Josh:
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Words of Wisdom 135 on Understanding Addiction Recovery Part 11 Repeatedly
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choosing unwanted sexual behaviors,
abusing alcohol or other substances
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can be confusing, even baffling.
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On the one hand, we are all
responsible for our choices.
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On the other hand, it may really seem
like you are a victim of your own choices.
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There are different ways to talk about
this, different attempts people have
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made throughout history to describe this
phenomenon, sin, the flesh, unwanted
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behavior, compulsivity, addiction.
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Today, we are going to
talk about addiction.
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We will shed light on the concept
of addiction and help you better
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understand how it might apply
to your life or to a loved one.
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Addiction is a word that has a
lot of meaning and connotations.
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Some of you might 100
percent be convinced.
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That you are addicted.
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Others might be terrified by the idea.
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And some of you might be
adamantly opposed to the term.
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So let's slow down and take some
time to reflect on addiction.
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We can think about addiction
on many different levels.
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Here are four.
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First, Psychological.
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The thoughts and feelings that
contribute to addictive behavior.
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The shame, lies, pain, trauma that
contributes to addictive behavior.
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Second, Physiological.
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This is the physical and chemical
functions of the body and how
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the body and brain interact.
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Third, Story.
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The narratives and meaning made
from life experiences that impacts
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one's identity and choices.
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Fourth, spiritual.
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The relationship between self and God,
the depth of presence and connection to
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God and His power, and His redeeming love.
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Today we can start by reflecting
on the psychological level, looking
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at habits versus addictions.
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A habit is a behavior that is
developed through repetition.
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It's a choice that gets
applied to specific situations.
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Over time, they become
unconscious, automatic behaviors.
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Healthy habits ultimately lead to positive
long term outcomes and are balanced
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within the overall context of one's life.
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Unhealthy habits, of course, lead
to negative long term outcomes and
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degrade the quality of your life.
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So much of the quality of your
life is determined by your habits.
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Small actions over time determine
whether you flourish or live in chaos.
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An addiction, however, is
different than a habit.
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It's a complex condition that
affects both the mind and body.
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It begins with the use of a
substance or behavior which gradually
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escalates into a compulsion that
takes control over the individual.
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As the addiction progresses, it
leads to devastating long term
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consequences and creates a profound
imbalance in the person's life,
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affecting their relationships,
work, and overall well being.
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In later stages, the addiction is the
dominating factor in the person's life,
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controlling and impacting every aspect of
life, and it ultimately leads to death.
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Addiction serves various unconscious
purposes for the individual, often
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rooted in attempting to manage or
escape from the challenges of reality.
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It can be a means to cope with
the difficulties and pain of life,
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providing a temporary escape from
overwhelming emotions or circumstances.
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Addiction may also be used to numb
uncomfortable feelings or alter one's
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mood, offering a false sense of control
over an otherwise uncontrollable reality.
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For some addiction, combats a deep
seated sense of powerlessness, while
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for others it fulfills a craving
for intensity and excitement.
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Ultimately, addiction is
a maladaptive response.
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To the complexities of the human
experience, promising relief,
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but delivering destruction.
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The key is to ask if you are in control of
your desires and your behaviors, if they
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serve you, or if they are in control of
you, if you've been powerless, and if your
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behavior has caused unwanted consequences.
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Sex isn't bad.
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Alcohol isn't bad.
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It's what you do with it.
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The choices you make.
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The meaning you make.
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It's the power that it
has over you that matters.
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At the end of the day, you must ask
yourself, "Are my behaviors enabling
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me to live life according to my values?
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Or are my unhealthy desires
dominating or destroying my life?"
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If you or someone you love
is struggling with addiction,
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remember that help is available.
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Reaching out to a trusted friend, family
member, therapist, or support group
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can be the first step towards recovery.
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Never underestimate the bravery
it takes to seek help when
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struggling with addiction.
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Quotes "At the heart of any addiction
is a deep seated sense of helplessness.
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The addict feels utterly powerless to
stop the compulsive behavior, despite
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the negative consequences it brings.
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This profound powerlessness is often
rooted in childhood trauma or emotional
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wounds that have never healed.
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The addiction serves as a desperate
attempt to numb the pain and escape the
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feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness.
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But it only compounds the
problems, creating a vicious cycle
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of shame and self destruction.
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The path to recovery begins with
admitting this powerlessness and seeking
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help to address the underlying issues."
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By Dr.
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Gabor Mate, a renowned addiction
expert and author of the book,
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In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts.
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"Like an alcoholic unable to
stop drinking, sexual addicts
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are unable to stop their self
destructive sexual behavior.
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Family breakups, financial disaster,
loss of jobs, and risk to life are
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the painful themes of their stories.
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By Patrick Carnes, considered the
grandfather of sex addiction treatment
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in his book, Out of the Shadows.
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Questions.
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Based on what you learned, how
would you answer the question
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often asked of addicts?
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"Why can't they just stop?"
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to what degree are you powerless
to stop a certain struggle?
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Use these questions as a journal prompt
and to guide your prayers this week.
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End note.
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Understanding addiction is the first
step towards empowering yourself or your
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loved ones to overcome its grasp and
embrace a life of freedom and flourishing.
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Live wisely.
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Josh
