In this heartfelt episode of Counselor Chat, we’re diving into something every school counselor faces: when a student you once saw regularly suddenly fades from view. Whether it's due to schedules, emotions, or avoidance, reconnection is possible—and often starts with something small.

🧠 Here’s what we’ll explore:

• Common reasons students stop checking in—and why it’s not about you
• How to send a low-pressure “Hey, I missed you” message
• Creative ways to re-engage through lunch bunches, hallway greetings, and purposeful invitations
• Why micro-moments (like sticky notes or memes) rebuild trust
• What to say when a student isn’t ready to reconnect

✨ Pro Tip: Don’t assume silence means they’re not thinking of you. Sometimes students are testing if you really meant it when you said you care.

🎧 Listen now and take one small step toward reconnecting with a student who may still need you more than you know.

Grab the Show Notes: Counselingessentials.org/podcast

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Connect with Carol:

• TpT Store
• Counseling Essentials Website
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• Elementary School Counselor Exchange Facebook Group
• Caught In The Middle School Counselors Facebook Group
• High School Counselor Connection Facebook Group

Mentioned in this episode:

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Carol: You're listening to the Counselor Chat podcast, a show for school counselors looking for easy to implement strategies, how to tips, collaboration, and a little spark of joy. I'm Carol Miller, your host.

I'm a full time school counselor and the face behind counseling essentials. I'm all about creating simplified systems, data driven practices, and using creative approaches to engage students. If you're looking for a little inspiration to help you make a big impact on student growth and success, you're in the right place.

Because we're better together. Ready to chat. Let's dive in.

Carol: Hey there, counselor friends. Welcome back to another episode of Counselor Chat. This is your go to spot for a little practical advice, a little humor, and a whole lot of heart when it comes to school counseling.

I'm your host, Carol Miller, and today we're talking about something I think all of us face at some point in time. That's the students that we've kind of lost touch with and how can we rebuild relationships with them?

I mean, I think you guys know what I'm talking about. That student who used to pop in every week and now, well, it's like radio silence. The one you were making great progress with until testing season kind of hijacked your schedule or until life happened for them or for you,

whatever the case may be.

So how do you reconnect without it feeling awkward, forced, or like we're just checking a box. And that's what we're going to be diving into today.

So let's get started.

I think before we talk about any type of reconnection, we kind of have to look at why our students drift away in the first place.

Number one, they felt better.

Or at least for a while. Maybe your support really helped and they didn't feel like they needed to come anymore. I mean, that's a huge win.

Although it can still feel like an abrupt ending to a story.

Sometimes our students drift away because schedules just got wild. Between assemblies, field trips, tests, fire drills,

you name it, it's easy for students to fall off the radar. For me this year, having the little gap between when our one counselor left and the new one started and I kind of had to pick up a lot of lessons in the meantime, there were some students that I just kind of didn't see anymore because I just didn't have the time in my schedule with all the other things,

whatever the case may be, sometimes schedules can get a little wild.

Maybe it's avoidance. And their avoidance mode was totally activated because for some kids, when things start getting hard emotionally, their coping skill is to shut down or withdraw.

And I know these are the ones who really need us and they need you to reach back out.

Or maybe something changed at home. There could be new dynamics, new stressors, or maybe even just a shift in routine and that can impact how connected they feel to school and maybe to you.

So if you're thinking, did I do something wrong? Chances are nope. But my friends, you can do something right by making the first move to reconnect.

So now it's time to break the silence. And here's how to do it in a way that feels authentic and low pressured. It's the Hey, I missed you. Kind of check in.

Send a quick note Hey, I noticed we haven't chatted in a while. I miss seeing you. Want to swing by sometime this week?

These are a little great when you're passing each other in the hallways too. It's short, it's simple, it's warm, and it's not guilt trippy. We're not calling them out, we're just welcoming them back.

You could also use a little class visit or a purposeful hallway hello. Catch them during class transitions, at lunch or before homeroom.

Even a hey, you crossed my mind this week. How have you been? That goes a long way.

And then you can get kind of creative with your invites. Invite them to a low key lunch, bunch a check in game, or ask for their help with something. Hey, I could really use your opinion on something for next week's group.

Make the connection feel personal and purposeful.

And then once that door is open,

focus on slow and steady reconnection because there's no need to jump back into weekly counseling if it's not the right fit.

Think of it like rebuilding the trust in layers. You have to be where they are if they're spending time in a certain classroom or with a particular club. Swing by.

Show up in their world instead of always pulling them into yours.

Create those low stake opportunities to reconnect. You need to offer small moments of connection, share a funny meme or quote. You can leave a sticky note with some encouragement.

Invite them to help with the classroom SEL activity. I've done this. I've asked, usually with my older kids, and I'll say, hey, I'm planning something with the little ones. They could really use a role model.

Do you want to come and help me with this?

These micro moments, they really rebuild the relationship and they don't require a full session.

The other thing my friends is don't assume distance equals disinterest just because they haven't stopped by doesn't mean they're not thinking about you. Sometimes students test whether we really meant it when we said we cared.

And reaching out proves that we do.

The other day I walked by a student in the hallway, sixth grader. And he was frequently in my office, like all the time. And as he started this sixth grade this year, I thought, let's give him a go at handling things on his own without him having to have a weekly check in.

And that turned into, I really haven't seen him at all this year, like at all, except in the hallway or when I go into class lessons.

And when I saw him in the hallway,

it was like a reconnection. I mean, I had to kid him a little bit about, hey, how's that checker game going? Or who have you beaten lately in Uno? Because let's face it, we had some pretty intense games, the two of us.

So he was pretty excited to say, hey, when can we have a game again? And it was kind of nice.

So there are times that reconnection is easy, but there are also times when reconnection isn't easy. Because, let's be honest, not every student is going to jump the chance to reconnect.

And that's okay too.

Some kids may not feel ready, and that's not a reflection of your work, it's part of their process.

Some kiddos might not know how to come back,

help lower that barrier. Say something like, you're always welcome to pop in, no matter how long it's been,

or it's totally okay if things just got busy. I'm still here if you need me. But sometimes students avoid support due to something deeper. And if you suspect that there's something going on, whether it's home or peer stuff, maybe some internal struggles, consider looping in the team, a teacher,

or even sending home a wellness check in.

But you have to remember you don't need a student to, to launch into a deep heart to heart to know reconnection is, is happening. There are lots of reasons to celebrate with them.

The little smile that they gave you in the hallway, that's a connection. The one sentence response that wasn't there last week, the moment they showed up unannounced just to say hi.

These are all progress in reconnecting with kiddos.

So here's the thing. Students may drift, schedules can go totally sideways.

But you, you're a constant. And even when they're not showing up, they remember who made them feel seen,

who listened when maybe others didn't.

So My friends, don't underestimate the power of a small reconnection gesture. You may be the only adult in their lives who notices when they go quiet and who reaches back out.

So take a deep breath,

because rebuilding doesn't have to be big or fancy. It just has to be real.

That's it.

That's what I got for you today. My friends.

I would like to thank you for joining me today on Counselor Chat. If you have that student that you've been meaning to reconnect with, I want you to consider this your official nudge.

Reach out, smile, send a sticky note. You never know what bridge you might be rebuilding with just one small act of care. And until next time, keep showing up with heart.

Keep reaching out with grace. And as always,

have a great week. Bye for now.

Carol: Thanks for listening to today's episode of Counselor Chat. All of the links I talked about can be found in the show notes and at counselingessentials.org podcast. Be sure to hit follow or subscribe on your favorite podcast player.

And if you would be so kind to leave a review, I'd really appreciate it. Want to connect? Send me a DM on Facebook or Instagram at Counseling Essentials until next time.

Can't wait till we chat. Bye for now.