After attending the memorial service for a friend's brother who took his own life, and learning about depression and how common it is for men to suffer in silence, I decided to devote some time to learn more about this issue and what we can do to remove the stigma from this mental illness that could ultimately help save lives. In today’s episode, we talk about some of the myths around depression among men, provide some truth statements to debunk those myths, and talk about the power of storytelling. 

Resource: HeadsUpGuys.org 

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I’m your host, Anita Adams, an award-winning leader and the founder of Joyful Inspired Living, an organization dedicated to teaching people how to access their highest most authentic selves so they can find clarity and create a life of purpose, passion, and joy. In addition to hosting the Joyful Journey Podcast, I offer retreats, both live and online, and private coaching programs to further guide my clients on their journey to their highest selves.

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Welcome to the joyful journey podcast. If you're looking for more clarity in your life, clarity of purpose or how to activate that purpose, and you are someone who wants to operate from your highest self to be a force for good, you know this world craves, then this is the show for you. I'm Anita Adams, your host and guide to finding clarity and creating a life you love. Let's tap into our inner wisdom, access our highest self and unleash joy. As we do this, we raise our vibration and heightened the collective consciousness. And that my friend, is the joyful journey. Let's dive in. Hey, joyful journey are neither Adams here your host. Thank you for joining me before we move into our theme today speaking up about depression. I'd like to shout out one of our listeners stay Sandy, who after listening to Episode 21 into the silence wrote this review. For anyone like me who avoids silence and being alone with your thoughts. This podcast from Anita Adams could be a useful beginning to Finding Your Way Back to you. I'm so grateful for what you're doing. Keep it up. We need more joy and love in this world. And it starts with finding it within. Stay Sandy, thank you for your kind words for taking the time to write this review and for understanding that creating more joy and love starts by finding it within. I couldn't have said it better. Alright, speaking up about depression. I decided to make this the theme of today's show after attending a memorial service last week. For the brother of a friend of mine, Peter is the man we came together to remember and honor with the beautiful stories of his life. Peter was my age 53 married with two young adult boys, a thriving career and an active lifestyle. It turns out Peter had also been suffering from depression, and no one in his family or in his inner circle of friends had the slightest idea, and Peter took his life. At the memorial service, Peter's younger sister spoke about depression and how common it is for men to suffer in silence, not even allowing those closest to them to know what they are going through. She then shared some information about a group called Heads up guys.org That was created to bring more awareness around this illness, and to be a resource to both those who suffer with depression and those who have loved ones who suffer with it. Although predominantly created for men, heads up guys.org is a great resource for men and women alike, and I encourage you to check it out. I've included a link to this resource in the show notes. In today's episode we'll talk about some of the myths around depression with men provide some truth statements to debunk those myths and offer some thoughts on what we can all do to boost awareness around this illness that takes the lives of so many. Let's jump into those myths and the truth statements that need to be absorbed. There are in fact five common myths according to Heads up guys.org Myth one, depression is a sign of personal weakness. untrue. Depression is a real illness. Myth to Real Men are in control of their emotions and don't let things get to them. On true real strength is facing whatever challenges arise. Myth three, feeling sad or down is not manly. untrue. Sadness is an emotion all humans feel including men. Myth for anyone with enough willpower ought to be able to snap out of it. untrue. Depression isn't overcome by willpower alone. You have to learn and acquire new skills and tools to beat it.

Myth five men should not ask for help they should be able to cope on their own untrue. Consulting others for guidance and direction really means taking control and is the smartest thing you can do. Although these myths are focused on men, the truth statements that followed are universal and non binary. Depression is a real illness, real strength is facing whatever challenges arise. Sadness is an emotion all humans feel. You have to learn and acquire new skills and tools to overcome depression. Consulting others for guidance and direction really means taking control and is the smartest thing you can do. How do we beat back these myths and embrace the truth. So those of us who suffer from depression, don't feel so alone and in the dark. By having conversations about mental health, all forms of mental health and by sharing our own personal stories of combating or dealing with these issues. If you are someone who's experienced depression or any mental health challenge, I encourage you to talk about it to share your story. By sharing your story, you may very well save the life of someone who hears it, there is someone out there right now who is going through exactly the same thing you went through. By hearing your story, they will understand they are not alone, and may find hope for a brighter future. There are more of us who suffer with some form of mental health than most of us realize. We hide those stories though, because often they make us feel shameful or weak or lesser than it does take courage to share these stories. In the sharing though we are shining a bright light in the darkness for someone else. And we are breaking down the myths and making it possible and acceptable for others who are currently suffering, to speak up and seek help. By talking about it, and sharing our stories and experiences, we make it all right for others to explore their feelings instead of pushing them away. exploring why we feel a certain way is a big part of that inward looking journey I often talk about, and it's a crucial part for the healing journey. exploring our feelings, the good and the bad, leads to greater understanding of who we are, which leads to deeper acceptance and love of self. I recognize how simple I've made that sound. Taking that inward looking journey isn't easy, particularly if you have some mental health challenge as that journey will shine a light on those parts of yourself. You may not like if going there is hard then acknowledge that and seek the professional guidance of the therapist or counselor. That's what I did. When I went into a depression in my 20s. This was a time in my life when I felt utterly lost. I had graduated from university I had no job no prospect, a big student loan, no idea what I wanted to do or how I was going to create a meaningful life for myself. I felt empty, and like I was a big disappointment. This was also a time in my life when I was harboring a lot of anger towards my stepdad who I blamed for how I felt about myself, which in a nutshell was stupid, ugly and worthless. My boyfriend at the time now husband saw the pain I was in and one day came home with a pamphlet about the Employment Assistance Program that was offered through his work. This program gave employees and their significant others access to all sorts of professional services, including counseling and therapy sessions. As we were living together, I qualified for this program. So I called and booked myself an appointment. That was the beginning of my healing journey. Or put another way my inward looking journey.

Although talking to a professional certainly helped. Another tool that I discovered that continues to serve me today is journaling. I've shared with you before Julia Cameron's mourning pages and it's worth bringing up again. The idea behind the morning pages is to write every morning stream of consciousness style until you fill three pages with their thoughts and feelings. No editing, no rereading. In fact, it's recommended to destroy the mourning pages after each sitting, burn them if you'd like. That's a lovely ritual of letting go. The physical act of writing out your thoughts and feelings helps you get your emotions out of your body and onto the page. In so doing it can release you from some of the pain those emotions may carry. I did the morning pages for years and it played a big role in my journey to a happier, healthier place. We all have our own personal stories, a time when many of us have experienced some form of mental health. Of course, the spectrum is wide, and we are all affected in different ways. Yet the sharing of your story can have a huge positive impact in the life of someone else who is currently going through something similar. Again, this sharing breaks down the stigma around mental health increases awareness around the issue, and lets the individual suffering with illness recognize that they are not alone. And perhaps equally important. This sharing reveals that there is a way out you are living proof, and you can be a source of inspiration and hope for someone you may desperately need it. If you are that someone who is currently suffering with mental health, hear me now you are not alone. You are loved. There are people who care. And you too will get through this. If you or anyone you know is suffering from depression, I recommend checking out Heads up guys.org. It is truly a brilliant resource and a great starting point that will steer you in the right direction. The site includes a self check quiz, which will lead you to some additional resources that will support you on your healing journey. There is also a stress test another easy to use tool that then leads you to other resources. Something that I really liked is that the site offers suggested conversation starters to have with someone you suspect might be suffering from depression. Getting that conversation started might be the best thing you can do to support someone with suspected depression. The site also offers a list of symptoms that can help you identify depression in yourself or others. And there are many articles to be found here with tips and strategies for addressing and overcoming this mental illness. Please check it out and share it with others who need to know about it. As you will understand if you've been listening to other episodes of this show, the joyful journey is not always joyful. This path we are on may take us through some dark places that are difficult to navigate. And sometimes we need a guide or a friend to walk with us during these times to show us the way maybe to hold our hand or to even just let us know we'll be all right. One thing I can tell you with absolute certainty, by being on this path, this inward looking Journey to Understanding who we really are, it will lead us to the deepest joy of all. And that of course is love, love of self. So in closing, let's agree to have more conversations about all forms of mental illness, and to share our personal stories so we can shine a light on the path that leads out of the dark and towards a life full of joy. If you are suffering with mental illness, reach out to someone you trust a friend, a partner or professional and begin that conversation. I get that it takes courage to do that. And that courage is within you. All right, my fellow joyful journeyer thank you for being on this path with me. And we'll catch you next time.