Serena talks with Leon Teh, Transformative Coach & Facilitator and Self-Love Speaker & Advocate, about the importance of self-love & self -care, the challenges of listening to our heart's desires, tools to come back to work and to life.

You can find more about Leon here:

• Leon's Linkedin
• Leon's website
• Leon's youtube channel

So my invitation for you is bring all of you.

All of you is welcome, whatever questions that you want to ask that

is meaningful for yourself and by that as well, it will, chances are,

it will be meaningful for someone else listening in your social circle.

today?

Our guest is Leon tech, coach facilitator, creator of the program.

My art whispers.

And we are discussing self-love and self care.

How can we listen to heart?

And what are the tools that we can use to coming back to work

what does I'm back means to me,

for me, it's about coming back to the present moment.

As for myself, I told you earlier, just now my ego took over and

I was rushing and I was running the wrong direction, full speed.

And then I realized, huh, this is not where I want to go.

so that's an example of, I'm not here.

I'm not fully here, I'm here, but my head is bringing me on a trip somewhere else.

And to realize that and to come home to.

Myself come home to the present moment.

All of a sudden all the answers are here.

I don't need to look outside.

I don't need to add on more knowledge, more information to make it look

nicer or better being here right here.

Right now.

It's enough.

You are saying that your head is bringing you in some

direction by yourself is different.

Let's say.

So I'm wondering what is the connection with your head

yourself, your body, your soul.

That's a good question.

What's the hit saying, what does the heart say?

What does the body say?

And if you go the level deeper, what does your soul say?

And yeah.

Also different context in terms of who are we in relationship, others,

all of that as well, in terms of self to simplify it for myself.

The icon of me between the hit and the heart.

What do I think I need versus what's true for me, which is why my

program is called my heart whisper because the heart hit whisper.

So it's quiet.

The hit thinks is it's loud and there are noises from outside as well.

Other people's noise, society's noise, which is loud as well.

And it can be overbearing and covers the voice of our hearts.

So I'm back also means for me, I'm back in my heart, I'm tuned into my heart.

How can you listen to those whispers with all this

noise around you and inside

One is to be present with it, to notice, and the

quality of presence matters.

Because it's a whisper and there's so much noise going on.

And to have the quality of presence that is able to pick it up, requires

awareness, requires consciousness.

And when you pick it up, the flavor of it you will know is different from the heat.

Somehow it's so clear.

This is the heart speaking.

The hit will ask, is this what the heart says?

What does it mean?

All of that?

That's the hate talking

but how can you follow this intuition and believe that is truth

because sometimes it's hard to see, okay.

I'm feeling.

These things, but it's not really concrete.

So how can you follow your intuition and your connection with the heart when

it's not concrete, it's not tangible.

How can you believe it?

For me?

It's fairly tangible.

Cause this is a felt feeling that, yes, this is.

At the same time, I don't fully always just go with whatever the heart says,

listen to the heart, by follow the heart.

By bring my, the saying is follow your heart by bring your hit with you.

Some people say I don't like this job.

And then they believe it's the hit the heart speaking, but it's the hit speaking.

And then they quit their job.

And then, okay.

What now?

So the hit is important, not to dis discount it, but to tune into

what's true for you and you are at the same time you're asking,

how do I know what's true for me?

Is that correct?

Yes.

Have you ever had an experience?

What you call it, intuition that this is true for you.

You're nodding.

And what happens when that happens?

I had the experience of both sides.

So listening to I'm calling that intuition maybe is not correct.

Listen to my heart, maybe it's more correct.

And.

I have also experienced where I hear my heart, but I didn't listen to my

heart, meaning that I didn't follow what my heart was saying to me.

Because again, for society, for standards, for things that are in my head It's

difficult to recognize the truthfulness of what my heart is saying sometimes.

And it's still easy for me to say, oh, maybe it's not so important for me.

So you felt it, the heart is speaking, but in the hit.

Maybe it's not true.

Yes.

And you say it's this, it might not even be your voice it's society's

conditioning and all of that.

So it's not even you speaking, it's the conditioning speaking.

Yes.

For me.

Yes.

Which is why the work that we do is so important.

That's people who develop others.

One of the core things that we support them with is to break pattern.

Not just any patterns, because some patterns serve them, serve the individual,

but some patterns used to serve them in the past, whether they're a young

kid and they're a good boy, they listen to mom and dad so that they don't get

beaten up or the king comes out oh, I better be a good boy, good girl.

And that served them in the past, but now they're their own person.

They're supposed to make their own decisions.

They can.

Sometimes that gets into the way, oh I don't want to do that because

what if I'm not a good boy, if I'm not a good girl and that

limits our lives limits our truth.

The expression of our truth and our work is to either dissolve that or let that

go so that we live an unconditional life.

We can choose from our truth.

Every single point of time, easy to say, simple concept

requires dedication

and in a way, a lot of people believe desires are bad.

Some people say, oh, we shouldn't want.

It depends.

The quality of one thing is different.

There is the ego want, and there's the heart's true desire.

I really want this.

I want to enjoy life.

I wanna celebrate life, all of this.

So to be able to distinguish between the difference of the

one thing is very important, because 1, 1, 1 thing expands you.

The other one thing is contract.

Ah, I'm when I get it, I'll be happy for a while.

And then I'll be miserable.

What I'm referring to is the heart.

Whisper is the heart SW thing.

What is true for you?

What calls you and to pay attention to that?

Because when we pay attention,

that journey that will unfold our own hero journey.

Cuz if you want something and we don't have it yet, there's something

that's getting into the way of.

And to explore, huh?

What is it?

That's getting into my way.

What about me?

That's not resonating with what I want yet is very valuable.

Cause the vibrational match between who we are and the life that we want might

differ at different stages of our lives.

When I was younger, I wanted to be a pit coach.

I looked back wasn't ready.

I was 19.

And.

I would be ready to charge at a certain amount, but not at

the amount I'm charging now.

So to notice at different stages, where are we and to be gentle with ourselves,

ISS also very important for our journey.

How can we be gentle with our staff?

Ah,

I'm also a practitioner of points of.

The phototherapy tool you've expensive before.

Yes.

And one of the core, I wouldn't say teaching, this is when we set the

foundation for the room, the agreement in the room, what we share is no

judgment, no expectations, not of others.

And also even not on our.

And for some people, and that's a tall ask.

We are judgment machines.

Good, bad.

It's a machine gun, but to catch that and be okay with putting judgment, aside

from the beginning to just catch it is valuable to notice that, oh, I'm judging.

And to have the capacity to put it aside and say, okay, what if I just stay with

what is for a little bit longer, rather than let my hit talk and judge it,

or even judge myself not good enough that, and some people say things that would need

to be CED on your podcast to themselves.

Yeah.

I know that

That's one part for myself.

I also added no comparison cause that's one, one of the flavors of

judgment and expectations mixed together, Gaza comparing with others.

They have, I don't have puts us in a lack.

It separates us.

I'm doing all these things.

still for myself.

This is really connected to the notion of self love . And for the

Western society, sometimes self love is connected to a farmer.

Narcissistic ego or something like that.

So I'm wondering what is self love for you?

Why it's so important.

And how can we learn step by step to love our self of ourself a little bit more.

That's a good question.

The past week, this is new for me.

So I'm, this is the first time I'm articulating this.

What the best way to love ourselves might be to dissolve ourselves or rather not

self, but the word you mentioned, ego

cause the qualities, the true pillars are self love.

You've seen the video.

First pillar is truth.

Second pillar is being loving.

You put them together.

You have the compassionate truth.

That means you are able to be in the present, live in the present, not

judge the present, accept the present.

Dare I say, embrace and love.

The present.

Love yourself right here.

Right now.

No need to change as you are.

And doesn't mean that you don't change.

You are always expanding unless something gets into the way.

So there's that part about truth.

Love that good part is devotion choosing yourself, choosing everything

that serves you, letting go of patterns that no longer serve you or

the patterns that we have outgrown.

To be gentle with ourselves.

Because it's not easy to change for many people.

This is who I am.

They cling onto it so hard.

Don't take it away from me.

It's painful.

So much resistance, so much holding on so much contraction.

the opposite

expansion flow.

Ah,

you can breathe, get, enjoy your life, get enjoy yourself.

It's strange how many people cannot stand being with themselves and myself included.

I would say when I was younger, I hated myself and I don't hate,

it's a strong word, but hate is the strong emotion resentment in my life.

bitter so much pain, guess that's also what caught me into the coaching journey.

to notice that and to be curious, ah, how come there is pain,

how come there is resistance?

How come this frustration, stress, all of this what's going on.

And as we become more conscious and we become more curious,

life becomes easier and

easier.

When I was 13 or 14, I wanted to end my life.

That was how painful it was.

I was sitting in my bedroom every time my heart beat the blood that

caused through my veins felt like there were needles piercing my body.

There was so much hate in my life.

I was, you look at me now and people say, Leon I can't picture you angry.

but back then when I was 10 years old, young boy, I was punching walls

until my knuckles were bleeding.

It was not just that, that one day it was an accumulation of pain

and anger and resistance and all

of that.

And when I was about to make the final cut, something stopped me.

So I heard an old man laughing in my room.

I looked around.

There was no one.

And after the laughter start and I also stopped cutting.

The voice said you haven't lived yet young man.

And I just fell asleep.

So in a way, a part of me that wanted to go has left that day.

So I let the part of me that wanted to die.

And the other part of me was curious.

So if I have died and that's all to it, What if I go all in from

now what does it mean to live life?

Why am I born?

Can we just to experience pain and anger in all of this?

Why am I here?

So that, that triggered the exploration.

And in terms of coaching, I hear voices.

So I was doing my English homework in my classroom 14 years old.

This is, and I put down my pen.

I raised my head.

I told myself, I didn't know where it came from.

I'm going to become a coach.

the angels are saying, oh, and the light was shining off that.

And then in a while I come back to my body, I'm like, what the heck is a coach?

And this was, I think, 10 years ago, 11 years ago.

So back then coaching was new.

I didn't know what coaching was, but somehow the word coaching came to my head.

I knew it wasn't a sports coach.

So when I went home, I Google, ah, coaching is about

developing people instantly.

My heart said, yes, this is it.

And the entire path from when I was 14 to this year.

I don't know how old I am this year, 25, 26.

I really don't know and the path has been straight, but also winding my eyes were

always kept on to coaching, but regardless of the path, that was still the path.

So there were detours, but maybe the detours were in detours.

They were part of the journey.

Only when my hit comes in and calls them detours.

That's a judgment resisting that this is part of the path part of the journey.

So maybe detours are not detours.

That's why I'm learning..

It's really resonating with me.

And

it's hard for me to not cry right now.

Crying is a loud.

Yes.

And I'm going to share.

Also something personal.

I had a bad injury at work years ago.

And I risked to die.

And I was alone on the floor with a lot of pain and I I thought,

oh, I'm going to die now.

And I was not sad.

I was relieved because so much pain, so much sorrow, so many problems.

And I said to myself, okay, but I'm happy today.

But then again, I was on the floor a man came and it was winter and put his

coat on me because it was freezing.

And it was like, I was returning to life because I said to myself, oh,

there is kindness in this world.

And I want to.

Feel, and I want to live to feel this kindness.

Yes.

And for example, when we first met.

During a workshop I was so impressed by your kindness and your life.

And I want to live for this life that I can see in people this kindness.

May

What about your own kindness?

Again, for me, it's link to self love meaning that I'm still in

a journey of discovering that um, being kind with myself it's important.

That.

Even if I'm not perfect or even if I'm not meeting or

I deserve to live and to be alive and I deserve to be here.

But it's still a journey for me.

Some days I'm feeling like an alien that is, not in the right place in the

Are you aware why or how come that's the feeling?

Again it's for me, it's believe in my heart and be truthful

to my heart, even if it's not to the expectation of society or.

Expectation from other people.

In a way, that's us being kind to ourselves.

Cause if not, then we have to fit a certain mold.

We cannot allow ourselves to be ourselves.

You have to be a certain way to be different, to be loved, to be accepted.

How painful is that?

In your video about self love.

You said something that really resonates with me.

You said that when you are trying to fit you are cutting yourself, cutting

some part of yourself because otherwise you will not fit in some standards.

Yeah.

And.

And I'm, it's really resonating with me, especially when I

started to come back to work.

After my injury, my identity was changed.

It was really deep experience for me, really in connection

with myself, with my body.

With my pain, because I'm still struggling with chronic pain.

It's strange to have chronic pain because in a sense, pain is

putting you back in the present.

You need to be present in yourself because pain is reminding

you that you have a body.

You are here, you are feeling something it's hard for you to escape.

Yes.

This, it is one way, but it's not the only way.

No, it's not

the only way.

But it helped me in a strange way to be present more, be more present to myself.

That's good to be aware of that.

And again, tell the voice.

Thank you for sharing.

And you can come back

yes.

I was saying that when I came back to work I was not able to fit anymore.

And I was struggling because work didn't had meaning for me anymore.

Not because I didn't love my work.

I love my work, but because I was in another path for myself.

Near death experience is I would say rather transformative.

You hear the stories, some different people.

I'm not telling people to go and experience the, that near that accent.

No, please do it.

Don't do it.

Don't try it.

Don gentle and loving with yourself.

But what it does as well is to put things in

perspective.

That in this body, we have a certain number of years or hours

or minutes or seconds here, and to not take life for granted.

And I guess that's where the phrase is useful to die before

you die is to contemplate it.

what does it mean to live?

What does it mean to not live to die?

Is there such thing as death?

And it says these questions unfold.

The relationship we have with death becomes very different, no longer.

It becomes something to be afraid of.

We see some people so afraid of dying.

Contract that you should, oh,

I have to protect myself.

Ah, Ah,

and in some places of the world, there is injustice

wars oppression.

I'm not

sure slavery is, but it seemed like slavery for some areas

there's cruelty.

In some

way, the mind has probably taken over and just ran with it.

Cuz those actions are devoid of

the heart.

The heart does not wishes.

War

does not wishes, suffering upon others.

Cruel pain.

Life

flows through it.

It's so important to start from our core take care of ourselves and

the people around us and the society that we live in and the nation we

live in and then extend it to the

world.

Do you think it's possible to change the world a little bit?

I would say the world is constantly changing, so there's

no need for us to change it.

Cause every single second, everything is changing in this conversation.

I was different when I first started the call with you and now I'm in a different.

And you are in a different state too.

So whether we want it or not, the world is changing.

And maybe in that

sense,

rather than trying to force the world into our mode.

Is to tune into the flow of the world as all, but it's the flow of life.

What is life?

One thing that is one thing to emerge through our lives.

And we become part of life, a force for life.

For

love.

That's where

the magic, the beauty happens.

In my opinion,

you are doing work on.

Phototherapy,

Is it, I use the phototherapy tools in my coaching.

I don't do therapy.

Okay.

Okay.

And I also use it in my facilitation.

Why do you think a photo could be so powerful to

discover some truth about ourself?

One way?

Is it shut off the mind?

The heart counts in and play, oh, what is this photo?

What am I seeing?

What is this really about?

Why am I not yet seeing, oh, it's colorful.

It's not colorful.

It's monochromatic.

It's black and white.

Oh, there's this really cool texture in the photo.

I wish I could touch it.

Huh?

How would it smell in that photo?

And all of a sudden we are away from the thinking mind and

we're present with the photo.

When we're present with our topic as well and the photo

and we connect them together,

it just

works.

We connect the dots for ourselves.

Our hearts are open

and for some people, they only experience it in that brief moment.

But in that brief moment, they see what they need to.

And they can implement structures that support their hearts after

some people, their hearts open, and then they get to experience that

for a sustained period of time.

So

It's different for everyone.

And for some people, they don't want to look at a photo.

They might even say, I don't want to be part of this and walk out.

I haven't had that experience yet, but I've heard of people

who walk out from training rooms.

And if that's the case, we meet them where they are.

Cause the alternative is we don't accept them where they are.

That's not very loving either.

Do you have any.

Advice or suggestion for people that are in a journey of self love.

If you are on the journey, I would say, congratulations,

be gentle with yourself.

As you are exploring your flavor of self love, to explore the distinctions

of what is really self love.

And one is not self love for you.

Congratulations for being brave on taking up this journey.

Cause it takes guts

cause to embody the first pillar itself in the conversation with myself

movement, the first pillar is truth.

Takes guts to look at the truth.

It's easier to ignore something to avoid something.

No, not looking at that.

And at different times that may be useful, cuz we don't want to overload

someone with what they're not ready for.

That's why gentleness is so important.

Step by step at your own pace.

And.

To look at it.

It might be scary.

It might be painful.

It might be all of the things that people don't like to feel at that point, be

gentle throughout the whole journey, be

gentle.

And there might be times that call for strength

and there might be times that call for wisdom.

Knowledge wisdom and different types, different things are required.

And we gentle with yourself as you are exploring those qualities.

Some qualities we may have locked away.

We have them.

It's just not, we didn't allow them to come out.

We didn't develop them, but it's within this.

And the exploration might be to let that be expressed.

For myself, I locked away masculinity and all the other

beautiful gifts of masculinity, assertiveness strength, all of it.

And it's a beautiful journey to reclaim it.

So yes,

at your own pace, cuz we don't want people to.

It's like their first day in the gym and go lift a 50 kilogram dumbbell.

They gonna hurt themselves.

start with whichever suits them, whichever wraps, whichever sets

and

build strength until they're self love.

Muscle becomes automatic.

So unwavering that, oh, it's the default.

Anything else that you would like to share with our listeners?

Anything else?

I feel I am complete for this session.

How about yourself?

Is there anything else you would like to add on?

No,

it was really beautiful.

And deep and,

and I'm really grateful.

You made a beautiful gift for me

and you gave me the gift of being here with you.

So thank you as well.

Thank you for listening to this episode.

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