Episode Description

Selfishness can actually make you stronger. In this Saddle Up episode of Doing Life Different, Lesa Koski unpacks key takeaways from her conversation with Val Jones, author of The Selfish Year and host of The Selfish Woman Podcast. Discover why being “selfish” is not only healthy but necessary for women over 40 navigating midlife, faith, and personal reinvention.

Lesa shares insights about people-pleasing, authenticity, and how small micro-steps of courage help women thrive after divorce, in midlife, and beyond. If you’ve ever felt guilty about putting yourself first, this episode will inspire you to see selfishness as a gift that leads to impact, joy, and freedom.

Keywords: selfishness as a superpower, women over 40, midlife reinvention, people-pleasing, The Selfish Year

Timestamps

(00:00) Introduction to the Saddle Up segment

(01:15) Why selfishness isn’t bad—it’s powerful for women

(03:05) Key insight from Val Jones: helping more by putting yourself first

(05:12) How faith and authenticity connect to serving others

(07:00) The people-pleasing trap: superpower or downfall

(09:08) Using micro steps of courage to rewire old patterns

(11:22) Lesa’s real-life story of speaking truth with her daughters

(13:00) Call to action: take Val’s free quiz and reclaim your power

Key Takeaways

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• Prioritizing yourself can actually expand your impact on others.
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• Faith and authenticity are essential for living with purpose.
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• People-pleasing can be both a strength and a barrier—awareness is key.
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• Micro steps of courage rewire old patterns and build confidence.
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• Selfishness, reframed, is a path to freedom, joy, and deeper service.
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Guest Bio

Val Jones is a women’s empowerment coach, podcast host, and author of The Selfish Year. She helps women move past guilt, people-pleasing, and perfectionism to embrace their authentic selves. Val hosts The Selfish Woman Podcast and offers resources and retreats designed to empower women in midlife and beyond.

Resource Links

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• Valerie Jones Website & Coaching: https://valeriejones.ca/
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• The Selfish Year (Book): https://valeriejones.ca/theselfishyear
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• The Selfish Woman Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-selfish-woman/id1598491354
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• Free “Queen of Your Life” Assessment: [insert link]
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• Connect with Lesa Koski → https://lesakoski.com
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Tags/Keywords

selfishness as a superpower, the selfish year Val Jones, selfish woman podcast, midlife reinvention, people pleasing women, women over 40 podcast, self-care for women, faith and authenticity, women empowerment coaching, doing life different podcast, Lesa Koski

Welcome to the Saddle Love segment of doing life different.

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So this is the Thursday

episode that just gets some key

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takeaways from Tuesday's episode.

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It's just a quick hit.

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This is what I want you to know.

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If you are any woman, you need to go

back and listen to Tuesday's episode.

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It is so good and it.

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It's a conversation with Val

Jones, who's just written a

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book called The Selfish Year.

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She has the Selfish Woman

Podcast, and it's so insightful.

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We sit down and have a really

sometimes uncomfortable conversation

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about why we feel selfish, and

here are the key takeaways.

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One is she found, Val found that

when she took her selfish year, she

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ended up having more of an impact

and helping more people than she ever

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has when she hasn't been selfish.

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So let's start looking at that

as a good thing, because what we

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are learning as I am, you know,

moving along 40, 50 and beyond.

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I'm learning that I need to take

care of myself and learn how to speak

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my truth and be who I authentically

am in order to be used by God and

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to really help and serve people.

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I don't know why it's such a

hard concept for me to grab onto.

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And we talked about how can we do that?

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And she had mentioned, and it's

in the show notes, uh, little.

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It's not a personality test, but

it's a test that will show you

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what kind of a person you are.

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For example, I was a high achiever

tied with a people pleaser.

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So, which kind of the people

pleasing thing makes sense to me.

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We talk about how that can be

a superpower and how it can be

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really devastating in my life.

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So let's try to start focusing on

using these things as a superpower.

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So you can go take that quiz, find out.

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Who you are, get to know yourself

better, and then start changing it

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by taking little micro action steps,

things where you have courage,

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where it's a little scary, a little

uncomfortable, and you do it anyway.

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And my example was a lunch date

with my daughters and a friend.

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I was open about my beliefs in a

kind, generous way and, um, where

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before I might not be so willing

to share what I really thought.

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So, uh, really impactful stuff.

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Go back and take a listen and take that

quiz if you don't do anything else.