We're about to dive into a topic that's anything but vanilla. Brace yourselves as I introduce you to our amazing guest, Mandela Linder, a sex and relationship coach extraordinaire! But before we embark on this steamy adventure, let me give you a little heads-up. This episode is all about intimate discussions, so make sure you've got your headphones on or find a cozy spot away from the kiddos.

Get ready for some amazing insights as we explore the world of a somatic-trained sex and relationship coach. Trust me, it's a whole new level of enlightenment when it comes to embracing our true selves, igniting pleasure, mastering communication, discovering hidden desires, and smashing those pesky stigmas tied to sexy talks.

Hailing from the mesmerizing landscapes of Northern California, Mandela now resides in the enchanting Sonoma County, where she helps men, women, and couples unleash their inner passions and live wildly joyous lives. When she's not spreading love and wisdom, she's out there in nature, getting in touch with her earthy side. She even recently conquered the Pacific Crest Trail!

Now, here's the scoop, my lovely mommas: In this episode, we won't be discussing the awkward "birds and bees" talk with your little ones. Nope, not today! This conversation is strictly for you and your adult partners. Get ready to spice up your life as we explore the tantalizing realms of intimacy, relationships, and self-discovery with the one and only Mandela Linder.

What you'll hear in this episode:

[5:20] What are some misconceptions about sex?

[9:05] The biggest misconception about sex is that it has to be perfect.

[12:10] How to have intimacy and playfulness outside of doing the deed.

[15:45] What are some fun at home activities that can allow you to connect more together?

[19:35] The betterment of the well individual vs. the sex negative culture

[22:55] What we’re taught in school about sex.

[30:20] Dating yourself and honoring your body.

CONNECT WITH MANDELA:

Follow Mandela: @mandela_linder

Check out her website to learn more about her services:

Sex and Relationship Coaching With Mandela

CONNECT WITH KELSEY

Follow Kelsey: @thisiskelseysmith

Follow Momma Has Goals: @mommahasgoals

Download the app for Apple or Android

Learn more at https://thisiskelseysmith.com/

Join our text list. Text "Goals" to (707) 347-0319

Speaker 1 0:00

If you're looking to a Cosmo, it might say something like, you know, six dirty tricks you can try to please your lover tonight. And those will be specific actions. And those specific actions aren't going to work for everybody. And they're also not going to get to the core of what lights you up, it's just a thing to try. Now a thing to try, it might be really fun. If you're in a really deep, really nice connection with somebody, or that same exact action could feel really not good if you're feeling disconnected from your partner, and you're feeling conflicted. And maybe they didn't pick up their socks for the 1,000th time, or a few baths them every day. So those tips and tricks are going for a really surface level interaction. But what I'm doing is I'm helping people get connected to themselves that they can feel into, and when I say feel into listen to their body's reactions to what they want, and then communicate that with their partner, and maybe the thing that they want is in Cosmo. But when I do isn't about the thing. It's about how to know what the thing is.

Kelsey Smith 1:06

Speaker 1 3:40

Oh my gosh, okay, so first of all, um, my mom is a therapist, I grew up with a therapist, mom, who was really open and talked to me about all different kinds of things, including sex. I don't even remember a time in my life when I didn't know what sex was. So like getting the talk. I don't remember that. Because I always feel like I always knew I went into communications. I went to Sonoma State and majored in communications. And I got a job as a journalist and BC Bay Area, I was there for almost two years, and realized that I couldn't really quite be like exactly my full self there, I really wanted to talk about things that were beyond what I was told to talk about. And in the background, I always was the person that my friends would come due to talk about sex and to talk about relationships. And it just sort of became a theme in my life where I was always talking about sex. And then like, why is that separate from what I do? So I decided that it shouldn't be.

Kelsey Smith 4:36

I love it. And it's an interesting thing, because there are so many things out there that overlap with people and so many things that people are completely different on right, what you eat for dinner may be totally different than someone else's household. And what you like to do on a Saturday is totally different. But this is actually something that overlaps into almost every single person's life, but yet almost no one wants to really talk about it. And so I'd love for gonna kind of break that down. Why do you think it is that parents teachers, the general, human, huge percentage of the world feels uncomfortable talking about sex? Where do you think it really comes from?

Speaker 1 5:13

Okay, well, first, I want to say that I don't think it's true that people don't want to talk about sex. I think people really want to talk about sex. But we've been conditioned in our culture and in a lot of cultures, that it's something that's dirty or wrong, or only for one specific situation, right? Like, for example, a lot of people believe and are taught that sex is okay, at home, in the bedroom with a monogamous, significant other. And in other situations that should be completely turned off. But I believe that sex is an intrinsic part of who we are, we're sexual beings. And sex is what makes more of us that it's part of the fabric that makes up our heart and soul. And that it's not separate from us, obviously, we need to behave appropriately in certain situations. But that doesn't mean that we have to cut ourselves off from our sexuality in all those situations except for one.

Kelsey Smith 6:12

Yeah. And so for you, specifically, when you started having these feelings of, Hey, I can't express my full self in this role, knowing that you always had these conversations growing up, this is something that you talked about, where did that kind of come together for you to say, okay, you know, I am going to be a sex and relationship coach, how did you know that there was a way for you to support others and help them and make that transition from just like, hey, I'm the person that people come to, to making it a business for yourself.

Speaker 1 6:43

Yeah, you know, being in the Bay Area, things are a little bit more loose around here, people are a little bit more open to talking about, you know, sex, relationships, spirituality, then certain other places, right. And so, I actually knew people, I met people who had done a training that I just am in the middle of actually, it's called sciatica. This America Institute is based in San Francisco. So I knew one person who told me about it. And then I started doing my research, and I met someone else who had done it. And then I started realizing that there were people that I knew who had done similar workshops at Contra, which is not the same as what I do. But there are elements that are the same. And yeah, I got personal interviews from other people who were in the field and was like, God, this is for me.

Kelsey Smith 7:28

I love that. And really, where that comes from, is having the conversation. And that's so much of what we're talking about is saying, when you raise your hand and go first and open up the invitation for someone to talk to you about something, you can learn so much more information. So if you're saying, Hey, I think I want to do this, someone can be like, Oh, my gosh, I know someone that went and took this program, or I did this, and you're inviting so much more information into your life. So whether it's on a personal or professional level, it all comes back to conversation and having the conversation that you want to have which is so important. So what are some misconceptions and myths about relationships, whether married or unmarried, and how you can invite conversation with your partner around what's going on?

Speaker 1 8:14

Okay, first, before I answer that question, I want to say that you just touched on something really important. I really do think that people are waiting for someone to go first. Because anytime that I have gone first, I have never felt shamed or pushed away for wanting to talk about sex relationships, love communication. I have never felt that I have felt that when I have gone first people are like, yes. And they have stories and they want to talk, they want to talk about it. So if you're in a situation where you're feeling like, oh, I want to talk about this, probably other people do too. Now to answer your question about misconceptions, I would say the biggest thing in our culture and in personal relationships that is a misconception is that if somebody really loves you, they should already know what you want, in band and out of bed. In Love and insects. The biggest misconception it's taught to us from an early age, Disney fairy tales, we ride off into the sunset and we live happily ever after. And from this point forward, it's all perfect. Now, we all know that it's not we've come to this realization as a culture, okay, it's not going to be perfect, but why and what can we do about it? Right? I really feel that a lot of people believe that if somebody loves you, they can read your mind. And that's not true that you have to teach people how to love you. And it starts with learning how to love yourself. And in terms of sex. It starts with knowing what you want, and so that you can communicate that to your partner.

Kelsey Smith 9:51

Gosh, that is so important and so good. And I love that you bring that up and how it relates to not just sex too, that people are not mind reader's and we should Didn't expect that from anyone else. And we also don't want them to expect it from us where that is so much pressure on us if we're supposed to be a mind reader. So what are some kind of conversation starters? Whether it's just with yourself, like, it's almost a journaling topic for you to think about, or it's with your partner to really get things going. And it might not be something super heavy, but just to even break the ice to be like, Hey, I think I might want to talk about this. And something I heard recently was, it's not always a negative of, hey, we're not having sex enough. But it's more just like exploratory conversations, what are some things that work for your clients?

One thing that just really popped into my head when you said that, because there's no one answer to this question, there's a million. But one thing that popped into my head when you said that is, you know, discovering your core sexual theme. And there are a lot of books on this. But basically, like, with my clients, one thing that really works is to go into sort of like a, you know, internal state, and to really just see what comes up around the hottest sexual experiences you've ever had, or the hottest sexual fantasies you've had, and to sort of distinguish between what you actually would want to do and what you wouldn't. So sometimes, there might be a fantasy that you wouldn't ever really want to play out. But it's something you'd like to run into your head when you're either having solo play time, or maybe partner play time, but to really start to feel into what that theme is, and it could be romance, it could be dominance, it could be many things, and to start to feel into what really gets you going. So that you may share that with your partner, and maybe your partner knows, maybe it's something that you're super open and comfortable with. But I will say that it's really surprising how many people maybe notch up on certain things, but not on everything. And so maybe they come into a place where they're sort of having in between sex, where it's like, where the overlap is, when what they could do is actually take turns doing what one person wants, and then doing what the other person wants, within what is comfortable for both people, right? You don't want to cross anyone's like hard boundaries. But if you're compromising all the time, and doing what's in the middle, the neither one of you are really getting that deep, young.

So important. And this being a topic that's new for me, I can see how we really should play this out in so many other things as well, right? Let's say it's a date night that you're going to order a family activity or anything else. It's so important to not also just be like, Okay, let's compromise and no one ever gets to go to the restaurant they want to go to, or no one ever gets to go to the family activity they want to go to or the date night or whatever it is, if your partner is not okay with skydiving, that might not be the thing that you guys go do together, you know, might not be skydiving. But what are some things that you guys can do together? That it's okay, maybe don't love the movie theater, my partner is going to love the movie theater. So we're gonna go to the movie theater today. Maybe my partner also wanted to go skydiving and we're not going skydiving together. But I can make the movie theater work, right? So you find the things that you can really not just compromise in the middle for but do the thing for someone without crossing boundaries. I absolutely love that. What are some recommendations to have intimacy and playfulness outside of actually doing the deed? What are some ways that you can bring that in without it only being about the actual action?

Oh, my gosh, there's so many ways that this is such a timely question. I actually just got back from a breeding retreat with my partner, you know, there was all these workshops, right. And it was like a clothes on not having sex place. But there was all these games and activities that were going on about deepening connection. And one thing really stands out to me and I do similar activities, exercises, my clients that my partner and my boyfriend, Nate, we got down in this workshop. And we practiced saying to each other, may I blink for light. And what that would be is like, for example, may I stroke your hair for my pleasure? Or may I rub your feet for your pleasure. And so it really starts filling into the tension of why this is happening. And I'm gonna go a little bit dirty your hair where have you ever had, and this is just to whoever's listening, someone touching you. And you don't know if they're trying to turn you on or trying to turn themselves on. And maybe you're stuck in sort of a performative moment where you're feeling pressure. Am I supposed to be like climax? See right now? And maybe I'm not maybe I'm actually getting really stressed out in my head about how I should be acting? Or can I relax into this? Like, I'm not feeling stimulated in a pleasurable way. Now, if the person said to you hate, can I touch you in this way for my pleasure? All of a sudden, you're going to probably be like, okay, cool, I don't have to perform for you. I'm just going to let this happen. As long as I'm not uncomfortable with it, but maybe I'm gonna Trouble about it, maybe I'm neutral about it now that you're getting turned on by it. I'm cool with it. But if it's for my pleasure, and it's not pleasuring me, I can say, that's actually not really doing it for me if this is for my pleasure, can we do it like this? And it doesn't have to be sex at all. It can be a backrub, or a hair pet or a conversation. Hey, can you tell me what you like about me so that I may get turned on?

I love that so important. And exactly what you said, even just like conversations, where I can think about a conversation of someone trying to say, Hey, you look beautiful today, or I like what you're wearing, you look hot, any of these things, right? Where is that for you? Or is that for me? And being able to have that conversation? Or you said, a back rub? Knowing the intention behind the action is so important in everything. So I absolutely love that. What are some fun at home activities that can allow you to connect more together that are maybe like daily activities? Is it like cooking together? What is a way that you can bring more intimate play into something that's happening already at home? So let's use an example of let's say, this is a way for a partner to bring in an introduction into their house, right? So if someone's listening, and they're like, Okay, the next time we cook dinner together, or the next time we do this together, what's a way that they could just add something super small, that would maybe make their partner go? Oh, that was interesting.

So really good question. And it's gonna be really individual to the people, and especially with their love languages are, we didn't get too much into love languages, but I've heard other of your podcast where you talk about it. So just like finding that thing that you guys already doing for one couple that might be cooking, but maybe for another couple, they hate cooking. So it couldn't really be anything, but just being bringing a presence in. And what that would look like is rather than being like in your mind, and thinking about what you have to do next, and if the person's doing it correctly, and I'll just go with a cooking example, since you brought it up, maybe you know, finding that thing, and then taking just a pause to look into each other's eyes. And maybe the other person is chopping something up in a way that really is nice. And to say thank you so much for topping the garlic, you know that I really don't like that, given them the appreciation, it could take a split second, maybe the hand on the back, being there really being there, as opposed to getting this done. Yeah.

And while we're talking about presence, and how that relates to the relationship, I'd love for you to break down the difference between how you support your clients and a page in Cosmo. Let's talk about what the differences are. So when someone's listening, and they're like, Okay, well, why would I google or look in a magazine for and what would I go to a sex and relationship coach for?

You? Yeah, that's a great question. I would say that somatic work is about finding what feels right for you in your body. And if you haven't ever heard of this, it's gonna sound really foreign. But just go with me here. Okay. So if you feel like something isn't good, yes, for you, and you actually stop and focus on when it feels like in your chest, or in your belly, it's gonna feel a lot different than a no write a contraction or a tightness. So if you're looking to a Cosmo, it might say something like, you know, six dirty tricks you can try to please your lover tonight. And those will be specific actions. And those specific actions aren't going to work for everybody. And they're also not going to get to the core of what lights you up, it's just a thing to try. Now a thing to try might be really fun. If you're in a really deep, really nice connection with somebody, or that same exact action could feel really not good if you're feeling disconnected from your partner, and you're feeling conflicted. And maybe they didn't pick up their socks for the 1,000th time, or if you've asked them every day. So those tips and tricks are good for a really surface level interaction. But what I'm doing is I'm helping people get connected to themselves that they can feel into, and when I say feel into listen to their body's reactions to what they want, and then communicate that with their partner, and maybe the thing that they want is in the Cosmo, but what I do isn't about the thing, it's about how to know what the thing is.

Yeah, I'd love that. And taking that a step further. One of the things we talked about before we post record was how you can come from all sorts of different paths and backgrounds, relationships with sex, mentally, physically, emotionally. And you can also be in any sort of relationship currently, as long as you're safe in your relationship, you can be in any sort of relationship in the sense of, you may or may not be super connected, this may not be the best point of your relationship, but utilizing different support and resources is the betterment of your relationship, that you're not necessarily broken. I loved how you put that I'd love for you to break that down a little bit. Yeah,

I like to, I've heard this phrase, actually from a book called How to change your mind, and which is not about relationships at all. But the phrase comes from that, and it's the betterment of, well, people. And we all go through ups and downs. And though this is the way I'm applying the phrase, we all go through ups and downs in our lives, and you're not broken, just because your sex life might be off, or your communication with your partner might be up, or maybe you have heavy sexual trauma that you haven't worked through yet, or that you're currently working through or that you thought you had to work through. And now feelings are coming up again, you're not broken, there's nothing wrong with you. And so instead of fixing, quote, unquote, yourself or your problems, maybe you're just overcoming a challenge, and you're already great, maybe everything feels awesome, but you want to take it to the next level. That is where I love the term the betterment of the well individual, because you're not broken. And there's nothing wrong with you just because you want to have better sex and a better relationship. Yeah.

So taking this to maybe the more negative side, let's talk about the sex negative culture, let's talk about to the person that is listening. And they feel like this is very uncomfortable for them. They have been told their whole life to feel shame around this and that in their concept. Maybe sex is really meant to reproduce. And that's it, we're not talking about it, I realize how can you break down or invite that person to see other opportunities?

Yeah, and someone who feels that way is still listening. Congratulations, you're doing something that's outside of your comfort zone. And I'm proud of you. As far as the sex negative culture, it's very confusing, especially for women, right? Because we're told, you have to look sexy, and you have to dress sexy. But if you're doing it for your own pleasure, then you're a slut. And if you're doing it for somebody else's pleasure it better recently that you're in a monogamous relationship with otherwise you're a slide oh, but if you're fat, that's bad, too. And also, if and by that, I mean, like, any fat at all, there's so much confusing messages coming at us that it's like, I just kind of want to throw that all away and say, whatever is what you want is cool. And maybe you don't want to have sex. That's great. And if you do want to have sex, that's great, too. But it's this idea that it has to be anything other than what it is for the individual person. For women, a lot of times it can be even in a loving relationship. It can be very performative, like it's for that man. And I want to touch on sex ed in school and what we're taught growing up because it astounds me that we are taught if we are lucky, we're taught about STIs, or STDs as they were called when I was growing up. We were taught about protection and the reproductive system. If we're lucky, right? We're not talking about pleasure. These days, consent is coming up more and more, but it from what I understand is coming up in terms of did she say yes or no? Not? You know, does she like it? Are you taking care of her emotionally and hen? Let's not forget about the fact that boys are also pressured into things they don't want to do. They're cool is because they're cool. And if they say no, to a girl, they're not cool. I mean, there's so many layers to all of this. But we're not taught any of it in school. We're not taught like to connect with another person.

Yeah, you know, parenting below 18. We're not going to cover that today. But let's talk about 18. Above. What would you like to see? What would you like the 18 and above sex journey to look like? And how to personally approach that if no one's giving it to you?

Yeah. Oh, and I want to say that all the comments I just made about were taught as us as adults, what we grew up with. So yeah, we're here like, just guessing. Right? It can about what I would like to see. For the sex journey. I would just really like to see sex be something that we can talk about, in whatever context it works. For other people. I want it to be a conversation about not just consent, but pleasure. Have it be something that we get to enjoy and love, without shame. And with as many or as few people it's be like, because there is also this whole underlying hookup culture which can be damaging to people just as much as being oppressed can. It's really about doing what you want it and being true to yourself, whether that's no people, no partners, or all the partners, it doesn't matter. It's about being true to yourself and being safe emotionally and physically. Yeah.

You mentioned that you're always the friend that friends came to, to talk about their relationships and sex. How can you show up as a good friend and support healthy intimacy and relationships within your circle? How are some ways that you normalize conversation in a way that feels just fun and open and acceptable to those to feel comfortable in ways that you maybe you're holding hands when you're out with friends, you're not necessarily sitting in the backseat of your friend's car making out but you're saying like, hey, you know, we believe in a healthy relationship. And this is what it means to us, and how are you inviting that conversation for others?

I think the biggest thing, when it comes to conversation, promoting healthy relationships with friends is to just let go of good judgment. One phrase I hear a lot in the sex positive world is don't Yuck, other people's young, maybe your friends are into some stuff that you're not into. But let's talk about it and celebrate that I love that you found this new thing that you like to do for me, and I'm happy for you really, is the judgment I think is the big thing that people fear if people want to be seen, and people want to be loved for who they are. It's not necessary to agree, it's necessary to accept

bringing that a different angle that reminds me, you know, you share that you love nature, you love being outside, you've even completed the Pacific Crest Trail, which is my understanding a huge accomplishment. So just kudos for that. What are some ways that your relationship with nature shows up in the way that you also approach your relationship or sex?

That's a really good question. For me personally, nature is kind of part of my spirituality. Like, I feel connected when I'm in nature. And so when I feel connected to myself, and I started to feel connected to my partner, yeah, I believe that sex ultimately is a spiritual practice when it's conceptual and connected. So when I feel connected, is when I'm in nature. And that's how it shows up for me.

I love that. And something that we touched on, as you said, you need to know what you want to be able to explain what you want. Let's talk a little bit more about the importance of your own well being or understanding of yourself, not just your physical anatomy, but the things like you said that make you feel connected, having time for yourself, whether it's in nature, or wherever else, how do you see that show up with your clients? And how important is that for a strong relationship?

Yeah, really, there are a lot of ways to show up for yourself. And it's going to look different for people with different responsibility level different timeframes. But one thing that was actually homework for me and the Subotica class that I took was a go to date yourself, to have a beautiful night, run a bath, like candles, put on soft music, rub lotion on your body, be sensual with yourself. And one thing that people oftentimes do when it comes to self pleasure is trying to hit that target, try to hit that goal, like orgasm, that's the goal with the stuff that they might do with a lover off the table with themselves. So to bring that sensuality into yourself into a personal date night, and you don't even have to be master reading or trying to bring yourself to orgasm. If that's going to be part of it for you, that's awesome. But to really date yourself to really treat yourself how you would like to be treated and to start to explore what that feels like, within you. So that you can show to someone else what you want. And maybe your partner is already really good at it. But it's never occurred to you that you could give that to yourself. Yeah.

So important. Something that you have going on personally right now that is so exciting is you and your partner are trying for baby. And wow, there's so much to unpack about that. I would love for you to break down. How do you keep sex fun and connected when you are physically trying to make a goal happen?

Yeah, it hasn't been a challenge. For me, for him from what he's told me is actually makes it more fun. Where you want to make someone together like what can be more fun. And you know, I will share we had a miscarriage in February. And the reason I want to bring that up, it's really important to me because when that happened, I didn't know how common it was. And almost everyone I knew, like 90% of the women I know came to me people barely knew were like, Oh yeah, that happened to me too, because circling back to what we talked about earlier, I brought it up, I raised the topic. And then I found out like most women, at least, that I know have had that happen. And I'm like, Why didn't I know this before? And why isn't anyone talking about it? So I just want to say that, you know, I had a miscarriage. And we're trying again, and it's an ugly, look, hey, I want to add that was your smile, let's have sex,

I will have that. For someone that is feeling some of the stress, you know, especially if they have experienced a loss, or it's not happening fast enough for them, what are some ways to bring them back to the joy of the action? What are some ways that they could come back to like them, and have it not just be about that?

Yeah, again, that's gonna depend on the individual and their history. But one thing that really works for me is to just is to put my intention out there, and to let it go. The focus on a goal, whether it's orgasm, or getting pregnant, being overly focused on a goal, in my opinion, can really take you out of the moment with the sex that you're having. And so for me, to hold that in my heart, and then just like go, and to really just try to trust that whatever is meant to be will be and it's easy to say, right, it's easy to say that it's really hard to do. So there's a lot of different ways to do that, I would say it would really depend on the individual, what to be in clear communication with the other person to that you have this common goal with that connection is going to have to come first, as much as you might want the other thing to be the goal, connection has to come first.

And the other thing you just came to my mind, as you were saying that is going back to, like you said, Dating Yourself, and honoring your body, honoring your body, even if the products that you wanted, the baby isn't here that you want it to be here, that if it's not happening fast enough for you, like love your body, because even when you maybe are frustrated with your body, it is a beautiful vessel, and you need to love on it a little bit more. So whether it is Dating Yourself, and those baths or whatever it is coming back to that. And maybe it's a nature, like you said for you feeling connected to yourself and having more of that spiritual practice, whatever spiritual means to you think that that could really be beneficial, and just help you connect back to you. Yeah, I

absolutely agree.

Now, if someone's listening, and they are like, this is great. And it has me thinking, but I don't know what to do next, what is one thing they could do for themselves, and one thing they could do in their relationship, so two steps, that you would recommend that without knowing all the different layers of the relationship or the things because of course, that matters. But what are kind of some general actions or activities that they could take one for themselves, and one as a couple, over the next, let's say week.

Yeah, I mean, just to deepen into their connection with themselves with their partner, I would say one thing is just take a couple of minutes, if you're someone listening, and you are always on the go, personally, I am always in my head, it is a direct intention to not be in my head. So if that's you, I would say, if you could even take two minutes, or if you're already having two minutes, five minutes, 10 minutes would be fantastic to just be with yourself, whether that's doing a breathing meditation, or maybe stepping outside and having your coffee with the sun shining on your face. But take a few minutes, where you tune into what you're feeling physically. And step out of what you're thinking about in terms of what you have to do, and what productive activity must be performed next. I think if each partner did that, that's really great. That the connection, because that's just taking a moment to be like, wow, there's a little bit of tension in my neck. And I'm just gonna put my hands on it, just gonna breathe. And now I'm gonna go back to the therapy I was doing, I'm just gonna take two minutes to breathe into that. And then with the partner taking that same presence, whether we talked about cooking earlier, but it could be anything, maybe taking a walk together, maybe your babies are in their buggy, and you're just pushing them but you take that moment to be like, yes, they're fine. I'm going to look at you and look into your eyes and say thank you for spending this time with me. Just appreciation is a wonderful thing and relationships. Yeah,

thank you so much for that. Is there anything else you'd love to leave with our audience? I know you have so much knowledge on this topic. And you could definitely dive deep individually with anyone but as a whole. Is there anything else that you want to share?

Yeah, I mean, really, just try, you know, to approach yourself with non judgement, whatever it is that you might be interested in or that you might be struggling with, too. Just try to be a little bit kinder to yourself, and not to assign a value to what it is that you may or may not want. So by assigning a value, I mean, just trying to be curious about what you or your partner is interested in sexually or romantically or otherwise, without saying, this means something or this is good or that's bad. And to just have a little bit more compassion with yourself, because we do live in a culture that is very judgmental, and you don't need to also try it yourself.

Amazing, tell our listeners where they can find you where they can connect with you. And if they are ready to jump all in how you work with your clients, and they could learn about that too.

Okay, great. My website is my full name.com Mega lynda.com, you can schedule a consult with me, it's free 15 minute talk to see if we're a good match to work together. Currently, I'm doing one on one sessions and couples, I will in the future be doing group packages or classes. But I haven't gotten there yet. I am a new coach, and still in my program. Now more to come in the future. I do packages in terms of individual sessions like one session at a time. Or you can do a 10 week session or six months session package. So whatever skills like it's working for us, when we do our console will be redesigned together.

Amazing. And we will of course will link all that in the show notes. I always love to know what is the goal that you currently have. I know you have a goal of growing your family. But is there anything else personally or professionally that you're really excited about right now?

Oh my gosh, so many, my partner and I besides wanting to have a baby, we want to buy a house and we really want to, for us, we just really want to have the ability to share this special time before a baby comes to really deeply connect with each other. And part of that is having our own space to feel that whatever timeframe that happens in we get to just enjoy each other and if it takes a little longer, that's more time we have together.

I love that. Thank you so much for being here. So many good takeaways. We can't wait to have you back and congratulations on everything. Thank you. Sometimes the smallest acts of love is all a mom needs to feel reinvigorated. If you can relate to that I feel so supported by your five star rating and written review. Take a moment and let me know what you thought about this episode.