Artwork for podcast Speaking From The Heart
Episode #97 - Do I Need To Swear to Make My Point?
Episode 10126th March 2024 • Speaking From The Heart • Joshua D. Smith
00:00:00 00:18:55

Share Episode

Shownotes

Coarse language is often viewed as a way of making a point come across with great intensity and forcefulness. The personal and professional realms both have different viewpoints as to how it can accentuate your messaging, but can it be overused? When is it appropriate, and when it is not? Although from a courtesy standpoint that this subject may be an easy answer, this episode may provide surprising answers to how foul language may be advantageous, but only up to a certain point.

(WARNING: This episode contains explicit language and should not be listened to with children around or in sensitive environments.)

Visit Our Website: https://speaking-from-the-heart.captivate.fm/

Visit Our Business Website: https://www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

Support The Mission Of The Business! Donate Here: https://speaking-from-the-heart.captivate.fm/support

Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs

Transcripts

Intro:

Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

2

:

determination all converge into

an amazing, heartfelt experience.

3

:

This is Speaking From The Heart.

4

:

Joshua: Welcome back to episode

number 97 of Speaking from the Heart.

5

:

Now, I must put a big, big, big disclaimer

on this episode that after I give you

6

:

this disclaimer, there might be some

coarse language that's thrown around

7

:

quite a lot because this episode talks

about the use of swearing to make a point.

8

:

I will be using a lot of different coarse

words and coarse language that might

9

:

be offensive to some listeners, so if

you are easily offended by some of the

10

:

things that we will talk about today,

I encourage you to skip this episode,

11

:

but by all means, I think that it will

help you to understand that there's

12

:

a lot of different interpretation and

variety when it comes to this subject,

13

:

and maybe listening to some of what I

have to say might prove to be useful,

14

:

or should I say, goddamn useful.

15

:

What I found really interesting since

I started this podcast is that because

16

:

of the series of different types of

topics that I have to cover, that I've

17

:

had to put an explicit warning on my

podcast because of the different types

18

:

of subject matters that we cover, whether

that relates to drug use, addiction,

19

:

maybe even suicide, which many of those

subjects have been covered on these

20

:

shows, especially with some of my guests,

I think that it's really important to

21

:

protect the youth, and by all means, I'm

definitely encouraging those that have

22

:

young ears to not listen to such content,

but sometimes we have to use the word

23

:

fuck, or goddammit, or shit, to really

make our point come across, especially in

24

:

some context in some areas of our lives.

25

:

I think I find this episode also a little

bit humorous, because for some people

26

:

that are blue collar workers, we're all

used to that kind of language being used,

27

:

especially when nobody else is looking,

or even listening for that matter.

28

:

I can completely respect and understand

why you might find this episode to be not

29

:

only nonsensical, but also, why did it

even need to be done in the first place,

30

:

but I think that in today's society,

we think that using swear language is

31

:

okay, and I also want to say, at the

same turn, that when I used the words

32

:

that I've used earlier, I feel that

they had a purpose, or a connotation,

33

:

for even sharing them to begin with,

and that's why I think it's okay to use

34

:

it, but only to a certain extent; after

that, you definitely lose your variety

35

:

and your ability to engage with your

audience, let alone even personally and

36

:

professionally develop yourself, because

some people won't take you seriously.

37

:

I have to thank my dad for really teaching

me all the different types of cuss words

38

:

and all the different expressions that

you can use in those cuss words to be

39

:

able to share with a variety of different

people, because if it wasn't for him, I

40

:

wouldn't be even having this episode in

the first place, let alone even talking

41

:

about this subject because of some

friends bringing it up recently, and to

42

:

top it all off, seeing this recently on

a Buzzsprout podcast Facebook group in

43

:

which it was discussed about the usage

of swearing, it made me start to think

44

:

about the importance of how we use our

words effectively to communicate the

45

:

point that we're trying to make, so even

if you want to say, "God damn it, Josh.

46

:

You really are fucking with me.", I think

that you might be wanting to take a step

47

:

back and just only use the first part

of it instead of the whole part of it to

48

:

be able to make your point come across

that you're easily offended by some

49

:

of the language that I'm about to use.

50

:

Course language throughout history has

been utilized in a variety of different

51

:

ways; whether it is to make a point,

whether it is to emphasize great intensity

52

:

and forcefulness, whether it is to

accentuate the messaging that we're

53

:

trying to share as a whole, the real

question becomes: can it be overused?

54

:

Well, duh, it can be, and this is

the point where I could probably end

55

:

the episode and say, thank you for

sharing with me your expertise, Joshua,

56

:

and move on to the next episode that

you have on the playlist, but from a

57

:

courtesy standpoint, the answer might

not be as easy as you might think.

58

:

Knowing your audience, as I even have

mentioned many times to my clients in

59

:

public speaking, and even has been taught

across many different types of classes,

60

:

talk about the advantageous benefits

of being able to use foul language to

61

:

help to accentuate not only the points

that you're trying to make, but what

62

:

you can say up to a certain point.

63

:

You see, audiences are a funny sort

of animal in itself, and yes, they are

64

:

animals because we are all, by nature,

some type of descendant of an animal.

65

:

We are all descendants of the

monkeys, in which we have our direct

66

:

ancestral ties to them, which has

been proven by genetic research.

67

:

We have to understand that language

that is coarse in nature doesn't always

68

:

mean that it's easily offendable.

69

:

What I might view as offensive might

not be as offensive to somebody else.

70

:

That's why we get into, easily, debates

on social media and even other platforms

71

:

about what's acceptable and what is not.

72

:

Many corporations even have codes

of conduct in which it talks

73

:

about the use of language and

how it can be properly utilized.

74

:

I know that I have thrown around

occasionally a cuss word or two in

75

:

front of my supervisor, but I know

that I can only do that in private.

76

:

I've also been able to throw around

a couple other words in front of my

77

:

clients, but I also got to know them

a little bit better, and also got to

78

:

feel a little bit more comfortable

about it, but the ultimate question of,

79

:

do I need to swear to make my point,

will vary from one audience to another.

80

:

I'm sure that many of us can think of at

least one time that an occasional cuss

81

:

word slipped out of our mouths, and it

wasn't really intended to the person that

82

:

we were trying to share it with, meaning,

the thought did enter our minds, but then

83

:

it escape our minds just as quickly, and

I know that that sometimes happens, but

84

:

before it escapes your mind, it slips out

of your mouth, and we instantly regret it.

85

:

I know that we can even attribute to some

historical moments, or swearing in itself,

86

:

when it was utilized, was probably not

the best way to utilize ourselves and

87

:

our language repertoire in the manner in

which we are often thinking about as an

88

:

important way in which we have dialogue.

89

:

We have discourse in a way in which it

allows us to learn from each other the

90

:

best ways and the best ideas to resolve

problems, which we've talked about already

91

:

in some more recent episodes about the

importance of being able to prioritize

92

:

your ideas and your problems so that you

can make the most impact, but I always

93

:

attribute the fact that coarse language

comes from an emotional standpoint.

94

:

The emotion that we feel and that

we convey to others oftentimes

95

:

creates that impression of ourselves

as the willingness to understand,

96

:

with one another, why we feel a

certain way about a certain subject.

97

:

Don't like those mashed

potatoes that your mom gave you?

98

:

I certainly don't want

to say, "Goddammit, mom.

99

:

Don't give me that fucking shit.", because

that will come back to me and my mouth

100

:

being washed out, because let's face

it, we love our moms, adopted or not,

101

:

to be able to help us to create that

best value that we need in our lives.

102

:

They are the linchpins, along

with our fathers, of being able

103

:

to be respectable and proper and

prim in a lot of different ways.

104

:

Don't like the service that

you get from your server?

105

:

"You son of a bitch!

106

:

I can't believe you didn't give me

the potatoes that I wanted to have!"

107

:

Do you notice that I like

potatoes in this episode?

108

:

Why would I even say that to my server?

109

:

It might have not been his fault

that the potatoes weren't served,

110

:

or maybe they were served and

they were not of the right kind.

111

:

How could you blame somebody with a cuss

word about your intensity of what you

112

:

feel about what you are experiencing

because of the mashed potatoes?

113

:

Don't like your teacher and the amount

of homework that they're giving you?

114

:

"Goddammit, Mrs.

115

:

Talker.

116

:

I can't believe you gave so

much fucking homework to us.

117

:

We don't have enough time to do every

fucking thing in this whole fucking

118

:

course, and you're giving us more?

119

:

Fuck you!", and walk out the door.

120

:

Do you really think that using

the word fuck over and over again

121

:

really makes an impression, not just

on your teacher, but even on your

122

:

classmates, who are probably laughing

because you are going way overboard?

123

:

Do you get my picture?

124

:

Do you get what I'm saying?

125

:

Sometimes using the amount of words,

whether they are really trying to

126

:

project the intensity of what we

feel, don't always convey into the

127

:

end result that we're trying to make.

128

:

I have to tell you, that foul

language might be appropriate in

129

:

some ways, but not appropriate in

others, especially with the audience

130

:

that you're trying to engage with.

131

:

I think that we get so caught up

in the fact that we want to make

132

:

this impression on somebody else,

or that we want to convey something

133

:

that was really on our minds.

134

:

We think that authenticity might also

include being able to swear at the top

135

:

of our lungs, making sure that somebody

hears us, whether they're far away

136

:

in the other side of the room itself,

or maybe even two doors down, being

137

:

our neighbors, but I think that it's

not necessary to do all those things,

138

:

and create such a negative context

in our discourse, in our discussions.

139

:

We can do this in a much better way;

a more efficient way, if you will.

140

:

I think the surprising answer is that

sometimes using that foul language to

141

:

help accentuate that god damn point

that we're trying to make can also

142

:

make a big difference, and you notice

what I just did there is use goddamn to

143

:

emphasize my point about making points.

144

:

It's all about timing.

145

:

It's about the way in which we're able

to analyze around us the ability to know

146

:

when it's okay and when it's not okay.

147

:

Subconsciously, our brain is processing

millions of bits of information in

148

:

which then we're able to make a decision

as to best moving forward with that

149

:

idea or that concept or that solution

that might include a coarse word,

150

:

or two, or three for that matter.

151

:

We have to learn to use

it to our advantage.

152

:

It's not a free ticket for us to just go

ahead and swear at the top of our lungs,

153

:

thinking that we're going to make such

a big difference in our lives, trying

154

:

to achieve what we're trying to achieve.

155

:

Swearing is not always the answer either.

156

:

Would you want to swear at your 70 or 80

year old mother, because you think that

157

:

she needs to do something and get off

her butt, when really, she's 70 and 80

158

:

years old and has lived a full life, and

maybe you're being really hard on her?

159

:

Does it make much sense to be hard on

that person that is serving you food for a

160

:

mistake that maybe wasn't even their fault

to begin with, because maybe the ticket

161

:

that they'd written up actually had the

correct order, and the cook in the kitchen

162

:

messed it up; but maybe even the teacher

for that matter, giving you that amount

163

:

of work is really trying to prove an

important point about not only diligence,

164

:

but also the type of subject that they're

trying to teach on requires that much

165

:

homework to be given in the first place.

166

:

Those examples, plus the bullies that

we sometimes meet on social media

167

:

that want to use that course language,

don't understand the impact of what

168

:

our words are, and that's really

what the crux is of this whole entire

169

:

conversation that we're having today.

170

:

It's about the power of our words, and how

they can instantly hurt, or even destroy

171

:

for that matter, the relationship's

confidence and determination to keep

172

:

moving forward; to keep being better

versions of ourselves as a whole.

173

:

I can't tell you how many times

that my words have destroyed my

174

:

relationships with other people, and

I am really sorry for those people

175

:

that had to be the blunt of it.

176

:

I have had many excuses in the past.

177

:

"Oh, it's my autism."

178

:

"Oh, it's the way in which I was

emotionally connected with this

179

:

because I had so much at stake."

180

:

"Oh, it's because I don't really

like you, and I wanted to tell you

181

:

how much I dislike your ideas, even

your presence, in the same room."

182

:

Words are very powerful.

183

:

As a matter of fact, as one person

has put it in the past, the pen

184

:

is mightier than the sword itself.

185

:

It was one of those various expressions,

even dating back to the Revolutionary

186

:

War, the founding of the United States,

and being able to find the freedom

187

:

that we have, we were able to lean on

the words that we were using, not the

188

:

might of our military that we were

building through the Continental Army.

189

:

I think that we have to learn that

by balance, we can also convey

190

:

our purpose of the speech and the

language that we're trying to convey.

191

:

It doesn't give you a free ticket

to say "fuck you" every single time.

192

:

It doesn't mean that every situation

is a piece of shit, and it doesn't mean

193

:

either that you get the free ticket

to use Jesus Christ's name in vain,

194

:

or JC for short, every single time.

195

:

I don't know about you, but I think

that language can make a point.

196

:

We don't have to necessarily use the

swear words to even convey that point,

197

:

but at the same time, the way that we

say it without swearing can be just

198

:

as dangerous and destructive, and I've

seen it time and time again, not only in

199

:

history, not only in the readings that

I have read throughout all time, but

200

:

also because of the things that I have

even seen in today's society between

201

:

friends, family, and other coworkers

that can be just as painful and just as

202

:

dangerous because you're not self-aware,

so now, today is your wake up call.

203

:

Be more self aware of the language that

you're using, and perhaps the reaction

204

:

that you'll get will be completely

different than you might have anticipated.

205

:

There are surprising answers to whether

foul language can make a big difference,

206

:

and I'm here today to not make a case

either way, but I am here to make a case

207

:

on is whether you, as an individual,

can make such a bigger difference

208

:

with using your language in a more

appropriate and more factual, concise way.

209

:

Making our point is so

important in today's society.

210

:

It's more than ever, especially because

of the conciseness that we need to

211

:

have and the attention span that we're

often giving other people to be able

212

:

to make that conversation happen, to

make sure that discussion takes place

213

:

during a meeting, to make sure that

personally, we can move forward from

214

:

the problems, regardless of what they

are, from being able to hold us back.

215

:

We are soon approaching the 100th episode,

and every time that I keep thinking about

216

:

the fact that language can make such

a big difference, I go back to where

217

:

I start with this very conversation.

218

:

What is on your heart doesn't always mean

that you have to reference foul language.

219

:

What is on your heart, that very first

episode, talked about what you can do

220

:

with the unlimited potential that you

have deep inside of you to change the

221

:

circumstances that surround you, no matter

if it was something that was imposed upon

222

:

you, or you have the choice to make a

decision in order to move forward from

223

:

the things that are holding you back.

224

:

You will always have the choice to make

sure that you are being well heard if

225

:

you're just understanding what the other

side, or the other perspective is, which

226

:

is exactly what we've talked about, even

in other episodes, about the importance

227

:

of having that crucial conversation, but,

whether you want to fuck yourself, go

228

:

to hell, be a goddamn non believer, or

just shit all over the things that I'm

229

:

saying today, just know that language

does have a powerful context, and even

230

:

if you want to fucking write to me at

podcast@yourspeakingvoice.biz, I'll

231

:

guarantee you that I'll give you a fucking

response because let's fucking face it.

232

:

We don't always have to say fuck to

make our point, which is why I'm going

233

:

to say this to end today's episode.

234

:

I appreciate that you are willing to

even take a listen to something that

235

:

might be so offensive, but you don't

have to swear to make the point.

236

:

I'm a friendly person, and as long as

you're friendly to me, and you come up

237

:

to me wanting to learn and explore new

opportunities, be able to understand the

238

:

human condition, and let alone accentuate

what you have already, I think that we can

239

:

have a pretty civil conversation, and we

can check out the course language before

240

:

we even start having that conversation,

because I know that you are capable of

241

:

having the English language, or any other

language that you utilize, come to life in

242

:

more ways than just using foul language.

243

:

Let's make sure that we can be courteous,

while at the same time, respecting what

244

:

our opinions are, and you can leave

those words at the door, because I don't

245

:

need to hear them, and neither do you.

246

:

Thanks for listening to episode

number 97 of Speaking From the

247

:

Heart, and I look forward to

hearing from your heart very soon.

248

:

Outro: Thanks for listening.

249

:

For more information about our podcast

and future shows, search for Speaking From

250

:

The Heart to subscribe and be notified

wherever you listen to your podcasts.

251

:

Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

for more information about potential

252

:

services that can help you create

the best version of yourself.

253

:

See you next time.

Chapters

Video

More from YouTube