Protecting your peace isn’t selfish — it’s sacred. ✨

In today’s tea time sesh, Amanda kicks off 2026 with a powerful intention: freedom through protecting her peace. If you’re done overexplaining, overgiving, and tolerating what quietly drains you, this tea time sesh is your permission slip to raise your standards — unapologetically.

Amanda spills the tea on The Ultimate Guide to Protecting Your Peace, walking you through how to stop tolerating behaviors, patterns, and expectations that no longer serve the version of you you’re becoming. From auditing what drains your energy to building daily peace rituals that anchor you, this tea time sesh is packed with honest reflection and actionable steps you can start using today.

And because this is Dare To Be Iconic, Amanda doesn’t just talk about boundaries — she challenges you to claim them out loud.

If you’re ready to choose yourself, protect your energy, and step into this year with clarity and confidence — this one’s for you. 💫

🎧 Press play and dare to protect your peace.

Connect with Amanda:

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Submit your order for the Sexy 27 Sale!

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Got a question for Amanda or a topic you'd love to hear discussed on a future episode? Submit your question to the "Dare To Be Iconic Hotline" today!

Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome to Dare To Be Iconic

00:25 Setting the Stage for 2026

01:24 The Ultimate Guide to Protecting Your Peace

04:28 Step 1: Stop Tolerating What No Longer Serves You

14:17 Step 2: Audit Your Energy and Remove What Drains You

19:51 Step 3: Building a Daily Peace Ritual

22:05 See You Next Week!

Well, what's up, radiant icons and welcome back to Dare

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To Be Iconic, the podcast made for

icons who are daring to be themselves.

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I'm your host, Amanda Paolicelli,

and for today's tea Time sesh, we are

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spilling the tea on how to protect

your peace without feeling selfish.

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Because in 2026, it is your year to

protect your peace unapologetically.

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And I know that we are

all on the same page.

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radiant icons, because I did a little

Instagram poll, I did a little Instagram

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poll late last year asking what you want

to step into as we enter the new year

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and the number one response was that you

are in your protecting your peace era.

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And you know what?

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I couldn't agree with it more because

as you know, brilliant icons, I

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love choosing an intention or a

word of the year that will guide me.

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And my word of the year

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And there is such freedom in

choosing to protect your peace.

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So I have cultivated your ultimate

guide on how to protect your peace

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in 2026 without feeling selfish.

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And that is the key phrase here without

feeling selfish because a lot of times

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when we haven't built up that muscle,

right, of choosing to protect our peace

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and choosing ourselves, basically, it

can feel a little selfish because we

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are not used to putting ourselves first.

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Well, that is going to change in

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right now with your ultimate guide on

protecting your peace 'Cause you know

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we're gonna do it together because

I don't do anything by, well, I do.

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I do do things by myself.

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That's why we did solo dates, but you

know what I'm saying, radiance icons.

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Before we dive into all of that,

make sure to connect with me on

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socials on Instagram and TikTok.

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It's @amandapaolicelli_

and @daretobeiconic_.

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And if you're on LinkedIn Radiance

icons, make sure to check me out

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on there and connect with me.

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It's Amanda Pelli.

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All of my socials are linked in the show

notes below, along with our exclusive

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Sexy 27 sale that you cannot find

anywhere else except that link in the

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show notes, that Sexy 27 sale includes

one piece of your choosing from the

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Radiant Reign Merch collection, and one

copy of our healing journal Break Up With

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The Past, Fall In Love With The Future.

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So make sure to connect with me on

socials and secure your exclusive deal

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today by checking out the show notes.

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Are you ready?

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radiant icons Because your

tea time sesh is starting now.

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Now I know a new year calls for new

standards, radiant icons, but if there

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is one thing that I can promise to

consistently deliver, no matter what

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year we are in or what era we are

in, is that I will always be spilling

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the piping hot tea and sharing my hot

takes right here on this very podcast.

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And well, my hot take when it

comes to protecting your peace

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is that peace is not negotiable.

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And anyone who tells you that it is,

well, that is clearly on them because

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they are not choosing themselves.

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A lot of people think that

choosing yourself is a selfish act.

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In fact, it's the exact

opposite, radiant ty cones.

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Choosing yourself is one of

the most powerful acts that

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you can do for yourself.

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It is so powerful to make that

commitment and to honor it consistently.

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There is so much power in knowing

what you do and do not tolerate.

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There is so much power in claiming

your boundaries publicly, and

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there is so much power in making

the decision to choose your peace.

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No matter what it looks like,

there is so much power in it.

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And for today's tea time sesh,

I am so excited to dive into the

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very iconic and the ultimate guide

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So let's get to it, radiant icons.

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Step one is to stop tolerating what no

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We are running a strict program

when it comes to protecting

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our peace, and that starts with

this step in particular, right?

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Every time we tolerate a behavior, a

habit, a situation that we know no longer

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serves us, it is a form of disrespect.

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It is a form of disrespect to that honor,

to that commitment of choosing ourselves.

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And you know what?

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I am guilty of this.

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I am guilty of this so much, especially

in the relationship category of my

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life, whether it's platonic or romantic.

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I am so guilty of tolerating

behaviors that I know don't feed soul

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or don't protect my peace, right?

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I have this tendency to give

people the benefit of the doubt.

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I have this tendency to be lenient.

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I have this tendency to

be considerate of others.

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And while I was thinking on this here

and this step in particular, I kept

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asking myself, why am I so considerate of

others and their behaviors and situations

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and things like that when I'm not even

being considered on the other end?

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Why am I doing that?

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Why am I actively choosing to

disrespect myself when I know I am

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not being considered on the other end?

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Why am I doing that to myself?

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So in this New Year, radiant

icons, I have decided to honor

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the commitment of choosing myself

and finally stop tolerating the

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things that no longer serve me.

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And that is what I challenge

you with because we cannot be

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actively disrespecting ourselves.

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We need to stop giving away our

energy to situations, to people,

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to habits that no longer serve us

on the path that we are going on.

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So when it comes to this step,

radiant icons, I challenge you to

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write down three things that you'll

no longer accept in this new year.

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That could be habits, that could be

situations, that could be behaviors.

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I'm gonna give you my three things just

to get your mind going on, what you

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can write, because honestly, this one,

out of all three steps, this one was

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the hardest for me because I, I would

like to think I am not disrespecting

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myself, but the matter of the fact is

by me accepting these behaviors, I am

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disrespecting myself and abandoning

that commitment of choosing myself.

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And in 2026, I want to get centered again.

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I want to get realigned with my

purpose right in, in that commitment.

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So, the first thing that I am no

longer accepting this year is that

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I will no longer be the friend

who always reaches out first.

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And here's why.

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I am so done being the glue.

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I am so tired of being the person who

checks in on everyone and orchestrates

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the plans and remembers the details,

and holds the relationships together.

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It should not be all on me.

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Relationships are a two way street.

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It should be reciprocal.

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It really should.

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And I realized while I was looking back

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a lot of instances in my life where I was

overextending myself or I was bending over

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backwards to keep relationships going when

they really should have been just cut.

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Like, yeah, like I should have

just been done with it, right?

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And I want others to give me the

same consideration that I give them.

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There is nothing bad in wanting that,

and I think I had a really hard time

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with vocalizing that is something that

I want because I thought it was selfish.

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But again, like I said, choosing yourself

and stating what you want is not selfish.

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You should be in relationships no matter

what type of relationship it is that

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gives you your needs and wants, right?

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Of course, there is compromise

in relationships, but you cannot

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be the one overexerting yourself.

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You cannot be the one overextending

yourself because it gets to a point where

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you are so burnt out that you forget

about yourself, and I cannot do that.

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I will not let you do that if you are

also someone that does that same thing.

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We cannot be doing that to ourselves,

especially in this new year where

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we are protecting our peace.

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I am making that intentional choice

this year to be cognizant of who I

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decide to be in relationships with.

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Are they actively pouring back

into me or am I always the one.

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Orchestrating everything

right and reaching out.

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Because I've had this happen in the past.

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I've decided, you know what,

I'm gonna stop always contacting

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first and see what happens.

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And that person has never reached out

because it was on me to always be the one

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to exert myself to get the things going.

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It's because I was always thinking of

them and they weren't thinking of me.

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I'm not doing that anymore.

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Absolutely not.

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I am protecting my peace in 2026, and that

is a behavior that I am not tolerating.

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And the second thing, I am no

longer tolerating this year.

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Radiance icons is actually a habit.

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I am no longer coping with

stress and anxiety by biting

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the shit out of my cuticles.

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I know this is not a secret.

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I know everyone knows

that I struggle with this.

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When I am anxious, when I am

stressed, when I am overwhelmed,

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I destroy my cuticles.

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That is just a thing I have done

since I was little buddy, Amanda, and

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I know that is no longer serving me.

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In fact, I know that has not

served me for a long ass time.

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I know there are better ways to

cope with all of those feelings.

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It is bad for my nervous system, it is

bad for my mental health, and it is bad

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for my body to be doing that to myself.

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This habit is me taking my

anxiety out on myself, and I

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know I deserve better than that.

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I know that I have tools in my

toolkit from therapy that I can

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utilize to my advantage so I can stop

tolerating this behavior within myself.

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We are finding healthier ways to

release my stress and release my

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anxiety, and we are channeling that

anxious energy that that overwhelming

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energy that I have into something that

actually heals me instead of hurts me.

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last thing that I am no longer

tolerating this year is that I am

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no longer tolerating misalignment

between words and actions.

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Am so done with giving

benefit of the doubt.

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Alignment does matter,

consistency does matter.

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Follow through does matter.

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If you say one thing and you do another,

how can I, how can I keep on being

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considerate of that behavior when

you're not being considerate of me?

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Why are you gonna tell me one thing

and do something completely different,

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whether it's behind my back or to my face?

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You are actively disrespecting

me by doing that.

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I am done.

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I am done ignoring this in

my relationships in my life.

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When someone shows you who they are the

first time, you need to believe them.

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You need to stop giving them

the benefit of the doubt.

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And I know I have said this

on the podcast multiple times.

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I know I have, and I don't know why I

keep tolerating it, but this year in

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2026, I'm holding myself accountable and

I'm saying it right here on this podcast.

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I am not tolerating this behavior.

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I am not tolerating this.

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You say one thing to me

and then you do another.

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I don't care if you stabbed me

in the front or in the back.

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If it does not align it, if is not

consistent, if there is not follow

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through, I am not dealing with it.

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I am not giving you grace.

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I'm not giving you benefit of the doubt.

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Because when, when have others done the

same for me and I know people are like,

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oh, that's kind of a little bit selfish.

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No, it's not.

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Choosing yourself, like I said in

the beginning is never selfish.

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It is powerful.

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It is powerful to know that you

are not going to tolerate behavior

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that is not serving you on the

path that you are going down.

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In 2026, I am on this path of freedom.

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I am being free in my voice, in my

choices, in my body, and being free from

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the expectations that are set upon me.

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There is some type of expectation

that I have, you know, set upon

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myself of, oh, I need to give

people grace, and I need to be this.

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But if they keep on disrespecting

you, why are you gonna keep

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on giving that person grace?

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You can't.

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They're actively choosing

to disrespect you.

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So why am I gonna tolerate it?

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Yeah.

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We're running a strict program

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choose myself and protect my peace.

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I deserve better than no follow through.

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I do.

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And you do.

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too radiant icons.

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So those are my three things that I am

no longer tolerating in the new year.

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Let's get to step two.

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Step two, audit your energy

and remove what drains you.

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Now this step ties so beautifully to

step one, and it's because some of the

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things that you realize in your life

that you are no longer tolerating.

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Also most likely are the things that

are draining your energy and you are

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going to remove it from your life.

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So step two is a little one, two for you.

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'cause you know I love a little one, two.

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But what I'm saying, reading into

icons is for me in particular, right?

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When I go back to what I

mentioned in step one, right?

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Those three things that I'm no longer

tolerating in my life, I think of

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how do they drain my energy, right?

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And why do I want to remove them?

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And I think of the first point and third

point I made of those behaviors that

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I'm not tolerating right, whether it's

me doing a behavior or it's someone

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else doing a behavior towards me.

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Those are two things,

particularly one and three, right?

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So one and three, just to quick recap.

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The first one was I'm no longer being

the friend who always reaches out first.

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And the third one is, I will

no longer accept misalignment

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between words and actions.

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Those two things in particular

I know drain my energy.

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The more I pour back into someone that's

not pouring into me, drains my energy,

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and by me allowing someone to be so

inconsistent with their words and actions

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and keeping them in my life, not only

doesn't serve me, but it drains my energy

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because it causes me so much confusion.

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It causes me so much stress.

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I mean, there is one example in particular

from last year that I can think of, right?

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And that was draining my energy.

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I was not myself.

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And so when it comes to auditing your

energy and removing what drains you

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for this particular step, I encourage

you radiant icons to start small.

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I know it's very exciting at the new year

to do everything and anything at once,

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but you're going to get overwhelmed.

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And that's going to not only create

this anxiety feeling, but it can also

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be debilitating in a sense, right?

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Because it's like, oh my gosh,

there's so much I wanna do.

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I don't know where to start.

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So start small.

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Choose one thing that you know,

and maybe it's a behavior you

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mentioned in step one, right?

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Something you're no longer tolerating.

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'cause you're like, you know what?

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This is something that I'm no longer

tolerating that I know drains my

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energy, so I'm going to remove it.

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Point blank.

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You did step one and two together.

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I love that for you, right?

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When you start small, you pick one

thing, it allows you to open your

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perspective of seeing what are the other

things in your life that drain your

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energy or that no longer serve you.

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It creates momentum, radiant

icons, and that is what you want.

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You want to gradually

build yourself up to it.

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So you can know what your boundaries.

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I mean, that's what we're

doing here basically.

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We are figuring out our boundaries and we

are publicly declaring them for ourselves.

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We are actively protecting

our peace by doing that.

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So the action step, or what I'm going

to challenge you with radiant icons is

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I want you to pick one person, habit, or

situation to remove or limit immediately.

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Now, what I'm going to do is,

there is a certain friendship in

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my life that I decided late last

year, like very late last year,

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that I am not bringing into 2026.

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That person, that friendship

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has been a rollercoaster.

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It has been disappointing, it has

been hurtful, it has been painful.

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It's been a lot of things like there

were some really good moments and

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there were some really, really hurtful

moments, and I don't want that confusion

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and inconsistency in my life anymore.

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I was also the friend who would

always reach out to that person.

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Then they would respond back when

they needed me back in their life.

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So that is the one person, the one thing

that I have decided I'm not bringing into

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this new year, and it's been very peaceful

so far because I've, I've stuck to it.

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Okay, radiant icons.

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I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.

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As you know, we are in our radiance

rain era and for me in this era, I have

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been finding little things that make me

feel powerful, that make me feel sexy,

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that make me feel unapologetically me.

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And one of those is my

iconic signature scent.

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I have crafted mine with Oakcha.

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I do sinful layered with That

Girl Vanilla and it is delectable.

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It is sinful and it is

sexy if I say so myself.

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Every spritz just feels

like confidence bottled up.

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It is my reminder that I am evolving

for myself, not anyone's dusty ass son.

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And you can have that too.

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Radiant icons.

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Make sure to build your own fragrance

through Oakcha, use the discount

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code linked in the show notes

below to save yourself some cash.

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Because icons do not follow trends.

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We set the standard.

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Amanda Paolicelli: Now,

let's get to step three.

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Step three is building

a daily peace ritual.

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You cannot be iconic if

you are drained, okay?

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You cannot be iconic if you are drained.

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And that's why building a peace

ritual is something you need to do.

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So you avoid burning yourself out and

you are actively protecting your peace.

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And that starts with habit building.

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Habits anchor your identity, right?

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And even these small rituals that you

create that become habits, reinforce

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your standards, it reinforces the way

that you see yourself, the way that you

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choose to honor yourself, and honoring

that choice to protect your peace.

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And so when it comes to

this daily peace ritual.

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I encourage you to add one daily

ritual that reinforces your peace.

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That could be a morning meditation,

that could be journaling, that

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can be a phone free evening, or

an intentional skincare routine.

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Now I know I say a lot of times

on this podcast that when it comes

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to creating a routine, I always

wanna journal and I always wanna

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do that gua sha And you know what?

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I never do it.

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I never intentionally make the time

to unwind at the end of the night.

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I usually just work, work, work, work,

work, work, work until I fall asleep.

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I don't give myself that time to

unwind and protect my peace and

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honor myself before I go to bed.

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I'm just always working.

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I need to stop doing that in 2026.

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I really, I really, really need to.

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It is not healthy to not have that time

for yourself at the end of the night.

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So my daily peace ritual is this.

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I am going to do that gua

sha three times a week.

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I'm doing it.

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I am doing it radiant icons And then

after that I'm going to pull out my

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breakup journal, breakup with the past,

fall in love with the future and I'm

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gonna do some pages in that journal.

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All right, radiant icons.

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That is your tea Time sesh for today.

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If you enjoy today's episode, make

sure to subscribe to leave a rating, a

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review, to tell your friends about us,

to tell everyone and anyone, because

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you know we love what More Radiant

icons in our iconic community of ours.

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And speaking about our iconic community

radiant icons, I challenge you to take

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this guide and share one boundary or

standard that you are claiming this week

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publicly to your social media and tag

Dare to Be Iconic and myself, whether

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it's on Instagram, TikTok, Substack.

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Commenting on the podcast, like

leaving a testimonial, whatever it is.

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I want you to share your boundary or

standard with me that you are claiming

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this week that was inspired by this

very guide of protecting your piece.

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And as you are going through this

guide, radiant Icons, just remember

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that this is about claiming your

energy, not controlling anyone else's.

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I am so excited to hear about the

boundary setting and standards that

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we are setting for ourselves in 2026.

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So let's chitchat about next

week real quick, next week, we

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are taking it a step further.

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We are exploring or diving deep into

freedom and sexy and what freedom and

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sexy really mean in 2026, I am sharing a

simple, actionable framework for designing

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a life that actually does serve you.

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You guys, I am so excited for

next week's tea time sesh.

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Like just look at us.

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We are protecting our peace.

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We are choosing to build for ourselves.

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We are rewriting our narrative.

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We are healing out loud like we

are doing all the things and we're

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daring to be iconic together.

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Like, damn, that's so iconic of us.

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I love it and I love you guys and

I'll chat with y'all next week.

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Remember radiant icons, dare to be iconic.

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Bye.