I fell into this huge depression.

[00:10:40] And I just wanted to be me. So I. Was sharing with my girlfriend, just kind of this depression that I was in and I was so like embarrassed and ashamed that I hadn't, you know, booked a gig that I didn't even wanna go home and visit my family in Idaho cause I felt like I had to prove something. And so she goes.

[00:11:20] And right then, I just made a promise to myself that I was gonna start taking care of my body. And so I came out of that class and I just made a plan to start working out, cut out alcohol, start juicing, and I committed to that and succeeded. People started noticing and I started sharing my results, training people in their living rooms, training people at my apartment, gym, and I just kind of decided that I wanted to.

[00:12:06] They were everything. They brought the energy, they would make me cry, they would make me laugh. They would make me like feel so motivated and so empowered. And I was like, I wanna be that. I wanna be like a source of inspiration. So my boyfriend at the time and I decided to move to San Diego in October, 2014 so I could pursue fitness full-time and I have never looked back.

[00:12:33] ava: I, I mean, I just love. First and foremost, I think it's so funny, you came from Montana, which I feel like is like the place that now everybody wants to go. I like, I watch Yellowstone and Night every single time that there's a nature scene. I'm like, pretty, I wanna be my boyfriend's. Like, are you gonna say that every time?

[00:13:09] Because for me, like you were already doing your thing down in San Diego when I first found you. And what I think is interesting, and I think this will also go into like the second, the second season of your life is The identity piece and how we as individuals are, have these projections put upon us of who we're supposed to be, what we're supposed to like, what we're supposed to aim for and try and achieve.

[00:14:11] But I know that there was also a very blatant projection of who you were come you being on reality tv. But the reality is like all of us have those projections. You had a very like real in your face example of it, of someone telling you who you were. But we all have that from our upbringings, from society, from media, and so I'm just so curious.

[00:14:38] krystal: Ooh, it's so good. I actually haven't, hadn't really clicked that that really was an identity thing because so much I've, everyone knows my story of like being on the Bachelor and being portrayed as the villain and overcoming that, and. But I hadn't really thought that I had actually gone through that identity prior to.

[00:15:00] ava: I told you, I told you.

[00:15:23] So it was always, I'm always just visualizing who I wanna be, like what I wanna do. If I could do anything, like just dreaming in my workouts. And I really feel that combining the mindset with the physical aspect is what allowed me to really. Move through that and like reclaim who the fuck I was over and over and over again.

[00:16:02] ava: Mm. Yeah. You know, we as women specifically go through these different. Seasons of our life, and in each season there's a different projection of who we're supposed to be. And so like even I was listening to another podcast that you were on I forgot what, what it was, but it was a recent one. And you had shared how like during breastfeeding, whenever your, your baby would cry, everyone would just hand hand her over to you versus oh, let me, Hand her over to Miles or let me hand her over to someone else.

[00:17:02] So multi-dimensional and there's so many different flavors to who you are and textures of who you are as a human being. And so I love that you've found that through movement and, and through your body because I think that people can often just see fitness or our, like the physical, the physical movement that we do as a means to an end to our health.

[00:17:29] krystal: Oh my gosh. It real, it really is the key to just unlocking everything within, you know? And one thing I wanna say is I had a conversation a couple days ago, I interviewed a grief expert. To come onto the podcast and we talked about the postpartum season and I'm like, there is grief there, is there not? And sh absolutely, she agreed to.

[00:18:09] No one is validating our feelings. This is temporary or you'll get through this, or this is, it just is what it is. So we can't express. The unfairness, the resentment, we can't express that, the feelings that we're going through. And so they build and build and we swallow them.

[00:18:34] You shut down. .

[00:18:58] And it all just was like building up inside of me to that point where there was volcanic eruption. Even as painful as it is in that moment, I'm so happy that I got to that point because it just reaffirms how important these simple things that we do on a daily basis are for our overall wellbeing, for our self-expression, for our confidence, for our happiness, for our fulfillment.

[00:19:23] krystal: No, and you know what? Anger is actually a very healthy emotion. And the reason why, like we can, the, one of the main reasons why we get angry or like erupt is one of two reasons. One, Our boundary is being violated, or two, our need isn't being met. So like when I read that, which was recently, I was like, huh, okay, that's actually really helpful because I'm not vocalizing what I need.

[00:20:13] ava: Mm-hmm. 100%.

[00:20:17] ava: it literally will.

[00:20:21] ava: Yeah. Or Actual sickness too, you know,

[00:20:26] ava: so I wanna go back to what you shared around like the identity work and just like the reclamation of who you are and finding your authentic self. With movement, with affirmation. With visualization. Can you, for my listeners, just share a little bit what that looks like?

[00:20:53] krystal: I mean, really, I'm just like, while I'm exercising, I'm visualizing like my dreams coming true. a long time. That was me being on stage speaking and just seeing all the people in the audience with their lighters, seeing them crying, know the song that's playing and I'm there, I, I know what I'm wearing.

[00:21:29] Strength and flexibility, but strength train and it is it for me. And if I'm running on the treadmill or I'm walking, I'm tapping on my chest, I'm tapping on my meridian points, especially while thinking about something that's stressing me out. I'm tapping because Are you familiar with EF f t.

[00:22:03] krystal: Yeah, so a F T stands for Emotional Freedom Technique, and it's just tapping on meridian points in your body. , it's like acupuncture, but without the needles, like it's acupressure. It's tapping on your meridians because your meridians are your energy centers that link to all the organs in your body.

[00:22:48] To explore next week. I'm so excited about, I'll text you and let you know how it goes. But you're, you're tapping and what's important is you wanna set up , a statement and feel as you're tapping through your eight meridian points, crown of the head side of the eyes in front of the eyebrows, under the under eye, under nose, chin, collarbone, rib.

[00:23:31] We know that. So we're actually like recalibrating your nervous system and so that when you have that thought, again, it's not as powerful so that there's like many layers to tapping. But that's kind of the gist of it.

[00:23:53] krystal: I haven't merged them breath work with tapping, but I do it with fitness and tapping. Yeah. And it is very powerful, but breath work will be good. Do you, do you tone when you br when you do breath work?

[00:24:28] Very similar to, very similar to tapping. I, the way that I see it is like, The more intense breath work that we would do toning in, for example, is like the spark that li that lights the match, but the everyday breathwork practices is what like actually keeps the flame stoked. And so that's kind of how I see breathwork.

[00:24:50] krystal: Oh, you know, I've only done breath work with toning, so I've never really done it out like separately. But toning is just basically when you. Yell

[00:25:01] krystal: like really loud and you kick your arms and like you punch and you like shake your head and you're just like moving the energy out of the body. It has been like, it like will really make you feel like high.

[00:25:35] ava: Yeah, it's crazy and I think it's so powerful. I'm so excited that like more and more people are paying attention to breath work and I feel like. It just is so cool because like I said, these are the simple things where I think so often we're searching for something outside of ourselves and like , get the, you know, get the fancy treatment or buy the fancy purse or whatever, invest in whatever it might be in hopes that it will create a feeling.

[00:26:27] krystal: And is, yeah. What does Wayne Dyer say? Change the way you see things and the things you see will change. You are the key,

[00:26:36] krystal: mindset, your perception, that is the key.

[00:27:12] Or they're realizing that the relationship that they're in is not it. And I've seen a lot of friends lately break off engagements, friends getting divorces. I get people telling me all the time I hearing your story of realize that like maybe the relationship I'm in isn't the right relationship for me, and I'd just love to hear your thoughts on.

[00:28:02] krystal: I think the best way I could answer that is that on my wedding day I had a really powerful experience where I did a meditation and just kind of saw my life splitting in two paths. And I saw where my life was gonna go. Continuing in this marriage of someone I met on TV was a very public relationship.

[00:29:22] That relationship really wasn't in alignment with where I wanted my life to go. It had kind of pulled me off of purpose

[00:29:31] krystal: and as much love and respect as my ex and I have for each other and had a mutual decision to separate. It was still really hard because even though you both decided to separate at one point you were best friends.

[00:30:15] Oh my gosh. You know what's crazy is I was actually supposed to be gone in February, the entire month in Bali. The entire month I was supposed to be gone.

[00:30:47] And we were in by December, like, I don't know if we're supposed to be together, let's separate, let's move out of our house together. And I went on this solo trip by myself, but I was supposed to go to Bali same time as you.

[00:31:03] ava: When did you 2019, June. Okay. I got married April,

[00:31:17] I'm gonna go to Bali and like, eat, love, pray, and think about it. My sister's no, handle your shit now and then go to Bali. , don't leave for Bali with this over your head and have to come back and deal with it. And I'm so glad my sister gave me that advice because who knows , what would've happened?

[00:32:04] We gotta like get in the body. We gotta get quiet alone time and. We also gotta like trust that like the universe has our back, right? You like Gabby Bernstein. There is a greater plan than we can ever even imagine that it's happening for us. And sometimes if we just gotta like surrender, lean in and let go and let God take you where he is gonna take you.

[00:32:57] Everyone would hope for, but wasn't actually true to you. And I mean, I went through my own awakening of that as well too. When I was living, I mean, I was living in wind and sea and had a, a, the view of the ocean from my office and was miserable. I was so sad. I felt like I couldn't even enjoy what I had created.

[00:33:40] Whether it's moving or quitting a job and transitioning, like a lot of people that listen to those podcasts wanna become entrepreneurs. It, it's, it's very easy in these big, big decisions for us to ask our friends, to ask our family members, to ask our partners, to ask everybody else besides ourselves, what's right and what's not.

[00:34:15] krystal: Yes. And one thing too is that people are, I know I've gone through seasons where it's hard to trust myself because I said I was gonna do something and I keep not doing it. So, where's that? Like self-esteem and that confidence there and me making decisions. So it's pray to the guy upstairs, pray to a higher power.

[00:34:55] So I've been like really against it and kind of slowly finding my way back.

[00:35:18] As spirits. And it's like all this stuff that we get caught up in like really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, but it can feel so ugh, oh my God. Like Gucci or a ring is sold out in my size. I miss the sale. You know what I mean? Like we can get like so tripped up over the little things, but when I think we go through like the, the, the hard seasons in life, it can really wake us up to our power and like where we stand.

[00:36:21] krystal: Literally.

[00:36:45] And I'm curious if this is something that you've had to cultivate over time and if there were ever any. Moments or seasons of your life where you did get really caught up in it and had to pull yourself back? Because I know that again, there's so many people here that listen to this podcast that have their own businesses, like it's just milestone after milestone after milestone.

[00:37:22] krystal: Yeah. Well, I'll tell you a recent one, like the postpartum season, that identity was so much more challenging than I could have ever imagined. Like breastfeeding was easy for me. She. Was sleeping through the night at five weeks old. So I didn't have any of those challenges. But it was a lot with my work because I work, like part of me, I guess, has always felt a little split between being this motivational coach, which is what I did before going on reality TV and then be being this like brand influencer.

[00:38:21] I didn't feel that I could, I had the container to hold other clients, so I then got really big into. The influencer space and all those opportunities that come with, because motherhood is a huge industry. And you know, I did that for a year and I, a year and a half and I really loved it because I was making, it was, the money was easier than in coaching.

[00:39:07] Trying to push L T K and trying to push other products. I'm gonna sell my own coaching cuz I know I can help women reframe and shift and feel empowered, which is the whole premise of why I started my coaching business initially was to be that, that role model I wish my mom had. When I was a child, when she was a single mom of five in Montana, like someone I wish she had with resources and support and tools.

[00:39:53] So yeah, I've recently kind of like have been in that, but you're right, like there are a lot of opportunities that can come our way and I think we just need to be able to have that daily space where we can discern if this is right for us, or if this is just, you know, a shiny object distracting us away from the path we're meant to walk.

[00:40:36] There's more than what. Your current reality is, and so I'm so grateful for it, but at what point is it just too much information 24 7 that we need to take a step back and ask ourselves what is actually true to me? Not just all the different options available.

[00:41:14] Like our nervous system wasn't built for the level of exposure that we are now. And the larger your exposure, the more I think that impacts your nervous system. And that's why it's so important that it is a daily practice. And I think sometimes we can. Think that meditation is like a massage. You know, it's like something that would be nice to do, but it really is like, are you in your own body?

[00:41:53] ava: Yes. Yeah, I mean, mic drop on that and, and I love that this has. Really like catalyzed into you creating reign over your life and deciding that is the decision that I wanna go. This is where I can be of greatest service to this world, be of greatest service to my authenticity, be of greatest service to the legacy that I wanna live.

[00:42:32] krystal: The, there's a lot. And then my fiance's in a tech startup as well, which is like currently like fundraising right now. So we are a busy family, but thank you. You know, like I initially started out with total body guide creating at-home workout programs. That was my dream. Like it was my dream years before I got in reality tv.

[00:43:09] And so having to really get quiet and tune into what I wanted, it really was a moment where I was like, Well, this is my rock bottom, so I have nowhere to go but up, right? It was turning into my fitness. It was visualizing my dream coming true and being so laser focused that nothing was gonna stop me making that happen.

[00:43:52] I was always doing Facebook lives and doing mindset and meditation. And what I found was that yes, people wanted to work out. So they would come in initially thinking they wanted to lose weight and they wanted to tone. But where I really hooked 'em was through the mindset work, through the motivation, through the mindset, through the.

[00:44:35] All the areas of their life because our mindset is so key to. How we think about showing up for our workouts, how we treat our bodies. It all is in our mind and our subconscious programming, our heart. And so that's really what the concept for Reno your life was. And I have some like wild stories that maybe for another time, like I will tell you about all around that.

[00:45:11] ava: That's so epic and. You're so right. It's like I feel like all of this work inside of Reign Over your Life is that's that next piece that people are looking for once they start getting tapped into their body. Like for me, yoga was that entry point. But after a certain point, I was like, there's something more here.

[00:45:48] It's the code to fulfillment to love, and it's just it like, I love what you're doing and I'm so excited for all of these different pieces to keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger because to me, like I. I fully like account all of my success to this work. Like the strategy is cool, but this is the strategy that works the most, you know?

[00:46:32] That the public sees like the hotspots. And like when I went on the Bachelor, like I had just started my like trauma recovery work like four months before. And so I'm going in four months into this work and I'm like, oh my God, I'm healed.

[00:46:48] krystal: this. Holy shit. I was so activated in this process.

[00:47:14] Like it was there. I just wasn't aware of it. And so I gotta use that mirror as feedback and all like the messages and comments and like death threats that were coming through. As a coach, I was trained to always take feedback to grow. And so I'd read 'em, I'd read every single one, and I'd respond back to people.

[00:47:46] And I'm so grateful that I, I knew to do that because otherwise I think I would've had a really hard time. I. Don't think I would've launched Total Body Guide or Reign over your Life. Like I don't know where my life would have ended up. Because I will tell you, like coming off of that show, like right when I exited, I was in Paris and I was looking at that Eiffel Tower and I'm talking to, to a member there.

[00:48:34] What my future would look like and my dreams would never come true. And like I went through that whole shame cycle and I had to pull myself out. And it was a dark six months, but I sought the work with a mentor. I began visualizing. I focused on my fitness, and I set a goal to go after my biggest dream.

[00:49:04] ava: I'm so happy that you chose that as an opportunity to rise into the woman that you are today, because you're so right. It's like there's that turning point for people where something really, really hard happens and it's do I go down with this? Do I let this consume me or do I choose to rise above it?

[00:49:50] And I feel like it really is a choice that we have to make and it's not easy and it takes work and it takes discipline, which I feel like are like the unsexy things that sometimes we don't want to admit we have to do. But it's so worth it because I, I, I guarantee right now, like if you look at your life, it's probably so much bigger than you would've ever imagined.

[00:50:30] And here I end up Off reality TV as a fitness coach. And so it's like wild, like how it all came 360. And I, I knew in my heart where I was going, but I didn't focus on the how, because again, like there's a bigger hand at play guiding us that loves us and like, is ushering us in the right direction?

[00:50:57] ava: Would you say that that's the biggest message that you have taken away from your journey over the past seven, eight years?

[00:51:31] And you know, like when you're working out, like when you like do a solid, great workout, like you probably wanna eat healthier after that workout, right?

[00:51:49] And I think that I, that's my biggest passion to when I'm working with clients, is just to help them have that little twist of Your body's precious and this is how you're having experiencing this life. Let's support it and let's start thinking. In changing the subconscious beliefs ar that you like people have with their resistance around physical movement or eating or drinking or watching TV or like anger, whatever healthier, unhealthy habits you have let's just like unravel and unpack 'em and make sure that your belief system is upgraded to where you, to who you want to be in the future, not who you've been in the past, not what has happened to you, but like where you wanna go.

[00:53:03] And when I realized the power of belief and really aligning our beliefs with who we want to be, who we see ourselves as, who we know we are, that that would influence how we feel about ourselves and that the feelings that we would feel would influence how we actually act.

[00:53:42] It's your job and your responsibility to take care of yourself. And when we're taking care of ourself, when we're filling our own cup, then we can show up and give without expecting anything in return in those relationships. Like it's just, So much healthier. So much healthier.

[00:54:25] You know, I have always really respected and admired you and have seen even in the quote unquote villain era, I was like, you're f you're awesome. I love you and I, I never saw you as a villain. I saw you as just an epic human being. And. So I just am so grateful that you came on the podcast to share your energy.

[00:54:54] krystal: Thank you so much. You can find me, coach Crystal underscore on all the socials, YouTube, Instagram, and then at Rain Over your Life. Rain, R e i g n, like the, when you put the crown on your head. And on Instagram as well. And for those who are interested in doing any work with me, I am bringing back my total body guide programs for the first time in two years.

[00:55:31] ava: Amazing. Thank you so much.