In this episode of the Connected Pleasure Podcast, I’m joined by Eve Hall — pelvic floor physical therapist, intimacy coach, and host of the Please Me Podcast — for a powerful conversation about sexual health, orgasm equality, and women reclaiming their pleasure.

We explore why the orgasm gap exists, how cultural conditioning and misinformation about women’s bodies impact intimacy, and why penetrative sex alone is rarely enough for most women. Eve breaks down female arousal, the importance of time, blood flow, and clitoral stimulation, and why pleasure is something that can be learned, expanded, and reclaimed.

We also talk about Big Clit Energy — the confidence and vitality that comes from knowing your body and owning your desire — and how closing the orgasm gap benefits everyone, not just women.

This episode is educational, affirming, and deeply empowering for anyone ready to stop settling and start experiencing pleasure as a vital part of wellbeing.

Connect with Eve Hall:

1. Website: https://pleaseme.online
2. Contact Page and Social Media: https://pleaseme.online/get-in-touch/
3. Substack Newsletter: https://pleaseme.substack.com
4. Patreon (Ad-Free & Bonus Content): https://patreon.com/PleaseMePodcast
5. Shameless Care: https://shamelesscare.com/

If you’re feeling called to stay in touch with Kayla:

1. Join the waitlist for the Sacred Desire course
2. Book your Liberation Wisdom session
3. Join my Newsletter Community
4. Support this podcast and leave me a tip!
5. Book 45 minute consultation
6. Email me at kayla@connectedpleasurecoaching.com with any questions

Welcome beloveds, to the Connected Pleasure Podcast. I am your host, Kayla Moore, certified sex therapist turned pleasure priestess and feminine liberation coach.

This is a sacred space where we burn down the old narratives and rise into a new way of being, one led by intuition, pleasure and embodied truth.

Together we explore sexual healing, feminine liberation, and the reclamation of your sovereign power in a world that benefits from your disconnection.

In every episode, we peel back the layers of indoctrination, remember what is ours, and weave pleasure back into the collective consciousness one brave conversation at a time. You belong here. Your pleasure belongs here. Let's rise. This podcast is for education and inspiration only.

If you're wanting to explore pleasure more fully for yourself, I invite you to go deeper with me through the offerings linked in the show notes or through the the offerings of my guests.

If you're unsure whether one of these containers or a therapeutic approach would best support you, you're welcome to schedule a free 45 minute consultation with me. Together we can explore what path is in your best interest and if I am not the right fit, I'll be glad to connect you with the resources you need.

Welcome beloveds, back to the Connected Pleasure Podcast.

I'm Kayla, your host.

I go by she, her hers, pronouns and today I am back with a guest, the beautiful Eve Hall.

I was on her podcast recently that will be coming out soon, and I have Eve on today to talk a little bit about who she is, what she does, the amazing podcast that she has, and the beautiful work that she is doing around the sex, sexual health and women reclaiming orgasm.

So welcome Eve, and if you could tell my listeners a little bit more about who you are, what you do, and kind of how you came to be in the realm of sex, that would be so cool.

Absolutely. I'm so happy to be here on your show today.

Thank you so much for inviting me on my the name of my show is called Please Me Podcast and it really aims to destigmatize conversations about sex and sexual health. I by trade am a licensed physical therapist and have had many hats throughout my journey as a physical therapist.

The most recent one is a pelvic floor physical therapist which really dives deep into sexual health conditions. So I treat sexual health conditions like erectile dysfunction, its female equivalent, which is decreased vaginal sensitivity and dryness.

I also treat things like premature ejaculation, painful sex, incontinence, et cetera. So it really is sort of like an all encompassing sexual health specialty.

And my show talks a lot about that and about all the other fun Sexual health and sexuality topics that I love to cover. I love talking about kink. I'm definitely one for exploring that area myself. So it has been a big focus.

In the last season I did a big kink series and I had five amazing female dominatrixes on the show, which was really fun to interview them and learn from them. So that was really fun. And you know, I cover all sorts of things, relationship wise, et cetera. And so that's what I do.

I treat sexual health conditions in my practice. I also do intimacy coaching and health coaching. And I love to help women to reclaim their sexual power and to get on that road to sexual liberation.

And the reason why I am where I am today in this space is because I myself, after my divorce, I was in a sexless marriage for many years, got on my own journey and on my own road to sexual liberation. And that has been such an awakening, amazing journey for me.

And I realized that there was a lot of things that I didn't know about sex, particularly about orgasms. And, and once I knew it, I felt like everyone should know these things too.

And so that was one of the reasons why I started my podcast, because I really wanted to share this information with other women.

Because if you are in a marriage where you're not experiencing orgasms or you're in a relationship where you're not experiencing orgasms, that is a very common journey for women, unfortunately. And when I look back at my history and my partners in the past, I realize that in many of those relationships there was an orgasm gap for me too.

And so it, it is possible to close that gap for yourself, but you need to do it very intentionally. And so I love spreading the word about the orgasm gap and my orgasm revolution.

I love that.

And like you're saying so many women experience relationships where either sex is not happening at all or like you're saying the orgasm gap where sex is more for the partner, usually in heterosexual relationships, for the male partner, because that's what we've been taught is to be pleasing our partner instead of it being a co creation of pleasure together. And can you speak a little bit more to like, what is the orgasm gap? Why has that happened?

Like, why do we have this, like all the gaps that we have for women? There's so many gaps in our society for women, but this specific gap is really important to talk about.

So can you explain it a little bit more and like how we came to be here talking about the orgasm gap?

Absolutely. I, you know, I didn't know about the Orgasm gap.

Ten years ago myself, you know, I really had experienced, experienced it, but didn't actually know that it was like a quote unquote thing, you know what I mean? Where like many women experience this very same thing.

So the orgasm gap is basically in heterosexual relationships a gap that exists where men are having more orgasms than women are. And that goes across the board from hookups all the way to marriage and every type of relationship in between in heterosexual relationships.

Now you mentioned heterosexual relationships before and you know, in gay relationships, women, women with women and men with men, there is not an orgasm gap, okay? There's. The gap doesn't exist. Why?

Because in those relationships, communication has to happen prior to the act itself to know what you like, what you don't like, what you're willing to do, what you're not willing to do. And that conversation is very extensive.

And then in kink relationships the conversation also happens where you're talking about what your turn ons are, what your turnoffs are, what your hard limits are, what your, you know, soft limits are, you know, all of the things that go along with sex, sexual exploration. But in heterosexual relationships, we are not having these conversations, unfortunately.

And what ends up happening is that we automatically assume that our partner is going to know exactly what buttons to touch to turn you on. And that is just a really stupid assumption. You know, we not are just because we're with, you know, the, a person of the opposite sex.

That doesn't mean that that person is going to know what turns you on.

Every single person is different and they need to figure out what those turn ons are for themselves so that they can communicate that information to their partners. And we aren't having these conversations. So this is why the orgasm gap exists, Number one, because of communication.

Number two, because everything that you see in movies and on television is always penetrative sex, right? Even in porn, porn is mostly male centered. Okay? There is female centered porn out there and you have to usually purchase it. Okay?

So the free stuff that you see is typically male centered porn, meaning that it's, you know, male pleasure driven.

So you're seeing a lot of oral sex on a man, you're seeing a lot of penetrative sex, which is the way that men orgasm, but it is not the way that women orgasm. 95% of women need external clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm and a lot of people don't realize that.

So women will masturbate and have no problems masturbating and coming to climax.

But then when they go into the bedroom, they're not translating that information from what they already know works for them to the bedroom and telling their partner, you have to touch me like this or you have to touch me here, or you have to use this toy on me here or let me use this toy in conjunction with penetration in order to get pleasure meet, my pleasure needs met. We're not able to translate that information and have those conversations.

And so it's so important to communicate and also to understand that what you're seeing in the media is not necessarily how women climax.

Yeah, exactly. And I will also just add that the time that it can take for women to fully go through their arousal cycle tends to be a little bit longer.

It's not always the case, but women tend to get stuck in that too. That we have been conditioned to be as fast or efficient in our orgasms as men have been. And our cycle of arousal is different than what men's is.

And so oftentimes it historically has been where men tend to finish, quote, unquote, finish or orgasm. And then women just feel like I guess we're done or both parties are like, I guess we're done.

Cuz that's what we've been taught, that when men finish, then we're done. And don't allow women to go full their full arousal cycle. And I think that also contributes to the orgasm gap as well. But yes, everything you said.

Right on, right on.

What women need to know about their bodies and yeah, how we translate what we do in our own private little space when we orgasm or not when we orgasm, when we masturbate to being with a partner.

And for a lot of women that feels really vulnerable to have to step into a space of saying, hey, this is what I want and need for my own pleasure and how can we help me get to where I need to go as well as you. So that's really hard for women and I'm so glad that you are championing that. Can you talk a little bit about.

You have kind of a mission, an orgasm revolution that you are committed to creating. Can you talk a little bit about that and what that means to you?

Absolutely. So I started the orgasm revolution almost two years ago now in February, right around Valentine's Day.

And basically what the orgasm revolution is, is bringing awareness to the orgasm gap. So anybody can join the revolution.

You just have to go to my website, get a T shirt that says orgasm equality on it and purchase it and then take a picture of yourself in that T shirt and tag me so I can, you know, Add it to my Instagram and all my other socials. But basically, what I want people to write in that post is the definition of what the orgasm gap is and why it's.

Why it's important to them to spread this information to other people. And. And so I invite anyone who's listening to join the orgasm revolution, because I really do think that this is something that.

Because we don't talk about sex and sexuality enough, a lot of people don't understand that there is an orgasm gap. And there is. It. It.

It does exist, and it's very common, and most women will experience it in their lifetimes, especially if they're in heterosexual relationships. It's considered that 80% of women, or the statistics are that 80% of women have faked orgasm in their lifetime.

And I know that I'm raising my hand for that. In the past, that has happened to me too, where I have just decided that I wanted to, like, get it over with. Right. And so I've faked it.

And why is it that we're faking it? We're faking it because we're not enjoying it for one reason or another. And why aren't we enjoying it? We should be enjoying it.

I mean, sex is pleasurable, and if you're not enjoying it, you're not doing it. Right? Right. You're not having those conversations. You're not communicating with your partner.

Maybe it's too much focus, the male pleasure, and not enough focus on the female pleasure. And you mentioned time.

You know, men can get an erection and are ready for, you know, penetration within minutes, but women take 20 to 25 minutes to get ready for penetration.

Something really interesting happens in the vagina, and it takes time for the vulva and the clitoris to get engorged and get filled with blood and be ready for the tenting to occur in the vaginal canal, where the vaginal canal actually elongates, which is kind of unbelievable if you think about, like, how amazing our bodies and our anatomy is, you know?

But if you don't wait that 20 to 25 minutes for your vagina to elongate and be ready for penetration and get all of that blood flow in your vulva and your vaginal canal and your clitoris, you're not going to experience the same amount of pleasure than if you gave yourself time to really get those juices flowing. Right. And so it's just so important to. To really educate people and to empower women, um, to know what the orgasm gap is.

And so that's why I Created the orgasm revolution to really spread that message as much as possible?

Yes, yes.

And one thing that I really love about your work in terms of doing pelvic floor physical therapy, most of the pelvic floor physical therapists that I know that I have worked with focus mainly only on women. And I totally get that because again, women need a lot of help and support.

But I love that you also still work with men because I do think that men also have a lot of scripts and narratives that they've been taught that also are creating this orgasm gap, are also creating a lot of the sticky points that again, mainly heterosexual couples experience in the bedroom together.

And so in terms of talking about the orgasm gap, talking about the orgasm revolution, do you feel like this is also information that men need to know as well so that they are supportive partners and can be there to really say, like, oh, yeah, like your body takes longer to get to this place of arousal than it does for mine. So let's put, you know, ourselves at ease and make it known that this is just a normal thing.

I feel like both parties really need to know this, not just women. How do you feel about that?

100%. Yes, absolutely. Men need to know this information just as much as women do.

And it's interesting because my focus on my show was really about women for, you know, for it has been.

I mean, I do episodes on erectile dysfunction and other male centered conditions as well, but really my show has been 50% men and women from the beginning. Because I really feel like this information is information that men want to know about too.

They want to know how to pleasure their partners and how better to know than to come from a woman who is trying to, you know, get this information out there. So, yes, men definitely want to be active participants in the love making.

They want to pleasure their partners, and the only way that they can do that is by us being very honest about what buttons to push. And.

And so, yes, absolutely, men want to know all about the orgasm revolution and all about the orgasm gap and how to close it for themselves and their partners. Nobody wants an unsatisfied partner. Men want to have more sex, right? In relationships, most of the time, right?

Men want to have more sex, and if their partner is not satisfied, they're not going to have as much sex. Right? So in order for them to want to get more sex, they need to pleasure their partners more and they want to do that.

And I think it's also sort of like, you know, a pat on the back almost when a man can get his partner to reach orgasm. It makes them feel good about themselves. Right. And so. And they can say, hey, I did that. You know?

And so I think it's important for men to educate themselves as well.

Yeah, absolutely. So you have a term that I really love. It's called big clit energy.

Can you talk a little bit about how you came up with that and what that means to you and in your work?

Absolutely. Bigfoot energy was something that I coined after I did a search for the female equivalent of big dick energy. Right.

Because I wanted to talk about sexual confidence and how that energy and that confidence can really translate to all areas of our life. Our sexual center is our creative center. And so it is really the life force that gives us energy throughout our lives.

And if we are not plugging into that center and, you know, giving that center lots of attention, we're going to not be as creative or, you know, as excited and happy and joyous in our lives. Right.

And so big clit energy was my attempt to come up with the female equivalent of big dick energy, which is male confidence in, you know, your sexuality. So big clit energy, the clit is actually the female equivalent of the penis, and it is an organ that is actually almost as big as a penis.

You only see the tiny little nub on the outside of the body. Right. And that a lot of times people think, well, that's the clitoris. But no, it's very extensive of an organ, and it's mostly internal.

Um, but it does need to fill up with blood, just like the male penis does, and get engorged with blood in order for the woman to be prepared and ready for sex. So, you know, big, clean energy is basically a woman's ability to have confidence in her sex life.

And when a woman has confidence in her sex life and in her ability to have many orgasms, when she wants to have orgasms, and, you know, be able to communicate with her partner, et cetera.

That energy, that confidence is really going to translate into all areas of our life, whether it be the boardroom or whether it be, you know, speaking engagements or any other area of your life. It's going to translate because confidence in your sexuality is really confidence in your creative nature.

Yeah.

And I think you kind of already answered a question I was going to ask you around.

When women feel this feeling of, like, sex isn't for me or I'm okay being in a relationship, that my sex life isn't great because it's not a big deal. I'm busy with all these other things I have.

So much other things on my plate, maybe as a parent or, you know, at work, that I think a lot of women downplay what sex and pleasure means or what the value is in their life. And so you just kind of underscored it with your comment there. But is there anything else that you would say around that?

If a woman came to you and is like, I'm fine not having sex. I'm fine not getting pleasure. I'm fine not having orgasms consistently or maybe even at all, what is kind of your response to that?

Well, if the person is single, you know, then I say, okay, do what you do, what's best for you. You know, there are some people that are asexual and really don't like to have sex that much.

And they typically, if they're asexual, will have sex if they're in a relationship, but they do it for their partner, not for themselves. And they may actually even enjoy it, but it's not something that they want to do all the time.

So everybody has, you know, different levels of what's comfortable for them in terms of, like, how much sex they want to have.

Yeah, but if you are in a relationship, in a marriage or in a relationship where you are having sex with your partner, and, you know, a lot of times it starts out hot and heavy at the beginning, right. And everybody's sort of like, you know, trying to put their best foot forward, etc.

And, you know, if the woman is not communicating their desires, maybe the sex isn't as good as you think it is. Right. And as time goes on, it just becomes less of a priority because it's really not getting you, you know, the satisfaction that you want.

So why put any effort or energy into it? The problem with that is that there can be, you know, discrepancy in terms of whether your partner wants more and you want less. Right.

And if that's the case, then your partner is going to be dissatisfied in the relationship. So you have to think about how to, you know, keep your partner and yourself satisfied in your sexual relationship throughout the entire relationship.

It's not just the beginning, and then it sort of dies down. You want to have a great sex life throughout your whole life.

And if you're not putting the time and energy into creating a space for that, it's very, very easy for it to kind of get put down lower and lower onto the priority list.

So, you know, I think having a conversation with your partner in terms of, like, how often, you know, ideally you would like to have sex and how you can make that happen on a regular basis is really important in relationships because, you know. Yes. Most couples experience some discrepancy in their desire.

It's very rare to meet a partner where, you know, I say I want sex every day, and they say they want sex every day. It's very rare to find two people that are exactly the same. So.

So having these conversations is important so that everybody stays happy and satisfied. You don't want your partner to wander. Right. If you are in a monogamous relationship.

If you are not in a monogamous relationship, then, you know, having different options can work for you.

But, you know, in our society, most of the time, we're talking about monogamous relationships, and if there is a sexual desire discrepancy and you're not addressing it, it can really cause a lot of problem and havoc in your relationship.

Yeah, yeah. And I always preach to clients that it's more about quality over quantity.

I do think having those conversations is really important around if, you know, we have a huge discrepancy, like, how do we work to get it so that we both are feeling satisfied? And I think a lot of the problems tend to come from, like, the quality of the sex.

Because when the quality of the sex is the best that it can be and we're getting a lot out of it, then usually the quantity goes up because we want it more. So a hundred percent. Yeah. I think all of that is really, really important.

So you just mentioned, too, that there are going to be different seasons within a relationship, and sex can look very different from what it is at the beginning, when we're kind of in that honeymoon phase and we want to have sex all the time, usually because we're really getting to know each other and all those hormones are flowing to when things become a little bit more like, in the companionate love area, and we're more settled and safe with each other, but then we kind of have to create more of that energy and passion in our relationship again.

And a lot of different seasons, like pregnancy and birth or just aging in general can create, you know, physical issues that you then also can care for in doing pelvic floor physical therapy. So this is kind of my bridge into pelvic floor physical therapy. And you have a particular way of doing therapy that I have actually not heard before.

So I really wanted to talk to you about acoustic wave therapy and how that benefits the patients or clients that you see.

Absolutely. So acoustic wave therapy is a treatment that I do that helps treat conditions such as erectile dysfunction.

And its female equivalent, which is decreased vaginal sensitivity and dryness. That's a mouthful. But it's the same exact condition. Right.

And so the reason why these conditions exist is because over time, blockages form in our small blood vessels in and around our genital area, and those blockages decrease the blood that's flowing to either the penis or the vagina and surrounding tissue. Blood flow is essential, as we know, for a man to get a hard on. Right.

But for a woman, it's very essential to get a hard on too, which I like to call engorgement. Right.

If the blood doesn't flow to the vagina and surrounding tissue, what happens is the plasma from the blood can't seep through the walls of the vagina and surrounding tissue to wet the area.

That's how you actually get wetness, is by the plasma from the blood going to that area and seeping through the walls of the vagina and the clitoris and the vulva, et cetera. So women need blood flow, too.

And so what acoustic wave therapy does is it breaks the little blockages that are in the blood vessels and it allows them to flow away freely and safely. And over time, over the course of multiple treatments, it also increases capillary formation.

And capillaries are the teeny, tiny blood vessels that go to every single cell in your body. So capillaries are essential.

You have like, the bigger arteries and veins, and then as they split, get smaller and smaller and go to every part of your body, they become capillaries. And so acoustic wave therapy is. Is known to increase capillary formation.

And so over the course of time and getting multiple treatments, you're going to actually increase the blood flow to the genitalia. And so that's how acoustic wave therapy can help with those conditions.

Very cool. Very cool. So you have a very holistic way of working with people, which is great. I love that you are doing coaching for both.

It sounds like individuals and couples, as well as doing pelvic floor physical therapy, which helps with more of the biological, physical side.

So what does it look like typically when people come to you, who are, who are the people that typically show up to your door and what is usually the pathway that they take or the various pathways that they can take in the, like, ecosystem of your work?

Absolutely. So the first visit is always really getting to know the client or patient as much as I can.

I really like to dive into their medical history to make sure that there aren't any other conditions that might be contributing to the issues that they're having sexually. So we talk about their, you know, medical history, any surgeries that they might have had. Because surgeries can also affect our hormones.

For instance, if they've had, like, prostate surgery or if they've had, you know, a hysterectomy or have gotten their ovaries removed, et cetera, all of these things can affect hormones. We talk about hormones, we talk about most recent hormone tests, if they've had them.

And if not, we talk about maybe them exploring that with the doctor so that they can see if there's hormone issues that can be addressed as well. In conjunction with our therapy, you know, as we age, our hormones tend to go down and down, especially for women.

We start to lose estrogen, we start to lose progesterone, dhea, even testosterone is really important for women, too. Yeah, you know, a lot of men take testosterone, and that's something that's very common for men.

But for women, hormone replacement therapy has been, you know, kind of pooh, poohed on for the last 20 so or so years. But now all of those, you know, blacks, black box warnings are being removed. And now doctors are, are prescribing hormone therapy for women.

And having optimal hormone health is so essential. And I'm not talking about normal hormone health, quote, unquote. I'm talking about optimal hormone health.

And what that means is that as you get older, your hormones will go down and down and down. Right. And that's normal, but it's not optimal.

So giving your body those hormones can really help you to, you know, have more energy to decrease that brain fog, to decrease those hot flashes if you're experiencing those. I mean, there are many different menopause symptoms that I won't go into here.

But, you know, replacing hormones is essential for decreasing those symptoms and also for, you know, making sure that you maintain your libido throughout your life. And for men, you know, looking at their home hormones and testosterone is super important as well. And so we talk about that.

We also talk about nutrition during the evaluation and what they're eating, because, like I mentioned before, blockages are caused by our diet. And how can we make our diet healthier in order to support our sexual health?

So we go really through a whole gamut of questions and discussions, and then, you know, they get the treatment at the end. And I always love when I'm doing, especially acoustic wave therapy for them to, you know, let me know the next visit.

What, like, write down every single thing that you've noticed in terms of a difference, like on the Way home, I had a spontaneous, you know, erection at night. You know, I woke up with a.

More morning wood, which I hadn't woken up with morning wood in, like, months or years, you know, so all of the small changes, I like to know what they're seeing along the way, because sometimes it's really hard to see progress in this area, but when you look at it very specifically, it's. It really is amazing what the progress can be.

Mm, absolutely. And can anyone work with you, or does it have to be, like, do they have to be geographically close to you to do more of the physical therapy side?

So there's a lot that we can do as a virtual coaching session. If they want to get acoustic wave therapy, then they would have to come see me in person.

But I have an entire protocol that I do for men and women, and so I can certainly coach people into doing the other things that are part of the protocol that don't involve the actual physical acoustic wave therapy treatment. But that really is the gold standard. So I encourage people, wherever they are, to seek a practitioner or to come see me in Florida.

You know, some people have flown in and. And have gotten a couple treatments, and then they come back in, like, a month and then get a couple treatments.

So it's possible to work with me if you're out of state. But definitely there is a whole protocol that I can sort of guide you through even if you aren't getting the acoustic wave therapy.

Perfect. Very cool.

I haven't really talked about lube with anyone on my podcast yet, so because we still have a little bit of time, let's talk a little bit about lube and how lube can be helpful in all things sexual and orgasm like. But, you know, everyone kind of has their favorite lubes.

There are different types of lubes, so it's really important to know what type you're using and for what.

So I'm just gonna give you the platform to talk a little bit about why lube is important and how you help people understand what is best for them when it comes to lube.

Yes.

So lube is so important, and I'm so glad you asked me about it, because a lot of times I think people don't realize that, you know, even if they feel wet over time, that can evaporate if you're having a long, delicious session. Right. And nobody wants a quickie. Or at least I hate cookies. I personally hate quickies. So.

So, you know, if you're having a long, delicious session and there's a lot of Friction over time, things are going to evaporate. So using lube is so essential. And I want to say too, that it's not just for people that are, you know, in menopause. It is for all ages.

You know, people in their 20s can, you know, experience. Experience more pleasure with adding lube to the, the bedroom.

So definitely experiment with the different types of lubes that, you know, that you use. Everybody's gonna know, you know, what works best for them in their body. I personally love coconut oil.

Most people have it in their pantry and it tastes really good and it smells really good, and it's a great lube. Reapplying lube is essential too. A lot of times people think, oh, let me just put a little lube on at the beginning, and then they don't reapply it.

I say every time you have, you know, a change in position, reapply lube, or if you're starting to feel a little sticky or there's a little part, you know, of your skin that feels, you know, not as wet as it did before, reapply lube because what you don't want is for that tension to occur and that friction to occur where you have like a, a tear internally, vaginally, and that can happen when, you know, you feel really wet, but there's like a little patch that kind of dries out. So reapply. Reapplying lube throughout the experience is going to make sex so much more delicious.

And, you know, there's so many different types of lubes.

I like to talk about Bonnie's herbals because they have a really lovely sex butter lube that has a little bit of peppermint oil in it that helps to increase sensitivity for women or men. And so that's a lovely lube. There's another lube that I love to talk about too. It's called Aria, a luxury lubricant. And it is not cheap.

It's $50 per bottle. However, however, it is the longest lasting lube I've ever used. It really does last so long, super long.

And, and it keeps that, like, slippery feeling the whole time. And it's safe to use with condoms. So that's another, like, really great lube. I will say coconut oil is not good to use with condoms.

So trying to figure out if you're going to be using condoms on a regular basis, which lube works best for you. If you don't use condoms, which lube works best for you? You know, just depending on the, the person and their experience.

And what they're trying to get out of the sexual experience will dictate what type of lube that they use. But everybody should be on a quest to figure out what lube is best for them. Right. Because they're not all created equal.

Some of them, you know, are too sticky. Some of them, you know, maybe they're supposed to have a flavor, but it tastes disgusting.

So you want to try out the lubes and see which ones work for you.

Yeah, and I've had clients say, oh, I tried one lube and it didn't work.

It caused pain or burning even, which I think are probably more of the like water based lubes sometimes, especially depending on the quality, some are not the best quality and have things in them that are not things that we really want in our lubes. So like you said, continuing to find the lube that works for you is really helpful.

And if you're stuck going to a professional like us or even going to, you know, good quality sex store, they will tend to have really good recommendations on what types of lube.

Depending again, like, if you're using condoms, if you're using a silicone toy, whatever situation that you're in, they can tell you what is a good lube for that.

So, yes, I think it's so important for people to know about lube and the benefits of lube and the benefits of reapplying lube and making sure that, yeah, we don't have any friction because that, that doesn't feel good. We don't, we don't want friction in our sexual experiences.

So you keeping that lube in bed with you, you know, keeping it close by, don't just, you know, pump it on your hand and like put it far away. You're going to want to reapply it throughout the whole experience.

So put it in the bed with you, you know, and arm's reach that you can grab it at any point.

Because, you know, sometimes when you have a big long gap in, you know, you know, when you're switching positions, that can also cause men to have performance issues. So, you know, keeping it close so that you can keep it going is really great.

Yeah.

One like, little fact that I thought was so crazy it blew my mind when I heard it is just the fact that, you know, our skin, as we all know, is porous. Just like we put lotion and things on it and it absorbs into our skin. Our skin is porous. And so penises are porous.

The skin on penises is porous and it absorbs A lot of the female lubricant like you were talking about, I actually did not know that it comes from the plasma in our blood. And so I think again, a lot of women have been taught to feel like if I need lube that my body is doing something wrong. And it's really not.

It's like we do have natural lubricant, but sometimes, oftentimes it's not enough for the entirety of our sexual experience. Or sometimes it's just helpful to have more, depending on, again, what season of life you're in.

If you have vaginal dryness, whatever the case is, lube is just so helpful. So I think it's really great to like destigmatize. Like you said that lube is for everyone and penises are actually absorbing all of your juices.

So it's important to have some lube to reapply so that we can have enough lube for everybody.

Yeah. If you think about animals and you know, how they have sex. Right. And it's usually like just a few seconds. Right.

So you as animals, we have enough lube for like a few seconds or a few minutes of sex. Right. So that you can procreate. But if you are entering into the bedroom in and wanting pleasure. Okay.

Then lube is essential because lube is going to extend the pleasure. So think about it that way. If you want to have pleasure, always add lube.

Yeah.

Love that. Before we wrap up, you had mentioned that there are little kits that you are liking to talk about recently. I forget exactly what you called them.

So if you can remind me.

Sexual health bugout bags.

Yeah, Sexual health bugout bags. Can you talk a little bit about what that is and how that's helpful for people?

Yeah. So I love to talk about creating your own sexual health bugout bag and that, you know, putting whatever is important to you in that bag is essential.

So I always say condoms are important to have in there. Lube is important.

And knowing which lubes, you know, ones that work with condoms, ones that don't work with condoms, you know, depending on the experience, you're going to have having a sexual STI kit or sexually transmitted infection kit, putting that in that bag or getting yourself tested is so essential. And I work with a company called Channel Shameless Care that offers a 14 panel test.

And what I love about this company is that their testing kit includes oral and anal swabs.

So you're really getting a full picture of your entire health in your sexual health as opposed to just getting like the blood testing by itself, right.

Because a lot of times people can have a negative, for instance, gonorrhea test in their blood, but they have oral gonorrhea and can be spreading gonorrhea through oral sex.

So, so, you know, really getting a good, clear idea of what your STI status is, because that's going to be important to translate that information to any new partners that you have and then keeping that information in your phone so that you can easily share that with anybody that you might want to have, you know, sex with. So an STI kit, and then that company has other things like arousal cream for women that also has a little bit of tadanophil in it.

So it can help with female arousal. They have oxytocin nasal spray. They have something that I think has changed the trajectory of STI illnesses called doxy pep.

Have you heard of doxy papa?

I have not.

So it's basically an antibiotic that you take after an unwanted exposure.

So if you have a condom break, or if you have an unwanted exposure from oral sex, for instance, or if you tell the person, you know, I don't want to swap saliva or swap any kind of fluids and then they spit on you, that's an unwanted exposure. Right?

And so taking doxy pap is actually right after, within the first 48 hours after an unwanted exposure helps diminish gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis, the possibility of catching any of those things. So that I would put in your sexual health bugout bag to make sure that you have that in case of an unwanted exposure, et cetera.

So there's a bunch of things I've done a couple of episodes on, creating your own sexual health bugout bag.

And so that was one of the things that I wanted to talk to you about too, because I just think, think it's so important for people to, you know, one, enjoy their sexual health and their sexuality and their sex lives and try and make it the most amazing that it can be. But also two, prepare for the unexpected and sometimes the scary things that can happen in the bedroom, because sometimes scary things do happen.

Right? And one of those things, if you are in childbearing years, is pregnancy.

So also having on hand the morning after pill, which is readily available in most pharmacies, and you should always have it in your sexual health bugout bag, just in case, you know. So those are some of the things that I talk about in terms of the sexual health bugout bag.

I love that. That's.

It's like a little preparedness kit to especially, you know, if you are experimenting with different partners or dating, that you have a little wellness kit that you can bring with you and make sure that all your bases are covered, which was great.

A hundred percent. 100%, yes. And shameless care.

That company also offers, you know, doctor visits for things like if you have a urinary tract infection or if you have a yeast infection. Sorry, the word was kind of disappearing in my mind. If you have a yeast infection, they also offer treatment for that too.

In case, you know, you're out there and you don't want to go to the doctor. You don't have time to go to the doctor, but you need those medications.

You do a short form, the doctor reaches out to you via email, asks any additional questions, and then they will send the medication to your closest pharmacy. So it's a really great company for all sorts of sexual health issues.

Very cool. Very cool. Well, thank you so much, Eve, for being here today. I had such a great conversation with you. Can you tell my audience?

I will of course just link everything down in the show notes, but can you tell my audience where they can find you?

Absolutely. You can find me on PleaseMe Online. That is my website. And if you want to contact me, go to the contacts page. All of my socials are there.

So you can find all of the links if you want to follow me on any socials and then you can send me a note there on the contacts page. It goes directly to my email and I answer all of my emails. So, you know, please feel free to reach out to me and.

And, you know, if you also want to listen to my show, it's called Please Me and it is the number one sexuality podcast in the USA and worldwide. And so I'm really proud of that and I would love to, you know, have you listen as well.

Yeah, congratulations on that. That's really great stat to have for sure.

And I know you're helping a lot of people in all that you do, so I really appreciate having you on here and hope to have you back one day, too. So with that, take care, everyone, and I will see you or talk to you in my next episode. Take care.

Thank you.

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