Artwork for podcast THE GRIT SHOW
The Essential 1st Step to Start Living a Chill, Connected, Rewarding Life -89
Episode 892nd April 2024 • THE GRIT SHOW • Shawna Rodrigues
00:00:00 00:43:18

Share Episode

Shownotes

Are you ready to redefine success on your own terms and embrace a more fulfilling lifestyle? This week on The Grit Show Shawna Rodrigues introduces us to Zeke Kamm, an inspiring storyteller and entrepreneur who lives life beyond the conventional bounds. Do you find yourself stuck in the daily grind, yearning for a deeper connection with your own narrative? Zeke shares his strategies for achieving a ‘chill and connected’ life, urging listeners to harness the power and simplicity of presence. Get a glimpse into the art of turning obstacles into opportunities for closer bonds with those around you. Zeke’s discussion on the finite nature of willpower and how to manage one’s life authentically offers a refreshing take on personal growth. Tease your curiosity and don't miss these profound reflections on life's journey as we gain tools and find out the first step toward transformation.

Zeke Kamm is an award-winning storyteller, filmmaker, and public speaker who helps people live a more connected, and balanced life. His feature documentary, The Last Blockbuster, is one of Netflix's most popular documentaries, receiving worldwide media attention and multiple awards, including Best Feature at the prestigious San Francisco Doc Fest.

With decades of experience making hit TV shows and movies in Hollywood, Zeke is now a motivational speaker, educator, and comedian. Using humor, vulnerability, and storytelling, he guides people to understand their "why" and reach their goals, enabling them to live a more chill, connected, and rewarding life.

Zeke's unique perspective has allowed him to work with talents like Weird Al Yankovic, Doug Benson, Patton Oswalt, and the Powerpuff Girls. His passion lies in exploring the human condition through impactful storytelling.

Connect with Zeke

Website: zekek.com

YouTube: www.youtube.com/@Zeke_Kamm/

Zeke's YouTube episode we discussed on willpower-

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsOHYbaaVqA

Stay Connected to The Grit Show

Follow us on Instagram: @The.Grit.Show

Grab your copy of our Self-Care Coloring Pages & as a bonus, you’ll get weekly email reminders when episodes come out!

https://ColoringPages.TheGritShow.com

You can also purchase the full-size gift worthy Color of Grit Adult Coloring Book here  bit.ly/TGSMermaid

Really love us and want to show it??

Give us a review on your favorite platform and share this (or any) episode with a

friend. 

Word of mouth builds podcasts - we appreciate your support!!



This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

Transcripts

We feel it is important to make our podcast transcripts available for accessibility. We use quality artificial intelligence tools to make it possible for us to provide this resource to our audience. We do have human eyes reviewing this, but they will rarely be 100% accurate. We appreciate your patience with the occasional errors you will find in our transcriptions. If you find an error in our transcription, or if you would like to use a quote, or verify what was said, please feel free to reach out to us at connect@37by27.com.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

Sometimes in life we're aware that we want to make a shift or we want to make a change. We're aware that we want things to be better, that we want to have more joy, that we want to have a more rewarding life. And we don't always know where to start. So, today on The Grit Show, we're going to have an incredible guest who started a YouTube channel that is intended to be a guide, that is intended to be the way for you to have the steps laid out for you on how you can start to take one step at a time to get closer to having that chill, connected, rewarding life. I think you're going to get a lot out of today's conversation. I think you’ll be impressed. Stick around.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

Welcome to The Grit Show, where our focus is growth on purpose. I am your host, Shawna Rodrigues, and I'm honored to be part of this community as we journey together with our grit intact to learn more about how to thrive and how to get the most out of life. It means a lot that you are here today. As you listen, I encourage you to think of who may appreciate the tidbits of knowledge we are sharing and to take a moment to pass this along to them. Everyone appreciates the friend that thinks of them, and these conversations are meant to be shared and to spark even more connections.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

Zeke Kamm is skilled at using humor, vulnerability and storytelling to guide people to understand their why and reach their goals. After all, he's just trying to help them to have a more chill, connected and rewarding life. That's kind of his thing. I had the pleasure of meeting Zeke not that long after I moved to Bend, Oregon, where he currently resides. He has quite a history. His feature documentary, The Last Blockbuster, yes, you've heard of it. The one on Netflix, right? Has received worldwide media attention and multiple awards, including Best Feature at the prestigious San Francisco Doc Fest. He has decades of experience making hit tv shows and now is a motivational speaker, educator and comedian. We get to hear more about his incredible YouTube channel he has launched and more about what his unique perspective has to offer that may be of value to you or someone that you know.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

Thank you so much for being here with us today, Zeke.

Zeke Kamm [:

Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

Yes. So, what led you to go from being a creative and doing this creative work you've done? You have a long history. You have won prestigious awards for the work that you've done, and now you're transitioning over to helping others to be able to have a better life. Like, what made that transition for you?

Zeke Kamm [:

Well, I've always been a storyteller, so ever since I was a kid, I was fortunate that I got to go to film school, and I started working in the industry right out of film school. I just loved writing, creating, making films. And the stuff I worked on pretty early in my career has changed popular culture, and it's stuff that everyone has heard of. If they haven't seen it, they've certainly heard of it. Like, I helped develop the show The Powerpuff girls, which was very, very, very popular at one point.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

Yes, it was. That's very exciting.

Zeke Kamm [:

Yeah. And I just love to do it, and that's why I did it, was because I loved to do it, and that's what I wanted to do. And I wasn't afraid of working hard. And then I realized I wanted to start telling stories that mattered to me, that would affect people emotionally. Still, through comedy, almost everything I've written is comedy. But I find there's very few ways that can affect people more deeply, emotionally than by mixing comedy and pathos, right? So, the human condition, if you look at it, it's mostly comedy.

Zeke Kamm [:

Some of the best humor in the world comes from, I'd say most of it comes from the human condition. Looking for love and not being able to find it is hilarious as long as it's someone else. And then also just the contrast. You know, we're animals that are tuned, that have survived because of our high level of contrast detection, and that's visual, but also emotional. All the senses. We would not have survived if we didn't have such high levels of contrast detection. And so, contrasting humor with drama or sadness or pain makes both of them more intense. And as I developed the craft more of telling stories, and both visually and through words, I just realized that I wanted to tell stories that moved people. And I had a lot of shows and different tv shows in development, and movies in development, all these things. And then at a certain point, I had a son, and I didn't want to live in LA anymore, so I came up to Bend, and that was about 14 years ago. And I thought, I'll be out of the system, and I'll be able to tell stories that are the exact stories I want to tell, because everything I made had to go through filters of the people who were paying for it. The studios, you know, you can't make a tv show where every episode costs a million dollars and not expect someone to give you some advice.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

Yes. That makes perfect sense. And did you find that freedom then, as you moved and changed how you were doing things?

Zeke Kamm [:

Well, so I became an entrepreneur in order to be able to not work in the industry anymore. And I started, I wrote a couple of books that did really well about lighting for filmmakers and photographers. And then I started inventing gear for filmmakers, the kind of gear I wanted that no one was making. And I got some patents and I started a company and we produced the stuff. I'd fly over to China, and that was really popular. I launched a Kickstarter. It was at the right point in history to do a Kickstarter. And the product I invented; we sold over a million dollars worth the first year. So, my goal is always to please me. I should say that.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

That's a rare goal, but that's a good goal.

Zeke Kamm [:

My opinion has always been it's the responsibility of the storyteller to speak in the language of the person he wants or she wants to affect. And then, most recently, I did The Last Blockbuster documentary. And again, it won every award we went out for. It got news coverage all over the world. It was the number one documentary on Netflix for quite a while. There are very few people you can talk to that have, not everyone's seen it. They all know it came out.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

They've all heard of it. Yeah, exactly. Like, that's something everyone knows about. And it made blockbuster a topic again, because there is the last one, and that documentary did it.

Zeke Kamm [:

Yeah. I'm really fortunate. So, I'm thinking I want to do one more big thing before I retire, before I focus solely on spending time in warm places and surfing.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

Before you moved to Costa Rica.

Zeke Kamm [:

Exactly.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

Exactly.

Zeke Kamm [:

I spent a long time; I spent almost two years developing what I wanted it to be. And at first it was going to be a newsletter or a blog or a tv show on tv, and just, nothing felt quite right. But the root of the idea was the same. And then it just occurred to me, I think the way to affect the most people is to just have it be a free thing that anyone can access on YouTube. And the mission is what I want again, it's what I'm searching for. And that's to live a chill, connected and rewarding life. It's not as easy as it seems when you just read that. If you've ever tried to live that kind of life, then you know it's not easy. It's simple, it turns out, but it's not easy. It requires some work; it requires some sacrifice. But I have figured out ways, basically, a pyramid where you can enter lots of different ways, right? It's really big at the bottom, and if you just take one step at a time, eventually you're at the top. But if you try to go right to the top, it's very difficult.

Zeke Kamm [:

So, I've just come up with things that have worked for me, and some people have said, wait, so then are you a life coach? No, not a life coach. A guide? Yes, because if someone else is on this path, and I think eventually, most people, hopefully, will want to be on this path, I think people that have a healthy sense of living, like, I would not have been on this path when I started in Hollywood, but I didn't have, I did know nothing for my, I had no boundaries for myself, right, with other people like that. I was very nice to other people, but people could be as horrible as they wanted to be. You know, from childhood trauma stuff. And I didn't think I want that. I wanted an extreme life. That's what I wanted then. And so, as I got older and suffered the pains of living an extreme life, I started to realize that this was what I wanted and a relaxing world. Deep connections. I think having connections with other people is the single most rewarding and valuable thing we can experience in life. That's my experience. And maybe I'll have an epiphany in 10 years, and it'll turn out it's playing video games or using social media, but I don't think so.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

I love that. And that's why I have a podcast network called Authentic Connections, because I definitely, we are on the same wavelength, with these connections being powerful and important for our well-being. So, that's amazing. And I love that you have, like, your entryway, like, your banner at the bottom of that pyramid is something people can see and look at and can go, yeah, that is what I want. I want more connection. I want more balance. I want to be chill. I love you have chill. I think when I met you, I said that I love that you have chill in the title because you don't think about that. But that relaxed, chill vibe is something I think a lot of people want. And yet that's not the first verbiage they think of, but they hear it and it resonates.

Zeke Kamm [:

Yeah. A lot of people think balance, and that's great, too. Balance, chill, kind of the same thing. But I've been a skateboarder since I was 6 years old, and for me, I wanted it to be authentic. That's one of the stones in the pyramid, is authenticity. I can't live a rewarding, connected life if I'm not authentic, or at least making an effort to be authentic most of the time. You can't be seen if you're not authentic. If you always have a mask on, you'll never be seen. And hopefully other people have felt seen many times in their lives. Except until about 10 years ago, I never really felt seen. And it took a couple years for me to realize that a big part of that was because there was a certain level where I stopped being authentic. It was subconscious, you know, it was from childhood traumas, but I only was authentic to a certain level. And then beyond that, my brain, I just slip into a coma.

Zeke Kamm [:

So, about 10 years ago, I had what my friend calls an episode. He's a therapist. He calls it an episode. I call it nervous breakdown. When I couldn't get out of bed for three weeks, I just cried the whole time. And I'm super grateful it happened because it forced me to take a different point of view on my life and the way I was living, things like that. And that's really what set me on the path that I'm on now. Took a long time, but when that happened to me, as I was starting to recover a few months later, looking for help, part of the reason it happened in the first place is because I would never let anyone help me, which I think is a fairly common affliction that definitely throttled my life for the first many decades. So, I started looking for help. And there's a lot of books on the self-help bookshelves. Most of them are not aimed at men. And I'm not a macho guy at all. I'm a feminist. I cry every chance I get. I don't think it makes you not masculine. You know, I'm masculine, but I'm not macho. And the world's very dangerous for macho men. Emotionally dangerous. And I wanted to create something that would be like a gateway drug to the self-help world.

Zeke Kamm [:

So, I created a show on YouTube that is a little silly. It has all the right information, all the stuff that I've done. You know, if you're starting down this path, I might be just a few months ahead of you, or I might be ten years ahead of you. But I'm hoping I can help guide you on the shortcuts so that you can get to the kind of life you want to have faster. A good buddy of mine, when I would tell him about stuff I was doing, especially with my son. So, I have a 15-year-old, and I believe that every obstacle, every argument, every disagreement is an opportunity to have a deeper connection, to form a deeper connection, whether it's with a stranger or more importantly, with family members or your children, most important, probably. If you look at the world that way, then you might get angry in a situation. You might feel betrayed, even if that wasn't the other person's intention. But after you take a breath, then you can say, okay, how do I take this what could be a difficult situation? How do we come out of it even more connected, even loving each other at an even deeper level? And I'm telling this to my friend, who is, he's, I do stand-up comedy with him. That's how we met. And he goes, dude, I'm going to start calling you Malibu dad.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

I love it.

Zeke Kamm [:

And so, the original version of this idea was called Malibu dad because the idea that, like, in my mind, Malibu dad is a guy who just looks at the ocean, does yoga, wants to surf, and wants to have this chill, connected, rewarding life. So, if I write a book, I may call the book Malibu dad.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

That will probably work. Having someone one step ahead of you or ten years ahead of you, but someone that's on that journey instead of someone who is in a whole different realm and just talking this language that doesn't connect, that feels like they're looking down on you and doesn't get it, can be the disconnect sometimes. So, it's actually very valuable to have you on this path where you are trying to be the guy, be the Sherpa that is leading people up this pyramid and showing them the tools in a way that feels very connected and very conversational and very, like, let's go on this path together. And we're all learning this together. Instead of it being that I'm up here and I know all the answers already. So, I really value and appreciate that. Yeah.

Zeke Kamm [:

I didn't build pyramid. I just have had to go up it myself. And so, I know which steps worked for me. You know, I didn't study it in college. I studied filmmaking. I like to point that out to people. Use my suggestions at your own risk. I went to film school. Unless I tell you how to frame your selfie, in which case, you should definitely listen.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

Yes, definitely. And right now, his lighting is amazing. I'm thinking, like, I need this guy's lighting. It's beautiful. So, yes, he's got that down dialed in.

Zeke Kamm [:

Well, I've written books on it, so it's cheating. But, yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

Now it all makes sense. I was admiring. I'm like now I feel better because he is the expert in this. So, that works.

Zeke Kamm [:

I have read about it. I've done the research, for sure. And then I've done things that some people have suggested and they didn't work for me, and I won't be suggesting those things to people. Right now, most of my episodes are between five and ten minutes long, some are a little bit longer. But having an audience that doesn't quite know they need it yet isn't the smartest thing to do business wise. It's not the easiest thing. It's never stopped me before. I wanted to make a channel that I had wished was there when I needed it. That's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to make something that is genuinely me, that's authentic. And when I came to Bend, I assumed I would use the money for my entrepreneurial stuff to make an independent feature that was truly my own, without anyone else's. I mean, I would ask friends for input and stuff like that, but with no one forcing me to have to make changes I didn't want to make. And then I made The Last Blockbuster, which was completely independent. I made it with another filmmaker here in town, so fortunately, we were on the same page. But it was a combination of both of our voices. And this, this is the most me thing I have ever made.

Zeke Kamm [:

Sometimes I put something dumb in there and I think no one else is going to laugh at this, and I don't care. It is genuinely the most me, pure me thing ever that I have ever done in my life, in a life of being a storyteller, my whole and a creator, my whole life. So, it feels very rewarding and I'm very proud of it. Even though it hasn't exploded yet, though it is still very early in the process.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

I have a lot of women that listen to The Grit Show, on this podcast, and so I think that our conversation is valuable, period. But I also feel like they know men who are in their lives, whether it's their sons that are growing up, their partners, everything else. But as soon as I met you the first time, I immediately thought of men that I knew that could gain value from what you offer, and that it is a beautiful balance to The Grit Show. Whereas I have episodes that I know, I offer to men that I talk to, and I know that they enjoy. And there are men that listen to all these episodes. I see you. I appreciate you; I value you. But at the same time, like, there's this piece that, there's this direct whistle that kind of goes and connects with people in certain ways.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

And that your journey and your experience, I feel, will speak even more directly to certain groups and that I love that they're here and listening to this, but I would love for them to get to connect with you and maybe feel even more connected and even more related to your YouTube channel. And that's one reason why I don't put a lot of effort into being on YouTube, because that's not necessarily where the folks who are listening hang out, but they might have someone they know who does hang out on YouTube and might have an opportunity that maybe they should be listening to some of this journey on YouTube. And so, that's why I really value what you're doing, because I don't think there's enough opportunity for that. And I do see a great need and connection for that. So, that chill, relaxed piece, I think, can definitely with that connection and that they're like, oh, yes, I would love for them, my teenage son, who's becoming an adult, to have an opportunity to be aware that there's this option in life to find more connection and more chill and more rewarding pieces. And that for other people I know that I work with.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

So, I want to hear more about, like, this essential first step. So, you've said there's many entry points. I'm curious about, because you describe it as this journey. Like, is there a starting point? Do people need to start with a first step, or are there multiple ways in and it all comes together?

Zeke Kamm [:

Everyone definitely has to start with the first step. But you can either take the first step that will be the most productive, or you can take a first step that'll make it take longer, right? But you can't do any journey without taking a first step. I do want to say that although the show definitely, I think, will appeal to men, I don't exclude a women audience at all. I just know that there's already so many things that are specifically catered to women. This is more like, if Monty Python had a self-help show. I have a very high pattern recognition, and it served me extremely well in my career and in life. And combining that with what I call laziness and other people call efficiency, I have developed these strategies that make things easier. So, if you start with this first step, the one that I recommend to everyone and it's in my first episode, everything else is then easier. So, if you start with what I would suggest as the fourth step, let's say, or the 8th step, that 8th step for your first step is going to be a taller step. If it was physical steps, then maybe your first step to climbing really tall steps is to start stretching. Do you know what I mean?

Zeke Kamm [:

So, for me, the very first step, the essential first step, is meditating. And the first step of meditating is presence meditation. And the first step of presence meditation is taking a single conscious breath. So, I'm recovering type a. A lot of people are. And the thought of meditating used to send me into an anxiety attack. I was like, I'll be terrible at it. I can't sit for an hour and just focus on my breath. Well, the thing is, you don't have to. You literally can just take one conscious breath a day to start with and you'll get a benefit. There's scientific. I'm not like a big woo-woo guy. I lean more towards science. I think there's lots of stuff science hasn't explained yet. But I do think that all this stuff that a lot of people think of as woo-woo stuff, once science gets good enough, we'll figure out why, right? And they've done a ton of scientific research on meditation, and they have the data that shows.

Zeke Kamm [:

So, professional athletes, like football players, basketball players, these guys, they will spend hundreds of thousands of dollars in the team will, or millions of dollars to get a fraction of 1% better. They won't waste time on stuff that they don't know for sure will work. They teach these professional athletes presence meditation because it's so beneficial. So, why aren't we doing it? If you start with just one conscious breath a day, if you can't take one breath, you're going to die because you have to breathe. So, the only difference between breathing without thinking about it and taking a conscious breath is that you say to yourself, I'm going to take a conscious breath. And as you breathe in, you think I'm breathing in. And as you breathe out, you think I'm breathing out. It's not a very long time for your brain not to get distracted. And if it does get distracted, awesome. Try it again.

Zeke Kamm [:

One of the most valuable things I ever took in from receiving led meditations was because I'm a competitive person, recovering competitive person. Someone said that the most benefit you get out of a meditation is when you return to the presence of the meditation. So, not being present, you don't get that much from. Being present, you get a lot from. But the journey between the two is where you get the most benefit. And so, once I realized that, I stopped distracting myself with judging myself on not being good at meditating, because anytime I screwed up, it was just another opportunity for the most valuable part of meditating. And so, if it freaks you out, the thought of meditating at all, you can at least do a breath, and you might like it a lot, or you might not get much of an effect. Some people who do a single meditative presence breath are shocked at how powerful that is. And then maybe after you've done it once a day, every day, I mean, keep breathing the rest of the day. I'll never get extra views on my videos if you die right away.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

Well, good. We got to look out for that. We got to look out for that.

Zeke Kamm [:

I mean, if you can do three, do three. And if on your third one or your second one, you're like, did I leave the fridge open? Or whatever, just say, oh, that's okay. Here's an opportunity to come back to my breath again. And then you take a conscious breath. You can do walking presence meditations. So, you don't have time to take one conscious breath when you're walking or you don't have time to walk, when you're going from the bed to the kitchen to get your coffee. Just notice how your feet feel as you're stepping.

Zeke Kamm [:

There's all these very, very simple, yet really effective ways to snap yourself into presence. And the more you do it, the easier it gets. And there's times I've done more than hour long presence meditations. I don't enjoy them, so I stopped doing them. And most of the time I do 15-ish minutes. The trick is, one of the guided meditations I took said, this is, it's not a competition. And I was like, oh, I did make it a competition.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

Well, I love the concept that I had not heard before that the most beneficial piece was when you're transitioning to bring yourself back to presence. Because I think that's the piece that I also work on the most, is that transition. Because I can remember just taking yoga classes, trying to stay focused in a yoga class is enough of a challenge for me that I do better with the ones that keep telling me what to do so I don't have to, like, try and center my own mind.

Zeke Kamm [:

Those are great, too. I did that for about three years. I only did guided meditations, and there's plenty of free apps you can get to put on your phone that offer tons, lots of different kinds so you can keep going through until you find one you like. But the one I found that I liked the most was a breath meditation. And I just felt like that was the easiest one. And then when I realized that sometimes if I was feeling anxious about something, if I would just take one conscious breath, that I already started to feel better. And so, I thought, oh, I should tell people, like, once you're more present and less anxious, it's easier to do all the other things because some of the other things you're going to want to do, you're going to need to do are hard. And it's much easier to do hard things if you're present and you're in a balanced place.

Zeke Kamm [:

One of the episodes I have is about that you don't need to use willpower. But the problem a lot of people have with success achieving whatever it is they want is that they're just trying to use their willpower. And willpower is a finite resource. You will run out. If you use it, you will run out. And so, that episode, I won't get into it now, but that episode has different tricks that I use that physically uses a different part of your brain. Scientists know which part of your brain is being activated when you're using willpower and why it runs out. And you can use other tools and techniques that are firing different parts of your brain so that you're not using the willpower part of your brain.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

That is fabulous. I mean, we've had conversations on here about the fact that willpower is finite. And so, the reason you can't make good dinner decisions and eat healthy at the end of the day is because you've ran out of your decision making and your willpower by the end of the day. So, that is a good resource. We're going to have to link that episode in the show notes so folks can just flip over to YouTube and be able to watch that because I think that'll be a very valuable tool for them to be able to recognize that there's other options.

Zeke Kamm [:

People think I have so much willpower and I'm like, no, I have no. I have less willpower than you do. I just don't use willpower to achieve the things I want to achieve.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

Yes, because you live a chill, connected and relaxed, is it relaxed life? Is that the last one?

Zeke Kamm [:

Rewarding.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

Rewarding. Better. This is way better. Way better. Yes. That's how it gets to be. Rewarding was when you have the chill and connected, it can be rewarding when you have those tools that you can actually utilize. That's so valuable. I really appreciate that. And so, the biggest thing is just to pay attention to breathing in and breathing out. That's the key to it, right?

Zeke Kamm [:

Yeah, that's what you're doing anyway. So, just put your phone down for a second and realize that's what you're doing. You can even do that when you're driving as long as you don't close your eyes.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

Keep your eyes open while you're focusing on your breath. And that's what the key is because we do that with kids. So, my previous life was working with kids, and we do, like, the belly breaths and we do the blowing at the candles for the fingers that we help to use to calm kids down. So, we have visuals and tools to help them to focus on our breath. But really, it's just that focusing on breathing in.

Zeke Kamm [:

You can do any of those things. It's just being present. If you're typing on the computer, you can just feel what it feels like. Most of the time when you're typing, you're not registering what your fingers feel like against the keys. But if you do, well, now you just snapped into presence and your brain rewards you for that and can't be present all the time. That's like super high level yogi stuff. But the more you do it, the more reserve you have for the difficult things in your life.

Zeke Kamm [:

One of the episodes is about letting go of things you can't control. Because a great shortcut to a not chill, disconnected, unrewarding life is holding on to things you can't control. So, if you can realize which things, you have control over and which things you don't and which ones are kind of in between those two, there's quite a lot. I call it the jelly zone. Quite a lot in there that you have some influence over, but you don't really control it. Like, how your partner feels about you only eating pizza for 30 days straight or something. You have some control, but not a ton. I have an episode that's about how to be more productive or more efficient and all that kind of stuff. Because these are all the different things that add up to being able to have a chill, connected, rewarding life.

Zeke Kamm [:

But the most important is, can you be present? Are you able to reset yourself when things are hard so that you can push through the hard things I talk about, like goal achievement. I had a consulting business for quite a while, and it was all really big companies, and they would ask me to help them share their brand story, right? And I would say, great, what's your brand story? And they're like, yeah, we need help with that, too. And I'd say, okay, so what's your goal? And they're like, you know, to make more money or have more followers or blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, okay, but why is that your goal? Because you need to have all these things in alignment in order for me to draw a map that gets you where you want to go. I have an episode about this also. And I say, if I put you in a car, it doesn't matter how cool that car is. And I say, go. You're never going to get where you want to be. You might have an interesting ride, but you're never going to get where you want to go because you don't know where you want to go. And then if you know where you want to go, I hope you know why. Because otherwise when you get there, you're like, well, what was the point? And I think a lot of people, especially type a's, but not knowing why you want that goal is so much more important, so much more important to fix than how to get that goal. These are all the kind of things that they just all fall under the umbrella of having a rewarding life for me. Other people, I don't know. I haven't walked in their socks, so I don't know.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

That's so valuable. I really appreciate the breadth that your show offers and that it is that path that folks can follow, but the importance of having that first step that we were able to cover, and I love it because as we get to our grit wit, which is our message and our takeaway, I feel like that's exactly what folks need to do, is to be able to find what they can do to get to find that presence on a daily basis, like, what's going to be their time and their space, where they can find that breath that they can take in and take out and be present with it and to be able to focus on that. And so, I like your idea of, like, going to get that cup of coffee, right?

Zeke Kamm [:

It can really be anything. If someone like, my son loves fashion, he loves urban fashion in particular, right? Shirts that are, you buy them, they're already ripped, that kind of thing. But whatever. If you like fashion, if what makes you feel better is to go out and buy a new dress or whatever, I'm not saying don't do that, but when you're there, put your hand on the fabric, like, look at the fact. Why do you want that dress? Like, really be in the moment, smell it and use your senses and be in the moment. And maybe you don't need to buy the dress. If you want to buy it, buy it. I don't care. Not coming out of my account.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

Yes. So, find your moments and be in them.

Zeke Kamm [:

Yes. It can be anything. If you're really stressed out, every time you walk through a doorway, think I'm walking through a doorway. No judgment at all, right? It's really important. No judgment. And it can just be for a split second. But if you do that throughout the day, there's a very high likelihood at the end of the day you're going to sleep better. And that's another one of the bottom blocks that you got to get under control to be able to do all the other stuff is getting good sleep. So, I have an episode on that also.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

Lots to catch up on. And you recommend following them in order so you can get the path, right?

Zeke Kamm [:

No, you can really do it in any. But if you want, I have put them up. The first ten are in that specific order so that it's a little easier to do all the other things. Yeah. And hopefully the show's entertaining. It's definitely got some goofy stuff and it's light hearted, although it's awesome. You know, there's pathos and meaningful, and I share some very vulnerable, painful stories of things that have happened to me in my process, hoping that it will encourage other people to do the same.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

Yeah. The sharing of our stories is how we feel more connected. That is part of that process.

Zeke Kamm [:

Yeah, for sure.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

It's very valuable and so good you shared it. So, YouTube, that's the best place to find you. Is it best to just search your name?

Zeke Kamm [:

You can go to YouTube and search for Zeke Kamm. I think it's @Zeke_Kamm. I think that works. Or you can just go to my website, which is zekek.com, and there's a link there to it.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

Perfect. So, we will have all of that in the show notes, and we'll make sure that we also include a link specifically to the episode that you mentioned that talked about the willpower stuff. So, we'll make sure that we have that available for folks. And so, the other piece that we do as we're winding up is to talk about our self-maintenance minute. And it sounds like you've already kind of given us that. But is there something beyond what you shared that can kind of give us an idea of what else you do to take care of yourself on a regular basis beyond what we've already talked about?

Zeke Kamm [:

Yeah, it's definitely the sleep is something I'm very strict about, but I think it's in one of those episodes. But it's making rules for myself. Yeah, it's in the willpower episode. Not to give too much away, but one of the ways I practice self-care and self-maintenance is I make rules for myself that are good for me. I don't use them as punishment. You know, I eat an extremely healthy diet most of the time. I am strict about my sleep schedule most of the time. I have a strict exercise schedule. I have rules about how much and what kind of exercise I do. And I am really good at following my own rules. If you give me rules, eh, wishy washy, who knows? Or anything could happen. But if they're my rules, I've worked very hard at practicing making my rules strict. And I also give myself grace from time to time, which is extremely important part of self-maintenance and self-care. But I have a set of rules that help me move in the direction of my goal, that supports the why for me, giving myself time to just goof off.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

That's nice. Knowing what's best for you, paying attention to that, and then actually making rules and plans around, sticking to that.

Zeke Kamm [:

Yeah, it's a lot easier for me because I don't work that hard, but I follow the rules. And if one of the rules is to work hard, then I work hard.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

So, you can change the rules, or, the rules change?

Zeke Kamm [:

They evolve. It's difficult to do it in reverse order, but, like, oh, I'll say, oh. I've been feeling like I've had brain fog lately. That happened a couple years ago. And so, I did a bit of research and turned out that some of the food I was eating causes brain fog on a lot of people, like stuff that's inflammatory. And so, I was like, okay, I'm going to, I like to experiment. You don't have to dig that deep to find the things you would like about doing something that you wouldn't like otherwise. So, I would like to just eat pizza and ice cream all day, maybe some French fries. But, you know, I read this thing and it says this eating this way can help reduce this and that. And here's some other positive side effects of doing changing your diet this way and that way. And I'm not telling people to change your diet. I don't have any videos. Maybe someday I will, but I don't have any videos about diet, food. I think food is one of the most personal things in the world, because there's not a lot of things you actually put inside your body willfully. And so, people have to make those decisions on their own.

Zeke Kamm [:

But for me, I was sick of feeling groggy and brain foggy, and I just didn't feel good. And so, I was like, okay. And so, I tried these different, there were several options. Just search diet on Google, you'll see there's quite a few billion options. And I did that until I found one that made me feel good. And I was like, okay, you're going to eat like this 90% of the time. And then I'd be like, can you, do it? It's a challenge. And because I'm competitive, it was fun for me to see if I could do it. And most things after you do it a while, they're not really that hard. If you look at it the right way, you can start to enjoy it.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

Putting the rules in place that work for you. And then it sounds like you get the why behind them, so you stick to them and they definitely make a difference. Wonderful. Well, thank you so much for being here. We'll make sure we have the links in there so folks can find you on YouTube and be able to stay connected to you and your website as well. So, thank you so much. And we enjoyed learning more about Malibu dad. I'm excited for that to eventually become a book.

Zeke Kamm [:

Well, I haven't talked about him anywhere but here, so it's a secret just for you guys.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

It's a secret just for us. Just for us. We'll take it. We won't tell anyone else. Thank you so much. It was wonderful having you, Zeke.

Zeke Kamm [:

Thank you very much. It was great to be here.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

Thank you for joining us today. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Be sure to jump on over to Instagram and follow us at The.Grit.Show. And if you aren't already following Authentic Connections Podcast Network at 37by27, you should definitely be doing that as well. Don't forget, you are the only one of you that this world has got. And that means something. I'll be here next Tuesday. I hope you are, too.

Links