00:00:42Welcome back to the show. Today. My guest is Jen Rosenbaum. Jen Embraces her femininity while allowing women to embrace their own, by daring her client, to shed their clothes. They begin to shed their inhibitions in the last nine years. Jen has found a growing audience in the Intimate Photography market and is now sharing her shamelessly feminine movement with women worldwide. She proves that you can own your world. If you live fearlessly, think I dacious lie and act spontaneously, let's hear what she has to say. So Jen, how do you define fear?

00:01:28I don't know how I Define it but I can tell you that it took on a new meaning for me this last year-and-a-half with being diagnosed with breast cancer. You know, you stink, you know, what fear is a mi? It's like, oh just kidding. That wasn't really easier. This is fear. So, you know, I have conversations with myself about fear. I really tend it take a moment if I'm fearful of something and say, what am I scared of here? What am I actually scared of? And is this for real? Because I think Siri is a reflex, you know, it's served us in the days and times when we were cavemen and, you know, we didn't want to get eaten by lions Grace, you know, it serves you, when you walk down the street and you don't want to get hit by a bus here is great. You know, you should have fear in those situations and then you said yourself? Okay. Thank you for your, thank you for protecting me, but fear tries to protect you in moment that you don't need it. So I, yeah, I have a very honest conversations with myself and with my fear about, you know, okay, I talk to myself a lot by the way, so

00:02:52I think that that's really beautiful and helpful. Right? Like, if you can get grounded and really understand what the feelings are. Maybe what we identify as fear isn't actually she here. Yeah, and I think that when you, when you get diagnosed with the Sickness,

00:04:09The matter is that anybody could die today, you know? Like it cuz you know, what is not always about cancer. May God forbid but you know, it's the truth is we don't know. And so to freak out about that situation. I'm absolutely. And I love this perception shift, you know, it just I think that when you go through a big life change it really puts everything in perspective for you. And so if you don't mind I'd like to talk about cancer for just a minute. What did having cancer? Teach you about being a woman? Everything. So, you know, it's interesting. I

00:05:27It made me really, really real value. 8, how much stock I put into my body as a woman versus my soul? My brain, my, you know, everything else that makes me a woman too. And it's it's also you talk about perspective perspective, if it had to really shifts my perspective in, what does being a woman look like today? And you know, what does it feel like to me? And I have to be honest, this may sound really conceited, but I have great breast. Like, I was one of the things about me that I loved, and I don't think women say that about themselves enough but like, I love showing a little cleavage. I loved like, I just love them that they were very powerful for me. I love nursing my children. I love, you know, just holding my kids and, and, and having a muscle in my chest, like, it was just, you know, I love the way my husband, you could talk to me. I did so many things about them. That were so wonderful.

00:06:44In a lot of great ways and it's has nothing to do with my body at all. It really has to do an attitude and confidence and I still struggle sometimes. You know, like I know I always love the look on me or I'll go through my photos and I'll catch an old picture of me. And I have that little like moment of I really miss that, but I realize I'm more of a woman now than I ever have been because of what I've been through.

00:07:45There's a lot of the mind in my in the way. I see. It is really a muscle. It's just like everything else. You're going to go to the gym. Some days. You're going to rock it and you're going to kick, but like this is awesome and allergies are going to be like, I'm brakes on my feet today. I don't know what is wrong with me. I just can't get into it. So for me, I allowed myself to have those dark moment because I think if they're part of the process, but I never allowed myself to spiral down inside out. So, I would be able to catch myself and say, okay. This is a spiraling moment. What is happening right now? What can I do to distract myself? So, I've done things like I'm a photographer by profession, but I'm also a very artistic. And so I started taking up changing and I started writing and I started doing other things, that distracted, my mind. I think that

00:09:02And some of it with medication and do so, you know, there was there were times where I like, my, I would feel these certain feelings in my brain would be like, are you out of your minds? Like, knock it off? What are you doing right now? Get your butt out of bed. This isn't who we are get up. This is just the medicine and went and would not happen if it helps me. But in the other dark moments where I knew it was, it was very difficult and I found, I found a lot of

00:09:52Wow, that's really awesome. And I think that part of it too is when you are down in the dark times to realize, what you're getting out of it. Sometimes people wallow there, right? Yes. So and here's, the hard thing about being a cancer, survivor people make you feel bad about it. So like if you're like all upset or having a tough day, they go. Well, you should just be happy, you're alive. Okay, first of all, no second of his call. There's a huge difference between being alive and feeling alive and there is a period of time after you have surgery and chemotherapy and all the things you're doing. You just don't feel alive, you know, you are alive and you know that there's a level of gratitude for it where you're like, I'm glad I'm going to beat this and I'm glad you know cancer is not going to win but like what the hell happened to my life, like what happened to my body would happen to my life. I'm living in a place. I'm not familiar with and it's not comfortable. So I think when people say or you should be just happy just be happy or Alive. What does that mean? If I came I slowly

00:11:13And what they really mean to say is what, I'm just happy you're alive, you know, but what they're saying is, will you should just be happy, you. Like I would be happy. I would have gratitude, if I was in your shoes, but you're not and you don't know what it's like until you are in somebody shoes and I'm full of gratitude for being alive, but I really had to change my life to feel alive. Not just be alive.

00:12:25Yeah, I can imagine, but it does seem like the normalcy is part of what helps you maintain that mindset and keeps you getting out of bed every day. If you have a place to go and a thing to do. Yeah, the day after I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a photoshoot. I had a client that day. Who was that? We just came back for another suit, which was a lot more fun. But the first time she came to me, my makeup artist is crying. My hairdresser is Christ, might for client, was like, what is going on here? And I was like listening to tell you what's going on. I was diagnosed with breast cancer yesterday, but I'm going to be fine. It's all going to be good. Don't worry. Where did have a great day today? And there's definitely a part of me. That's okay. I was in shock, which is helpful. But what was I going to do? I can either cancel this session, have her be upset that I canceled. It have me sit home and be miserable. There was nothing I could do at that point, right? At that point. It's just a waiting game to see doctors. There was nothing I could do. So I'm going to go out and do what I love. I mean, if God forbid, it's a life-ending thing. I want to spend my last days doing what I love to do. So, I went and I

00:13:41I love that. Absolutely and you kind of touched a little bit on how having cancer taught you a little bit more about what I meant to be a woman or feminine. But you have this podcast called shamelessly feminine and you have this movement called shamelessly feminine. So what is the shamelessly feminine movement my profession by profession. 10 years ago. I started a Boudoir photography business, which if you're not familiar, is mostly women in lingerie. It's an empowerment type of Photography. At least from my perspective. Some people is not the same but from my perspective, it was really about embracing your body's and embracing who you are as a woman. And so my tagline for my business was helping women, celebrate their unique femininity shamelessly, because I think that women carry so much shame for everything we do, right? Like you, if you want to wear, you know, combat boots and leather jackets.

00:15:41And I'm like, wow, this is popping up everywhere. This must be a thing, you know, like this. Is there something here. And so, what I really decided is, I've embraced it. I called it podcast shamelessly because really it's for the Kick-Ass woman who needs a kick in the ass, which is essentially what I do with my camera, right? Like, I'm taking women that are total.

00:16:46No, I absolutely love it. And what I love about it, the most is what you said about all of the shame and how we saved each other and how we get these images in our mind of what it means to be a woman and what it means to be feminine. I remember, when I started my company and I was looking up like women, entrepreneurs. It was all like pink and Princess C and I was like, well, I didn't sign up for this. I've never been pink and Princess T. I can't have branding that looks like that because it wouldn't be authentic. And yet I had pressure. I felt pressure like like, oh I have to fit this bold and then I was like, yeah talk that. It's not happening. Yeah.

00:18:13Absolutely, and as women, I just feel like we need to help each other and bring each other up, you know, one of the reasons why I asked you to join me on the shows. I do the same thing. I want to help badass women be more bad ass and be more than selves. I think we do have a lot of pressure on us to fit some idea or ideal. Typically what we were raised with or people wear around and the more we can support each other instead of Shame each other. I feel the better off we are. Yeah, it's so true. It's you know, there is an untapped potential and the power of women that you know, even though this is an amazing time to be women. We have yet to see it if we could just band together and support each other, it would be incredible.

00:19:00So you spoke a little too. How the photography moved into shamelessly feminine. Is there anything else you'd like to add about about your photography and how that empowers women and and how it led to where you are today. Well, I think that it's changing a changes as I change, which is so interesting because now that I am a breast cancer survivor. I actually shoot a lot more survivors and women that tells stories with their body. So I'm very into likes cars and and stories. And, you know, and that are unconventional, a beautiful, like a, I shot a woman with Vitiligo. I'm, which is the skin condition where they start losing pigment in their skin. And she was so interesting looking, and when we spoke, she said to me, you know, Jeremy, it's it's so hard. I try to cover it up and my answer to her was. Well, I think people still hurt you actually, because you spell uniquely beautiful that it's like hard not to like, you're still gorgeous.

00:20:59It actually makes you unique, you do, I have SOI my whole life grew up, very self-conscious of my nose. I have a big nose. And when I say that to people, that know me, like, I know you do what we talked about. I never see your nose, which is interesting, but I asked, I have a friend who's a hedgehog, but I prefer, and I asked him once, like, you know, how can you make my nose look smaller? Can you take a head shot of you to make my nose look smaller? Do me a favor. Don't be one of those bitches. I got the job and take all of Personality out of her face. You're right. Like, this is who I am and it's not perfect, but it's kind of unique to me and maybe I should on that a little bit more when you start doing that. It's so powerful. So, powerful. So, what happens? When people come to me for a photo session?

00:22:07Oh, I love myself. It's what am I going to do with this way that I feel right now?

00:23:05Yeah, it does. And I think that when what you're doing is so important because you're at that like cord level of like look at yourself. Look at how beautiful you are. And sometimes that's the first step for people to be like, you're right. I'm going to go kick ass. Now. I'm good. And you know, I always say presence of her Perfection. Like if you I deal with a lot of business owners and these women will stay. Well. I don't want to do Facebook live because I don't think I'm pretty or I don't want to do Facebook live because I waste 15 pounds more than I should Brussels by whose standards second of all. What you have to say is so much more important than what the heck. You look like. If you have a message, if you're trying to change the world, if you're trying to make this a better place, nobody's looking at whether or not you have 15 lb anywhere. They want to hear your message and I'm not going to say, I haven't done it. I've had moments of like, you leave. I have to get on stage and my jeans are tight and, you know, but then I go really quick.

00:24:12So I love all of this and tell me what you're talkin about is how I Define modern feminism, but I'm curious what you think. Modern feminism looks like man. I love this question. This is what modern feminism looks like to me. I believe it's time that we put the feminine back and feminist. And what do I mean by that? I think people will hear that. And so, does that mean I have to wear lipstick everyday? No, definitely not what I think it means his desk. I want equal pay. I want equal rights. I want equal all of that stuff, men. However, I do know what you treat me like a man. I want you to treat me like a woman and what that means is I want you to hire me because I'm emotional more emotional than a mad. I want you to hire me because I have, you know, I can do five things at one time. You no more than a man because I was a mom or a my mom. And, you know, I had to wear a lot of different hats. You know, I want you to see me as a

00:25:52Absolutely, and if somebody came from Tech and has really worked hard to reclaim my own femininity. I found it a lot of the reasons why I was like, why do I feel so uncomfortable? Is this transformation? I went through becoming more masculine just to try and get things done.

00:27:09I like that's like a bar, you know that we hit it like a mad but you cry like a girl is like putting up somebody down, you know, and it's just like the one that happened. It became abundantly clear to me that this is b. E is so messed up. But yeah, we do raising my son to be to say, you know what? Yet, you could cry, you have an emotion, but you're entitled to an emotion. You don't have to be tough just because, you know, somebody calls your name, it's cool. You know, let's embrace it and let you know to have him. Appreciate the fact that there's differences between women and men, but yet, we're equal. You know, I'm working hard on that. Like I said, as a parent, I think that

00:28:45What are your top three tips for reclaiming? The love of your body? That is such a good one. I really hate when people are like, well you should stand in the mirror naked and tell yourself. You love yourself five times, every morning, like that just doesn't work. So, I will tell you that what I have been working on recently is something I fall Fierce self-love and it's not yourself. Love yourself up and I really been investigating with myself. What does Sears sell flood look like? And because listen, I told my husband yesterday. We went to the fair and I had to put on a dress and I was like, I feel like a sausage in this dress. Like I just, I need to lose weight and you know, we all have those moments but here's the thing. I can I can want to lose weight and still fiercely love myself. And in fact, I would argue that you need to fiercely love yourself in order to do that because with yourself love yourself tear comes having a voice and come Clarity. I would say

00:30:45Do people go like? Oh, okay. What do you think you're going to be? So like, you know, it's okay. I got it doing more of what I love to do, listening to my body, like, taking naps, by the way, which is an entrepreneur, is, like, a bad word, but it's like, you know, I, my body is different now, and it talks to me and it says me like, we need to slow down. We can't be doing all this stuff, and I have to listen to it now. So that's coming from that place of Sears self-love and putting yourself. First is not something women are good at, but it is absolutely. A hundred percent by know if anything is going to work in your life.

00:32:08Yeah, I think that's great. And I think that to your point, the more that we have yourself love for ourselves, the better we are for others.

00:32:20Yeah, I don't even I can go on forever about the topic because it's something that I really just it's crazy to me that I could love myself more now than I ever have five after all these surgeries and chemotherapy and you know, all the things that I've been through in my life.

00:33:14Yeah, you know, some for me I go. I love this body right now. I don't know. We like it. But I love it. It does that make sense. Like you know what? You don't have to like it every minute, but you have to love on it. It's the only body you got. Yeah, you know. It's going with you to the end. So you have a choice, you can either make yourself miserable or about yourself a little bit when you get diagnosed with cancer. It's like a weird me. Realize that there's like a separation of body and soul. Right? Cuz you're like, okay, buddy. What are you doing to me? The soul, not done yet. We've a lot of work to do and I need you for the ride. Like I can't do it without you do in a moment. You go. We'll wait a minute. All those years. I spoke poorly about my body and I hated myself. It was really, I mean, it's the carrier of my soul is the only thing that allows me to do everything I want to do and I really realized that the Heartbreak of, I think a terminal cancer situation, especially when somebody to Yawn is, but I'm not done yet, but my body.

00:34:20Wow, thank you so much for sharing, so much of your story and for putting the idea of self-love and, and seeing yourself for the beauty of who we all are. Do you have anything to offer our listeners? Yeah. Well, if they go to shamelessly feminine zaxcom, I'm not exactly sure when it's going to be up at. They'll be able to get an advance copy of the book, If he's not up as you're listening to this day too, and it will be. So, hopefully by February March that'll be out the podcast there. And they can also find me on Instagram at my photography, that at Jen Rosenbaum with, with Addy. So, they don't get confused. And at least I'm in it as well.

00:35:17Thank you for listening to the third title podcast. Be sure to catch every episode by subscribing on iTunes, to learn more. Check out our website at www.ge.com. The third pedal podcast is sponsored by Foster growth. LLC online at ww.w., Foster growth.