Show notes
Understanding Addiction Recovery: A Comprehensive Insight
In this episode of 'Words of Wisdom,' Josh explores the complex nature of addiction and its various dimensions, including psychological, physiological, narrative, and spiritual aspects. He differentiates between habits and addictions, emphasizing the profound impact of addiction on one's life and relationships. Josh also highlights the importance of seeking help, sharing insights from experts like Dr. Gabor Mate and Patrick Carnes. Reflecting on personal control over behaviors and understanding addiction can be the first steps toward recovery and a life of flourishing.
00:00 Introduction to Understanding Addiction
00:42 Exploring the Concept of Addiction
01:15 The Four Levels of Addiction
01:56 Habits vs. Addictions: A Deep Dive
02:42 The Devastating Impact of Addiction
03:26 Understanding the Purpose and Control of Addiction
05:00 Seeking Help and Recovery from Addiction
05:19 Expert Insights on Addiction
06:39 Reflective Questions and Conclusion
About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT
• As a Psychoherapist Josh helps people overcome their greatest struggles.
•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com.
• Sign up to receive Josh's weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom.
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Links
Dr. Gabor Maté, renowned addiction expert and author of In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts
Patrick J. Carnes, considered the grandfather of sex addiction treatment, Out of the Shadows
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Support this podcast by buying a book through one of the links above.
Words of Wisdom 135 on Understanding Addiction Recovery Part 11 Repeatedly
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:choosing unwanted sexual behaviors,
abusing alcohol or other substances
3
:can be confusing, even baffling.
4
:On the one hand, we are all
responsible for our choices.
5
:On the other hand, it may really seem
like you are a victim of your own choices.
6
:There are different ways to talk about
this, different attempts people have
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:made throughout history to describe this
phenomenon, sin, the flesh, unwanted
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:behavior, compulsivity, addiction.
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:Today, we are going to
talk about addiction.
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:We will shed light on the concept
of addiction and help you better
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:understand how it might apply
to your life or to a loved one.
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:Addiction is a word that has a
lot of meaning and connotations.
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:Some of you might 100
percent be convinced.
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:That you are addicted.
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:Others might be terrified by the idea.
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:And some of you might be
adamantly opposed to the term.
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:So let's slow down and take some
time to reflect on addiction.
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:We can think about addiction
on many different levels.
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:Here are four.
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:First, Psychological.
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:The thoughts and feelings that
contribute to addictive behavior.
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:The shame, lies, pain, trauma that
contributes to addictive behavior.
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:Second, Physiological.
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:This is the physical and chemical
functions of the body and how
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:the body and brain interact.
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:Third, Story.
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:The narratives and meaning made
from life experiences that impacts
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:one's identity and choices.
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:Fourth, spiritual.
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:The relationship between self and God,
the depth of presence and connection to
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:God and His power, and His redeeming love.
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:Today we can start by reflecting
on the psychological level, looking
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:at habits versus addictions.
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:A habit is a behavior that is
developed through repetition.
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:It's a choice that gets
applied to specific situations.
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:Over time, they become
unconscious, automatic behaviors.
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:Healthy habits ultimately lead to positive
long term outcomes and are balanced
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:within the overall context of one's life.
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:Unhealthy habits, of course, lead
to negative long term outcomes and
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:degrade the quality of your life.
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:So much of the quality of your
life is determined by your habits.
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:Small actions over time determine
whether you flourish or live in chaos.
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:An addiction, however, is
different than a habit.
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:It's a complex condition that
affects both the mind and body.
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:It begins with the use of a
substance or behavior which gradually
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:escalates into a compulsion that
takes control over the individual.
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:As the addiction progresses, it
leads to devastating long term
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:consequences and creates a profound
imbalance in the person's life,
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:affecting their relationships,
work, and overall well being.
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:In later stages, the addiction is the
dominating factor in the person's life,
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:controlling and impacting every aspect of
life, and it ultimately leads to death.
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:Addiction serves various unconscious
purposes for the individual, often
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:rooted in attempting to manage or
escape from the challenges of reality.
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:It can be a means to cope with
the difficulties and pain of life,
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:providing a temporary escape from
overwhelming emotions or circumstances.
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:Addiction may also be used to numb
uncomfortable feelings or alter one's
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:mood, offering a false sense of control
over an otherwise uncontrollable reality.
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:For some addiction, combats a deep
seated sense of powerlessness, while
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:for others it fulfills a craving
for intensity and excitement.
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:Ultimately, addiction is
a maladaptive response.
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:To the complexities of the human
experience, promising relief,
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:but delivering destruction.
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:The key is to ask if you are in control of
your desires and your behaviors, if they
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:serve you, or if they are in control of
you, if you've been powerless, and if your
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:behavior has caused unwanted consequences.
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:Sex isn't bad.
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:Alcohol isn't bad.
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:It's what you do with it.
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:The choices you make.
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:The meaning you make.
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:It's the power that it
has over you that matters.
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:At the end of the day, you must ask
yourself, "Are my behaviors enabling
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:me to live life according to my values?
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:Or are my unhealthy desires
dominating or destroying my life?"
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:If you or someone you love
is struggling with addiction,
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:remember that help is available.
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:Reaching out to a trusted friend, family
member, therapist, or support group
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:can be the first step towards recovery.
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:Never underestimate the bravery
it takes to seek help when
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:struggling with addiction.
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:Quotes "At the heart of any addiction
is a deep seated sense of helplessness.
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:The addict feels utterly powerless to
stop the compulsive behavior, despite
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:the negative consequences it brings.
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:This profound powerlessness is often
rooted in childhood trauma or emotional
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:wounds that have never healed.
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:The addiction serves as a desperate
attempt to numb the pain and escape the
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:feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness.
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:But it only compounds the
problems, creating a vicious cycle
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:of shame and self destruction.
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:The path to recovery begins with
admitting this powerlessness and seeking
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:help to address the underlying issues."
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:By Dr.
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:Gabor Mate, a renowned addiction
expert and author of the book,
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:In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts.
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:"Like an alcoholic unable to
stop drinking, sexual addicts
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:are unable to stop their self
destructive sexual behavior.
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:Family breakups, financial disaster,
loss of jobs, and risk to life are
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:the painful themes of their stories.
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:By Patrick Carnes, considered the
grandfather of sex addiction treatment
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:in his book, Out of the Shadows.
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:Questions.
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:Based on what you learned, how
would you answer the question
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:often asked of addicts?
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:"Why can't they just stop?"
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:to what degree are you powerless
to stop a certain struggle?
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:Use these questions as a journal prompt
and to guide your prayers this week.
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:End note.
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:Understanding addiction is the first
step towards empowering yourself or your
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:loved ones to overcome its grasp and
embrace a life of freedom and flourishing.
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:Live wisely.
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:Josh